Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God

Life Stinks!

2009-10-08T05:00:00.000-05:00

The Lord planted a seed in my mind weeks ago. It's been something that has sustained me over the past month. It has encouraged me and given me joy. That thought: Life Stinks!

Confused yet, dear reader? It seems incongruous to say that "Life Stinks" could be an encouraging word. It doesn't make any sense at all unless you factor in the secret ingredient. . . God.

I had been caught in this downward spiral of discouragement and doubt. I kept thinking over and over that life really does stink. Our mountain of debt compared with our part-time income was overwhelming to say the least. I kept saying, "Why me?" I wasn't even saying these things to God anymore. I was just saying them.

Fortunately for me, God was listening anyway. He reminded me of something I learned as a teenager. You see, my mom is fanatical about growing things. We had a huge garden when I was a kid. My dad still kids her today about her affinity for all things green.

One thing she used to do was keep a compost pile. Yep, we had a huge pile of rotting, stinky, aromatic grossness in our backyard. It was basically garbage - all the things "normal" people throw in the trash. We saved anything that might make a plant grow - coffee grounds, egg shells, etc. I prefer not to think too hard about it even now.

I have to give credit where credit is due though. My mom has grown some amazing fruits and vegetables in her time. . . with the help of the compost, of course. We had no end of fresh corn, okra, tomatoes, squash, broccoli, peppers, etc. It makes me hungry just thinking about it.

What does all that have to do with "Life Stinks"? Everything! Papa reminded me that when that garden was first planted it looked like a bunch of dirt, and it smelled worse thanks to the compost. As time went on we started seeing some growth, but the stench was still there. However, when we picked those homegrown tomatoes and squash, and started partaking of the fruits of mom's labor, we kind of forgot about how horrible the smell was when we started.

I said all of that to say this. Life stinks!! But that putrid stench that we can barely endure at times is the compost of our lives. The situations that we encounter and call nauseating, fetid, rancid and decaying are in all actuality the fertilizer that our Father will use to grow us spiritually.

I am in no way saying that all of our circumstances are from God. I certainly can't blame the messes I've caused on Him. And I'm not saying it is at all pleasant. At times, it is barely tolerable to deal with, but in the end, the benefits far outweigh the cost.

If you think I'm spouting gibberish, let me refer you to Romans 8:28. He never promises us that this walk will be easy. We're not guaranteed a struggle-free life. However, He does say that all of the things we endure will "work together" for our good.

I'm still staring our mountain of debt full in the face without any clue how this is all going to work out. My husband is still praying for a full-time job with insurance and benefits so we can see a dentist or a doctor when we need to. In the meantime, he's working two jobs to try to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table. Let's face it, in many ways, right now as I sit writing this missive, Life Stinks! All I can say is. . . wait till you taste the fruit He's growing in us!!

Blessings!

Here's the Excuse

2009-10-07T11:08:00.003-05:00

It's been a busy summer. I've had my hands full with the usual issues of life topped off by inept contractors who refuse to finish a job. Yes, we're still working on repairs from hurricane Ike. After we complete the repairs from Ike, we'll have to start on repairing the damage the contractors have done. No, seriously, they have managed to make parts of my house look worse than when they started.

Besides all of those wonderfully fantastic things, I've started homeschooling my 3 1/2 year old. I know, I know, some of you out there are thinking I'm one of those pushy moms who is going to drive my kid way too hard academically. Actually, it's the other way around. I'm having a hard time keeping up with her. I took her through a reading course in the spring, and now she's reading chapter books with no problem. She's speeding through the kindergarten math so quickly that she is likely to finish the 2 year course in 1 year. I know I'm her mom; therefore, there is an innate bias in my opinions, but she is crazy brilliant!

Anyway, that's what we're up to these days, and so, I haven't stopped long enough to blog. There's another reason I have been away recently. After being at one church for the better part of 10 years, the Lord led us to return to the church I attended as a child. I think we needed the change on so many levels.

It has been a breath of fresh air spiritually. Our faith has been built up, and we are able to see the forest in spite of the trees now. Frankly, we've been walking through some of the most difficult trials, financially speaking, of our lives. I am well aware that we are in good company (is that the right terminology?) with our economy as it has been. However, in the past month we have been given some of the most timely and relevant messages - straight-shooting, word of God messages that remind us of all those things we already know but need to hear again and again.

In any case, I'll be back from time to time now. I make no promises as to how often, but as I've begun to see light through the darkness, I have felt the desire to share that light again.

Blessings!

Christian Carnival CCLXXXII

2009-06-24T07:54:00.010-05:00

Well, it's that time again kids . . . time for this week's round-up of some of the best posts in the Christian blogosphere. So, let's jump right in, and I hope you enjoy this week's edition of the Christian Carnival!

Jason over at Wretched Christian Blog challenges us to look at some of those Christian cliches we've heard so many times and evaluate the truths in them - or lack thereof - in his post Annoying Christian Cliches and How are They Wrong.

There are times when all of us need to be reminded of who we are in Christ, and Jaime does just that in her post Secure Your Identity at For His Glory.

FMF presents The Price of Faith, Being Christian posted at Free Money Finance.

NC Sue asks the all important question: How is it possible to forgive? at her blog, IN HIM WE LIVE AND MOVE AND HAVE OUR BEING.

Bible SEO shares an in-depth study on the Temptations of Jesus in the Wilderness.

Mikkal Travvis tries to separate truth from fiction in the post Huffington Post: Christians Are Domestic Terrorists! posted at Why God?.

ChristianPF over at Money in the Bible | Christian Personal Finance Blog gives us some insight into Medi-Share: A Christian health insurance alternative?

Annette at Fish and Cans asks So how does one teach a child to see God?, a question I'm sure we all struggle with as parents from time to time.

Louise shares how she refocuses her heart toward thankfulness rather than indulging in self pity in her post Choosing Thankfulness posted at Child of Grace.

Diane R. gives us part two of her review of Soong-Chan Rah's new book about how the American church needs to get out of its White Cultural Captivity in her post The New Evangelicalism Review-2 over at Crossroads: Where Faith and Inquiry Meet.

In his post John Calvin: Lift your hands "for the glory and worship of God" posted at who am i? Barry Wallace shares some of John Calvin's comments on expression in worship.

Michelle at Thoughts and Confessions of a Girl Who Loves Jesus... shares an exciting testimony of God's perfect timing in her post Psalm 148:13.

Jeremy Pierce at Parableman comments that, "President Obama has been criticized for saying that the U.S. isn't a Christian nation while later saying that it would be one of the largest Muslim countries if you just counted its Muslim citizens. There's an easy way to explain why this is consistent, but there might be problems with the motivation for saying these two things." He delves a little deeper in his post Obama on Muslim and Christian Nations.

Over at C. Orthodoxy, Ken Brown shares a wealth of knowledge as he gives us the responses of more than 65 blogs to his question about the 5 books or scholars that have most influenced how they read the bible. You can read their top picks in his post Biblioblog Top 10 Most Influential Authors and Books.

I had to laugh when I read Rey's post Theological Load Bearing Words over at The Bible Archive because he's completely right about the ambivalent meaning we and others assign to all these words.

And, I'll finish off the carnival with my most recent post Remodeling and Repairs here at Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God. I share a little lesson learned through our home repair drama.

Well, that wraps things up for this edition of the carnival. I hope you've gleaned something that will encourage, inform and/or exhort you this week. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be your host. I look forward to reading all of your posts next week - you can submit them here.

Well, I'm gonna go check the thermometer and see if it's going to top 100° again today. As always, Blessings!

