Before I had my own children, I had an idea of how parenting would go. I operated under the assumption that I would parent my children to the best of my ability and that would be enough. I believed that my efforts would ensure me happy and obedient children, all the time.

I was wrong.

It turns out that you can parent a child with all your might. You can train. You can teach. You can make up good-behavior charts and bribe reward a child with all manner of stickers and special treats, but these things might not make a difference at crucial times in their life. No parent has ever been able to predict and control every choice a kid makes. That’s the thing about kids—they come with minds of their own. And this often becomes obvious in front of other people, and we mothers are embarrassed beyond words, possibly even stunned silent.

For example, our daughter recently startled a room full of relatives at the family reunion when she yelled, “Pray, Larry!” at her grandfather. You see, my father-in-law is a dear man of God, but he often takes a bit of time to gather his thoughts before beginning the prayer. My mother-in-law has been known to nudge him with a whispered, “Pray, Larry!” to get him moving. My own husband has taken up this prayer-hesitation as he ages, so I’ve started mimicking his mom at the dinner table. “Pray, Larry!” I hiss at Eric.

I think I’m terribly funny, and if he’s honest, so does my husband. He snorts and starts praying. But we forgot to tell Audrey that sometimes little family jokes are just that—little and with only the four of us. So when she was hungry at the family reunion and Grandpa wasn’t on her schedule, she just did what comes naturally—she ordered him to pray. And the whole room thought it was hysterical, except for maybe me. And Grandpa, who apparently doesn’t appreciate being called by his first name by a grandchild. He did get right to the prayer, so I guess the child made her point.

In another example, I think of the time that Caleb threw up on me, all over me, at story time at the library. We were sitting quietly when I suddenly realized he was burning up, then he was throwing up. There was no time to prevent the disaster. My first instinct was to start cleaning the mess, but there was no way I could do that and care for my sick child at the same time. The dear librarians came to my rescue and started mopping up the mess. They cleaned the carpet and the chair and sent me home. My daughter was heartbroken to leave story time early, so they let her stay and then walked her home when it was over.

I could go on and on about the chances God has given me to get over myself as I parent. In fact, I wrote an entire book called There’s a Green Plastic Monkey in My Purse, and it’s all about the ways God has let me grow closer to Him through parenting. Each parenting challenge is another chance to move past my initial reaction to seek the good of my children, and to move past pride and self-absorption. These things are poison to our walks with God, and He lets the difficulties of parenting teach us this over and over.

Colossians 3:12-15 says:

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. (NLT)

Those cringe-worthy moments in motherhood give me a chance to do just these things. They let me learn how to clothe myself with tenderheartedness towards a child even when I’m embarrassed. They give me a chance to react with kindness when a child blurts out something at the wrong time. They let me learn forgiveness over and over again, just like Christ forgives me over and over again. My life is not about me. I live to glorify God, and He teaches me how to do it as I parent. I pray that He lets you learn these same blessed things through your own experiences as a parent!

About the Author

Can you really be successful in a career and in parenting at the same time?

I suppose that depends on your definition of success. Are we aiming for intrinsic satisfaction or outward achievement?

As Seth Godin might say, “Is the work an end to a means or are we concerned about the process — the art of creating something that makes a difference?”

Are we  all about the “winning” or the steps that got us there?

It’s not to say that we should treat our career like a family or our family like a career, but they are not diametrically opposed.

The challenge is nurturing a passion for your work that doesn’t suck the life out of your family.

Unless you are independently wealthy, you have to make a living…and if you are like most, I would bet that your spouse does too.

So, if work is a necessity, and likewise parenting, then the logical progression would dictate that the two should live in harmony with one another.

It sounds so easy right? We all know it’s anything but.

So much of life is about the middle. In parenting and in work, the beginning and the end happen in an instant. The real story, the meat, takes place during the transition from start to finish.

Now you’ve got a decision to make.

- Will your career cannibalize your family?
- Will you decide that professional obscurity is the only way to remain a committed father?
- Or, will you choose to do work that you believe in, while being a dad that’s present and committed?

It might be a fine line, but it’s a line that we must choose to walk.

About the Author

Have you ever listened to someone try to explain “The Cloud?” I don’t mean your technologist from work. I mean an average person.

I can feel the puzzled looks begin to creep over your faces right now.

Thankfully I have some answers for you.

No longer do you have to reel over that question.

No longer do you have to sit quietly as someone awkwardly tries to explain the term.

