Families of Faith

Parents & Kids of Faith

2012-02-10T08:38:00.003-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

O is for Obedience
The Gospel calls forth obedience (Rom. 1:5) in at least three ways. First, we must obey the Gospel by believing and receiving the Good News (John 6:29). Second, the faith that saves works itself out in obedient living by God’s empowering grace (Phil. 2:12-13). Third, we are to obey Jesus’ command to bring this Gospel to the nations (Matt. 28:18-20). In our ministries of teaching and formation these calls to obey the Gospel must be clear and unequivocal.

9 IMPORTANT STATEMENTS FROM DEB THAT HAVE TAKEN ME 40 YEARS TO LEARN

1. Fine: This is the word Deb uses to end an argument when she is right and I need to stop talking.  

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if I have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and I need to be on my toes. Discussions that begin with "nothing" usually end in “fine.”

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare from her, not permission, so I don't do it!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by me. A loud sigh means she thinks I am an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and having a discussion with me about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements Deb makes. “That's okay” means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when I will pay for my mistake.

7. Thanks: When Deb says “thanks” I do not question it. I have learned to just say “you’re welcome.” Unless she says "Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking me at all. I do not say "you're welcome"... that will bring on a "whatever" – see #8).

8. Whatever: It is Deb’s way to say “you’re toast!”   

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that Deb has told me to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in me asking her, "What's wrong?" For her response, refer to #3.

PRAY LIKE YOU CAN'T SAVE YOUR KIDS AND PARENT LIKE YOU CAN

By Pastor Erik Raymond, Emmaus Bible Church, Bellevue, Nebraska

My kids are growing up. This is filled with all sorts of emotions. Life presents new challenges and circumstances. This is true for any parent. But things are a little different for Christian parents. We actually believe that our kids are not Christians just because we are. Heaven is not an unalienable right like voting at 18. Our children have to actually come to terms with the God of the gospel themselves.

This presents an interesting set of circumstances for parents. We have a responsibility, a mandate even, to raise our kids in the ‘discipline and instruction of the Lord.’ (Eph. 6.4) We understand that in this same book the same Apostle says that prior to conversion we all are dead in sin, and apart from a supernatural work of God’s grace and mercy we would not follow Christ (Eph. 2.1-8).

So what do you do?

The Dangerous Trap
I think there is potentially a trap to step into here if we are not careful and thinking. If you believe that your children cannot be converted apart from God’s sovereign work of grace in their lives, you may become complacent in praying for them and actively ‘gospelizing’ them. We may begin to think that since they are unbelievers then what you do with the Scriptures and what you do on your knees is not helpful. This type of thinking is as dangerous as it is unbiblical.

The command to train your children is not contingent upon their receptivity. Parents (specifically Dads) do not have to ask to be the leader, they already are. And so therefore they are accountable.

“But wait…,” some might say, “how is God going to hold me accountable for something that I have no ability to accomplish myself?”

This is important to think through.

The Motivating Truth
You are right, you cannot save your children. But, God never called you to save them, he has called you to care for them. You are to shepherd their hearts with the word of God (Eph. 6.4; cf also Deut. 4.9; 6.7; 11.19). And you are to carry your cares of their salvation to the throne of grace for mercy and help (Heb. 4.16; 1 Pet. 5.7). It is this that you will be accountable for.

Please think through the horrible logic of being lazy in light of your children being unconverted and disinterested in biblical things. Your excuse then is that you are lazy because God is sovereign and they are sinners? The first thing I would ask any of my Reformed leaning friends is, “What are you doing about it Dad?”

So what do you do about it?

I can sum it up in a sentence: Pray like you can’t save your children and parent like you can.

Be relentless on your knees for your children. Carry them to the throne of grace daily as you petition the sovereign and good God of the gospel for mercy. And also, be faithful to bring the Scriptures to bear in regular study, instruction and application in their lives. Have regular times of family devotions. But also, be sure to integrate the glory of God in all manner of life and thinking. Bring the matchless beauty of Christ to bear on everything that you can.

This is hard work. It is however, the work of faith, the work of dependence and the work of love. It is gospel work. It is Christian parenting. You are believing that God is merciful, that his word is powerful, and that he is infinitely valuable. We cannot afford to cling to lame and ill-conceived excuses when we are talking about such weighty things as the glory of God, our accountability before him, and the souls of our children.

So get to work, in the prayer closet and at the kitchen table; plead Christ to them and them to Christ!

Share The Love of Jesus With Others Through A Simple Invitation

By Bob Stelter, Missionary with Family Life

Much is said here at FBC about being Jesus in your square mile. That can take many forms depending on the people and circumstances.

What if there was a simple, conversational way to encourage married couples in their covenant relationship - AND - maybe be a part of leading someone to coming to receive the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior?!

Does that excite you? Or, make you nervous? Did I say it was simple?

Here's the plan:

1. Visit the Weekend To Remember Marriage Getaway kiosk on Sunday (2/12, 3/4, 3/18) and pick up a brochure

2. Take the brochure home and pray about who the Lord would have you hand the brochure to

3. Whichever person the Lord brings to mind, take action and hand the brochure to them with a very brief invitaton:

"Hey (friend). Our church is promoting this 'Weekend To Remember Marriage Getaway' and I thought you might like to know about it. My spouse and I have attended and really enjoyed it. The sticker on front shows the dates and if you register with the Group, you get half off the regular rate."

THAT'S IT!

What will happen as a result? The person may shrug it off and throw away the brochure. The person may have a few questions for you about the event. The person may end up attending with their spouse. What if that couple REALLY needed biblical encouragement and you did not know how close to separating they were?? What if one or both of them had yet to accept Christ and make this eternal decision at the event??

Would that excite you?!!

Consider this: last year in Lincoln, 99 people responded to the Gospel presentation on Saturday; and 42 of those people were married couples! Now, there's 99 reasons to rejoice.

Grab a brochure, pray, be bold...and have a part in maybe saving a marriage or transforming where someone spends eternity!

Parents & Kids of Faith

2012-02-03T08:39:00.002-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

N is for Narrative
We must ever study the Gospel because it is the apex and summary of the great narrative of God’s redemptive activity in the world. It is into this Story that we have been called. In an age when many deny the existence of a single metanarrative that applies to all persons it is more crucial than ever that we know the biblical narrative and tell it faithfully to others, asking God to convince hearers as we do so that this is their Story as well.

ANOTHER SIGN I AM LOSING MY MIND IN MY OLDER AGE
(Maybe this really happened)

Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.

Deb has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through the doors of the church, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately call the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all.

"Honey," I stammered. (I always call her “honey” in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard Deb’s voice.

"George" she barked, "I dropped you off!"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, would you come and get me?"

Deb retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."

ASKING GOD WHY

BY LAURA HENDRICKSON, GOSPEL BALM MINISTRIES

When my son, Eric, was young, I asked God many times why he was born with autism. I wondered: why me? And why Eric?

Why Did I Have to Suffer?

I wanted to know why other mothers got to have wonderful moments with their infants, cooing and smiling, basking in all that glorious mother-child love, while my baby was as unresponsive as a sack of potatoes most of the time.

I wanted to know why other mothers of small children got grubby handfuls of dandelions and home-made love gifts, while the only way I received anything like this was if I first explained to Eric why it was important, and then helped him to pick the flowers or make the gift.

Why Did Eric Have to Suffer?

I also wanted to know why Eric had to suffer. I wanted to know why he had to experience all the disappointments and failures that came about through no fault of his own, because he didn’t see the world the way other people do. I wanted to know why he had to miss out on so much that other kids never thought twice about having—the sports successes, the friendships, the appreciation of important adults in his life.

This is why Hannah’s and Samuel’s stories have so much meaning for me. They probably didn’t understand, any more than I did, what God was doing through their sufferings, but their stories were recorded so I could learn faith lessons from their lives. How do I know this? The Bible itself teaches that this is one reason it contains them (1 Corinthians 10:11.)

Why Did Hannah and Samuel Suffer?

What did I learn from their stories? God’s purposes for my life, and for my son’s life, may be bigger than just giving us what would make us happy. Hannah and Samuel suffered so that I, and countless others like me, could learn from their endurance how the Lord uses the lives of those who trust in Him.

They also suffered so that God could bring about His plans for Israel during that period in her history. Their suffering had a purpose. It wasn’t meaningless. It was designed by God to accomplish good, not only in their personal lives, but in the larger world of their time, and as a legacy for those like me who were yet to be born.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” As I look at Samuel’s life, remembering not only the great purposes God accomplished for the nation of Israel through his ministry but also the good he did in his personal life through his suffering, I can be confident that God is doing the same for Eric.

God’s Purpose for Eric and Me

Romans 8:28-30 tells us, “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, forthose who are called according to his purpose. For those whom heforeknew he alsopredestinedto be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might bethe firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he alsojustified, and those whom he justified he alsoglorified.”

This passage tells us that the good that God is doing in Eric’s and my lives is making us like Jesus Christ, and bringing us to eternal glory in Him. This is the ultimate purpose for which He’s called us to Himself, which He’ll complete when we join Him to live in eternity forever.

Hannah and Samuel died in faith, perhaps without seeing any of the purposes he had for their lives come to fulfillment. Maybe neither of them was ever able to say, “Wow! So that’s why that happened!” But in eternity, surely they know and rejoice in what God has done through their lives.

Similarly, the Lord may call me to die in faith, trusting that he’s fulfilled His plan for my life, even if I still can’t see it at the time of my death. I also may not understand all the reasons he had for creating Eric as he did this side of eternity. If Eric continues to have difficulties throughout his life, this won’t mean that God isn’t doing anything in his life.

The Lord doesn’t have to make Eric a success for me to believe that He created him for a reason, and that He’s doing something wonderful through his life, because I know that God has promised that this is what He’ll do, and He always keeps His promises.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2012-01-27T14:23:00.001-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

M is for Mission

And why must we continually learn and teach the Gospel? We do so that we may not lose sight of the great work that God is doing in our day. God is actively engaged in the wondrous work of reconciling all things to himself. It was for this that the Son of God came forth. “God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself” (2 Cor. 5:19). And this work continues in and through us, the body of Christ, gathered and dispersed throughout the world today. The very work for which the Father sent the Son, the Son has now sent his church to continue (Matt. 28:18-20; John 20:21). And he promises to be with us always. Being in his presence must be taken as seriously as doing the work of true mission, for mission can only have power and a cutting edge when Christ is indwelling us and we him.

THE MEN WILL UNDERSTAND THIS
(Maybe this really happened)

Deb and I went to SouthPointe Shopping Center last week to buy a few items at Scheels, and she asked if we could stop in at one of her favorite clothing stores, Coldwater Creek. I agreed and knew she wanted to get some new clothing items. I took a seat in the “husband chair” as she shopped and came in and out of the dressing room with the question repeated each time, “How does this one look?” After about 40 minutes of her trying on outfits, my patience had run its course. Deb came out of the dressing room and I immediately looked at her and said, “That one looks great on you. Go ahead and get it!”

“Dear,” she replied, “this is what I was wearing when we came in.” Whoops again on my part.

PREPARING FOR GAME DAY- GETTING READY FOR SUPER SUNDAY
By Rick Thomas, Greenville, SC

Everything is an opportunity for the Christian. All of life is one big opportunity to put God’s name on display. In one sense it does not matter what you do, as much as it matters why you do it. I’m assuming you understand that when I say “What you do,” that I am talking about things that are morally right, correct?

For example, in our small group we like to ask this question: If your wife asks you to go to the store to get a gallon of milk, what would be your main reason for going to the store?

The answer to that question should not be, “To get a carton of milk.” That would be a secondary reason for going to the store. The primary reason for going to the store is to seek God’s kingdom. You could say it this way: to glorify Him. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. – Matthew 6:33 (ESV) So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. – 1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV)

Jesus told us not to think so much about what we eat, what we drink, or what we put on our bodies (Matthew 6:25). Those are the things the Gentiles spend their time thinking about and pursuing. He said that our heavenly Father will take care of those things for us (Matthew 6:32). While we have a personal responsibility to go and get the milk, it is not something that we should spend a lot of time thinking about. Those are things of this world. We have an eternal perspective.

As we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. – 1 Corinthians 4:18 (ESV) The thing He wants us to think about is how to seek His kingdom while we are living here on earth– how to push the Gospel forward in our sphere of influence. He says that if we will spend our time thinking about those kinds of things, then He will make sure we have our milk. As you head off to the store to serve your wife, be sure to make it your aim to be on the lookout for what God is writing into your story. Who knows, God may have you at that store because He has somebody else at that store who needs to hear a word from Him. Your job: seek His kingdom. His job: provide you milk.

In a few days many of us will have another opportunity to spread the Gospel around in our sphere of influence as we gather to watch the Super Bowl. For our family we have an annual Super Bowl party, which is part of how we do life in our small group. Each year we gather in one of our member’s homes and enjoy each other, as some of us watch the game. For the Christian the Super Bowl is not about a game as much as it is about an opportunity. The opportunity is to put God’s name on display. To do this is the grand privilege for the Christian. It does not matter if we are sitting at a congested traffic light, visiting the home where death has come, or watching the Super Bowl, our primary aim in life is to make God’s name great.

With this Christ-exalting, Gospel-centered thought in mind, here are a few helpful tips as you prepare your heart, your family, and your friends for a Super Bowl bash.

Enjoy it

Nobody should enjoy the Super Bowl more than a Christian and the Christian community. If it is okay to do, then there is nothing in this world that the world should enjoy more than the Christian– even watching a TV show.

The reason for this is because the Christian is the only truly free and joy-filled person in the world. The Christian’s greatest problem in life has been resolved at the cross and because of this he/she is free to enjoy life more than anyone else.

Isn’t it kinda sad when the world is louder than we are? What do they have to shout about? What do they have to laugh about? Terry Lindvall said it this way, when he quoted C. S. Lewis from the book, Surprised by Laughter:

Laughter is a divine gift to the human who is humble. A proud man cannot laugh because he must watch his dignity; he cannot give himself over to the rocking and rolling of his belly. But a poor and happy man laughs heartily because he gives no serious attention to his ego….
Only the truly humble belong to this kingdom of divine laughter…Humor and humility should keep good company. Self-deprecating humor can be a healthy reminder that we are not the center of the universe, that humility is our proper posture before our fellow humans as well as before almighty God. -Terry Lindvall (Surprised by Laughter: The Comic World of C. S. Lewis) Christians should be the happiest and the loudest people in the restaurant, at the ball game, or any other place where laughter and joy is appropriate. I’m not making a case for being loud for the sake of being loud. I’m making a case for living in the on-going awareness of the pleasure that God has in us because of the Gospel. We are truly forgiven and free because of the Savior’s work on His cross. His finished work gives any believer an unsurpassed and unspeakable joy. It does not matter what you are doing, there should be the freeing, guiltless, unashamed, contented victory that only Christ can bring to a person. The Super Bowl is one of those places where that freedom in Christ can be on full display.

