FBC 78:4

How to Treat Your Children so That They Have Good and Right Thoughts about God

2010-03-12T07:48:00.000-08:00

Justin Taylor at Between Two Worlds points out wise advice from C.J. Mahaney on how to parent in a way that shows the gospel to his children

•You have the privilege of introducing them to God the Father and describing the ways in which he is different from you, different from all sinful fathers, and how in any way you are like him it’s only because of grace that you reflect him. See Luke 11:11–13.

•Your honest confession of your sin to your children will protect them from having hard thoughts about you or God.

•Communicating your affection for them—and joy when you are with them—promotes both good and accurate thoughts about God.

•Initiate time with them at both planned and spontaneous times. Don’t leave them with the impression that they get most of your attention when they disobey. Let them know you are so grateful for them and love being with them as much as possible.

•Bless your children with many gifts in many forms! See Luke 11 again. Study your children in order to discern what gifts would genuinely bless them and then purpose to surprise them as often as possible.

•Requiring appropriate obedience does not promote hard thoughts about God. This only happens when we do so in self-righteousness or anger. See point 2 again.

•Frequently preach the gospel to them (and not at them). Reveal to your children just how far God has gone to show his love for sinners like us.
See the whole post for a link to his two-part sermon on Jude where he touches on this theme.

You can see the whole post at the Sovereign Grace Blog

Young Men Dissapearing From College Campuses

2010-02-10T09:47:00.000-08:00

An alarming trend has been growing on college campuses. Women are outnumbering men,some estimates are that 60% of undergraduate students are women. This should cause us to ask more than a few questions. First, is this significant, should we care if our young men are not seeking higher education? Second, why are our young men not going to college? Third, what will be the long term significance of this growing trend? Of course there are no easy answers to any of these questions. However, what is clear is that there is a pervasive growing trend across our society where young men are simply not engaging.

Albert Mohler writes insightfully on this subject here, following are highlights from his article:

"Biblical manhood requires that young men grow up, assume adult responsibilities, and prepare for leadership and service in the home, in the church, and in the larger society.

This much is clear -- if this trend is not reversed, the college campus will not be the only place these young men are found missing."

"The numbers point to the problem, but do not explain it. Explanations for the phenomenon of missing young men point to the fact that girls outperform boys at every level in grades K-12, and are thus more ready for the college experience than the boys"

"Christian parents and all concerned with the coming generation should look closely at this phenomenon and ask the hard question -- why is it that so many young men are falling behind in educational attainment? What are we doing that allows or encourages boys to exit formal education at their earliest opportunity? Why do we accept at face value the fact that boys fall behind girls of the same age in maturity and educational level? Why is college now an aspiration for far more young women than young men?

These are hard questions, but the answers will be even harder. We have allowed the development of an elongated boyhood and delayed adulthood. We frustrate them in school and then wonder why they bolt at the first exit from the classroom. We allow boys and young men to forfeit their futures."

Totally like whatever, you know?

2010-01-21T12:08:00.000-08:00

Here is a poem by slam poet Tayler Mali. While humerous the poem speaks to a real problem of one generation's inability to commuicate with definite clarity. God has revealed himself through words and Christianity is communicated through clear verbal and written communication. Heresy is not the only way we can loose the gospel. The gospel can just as easily be lost by losing the medium it is communicated through.

Part of our being created in the image of God is our ability to use language to communicate. God used words to speak the world into being and God used words to reveal himself to us and John opens up his gospel by revealing Christ as the Word (John 1:1). We need to help our teens speak and communicate with clarity and force because the message of the gospel must be communicated with clarity and force.

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

“Like the Air They Breathe” — The Online Life of Kids

2010-01-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

The fact that children and teenagers now spend a good deal of their lives connected to electronic devices is hardly news. We are now accustomed to the knowledge that teenagers are seldom seen without wires in their ears and a cell phone in their hand as they multitask their way through adolescence. Now, however, there is good reason to believe that these young people are far more connected than we have even imagined.

The Kaiser Family Foundation has just released a new study on the online lives of children and teenagers, and the statistics are simply astounding. America's children and teenagers are now spending an average of more than 7 1/2 hours a day involved in electronic media.

As the report states:

As anyone who knows a teen or tween can attest, media are among the most powerful forces in young people's lives today. Eight-to-eighteen-year-olds spend more time with media than in any other activity besides (maybe) sleeping -- an average of more than 7 1/2 hours a day, seven days a week. The TV shows they watch, video games they play, songs they listen to, books they read and websites they visit are an enormous part of their lives, offering a constant stream of messages about families, peers, relationships, gender roles, sex, violence, food, values, clothes, an abundance of other topics too long to list.

Online, All the Time

The report is the third conducted and released by the Kaiser Family Foundation. Just five years ago, the foundation released a second study that indicated young Americans were spending an average of nearly 6 1/2 hours a day with media. Now, young people have found a way to devote another hour to media use, catching the researchers by surprise. As Donald F. Roberts, a professor emeritus of communications at Stanford University, remarked: "This is a stunner." He told The New York Times, "In the second report, I remember writing a paragraph saying we've hit a ceiling on media use, since there just aren't enough hours in the day to increase the time children spend on media. But now it's up an hour."

And it's not just that these kids are devoting 7 1/2 hours of their daily lives to media immersion -- their multitasking means that they somehow consume nearly 11 hours of media content in that 7 1/2 hours of time. Over the last ten years, young people have increased their consumption and use of every type of media with one exception -- reading. As the researchers make clear, the vast increase in the amount of time teenagers are able to access the media is due almost entirely to the fact that their mobile phones allow an online life that can be carried in the pocket (and in far too many cases, taken to bed). "The mobile and online media revolutions have arrived in the lives -- and the pockets -- of American youth," notes the report. "Try waking a teenager in the morning, and the odds are good you'll find a cell phone tucked under their pillow -- the last thing they touch before falling asleep and the first thing they reach for upon waking."