Fortunately, the people at Rackspace turned to those that don’t hesitate with such questions.

Thanks guys—now it makes perfect sense…

About the Author

A new year with some new resolutions? I know, pretty predicable right…

To be honest, I’ve never really been one to make new year’s resolutions. They always seemed kind of pointless to me. I figured, if you need to change something, why not do it in July or September…what’s so special about January 1st?

Beyond that, all you need to do is read the statistics on how often those resolutions are kept—the numbers don’t paint a pretty picture.

And for all you “resolution proponents” out there that have actually made and kept your resolutions—CONGRATULATIONS! You’re part of the 1%’rs…

Yes, I’ve never been one to make new year’s resolutions…until this year.

The Dentist Changes Everything

Shortly after the calendar rolled over to 2013 I found myself taking my oldest daughter to the dentist. Unfortunately, it wasn’t for a simple cleaning.

Because of a breathing treatment drug that she takes (not because we’re horrible parents), she had developed cavities and an abscess. A tooth extraction, fillings and a crown. It was good fun.

As I sat in the “staging area” rocking her, I suddenly got this biting urge to reminisce. I’m not exactly sure what spawned it but it gripped me.

Interestingly enough, the thoughts weren’t about how many action items I wanted to add to my checklist of pursuits. They were more about what I needed to remove. I liken it to the looming tooth pulling event.

You see my 2012 was one of drastic changes. There was a change in careers, that lead to working remotely, which meant more family time, deeper relationships, and on you go…

They were all fantastic developments that I wouldn’t change for the world!

So why would I want to remove anything from such a great upswing in my life?

A Taste of Something Sweet

My small and seemingly insignificant little epiphone reminded me that, when you get a taste of the good stuff, you don’t want anything else.

My schedule had allowed me to see my kids off to school and tuck them in at night. Although I like to maintain regular office hours, I now had real flexibility in my day.

My wife could actually pop in to the office for a kiss any time…not just as I raced out of the house in the morning or as we dropped in to bed at night.

Even my faith got a fresh injection in to what had become a stale routine.

I had gotten the chance to grow deeper, not just wider.

As a result, I’ve gotten hungry to search for unnecessary frills and execute them on the spot. I admit I’m still a work in progress.

A Little Encouragement

I realize that not everyone finds their way in to my circumstances. But that doesn’t mean that you couldn’t use some “tooth pulling” yourself.

Let me encourage you in a few small steps…

1. Ruthlessly pull out the weeds. We all have clutter in our life. The useless things that distract us. So, if it’s television, shut it off. If it’s your phone, put it down. If it’s an abused hobby, cut back.
2. Protect your family time with your life. As oblivious as we are at times, we can’t afford for our families to slip through the cracks. Eat dinner together, run errands together, take your kids to the park, date your spouse.
3. Schedule time for growth and reflection. For me this includes spending time in daily bible study and prayer. Think deeply about your life and be honest with yourself when you don’t like what you see.
4. Make small changes. An overnight overhaul is rarely going to be successful. Take small steps towards change and when those changes take hold, prepare yourself for the next fight.

How about you?

Did you make some new year’s resolutions this year? Are you succeeding? Failing?

Maybe years past have brought you wisdom that you want to share?

Let us know what’s on your mind!

About the Author

I have been thinking about my dad who passed away many years ago at the young age of sixty eight. Before his death I thought I had finally figured out a way to have a relationship with him. It was all on his terms of course but I did not mind because I wanted to know him, even if it was just a little bit before I lost him.

For some reason it is very hard for most dads to connect to their children. I believe it is partially due to the way they are wired and partially due to how they were fathered. A lot of the time they can deal with the husband and wife relationship because it is a more sexual relationship in nature. But the father/child relationship is a training/nurturing relationship and this is where the problem starts. The role of dad is a hard one to take on since there is no manual to follow. Men tend to like manuals, even if they do not actually read it all the way through. They tend to get the gist of what needs to be fixed or put together and then go by the seat of their pants so to speak.

First of all men learn how to be men from their dads which is where things can sometimes go wrong. If the dad who was teaching did not know how to effectively take the role of dad then how can the son get his training? Many times mom tries to take over the role of dad because dad is busy or just not interested. So where does that leave the boy? Unless his mom is one of those rare women that know what motivates a man and how to teach a man, “man” things, then he probably comes out being somewhat of a pushover. Because he has learned to be nurturing, loving, and responsible for his children but has not been given the tools for the strength he needs to be a loving disciplinarian.