Remodeling and Repairs

2009-06-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

Oh, man, my life has been a crazy conundrum of colors and cacophony lately. We've had people in and out trying to do repairs on our house. This is all as a result of hurricane Ike last September. And, yes, the repairs are just now being done because we've been doing the insurance tango for the past 9 months to get a fair settlement.

Needless to say, it's been quite the bustle of activity around here. Since there were repairs needed in almost every room in our home, I was sequestered in my bedroom with my 3 year-old daughter and 4 year-old beagle for 2 weeks. Let's just say that I feel no need to experience that level of closeness again for a very long time - like, never!

We still haven't completed the repairs. There are loads of touch-ups and redo's that still have to take place. In fact, every time they touch up one spot, they seem to knock two more scratches and scuffs onto the walls making this process seem interminable. However, something struck me the other day as I walked through my repainted rooms for the 50th time, taking note of all the nicks and scratches that will need a paintbrush applied.

You see, I know this house like the back of my hand, and I'm a perfectionist by birth. It's my home, and I want it to be as amazing as it can possibly be. Therefore, I see every mistake, scuff, scratch, mark and stain. However, the hirelings who have been working for the past two weeks have a nominal interest at best. As long as they get paid, they don't care if my home is the best version of itself.

I'm sure you can see the parallel coming here. The same is true of God's view of us, His children. Papa sees our potential, and His desire is to see His relationship with us develop us into all that He created us to be. Unfortunately, we tend to walk around haphazardly scuffing, marking, scratching and staining our lives.

Here's the great news though - our Papa is the ultimate refurbisher. He doesn't need a paintbrush or caulk gun to make things right again. Instead, He makes us brand new, washes us completely clean leaving no trace of the damage we do.

I have to admit that after going through this process with my home, that is an even more amazing truth to me. I see how my care and concern for who and what I am is so much less than His. Yet, I insist on doing things my own way so much of the time, which almost always results in less than stellar results.

I think next time I try to remodel my life, I'll just hand my paintbrush and nail gun to Papa and let Him take care of things. That way, they'll be just . . . perfect.

Blessings!

Cricket, Cricket

2009-05-20T19:24:00.004-05:00

Have you been hearing crickets lately? You know, in my absence have there been crickets chirping around here? I feel like a lot of the craziness that has been my life lately is probably not good fodder for a blog - thus, my silence.

You know the proverbial rock and a hard place? Yeah, well, I feel pretty much sandwiched between those two fellas lately. There's really no easy answer to the problem, so I keep doing what I'm doing and praying that Papa will shed a little of His light on the subject.

In other news, I am happy to report that we may have finally settled our insurance claim from Ike. I haven't breathed that huge sigh of relief just yet. I'm waiting to see the check before I launch into my happy dance.

I thought it a bit comical that we have entered the new hurricane season before settling our claim from last season. I am really hoping that it will not be long before the hole in the ceiling is gone and our house restored to its former glory. Well, glory may be a bit over the top, but at least to its middle-class respectable state.

This one thing I know: I am blessed. My Father reminds me each day as I kiss my husband when he leaves for work and I hold my daughter tight as she says she loves me. I am a woman that has no end of blessings in her life. No way am I going to let a little insanity ruin that! Rock, Hard Place, meet my Father, the Rock of Ages.

Blessings!

Check Out the Christian Carnival

2009-04-29T09:15:00.002-05:00

There are some great posts in this week's Christian Carnival. It is being hosted at RodneyOlsen.net. You should click on over and pick a post that sounds right for you.

Blessings!

Ladybug and the Great Doodlebug Relocation Project

2009-04-24T09:31:00.004-05:00

I spent the entire day cleaning my house yesterday, and when I say "entire day," that's exactly what I mean. I started at about 8 am, and was finishing up at about 6 pm. I vacuumed under the cushions on the couch, located a missing princess shoe, and even managed to get the sliding glass door cleaned. I pulled off a more amazing feat by zipping outside to mow and fertilize the back yard while my hubby was home for 45 minutes between jobs. It was a good day of hard work, and I was feeling pretty proud of all I had accomplished.

As I was putting the finishing touches on my day of domesticity by baking homemade banana bread, I heard the plaintive cry of my little Ladybug, Avari, as she was playing outside. She was frantically yelling, "Get it, Mama, get it." I ran to the door expecting to see some unruly piece of nature attacking my darling daughter. What I found was a tear-stained 3 year-old grasping two rather large tufts of freshly fertilized lawn - one tuft per hand.

As she stood on the little piece of concrete that serves as a canvas for her sidewalk chalk masterpieces, I quickly scanned the area for the cause of her outburst. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, relatively speaking, I began to ask her what was wrong. She, still crying in that stuttering, panicky fashion, replied, "The doodlebug, Mama, get (sniff) the doodlebug." I again looked around trying to locate the poor, unsuspecting creature only to find . . . nothing. As she used one of her grass-filled fists to point to the edge of the patio, I figured out that the little guy had disappeared into the grass, thus, the rampage against my lawn.

I knelt down and pulled back the grass to see several little doodlebugs cowering in fear. I scooped one up, and cheerfully said, "Look, Mama found him." I proceeded to pry the remnants of my once verdant lawn from her tiny grasp as I produced the balled up bug.

Then, still gasping and sniffling, my little one told me that I needed to put him in the flower bed. Easy enough, I headed to the nearest flower bed, which immediately induced a fresh wave of panic and tears as she cried, "not that flower bed."

At this point, I seriously wanted to retreat to my kitchen to finish my bread before my dog devised a plan to somehow climb up the stools around the island and eat the batter. I not so calmly asked, "Which flower bed would you like Mama to put him in, sweetie?"

She pointed a shaky finger behind me, and I slowly turned to see her indicating the flower bed on the other side of the yard, the side of the yard I had finished watering only minutes before. Translation: the side of the yard that was going to require me to take another shower after the relocation was complete. I tentatively replied, "Are you sure you want to take him so far away from his friends?" To which she unwaveringly answered, "Y-y-y-yes, w-w-with the buttercups (sniff)."

I obligingly hiked my pants up around my knees while balancing the frightened ball of doodlebug in the palm of my hand and began the short trek to my embarrassingly overgrown, buttercup-filled flower bed. The whole time I'm thinking, "We are now relocating this poor fella to the doodlebug equivalent of 4,000 miles from home." When we arrived at our destination a mere 15 seconds later, I placed our "rescued" doodlebug next to a buttercup and hopefully asked, "OK?"

Again, I endured a seemingly unending round of cries and tears. I hurriedly scooped up the bug and inquired as to my mistake. The conversation went something like this:

I asked, "Wasn't that where you wanted him?"

Ladybug said, "Put him by the buttercuuuups."

My response: "You mean where I just had him?"

Her reply: "Yeeees, Mamaaa."

My desperate request for reassurance: "Are you sure?"

Her meager attempt to allay my fears: "Yes (sniff), by the buttercup (sniff)."

Again, I placed the little ball of bug next to the buttercup and said, "I'm sure he'll be happy here in the flowers." As I walked away (I would have run, but kids can smell fear), I heard her cry, "My doodlebug!!!"

Is there a message in my story? Oh, I don't know. I just really thought it was too cute not to share.

I suppose after it happened I thought about how that poor little bug, from his perspective, got picked up by giant hands and placed so far out of his comfort zone that he's probably still rolled in that tiny gray ball.

I feel like rolling up in a tiny gray ball sometimes. Of course, if I was limber enough to roll myself in a ball it wouldn't be tiny by a long shot.

On the other hand, as Ladybug insisted on relocating our friend, she had his best interests at heart - a vast expanse of beautiful wildflowers where he could roam to his doodlebug's heart's content.

