Next week TLC will air the final episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8. If you are sick and tired of all the tabloid stories about Jon and Kate Gosselin ( I am not) then don’t worry because it is almost over. TLC issued a statement saying that they will be working with Kate on her own show but I am not sure that it will involve the kids.

I am sure that if Jon has his way the kids will not be involved at all. So if you are a Jon and Kate Plus 8 fan like I am, tune into TLC on Nov.23 and get the final words from both parents, and hell, maybe the kids will get a few seconds of airtime. After all that is what the show is about. It is about the kids. Yeah right.

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Links that forgot why they were famous in the first place

New Moon sucks is fantastic- IDLYITW

Stephen Colbert talks about working w/ president Obama- Geno’s World

One of Miley Cyrus’ tour buses crash. Miley doesn’t care- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Some chick I have never heard of is naked- Drunken Stepfather

Victoria’s Secret fashion show 2009- yeeeah

Oprah is done- notorious news

Armenians for equal rights- IDLYITW

Miranda Kerr is topless- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Not too long ago Paris Hilton moved in with her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt and since living there, she has already pissed off the cops tp no end just like she did at her house. She has loud parties and people are always stopping by and now the cops are saying that if they get one more complaint they are going to issue tickets and make arrests.

As cool as it would be to see Paris Hilton go to jail again, I think she has learned her lesson. I don’t see why she hasn’t been attention whoring herself (well not as much) as she used to. She used to go to a club and party all night and get hammered and be photographed leaving the bar with a new dude on her shoulder every night but now she has settled down. I say BOO! Loud parties aren’t gonna keep you in the headlines Paris. Make another tape so I can keep you on my relevancy radar.

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John Kerry has a daughter and believe it or not she actually has a cool profession. She is a director in Hollywood, albeit an unpopular one, and she was busted for DUI this morning. I have never heard of Alexandra Forbes Kerry before and after looking at this pic for a few minutes, I still have pretty much zero interest in seeing her ever again.

Nevertheless, she was popped for DUI and when they conducted a field alcohol test, she blew a .06 and .08 is the legal drinking/driving limit. Basically this is a case of dumb fuck cop in Hollywood arresting someone who has a lot of political power. I doubt he will have his job next week but then again I doubt this story will make it on the major news networks. Know why? Cause no one gives a shit who Alexandra Kerry is!

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Links that everyone should know

Robert Pattinson is cruel- IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus does Seventeen magazine- Allie Is Wired

Victoria’s Secret models not in lingerie. Wait…they can do that?- Drunken Stepfather

Amy Winehouse’s tits have burst- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Chastity Bono is dumb- IDLYITW

Tila Tequila is topless!- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Nicole Richie, just months after giving birth to her baby Harlow, has been admitted to Cedars-Sinai hospital for pneumonia. I really wish this chick would stop trying to be mother of the year and actually go out to clubs and have some fun while she is still young. It use to be that she was inseparable from Paris Hilton and partied every Friday night but recently she has been real boring.

Nevertheless I love Nicole Richie and I hope she gets better soon. At least it isn’t the swine flu because that tends to be a little bit more fatal. In the meantime I will toast a glass of jager to the ghost of Nicole Richie past the next time I am at a club. And when I am being treated by the EMT for alcohol poisoning, I will puke up some jager in her spirit too.

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Setting the world’s record for being single the shortest amount of time ever, Avril Lavigne has found a new guy to pound her badge. None other than douche bag extraordinaire Wilmer Valderrama. I hated this dude’s voice and his overall character when he was on that shitty show That 70’s Showand now he annoys me in little bits and pieces by showing up in the tabloids.

I doubt Avril will settle in with him and will probably be back on the market after taking some new dick to the brain for a few weeks. That next hook up will be me in the disguise as a millionaire who thinks he is too good for some pop/punk chick which will make me irresistible to her. After I hit it I will call my boys and let them get sloppy seconds while we wait for the roofies to wear off. Hey man, bros before hos.

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Links that play the field

Carmen Electra might have a sex tape- IDLYITW

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Zac Efron might be banging Pixie Geldof- Holy Moly

Behind closed doors with Tom Cruise- popbytes

Christina Aguilera is an actress now- Amy Grindhouse

Ashley Tisdale is in a bikini- notorious news

The City recap- IBBB

Johnny depp is the sexiest man alive- IDLYITW

Keeley Hazell would rather go nude than wear fur- Fatback Media (NSFW)

It is being reported that two Miss Universe contestants, the contestant for Japan and the contestant for Trinidad and Tobago, are the stars of a newly surfaced three way sex tape. I searched a little bit and tried to find it, but no luck. I will probably have my hands on it by tonight and I can link it here when I am done.