I think one of the reasons being a tuned in dad is difficult for men is because God wired them to be able to shut down their emotions to some extent because He knew they would be defending their families. Either in war or in life there are times when it takes the ability to not think with your heart but make rational decisions when it comes to protecting and defending a family. Being that men have this ability I think many of them tend to use it to their advantage and instead of using it to protect their families they use it to protect themselves from their families. The day-to-day emotional highs and lows of their spouses and children seem to overwhelm them so they hide under the cover of “man” emotions. Even though these abilities are prized in war and in crisis, they will hardly work as the basis of a relationship with their families. The man that truly wants to be part of his children’s lives will have to strive to overcome their instincts to shut down all emotion.

Another thing that I have noticed in my observations in regards to men is that they tend to think that if they messed up their lives somehow in their early years that they know exactly what their children are doing and thinking. I know my dad did this on many occasions. He was upset with how he did in school because according to him he did not care about school and let his grades go. I believe his mom and dad would help him out quite a bit to get him through school. It seems he was a bit of a bad boy and got into a lot of trouble also. So he decided early on that none of his children would get any help from him with school-work and he was a hard with his punishments when it came to grades.

All children are not created equal and most of the time a child does not have the same thoughts as their parents unless the parents give them those thoughts. I was the type of child who was introverted and had trouble asking questions. I worked as hard as I could but I needed extra help. I was not lazy or disobedient like my dad, I just needed the help. Another thing my own father did was to accuse you of doing things wrong because he knew what you were thinking; after all, he had been there and done that. I know that sometimes it is good to be on top of things when it comes to watching out for your kids…so that they do not fall into some of the same traps as you have. But there is a fine line between observing to protect and accusing and punishing because you think you know what is going on in a child’s mind and life.

Children need to connect emotionally with both parents because, and if they do not they will have difficulties with their own relationships later down the line. If a dad truly wants to have a relationship with his children but has not been equipped by his own dad then it will be hard but not impossible. The first step is to seek the good of your children over the fear of opening up. It does not make you less of a man to sit down and talk to your children about what you are thinking and feelings you have about certain subjects. When you share part of your mind and heart with your children you are building a relationship.

Many times over the years I have had conversations with men who have expressed that they do not know what they are feeling, so how can they express it? It may take a little time and a lot of introspection for a man to figure out what he thinks and feels on certain subjects, but it is not impossible. If he truly wants to connect with his children it is something that needs to be done. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your children will not make you weak in their eyes but it is strength in itself. Even if you do it poorly they will see your love and effort and it will endear them to you. If you want them to keep you posted on their feelings and thoughts then you must share yours. And the only way to truly be a part of their lives is to be part of their lives in the deeper aspects of the heart.

Children need their dads in a way that mom cannot provide. Girls need to know that they are protected and loved dearly by their fathers so that they will in turn seek out a husband who will treat them accordingly. Girls tend to gravitate towards men that treat them like their father did…because that is all they know. They are comfortable with being treated thus, even if it is not how they should be treated. If they were disrespected and ignored by their fathers, or degraded by their fathers, nine times out of ten they will be married to men just like their fathers.

Boys on the other hand need the strength and discipline in love that a dad can provide. It has to be done in love for the good of the boy. If it is strong handed discipline without love then you will be creating a monster for someone else to live with. Dads are the ones who need to balance out the love and discipline since mothers are primarily the nurturers. That does not mean that moms cannot discipline their children on a day to day basis. But if it is not backed up by dad, it will not have the same impact. There will be chaos in the home. If a dad is a firm and loving disciplinarian, meaning that he is disciplining for the sake of the child and not because he is angry, those children will grow up feeling safe, loved, and learn how to have self control.

The role of a dad is equally as important as the role of a mother. That is why they are a team of two. They balance out the family and meet the needs of the children in ways the other cannot. It is not too late for any dad to change. If you did not have a good example in your dad then it is time for you to break the mold and not pass it on to your sons and daughters. Do it for them and for yourself, so that you can build meaningful, loving relationships with your children before any more time passes you by.

About the Author

Whether you’re a dad who simply needs a car to get from A to B or a petrol-head who loves life in the fast lane, you’ll need a practical, reliable car to drive the kids around. Here’s a guide to ten of the very best cars for dads. There’s something to suit all families – big and small – so take a look at the list to see which one will fit your lifestyle best.