The report indicates that 66 percent of kids now own their own cell phone, while 76 percent own an iPod or other MP3 player. Interestingly, these kids are using cell phones as mobile media devices, rather than as telephones. Young people spend an average of only a half hour each day talking on their cell phones, but their use of these devices for the consumption of media consumes far more time.

The report also offers a portrait of the media-saturated character of the average American home. That home now contains an average of 3.8 televisions, 2.8 DVD or VCR players, at least one digital video recorder, two computers, 2.3 console video game players, and assorted other media devices ranging from CD players to radios. In an amazing percentage of these homes, the television is on virtually every waking hour.

Media in the Bedroom

Even as the family home is populated with various media devices, the bedrooms of America's children and teenagers are virtually saturated with media. "More and more media are migrating to young people's bedrooms, enabling them to spend even more time watching, listening or playing," the researchers report. An amazing 71% of all children from age 8-18 have their own television in their bedroom, and half have a video game player and/or access to cable. These kids have computers, too. Almost a third own their own laptops and the majority have easy access to a computer, usually with broadband Internet connections.

In most homes, parents are setting few rules for media use -- or no rules at all. The majority of teens and tweens reported that their parents have set no rules about the type of media content they can use or the amount of time they can devote to media consumption. When parents do set rules, they are far more likely to set rules about the type of content that can be accessed, rather than the amount of time that is devoted to media use. A good percentage of parents who do set rules, often leave them unenforced.

Parents should note this statement from the report: "Children who live in homes that limit media opportunities spend less time with media. For example, kids whose parents don't put a TV in their bedroom, don't leave the TV on during meals or in the background when no one is watching, or do impose some type of media-related rules spend substantially less time with media than do children with more media-lenient parents."

Media Use, Grades, and Personal Contentment

Another important section of the report indicates that the young people who spend the greatest amount of time with media report lower grades and lower levels of personal happiness and contentment. The researchers stated that their study "cannot establish whether there is a cause and effect relationship between media use and grades, or between media use and personal contentment." They added: "And if there are such relationships, they could well run in both directions simultaneously."

All this should serve to awaken America's parents -- and all who care for America's young people -- to the level of media saturation that now characterizes the lives of American youth. As The New York Times declared in its headline, "If Your Kids are Awake, They're Probably Online."

There is no turning back from the digital revolution. It is not realistic for most families to declare a principled disconnection from electronic media and the digital world. Nevertheless, this important report serves as an undeniable warning that America's young people are literally drowning in an ocean of media consumption. There is every reason for parents to be concerned about dangers ranging from the content of this media, to the way digital saturation changes the wiring of the brain, to the loss of literacy and the reading of books, to the fact that many teenagers are far more connected to their friends through social media than to their own families in their own homes. Teenagers are forfeiting sleep and other important investments of time because they experience panic when they are digitally disengaged for even a few moments.

What is the impact of all this media saturation on the soul? Of course, that is a question that must be posed to America's adults, as well as to our children and adolescents. At the same time, parents bear a responsibility many are clearly forfeiting.

The Courage to Disconnect

Dr. Michael Rich, a pediatrician at Children's Hospital Boston and director of the Center on Media and Child Health, told The New York Times that the media use of America's young people is so pervasive, it is time to stop arguing over whether this is positive or negative. Instead, he suggested that we should simply accept media as a constant part of children's environment, "like the air they breathe, the water they drink and the food they eat."

This is advice Christian parents cannot follow. We cannot simply accept that constant media saturation is now a fact of nature and a matter of constant need. These technologies and devices have their places, but the role of parents is to establish rules that protect children and teenagers from being dominated by technology and an army of digital devices. At the end of the day, parents must find the courage and wisdom to know when to disconnect.

Posted: Thursday, January 21, 2010 at 6:10 am ET at www.albertmohler.com

I am always glad to hear from readers and listeners. Write me at mail@albertmohler.com. Follow regular updates on Twitter at www.twitter.com/AlbertMohler.

Help for Parents to Discuss Spiritual Things at Christmas

2009-12-21T10:05:00.000-08:00

Christmas is a great time for parents to have extended times of conversation with their teens. Donald Whitney has put together a useful tool to direct conversations at any Christmas gathering. I would encourage parents to use this with their families as a way to focus our attention on Christ.

Ten Questions to Ask at a Christmas Gathering

Many of us struggle to make conversation at Christmas gatherings, whether church events, work-related parties, neighborhood drop-ins, or annual family occasions. Sometimes our difficulty lies in having to chat with people we rarely see or have never met. At other times we simply don't know what to say to those with whom we feel little in common. Moreover, as Christians we want to take advantage of the special opportunities provided by the Christmas season to share our faith, but are often unsure how to begin. Here's a list of questions designed not only to kindle a conversation in almost any Christmas situation, but also to take the dialogue gradually to a deeper level. Use them in a private conversation or as a group exercise, with believers or unbelievers, with strangers or with family.

1. What's the best thing that's happened to you since last Christmas?
2. What was your best Christmas ever? Why?
3. What's the most meaningful Christmas gift you've ever received?
4. What was the most appreciated Christmas gift you've ever given?
5. What was your favorite Christmas tradition as a child?
6. What is your favorite Christmas tradition now?
7. What do you do to try to keep Christ in Christmas?
8. Why do you think people started celebrating the birth of Jesus?
9. Do you think the birth of Jesus deserves such a nearly worldwide celebration? 10. Why do you think Jesus came to earth?

Of course, remember to pray before your Christmas gatherings. Ask the Lord to grant you "divine appointments," to guide your conversations, and to open doors for the gospel. May He use you to bring glory to Christ this Christmas.