It reminded me that although I can't see the big picture of my life from down here in the grass where I try to roll up in a ball when confronted with new obstacles or fears, my Father is carefully and gently moving me toward his perfect plan. That is a relocation project I can get behind!!

Blessings!

Just Plain Funny!

2009-04-22T08:56:00.005-05:00

I had a couple of really important things I thought about posting here today, but I decided that maybe you just needed a good laugh instead. I know I did. So without further ado . . .

A friend posted this jewel on Facebook recently, and I nearly had coffee coming out my nose as I read it. I know - gross, right? Sorry, my husband has rubbed off on me. It's an illness. Maybe I should start a foundation or something. Okay, I said without further ado, and this has been some serious ado. Let the funny begin!!

Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, let's try this my way...just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you're scared, we will high tail it out of here.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again...I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I'll pick you up and dust you off--After I laugh my head off!

9. This is my oath...I pledge it to the end.

'Why?' you may ask...because you are my FRIEND!

And, just because it's Wednesday here's a second funny to brighten your day. My daughter and I love this one. Ya gotta love The Muppets!!

If that wasn't spiritual enough for you, let me remind you that Proverbs 17:22 says, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Have a joy-filled day!

Blessings!

Christian Carnival CCLXXI

2009-04-08T08:23:00.022-05:00

I am excited to be hosting the 271st Christian Carnival. I think there is something for everyone in this edition. So, without further ado, let's get started.

Michelle chronicles a day on the mission field in Nicaragua in her post, Philippians 2:14-16, at Thoughts and Confessions of a Girl Who Loves Jesus.

Over at blog.kennypearce.net Kenny ponders the question, "How does one engage in intellectually honest apologetics?" in his contribution, Apologetics: The Good and The Bad.

ChristianPF reminds us that "Our faith should affect our spending decisions - and help us control it as well!" in How to Control Spending.

Trent gives us a compelling look at fear in his two part post Enemy Behind the Lines: Fear, Pt. 1 and Enemy Behind the Lines: Fear, Pt. 2 at his blog, Christian Men Christian Warriors.

Free Money Finance draws a parallel between the current economic climate and The Story of Joseph as he encourages us to save in our times of plenty for the eventual times of famine.

Jeff at ReturningKing.com gives us part 20 in his Wolves in Wool series with his post, The Consumerization of the Gospel.

We are presented with the thought-provoking question, "Was the resurrection of Christ just a trick of the apostles' minds?" by Chris at Homeward Bound in the first part of his series Objections to the Resurrection.

For those of us who have never had the pleasure of Entering St. Peter's Basilica in Rome we are treated to some beautiful pictures by Victor at his blog, Pictures of the Vatican City, Rome, Italy.

Richard H. Anderson presents Victory of Christ posted at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.

Michael takes a look at the sacrifice of The Suffering Servant and why it is important to us at Chasing the Wind.

Over at The Minority Thinker, Shannon delves into the American Family Association's suggested boycott of Pepsi and posits Family Guy and Pepsi: Shooting at the Wrong Targets!

Now, take a deep breath, grab a bite to eat, visit the little girls' or little boys' room, and settle in for the second half of this thought-provoking carnival.

This next offering really challenged me in my perception of what a church should look like. Brian at Boston Bible Geeks gives us The Importance of the Sacraments.

As the wife of a science fiction and fantasy aficionado I really appreciated Ken's look at Science Fiction, Fantasy and an Interventionist God at his blog, C. Orthodoxy.

Weekend Fisher considers some of the sinfulness in inter-Christian dialog (or perhaps the lack of dialog) in her post, Christian Reconciliation: What is the first step? at Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength.

Mark at Pseudo-Polymath wonders whether it is reasonable and rational to be a Christian in our modern world in his contribution, Of Reason (or Warrant) and Faith.

Rani shares her Prayer of the Week - Life of Righteousness at her blog, Christ's Bridge.

In The Incarnation and Compatibilism Jeremy at Parableman presents an argument that the Incarnation, as traditionally understood, fits best with a compatibilist view of human freedom.

Catez gives us an in-depth review and her thoughts after seeing Slumdog Millionaire posted at Allthings2all.

Jason presents Book Review: Old Testament Theology: A Thematic Approach posted at Pastoral Musings.

When I read Rodney's post on What do we believe? at RodneyOlsen.net, I was seriously surprised at the findings of a recent survey done in Australia.

And, finally, please take a moment to read my thoughts on the Jesus-lover's role as an encourager in my post, Don't Make Me Read Your Mind right here at Fathom Deep.

Now, for a little light housekeeping. No, I don't want you to dust. Well, I mean, if you were to offer, I wouldn't turn you down. But, that's not what I meant by housekeeping. The next Christian Carnival will be held over at Fish and Cans. If you would like to participate (and we would love to have you), go here, complete the submission form, and I'll be reading your post this time next week!

Thanks to everyone who gifted us with their thoughts this week. It was a treat to host again, and I'll see you all next week at Fish and Cans.

Blessings!

Don't Make Me Read Your Mind

2009-04-07T19:22:00.000-05:00

When my sister and I were young, we had a bad habit that drove my mother absolutely insane. If we were looking for something and went to ask her for help, we had the propensity to say, "Mom, can you help me find the 'thingie' for the 'doodad' that does the 'stuff.' Or something of that nature in any case. It was a real sticky point with her when we did that. Of course, we knew exactly what we were talking about, but Mom would say, "I'm not a mind reader. You're going to have to tell me what you're looking for." To which we would so sagely reply, "I told you I'm looking for the 'thingie'. . . " It was like a bad version of "Who's On First."

Well, my sister and I both have children now, and we feel Mom's pain. Our kids, despite being extremely intelligent and capable of complex conversation, insist on asking us to find 'thingies' and 'stuff.' I've heard my mom's words tumble back out of my mouth as I stood there having the oddest sense of deja vu.

Now, after a particularly long session of the "I'm Not A Mind Reader Game" with my daughter, I started thinking about how I still fall into this trap as an adult. Oh, I've grown past the 'thingie' requests of my childhood, but I still expect people to read my mind sometimes. I think maybe we all do it to some extent.

How often in a day do you think, "I really love my husband" but not tell him. Aren't there times when you spend time with a friend and are reminded how much their friendship means to you, but you don't stop to tell them? We tend to pass over the positive things while we are quick to point out negatives. We do it to our spouses, our children, our friends.

I've been struggling off and on lately. I'm sort of trapped alone at home a lot. My husband is working two jobs, and we are a one car family, which gives me way too much time to think. I tend to pick myself apart, and the enemy really loves to sow seeds of doubt in those times. I doubt my abilities as a wife and mother. I beat myself up about my lack of perfection as a musician. I question whether I'll ever be a good photographer. I have a million of them, and the devil loves a good opening. He jumps right in and starts offering suggestions of my other shortcomings.

Do you know what stops those rambling doubts? Encouragement. Words of comfort. Being reminded by a friend of who I am in Christ. I'm not sure when we are all going to figure out that we need each other, and none of us are mind readers. We need to speak encouragement and comfort into the lives of those around us not just think it. Just hearing that you are valued and appreciated makes a world of difference.

Please don't misunderstand me. I have to realign my focus on who I am in Christ and not pin my value to my talents or skills or lack thereof. I have to cast off the doubts that the enemy would place in my life if I allow it. However, sometimes it takes the words of a friend and fellow Jesus-lover to help in that quest.

I found this word in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 this morning. It says:

³Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

So, next time you think something good about someone, don't just think it, share it. It's so easy to pick up the phone, walk across the street, send an e-mail, or write on someone's wall (on Facebook, of course). Through that simple act of sharing a word of comfort or encouragement you are not only showing your love and concern, you are sharing the love of our Savior. And there is no greater gift than that.