Watch with discernment

As you know we are not entirely sanctified and our world is not sin-free. Therefore we are not allowed to dismiss discernment while basking in the merriment of being free in Christ. Being happy and loud does not mean being foolish and simple.

While it would be wrong to think that foolish people are genuinely happy, it would be just as wrong to think that highly moral people are not happy. Just the opposite is true. As I have already stated, the most free and untethered people in the world– Christians– should be the happiest.

However, that does not negate the need to steward wisdom and discernment. For example, the athletes in our country are often given the center stage to proudly brag on themselves. They do their shuffles, dances, fist pumps, and other forms of self-glorifying, attention-drawing antics. This does not glorify God by putting His name on display. It glorifies the athlete.

Sports, like all of life, is an opportunity. The Super Bowl will be one of those opportunities to draw attention to what is good, while helping others to discern what does not make God’s name great. For the first time in my son’s life he has taken an interest in football this year. It has been the joy of my life to snuggle with him on Sunday nights to watch a football game. He has a zillion questions about the game. Earlier this season, as he was learning the game, he asked, “Daddy, why are they all cuddling together?” He was referring to a pile of men who were trying to tackle a running back.

While I laughed to myself at how he interpreted what he was observing, the Spirit also illuminated me to help him understand what was going on. One of the things I have been able to point out to him is how some men brag, while others simply play the game without having to showboat– think Tim Tebow. It is in these moments, when character and humility have been put on display, that we need to draw attention to such things. These are the things I want to emulate in my life and I hope that he will want to do that also.

Modeling precedes teaching

You are an example– even at the Super Bowl. No Christian gets time off from being like Christ. For some, there may be no more important time this year for them to exercise self-control than during the Super Bowl.

Recently I took my family to watch a college basketball game. It was kinda humorous, but mostly sad to hear and see some of the expressions of anger that were displayed by the coaches, teams, and some of the fans.

The game is not worth a hill of beans, as we say down here in the southern part of the United States. That means, it is a worthless event, as far as an event is concerned. The only thing that brings value to any event is if we put Christ on display by our attitude and actions while at the event.

You and I are open letters that our friends will be able to read. And a picture is worth a thousand words. Model Christ. What you say about Christ will be marginalized and possibly ignored if the life you put on display does not back it up.

Guard thy heart when you watch the game. It’s just a game.

The remote

As you know, Christians do not run the Super Bowl. Wisdom, discernment, and discretion will have to be ready and on demand. We have found it to be helpful to designate someone to control the remote control. This will serve many parents of little ones as well as friends if you predetermine to guard the hearts of those attending your event. Our culture has a darker and twisted perspective on humor and discretion. Be prepared. This is a distinctly cultural event that we will be enjoying. Do not be surprised with what they present as funny or acceptable.

Gospel opportunities

The Gospel is about going– leaving your place, to go to their place, in order to redeem a person. That is what Christ did (Philippians 2:5-11). And He is calling us to do the same– to have the mind of Christ.

Let me appeal to you to “scan the room.” Look for someone who could use some encouragement, a friend, or a kind word fitly spoken. Be a friend. Be Jesus to them. Don’t forget the Gospel. Look for those opportunities to practically live out the Gospel in the lives of other people.

Keep your eye on the ball

Most Super Bowl Games are overrated. Some are good, while others are good for only a little while. Most of them are just average. Out of the forty or so that I have watched, I can hardly remember any of them. Fortunately, the quality of the game is not what determines the quality of your time together with friends. The best part of the Super Bowl is the opportunity you will have to make memories with your friends. Your team may not be in the Super Bowl. Does it really matter?

Maybe your team is in the Super Bowl. Does it really matter? Maybe you couldn’t care less about the Super Bowl. It doesn’t matter.

The Gospel it what really matters. The most important part of the party will be the relationships you build or continue to maintain. Don’t go away with just a memory of the game. Make a Gospel-centered investment in the life of another.

The worst player in the game

Perhaps a player does something that you do not like. Perhaps you seek to bring attention to what that player did. As you bring your observation to the bad behavior or if you are tempted to respond in anger to what you are looking at, please guard your heart against any hint of self-righteousness. I am the worst sinner I know– at least that was Paul’s assessment of himself and I embrace a similar assessment of myself (1 Timothy 1:15).

Therefore, whatever I view on “Super Sunday” will not compare to what I have done on the crucifixion day of my Savior. This Gospel-centered thinking may serve you as you watch the game with humility.

It does not matter

The game is irrelevant. Our culture makes it relevant because that is all they have for today. They live for today. Therefore, they create the buzz and sustain the buzz. They have no choice. That is who they are.

We are different. While we are in the world, we are not like the world. We have a higher calling. Enjoy the game, make a memory, and be alert for what the Father may want to do through you.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2012-01-20T12:02:00.001-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

L is for Love

The Gospel is the revelation of God’s abounding love: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8). We do well to immerse ourselves and the saints we serve in that Good News. The sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, for example, is an ongoing, multi sensory reminder of Christ crucified (1 Cor. 11:26). God’s Gospel love also calls forth love as response. The Lord’s Supper both declares God’s love and demands that we love one another in turn (1 Cor. 11:27). John, “the beloved apostle,” makes these truths very clear. “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” (1 John 4:10-11). And again he writes, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Would we see love grow in the hearts of God’s people and reach to their neighbors– both saints and sinners? Then we must school them continuously in the Gospel of love.

MY DOCTOR AND DIAGNOSIS

(Maybe this really happened)

I made an appointment to see my family physician this past week, out of concern for what seems to be a lessening of my level of energy the last few months based upon what Deb has expressed to me. My doctor asked why I thought I had a problem, and I told him that apparently I am not able to do the things around the house anymore that I used to be able to do.

After the examination was completed I said to the doctor, “Doc, I can take it; please tell me what is wrong in plain English.”

He said, “Okay. In plain English, you’re just getting lazy.”

“Hmm, okay,” I replied. “Now give me a medical term for this so I can tell Deb.”

PRAYER: A PARENTAL PRIORITY

By Jim Weidmann

Parents need to bring their children into prayer on a regular basis

Jesus taught his disciples by living with His disciples, so we teach our children - they watch what we do, they listen to what we say. You can not have a house of prayer if you are not a man and woman of prayer. Children learn to pray by listening to their parents and having their parents invite them into prayer in the every dayness of life. So as you discuss family situations, good or bad, stop and pray with your children. Or, when your children call you or tell you of something that happened or is happening in their day - stop and pray.

It was EM bounds who said: Little prayer is the characteristic of a backslidden age and of a backslidden church. Whenever there is little praying in the pulpit or in the pew, spiritual bankruptcy is imminent and inevitable. Around us is a world lost in sin, above us is a God willing and able to save. It is our duty to build the bridge that links heaven and earth, and prayer is the mighty instrument that does the work.

This constantly going to God consciously “bridges” God into every situation and helps us keep the proper perspective on how He is active in our lives. One of the biggest things we can do spiritually for our children is to help them become “prayer warriors.” We can not protect them from every harmful or evil situation, but we can give them the ability to call the power of heaven down on every situation!

Parents need to teach their children to pray

In my experience as the Vice Chairman of the National Day of Prayer Task Force, I found that people usually pray for three reasons: out of obligation - like when asked, out of tradition - like at the dinner table or out of desperation - like when they have no where else to turn. But, rarely do you hear people pray out of passion! Prayer is the spiritual breathing vital to sustaining our love relationship with God. Prayer is more about the relationship than it is the request!!

So Parents, need to teach their children to pray out of passion. Even Jesus' disciples asked late in His ministry: “Lord, teach us to pray.” So teach them “P.R.A.Y.” as they approach our heavenly Father.

P - Praise. Jesus opened His prayer with: “Father hollowed be your name…” When we start with Praise, we are moved from being self-centered to being God-centered. We confirm our relationship as one of dependence.

R - Repent. Jesus prayed: “..Forgive us our sins as we also have forgiven everyone who sins against us and lead us not into temptation..” Repentance rights our relationship with God, as we enter into His Holy presence repentant and seeking his forgiveness.

A - Ask. Jesus prayed: “…Give us each day our daily bread…” A pastor once noted that if you know what God knows, you’d want what God wants. So, we should be seeking to know what God knows about our situation so we will want what He wants for us.

Y - Yield. Jesus prayed: “Your Kingdom Come.” God has a purpose and a plan for our lives and knows what is best in any situation - the question is do we love Him enough to trust Him in EVERY situation.

Parents need to teach their children that prayer is tied to obedience

Do you have those “praying ladies” in the church that you turn to request prayers that will be answered? Why does it seem that they get results and yours’ never make it through the ceiling? One thing you need to look at is how you are living your life. God is clear: “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 Your conduct is tied to your prayers!

This becomes a time of introspection. You have to ask; is there sin in my life, something I am harboring and not giving up to God? See, you can not “serve two masters!” Psalm 66 says that “If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.”

The concept parents need to teach their children is that obedience is an act of love. It puts feet to our faith. Obedience is walking in a right relationship with God, obeying His principles and precepts (will). It is doing it with the attitude that we want to please God, because we love Him and He loves us. He shows His love back to us by answering our prayers. It says in 1 John 3:22 And receive from Him anything we ask, because we obey His commandments, and do what pleases Him.”

Parents & Kids of Faith

2012-01-13T14:28:00.002-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

K is for Knowledge
We continually learn the Gospel, even as believers, because the Gospel is the revelation of the knowledge and wisdom of God. Though the message of Christ crucified seems foolish to many in this age, “to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ [is] the power of God and the wisdom of God” (1 Cor. 1:23-24). The Gospel is “a message of wisdom among the mature” (1 Cor. 2:6), a message that is “God’s secret wisdom” that has been hidden for ages (1 Cor. 2:7). But “God has revealed it to us by his Spirit” (1 Cor. 2:10). “‘Who has known the mind of the Lord that he would instruct him?’ But we have the mind of Christ” (1 Cor. 2:16). Would we grow in the knowledge of God’s wisdom? Would we grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ? Then let us remain steadfast in the Gospel.

A NEW YEAR’S AGREEMENT THAT DID NOT LAST LONG
(Maybe this really happened)
Last week Deb and I had a discussion about things we can change and do better in our marriage this upcoming year. Among many things, one was an agreement that when we have an argument and neither one of us are willing to concede, Deb said that she would admit that she was in the wrong as long as I would admit she was in the right. I agreed and sure enough it was not long before we had one of those arguments. After a short discussion Deb brought up our agreement and I said, “Okay, but you go first.” Deb said, “All right, I am totally in the wrong.”

There was probably a little glint in my eye as, sticking to the agreement, I replied, “You’re right.”

And so, as with many New Year resolutions, this one passed away.

DO WE LIVE IN THE DAILY REALITY OF THE GOSPEL?
By Jeff Temple

Today my two boys got into a little sibling rivalry. After the crying, arguing, accusations of guilt, and vehement assertions of innocence I began my fatherly duty trying to broker peace in my house.

As parents, we shouldn’t just dole out discipline and leave it at that. There must be time for sorting out the spiritual details of the fracas. This wasn’t just having my boys tell each other they are sorry and ask for each other’s forgiveness (that is what I used to do).

Instead I had to clear the rubble away from the spiritual foundation so that my sons could build on it (1 Cor. 3:10). My boys know the gospel, but don’t yet comprehend the importance of living it out daily. The gospel is more of a concept to them, the big picture of salvation as a ticket to heaven, but it has not become a daily reality to them as sinners guilty of treason before God in continual need of grace, forgiveness, and redemptive sanctification.

Jesus Christ—The Foundation

Christ and His Word are the foundation on which my sons are to build their lives. But they will build on the foundation according to what I tell them about the gospel. In other words, if I do not grasp the significance of the foundation, then I will teach them to build incorrectly, which will cause their lives to have disastrous results due to a faulty foundation (Mt. 7:21-27).

Blueprint: The Gospel for Effective Parenting

To build a structure you need a blueprint to guide you if you want lasting results. Before you start building you have to be able to read or understand the plans. Otherwise you will labor in vain. This is where understanding the gospel is vitally important.

When I ask people to describe the gospel they typically quote John 3:16. This verse is not the complete view of the gospel. The message according to this verse emphasizes Jesus and the Father’s love for us, but in it there’s no indication that we have sinned against God.

As sinners we despise God’s authority over us (Ps. 2:1-3). If I were to tell my boys to treat each other with loving kindness because Jesus loves them and gave Himself up for them, that would not be a sufficient motivation for them to change because they wouldn’t see their hateful actions as rebellion against Christ their professed King. They need to connect the dots of their own sinfulness toward each other as a choice to dishonor and disobey their Creator (1 Jn. 4:21). They must grasp the significance of their own sinfulness in light of God’s law to be holy (Rom. 7:7-10), to love their God and their neighbor (Mt. 22:37-40). This produces true conviction in their consciences with a desire to repent (Rom. 7:24) and change (Rom. 12:1-2).

Danger: Bewitching Ahead (Gal. 3:1)

We must also remember the gospel as a reality in our own lives, and not just treat it as a concept. To forget about the gospel means we act as if we have arrived as a Christian, indicating the gospel has become more conceptual than real. When this happens we begin to affirm what Paul talks about in Galatians 2:18-19, relying on the flesh to justify or sanctify ourselves before Christ.

Then as parents we teach our kids to follow the law rather than the Savior. For example, to make my boys admit they sinned, to ask for one another’s forgiveness, to shake hands and instruct them to act like Christian young men is so much easier (it’s the law!) than to point them back to the gospel that saves and sanctifies (Gal. 3:2-3). When I follow the law I can get back to a fake peace quickly (really it is a truce masquerading as peace). What makes the law so bewitching is that we can do it outwardly, giving a false sense of success and pleasing God. This is dangerous for my sons—they could become little hypocrites (Mt. 15:7-9).

A false sense of assurance (Mt. 25:31-32, 41-46) and self-righteousness comes when we only teach them to put off the old man (arguing and fighting because you can’t get what you want) and to put on the new man (in order to make ME as the parent happy by all of us pretending to love and honor Christ). The Pharisees kept the law perfectly! Rather, true and lasting change must begin with the renewing of our minds (we are all guilty sinners who are justified by grace through faith and who must now grow in sanctification for the rest of our lives here on earth). This is the basis for living out the gospel daily. This is what is real (Eph. 4:1-3, 2 Pet. 3:18)!