Copyright © 2003 Donald S. Whitney.

Copyright Disclaimer: All the information contained on the Center for Biblical Spirituality website is copyrighted by Donald S. Whitney. Permission granted to copy this material in its complete text only for not-for-profit use (sharing with a friend, church, school, Bible study, etc.) and including all copyright information. No portion of this website may be sold, distributed, published, edited, altered, changed, broadcast, or commercially exploited without the prior written permission from Donald S. Whitney.

For more short, reproducible pieces like this, see www.BiblicalSpirituality.org

Special Speaker on Sunday

2009-12-14T20:27:00.000-08:00

Parents

On Sunday, December 20th after the worship service during Adult Bible Communities the youth ministry will have a special speaker:Sam Burba. Sam is going to share about his drug abuse and how it was the power of the gospel which finally freed him from his addiction. We are delighted to have Sam encourage us in the gospel. Sam has spoken to several thousand teens sharing his story and the gospel in public schools throughout Phoenix, Arizona.

We not only want our teens to hear Sam and his story, we also want all parents of teens to come as well. This will be a tremendous opportunity for parents to use Sam's testimony as a platform to speak with their teens about drug abuse and any other addictive behavior (video games, TV, sex, pornography) and how the power of the gospel can break the power of sin. Please join us as we will have good food and good coffee and most important we will all be encouraged in the gospel of Christ.

Denver Post Reports on Sexting

2009-12-10T07:45:00.000-08:00

Here is an article which showed up in last week's Denver Post. In the article a teen who has been involved in sexting is interviewed his response is astounding, "I just don't see it as that big of a problem, personally."
Parents should read and be aware.

Sexting Among Young People More Common Than You Might Think

Written by Libby Quaid

WASHINGTON — Think your kid isn't "sexting"? Think again.

Sexting — sharing sexually explicit photos, videos and chat by cellphone or online — is fairly commonplace among young people, despite sometimes grim consequences for those who do it. More than a quarter of young people have been involved in sexting in some form, an Associated Press-MTV poll found.

That includes Sammy, a 16-year-old from the San Francisco Bay Area who asked that his last name not be used.

Sammy said he had shared naked pictures of himself with girlfriends. He also shared naked pictures of someone else that a friend had sent him.

What he didn't realize at the time was that young people across the country — in Florida, Indiana, Ohio and Pennsylvania — have faced charges, in some cases felony charges, for sending nude pictures.

"That's why I probably wouldn't do it again," Sammy said. "(But) I just don't see it as that big of a problem, personally."

That was the view of nearly half of those surveyed who have been involved in sexting. The other half said it's a serious problem — and did it anyway. Knowing there might be consequences hasn't stopped them.

"There's definitely the invincibility factor that young people feel," said Kathleen Bogle, a sociology professor at La Salle University in Philadelphia and author of the book "Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus." "That's part of the reason why they have a high rate of car accidents and things like that, is they think, 'Oh, well, that will never happen to me.' "

Sexting doesn't stop with teenagers.

Young adults are even more likely to have sexted; a third of them said they had been involved in sexting, compared with about a fourth of teenagers.

Those who sent nude pictures of themselves mostly said they went to a boyfriend, girlfriend or romantic interest.

But 14 percent said they suspect the pictures were shared without permission, and they may be right: Seventeen percent of those who received naked pictures said they passed them along to someone else, often to more than just one person.

Criminal charges aren't the worst consequences of sexting. In at least two cases, sexting has been linked to suicide. Last year in Cincinnati, 18-year-old Jessica Logan hanged herself after weeks of ridicule at school; she had sent a nude cellphone picture to her boyfriend, and after they broke up, he forwarded the picture to other girls.

And three months ago, 13-year-old Hope Witsell hanged herself after relentless taunting at her school near Tampa, Fla. She had sent a nude photo of herself to a boy she liked, and another girl used his phone to send the picture to other students who forwarded it along.

Other teenage suicides have been linked to online bullying, also a subject of the AP-MTV poll. Half of all young people said they have been targets of digital bullying.

The poll, conducted Sept. 11-22, involved online interviews with 1,247 teenagers and adults ages 14-24. It has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus 2.8 percentage points.

The Associated Press
Posted: 12/04/2009 01:00:00 AM MST

Does God Care How we Parent?

2009-12-04T07:24:00.000-08:00

All parents have a particular style or principles by which they parent. Yet how many of us have considered what God says about parenting. In this sermon Randy Stinson gives us a basic overview of what a Biblical understanding of parenting might look like. Dr. Randy Stinson is the Dean of the School of Church ministries at SBTS and Randy also serves as president for the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. (Once you press play the video quality is very good)

Part 2

Modesty Pushing Back Against A Sexually Charged Culture

2009-11-30T09:51:00.000-08:00

From Denny Burk's Blog

Nightline ran a story last week called “Girls Gone Mild” about a program called “Pure Fashion” that encourages young girls to dress modestly.
You can watch the video here or read the text version here.

If parents raise their children according to the Bible, does God promise to bring them to know him?

2009-11-19T07:39:00.000-08:00

The Desiring God website has a useful section, Ask Pastor John, where John Piper answers many questions. Piper's answers are always grounded in the Scriptures, thoughtful and stimulating even if you disagree with his answer. I think this is a great resource for parents many of the answers are in a video format and are about 3 to 4 minutes in length. In this video Piper answers a question that is on every Christian parent's mind.

How well does your teen know the gospel?

2009-11-16T20:23:00.001-08:00

When was the last time you and your teen discussed the gospel? Can your teen explain the gospel to you in a minute? Better yet, can you explain the gospel to your teen in a minute?

By asking your teen to explain the gospel to you in a minute or less you may open up a great conversation with them about Christ's work. Futher, we all need to be ready to give a reason for the hope in us (1 Peter 3:15).