Blessings!

Through The Eyes of A Child

2009-03-24T20:11:00.004-05:00

As I'm sure you may have noticed (if you come here often), I have been less than present in the blogosphere of late. With my new semi single parent status as a result of Dan working two jobs, I've found much less time for writing. I have made peace with that in some ways. I suppose that sometimes you have to focus on living life now and writing about it later. Well, now is later, at least tonight.

Last Friday we went to Brenham for the day. That's where they make Blue Bell ice cream, and that alone could cause the trip to be worthwhile. However, we went to see the bluebonnets and take our annual wildflower photos.

As we drove across the Washington county line we were greeted by fields of gorgeous wildflowers. Of course, there were acres of bluebonnets, but there were also Indian paintbrushes and beautiful fields of yellow wildflowers. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and I was once again amazed at the handiwork of our Father.

As we all piled out of the car to stretch our legs after the 2 hour trip, the kids took off running through the fields. We took some good pictures and made some wonderful memories. More than that, I was reminded at how the simple joys are really still the best.

Avari and her cousins all ran around so happy and carefree. It made me wish for that kind of abandon. Then I remembered that our Father calls us to be just like those children. You don't believe me? Jesus says this in Matthew 18:3-4:

³Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

We, as God's children, have the freedom to come and turn our every care over to Him. I fail miserably at this on a near daily basis. Thankfully, His love never fails and His mercies are new every morning.

Isn't it just astounding that if we choose to be, we can live our lives basking in our dependence upon Him instead of struggling with our own ineptitudes? He doesn't love us more or less based on our accomplishments or accolades. Papa simply wants us to rely on Him and allow Him to lead as we follow.

I want to be like a child. That's the lesson I learned in the bluebonnets this week.

Blessings!

You Can Lead A Horse To Water

2009-03-08T18:20:00.004-05:00

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink, or so the saying goes. I ran into this problem recently with my 3 year-old daughter. I decided it would be a good idea for her to spend the night with my parents. We tried to dazzle her with the prospect of pancakes on Saturday morning, a surprise from Mommy, sleeping in a "tent," etc., etc. Of course, the more we tried to entice her, the more adamant she became that she wasn't going to spend the night.

We left our meeting that Friday night and called to check in with my parents only to find out that Avari had refused to go into the back of the house where her room and the bathroom are. In fact, she refused to even let MiMi brush her teeth for fear that it would lead to her spending the night.

I led her to the water, but as I tried to force her to drink, my beautiful daughter turned into a 3 year-old mule! I have to admit that following this morning's service, I was feeling a little mulish myself.

We had a special speaker this morning. He began his time by regaling the congregation with stories about his last two meetings where people filled the altars from "here" to "there."

He spoke on holiness and godliness. These are admirable topics, and I wholly agree that we should pursue both qualities in our lives. However, he didn't give one concrete, real-life example of how we should seek to become holy or godly.

Oh, he read loads of scriptures with the words "holy," "godly," "holiness," and godliness" in them. But he never got down to the root of what it means to be holy or godly. How are those inexperienced, undiscipled listeners supposed to know what all this means without a little explanation and real life application?

Maybe it's my Homiletics teacher's fault. He drilled into me that the best way to preach a sermon is E. I. A. A. Oh. This translates to Explain, Illustrate, Argue and Apply. If you do this, your congregation will say, "Oh." This puts a "handle" on the suitcase that is your sermon so people can carry it with them as they leave the sanctuary. It works too in case you were wondering.

Beyond the fact that I didn't cotton to his homiletic style, there was the altar call. I found out how he filled those altars in his previous meetings. He forced everyone out of their seats and into the altar area. Seriously, he kept talking until every little old lady and her walker were down front. Then he had us place our hands over our hearts, raise our left hands and "pray this prayer after me."

I suppose our service will be his testimony at the next meeting about how the altars were filled with praying people. Never mind that there was a cattle prod moving us down there.

After we were herded down to the altar like so many head of cattle, we were lectured about how if we really love God we would come back to his other two services tonight and tomorrow night. Some of his words were, "if you really want to go to heaven, you need to be here tonight."

Last time I checked, Sunday night services were not a prerequisite for entering heaven. I could be mistaken. Those verses may have been accidentally left out of my Bible. In any case, I've never read the 11th commandment that states, "Thou shalt not miss Sunday night services or thou wilt spend the whole of eternity burning in everlasting fires."

So, instead of leaving our Sunday morning service feeling energized and ready to face the world, I left feeling bullied and peeved. Maybe it was just me. Perhaps I wasn't searching hard enough for the good in all of it. But as I looked around I saw several others who looked just as disturbed about the whole thing as I was.

I'm just saying that people question why the younger generation is fleeing the churches. This is an example of why. In my opinion, there wasn't much genuine about what happened. Our speaker may have had good intentions, but you cannot manipulate and bully people into the altars and expect a "repeat after me" prayer to stick.

Instead, why can't we follow the example of some of the preachers of old. I never read about Paul forcing people into the altars to pray. He allowed the Holy Spirit to do His job. As ministers, we are responsible for giving the word, but the Holy Spirit draws people. Forcing them into the altars does not a conversion or revival experience make. We have to remember that God is God, and He is fully capable of moving upon the hearts of men and women without manipulation or bullying.

So, it may not be as catchy a saying, but I think the thing that describes my feelings about this morning is "you can lead a horse to water, but if you nearly drown him in the pursuit of getting him to drink, he may turn mulish."

Blessings!

Hide & Seek

2009-03-03T20:21:00.004-06:00

Our daughter is 3 years old now. She is very bright for her age, and I don't just say that as a biased mom. She leaves people with their mouths hanging open at some of the things she knows and says. Her Sunday school teacher got really excited a few weeks ago because Avari actually didn't already know the story they were studying that day.

Seriously, the kid has a good number of her books memorized. I don't mean just a little bit. She can quote them word for word. So, a few weeks ago we decided that it was a good time to start helping her memorize scripture. She took to it like a fish to water.

So far, in the past 4 weeks she's memorized John 3:16, I John 1:9, Proverbs 3:5-6, Psalms 23:1-6 and Jeremiah 29:11-13. She can say them all flawlessly without any prompting. It makes my heart proud to hear her as she's playing just begin to quote the word of God.

Now, I know full well that she does not completely grasp the meaning of the words she is quoting. We explain the scriptures to her as we work on memorizing them so they won't just be words. But I know it will be years before she is able to fathom what she's learned. So, what's the point, right?

Well, there's a scripture that I have memorized. It is Psalm 119:11. It says, "I have stored up your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." I believe that the more of Papa's words I can plant in my heart the better. And I believe that the benefits go even beyond not sinning against Him. His words comfort me when I am struggling. I find wisdom and insight into situations based on the scriptures. The list could go on and on.

My plan is to pass that gift along to my daughter. When she grows older and begins to feel she is unworthy, she can remember that in John 3:16 the scripture tells her our Father loves her so much He sent His only son to save us. When she feels that she is mired in her own sins and faults, she will know that she is promised purity from all unrighteousness when she confesses her sin to Papa. If she should question her direction in life, Proverbs 3:5-6 will remind her that she can place her trust in Him and He will guide her. Psalm 23 can provide her the assurance that her Father watches over and protects her, guides her and keeps her. And Jeremiah 29:11-13 will remind her that there is a God-ordained purpose for her life that none can question.

Is it too early to have her hide His words in her heart? I think not. If she has them hidden firmly, she will not have to seek them too earnestly before she finds them. They will be there to wrap her in the love and grace of her Father, our Father. May we all hide His words in our hearts!

Blessings!