I personally am more excited for the Carrie Prejean sex tape but with two Asian hotties goin’ crazy on some dude’s cock to hold me over, makes me a happy man. Not sure who the guy is, but he should be crowned the luckiest dude alive 2009. I know if I banged two Miss Universe contestants at the same time you would have to physically restrain me from going directly to the press. And in this case, he did the right thing by filming it so he can relive the event again and again and prove to his friends and the world that yes, he did indeed bang two mega hotties from across the world. Once I find the vid I will imagine I am the luckiest guy in the world. Should take about 5-6 minutes. 

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This is actually some pretty cool news. Ashlee Simpson is going to be starring in the musical Chicago on Broadway as Roxie Hart. I have never been to a musical before but from what I hear they are a ton of fun. There is also the added bonus that the mega hot Ashlee Simpson will be its star.

Of course if Ashlee were to sit in my reading chair and hold my hand and ask me to search my soul for honest career advice and what she should do next, I would have to say to immediately try her hand at porn. Think about it, she would be making way more money than Broadway and she would be the first main stream actress to make the switch. Everyone would be in demand for her vids/pics. I doubt she would take my advice but that is why I am a blogger and not a career counselor.

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Links that are at a crossroads in their career

Britney is still in a bikini- IDLYITW

Paris Hilton is jealous- Allie Is Wired

Christina Ricci is gonna be naked soon- Drunken Stepfather

Leighton Meester is in some S&M gear- Celeb News Wire

Cute college girl of the day- College Humor

Carrie Prejean will not sell out- notorious news

I am having a Wizard of Oz flashback- IDLYITW

Joanna Krupa is nude in Playboy- Fatback Media (NSFW)

I do not know why this information took so long to leak to the public but Farrah Fawcett had a secret lover mentioned in her will named Greg Lott. I am sure this whole story was overlooked for so long because Farrah died the same day that Michael Jackson did and that is just sad.

What was not mentioned, which pisses me off, is that I was not mentioned in the will. All those days I spent massaging her feet and humming sweet nothings into the air and she totally abandoned my ass financially. I also took some nude pics of her but I will keep those to myself.

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Daniel Radcliffe, star of the Harry Potter series has been busted smoking pot over in the U.K. I doubt he will turn into one of those trainwreck celebrities and will probably never be anywhere close to Amy Winehouse but I find it hysterical that a guy who is the idol of practically every little kid across the globe is a doper who likes catching a buzz just like every other 20 something year old.

He was at a party the other day and was so wasted that he let some chick draw on him in permanent marker, making an elaborate mustache on his face. When I was that age I wasn’t smoking U.K.’s finest at a party with millions of dollars in the bank. I was smoking Missouri’s worst at my parents with $20 in my pocket on a good day. To sum things up, Daniel Radcliffe= awesome, me = fail.

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Links that smoke like there’s no tomorrow

Michael Lohan is a criminal mastermind- IDLYITW

This what Taylor Lautner looked like before he was having sex with Taylor Swift- Geno’s World

Adam Lambert secures his spot over and over as gayest man in America- Celebrity Dirty Laundry

Leighton Meester is in lingerie- Drunken Stepfather

Cindy Crawford is the victim of an extersion plot. I blame her mole- yeeeah

Ashlee Simpson is in lingerie- notorious news

Jennifer Aniston fails at sexy bikini pics- IDLYITW

Tricia Helfer is naked again- Fatback Media (NSFW)

Richard Heene, or as I call him Dick, has been arrested for attempt to influence a public servant Thursday and was released on bond. It is being reported that he will plead guilty to a misdemeanor but will fight it in court if it is upgraded to a felony. If convicted of a misdemeanor then he would spend 6 months is jail and be fined anywhere from $50 to $750 dollars.

If he is convicted of a felony then he could serve 2-6 years in prison and be fined with anywhere between a $2,000-$500,000 fine. He doesn’t have any money as he was a fuck-up that wants to be on reality tv like he deserves to be in the public spotlight. Well he is making headlines now so it is a dream come true. Only in this case it isn’t 15 minutes of fame it is 2-6 years of fame. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the world’s newest d-lister.

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