Just to help get the ball rolling here is a great definition of the gospel from
Together for the Gospel

The Gospel is the joyous declaration that God is redeeming the world through Christ (Matt 1:21; Luke 1:68; Eph 1:7; Col 1:20), and that he calls everyone everywhere to repent from sin and trust Jesus Christ for salvation (Mark 1:15; Acts 2:38; 17:30).

Each of us has sinned against God (Rom 3:23), breaking his law and rebelling against his rule, and the penalty for our sin is death and hell (Rom 6:23). But because he loves us, God sent his Son Jesus (John 3:16; Eph 2:4; 1 John 4:10) to live for his people’s sake the perfect, obedient life God requires (Rom 8:4; 1 Cor 1:30; Heb 4:15) and to die in their place for their sin (Isa 53:5; Mat 20:28; 26:28; Mark 10:45; 14:24; Luke 22:20; John 11:50-51; Rom 3:24-25; 4:25; 1 Cor 15:3; 2 Cor 5:21; Eph 5:2; Heb 10:14; 1 Pet 3:18). On the third day, He rose bodily from the grave (Mat 28:6) and now reigns in heaven (Luke 22:69; 24:51; Heb 8:1), offering forgiveness (Eph 1:7), righteousness (Rom 5:19), resurrection (Rom 8:11), and eternal blessedness in God’s presence (Rev 22:4) to everyone who repents of sin and trusts solely in Him for salvation.

Gender bending and blending.

2009-11-12T11:35:00.000-08:00

Albert Mohler has an insightful commentary at his blog today regarding boys wearing skirts to school.

Perhaps the greatest challenge this generation of high school students will face centers around the definition of gender. How will they answer the question, what makes a man a man and what makes a woman a woman? The lines between genders is no longer just bending what we see now in the culture is that the two genders are blended together. Culture is working towards one gender. This of course is the work of the prince of the power of the air. In the creation account we see God creating two wonderful and complementary genders. The new gender blending is just one more way the world seeks to destroy the beauty of God's creation.

This is an important issue for parents to discuss with their teen.

I would encourage all parents to read Dr. Mohler's post and then use dinnertime as a time to discuss gender what they see at school and how they are thinking about gender.

How can God be loving and yet send people to Hell?

2009-11-10T12:09:00.000-08:00

If your students are understanding who God is this should be a question on their minds. I would encourage all our parents to watch this short clip and then discuss it with their Teen during your family devotions.

The speaker D. A. Carson is certainly one of the most brilliant New Testament scholars of the last 100 years.

How can God be loving yet send people to hell? from A Passion for Life on Vimeo.

The Hypersocialized Generation

2009-11-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

http://www.albermohler.com/
Posted: Friday, November 06, 2009 at 2:08 pm ET

Jeffery Zaslow of The Wall Street Journal opens his article with the story of a 17-year-old boy sent to the vice principal's office after being caught sending text messages in class. The vice principal, Steve Gallagher, told the boy to pay attention to the teacher, not to his cellphone. Even as the boy nodded politely, Gallagher noticed something amiss -- the boy was texting about his discipline for being caught texting.

"It was a subconscious act," said Gallagher. "Young people today are connected socially from the moment they open their eyes in the morning until they close their eyes at night. It's compulsive."

Zaslow calls the lifestyle of these young people "hypersocializing." As he observes:

Because so many people in their teens and early 20s are in this constant whir of socializing—accessible to each other every minute of the day via cellphone, instant messaging and social-networking Web sites—there are a host of new questions that need to be addressed in schools, in the workplace and at home. Chief among them: How much work can "hyper-socializing" students or employees really accomplish if they are holding multiple conversations with friends via text-messaging, or are obsessively checking Facebook?

There is an argument to be noticed here. Some assert that this generation of teens and twenty-somethings has developed an invaluable ability to multitask, to frame arguments with few words, and to stay constantly connected. Some, like Ben Bajarin of Creative Strategies, go so far as to argue that these young people are so skilled at "multimedia socializing" that their social skills are superior to previous generations, rightly understood.

Others, noting the time spent obsessively checking digital devices, see a loss of community, a fog of constant chatter, and, for both employers and educators, a massive volume of lost time. As P. M. Forni at Johns Hopkins University observes, "There is a lot of communication going on that is futile and trivial."

Consider what this means for educators:

Educators are also being asked by parents, students and educational strategists to reconsider their rules. In past generations, students got in trouble for passing notes in class. Now students are adept at texting with their phones still in their pockets, says 40-year-old Mr. Gallagher, the vice principal, "and they're able to communicate with someone one floor down and three rows over. Students are just fundamentally different today. They will take suspensions rather than give up their phones."

As Gallagher concludes, asking students to separate themselves from social media for the school day seems futile. "It's like talking to kids about why they don't need air."

Jeffery Zaslow's article, published in the invaluable "Personal Journal" section of The Wall Street Journal, is directed mainly to the business community, where executives are hard pressed to know how much they should (or even can) restrict social networking among younger employees. But the issues he addresses go far beyond the business context. His article should be read by parents, pastors, teachers, and anyone who cares about the minds and souls of young people.

One thing is clear -- Zaslow is not exaggerating. Almost every parent of a teenager or twenty-something will recognize the truth of his diagnosis of "hypersocializing" among the young. If anything, the issues range beyond the concerns he identifies. Business executives are concerned about the financial costs and economic impact. Educators are rightly concerned about distractions from the learning process. But what does this hypersocializing do to the souls of young people?

As prophets of technological pessimism from Jacques Ellul to Neil Postman have reminded us, every technology comes with an effect on the soul. How does this digital revolution effect the souls of young people who quite literally sleep with cellphones on the pillow, lest they miss a text message in the night? What space is left for the development of flesh-and-blood friendships? How are they related to people who do not have access to text messages? Is their communicative ability now limited to 140 characters in a burst?