Self-Diagnostics (Gal. 6:3-4a)

What is needed for my boys is to rewind past the fracas and onto the gospel. The gospel reveals their and my need to live according to the reality of the gospel, that we are sinners who struggle daily against the flesh, and who are growing in the Spirit as imitators of Christ. Just rewinding back to their fight will most likely conjure up angry feelings toward the other and encourage justifying themselves by asserting their own innocence. This likely leads to faking peace. To remind them of the gospel and the profession they made to trust Christ for salvation and their commitment to allow the Spirit to transform them into Christlikeness requires that they examine themselves (both their beliefs and actions). This is my objective as their father (Eph. 6:4). They know the gospel and what God requires of them. If they repent, good. Then we work on how to change. If they protest or feign repentance, then more instruction and discipline is needed. We work until there is true peace, both before God and with one another.

We must trust that God will bring about the conversion and transformation of our children and loved ones. But they will miss it if we preach to them a different gospel, one of law-keeping. It is the work of the gospel of Christ Jesus that will lead them into the truth that will make a lasting change in them. Keep your hand to the plow, teaching and admonishing, and don’t look back. This is the reality of the gospel.

WIVES AND MOMS: HAVE YOU VISITED “WOMEN IN THE TRENCHES (WITT)?”
A group of wives/moms in our church have started a new blog called Women in the Trenches.

In their own words, here is the purpose of the blog: Women In The Trenches is a resource of encouragement for women to continue to live lives that are gospel-centered in the midst of a world that wants us to settle for mediocrity. It is founded and written by women who have a passion for the gospel and a desire to spur on other women as we live out the gospel in our own lives.

Their key verse is Titus 2:11-14.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2012-01-06T13:21:00.005-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

J is for Jealousy
We learn and teach the Gospel because we are called to be jealous for those we serve. The apostle Paul declared to the Corinthian believers, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him” (2 Cor. 11:2). If we think jealousy is unbecoming in the apostle, we should remember that God himself is a jealous God (Exod. 20:5). True love that is covenant based is properly jealous concerning the parties in that covenant. We must keep the true Gospel before the eyes of those whom we teach and serve so that they will avoid what Paul feared for the Corinthians–that is, that they should “be deceived by the serpent’s cunning” and “somehow be led astray from [a] sincere and pure devotion to Christ” (2 Cor. 11:3). Deeper acquaintance with the true Gospel will help believers recognize and reject the preaching of “another Jesus” and “a different Gospel” (2 Cor. 11:4).

MEN WILL FEEL MY PAIN
(Maybe this really happened)

Deb was sick in bed with a case of the flu last week. Being a dutiful and loving husband, I offered to fix her some of her favorite herbal tea. When I went to get the tea, I could not find it anywhere. I went back to the living room where she was stretched out on the couch to ask her where it was. She said, "I don't know how it could be any easier to see. It's in the pantry, third shelf down, in a cocoa tin marked "matches."

THE SECRET FOR EFFECTIVE PARENTING

By Marty Machowski

Parents long for the secret to successful parenting much like Ponce DeLeon searched for the fountain of youth. If there was such a secret tonic, and a person discovered a way to bottle it, they would make a million. Still parents flock to the latest book, technique, or philosophy hoping against hope their kids will “turn out right.”

While we should look to improve our parenting, the secret to good parenting isn’t that elusive. I was reminded of it last week when a fellow pastor told me a story about his four-year-old son. Ashley (his wife) found their son Will sitting by himself reading The Gospel Story Bible, which I thought was really cool! She asked, “Whatcha doing bud?”

Will looked up and said with all the seriousness of a four-year-old, “Pretending to be Daddy.”

“What does Daddy do?” Mom followed up.

“He reads the Bible.”

Now don’t you know Dad warmed a few degrees when his wife shared the report of their son’s afternoon! When he shared the story with me, blessed that his son was reading The Gospel Story Bible (See below for Pastor George’s comment) recently authored, I remembered how important our example as Dads is for the growth of our sons.

Before Moses gave Israel God’s instructions for training their children (Deuteronomy 6:7-9) he commanded the parents to first follow those instructions themselves (Deuteronomy 6: 1-6). Why? Because their children were watching their example. Will didn’t need to be told to get out his Bible and have a time of devotions. He did what he saw his father doing.

Jesus himself followed this principle. He said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise” (John 5:19). Jesus set his life up as an example for his disciples. After washing their feet at the last supper he said, “For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” (John 13:15).

Peter and Paul exhorted the believers to both follow their example and be an example to others (1 Peter 2:21, 1 Timothy 4:12, 2 Thessalonians 3:9). Paul summed it up succinctly when he said, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). Is it any surprise then that the core principle for passing on instruction in the whole New Testament is the same for us as parents?

The most exciting part of parenting by example is that you don’t have to remember to do it. If you are living for God’s glory in all that you do, your children will learn from you every minute of every day they are around you. If you are like me, it is easy to forget to make the time to teach your kids. But when you live your life for Christ, even when you forget to lead them in instruction, they are still getting an education. That is as close to a secret tonic for parenting as I’ve got.

My (George's) Comment: The Gospel Story Bible by Marty Machowski is a great family resource. Here is the publisher’s review, and I also have a copy of this Bible and I affirm and encourage you to consider buying this for your family. For those who have used the “Jesus Storybook Bible,” this one is a great follow-up. You can purchase it for 50% off (along with other books you might want to consider) until January 12 at Westminster Bookstore by following this link. http://www.wtsbooks.com/product-exec/product_id/8098/nm/Gospel+Story+Bible%3A+Discovering+Jesus+in+the+Old+and+New+Testaments+%28Hardcover%29+%5BBest-Seller+2011%5D

Publisher’s Description: Can a Bedtime Story Actually Change Your Life?
It is easy to forget Jesus in the midst of frantic schedules, family squabbles, and conflicting priorities. But the truth is that he is the hero of every story, including these ordinary ones. This is why Marty Machowski puts God's plan of salvation in Christ on continuous display in The Gospel Story Bible. The easy-to-read storybook introduces your family to many captivating people, places, and events from the Bible's Old and New Testaments, showing how each one ultimately points to Jesus.

As you share these Bible stories together, you and your family will meet Jesus and learn a new, life-changing way of recognizing Christ as the hero of every story. Vibrant illustrations by A. E. Macha, child-friendly discussion questions, and Scripture references accompany each narrative to help you lead your family in exploring the Bible. You will be delighted to discover how easily even a young child can understand the original text of a story that he or she has already come to love. Ideal as a storybook for your preschooler, a devotional for your grade school student, a refresher for the adult believer, or an introduction for the new one.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-12-29T11:42:00.002-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

I is for Intimacy

Through the Gospel we are invited into a living relationship with the living God. In the love proclaimed at the heart of the Gospel God has adopted us into his family. “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God, and that is what we are” (1 John 3:1). The Holy Spirit empowers us to believe the Good News and is sent into our hearts, enabling us to cry, “Abba, Father” (Gal. 4:6). Rehearsing the Gospel in our worship, teaching, preaching, fellowship, and service helps us to nurture and celebrate this unfathomably intimate relationship.

SOME LESSONS LEARNED BY MY 8 GRANDSONS IN 2011

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

If your brother hits you, don't hit him back. They always catch the second person.

Never ask your 4-year old brother to hold a tomato.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

Baseballs make marks on ceilings

You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on

When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan

When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it

A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 38 year old man says they can only do it in the movies

A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day

Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old

Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence

Super glue is forever

Garbage bags do not make good parachutes

Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving

You probably do not want to know what that odor is

Always look in the oven before you turn it on

Plastic toys do not like ovens

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy

It will however make cats dizzy

Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy

The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandpa's lap.

TEN QUESTIONS TO ASK AT THE START OF A NEW YEAR

The following is from Donald Whitney, author of "Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life." His questions are excellent to explore together as a family.

Once, when the people of God had become careless in their relationship with Him, the Lord rebuked them through the prophet Haggai. "Consider your ways!" (Haggai 1:5) he declared, urging them to reflect on some of the things happening to them, and to evaluate their slipshod spirituality in light of what God had told them.

Even those most faithful to God occasionally need to pause and think about the direction of their lives. It's so easy to bump along from one busy week to another without ever stopping to ponder where we're going and where we should be going.

The beginning of a new year is an ideal time to stop, look up, and get our bearings. To that end, here are some questions to ask prayerfully in the presence of God.

1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?

2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?

8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?

In addition to these ten questions, here are twenty-one more to help you "Consider your ways." Think on the entire list at one sitting, or answer one question each day for a month.

11. What's the most important decision you need to make this year?

12. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what's one way you could simplify in that area?

13. What's the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?

14. What habit would you most like to establish this year?

15. Who is the person you most want to encourage this year?

16. What is your most important financial goal this year, and what is the most important step you can take toward achieving it?

17. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your work life this year?

18. What's one new way you could be a blessing to your pastor (or to another who ministers to you) this year?

19. What's one thing you could do this year to enrich the spiritual legacy you will leave to your children and grandchildren?

20. What book, in addition to the Bible, do you most want to read this year?

21. What one thing do you most regret about last year, and what will you do about it this year?

22. What single blessing from God do you want to seek most earnestly this year?

23. In what area of your life do you most need growth, and what will you do about it this year?

24. What's the most important trip you want to take this year?

25. What skill do you most want to learn or improve this year?

26. To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount this year?

27. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your commute this year?

28. What one biblical doctrine do you most want to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?

29. If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it?

30. What's the most important new item you want to buy this year?

31. In what area of your life do you most need change, and what will you do about it this year?

The value of many of these questions is not in their profundity, but in the simple fact that they bring an issue or commitment into focus. For example, just by articulating which person you most want to encourage this year is more likely to help you remember to encourage that person than if you hadn't considered the question.

If you've found these questions helpful, you might want to put them someplace- in a day planner, PDA, calendar, bulletin board, etc.- where you can review them more frequently than once a year.

So let's evaluate our lives, make plans and goals, and live this new year with biblical diligence, remembering that, "The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage" (Proverbs 21:5). But in all things let's also remember our dependence on our King who said, "Apart from Me you can do nothing" (John 15:5).

Copyright © 2003 Donald S. Whitney. Permission granted to copy this material in its complete text only for not-for-profit use (sharing with a friend, church, school, Bible study, etc.) and including all copyright information.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-12-22T13:38:00.002-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

H is for Hope

We focus on the Gospel also because it is the source of our hope. In face of the brokenness that fills the world around us and rises up within our hearts, what hope do we have? Apart from the Gospel we have none. But in the Gospel is a great and steadfast hope, and from this hopes springs forth faith and love sufficient for each day (Col. 1:5). Diminished “Gospels” may promote, on the one hand, easy believism or, on the other hand, may put the burden of salvation back on human shoulders rather than locating and leaving it in the hand of God. These deviations can offer no certain hope. The glorious Gospel is a blessed hope indeed (Titus 2:13), an anchor for the soul (Heb. 6:19). Christ in us is the hope of glory (Col. 1:27). This is the hope held out in the Gospel (Col. 1:23). With such a hope fixed within our hearts– based upon the certainty that God has made us his children and the confidence that we will be with Christ and like him forever– we long for and labor toward becoming more like him even now (1 John 3:1-3).

WHY I ALWAYS HATED THE GIFTS WITH THE WORDS, "SOME ASSEBLY REQUIRED"

’Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage “Some Assembly Required.”

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Deb and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie’s town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can’t get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
“Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand.”
“Honey,” said Debbie, “you just glued my hand.”

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With “assembly required” till morning’s first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my wife just before I passed out,
“This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we’ll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!”

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there’s something to say for those self-deluded…
I’d forgotten that Batteries are never included!

12 REASONS FOR CHRISTMAS
Compiled by Pastor John Piper

“For this I was born and for this I have come into the world, to bear witness to the truth” (John 18:37).

“The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8; cf. Hebrews 2:14–15).

“Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).

“The Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost” (Luke 19:10).

“The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).

“God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (Galatians 4:5).

“For God so loved the world that whoever believes on him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through him might be saved” (John 3:16).

“God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him” (1 John 4:9).

“I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

“Behold, this child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel, and for a sign that is spoken against . . . that the thoughts of many may be revealed” (Luke 2:34ff).

“He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed” (Luke 4:18).

“Christ became a servant to the circumcised to show God’s truthfulness, in order to confirm the promises given to the patriarches, and in order that the Gentiles might glorify God for his mercy” (Romans 15:7–8; cf. John 12:27ff).

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-12-15T16:43:00.001-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

G is for Grace
We need to continually learn and teach the Gospel because Gospel-centricity assures and propels us toward grace-centricity. When we swerve from the Gospel we lapse into either antinomianism (the moral law is of no use) or legalism (the moral law is necessary for salvation). Neither can offer the true beauty or savor of Christ. To be in the presence of individuals or congregations who are not grace-centered is enervating and exasperating. Let us then learn and relearn the glorious Gospel that we may ever stand fast in the true grace of God (1 Peter 5:12) and may indeed “grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forevermore. Amen” (2 Peter 3:18).

WATCH OUT FOR THIS OLD LADY!
(Maybe this really happened)

This past week I thought I would get a jump on my Christmas shopping and headed to one of the large department stores in town. As I was walking through the store and picking up a few items to get the grandboys, I noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on.

Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me. "Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," I replied "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother'? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," I answered.

As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

Then, as I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $227.50.

"How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

CHILDREN'S CHURCH OR THE FAMILY TOGETHER FOR WORSHIP?
As was announced this past week, starting January 8 we will be offering The Praise Factory as a children’s church program for children in Kindergarten through second grade during the 10:15-11:30 worship service time. I want to explain what this means to families of Faith Bible Church.

First of all, we are still affirming the following statement from our booklet, “The Family of Faith: Faith’s Commitment to the Family.” It states, “Parents are to teach and model God’s truth to their children. The Bible clearly teaches that the primary responsibility for teaching and modeling God’s truth to children is the responsibility of parents.”

How parents choose to best fulfill this task does vary from family to family and even child to child. We at Faith Bible Church want to be able to offer to parents various ways to support the spiritual nurturing of their children without compromising what we see as the biblical mandate to the parents. We also want to provide support to the children of parents who may not be Christians or may be attending without their parents.

In light of this, there are parents who feel that the church can help serve their family by supplementing the daily nurturing of their children with special Sunday classes that provide spiritual truths and the gospel that are appropriate to the state of cognitive development of their child rather than the worship service which is pointed to an adult audience.

On the same note there are parents who feel it best for the spiritual nurturing of their children that they participate in the corporate worship service even at an early age. For these families, their children have been and will continue to be welcomed in the service.