Nissan Pathfinder

The all-new Nissan Pathfinder, due for release in 2013, is the perfect car for a big family. With 7 seats and loads of storage space, you can fit the kids, their friends and everything that comes with them, in this SUV. The Pathfinder will be offered in either front wheel drive or four wheel drive, so it’s great for driving in all environments.

Ford Fiesta

It’s the simple, reliable and practical hatchback with a reputation for being safe and efficient. Spacious but not unnecessarily large, the newest version of the Fiesta has the latest in safety technology, and looks great. The Fiesta is a great choice for a small family looking for a runaround.

Toyota Prius

If you’re an eco-friendly family looking for a car to fit your busy lifestyle, the hybrid Toyota Prius is a great option. Suitable for both inner-city and highway driving, the hybrid switches between electric and gas power sources. You can pick up a second hand Prius for around $25,000, and you’ll save money on fuel in the long run!

Chevrolet Cruze Station Wagon

The Chevrolet Cruze Station Wagon is the perfect car for a father who needs a multi-functional vehicle for both business and pleasure. Marketed as a ‘quality’ car which your ‘family can rely on’, the all-new Cruze Station Wagon looks great and handles well. Available in different specifications, you can customize your car with Chevrolet’s range of accessories.

BMW X5

If you’ve got a bit of money to play around with, the BMW X5 handles extremely well for a 4×4, and looks just as good as it feels. Versatile and equipped with the latest safety technology, this car will keep you and the kids safe and will make you the envy of all the other dads!

Volvo C30

It’s reliable, stylish and family-friendly. The Volvo C30 isn’t the largest of Volvo’s on the market but it’s perfect for dads with young families. Keep the little ones safe in the C30, as Volvo’s are renowned for their excellent safety ratings and durability.

Toyota Land Cruiser

This 4×4 Toyota is ideal for dads of sports-crazed kids, as you’ll never struggle to fit all their sports equipment in. It doesn’t look as sleek as the BMW X5, but it’s practical, built to last and drives on every terrain.

Dodge Charger

Perfect for a business dad, the Dodge Charger certainly looks the part. It’s powerful so you can put your foot down on the highway, but it’s also family-friendly. Complete with all the most up to date safety features, and perfect for inner-city driving, the dodge makes for a stylish yet practical option.

MINI Cooper Countryman

The MINI isn’t renowned for being a spacious family vehicle, but the MINI Countryman makes for the perfect small but sturdy family car. If you’re a new parent, this MINI is the perfect introduction to 4×4′s. Avoid gas-guzzling SUV’s and opt for a stylish, reliable runaround. The trunk is deceptively spacious, and it scores well on the safety front.

Volkswagen Touareg Hybrid

Last but by no means least, this eco-friendly Volkswagen is small for a 4×4. It gives you all the benefits of a four wheel drive, along with the guilt-free feeling which comes with driving a hybrid. Buying a Volkswagen could be the best move for your family, as they’re safe, reliable and have a fantastic family-friendly reputation.

About the Author

A dad’s encouragement for a holiday ripe with “certainty“.

What can you expect from the this week’s upcoming Thanksgiving feast?

 

There’ll be turkey and stuffing and probably a mashed side-dish.

Along with “something new” that’s… “Oh man, is that fish?“

 

There’ll be pies and jello and many things with a sweet aroma.

But what about pastries, whip cream, and oh yes, your diabetic coma?

 

You’ll have seconds and thirds and fourths and fifths.

And you’ll likely require chest compressions administered by pounding fists!

 

There’ll be family and football and unbuttoned pants galore.

And dad drugged by Tryptophan…he’s past out on the floor.

 

You’ll witness arguments and fights and the occasional physical assault.

And gnarly kid wounds from football on asphalt.

 

Over all, it’s a time to reflect and enjoy what’s really important.

Like family and friends and your daughters new pet rodent.

 

So approach this Thanksgiving with a light heart and laughter.

And keep close those you love, like Fatherhood Factor.

Your Turn

Do you have a favorite Thanksgiving poem or saying you’d like to share?

Go ahead, impress us with your slight turn of phrase…

And we hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

About the Author

Raising girls is much different than raising boys. Girls tend to be more emotional, affectionate, and have different methods of logical thinking. For the father who may feel overwhelmed about how to raise a daughter, these tips may help keep you on task.