Blessings from UPS

2009-02-11T12:41:00.004-06:00

I was in my scroungy clothes (the ones I clean house in), and someone rang my doorbell this afternoon. Now, let me tell you, these clothes were not meant to be seen by the outside world. We're talking bleach spots and all. Fortunately, I did at least have makeup on. I figured it was yet another roofer or yard care company wanting me to purchase their services, so I ignored them. We get at least two or three of those a week.

I suppose it's a good thing that my visitor was persistent. It was the UPS delivery man. When I saw him, I was even more confused because I haven't ordered anything from anyone recently. I cracked the door assuming he was mistakenly delivering to the wrong address (although he knows me pretty well after all the deliveries he's made over the years).

I opened the door and he said, "Target Corporation." I stammered out a "What?," and he repeated himself. I signed the signature tablet, took my envelope and closed the door (after saying thank you, of course). I proceeded to open the package and find a Target gift card from a friend.

Well, let's just say that after the good cry I just had I'm no longer wearing any makeup, so I would scare the life out of the next person who comes to my door. You know, it's funny, my UPS delivery man is a Christian, but he had no idea he was delivering a blessing to me today. Papa has a strange way of letting you know He's got everything under control. And I am reminded once again that the amazing friends He has given me are His greatest blessings!

Life Is What You Make Of It . . . Sort Of

2009-02-06T10:33:00.004-06:00

Some things in life we have control over and others we do not. There are things that happen to us that are completely out of our control. There is nothing that we did to warrant it, and there is nothing we can do to change it. However, I would say that in some ways life is what we make of it.

To put it a different way - Is your glass half empty of half full? Our attitude about our situation in life can make a difference. I've been extremely honest about our circumstances. They haven't changed one iota of late; however, I've been more joyful and less despondent. I still have my moments of feeling forlorn, and I don't claim to always be cheery. But, overall, I've been appreciating more of the "haves" in my life and trying to focus less on my "have nots."

I suppose that it has something to do with the scripture that Papa brought to mind, Matthew 6:25-34. This has been my life raft lately, and it says:

²⁵ Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Ar you not of more value than they? ²⁷And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? ²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. ³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³² For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you. ³⁴Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

What I take from this is that first and foremost I need to be hearing Papa's voice and seeking Him in my life. Secondly, I can worry about tomorrow until the cows come home tonight, and it isn't going to make a dime's worth of difference. I can give myself an ulcer, bicker with my husband and make my daughter miserable, and it still won't change circumstances.

OR, I can allow my Father to show me his bird's eye view of my life and enjoy the blessings I do have. Because when it comes right down to it, every moment I spend worrying is another moment I've given victory to the devil. He would love nothing more than to keep us all stewing in our own juices and consumed by our own concerns that we ignore our Father's voice. His voice that comforts us and reminds us that He knows our worries and that He holds us in the very palm of His hand.

There is a song that comes to my mind. I haven't thought about it in ages. A friend of mine used to sing it in church occasionally. It is called "Blessed." The words of the chorus are these:

I am blessed, I am blessed
From when I rise up in the morning
Till I lay my head to rest
I feel you near me
You soothe me when I'm weary
Oh, Lord, for all the worst and all the best
I am blessed

May we all remember that regardless of our situation or our circumstances "for all the worst and all the best" we are blessed.

Blessings!

Soul Scrubbing

2009-01-27T08:41:00.002-06:00

I'm not sure why I picked that title. It seemed the best way to describe my worship experience last Sunday. It left me feeling refreshed and clean but a little raw.

My friend, Jennifer, led worship Sunday morning, and I always love it when she does. She's got an amazing voice and an ability to usher you into the very presence of God. Not everyone can do that.

There are people who are terrific musicians and have fabulous voices, but that is where it stops. It is a completely different gift that allows you to be sensitive enough to your congregation to lead multiple generations holding varied tastes into the throne room together. Jennifer is blessed to have that gift. Maybe, the more apt statement would be that we are blessed that Jennifer has that gift.

In any case, she sang this song called "Come To Me" as an offertory before we entered worship. Again, it was one of those "I needed to hear that" songs. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who needed to hear it either. The congregation was eager to meet with Papa.

I know it shouldn't, but sometimes it still amazes me how my Father can reach down and just reinvigorate me when I'm at my lowest. Somehow it reminds me of the sticks that are passing for plants in my backyard right now. They are dormant, but as soon as the first breath of spring blows through, they will begin to revive. I felt His breath blow through my life on Sunday. It spoke to my dormant heart and began to revive it.

Things may not be easy for a long time. My husband is still looking for a job. He has been substitute teaching during the day. Now he is looking at trying to get a low-paying part-time job in the evenings/weekends to supplement that. We are simply trying to stay afloat at this point. We are doing the very best that we know how to do. You know what? It's not enough. Our best will never be enough on its own, but Papa comes alongside us to buoy our spirits and make up the difference.

I'm not sure that last statement is even true. He doesn't make up the difference. Somehow He takes our best and improves it, no, transforms it until it is unrecognizable because it is infinitely better than our hands alone could accomplish.

So, Sunday, I feel like I got a good soul scrubbing, which was something I desperately needed. He washed off the self-pity and despair. I walked away smelling a little more like the rose and a little less like the fertilizer, if you know what I mean.

The scripture that has been running rampant through my mind is Isaiah 40:28-31. And I want you to be encouraged by its words as they remind us:

²⁸Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. ²⁹He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. ³⁰Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; ³¹but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strngth; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

I pray that you will share in the renewed strength of our wonderful Father as you face whatever challenges may arise in your journey. And, I pray that you will have His joy to accompany you.

Blessings!

You're Not Alone

2009-01-24T08:34:00.004-06:00

Do you ever turn on the radio and unwittingly hear a song that you just really needed? That happened to me the other day. I was on the way home from my yearly check-up at the doctor's office. I was thinking about how I could have paid several other bills with the $300 I spent on that one office visit. Then it happened.

I just turned on the radio to drown out my thoughts. It was really a bit of a treat to be able to do so because my 3 year old daughter tends to monopolize radio time with her CDs. When I tuned in KSBJ, the next song that came on was "Where Your Heart Belongs" by a group called Mainstay.

This really falls into the "I knew that but really needed to hear it" category. Sometimes we just need to be reminded about certain aspects of our Father's love. So, I thought I'd share it with you today. The slide show on this YouTube posting is less than stellar, but it is the original recording of the song, I believe.

I hope you are as encouraged by it as I was. I think that there are times when we all feel a little alone. But, we never really are alone. I needed that reminder the other day. I had let circumstances discourage me. Thankfully, Papa has promised that He will never leave us or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8) regardless of what our feelings or circumstances may indicate. Take heart, you are not alone.

Blessings!

When Mediocre Isn't Good Enough

2009-01-23T08:09:00.006-06:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, very little writing, but a lot of thinking. What have I been thinking about? Well, I'm glad you've asked. I have been pondering the prevalence of mediocrity in the pursuit of Christ. In some cases, I would even say that mediocre is a generous descriptor.

My question is this: When did "just good enough" begin to pass for "great" in relationship and ministry? How did we come to the point where Facebook (love it as I do) started sufficing for real relationship? Don't get me wrong. I've already checked my FB page this morning, and it's a terrific way to keep in touch with people. I love seeing how people have changed and grown since high school and college. But, really, does sending a little message on Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace accomplish the same thing as a phone call or grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend?

I'm just saying that if my husband and I only ever texted or e-mailed each other or only saw each other on Facebook, we would have a sad relationship if we had any relationship at all. It takes a little more effort than that. Mediocre should not suffice.