Among young Christians, what space is left for the development of a devotional life? Do their lives contain any space for extended quiet and reflection, for prayer, or for reading anything longer than a text message?

This is precisely where evangelical Christians need to invest serious thought and reflection. We should all be concerned when Steve Gallagher laments that these young people think they need constant access to social media the way they need oxygen for breathing.

Then again, maybe the real problem is much worse than Zaslow and Gallagher acknowledge. Is this phenomenon limited to the "hypersocialized" young? In the spirit of personal confession I must admit that I turn on my iPhone the moment the plane hits the tarmac on landing. I feel irresponsible if I do not post regular Twitter updates and check email and messages constantly. Colleagues, friends, and constituents expect "hypersocializing," and they now range across the age spectrum.

There is no going back -- at least not in terms of retreat. The social universe is a fact of life, and a missiological challenge for the Christian church. We are all Facebookers now.

The hypersocialized generation of teenagers and young adults needs to learn limits. Parents must provide those limits for their children and encourage them in older offspring. Educators and executives cannot ignore the challenge, but there is as yet no mechanism for determining proper balance in a world growing more hypersocialized by the day.

We are all looking for someone to figure this out and find the responsible boundaries. When this happens, let's hope they send a text message to the rest of us.

_____________________________

Jeffery Zaslow, "The Greatest Generation (of Networkers)," The Wall Street Journal, Wednesday, November 4, 2009.

Youth Group Cancelled

2009-10-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

Youth Group is cancelled October 28th 2009 due to the weather

Stay at home and read your Bibles and think about how Christ has cleansed us whiter than snow.

Phill

Mohler on Parents Obey Your Children

2009-10-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

Albert Mohler one of the most insightful cultural commentators of our day posted an article today titled, "Parents Obey Your Children." In his article Mohler notes the monumental shift in how both children and parents understand the parental role in curbing and disciplining a child's behavior.

From the article

"As Zalewski argues, today's young parents "learn that there are many things they must never do to their willful young child: spank, scold, bestow frequent praise, criticize, plead, withhold affection, take away toys, 'model' angry emotions, intimidate, bargain, nag. In other words, nearly all forms of discipline appear morally suspect."
Modern "experts" like Alfie Kohn now go so far as to argue that rewarding children for good behavior is virtually as injurious to the child as punishing children for negative behavior. Arguing against what he calls "conditional parenting," Kohn came out against everything from the "time out" to positive reinforcement."

Parents should read Mohlers article and be aware that cultural assumptions concerning parenting are in direct opposition to God's revealed will for parents (see Prov 13:24). This is just one more way that Satan and this present evil age are waging war against the Kingdom of Christ.

How to be a Good Husband

2009-10-12T08:13:00.000-07:00

Many of may not know but I spent several years of my undergraduate degree as a trumpet major. While studying music I discovered the power of music to inspire. So I would encourage all husbands to allow this video to inspire you.

Graphes Theles Is Calling All Women and Girls!

2009-10-07T15:59:00.000-07:00

Single Women, Married Women,

Young Women, Empty Nesters,

Mothers of sons, Grandmothers,

Daughters, Sisters,

Mothers of girls,Teenagers, GIRLS, ……….

If you fit into any of the above categories,

You should join us for the Graphe Thelus on

Saturday, October 10th at 11:30 am in the chapel!!!!!!!

$2.00 FOR WOMEN AND $1.00 FOR GIRLS

CALL THE CHURCH OFFICE!
303-841-2273

1 Peter 3:3-4 “Do not let your adorning be external –the

Braiding of hair and putting on of gold jewelry, or the

Clothing that you wear- but let your adorning be the

Hidden person of the heart with the imperishable

Beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit, which in GodsSight is very precious.”

Men's Conference

2009-09-28T10:27:00.000-07:00

Just a quick glance at most TV sitcoms and we learn that men are buffoons. They cannot be trusted with the smallest tasks because they will inevitably mess it up creating a circus of the situation. However, what is most damaging about this message is no the message itself, rather the hopelessness of it. The real message being sent is that it's okay for a man to be a buffoon; he can't help it.

Brothers, you and I were created in the image of God as leaders. It is time for the men of the church to wage war against the world by embracing God's excellent design for us.

Join us this weekend, October 2-3 at Faith Baptist Church as we hear from Dr. Randy Stinson as he shares his passion to call men to embrace God's design for biblical manhood.

Conference is $45.00 and $60.00 for a father and son to attend together and $20.00 for each additional son. *Scholarships are available* Cost includes breakfast and lunch Saturday plus a book.

Call the church office if you would like to register or have questions! 303-841-2273

Q and A wtih Paul David Tripp Part 2

2009-09-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

Jeff Robinson
September 21, 2009
http://wwwcbmw.org

Following is the second part of a three-part interview with him. Read Part 1.
Paul Tripp is the president of Paul Tripp Ministries, a nonprofit organization,
whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." He is on the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, Pa., where he preaches on Sunday evenings and leads the ministry to Center City.

Gender Blog: How specifically do parents combat gender confusion? Do we insulate our children completely from the world?

Paul David Tripp: You ought to want to protect your child from that, but you will never successfully insulate your child. It's nearly impossible for a family living in Western culture not to breathe some of its air. When I think of isolating my children, I tend to think of it in one of two ways: it's sort of like the medieval monastery, which didn't work, or it feels like what Tom Ridge told us to do when there was some concern about a biological attack on America—‘Get a lot of plastic and duct tape.' I was thinking, ‘Are you serious, this is going to keep us safe?' Well, I think there is a whole lot of plastic and duct tape going on in Christian families. I think a better protection is just getting the topic on the table. Be honest with your children. Be honest early and don't stop being honest. Parents need to build relationships with their children where their children know it's safe here for me to talk about all my confusion and for me to ask embarrassing questions. I'll never be mocked. I'll never be made fun of. My parents will never respond in fear and end up grounding me or punishing me. This is a place of safety and grace and patience and we are going to talk our way through all of the confusion and all of the attack and all of the distortions and delusions that are out there. So that means you can't have just one talk about sexuality. You have to open that topic and keep it open and build relationships with their children where they feel safe and comfortable in both talking and listening.