1. Horseplay – Although rough-housing is common in most households, girls tend to be more sensitive to physical violence. There are exceptions to every rule, of course. However, rough-housing with your girls could turn them into Tomboys. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you want your daughter to be pretty in pink with dance recitals in the future, it may become difficult to keep her interests unless someone is being thrown around the room.
2. Interactivity – Children are excited when mommy or daddy plays with them with his or her toys. Daughters especially like it when Daddy stops in for a tea party. It may not be the most ideal situation for the macho-man inside of you, but it will bring a level of togetherness with your daughter that is worth the expense of your pride.
3. Language – For some of us, curtailing our language can be a bit difficult. We should always watch ourselves around children, but there are a few words that can really affect girls. While most boys can just shrug off language, girls tend to be more sensitive especially to meanings of certain words.
4. Social Acceptance – One of the more difficult lessons to teach young daughters is the difference of social acceptance between them and boys. While it’s OK for boys to run around topless in public, some cultures frown on it if girls do so. Bathroom usage is another social lesson, but seems to be far easier than to teach a three-year-old streaker to keep her shirt on.
5. Role Models – As many girls will find husbands later in life who resemble their fathers, it is imperative that you be the best father you can be. Your personality traits and mannerisms may hold a key to how your daughter handles relationships in her future. Your actions could cause a ripple effect in her life that will impact a great deal of her decisions as she matures.
6. Sensitivity – Girls need a more sensitive impact on their life as children. While you may think that some reactions are silly and immature, girls can delve fairly deep into an emotional state if you’re not careful with your words. Most girls just want a listener without comments or suggestions.
7. Drama – No matter how much you try to prevent it from happening, there will always be some form of drama regarding your daughter. Some may be less inclined to adorn the queen’s crown, but you might as well prepare for it. It’s not always a good idea to deal with dramatics using sarcasm or belittling comments. She will need you to be calm when she’s not.
8. Presence – All children require a presence from their fathers. In some cases, it could be difficult to manage time. However, being there for your child has to be a priority in your life and nothing should come between you and your family. Make time in your life to be with your daughter, or she’s going to learn to get along without you throughout her entire life.

Although the basic needs of all children are the same, girls require a different mindset on certain aspects of learning. Many girls need constant reassurance of affection from the parents and it’s not uncommon for a daughter to pay more attention to the father, as in the saying, “Daddy’s little girl”. Just try to be sensitive when it comes time for the dreaded “birds and the bees” talk.

About the Author

Elections aren’t for the faint of heart…the easily angered…or for the sensitive stomach for that matter.

Regardless of who you voted for this year, we all got our fill of heroes and villains–of straight talker’s and diplomatic walker’s.

We heard from people with all the answers and from some that obviously didn’t have a clue.

You may have even heard a message that gave you hope!…I had a hard time typing that with a straight face.

I know I got something very specific from this election season; an acute sense of indigestion.

The kind of indigestion that you feel coming from a mile away. For me it was the kind that follows a meal ripe with garlic and onions and a heavy red sauce.

Unfortunately it wasn’t Italian that left me feeling bloated and gassy.

But there was a positive that came out of all the spin and promises–my kids got a chance to sift through the weeds.

Okay, Who Filibustered?

This past weekend my wife and I attended a Tim Hawkins show with some friends. Besides tighter abs, Tim’s act gave me a new wish for the human race.

I wish that brain farts actually made noise.

Rightly designed, they’d be triggered every time something foul fell from someone’s mouth. Can you imagine how advantageous it would be?

Instead of having to teach my daughter’s about fact-checking and the reason for negative advertising, we’d hear a nice long…Bwoo###mp!

Immediately we’d know that someone just dropped a bomb and we could dismiss everything they just said.

Plus, everyone would get to enjoy the snickering and nervous laughter that always follows the sound of a fart…except now it would be on television!

Alas, our brains don’t come equipped with a sputtering orifice. I guess we’re left with the hard work of teaching our kids to spot the proverbial “brain fart” on their own.

Loading Your Smell Detector

What’s the short and dirty answer to teaching your kids to debunk political nonsense? It’s you.

Even though we have a host of tools out there, there can be no replacement for a parent who’s done their homework. This is especially the case for local races that might not garner the investigation of a major fact-check website.

So, assuming that you care enough to educate yourself on the issues, here are a couple of things to keep in mind for the next round of political blathering.