The same goes for ministry. I play guitar in our church's worship band. Last Sunday I left service in shame and disgrace at how our Sunday morning worship went. We had a huge train wreck right there on stage for all to see. It hurt my pride, yes, but more than that it disrupted the congregation's ability to enter in to worship. You could feel the congregation inwardly cringe as we struggled to get it together. And, perhaps it is just my view alone, but it seems that we have begun to settle for "good enough" more often than we push for excellence.

I am unashamedly an overachiever. I don't say that to pat myself on the back or in a spirit of braggadocio. I say it in an effort to qualify my remarks and say that despite my propensity for being a perfectionist, that is not what I am advocating here. Simply put, if we don't put the effort in to become proficient with a particular song or to maintain and grow a relationship, the chances of gross failure on an enormous scale loom imminent.

Look, I'm not saying that all of our "train wrecks" in life can be avoided, but doesn't our Father deserve more than our leftovers in life? Shouldn't we be giving Him our very best? It takes work. It isn't always easy, but I have never found it unrewarding.

In my experience, when I get lazy in my relationship with my husband, that's when we drift. We have more nitpicking arguments, and we simply exist. We don't grow together, and we don't move forward. In fact, ofttimes we slip backwards. However, when I make the extra effort to see his side of things, make a special dinner for him, or just tell him how much I love and appreciate him, it makes a world of difference in the climate of our home.

In relationship, in ministry, really, in anything we do, the return we get is in direct proportion to the effort we put forth. Garbage in, garbage out, as the saying goes. If we want to be listed with Daniel (Daniel 5:12, Daniel 6:3), as one with an excellent spirit, it will take a little more than a mediocre effort.

So, Papa has challenged me to give more of myself to Him. I have been lazy in my relationship with Him of late. In my observation of mediocrity elsewhere, He has challenged me to dispense with the pedestrian manner in which I have pursued Him. I find that I have fallen into repetitious prayers and a lackadaisical relationship. I have a tendency to do that when I feel control slipping from my grasp as with our financial struggles.

In any case, I have been reminded once again that He gave up everything for me, and I have no right to withhold my best from Him. I've decided to break free from the insanity. You do know the definition of insanity, don't you? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. OK, so that isn't actually the definition of insanity, but it is true in this case.

I hope that if you too find yourself in the land of the mediocre when it comes to your relationships or ministry, you will join me in aspiring to an excellent spirit.

Blessings!

It's Only Money . . .Right?

2009-01-09T12:49:00.002-06:00

I'm just going to be real with you today. I'm always real, but sometimes we avoid being real when things get us down. Instead we paste a smile on and pretend to feel okay so no one else has to feel uncomfortable in our presence. Well, I'm no good at that. So, like I said I'm just going to be real.

My husband has been out of work for nearly 5 months now. He is substitute teaching when he can get an assignment, but those don't come every day. We've been without insurance for all that time. Fortunately, we are all healthy so it hasn't really presented a major problem until now.

I called to schedule my daughter's 3 year check-up and my annual visit. I deigned to ask what the cost would be for the privilege of seeing these physicians. Turns out, going to the doctor could really cost you an arm and a leg. I guess if you're going to lose an arm or leg, the doctor's office is the best place to be.

Seriously, my daughter's check-up is going to run us $140. They'll weigh and measure her. The doctor will come in for maybe 5 minutes to listen to her heart and lungs. They'll pronounce her perfectly healthy and take my grocery money for the next two weeks.

That isn't even the worst part. My doctor is going to cost twice that amount. I guess that's because he has to spend 10 minutes in the room with me as opposed to the 5 minutes Avari's doctor takes. Oh, and that doesn't include the blood work. That will most likely be another $200 or so. All in all, I'll be spending over $600 on doctor's visits, and we aren't even sick!!!

So, where does that leave me? Trusting God in a huge way. You see, we've already drawn out my retirement fund. We have some money left in our IRAs, but there's nowhere near enough. My husband is doing his best to find a job, but he's having no luck. I'll be honest with you, I'm freaking out here!

I know my Father supplies my needs, but that provision isn't evident in my life right now. Does that mean he isn't supplying? No. It means I can't see it with my eyes. I guess that's what you call faith, right? However, it isn't easy when you have to tell your kid no every time she asks you for something. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing myself say, "maybe when Daddy gets a permanent job" or "Mama's sorry, but we just don't have the money for that right now." And these aren't big requests, they are really small things. It's hard.

Please don't misunderstand me. We are extremely blessed. There are so many others out there who are worse off than we are. But, I have to say that I have come to the conclusion that the only people who say "It's only money" are the ones who have it.

So, I wait. I wait for Dan to get a job. I wait for Papa's provision. And I pray. I pray for His strength. I pray for His peace. And I pray for His grace to see us through as I know He will.

Blessings!

The First Carnival of 2009

2009-01-07T07:48:00.013-06:00

Today I am honored to host Christian Carnival CCLVIII, the inaugural edition of 2009. Let me say that I have been in a contemplative state of mind regarding goals for this new year and this carnival offers some wonderful food for thought. I think I'll dub this the guilt-free, indulgent edition! So, pull up a chair, grab your fork and spoon and prepare to enjoy a feast without all the pesky fat and calories!

Minister Mamie L. Pack ponders the purposes of A Simple Box over at The Life I Now Live. She reminds us that we're so much more than what we may appear to be.

I loved what ChristianPF had to say in 6 reasons to give more in the new year posted at Christian Personal Finance Blog. It's a terrific reminder that even in today's economy there are plenty of reasons to be a giver.

FMF presents Free Money Finance: The Bible on Today's Economic Woes posted at Free Money Finance.

Travis at Your Everyday Christian reminded me that being "in the world" and not "of the world" means continually reaching out to those around me in Jail Time with God and My Cousin.

Vickie Sloderbeck discusses how and why you might want to Establish a Weekly Date Night posted at Joyful Journey Productions.

Over at Heart, Mind, Soul and Strength Weekend Fisher challenges whether "historical grammatical" is really the best way to appreciate the Bible in Handel: Scripture is a symphony.

Richard H. Anderson gives us Outside the camp at dokeo kago grapho soi kratistos Theophilos.

Courtesy of Sidetracked Moms by Vickie Sloderbeck we have Some Ways to Help Eliminate Fighting. I may only have one child now, but I'm definitely tucking these ideas away for later use!

Rich shares his wonderful testimony of Papa's provision in Witness at his blog, Blogger For Christ . com.

Bible SEO walks us through a terrific study on Prepare the Way - Ministry of John the Baptist - Matthew 3:1-12 posted at Bible Study Exposition Online.

Raffi Shahinian educates us a little with Emergent/Missional/Post-Evangelical Definitions for the Layperson posted at parables of a prodigal world. I have to say that my favorite is #3!

Novelette gives us a tremendous example of A life of Service, the story of Father Damien of Molokai posted at Daily Gratia.com.

Vickie Sloderbeck and Faith Janes look at Frivilous Toys for the Sidetracked Mom posted at Sidetracked Moms.

This week at Light Along the Journey, John looks at the faith of the first woman mentioned in the Hebrews hall of faith and how her example applies to every wife (and every believer) in his post The Faith of a Wife: The Three-Fold Example of Sarah. Let me just say that this post is a home run!

Annette at Fish and Cans discusses what happened Today in Church.

As a worshiper and musician I was so excited to read Chris's thoughts in A Cheer For Music In Worship at his blog, Sing Louder Musings.

Jeremy Pierce takes a look at some arguments by Michael Craven on same sex marriage in his post, Michael Craven on Homosexuality and Same-Sex Marriage posted at Parableman.

And last, but I hope not least, (although reading this week's submissions it may be the least) is my post Pray for Me here at Fathom Deep: Sounding the Depths of God.