Gender Blog: Is it ever too young to start teaching about gender?

Paul David Tripp: No. I think we would all say the greatest guardian for our children against falsehood is to enculturate them with truth. So, a boy who is taught God's design for a man, a girl who is taught God's design for a woman, will be taught honestly about the dangers and distortions that get all mixed up and blended and will also be taught about the dangers on the far end of a man being a chauvinistic arrogant blowhard—that's not godly—or a girl being so prissy and delicate that she becomes a diva that nobody can touch, which are distortions too. You have to do that in a way that is wholesome and balanced, but wow, we've got to do that. My son is 33 years old, but I would feel a much bigger burden to do that today than I did when he was coming up. That's how much things have changed. We did that, but it's a huge issue now.

Q and A with Paul David Tripp Part I

2009-09-23T09:00:00.000-07:00

By Jeff RobinsonSeptember 18, 2009
www.cbmw.org

Paul David Tripp recently visited Louisville for a conference on biblical counseling. Gender Blog was fortunate to have an opportunity to sit down with him and discuss issues of gender and culture. Following is the first part of a three-part interview with him.
Paul Tripp is the president of Paul Tripp Ministries, a nonprofit organization, whose mission statement is "Connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life." He is on the pastoral staff at Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, Pa., where he preaches on Sunday evenings and leads the ministry to Center City.

Gender Blog: As you travel and speak across the evangelical world, are you seeing more men and women embracing God's good design for the home and the church as it has been historically understood by the church?

Paul David Tripp: My observation of this present generation of young families that are in the church is that they are more serious and more informed than my generation was. When I am doing parenting conferences, I am talking very strongly about boys needing their dad and girls needing their mom to teach them what a godly man looks like and what a godly woman looks like. I see young couples who are eating that up. On the other hand, I think that our 10-year-olds to 18-year-olds are absolutely under siege. I think androgynous Western culture is everywhere. I think homosexuality is normalized to the junior high schooler/high schooler in ways that are shocking. We are facing a tidal wave of gender-confused young people in the church.

Gender Blog: Where do you see culture pushing in on biblical truth and causing such gender confusion?

Paul David Tripp: When you have girls who sort of like intense relationships with their peers and guys who like to have ‘best buds' in their lives and you have a culture that sexualizes all of that, it creates all kinds of confusion. They see on television young girls kissing one another and those kinds of things—what is a natural desire for community gets interpreted as being something sexual—and then it begins to blur the boundaries of what a woman is and what a man is, and there is the whole genre of music and fashion that caters to that; it's vexing.

Gender Blog: Where are some specific places you see this happening?

Paul David Tripp: There is a college in the suburbs of Philadelphia, as part of their week of orientation, have a couple of days of gender clarification. Basically, they ask a set of questions and put students through a set of exercises that, unless you are very strong and very aware, you will leave absolutely confused as to what it's like to be a man and what it's like to be a woman and whether you are a homosexual or straight. It is a crafted attempt to blur all the boundaries. When you add to that the whole normalization of "transgender," homosexuality, I just think that our kids are under siege. I can't help but think that this is fairly typical in our colleges and universities.

Gender Blog: Given the present cultural realities, must parents be intentional in teaching on gender from a young age?

Paul David Tripp: When I talk about sexuality in that way, every time I do a parenting weekend, I say to parents, ‘It's no longer just an issue of sexuality or gender, it's a fundamental cultural redefinition of human identity.' It's that profound and we do not have the ability to be silent because the world is not silent. We have to speak in ways that are clarifying to protect our children against that confusion... I have a letter that was handed to me from a man who is in ministry in Philadelphia that tries to minister to the homosexual community. He spoke at Tenth (Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia) on Sunday, and it was a letter written by a 15-year-old girl who had attended Tenth her whole life and who was in massive confusion. She was very offended by what he had said and could not believe that God would ever treat these issues and treat these people in this way. Her parents have no idea, because she has matriculated in that wider culture. So, while her parents are being silent—had one quasi-embarrassed talk about the subject—the world is not being silent.

Resources for Jr. and Sr. High Parents

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FBC Student Ministries Parent blog
www.fbc78-4.blogspot.com

Parenting

The Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp

Teach Them Diligently: How to use the Scriptures in Child Training By Loui Priolo

Shepherding a Childs Heart by Ted Tripp

Get Outta My Face: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel by Rick Horne

Family Devotion Resources

Family Worship by Donald Whitney

Whiter than Snow: Meditations on Sin and Mercy by Paul Tripp

Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer

Josh McDowell's Family Devotions by Josh McDowell

Josh McDowell's Youth Devotions by Josh McDowell

Fathers and Sons Stand Fast 2 vols by Douglas Bond

Cultivating Masculinity and Femininity

Girl Talk by Caroline Mahaney and Nicole Mahaney Whitacre

Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh

King Me: What Every Son Wants and Needs to Hear From His Father by Steve Farrar

Raising a Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis

Disciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughes

Books all Parents Should Read with Their Teen

The Peace Maker Student Edition by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson

When People are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency and the Fear of Man by Edward Welch

Sex is not the Problem Lust is by Josh Harris

I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris

Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris

Internet Filter Software

2009-09-14T08:54:00.000-07:00

What to look for in Internet Filter Software

Even though the perfect internet Filter does not exist in today's marketplace, there are a number of great solutions depending on your family's needs. Below are the criteria Top Ten REVIEWS used to evaluate internet filter software:

Ease of Use
The most important attribute an Internet filter program can offer is an easy-to-use design, making it possible for people with all levels of computer experience to easily install and use the filter to its fullest capacity.