1. Do a little history lesson. If you were as short-sighted as I was in school, you probably found history painfully boring. To quote Lloyd Christmas, “Man, I was way off!” History is vitally important, especially in understanding our political process. You don’t have to lecture or require a term paper, but a little background might go a long way in explaining things.
2. Research the candidates with your kids. Obviously age will be a factor here, but if they are able, sit down with your kids and get acquainted with each candidate. Where do they come from? What shaped them politically? What was their vocation prior to politics? A couple of sites like Politifact.com, FactCheck.org and OnTheIssues.org will give you some added insight as to where candidates stand and how they’ve voted in the past. They are a kind of “Brain Fart Detector” for the Internet Age.
3. Explain your political positions. Hopefully you have reasons for the way you vote. Explain those reasons and then let your kids ask you questions. If anything, this will cause you to shore up your own political footing.
4. Be sure you know who’s pulling the strings. We were berated with negative ads this year that were funded by a bunch of faceless groups. Explaining the agenda behind those supporting a candidate, actually served me well. My oldest is still relatively young, but when she got a taste of why those ads portrayed people in such a hideous light, her little light bulb got just a bit brighter.
5. Be prepared to explain the need for civility. I’m not sure civility ever really existed in politics (at least not in my lifetime) but our kids need a deep understanding of it. With all the volatility of today, you will have a laundry list of opportunities to show your kids how not to act. Point it out to them…and make sure you’re not one of those adding to the problem.
6. Break down the issues for them. I don’t know very many adults that actually do this well…but it is vitally important. I realize that not all the issues are easily understood (whether local or national) but you need to give it a shot. Educate yourself, and then do your best. A good understanding of most of them is better than a little understanding of very few.
7. Take your kids to the polls. Some schools do a pretty good job at creating mock voting opportunities for kids…but not all. This year my wife and I got to take two of our kids with us. You will be amazed at the questions that you get when they get to see you act on your civic duty–live and in person.

A Penny for your Thoughts?

Have you come up with a good method of coaching your kids through the election cycle?

Maybe you have a horror story of what not to do?

Throw your hat in to the ring in the comments section below!

About the Author

Fathers are such an important and wonderful part of a child’s life. For both little boys and little girls, Daddy is the first hero–the one boys want to grow up to be and the one girls want their husband to be like. The world is not perfect these days and many children are in situations where they are not with Daddy everyday–whether the separation is due to divorce, jobs or other situations.

There are many ways Dads can stay close to their children even when they are not present every day. Here are five ways to bridge the separation gap:

1. Phone Calls- hearing Dad’s voice and being able to talk to him in real time is priceless for kids when Dad is away. Often kids have questions or just want to hear his voice. A simple phone call goes a long way to keeping kids connected to an absent father. With today’s technology, video calling is often possible, letting kids see and hear Daddy.

2. Videos- in this day and age of technology, Dads can use smartphones to make fast yet priceless videos to send to their children when they cannot be together. Sometimes phone calls are not an option or far too fleeting for kids to cling to. For younger children, a video of Daddy reading a story to them can be a great connection at bedtime or any other time. For older kids, a video of Dad talking to them, telling a few corny jokes or telling about something interesting he saw/read that day can touch base and let them know Dad is still with them even when he is away.

3. Presents- sending gifts to kids from afar is as easy as shopping online and clicking the buttons. Kids enjoy receiving a package from Dad while he is away and will be able to think about him while they enjoy the toy, book or such that he picked out just for them. Knowing that Dad took the time to choose something fun and send it will bring warm feelings to the child until he or she can see their father in person again.

4. Letters- kids love to get mail and a card or note from Dad while he is not with them. It is an easy way to stay in touch. Timing mail to arrive often will give the child something to look forward to as a way to connect with Dad. Kids often like to keep the letters close to them to look at again and again.

5. Pictures- both Dad and the kids can send photos to each other, keeping everyone in the loop as to what is going on from day to day. With smartphones and email, this is very easily done for most people.

Keeping in touch on a daily basis is important for kids and parents, even if the physical presence is not always possible. Besides divorce separation, sometimes Dads simply work opposite shifts and cannot spend much awake time with the kids, or he may be a soldier and be deployed far away. Whatever the case may be, these tips can help Dads and children stay in touch daily and stay connected to each other’s lives. Of course, it is up to mothers and caregivers to help facilitate these connections. When the time comes that fathers and children can be together in person, the relationship is strong and there is no awkwardness or disconnection. The strong, loving presence of a father is important to raising a happy, healthy child.

About the Author