Well, that wraps up the 258th edition of the Christian Carnival. Man, it's like Christmas dinner all over again. I just finished and I'm already hungry for more. So, don't forget to submit your posts for the 259th edition next week. I can hardly wait!

Pray for Me

2009-01-06T15:41:00.004-06:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted. I had complete and total holiday overload. You see, in addition to Christmas and New Year we celebrated my daughter's 3rd birthday last month. It made for a busy time, but it was all more than worth it. In honor of Avari's birthday, I thought I'd start my first post of the new year with a story that just took place today.

Avari is vivacious. She is full of life and is passionate about everything. Sometimes I would like to deny all culpability, but I'm pretty sure that she got that from me (at least according to everything my dad tells me). All her activity makes for a busy day for me, and I love every minute of it. However, there is a time of day that is held sacred in the Partin household. I like to refer to it as "The Hour of Sanity." It is probably more commonly known as nap time.

This afternoon I put Avari down for her nap, and I proceeded to fold the Mount Everest of laundry atop my bed. I gave her a little while to settle down but continued to hear her in her room as we have yet to dispense with the baby monitor (hey, it comes in handy!). The noises emanating from her room sounded vaguely like those that indicate she is jumping on her bed, so I, fearing a broken bed and having no funds to replace it, went to stop the insanity.

As I rounded the corner into her room, she sat on her knees in the corner of her bed with her head down. I'm pretty certain that's how she landed after the last jump prior to my entry. However, I quickly issued orders for her to lay down and go to sleep. She folded her hands meekly and said, "But, I'm praying for you, Mama." I calmly informed her that she can pray just as easily laying down as kneeling and asked her to do so.

I know, cute, huh? It's also the most devious thing she's done to date. Well, it probably is tied with her shoving her empty fruit bowl off the table this afternoon and claiming it fell off by itself. If she was praying for me, I'm a super model standing tall at 5'11" and weighing 110 lbs. Let me guarantee you that I stand no taller than 5'1", and that's on a good day. We won't even discuss weight this soon after the holidays. In any case, her comment got me thinking.

It really brought up one of those pet peeves we are all so fond of. Well, one of my pet peeves is for someone to express the need for prayer and the respondent says, "I'll be praying about that." I sometimes ponder about the ratio of promised prayer to actual prayer. It's so easy to say you are going to pray about something and not actually pray. Now, we all have good intentions, I'm sure. I've been guilty of pledging to pray only to have it slip my mind.

I've found that there is a very simple solution to this problem though. No, it is not to tie a string around your finger to remind you. Wrong again if you guessed the answer to be leaving a note for yourself. The best way I've found to circumvent my penchant for lack of follow through on prayer is to stop right then and there when the request is made and pray. You don't have to make a big show of it. There's no need for the use of a televangelist voice or any kind of hoopla. Simply offer to pray with them on the spot.

Not only does it let your friend, acquaintance, family member know that you are sincere in your desire to pray, it also means that you won't forget to pray. In my experience, praying immediately also reminds me to pray later.

I know there will always be those times when we cannot stop immediately and pray; however, more often than not, we can. In my own life I know that a prayer now means so much more than 10 promised prayers down the road. It eases my mind and brings me peace to know that my need or concern has been lifted up to Papa by someone who knows and cares enough to take a couple of minutes to pray with me and for me.

So, if you take nothing else away from this I hope it at least reminds you how important our prayers are. Now, I suppose I need to go refold the laundry. Cinderella (a.k.a. Avari), uses her socks for "long, long gloves," which are, of course, the staple of every princess's ensemble. For me it mostly translates to the fact that I have to fold many, many socks each day.

Blessings!

My Great White Whale

2008-12-09T08:25:00.004-06:00

It all started on Sunday. I went to pick Avari up from Sunday school and was handed a piece of paper saying that she was chosen to play a sheep in the Christmas program, which just so happens to be this coming Sunday. This missive went on to explain that they would provide the costumes, but I need to have her dressed in all white. Seems simple enough, right? Wrong, very, very, very wrong (and I really could have added several additional "verys" but I think I've made the point).

Prior to "hitting the bricks" I turned to the web to do a little reconnaissance hoping to thereby limit the amount of actual searching to take place. I figured a few quick keystrokes and a click or two of the mouse would turn up the items I needed. Instead I spent close to 2 hours searching websites. I turned up one or two pair of white sweat pants, but these retailers wanted $15 for the pants and $15 to have them shipped in time to arrive for the play on Sunday. Now, there is no way on earth I'm going to pay $30 for a pair of white sweat pants that will in all likelihood be worn once.

So, instead, I spent the entire morning yesterday driving all over town to find white clothes. Now, the shirt came easily enough, but no one had white pants, tights, leggings. I frequented all the usual suspects, Walmart, Target, Penney's, Kohl's. I ended up driving to Pasadena (about 30 minutes from Baytown) to The Children's Place. Fortunately for me, they had just put out some new stock, which just so happened to include some really adorable white leggings. Needless to say, 4 hours and one grande peppermint mocha twist later, I had Avari's clothes. The best part was these uber-cute clothes were far superior to the over-priced sweats and less expensive, to boot.

Now, why would you care about my hunt for the great white whale, I mean, pants? You probably don't, but I had a lot of time to think yesterday while I was traipsing from store to store (thanks to my amazing mother-in-law who watched Avari for me). I ran into all sorts of people. I smiled a lot. I held a few doors open for harried mothers and the like. I wished Merry Christmas (not Happy Holidays) to everyone with whom I spoke. It was just refreshing to be out amongst people that I didn't know and sense my Father's love for them.

I also considered how much trouble I was going to in order to locate this rare commodity which is the white pant in winter. I wondered how that extensive effort would pay off if spent on other areas of my life. Sometimes I tend to get tunnel-vision about certain things and everything else gets a little neglected. Maybe I'm the Lone Ranger on that front, but somehow I think that most likely isn't the case.

My final realization of the day came from just having a little alone time in the car with a good CD and a long stretch of Fairmont Parkway. What was this earth-shattering revelation? Well, OK, you got me. It wasn't earth-shattering; it was probably obvious enough. Sometimes I just do not listen. Papa is speaking to me, but I don't hear. Oh, I pick up bits and pieces of the conversation, but operating that way causes me to have to make guesses about His true designs. It's sort of like me trying to follow a conversation in Spanish. I can pick up a word or two here and there, but I tend to get lost somewhere around the 15 second mark because I'm trying to piece things together in my head. I know enough Spanish to probably get me into trouble.

OK, this is the grand finale. Are you ready? Are you sure? Here it is: yesterday, I was reminded that I don't spend enough time and energy loving God and loving others (insert gasp here). Amazing how it so often comes back to His two great commands in Matthew 22:36-40, isn't it?

Looking on the bright side, gas is cheap, so these lessons weren't as costly as they might have been at $3.50/gallon. And, as a bonus, Avari got a couple of inexpensive, but adorable, outfits to enjoy. Isn't Papa just amazing?

A Sigh of Relief

2008-12-07T18:46:00.003-06:00

It has been (almost) 3 long months since Hurricane Ike hit Baytown. We, along with many of our friends and family, have been waiting for insurance settlements, contractors, and manna from heaven to recover to our previous state of being.

This weekend we took the first step toward having our house repaired. One of the many contractors we contacted came out to inspect, so we can get an estimate for our repairs. They are going to work up the estimate and submit it to Allstate, our insurance company. According to the contractor, Allstate has been one of the worst companies to deal with through this disaster.