The summary of this is that the incorporating of children’s church is an offering to families and not a mandate. There will be provision for families now from birth through second grade during the 10:15 worship service or you may have your children join you during that same time.

Also, in order to provide these ministries during the 10:15 service hour, we still need many more volunteers in all the age groups (nursery through 2nd grade). All the ministries are set up so they are on a rotation basis so you do not need to stay out of the worship service for long periods. If you can help us, contact Pastor George at george.lockyer@faithbiblelincoln.org.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-12-09T10:56:00.003-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

F is for Fidelity
Faithfulness to the true Gospel calls for ongoing study and obedience. It calls as well for watchfulness, lest false Gospels be introduced. The battle against counterfeit gospels has always been part of church life. Even in the first century Paul battled against such, as did Peter and Jude and John. Like Paul we must be resolved that we will tolerate no other “Gospel,” even if it comes from a heavenly angel or springs from our own imperfectly sanctified hearts, and we should expect the same fidelity from those with whom and to whom we minister (Gal. 1:6-9). Only a constant learning and reviewing of the Gospel can ensure that we will be astute to separate the chaff from the wheat.

A MOM'S LETTER TO SANTA

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned, and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground, and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find any more free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a car with fingerprint-resistant windows and a radio that plays only big-people music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can be heard only by the dog.

And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet, making the in-laws' house seem just like mine.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It would clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs in his pajamas to eat contraband ice cream at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table, but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,
Mom

P.S. One more thing: You can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young...

INCREMENTALLY INTRODUCING YOUR CHILDREN TO THE WORLD
By Rick Thomas

Fear is probably the most commonly used parenting model among Christians. While it is wrongheaded, I certainly understand why parents fret over their children. I have children and I don’t want them to rebel against God or reject Him in any way. Therefore, it is no exaggeration to say that I think daily about the faith/fear tension in my heart when it comes to parenting my kids. I want them to end well, turn out well.

My hope for my kids is singular and could be summed up by the two great commandments: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:37-39 (ESV)

I understand the calling that God has placed on my life as it pertains to my responsibility in parenting them the way Jesus would parent them. Somedays I worry and other days I don’t. Usually my worry/don’t worry scenarios are provoked by their behavior: if they are behaving well, then I don’t worry; if they are not behaving well, then I tend to worry.

To think that my children can control me so easily does not speak well of my trust in God. Where is your focus: more on God and His goodness and faithfulness to you or on your children and their current good or bad behavior? This is a hugely important question, because how you answer that question will not only determine your levels of worry and anxiousness about your children, but it will have a major impact on how you parent your children.

The parent traps
Your parenting will be affected and to some degree determined by your focus. If you are trusting God primarily then you can parent with faith, grace, courage, and joy. If you are more focused on what they are doing or not doing, then you will be tempted to succumb to an assortment of parenting traps. Here are a few of the more common ones:

The parent who is not humbly trusting God will be tempted to control their children.
The parent who is not humbly trusting God will be more authoritarian in their parenting approach.
The parent who is not humbly trusting God will be self-sufficient rather than God-dependent.
The parent who is not humbly trusting God will be more fearful.
The parent who is not humbly trusting God will overreact when their kids misbehave.
The parent who is not humbly trusting God will over-shelter their children.

A key to remember is that you are not trying to rear the perfect 6-year-old or 10-year-old or even a 15-year-old. You must keep the end in mind. If you don’t, you’ll become a worrying and possibly angry micro-manager. Some call this “helicopter parenting” or other odd terms that don’t communicate a grace-filled, gospel-motivated parenting worldview. This kind of parenting is too short-sighted and does not incorporate a comprehensive model that understands the point or preferred result of parenting.

The point of parenting is summed up in the two great commandments from Matthew 22:37-39, as noted above. All parenting must have the love God/love neighbor result in mind. That is the end game for all of us. If your children become adults who love God supremely and have no other desire than to be Jesus to everyone they encounter, including their own spouses, children, and their enemies, then you can rest assured that regardless of what happens to them, they will be okay.

Typically the stereotypical helicopter-micro-managing parent does not get this. They are myopic in their thinking. Their focus is more on the here and now rather than keeping the end in mind. There are reasons the micro-managing parenting model is enticing. Here are three:

The parents are fearful of how their children will turn out, so they exercise authoritarian or smothering control.
The parents are lazy and don’t want to be inconvenienced, so they legislate a tight ship.
The parents are overly concerned about their reputation, so they demand perfect obedience at all times.

The Gospel-motivated parent is not like this at all. They are less tense, less stressed, and less angry, while resting in God’s sovereign control over all things, including the parenting of their children in the short and long-term.

Loving God in good times and bad
If you are not myopic, but understand that you’re not after the perfect 10-year old, then you will have a strategy in mind that includes the future. Rather than trying to iron out all of the present wrinkles in your child’s life so you will look good in front of others or so you won’t be inconvenienced, you will be able to absorb their present screw-ups, while using those moments to equip them for the future.

As I write this I am reminded of a long list of parents who have come to me through the years when their kids were bouncing off the walls as teenagers, but are now loving God and seeking to follow Him. These parents were in a tizzy because their kid was not doing right. While I do understand this, it is very important that we put our faith in God above and not in our children’s behavior below. I have often said to these nervous parents that God saved me when I was 25-years old. It happens. God does not save every person. Neither does He save every person when they are children.

Some of our children will reject God all of their lives and they will die and go to hell. Some of our children will not become converted until they are older adults. These are not satisfying truths for any parent to hear, but we cannot bury our heads in the sand as though these things are not true. They are true and they are undeniably sad. However, that does not take away the truth that God is good. And it should not reduce, alter, or hinder our passion for God.

Do you love God with more passion and faith when your children are righteous and loving God?
Can you love God with ever-increasing faith even though your children are not walking in obedience to God?
Do you carry on-going guilt for the parental mistakes you have made? If so, why do you?
What needs to happen in your heart in order to be free from the guilt of parental mistakes?
Is your faith and freedom in Christ determined by your parenting successes or by Christ’s death on the cross?

Introducing your children to their future
If your children are still in the home, then let me appeal to you to introduce them to our culture. Let me discourage you from trying to control future outcomes by sheltering your children from the world. They will be little people for only a nano-second, but they will be adults for all of their lives. Get them ready now to be adults later.

My friend Willy came from Cameroon a few years ago. He had never been in America and as a 19-year old young man, it was overwhelming in many ways. Willy was not prepared for what our Americanized world was ready and willing to offer him. While Willy is doing fine today, it was a struggle to adjust as an adult to things that were literally foreign to him. If it were possible, it would have been good for Willy to be introduced to America before he was tossed into the middle of America and told to swim. Fortunately, he had a local church stateside that befriended him, served him, helped him, and taught him.

Everyone is not as fortunate. Many children are not that blessed, especially if their parents scare them about the taboos of our culture and never incrementally introduce them to the world where they will spend the majority of their lives. Or maybe the parents simply choose to cut their children off from their culture, which never prepares them to engage the culture as they will inevitably have to engage. The most socially dysfunctional adult Christians that you will ever meet are those who were completely sheltered from the world when they were young. They don’t know how to engage their culture. They have inordinate fears about the culture, borne out of ignorance, poor parenting, and bad theology. I have a friend who told me many years ago that she did not have any unsaved friends.

How sad is that? Jesus had scores of unsaved friends. In fact, all of His friends were unsaved. The Savior penetrated our world, from His place, in order to engage, serve, and convert our world (Philippians 2:5-11). His missionary efforts in our culture are legend. However, the socially ill-prepared cannot model the Savior. My friend can only hope that the world stumbles into her church ready and willing to become like her so she can associate with them.

Equip for the future through present opportunities
When I say “introducing them to the world” I am not talking about teaching them how to curse, drink beer, watch porn, smoke cigarettes, and the like. Stay focused. I am talking about familiarizing them with the ways of the world, while not allowing them to imbibe in it. Our kids should not be surprised about the world when they step into it as adults.

Our home is a laboratory. We are continually stretching our children so we can understand them better, in order to teach them more effectively. If you have more than one child, then you know very well how unique each one of your children are. You cannot do cookie-cutter parenting. For example, to say that alcohol is evil and you’ll go to hell if you drink it is fear-motivated parental ignorance. While it may work on one child, the other child may become a drunk. You must do better than this.

You must understand each one of your children by talking to them and asking them questions, and motivating them according to who they are. You must find out who they are, determine your starting point with each one of them and then plot out a trajectory that will get them to the cross of Christ.

Christ came to where we were in order to bring us to where we needed to be, in Him.

Do you understand your children this way?
Do you give blanket edicts to all of your children, not considering their uniqueness?
How are you customizing your parenting to each of your children?

Let me appeal to you to think big picture. Stretch your children. Give them opportunities to succeed and fail. Both outcomes are hugely important. If they succeed, then you can address any self-righteous or arrogant issues. You can also encourage them when they model humility. The test of prosperity is a wonderful opportunity to parent. If they fail, then you can encourage them by showing them what went wrong and why it went wrong. You can motivate them to address these things and then continue to address their hearts, especially if they sulk or are overly-discouraged.

Failure and success is what their entire life will look like. They will get desired outcomes at times and at other times they will not. You have a wonderful opportunity to walk them through these two realities, which will prepare them for their future.

Hiding your kids under a bushel
Sheltering is an important part of parenting, no doubt. However, that cannot be the beginning and the end of how you parent your children. If it is, then your children will be hard-pressed to be Christlike when their times of future temptation come. You can be easily deceived if you shelter your children until they are adults. Truthfully, you will not be able to know how spiritual they are until they are tested and you DO NOT want them to experience their first test when they are out of the home.

For example, our children have always hung out with adults. We knew that they only had about 12 to 15 years to be kids. They may be adults for 70 or more years. With that in mind, we did not want them to learn how to be an adult when they became an adult. Therefore, we have always had them hanging with adults. They naturally gravitate to their own kind, other kids. That part was easy. We never have had to connect them with other kids. Like a fish to water, they love their own kind. However, we had to be intentional in connecting them with older people.

This is why we have them in small group contexts. This is why we do hospitality. This is why they sit in on a lot of our adult (age appropriate) conversations. While they have not missed out on a thing as children, we have been intentional, by the grace of God, to incrementally introducing them to the big world in which they will spend the majority of their lives.

How are you preparing your children for the rest of their lives?

Let’s get practical
I have purposely stayed away from telling you some of the practical things we do with our kids. The reason for that is because some of my readers may do what we do. That may not be a good fit for you. I don’t want you to necessarily do what we do. My hope is that you will pray to God and ask the Spirit to illuminate your mind in some of the practical ways in which you can parent your child according to the concepts of this article. Parenting is hard work, as you know, and if you want to implement some of the concepts in this article, then I suggest you begin by doing the first hard thing: pray to God, asking for His direction in practically applying this article.

Sometimes we can jump into a book to get answers before we lunge for the throne of grace. We end up doing what that guy did, even though it does not fit our situation exactly. I can promise you that if you humbly pray to God about what I have written here, He will help you to customize your parenting to your specific child.

But if you press me, I will share with you three of a zillion things that we do to incrementally introduce our children to the culture:

We began when our children were four or five years old, depending, teaching them Systematic Theology. [The Sunday school and children’s church curriculum at Faith Bible are systematic theology curriculums]

All three of our kids have bank accounts, the youngest started hers when she was four. Once a month, on a Tuesday, I take one of my children out for lunch. Part of that trip is to the bank. They meet the bankers, get a lollipop and make a deposit. They have three ceramic pigs sitting on the mantel of our living room.

We watch Cops, the TV show, with my hand on the remote. I’m teaching them to respect authority. I want them to love the police, appreciating how they serve us. Primarily we watch so I can teach them how to discern good from evil, while not self-righteously criticizing or laughing at fellow sinners who do dumb things just like each one of us do in our family.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-12-01T16:54:00.001-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

E is for Evangelism
The Gospel is food for believers. But it is also the only saving medicine for those who have not yet believed. And we are compelled by the love of Christ to declare this Good News to all people. St. Francis of Assissi told his friars not to preach unless they had permission to do so. But, he added, “Let all the brothers, however, preach by their deeds.” Francis’s words have often been paraphrased along these lines: “Preach the Gospel always; use words when necessary.” The fact is that words are necessary, every time. We are always witnesses to the Gospel (Acts 1:8) and, as witnesses, we shall be called upon to testify. When we are, we must be sure to get the message of the Gospel right for there are many counterfeit “Gospels” in the world.

MY SUGGESTION TO WIVES ON WHAT TO BUY AND WHAT NOT TO BUY FOR THEIR HUSBANDS

Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.

Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I own 17 and have yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.

Rule #2:
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3:
If you are really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99 cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.

Rule #4:
Never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5:
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.

Rule #6:
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told men do not stink - they are earthy.

Rule #7:
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink."
You get the idea. No one knows why.

Rule #8:
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Christmas and he will always have parts left over. No one knows why.

Rule #9:
Good places to shop for men include Tractor Supply Center, Menards, Home Depot, John Deere, Lowes, and Walker Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. ("From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! thanks.")

Rule #10:
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. (No one knows why.) Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"

Rule #11:
Tickets to a Cornhusker game are a smart gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.

Rule #12:
Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker.

Rule #13:
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.

Rule #14:
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

PARENTS AND THE IMAGE OF GOD
by Matt Lauterbach, Sovereign Grace Ministries, San Diego

I would like to suggest that the doctrine of the image of God is neglected in books on parenting. I cannot remember any emphasis given to it in my thirty years as a pastor. Yet it shapes everything I see and do as a parent.

The Bible is not a list of things to do. It is a way of seeing. When I get inside the Bible and it gets inside me, it is a way of seeing life.

When I pick up my Bible I am given a lens through which to view life. It is a lens colored by major themes: God the Creator, Man the image of God, Sin that corrupts the image, and Christ who redeems and ultimately restores man to his created glory. This is the storyline of the Bible: Creation. Fall, Redemption, and Glorification. Through that lens I view all of life, including parenting.

Parents, including myself, tend to miss part of the lens. We lean toward certain perspectives. We often view all problems with our kids in light of sin. We are tempted to miss redemption, and to view all solutions to sin in terms of morality and moral pressure (as in, “How many times do I have to tell you to clean up your room?”).

We may also see our believing children with inappropriate expectations. We want glorification NOW!

My friend Elyse Fitzpatrick, with her daughter Jessica, has written an exceptional book on bringing the Gospel to our kids. It’s called,“Give Them Grace.” They will help you see your kids in light of redemption in what is one of the clearest treatment of this subject I have seen.

But the Gospel is rooted in creation. And I think we tend to miss the view of our kids as image bearers. And that is not a minor matter.