Effective at filtering
Top internet filter software offers a good balance between filtering objectionable material and not filtering too much content. Another important aspect is the ability to customize the filter's sensitivity for each family member.

Filtering algorithm
The best filter programs use a combination of filtering techniques, including URL filtering, keyword filtering and dynamic filtering.

Activity reporting
The most useful internet filter software offer reports on what each family member has been doing on the computer, which includes websites visited, chat room activities, IM conversations and so on.

Client-Server based
Good filtering programs offer a flexible platform, which allows users to decide whether their optimal filtering solution is client (home computer) based, server (Proxy or ISP) based or a combination of both.

Foreign language filtering
Effective internet filter programs offer the capacity to filter keywords in multiple languages. One of the tricks that many teenagers have discovered to bypass internet filters is to type in the foreign language equivalent of certain keywords.

Port filtering and blocking
Filtering programs should block or filter all major internet protocols, including web access, chat rooms, email, peer-to-peer networks, bulletin boards and pop-up windows.

With internet filter software and proper supervision, parents can keep their families safe from the ever-present problems and help them enjoy the most educational and entertaining aspects of the internet.

Find more information on different internet filters at:

http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/

Suggestions for parents to help their teen use technology in a way that honors God

1. Place the computer in a central location in your home.

2. Limit virtual relationships encourage face to face contact.

3. Set ground rules for networking sites such as Facebook (As a parent you should be able to view your student's Facebook page).

4. Check to see if your student has spent time in God's word and prayer before they start texting all of their friends or checking Facebook.

5. Limit the applications they can have on their cell phones (i.e. internet, pictures, text messaging).

6. Have agreed upon times for technology use (i.e. no computer use past 9 pm).

7. Establish times of technological fasting for the whole family use this to spend quality time together camping game night.

8. Model moderation in your own life when it comes to technology use.

9. As their responsibility increases so should their privileges.

10. Remember the goal is not to just keep them safe but to train them to use technology in a way that pleases and honors God.

Curriculum Note to Jr. High Parents

2009-09-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

This year your youth will be using a curriculum called Teach Me Your Way. It is a study on surrendering to Jesus Christ in salvation and submitting to His will and way. The following is a brief summary of the contents:

Although created to worship God, man is prone by nature to worship the creation rather than the Creator. We are inclined to pursue the temporal benefits of this physical world over the eternal treasure of the spiritual world. Only God can open blind eyes to the surpassing worth of knowing Christ. Surrendering to Christ in salvation involves the mind, heart, and will of the person, and true saving faith results in submission to the will and ways of Jesus.

The evidence of a surrendered heart is obedience, and the mark of the obedient heart is reflected in the true righteousness of the person who has “put off the old self” and has “put on the new self.” Though perfect righteousness has been legally imputed to the believer through the cross, the life of righteous living, though imperfect till heaven, can be reflected in the believer here. The righteous heart attitude and actions taught in the Sermon on the Mount are a picture of the “already but not yet” perfected believer.

Because sin is subtle and man’s nature is sinful, Christians must encourage each other daily to submit to God and to resist sin until Jesus returns and we reflect the perfection of the character of Christ.

This curriculum is not intended to be an exhaustive study of the Sermon on the Mount, but rather a study of surrender to Christ in salvation and subsequent submission to His way using the Sermon on the Mount to demonstrate the character of the true believer.

Your son or daughter will be given a Student Journal to use for classroom note taking and to use at home. The at-home exercises in the journal will be a means of reinforcing and applying the truths taught at church. Please encourage your young person to use the journal and to dialogue with you about what he/she is learning in class and in the journal activities.

In addition, we would like to encourage you to read with your son or daughter, the book The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. This will give you a springboard for spiritual discussion with your son or daughter. Assigned portions are noted at the end of each week’s journal activities.

“Teach Me Your Way” (Psalm 86:11) is an expression of need, an acknowledgement of dependency, and a prayer for help. Please pray for your son or daughter as he/she is exposed to the great truths of God contained in this curriculum.

Please contact your student’s teacher with any questions or concerns you may have. Thank you for the privilege of ministering to your son/daughter this year.

Guidelines & Expectations for Regular Attendees

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Guidelines & Expectations for Regular Attendees

Please remember:

Reverence for God- We want to honor God in all we do.
When dealing with non-Christian students, our desire is to be gracious, compassionate, and loving. At the same time we want to provide a safe environment for them to hear and respond to the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.
The safety of all who participate in our ministry.
Effective and consistent communication. Respect for each other and adults.
Discipline is an essential part of making disciples. Hebrews 12:1-11

Note:

We want students to be assured that if an incident occurs, necessary people will be involved in the process. Example: Student(s), Parent(s), Adult leader(s), Pastoral Staff, Elders, and Local Authorities are possible people who might be involved.

General Respect Expectations:
Student Participation- We expect students to be involved, connected, and cooperate fully with the adult leadership.

Appropriate Attire- It should be the desire of
every Christian to please God with their life and
appearance. Paul said, “I appeal to you
therefore, brothers, by the mercies
of God, to present your bodies as a living
sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God,
which is your spiritual worship. Do not
be conformed to this world, but be
transformed by the renewal of your
mind, that by testing you may discern
what is the will of God, what is good and
acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:1-2)
With this in mind, we expect modest and
appropriate clothing. To be specific: clothing
with holes in inappropriate places, skirts and
shorts that go above the length of the mid-
thigh, pants or shorts that show underwear when walking or sitting. Also, shirts that are low cut exposing cleavage, shirts that show belly and tank tops that expose the bra and or bra straps are not acceptable.