The guys who came out were very friendly, and don't underestimate the value of friendliness when people have been waiting this long. After being strung along by insurance companies, the government, etc., a friendly contractor is a breath of long-awaited fresh air. The gentleman we talked to is a Jesus-lover from Alabama who is working for a local contractor here in Baytown. I know that we are all in different places in our journey with Christ, but it does make me feel a little more at ease to hear the guy responsible for repairing my home say, "We are all about taking care of people, and the Lord has rewarded us for that."

You know, it's really the small victories that make an immense difference sometimes. When things are bleak, and they have been bleak for us in more than one way recently, a little reassurance goes a long way. We at least feel like we are making headway, slow though it may be.

We are trusting that God will reward our patience (forced as it has been). We are believing that our house will be restored to its former state, and He will provide all we have need of - not only in this instance but in all.

All I want for Christmas is a roof that doesn't inspire references to Swiss cheese and spirituality (it is holey ;)!

Blessings!

Look, I'm Just Like You!

2008-12-06T11:00:00.000-06:00

I was working feverishly in my kitchen yesterday morning. I was trying to prove to myself that I can save a little money by baking and decorating a Tinkerbell cake for Avari's birthday party next weekend. I was doing a practice run and was pretty much in the "what have I gotten myself into" frame of mind when Avari walked up behind me.

Now, I was wearing my really loud, candy-cane-striped pajamas from last Christmas. Avari looked at me and said, "I want to look like you Mama. Can I wear my stripedy jammies?" I kind of brushed her off saying something like "in a minute, sweetie, Mommy's busy."

It wasn't long before I turned around to see her standing in her red and white striped pajama pants (She's really into changing her own clothes now.). Something looked just a little off though. I knelt down to inspect and asked, "Did you take off your other pants before you put on the new ones?" Of course, her answer was no. I was elbow deep in icing, so I told her to take off both pairs of pants and then put the striped ones back on.

Five minutes later my little angel showed up at my knee - no shirt, no pants. I washed my hands and helped Avari put on her "stripedy jammies." She looked up at me and said, "Mama, we match now. I'm just like you!" Of course, my heart melted and I hugged her tight.

After she went off to play, I heard that familiar still, small voice speak to my heart, "That is exactly what my children do." Immediately, I knew what Papa meant. Avari, in her hurry to be like me had failed to remove her current garment in order to don the new one.

Sometimes, we are in such a hurry to appear righteous that we "fake it until we make it." I've heard that phrase over and over again. I suppose there may be some merit in it, except that we are told in I Samuel 16:7 that God looks on the heart - man is the one concerned with the outward appearance. That means that Papa is more interested in what is going on under the surface than the "face" we are showing the world.

To me it feels a lot like trying to "pull one over" on God. Let's be real; we cannot hide, trick or otherwise bamboozle our omnipotent Father. Instead, we should attempt to remove the old garment of self to put on His righteousness. After all, the Bible tells us very clearly (and I like the KJV for this quote) that "all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags." (Isaiah 64:6) I'm not saying you have to get it all right the first time or that we will never sin again. I suppose what I am getting at is that we are supposed to be trading in the old for the new not trying to cover up the old with the new while still hanging on to the old for good measure. I don't know about you, but I am not a couch that needs a slipcover. I need to be stripped down and remade anew.

I'm really frustrated by those who would rather put on a false front than live a real, tangible life full of ups and downs, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. Seriously, if something is bothering me, I have no desire or ability to hide it - it is usually written plainly for all to see. Of course, the same goes for when I'm ecstatically happy. I'm pretty much an open book. If you want to know something, ask me. I'll be happy to answer you honestly.
Ephesians 4:20-24 says it better than I can:

²⁰But that is not the way you learned Christ!- ²¹assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, ²²to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, ²³and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, ²⁴and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Last time I checked Jesus walked on water, but I don't. I wish we could all live with that realization. So, Jesus-lovers, let's do ourselves and everyone else a favor. We need to quit walking around pretending that we are perfect. If we want to look like Papa, we need to let Him strip us of the old so we can don the new. Don't wear your stripedy pants on top of the other ones - it gets bulky and uncomfortable!

Blessings!

Electric Blankets vs. Cabbage Patch Dolls

2008-12-05T11:00:00.003-06:00

After I finished sharing the story of the $5 bill and the tin foil, I could not resist sharing another story about a disappointing Christmas gift. Don't worry, my friend, I think you will find this one rather amusing.

I couldn't swear to how old I was when this happened. It seems like I was 11 years old. I was probably too old to still be interested in dolls, but I was caught up in the Cabbage Patch Doll frenzy. Thus, we arrive at Christmas.

I had been asking for a Cabbage Patch doll for what seemed like forever. I'm certain it felt like forever to my parents. You know how it is - the repeated request for a specific toy, grating on your nerves until you are ready to drop the kid off at Grandma's until Valentine's day just to escape the repetition.

We were past believing in Santa Claus, so the gifts showed up under the tree fairly early in the season. We always put the tree up the day after Thanksgiving, so there was a lot of time to wonder about what was in those brightly wrapped packages. We weren't allowed to touch or move them, but that never slowed the speculation about the contents based on shape and size.

It just so happened that two packages approximately the size of a Cabbage Patch Doll box appeared under our tree a week or two before Christmas. My sister (who is a mere 22 months younger than I) joined me in the rampant conjecture regarding the contents of those suspiciously sized packages. By the time Christmas morning had arrived we had come to the conclusion that those boxes contained our brand new babies, adopted by us with real certificates and all. The only things we weren't sure of were the eye and hair color.

We bolted to the tree on Christmas morning. Mom and Dad kept pushing aside the two packages of interest. They were to be opened last, which only cemented our earlier hypothesis. We tore through the other gifts while our anticipation ate at us like a cancer. Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. One package was placed in front of my sister and the other in front of me. We tore into them like we were parched in a desert and those carefully wrapped gifts contained the water that would keep us alive.

My first clue that something was amiss was the fact that the gift was not hard like a box - it was soft and squishy. I continued to tear the paper, ignoring my misgivings. After completely unwrapping my long-awaited gift, I found not the doll I had dreamed of for weeks. Instead, there was an electric blanket. Yes, you read that right. The gift my parents were so proud of as to save it for last was an electric heating blanket.

Now, let me give you a little background after the fact. We lived in a trailer, which held heat like a bucket full of holes holds water. Our room was all windows on one side. We were constantly piling more covers on our beds to stay warm (even in Southeast Texas, which is not known for its cold temperatures). That is to say, we needed those blankets.

I was extremely disappointed (to put it mildly) when I opened that blanket. I thought it had to be the cruelest joke ever played on a kid. I think I made a good faith effort to hide my disappointment, but I'm sure I did a poor job of it. I feel ashamed now for my reaction. We did get our dolls, but it happened 6 or 8 months later on our birthdays.

OK, now that you've had a good laugh at my expense - or the expense of my 11 year-old self - I'll explain the reason for my posting this. Yes, there is a reason.

I learned a lesson from that morning. As the temperatures dropped that January and February, I realized that I really needed that electric blanket. While I would have enjoyed cuddling that doll, she certainly wouldn't have kept me warm in 20 or 30 degree weather. Sometimes, we receive gifts that we need rather than what we want.

It's really that way with our Father too. So often I think I know what I need and want. Then I open up what He has prepared only to find exactly the opposite. At the time, I often struggle to reconcile the two. However, hindsight is 20/20. Usually, I discover not too far in the future that He had given me the exact tools that I needed to deal with a situation that I never could have anticipated.

So, this Christmas, when you open up those tube socks from Grandma for the 7th year in a row, remember, you may not think they are such a great gift until you open your drawer 2 months later to find that moths have eaten all of your other socks. Then Grandma's gift will be looking pretty good!

Blessings!