They are image bearers. They are creatures, made by God and for God. They are given glory and honor by God. They have inherent value, of greater worth than animals. How we treat the image of God is how we treat God. The dignity of humans is built into the Law and the Prophets and the Gospel. And we must see our children as image bearers.

Let me suggest a few things we see when we see them as image bearers.

First, we see them as utter equals in creation and redemption. I may be Dad and a parent and have a responsibility to raise them in the nurture of the Lord, but that child is my equal in dignity. They are, in creation, crowned with glory and honor (Psalm 8).

Sin makes us despise people, especially people beneath us in power. Religion forms crazy rules that excuse cruelty or apathy to needs. Jesus faced this each time he healed on the Sabbath.

Parents can be bullies by treating their children with dishonor. That is sin. The way we treat the image of God is how we treat God.

This means that any act of parenting which demeans, dishonors, shames, or humiliates my child is an assault upon the image of God. Therefore it is an assault upon God. (I would apply the same rigorous test to all exercise of authority, by the way). I wonder if we, as parents, are tempted to use humiliation as a powerful tool to motivate our kids? I wonder if we treat our kids as less than us?

Alongside of this is the evil of the old adage, “Children are to be seen and not heard.” While that may sound like the height or order in the home, it can be applied in a way that despises the child and marginalizes them until they have something adult-like to offer.

Second, it means my child is an individual and has the right to some measure of individuality. Part of being in the image of God is simply: We are individuals well. Children are not an extension of me. They have likes and dislikes that are distinct to them. Parents are to cultivate the child as an individual. I do not mean in the silly self-esteem kind of way, but in a respect for the designs of God in their personality and gifts and preferences. I have to recognize that when my child is someday glorified in Christ, they will be a distinct individual, and not just like me.

My wife has been the one to help us see this. Many years ago, after a “dinner time battle” (over one of our children not finishing their food because they did not like it, and my insisting they do so or be disciplined) my wife inquired, “I was wondering if there are foods you do not like?” I assured her there were and she knew what those were. She then asked, “Do you suppose that our kids being individuals and image bearers have a right to say they do not like certain foods?” Ouch!

She was right. I treated them as extensions of me. I was telling them they had to like and dislike. They are not extensions of me, but image bearers, individuals.

Oh, I know all about the starving children in Africa argument for why our kids should finish their dinner — but that is another example of making everything into a moral issue, of oppression by abuse of power. It creates a moral issue where there is none. Is there a command in the Bible for people to eat everything on their plate?

The fruit of that discussion was simple: we established a policy in our home that we could each have a short list of foods we did not have to eat. My wife cooked around those preferences. One of our kids wanted to change their list every day, but that seemed a little over the top!

Third, they should be given room for self-determination, and increasing room for this as they mature. The goal of parenting is a mature adult, with the ability to make wise decisions in the adult world. Parents, tempted by fear, over-control their kids. We make all their choices for them. We refuse to let them test and learn the path of wisdom by mistakes. We are afraid of mistakes. When they move toward adulthood, we interpret their desire for self-determination in anything as rebellion. I am not so sure.

For us, we sought (unsuccessfully some of the time) to allow them every occasion possible to make up their own minds and choices. This was fenced by biblical holiness and wisdom. But really, it was not all that hard. If we went out to dinner, they could order what they wanted. That was not so easy given our commitment to healthy eating. They could decorate their room as they wanted, they could buy the clothes they wanted, and they learned to manage their own budget for clothes and snacks when they were able to — even if they made bad choices. Of course, there were budget guidelines (no, you cannot build an addition on the home for your room) and moral guidelines (no, that piece of clothing with those words on it are not pleasing to God). But we cultivated them as image bearers.

More subtle than this was appreciating their individuality. There was a distinct temptation as parents to shape their personality. We tried to make the introvert more extroverted. We tried to make the easily excited child into a zen buddhist with superior self-control. Granted there are matters of sin and sanctification in all areas, we appreciating their individuality was honoring the image of God, and remains so to this day when they are all adults.

Obviously there are areas where a child cannot be self-determined. Families must be led from biblical principle. Principle limits the “self-determination” of all. There may be rules as to family meals, church participation — rules that everyone lives with because we are not just a collection of individuals under the same roof, but we are a family.

But I would guess that, if people are like us, the accent for many Christian parents is on unnecessarily restricting self-determination. Perhaps this is a reaction to the lack of order and principle we see around us.

There are other implications.

Last of all, it also helps me see what I am up against: sin. There are times when I saw the image of God clearly in my kids and praised the God of wisdom who made us that way. Really, think of watching your child learn a language. It is a wonder. Think of how they respond to music. It is a reflection of God’s glory.

But sin is present. My child in sin is a distorted version of what they would be apart from sin. As a parent we can see the gifts God has given our kids. We envision what those gifts will look like when they flourish. But we also see the power of sin in their lives. We see the distorting and corrupting influences of sin. The tragedy of sin is on display before our eyes (and also before their eyes in us).

My only hope is for a power great enough to break the rule of sin. That power is in Christ alone. The law will not change their hearts. I cannot lecture them out of their selfishness or humiliate them out of rebellion. I cannot discipline them out of them either. The tough and deep root of sin is only extracted by the blood of Christ applied by the Spirit of God. And that application happens when I tell them of the grace of God won for them at the cross.

Christ died to restore us to being full representations of God’s character. That is what we were made for. That is my real power for parenting. In Christ the image will begin to be restored in this life and glorified in the age to come.

But meanwhile, look at your children as image bearers of God. Treat them as your equals. Treat them as individuals.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-11-23T11:38:00.001-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

D is for Depth
We do not move from the milk of the Gospel to the meat of something else, but from the milk of the Gospel to the meat of the Gospel. Even Paul, concluding his exposition of the Gospel and preparing to move on to its implications for life, closes his argument in awe and wonder: “Oh, the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments and his paths beyond tracing out!” (Rom. 11:33).

The wonder of how deep and powerful the Gospel is– especially as it works its way into believing hearts– is well articulated in this Puritan prayer:

Blessed Lord Jesus,
No human mind could conceive or invent the Gospel.
Acting in eternal grace, thou art both its messenger and its message,
lived out on earth through infinite compassion,
applying thy life to insult, injury, death,
that I might be redeemed, ransomed, freed.
Blessed be thou, O Father, for contriving this way,
Eternal thanks to thee, O Lamb of God, for opening this way,
Praise to thee, O Holy Spirit,
for applying this way to my heart.
Glorious Trinity, impress the Gospel on my soul,
until its virtue diffuses through every faculty;
Let it be heard, acknowledged, professed, felt.

WHY DEB WILL NOT SEND ME OUT SHOPPING THIS SEASON
(Maybe this really happened)

My wife, Deb, was not feeling well last week and to help her out, I volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent me off with a carefully numbered list of seven items to buy.

Returning shortly and being very proud of myself, I unpacked the grocery bags. I had one bag of sugar, two cartons of eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.

She is making sure I stay away from shopping without her this season.

Some Suggestions and Deals for the Family This Holiday Season

My favorite advent readings are from a book titled, “Come, Thou Long-Expected Jesus; Experiencing the Peace and Promise of Christmas” edited by Nancy Guthrie. These are 22 articles that express the focus of the gift of Jesus Christ by a variety of classic theologians and contemporary communicators of the Word. This can be purchased at Westminster Bookstore along with the Bibles mentioned below.

Through Tuesday, November 29, Westminster Bookstore has its children’s Bibles on sale for 45% off. This is a great opportunity to get some of my top picks for kids:

For a small child – “The Big Picture Story Bible” by David Helm
For 4 years old and up – “The Jesus Storybook Bible” by Sally Lloyd-Jones
For readers (First grade on up) – “The ESV Children’s Bible”

SUCCESSFUL PARENTING
By Ed Welch, Christian Counseling Education Foundation

Everyone who has children thinks about the question: How can I be an effective or even successful parent? I have yet to meet a parent who simply wanted to pass children off into the next stage of life with basic physical health intact but nothing more. (Reminds me of the time I babysat a friend’s goldfish while he was on vacation– simple survival- that was my only goal.)

We want our children to thrive, and we want to contribute whatever we can to make that happen.

Parenting, of course, is not a precise recipe. Follow the steps and. . . voila, out pops a fear-of-the-Lord, covenant-keeping, wise young adult. Such parenting would actually oppose the way God does things. All we would have to do is trust in our steps and everything goes fine. Instead, the (much better) system we have received is one where we parent by faith. We trust in Christ every step of the way. We pray tons and love the best we can. Yet, there are some basic directions available to us.

As I get older I have the opportunity of watching many children grow. Some do well, others don’t. I have a mental file of hundreds of conversations about parenting and have observed almost every kind of parenting style imaginable. Here are some of the tendencies that I have noticed in successful parenting.

Successful parents are always learning about Jesus. This is a no-brainer. A pastor once said that his congregation’s greatest need was his [the pastor’s] sanctification. The same goes for successful parenting. God can use blatant hypocrites, but, as a general rule, parents who have a growing knowledge of Jesus do best.

To be a little more specific, successful parents are able to answer the question: What are you learning about Jesus? “Learning,” in this case, like “knowledge” is no mere academic accumulation of facts. It is the intimate knowledge and learning that take place in the closest of relationships and inspire us to love the other person more deeply. This means that these parents are talking about how they are learning about Jesus rather than lecturing their children about Jesus.

I was in a conversation recently that was headed toward that question: What are you learning about Jesus? I had probably thirty seconds to consider my answer.

It was one of the more painful thirty seconds of my life.

My mind was blank. Nothing to say. I might have been a little embarrassed, but I was more grieved by the dryness of my own heart. So I asked the person to pray that I would never have that experience again.

Successful parents can tell you how they are personally learning about Jesus. Hopefully, that group also includes those who want to be personally learning about Jesus but miss a few days here and there.

Successful parents talk about Jesus with their children. If you are learning about Jesus, you talk about him. Successful parents talk about Jesus naturally in the course of their day. In this, they are following the earliest of biblical guidelines.

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children." (Deuteronomy 4:9-10)

Jesus is a part of their everyday life and their children hear about it. Some children might suggest that the parent is being a little over-spiritual, but my observation is that children’s – or, more often, teen’s – complaints about references to Christ are akin to children’s complaints about parental affection in that they don’t like it but they don’t really want their parents to stop doing it.

Successful parents don’t mind imposing tight boundaries. I want to be careful on this one because “tight boundaries” can become an excuse for parental fear and anger more than parental love and wisdom. What I am thinking of has more of that Proverbs feel to it. Children are prone to foolishness and they don’t do too well at establishing their own boundaries, so we help them. There are times we say no to requests to sleep over at someone else’s house. Other times we call the other parents before we let a child or teen go to someone’s house. We want to know where our children are, and we are willing to get evidence that they were actually there. When boundaries are done in love, and parents listen to the advice of other wise people, I have never seen a child permanently scarred by tight boundaries, though I have known many children declare that they would be forever harmed by a parental no. I have seen children who lived with loose boundaries indulge in sins that had long-term consequences.

Successful parents love in a way that leads toward a friendship. Friends enjoy one another. They have a genuine appreciation for each other. They like each other. We are warned that we are our children’s parents, not their friends, and I think I understand what that warning is addressing, but my observation is that parents who aim for friendship with their maturing children are the ones who have most successful spiritual influence on them. Children share their hearts in such a context. Parents ask forgiveness. Parents even seek advice.

As a recent example, I know a young man who anyone would be proud to have as a son—late-twenties, faithful to his wife and friends, pastoral and caring in relationships. I just met his father. He had flown to see his son so that they would be able to drive one-on-one to a vacation area where the families were staying. This father clearly loved his son. Most fathers do. Yet his expression of love was most striking. He admired his son. He felt as though he was watching his son surpass him in spiritual understanding and growth, which wasn’t the case but it is a good thing to think. And he had a list of questions for the twelve-hour drive.

How are you really doing? What are you learning in life… as a father, husband, friend, worker? What are you learning about Jesus? What books are you reading? Tell me about your church?

These questions weren’t an interrogation. The father was prepared to answer the questions too so that both father and son would be sharpened (Proverbs 27:17). But mostly, he just wanted to savor the growth in another person. And as I listened to him further, he had all the qualities of a successful parent.

Successful parents know there are no guarantees. You can do all the things I’ve talked about and still have wayward kids. There is no formula or one-to-one correspondence between faithful parenting and “success”– that would violate the creative and grace-filled ways of the Spirit. God calls us to provide good soil conditions but He alone gives the increase. As we lean on Him, He teaches us how to participate in creative and grace-filled ways with our kids as we give unexpected gifts, become servants rather than masters, extend patience and kindness toward them, and walk with Him in one of life’s great adventures.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-11-17T16:32:00.001-06:00

The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

C is for Contextualization
Paul was determined to “become all things to all people” for the sake of the Gospel (1 Cor. 9:19-23). He knew that the Gospel could and should take on different cultural forms in different cultural settings. Yet when we export the Gospel to others, we may be guilty of confusing it with our own cultural trappings. For example, we know that some missionaries have been guilty of imposing their Western cultural forms on those to whom they carried the Gospel. Though this error could be conscious and express cultural imperialism, it is more often unconscious and reflects a lack of discernment about which aspects of our own Christianity are truly Gospel-driven and transcultural, and which are culturally driven and therefore variable. To help us avoid such an error, it is critical that we continually study the heart of the Gospel so that we may better distinguish the treasure we bear from the jars of clay in which we bear it (2 Cor. 4:7).

THANKSGIVING IN ENGLAND
(Maybe this really happened)

I grew up in a very British home in New York, where we often had family guests from England and Ireland. One year at Thanksgiving we had several guests from England at our home for the celebration and, out of curiosity, I asked if Thanksgiving was celebrated back in England. “Yes,” replied my relative, “but we celebrate it on the 6th of September.” “Why?” I inquired. He answered, “It is the day the Mayflower launched from England and you chaps left.”

THE TRUE THANKSGIVING STORY
by Dennis Rupert

It seems that every year we are treated to articles attempting to disprove the "myth of Thanksgiving." In these articles we are told that:

the Pilgrims weren't the first people in America to hold a thanksgiving
the first thanksgiving had no religious significance at all, but was merely a harvest festival
our traditional Thanksgiving dinner has nothing in common with the Pilgrim's meal

Some of these accusations are not a serious concern. After all, who cares if the Pilgrims served cranberries or not? But what seems to lie behind some of these articles is a desire to devalue the religious nature of our present Thanksgiving holiday. This is unfortunate since Thanksgiving is one of the few holidays on the America calendar that is not swept away with commercialism or mixed with pagan elements.