Remember- “under” wear means under
clothes. As for visitors/guests, our main goal is
to point them to Christ, not rules.

Alcohol/Drugs- We have a no tolerance policy
concerning the use of alcohol and drugs. Not only does it have negative spiritual and physiological implications, it is against the law. If a student is found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol at a FBC youth sponsored event, the process of dealing with it will be:
Local authorities and parents called and a report given
A follow up meeting with parents to discuss the students ongoing involvement with our youth ministries.

Weapons - If any weapon (open knives, mace, guns of any type, clubs, brass knuckles, or any other item that can be used to inflict bodily harm) in the possession of the student the process of dealing with it will be:
Item(s) immediately taken from the student.
Parents will be contacted.
The student(s) will be suspended from youth ministries until a meeting with their parents has taken place and criteria for the student to return is discussed and determined.
If any student brings a gun of any type Police will be contacted and a report will be filed.
Fighting- Our student ministries are to be a safe place where students can come to learn about God and enjoy the fellowship of those in the church. If a fight occurs on the church property, the manner in which it will be handled is this:
Parent(s) and /or Police will be called and student(s) will leave with their parent. A follow-up meeting will be made with the student(s) and parent(s)

Disruptive Behavior- We expect students to have fun, interact, and participate in an orderly, respectful manner. Therefore, any student who is not cooperative with the adult leadership will be addressed in the following manner:
Adult leadership and student will discuss actions and seek resolution.
If a student persists in the disruptive behavior after Adult leadership has given a warning Leadership will have to meet with parents before the student will be allowed to return to any of our youth activities.
Continued incidences after parent meeting will result in the student not being welcome to return to any youth event without a parent as chaperone. After a period of time and in concert with the parent’s and student’s affirmation of compliance to our policies regarding behavior we will allow the student to return without a chaperone.
When legal action is necessary, local authorities will be notified.
In the case of inappropriate touching, parents will be immediately contacted and steps 3 & 4 will be followed.

Public Display Of Affection (PDA)- The displaying of affection among members of the opposite sex is unacceptable (this includes but is not limited to kissing, frontal hugs, and inappropriate touching, holding or caressing etc.). When this problem occurs, the process will be:
Adult leadership will speak privately with the individual(s) involved explaining our expectation and how it was violated. They will also receive a warning about the consequences should it happen again.
Second incident will require a parental meeting to discuss a strategy for future behavior.
Continued incidences after parent meeting will result in the student not being welcome to return to any youth event without a parent as chaperone. After a period of time and in concert with the parent’s and student’s affirmation of compliance to our policy regarding PDA we will allow the student to return without a chaperone.

Student Drivers- We are excited (and scared!) about students being able to drive. With that in mind, a couple of expectations are required:
Licensed driving students are encouraged to drive safely especially while on church property.
If a student brings a friend, please make sure their parents know about it. Parental permission is a high priority to us.
Students are to drive safely in the church parking lot, NO goofing off will be permitted.
Once a student is on church premises, he/she is to be transported with the rest of the group. No Exceptions! We will not allow any students to drive to any event large or small so please don’t ask.

Cell Phones- Due to the distractions which cell phones present to our ministry we ask that students do not bring their cell phones to any FBC sponsored youth event, including Sunday morning and midweek activities. Parents who need to reach their student while at church can call the church office or youth pastor Phill Crust at 303-519-2413 (additional phone numbers may be designated in the future).

We recognize that on rare occasions there may be an emergency situation where a student might need to carry a cell phone. If your family is in this situation please discuss the situation with the youth pastor prior to sending your student to an FBC Student Ministries event.

Our disciplinary process for cell phone use is as follows:
Student will be made aware of our expectations regarding cell phone use and asked to leave their cell phone at home or in the car in the future.
If after being made aware of our expectation the student continues to bring and use their cell phone, the cell phone will be immediately taken from the student and a meeting with parents will be arranged to discuss our policy regarding cell phones.
Continued incidences after parent meeting will result in the student not being welcome to return to any youth event without a parent as chaperone. After a period of time and in concert with the parent’s and student’s affirmation of compliance to our cell phone policy we will allow the student to return without a chaperone.

Discipline-We value justice and mercy. Issues of discipline will be handled when students and parents have had the opportunity to hear/view the expectations and policies of our ministry. If there is a need for discipline, the goal will be loving correction. Therefore, the first disciplinary step will be for the adult leader to remind the student of the standards of our ministry, and inform the student of the standard that has not been maintained. At the time, the adult leader will inform the student of the consequences should the same standard be broken again. If the standard is not observed for a second time, a meeting with the parents will be initiated. Continued incidences after a parent meeting will result in disciplinary action being taken.

Special Event Discipline- Inappropriate student behaviors such as punching, pinching, hitting, kicking, inappropriate language, while away from FBC will be handled in the following manner:

When this kind of activity takes place, the youth leader will warn the participants to stop.
If the warning is ignored or if the activity restarts later during the event, the youth leader will immediately stop the event, escort the offenders from the room; call their parents asking that they come for their student(s) at the parent’s expense.
When the parents arrive to pick up their student(s) the youth leader will report to the parents what took place.
The students will not be welcomed to return to youth events without their parent as chaperone After a period of time and in concert with the parent’s and student’s affirmation of compliance to our policy we will allow the student to return without a chaperone.

I have read the guidelines and expectations and understand the disciplinary actions that will be taken if I break the guidelines. I further agree to uphold expectations realizing that my conduct at FBC Youth Ministries is a reflection of the body of Christ at Faith Baptist Church. I desire to see Christ honored in my actions attitudes and words.

Student Signature ____________________________________

Parent Signature_____________________________________