So here is "The True Thanksgiving Story." We have included references to primary sources which you can read for yourself. After reading I believe that you will still be able to eat your turkey with a happy stomach and a grateful heart to God.

Who observed the first Thanksgiving?
Okay, it wasn't the Pilgrims. Of course, native Americans celebrated many thanksgiving festivals before Europeans ever arrived in America. For example, the Wampanoag (Indian allies of the Pilgrims) held six thanksgiving festivals during the year.

The first recorded Christian thanksgiving in America occurred in Texas on May 23, 1541 when Spanish explorer, Francisco Vasquez de Coronado, and his men held a service of thanksgiving after finding food, water, and pasture for their animals in the Panhandle.

Another thanksgiving service occurred on June 30, 1564 when French Huguenot colonists celebrated in solemn praise and thanksgiving in a settlement near what is now Jacksonville, Florida.

On August 9, 1607 English settlers led by Captain George Popham joined Abnaki Indians along Maine's Kennebec River for a harvest feast and prayer meeting. The colonists, living under the Plymouth Company charter, established Fort St. George around the same time as the founding of Virginia's Jamestown colony. Unlike Jamestown, however, this site was abandoned a year later.

Two years before the Pilgrims on December 4, 1619, a group of 38 English settlers arrived at Berkeley Plantation in what is now Charles City, Virginia. The group's charter required that the day of arrival be observed yearly as a day of thanksgiving to God. Captain John Woodleaf held the service of thanksgiving. Here is the section of the Charter of Berkley Plantation which specifies the thanksgiving service:

"Wee ordaine that the day of our ships arrival at the place assigned for plantacon in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually keept holy as a day of thanksgiving to Almighty god."

In addition to 1619, the colonists perhaps held service in 1620 and 1621. The colony was wiped out in 1622. It was a private event, limited to the Berkeley settlement.

Thus Spanish, French and British colonists held several Thanksgiving services in America before the Pilgrim's celebration in 1621. Most of these early thanksgivings did not involve feasting. They were religious in nature, i.e. worship services of thankfulness to God.

What about the Pilgrim's Thanksgiving?
In a children's book called "The First Thanksgiving", the author, Jean Craighead George says, the Pilgrims left Europe "to seek their fortune in the New World."1 That would have come as news to the Pilgrims themselves. Pilgrim leader William Bradford wrote in his diary that the voyage was motivated by "a great hope for advancing the kingdom of Christ."

The Pilgrims set aground at Plymouth Rock on December 11, 1620. Their first winter was devastating. Weakened by the seven-week crossing and the need to establish housing, they came down with pneumonia and consumption. They began to die -- one per day, then two, and sometimes three. They dug the graves at night, so that the Indians would not see how their numbers were dwindling. At one point, there were only seven persons able to fetch wood, make fires, and care for the sick. By the spring, they had lost 46 of the original 102 who sailed on the Mayflower.2

The Pilgrims obviously needed help and it came from an English-speaking member of the Wampanoag nation, Squanto. Squanto decided to stay with the Pilgrims for the next few months and teach them how to survive. He brought them food and skins, taught them how to cultivate new vegetables and how to build Indian-style houses. He educated the Pilgrims on poisonous plants, medicine, how to get sap from the maple trees, use fish for fertilizer, and dozens of other skills needed for their survival.

The harvest of 1621 was a bountiful one and the remaining colonists decided to celebrate with a feast. The author of "The First Thanksgiving" states, "This was not a day of Pilgrim thanksgiving." Instead, she writes, "This was pure celebration."3 This is the type of subtle statement that often occurs in reading about the Pilgrim's first thanksgiving. It is not based on factual history, however. One can only guess at the motives of people who write such things, but statements like this appear to be motivated by a desire to rob the event of any religious meaning.

It is quite true that the word "thanksgiving" is not used in referring to the feast. Much is made of this by secular authors who attempt to reinterpret the Pilgrim thanksgiving. But the only letter that we have telling us about the first Thanksgiving praises God for the harvest, makes reference to the "goodness of God" in providing for them, and says that the feast was held so that they "might after a special manner rejoice together."4 That sounds like a Thanksgiving feast to me!

The event occurred between September 21 and November 11, 1621, with the most likely time being around Michaelmas (September 29), the traditional time for English harvest homes. The settlers asked Squanto and the leader of the Wampanoags, Massasoit, to bring their immediate family and to dine with them. The English had no idea how large Indian families could be and Squanto and Massasoit arrived accompanied by 90 relatives. The feast lasted three days. The Pilgrims and Indians ate outdoors at large tables and competed together in tests of skill and strength.5

Governor William Bradford sent "four men fowling" after wild ducks, geese, and turkey.6 The warriors brought five deer. The feast probably consisted of the following items (constructed from original sources and historical research by the Plimoth Plantation):

Seethed [boiled] Lobster
Roasted Goose
Boiled Turkey
Fricase of Coney
Pudding of Indian Corn Meal with dried Whortleberries
Seethed Cod
Roasted Duck
Stewed Pumpkin
Roasted Venison with Mustard Sauce
Savory Pudding of Hominy
Fruit and Holland Cheese

Were there other thanksgiving feasts held by the Pilgrims?
The Pilgrim's first thanksgiving feast was not repeated the following year. In the third year, when many of them had become preoccupied with cultivating more land, and building on to their houses, and planting extra corn for trading with the Indians, they were stricken by a prolonged drought. Week followed week with no rain, until even the Indians had no recollection of such a thing ever happening before. The sun-blasted corn withered on its stalks and became tinder dry, and beneath it the ground cracked open and was so powdery that any normal rain would be of little use. And still the heavens were as brass.

Finally, in July, Governor Bradford called a council of the chief men. It was obvious that God was withholding the rain for a reason, and they had better find out why. Bradford declared a day of fasting, humiliation and prayer, and they gathered in their blockhouse church and began to search their hearts. It turned out that even these 'saints', had things to repent for -- spiritual pride, jealousy, vindictiveness, and greed, as well as a number of broken relationships. One after another, as they became convicted, they asked God's forgiveness and that of their fellow Pilgrims.

A tender, peaceful spirit grew among them and was enhanced as each hour passed. Late in the afternoon, as they emerged from the blockhouse, the sky which that morning had been hard and clear (as it had been every morning for nearly two months), was now covered with clouds all around them. The following morning, it began to rain -- a gentle rain that continued on and off for fourteen days straight. Writing of it, Bradford said:

"It came, without either wind, or thunder, or any violence, and by degreese in yt abundance, as that ye earth was thorowly wete and soked therwith. Which did so apparently revive & quicken ye decayed corne & other fruits, as was wonderfull to see, and made ye Indeans astonished to behold; and afterwards the Lord sent them shuch seasonable showers, with enterchange of faire warme weather, as, through his blessing, caused a fruitfull & liberall harvest, to their no small comforte and rejoycing."

Their harvest that fall, was so abundant that they ended up with a surplus -- to the benefit of Indians to the north who had not had a good growing season. To everyone's delight, the Governor "sett aparte a day of thanksgiveing" and apparently once again invited Chief Massasoit and his braves to eat with them.7

A generation later, after the balance of power had shifted to the English settlers, the Indian and White children of that first Thanksgiving were striving to kill each other in the conflict known as King Philip's War. The settlers prevailed and in June of 1676 another Day of Thanksgiving was proclaimed. The governing council of Charlestown, Massachusetts, held a meeting to determine how best to express thanks for the victories in "Warr with the Heathen Natives of this land." By unanimous vote they instructed Edward Rawson, the clerk, to proclaim June 29 as a day of thanksgiving. The following is part of that proclamation:

"The Council has thought meet to appoint and set apart the 29th day of this instant June, as a day of Solemn Thanksgiving and praise to God for such his Goodness and Favour, many Particulars of which mercy might be Instanced, but we doubt not those who are sensible of God's Afflictions, have been as diligent to espy him returning to us; and that the Lord may behold us as a People offering Praise and thereby glorifying Him; the Council doth commend it to the Respective Ministers, Elders and people of this Jurisdiction; Solemnly and seriously to keep the same Beseeching that being persuaded by the mercies of God we may all, even this whole people offer up our bodies and souls as a living and acceptable Service unto God by Jesus Christ."

Was Thanksgiving practiced during the early days of the United States?
December 18, 1777 marked the first time that all 13 colonies joined in a thanksgiving celebration. It commemorated the patriotic victory over the British at Saratoga:

"It is therefore recommended by Congress, that Thursday the 18th. day of December next be set apart for Solemn Thanksgiving and Praise; that at one time, and with one voice, the good people may express the grateful feelings of their hearts, and consecrate themselves to the service of their divine benefactor; and that, together with their sincere acknowledgements and offerings they may join the penitent confession of their sins; and supplications for such further blessings as they stand in need of."

President George Washington proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving for November 26, 1789 to honor the formation of the United States government. His proclamation called for a day of prayer and giving thanks to God. It was to be celebrated by all religious denominations, but discord among the colonies prevented it from being practiced by all the states. Washington wrote in his November 26th diary entry: "Being the day appointed for a thanksgiving I went to St. Paul's Chapel though it was most inclement and stormy--but few people at Church." President Washington later provided money, food, and beer to debtors spending the holiday in a New York City jail.

Thanksgiving failed to become an annual tradition at this time. Only Presidents Washington, Adams, and Madison declared national days of thanks in their terms. Thomas Jefferson and John Quincy Adams considered the practice to infringe upon the separation of church and state. During the War of 1812, President Madison proclaimed three days of fasting and prayer in response to Congressional requests (August 20, 1812, September 9, 1813, and January 12, 1815). He was the last president to call for a national thanksgiving until Abraham Lincoln in 1863. Governors, on the other hand--particularly in the New England states, regularly issued proclamations of thanksgiving.

How did Thanksgiving become a yearly national practice?
It was Sarah Josepha Hale, a magazine editor, whose efforts eventually led to what we recognize as Thanksgiving. Hale wrote many editorials championing her cause in her Boston Ladies' Magazine, and later, in Godey's Lady's Book. She was fired with the determination of having the whole nation join together in setting apart a national day for giving thanks "unto Him from who all blessings flow."

In 1830, New York proclaimed an official state "Thanksgiving Day." Other states soon followed its example. The Territory of Minnesota celebrated its first Thanksgiving Day on December 26, 1850. The whole territory, including all of what is now the State of Minnesota plus the Dakotas as far west as the Missouri River, contained approximately 6,000 settlers but the book, "The Frontier Holiday", describes a spirited celebration. Territory Governor, Alexander Ramsey, proclaimed the day of thanks:

"Young in years as a community, we have come into the wilderness, in the midst of savage men and uncultivated nature to found a new empire in aid of our pursuit of happiness, and to extend the area of enlightened republican Liberty . . . . Let us in the public temple of religion, by the fireside and family altar, on the prairie and in the forest, join in the expression of our gratitude, of our devotion to the God who brought our fathers safely through the perils of an early revolution, and who thus continues his favors to the remotest colonies of his sons."

By 1852, Hale's campaign succeeded in uniting 29 states in marking the last Thursday of November as "Thanksgiving Day."

Finally, after a 40-year campaign of writing editorials and letters to governors and presidents, Hale's passion became a reality. On September 28, 1863, Sarah Josepha Hale wrote a letter to President Lincoln and urged him to have the "day of our annual Thanksgiving made a National and fixed Union Festival." On October 3, 1863, President Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November as a national day "of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father." Here is the text of Lincoln's proclamation:

By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.
The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.8

Lincoln issued a similar proclamation in 1864. U.S. presidents maintained the holiday on the last Thursday of November for 75 years (with the exception of Andrew Johnson designating the first Thursday in December as Thanksgiving Day 1865 and Ulysses Grant choosing the third Thursday for Thanksgiving Day 1869).

In 1939, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt declared the next-to-last Thursday of the month (November 23rd) to be Thanksgiving Day. This break with tradition was prompted by requests from the National Retail Dry Goods Association. Since 1939 had five Thursdays in November, this would create a longer Christmas shopping season. While governors usually followed the president's lead with state proclamations for the same day, on this year, twenty-three states observed Thanksgiving Day on November 23rd, the "Democratic" Thanksgiving. Twenty-three states celebrated on November 30th, Lincoln's "Republican" Thanksgiving. Texas and Colorado declared both Thursdays to be holidays.

After two years of public outcry and confusion, Congress introduced the legislation to ensure that future presidential proclamations could not impact the scheduling of the holiday. They established Thanksgiving Day as the fourth Thursday in November. The legislation took effect in 1942. Their plan to designate the fourth Thursday of the month allowed Thanksgiving Day to fall on the last Thursday five out of seven years.

Thanksgiving and Christians
There are those who want to remove any thought of God from our Thanksgiving celebrations. They wish to secularize the holiday and they reinvent history to attempt to prove their point. But it is evident from reading primary sources that Thanksgiving in America was always about giving thanks to God.

It is a Christian command and privilege to be grateful for the blessings of God (Deuteronomy 8:10; Psalm 107:19,21; Colossians 1:12-14; Philippians 1:3). Our Thanksgiving celebration is a wonderful reminder to "give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever" (1 Chronicles 16:34).

The Rev. Benjamin Arnett was a prominent African American cleric in the Ohio AME Church. He preached a Thanksgiving sermon during the centennial of our nation on November 30, 1876. His sermon is a beautiful expression of gratitude to God for national blessings and a call to continue to pursue righteousness for ourselves and our nation (Proverbs 14:34):

Following the tracks of righteousness throughout the centuries and along the way of nations, we are prepared to recommend it to all and assert without a shadow of doubt, that 'Righteousness exalted a nation'; but on the other hand following the foot-prints of sin amid the ruins of Empires and remains of cities, we will say that 'sin is a reproach to any people.' But we call on all American citizens to love their country, and look not on the sins of the past, but arming ourselves for the conflict of the future, girding ourselves in the habiliments of Righteousness, march forth with the courage of a Numidian lion and with the confidence of a Roman Gladiator, and meet the demands of the age, and satisfy the duties of the hour.

Let us be encouraged in our work, for we have found the moccasin track of Righteousness all along the shore of the stream of life, constantly advancing holding humanity with a firm hand. We have seen it 'through' all the confusion of rising and falling States, of battle, siege and slaughter, of victory and defeat; through the varying fortunes and ultimate extinctions of Monarchies, Republics and Empires; through barbaric irruption and desolation, feudal isolation, spiritual supremacy, the heroic rush and conflict of the Cross and Crescent; amid the busy hum of industry, through the marts of trade and behind the gliding keels of commerce.

And in America, the battle-field of modern thought, we can trace the foot-prints of the one and the tracks of the other. So let us use all of our available forces, and especially our young men, and throw them into the conflict of the Right against the Wrong.

Then let the grand Centennial Thanksgiving song be heard and sung in every house of God; and in every home may thanksgiving sounds be heard, for our race has been emancipated, enfranchised and are now educating, and have the gospel preached to them!

1 Jean Craighead George, The First Thanksgiving, (New York: Philomel Books, 1993).
2 Of Plimoth Plantation by William Bradford, original manuscript, written 1647, (1901 Edition).
3 Jean Craighead George, The First Thanksgiving., (New York: Philomel Books, 1993).
4 Edward Winslow's letter, written December 11, 1621.
5 Edward Winslow's letter, written December 11, 1621.
6 William Bradford's comments from Of Plimoth Plantation by William Bradford.
7 Of Plimoth Plantation by William Bradford, original manuscript, written 1647, (1901 Edition).
8 The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln, edited by Roy P. Basler.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-11-10T16:50:00.001-06:00

NEW FEATURE: The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller

B is for Belief
We must continually teach and learn the Gospel because even Christians struggle to believe God’s Good News. The message of the cross is both countercultural and counterintuitive. To the world it is foolishness and weakness. To our flesh it is simply too good to be true. And Satan, the devil– that accuser of the brethren– continually speaks a contradictory word to our hearts. He accuses us before God as surely as he accused Joshua the high priest (Zech. 3:1). Hearing all this we, with full knowledge of our failings, struggle to believe the truth of the Gospel. To believe it at an appropriately deep level, with an appropriate appreciation of all that it presupposes and implies, is a lifelong task. We must hear it again and again and ask God to seal its truth in our hearts. ”I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

A THANKSGIVING COOKBOOK
by Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten Class

NOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be responsible for medical bills resulting from use of her cookbook

Ivette - Banana Pie
You buy some bananas and crust. Then you mash them up and put them in the pie. Then you eat it.

Russell - Turkey
You cut the turkey up and put it in the oven for ten minutes and 300 degrees. You put gravy on it and eat it.

Geremy - Turkey
You buy the turkey and take the paper off. Then you put it in the refrigerator and take it back out and cut it with a knife and make sure all the wires are out and take out the neck and heart. Then you put it in a big pan and cook it for half an hour at 80 degrees. Then you invite people over and eat.

Meghan H. - Turkey
You cut it into 16 pieces and then you leave it in the oven for 15 minutes and 4 degrees. you take it out and let it cool and then after 5 minutes, then you eat it.

Danny - Turkey
You put some salt on it to make it taste good. Then you put it in the oven. Then you cook it for an hour at 5 degrees. Then you eat it.

Megan K - Chicken
You put it in the oven for 25 minutes and 25 degrees and put gravy on it and eat it.

Christa - Cookies
Buy some dough and smash it and cut them out. Then put them in the oven for 2 hours at 100 degrees. Then take them out and dry them off. Then it's time to eat them.

Irene - Turkey
Put it on a plate and put it in the oven with gravy. You cook it for 1 minute and for 100 degrees. Then it's all cooked. Your mom or dad cuts it and then eat.

Moriah - Turkey
First you cut the bones out. Then you put it in the oven for 10 hours at 600 degrees. Then you put it on the table and eat it.

Vincent - Turkey
You cut and put sauce on it. Then you cook it for 18 minutes at 19 degrees. Then you eat it with stuffing.

Grace - Turkey
First you add some salt. Then you put it in a bowl. Then you put brown sugar on it. Then you mix it all together with a spoon and then you add some milk and mix it again. And then you put it in a pan. Then you put it in the oven for 15 minutes and 16 degrees. Then you take it out of the oven and then you eat it.

Alan - Turkey
First you shoot it and then you cut it. And then you put it in the oven and cook it for 10 minutes and 20 degrees. You put it on plates and then you eat it.

Jason - Chicken Pie
Put the chicken in the pot and put the salad and cheese and mustard and then you mix it all together. Then put chicken sauce and stir it all around again. Then you cook it for 5 minutes at 9 degrees. Then you eat it.

Jordan - Cranberry Pie
Put cranberry juice in it. Then you put berries in it. Then you put dough in it. Then you bake it. Then you eat it.

Adam - Pumpkin Pie
First you put pumpkin seeds in it. Put it in a pan and bake it at 5 degrees for 6 minutes. Then take it out and eat it.

Jarryd - Deer Jerky
Put it in the oven overnight at 20 degrees. Then you go hunting and bring it with you. Then you eat it.

Nicholas - White and Brown Pudding
First you read the wrapper. Get a piece of water. Stir. Then you eat it.

Lauren - Turkey
First you find a turkey and kill it. Cut it open. Put it in a pan. Pour milk in the pan. Put a little chicken with it. Put salsa on it. Take out of pan. Put it on the board. Cut into little pieces. Put on a rack. Put in the oven for 7 minutes at 10 degrees. Take out of the oven and put eensy weensy bit of sugar on it. Put a little more salsa on it. Then you eat it.

Tommy - Pumpkin
Cook the pumpkin. Then get ready to eat the pumpkin

GRACE-BASED PARENTING vs. FEAR-BASED PARENTING
From Tim Kimmel’s chapter “The Freedom to Make Mistakes” in his book Grace-Based Parenting

Legalistic parents maintain a relationship with God through obedience to a standard. The goal of this when it comes to their children is to keep sin from getting into their home. They do their best to create an environment that controls as many of the avenues as possible that sin could use to work its way into the inner sanctum. . . . It’s as though the power to sin or not to sin was somehow connected to their personal will power and resolve. . . . These families are preoccupied with keeping sin out by putting a fence between them and the world.

The difference with grace-based families is that they don’t bother spending much time putting fences up because they know full well that sin is already present and accounted for inside their family. To these types of parents, sin is not an action or an object that penetrates their defenses; it is a preexisting condition that permeates their being. The graceless home requires kids to be good and gets angry and punishes them when they are bad. The grace-based home assumes kids will struggle with sin and helps them learn how to tap into God’s power to help them get stronger.

It’s not that grace-based homes don’t take their children’s sin seriously. Nor is it that grace-based homes circumvent consequences. It isn’t even that grace-based homes do nothing to protect their children from attacks and temptations that threaten them from the outside. They do all these things, but not for the same reasons. Grace-based homes aren’t trusting in the moral safety of their home or the spiritual environment they’ve created to empower their children to resist sin. . . . They assume that sin is an ongoing dilemma that their children must constantly contend with.

[Children in a grace-based family] are accepted as sinners who desire to become more like Christ rather than be seen as nice Christian kids trying to maintain a good moral code. Grace is committed to bringing children up from their sin; legalism puts them on a high standard and works overtime to keep them from falling down.

Grace understands that the only real solution for our children’s sin is the work of Christ on their behalf. . . . Legalism uses outside forces to help children maintain their moral walk. Their strength is based on the environment they live in. Grace, on the other hand, sees the strength of children by what is inside them—more specifically, Who is inside them.

HT: Justin Taylor

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-10-27T16:27:00.002-05:00

NEW FEATURE: The Gospel Alphabet by Timothy Keller
After several years, we are done (for now) with the children’s catechism. For the next 26 issues of Parents and Kids of Faith, we will cover the Gospel Alphabet or the A through Z of the Christian Life.

A is for Alignment
We must continually teach and learn the Gospel because it is to be the “plumb line” for our doctrine and our living. We are to measure all our teaching to ensure that it is in line with– that is, conformed to– the glorious Gospel of God (1 Tim. 1:11). If our teaching about God, humanity, sin, salvation, the church, last things, and whatever other doctrines we may teach do not accord with the Gospel then they must be rejected. Likewise, our way of living must conform to the sound doctrines that flow from the Gospel. If, like Peter and Barnabas, we begin to act in ways that are “not in keeping with the truth of the Gospel” (Gal. 2:14), may God raise up for us a Paul-like brother or sister to confront us and correct us.

A VISIT TO THE NURSING HOME
(Maybe this really happened)

Our small group (FLOCK) does a monthly ministry to a nursing home in the city, and we try to minister to the residents who attend on other occasions as well. It has been a particularly rewarding ministry to do with our grandsons as they learn outreach and compassion.

On one of our visits with 3 of my grandsons to the residents, there was a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table and we all started to snack on them. When we were ready to leave, I reminded the boys to thank the man for his kindness to let us have the peanuts. So each boy did so very politely and the man replied, “You’re welcome. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them."

MONDAY IS NOT ONLY HALLOWEEN
Teach Your Children About the Reformation
(Taken from The Reformation: How a Monk and a Mallet Changed the World by Stephen J. Nichols)

Historians like dates. And one of the dates that historians like best is October 31, 1517. On that day one monk with mallet in hand nailed a document to the church door in Wittenberg. It contained a list of Ninety-Five Theses for a debate. The immediate concern was an indulgence sale to finance St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome and the Sistine Chapel—Michelangelo didn’t come cheap. Martin Luther, the mallet-wielding monk, could keep silent no longer. He got much more than a debate, however. He and his list of Ninety-Five Theses triggered a Reformation that would sweep across his native German lands, across Europe, and eventually across the entire world. The world would never be the same. Luther’s act gave birth to the Protestant church, now nearly 600 million members strong. Luther’s act also brought the world out of medieval times and into the modern age. Little wonder historians like the date of October 31, 1517.

While we like that date, and Luther for that matter, the Reformation is a much broader event than that singular day. To be sure, the Reformation began on that day. The Reformation, however, spanned two centuries and encompassed a cast of characters from a variety of nations. Luther may very well be at the center of the Reformation, but he does not stand alone.

THE LESSONS OF THE REFORMATION
The things that matter most to us all center on the gospel. The church simply can’t afford to forget the lesson of the Reformation about the utter supremacy of the gospel in everything the church does. Elie Wiesel, Nobel Prize winner and Holocaust survivor, has dedicated his life to bearing witness to the unimaginable horrors and atrocities of the Holocaust. He speaks of the unspeakable. And he does so because humanity cannot afford to forget the lesson of the Holocaust. It is far too easy to forget, especially when forgetting eases our conscience. History, however, compels us to remember. In studying the Reformation, we remember what the church is all about, and we remember how easy it is for the church to lose its grip on the gospel.

If he said it once, Martin Luther said it a hundred times: “The church’s true treasure is the gospel.” Luther lived at a time when this true treasure had been traded for something worth far less. As a monk, he stood in a long line of succession that stretched back through centuries of theologians and churchmen who had heaped up layer upon layer of extrabiblical teaching and practice, obscuring the church’s true treasure of the gospel. Like scaffolding that surrounds and hides the beauty of a building, these layers needed to be torn down so the object that mattered could be seen without hindrance and without obstruction. Luther, with a little help from his friends, tore down the scaffolding, revealing the beauty and wonder of the gospel for the church once again. Luther called his own (re)discovery of the gospel a “breakthrough” (durchbruch in German).

In the process he brought about an entire revolution of church life, practice, and doctrine. Many of the doctrines that we Protestants take for granted find their crystallized expression in the thought of the Reformers. Theologians speak of the Solas, from the Latin word sola, meaning “alone.”

Usually we list five Solas:

1. Sola Scriptura, meaning “Scripture alone”: The Bible is the sole and final authority in all matters of life and godliness. The church looks to the Bible as its ultimate authority.
2. and 3. Sola Gratia, meaning “grace alone,” and Sola Fide, meaning “faith alone”: Salvation is by grace alone through faith alone. It is not by works; we come to Christ empty-handed. This is the great doctrine of justification by faith alone, the cornerstone of the Reformation.
4. Solus Christus, meaning “Christ alone”: There is no other mediator between God and sinful humanity than Christ. He alone, based on his work on the cross, grants access to the Father.
5. Soli Deo Gloria, meaning “the glory of God alone”: All of life can be lived for the glory of God; everything we do can and should be done for his glory. The Reformers called this the doctrine of vocation, viewing our work and all the roles we play in life as a calling.

These doctrines form the bedrock of all that we believe, and the Reformers gave these doctrines their finest expression. In addition to the doctrines we routinely believe, the Reformers also laid out for us many of the practices of the church that we take for granted. The church had lost sight of the sermon, celebrating the Mass instead. The Reformers returned the sermon to the church service. In the case of the Puritans in England, they returned it with a vengeance.

Congregations didn’t sing in the centuries leading up to the Reformation. In fact, Jan Hus, one of the pre-Reformation reformers, was condemned as a heretic for, among other things, having his congregation sing. Luther and the other Reformers restored congregational singing to the church. Knowing this should humble us every time we sing in church. We should offer our heartfelt thanks to Luther, and we should remember what Hus gave for the privilege.

For an excellent book on church history for children, get The Church History ABCs: Augustine and 25 Other Heroes of the Faith by Stephen J. Nichols (I did for my grandboys and they love it)

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-10-21T08:36:00.002-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What does the conclusion to the Lord’s Prayer teach us?
Answer: The conclusion of the Lord’s Prayer, which is, “For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever, Amen,” teaches us to take our encouragement in prayer from God only and in our prayers to praise him, ascribing kingdom, power, and glory to him, and in testimony of our desire and assurance to be heard, we say Amen.
Scripture: Matthew 6:13; Daniel 9:18; 19:1; 1 Chronicles 29:11-13; 1 Corinthians 14:16; Philippians 4:6; Revelatins 22:20.

WHAT TO DO WITH 5 PUMPKINS THIS WEEKEND
Why not buy 5 pumpkins and put this out front for potential trick-or-treaters.

Christians and Halloween: HALLOWEEN – TRICK OR TREAT?

Will you participate in Halloween this year?
By Tim Challies, author of “The Discipline of Spiritual Discernment”
(with some editing and comments by Pastor George. The opinions of Tim are ones that I generally agree with and so I offer this article as an expression of what my answers would be like if asked the same questions about Halloween)

Halloween is once again nearly upon us and articles about the occasion are beginning to make their way into the airways and writings of Christian pundits (Thought I would throw that term in since it is being so overused right now). Grace to You Ministries by John MacArthur has an article that deals well with the subject, seeking to answer these questions: "How should Christians respond to Halloween? Is it irresponsible for parents to let their children trick-or-treat? What about Christians who refuse any kind of celebration during the season--are they overreacting?"

The article spells out several legitimate ways Christians will react to Halloween:

Some will adopt a "No Participation" policy. As Christian parents, they don't want their kids participating in spiritually compromising activities--listening to ghost stories and coloring pictures of witches. They don't want their kids to dress up in costumes for trick-or-treating or even attending Halloween alternatives.
Other Christians will opt for Halloween alternatives called "Harvest Festivals" or "Reformation Festivals"--the kids dress up as farmers, Bible characters, or Reformation heroes. It's ironic when you consider Halloween's beginning as an alternative, but it can be an effective means of reaching out to neighborhood families with the gospel. Some churches leave the church building behind and take acts of mercy into their community, "treating" needy families with food baskets, gift cards, and the gospel message.
There's another option open to Christians: limited, non-compromising participation in Halloween. There's nothing inherently evil about candy, costumes, or trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. In fact, all of that can provide a unique gospel opportunity with neighbors. Even handing out candy to neighborhood children--provided you're not stingy--can improve your reputation among the kids. As long as the costumes are innocent and the behavior does not dishonor Christ, trick-or-treating can be used to further gospel interests.

I appreciate the sensitivity the authors display in dealing with what is a difficult topic. It is my (both of us) conviction that this is, in many ways, an issue of conscience. I do not believe there is absolute right and wrong here--we can't be too dogmatic about it. Each person (and, in particular, I believe, each father) must examine the Bible and his conscience to see where that leads him. It may lead him to any of these options, each of which can be legitimate. The Bible says nothing about Halloween, though certainly there are principles we can find that will help guide us. But ultimately I believe we have to trust our biblically-informed consciences and our sanctified reasoning to guide us. Let me share where this has led me.

My conviction has long been that it would be a poor witness to the neighbors if my family were to refuse to participate in Halloween; it would be inconsistent with the way Aileen and I feel we are to live within this neighborhood. This day provides a unique opportunity to interact with neighbors, to enjoy their children and to prove that Christians are part of the community and not merely people who want only to interact with Christian friends or to only interact in our own way and on our own terms. Aileen and I are fully part of the community around us and look forward to being part of the community events that happen here. And so we allow our children to go out trick-or-treating, provided they do not wear evil or occult costumes. It still feels like a bit of a compromise, and admittedly one with which I am not entirely comfortable. Yet I would struggle far more with turning out the lights or finding something else to do that evening.

The truth is that I have several convictions regarding Halloween. I despise the pagan aspects of it. I am convicted that my children should not dress as little devils or ghosts or monsters or otherwise glory in evil. But I am also convicted that it is a poor witness to have a darkened house, especially in a neighborhood like ours which is small and where every person and every home is highly-visible. We know that, if we choose not to participate, the neighbors will notice and assume that we feel somehow above them for not participating (and that we are judging them for their participation). We have nothing to fear from our neighbors or from their children, no matter how they choose to dress for an evening. So my children will dress up (my son as a soldier and my daughters as a ballerina and a princess) and we will visit each of our neighbors, knocking on their doors and accepting their fistfuls of candy. Either my wife or I (I think it's my turn this year) will remain at home, greeting people at our door with a smile and a handful of something tasty. If the kids are deemed too old to trick-or-treat, they’ll be forced to sing a song to merit any handouts. Our door will be open and the light will be on. A contributor to an email list I participate in once concluded his defense of participating in Halloween with these words: “One night does not a neighbor make (and one night does not a pagan make), but Halloween is the one night of the year where the good neighborliness that flows from being in Christ is communicated and reinforced. We are citizens of another Kingdom where The Light is always on.” That analogy seems particularly appropriate.

This year we're doing something else. We've invited all of the neighbors over for dinner before the festivities begin. We've got at least 40 or 50 people who are planning on coming by for a barbeque. We're doing this simply because we enjoy our neighbors and love to spend time with them. Halloween evening can be hectic, with parents getting home from work and then rushing to prepare their children, so we thought we'd attempt to relieve one burden by taking care of dinner for everyone. It should be fun and we're looking forward to it.

My encouragement to you today is to think and pray about this issue so that you can do what your conscience dictates for that day. I do not see Halloween as a great evangelistic occasion and this is where some of my thought on the issue has probably developed most. In the past I may have tried to convince myself that Halloween would offer occasions to share the gospel, but I don't think this is usually the case. Nor does it have to be. I think Halloween is a time that you can prove to your neighbors that you care about them, that you care about their children, and that you are glad to be in this world and this culture, even if you are not of this world or this culture. Aileen and I feel that God has deliberately placed us here and among these people. We want to celebrate with them, even on an occasion of such dubious importance as Halloween.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-10-14T10:03:00.003-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What do we pray in the sixth petition of the Lord’s Prayer?
Answer: In the sixth petition which is, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,” we pray that God would either keep us from being tempted to sin, or support and deliver us when we are tempted.
Scripture: Matthew 6:13; 26:41; Ps 19:13; 1 Cor 10:13; John 17:15

DEB WINS ANOTHER ARGUMENT
(Maybe this really happened)

In a friendly discussion a few weeks ago, I told Deb that housekeeping would be a snap if she would organize her time better. She challenged me to put my theory to the test by disappearing for a day and having me do the housekeeping.

When she returned in the late evening she asked me how it went and I replied, “I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath."

She was a bit shocked and perplexed and was about to concede that perhaps I was right when I had to add very sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."

CHRISTIANS AND HALLOWEEN
If you are a long time reader of Parents and Kids of Faith, pardon my repeating myself every year with these articles (this week and next) on Halloween but the subject of what do we do with Halloween as Christians comes up every year. Here is an excellent article this week from Grace To You ministries written by Pastor John MacArthur.

Halloween. It's a time of year when the air gets crisper, the day gets shorter, and for many young Americans the excitement grows in anticipation of the darkest, spookiest holiday of the year. Retailers rejoice too as they warm up their cash registers to receive an average of $41.77 per household in decorations, costumes, candy, and greeting cards. Halloween will bring in approximately 3.3 billion dollars this year.

It's a good bet retailers won't entertain high expectations of getting $41.77 per household from the Christian market. Many Christians refuse to participate in Halloween. Some are wary of its pagan origins; others of its dark, ghoulish imagery; still others are concerned for the safety of their children. But other Christians choose to partake of the festivities, whether participating in school activities, neighborhood trick-or-treating, or a Halloween alternative at their church.

The question is, How should Christians respond to Halloween? Is it irresponsible for parents to let their children trick-or-treat? What about Christians who refuse any kind of celebration during the season--are they overreacting?

The Pagan Origin of Halloween
The name "Halloween" comes from the All Saints Day celebration of the early Christian church, a day set aside for the solemn remembrance of the martyrs. All Hallows Eve, the evening before All Saints Day, began the time of remembrance. "All Hallows Eve" was eventually contracted to "Hallow-e'en," which became "Halloween."

As Christianity moved through Europe it collided with indigenous pagan cultures and confronted established customs. Pagan holidays and festivals were so entrenched that new converts found them to be a stumbling block to their faith. To deal with the problem, the organized church would commonly move a distinctively Christian holiday to a spot on the calendar that would directly challenge a pagan holiday. The intent was to counter pagan influences and provide a Christian alternative. But most often the church only succeeded in "Christianizing" a pagan ritual--the ritual was still pagan, but mixed with Christian symbolism. That's what happened to All Saints Eve--it was the original Halloween alternative!

The Celtic people of Europe and Britain were pagan Druids whose major celebrations were marked by the seasons. At the end of the year in northern Europe, people made preparations to ensure winter survival by harvesting the crops and culling the herds, slaughtering animals that wouldn't make it. Life slowed down as winter brought darkness (shortened days and longer nights), fallow ground, and death. The imagery of death, symbolized by skeletons, skulls, and the color black, remains prominent in today's Halloween celebrations.

The pagan Samhain festival (pronounced "sow" "en") celebrated the final harvest, death, and the onset of winter, for three days--October 31 to November 2. The Celts believed the curtain dividing the living and the dead lifted during Samhain to allow the spirits of the dead to walk among the living--ghosts haunting the earth.

Some embraced the season of haunting by engaging in occult practices such as divination and communication with the dead. They sought "divine" spirits (demons) and the spirits of their ancestors regarding weather forecasts for the coming year, crop expectations, and even romantic prospects. Bobbing for apples was one practice the pagans used to divine the spiritual world's "blessings" on a couple's romance.

For others the focus on death, occultism, divination, and the thought of spirits returning to haunt the living, fueled ignorant superstitions and fears. They believed spirits were earthbound until they received a proper sendoff with treats--possessions, wealth, food, and drink. Spirits who were not suitably "treated" would "trick" those who had neglected them. The fear of haunting only multiplied if that spirit had been offended during its natural lifetime.

Trick-bent spirits were believed to assume grotesque appearances. Some traditions developed, which believed wearing a costume to look like a spirit would fool the wandering spirits. Others believed the spirits could be warded off by carving a grotesque face into a gourd or root vegetable (the Scottish used turnips) and setting a candle inside it--the jack-o-lantern.

Into that dark, superstitious, pagan world, God mercifully shined the light of the gospel. Newly converted Christians armed themselves with the truth and no longer feared a haunting from departed spirits returning to earth. In fact, they denounced their former pagan spiritism in accord with Deuteronomy 18:

There shall not be found among you anyone...who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spiritist, or one who calls up the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord (vv. 10-13).

Nonetheless, Christian converts found family and cultural influence hard to withstand; they were tempted to rejoin the pagan festivals, especially Samhain. Pope Gregory IV reacted to the pagan challenge by moving the celebration of All Saints Day in the ninth century--he set the date at November 1, right in the middle of Samhain.

As the centuries passed, Samhain and All Hallows Eve mixed together. On the one hand, pagan superstitions gave way to "Christianized" superstitions and provided more fodder for fear. People began to understand that the pagan ancestral spirits were demons and the diviners were practicing witchcraft and necromancy. On the other hand, the festival time provided greater opportunity for revelry. Trick-or-treat became a time when roving bands of young hooligans would go house-to-house gathering food and drink for their parties. Stingy householders ran the risk of a "trick" being played on their property from drunken young people.

Halloween didn't become an American holiday until the immigration of the working classes from the British Isles in the late nineteenth century. While early immigrants may have believed the superstitious traditions, it was the mischievous aspects of the holiday that attracted American young people. Younger generations borrowed or adapted many customs without reference to their pagan origins.

Hollywood has added to the "fun" a wide assortment of fictional characters--demons, monsters, vampires, werewolves, mummies, and psychopaths. That certainly isn't improving the American mind, but it sure is making someone a lot of money.

The Christian Response to Halloween
Today Halloween is almost exclusively an American secular holiday, but many who celebrate have no concept of its religious origins or pagan heritage. That's not to say Halloween has become more wholesome. Children dress up in entertaining costumes, wander the neighborhood in search of candy, and tell each other scary ghost stories; but adults often engage in shameful acts of drunkenness and debauchery.

So, how should Christians respond?

First, Christians should not respond to Halloween like superstitious pagans. Pagans are superstitious; Christians are enlightened by the truth of God's Word. Evil spirits are no more active and sinister on Halloween than they are on any other day of the year; in fact, any day is a good day for Satan to prowl about seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). But "greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4). God has forever "disarmed principalities and powers" through the cross of Christ and "made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them through [Christ]" (Colossians 2:15).

Second, Christians should respond to Halloween with cautionary wisdom. Some people fear the activity of Satanists or pagan witches, but the actual incidents of satanic-associated crime are very low. The real threat on Halloween is from the social problems that attend sinful behavior--drunk driving, pranksters and vandals, and unsupervised children.

Like any other day of the year, Christians should exercise caution as wise stewards of their possessions and protectors of their families. Christian young people should stay away from secular Halloween parties since those are breeding grounds for trouble. Christian parents can protect their children by keeping them well-supervised and restricting treat consumption to those goodies received from trusted sources.

Third, Christians should respond to Halloween with gospel compassion. The unbelieving, Christ-rejecting world lives in perpetual fear of death. It isn't just the experience of death, but rather what the Bible calls "a certain terrifying expectation of judgment, and the fury of a fire which will consume [God's] adversaries" (Hebrews 10:27). Witches, ghosts, and evil spirits are not terrifying; God's wrath unleashed on the unforgiven sinner--now that is truly terrifying.

Christians should use Halloween and all that it brings to the imagination--death imagery, superstition, expressions of debauched revelry--as an opportunity to engage the unbelieving world with the gospel of Jesus Christ. God has given everyone a conscience that responds to His truth (Romans 2:14-16), and the conscience is the Christian's ally in the evangelistic enterprise. Christians should take time to inform the consciences of friends and family with biblical truth regarding God, the Bible, sin, Christ, future judgment, and the hope of eternal life in Jesus Christ for the repentant sinner.

There are several different ways Christians will engage in Halloween evangelism. Some will adopt a "No Participation" policy. As Christian parents, they don't want their kids participating in spiritually compromising activities--listening to ghost stories and coloring pictures of witches. They don't want their kids to dress up in costumes for trick-or-treating or even attending Halloween alternatives.

That response naturally raises eyebrows and provides a good opportunity to share the gospel to those who ask. It's also important that parents explain their stand to their children and prepare them to face the teasing or ridicule of their peers and the disapproval or scorn of their teachers.

Other Christians will opt for Halloween alternatives called "Harvest Festivals" or "Reformation Festivals"--the kids dress up as farmers, Bible characters, or Reformation heroes. It's ironic when you consider Halloween's beginning as an alternative, but it can be an effective means of reaching out to neighborhood families with the gospel. Some churches leave the church building behind and take acts of mercy into their community, "treating" needy families with food baskets, gift cards, and the gospel message.

Those are good alternatives; there are others that are not so good. Some churches are using "Hell House" evangelism to shock young people and scare them into becoming Christians. They walk people through rooms patterned after carnival-style haunted houses and put sin on display--women undergoing abortions, people sacrificed in a satanic ritual, consequences of premarital sex, dangers of rave parties, demon possession, and other tragedies.

Here's the problem with so-called Hell House evangelism: To shock an unshockable culture, you have to get pretty graphic. Graphic exhibits of sin and its consequences are unnecessary--unbelieving minds are already full of such images. What they need to see is a life truly transformed by the power of God, and what they need to hear is the truth of God in an accurate presentation of the gospel. Cheap gimmickry is unfitting for Christ's ambassadors.

There's another option open to Christians: limited, non-compromising participation in Halloween. There's nothing inherently evil about candy, costumes, or trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. In fact, all of that can provide a unique gospel opportunity with neighbors. Even handing out candy to neighborhood children--provided you're not stingy--can improve your reputation among the kids. As long as the costumes are innocent and the behavior does not dishonor Christ, trick-or-treating can be used to further gospel interests.

Ultimately, Christian participation in Halloween is a matter of conscience before God. Whatever level of Halloween participation you choose, you must honor God by keeping yourself separate from the world and by showing mercy to those who are perishing. Halloween provides the Christian with the opportunity to accomplish both of those things in the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's a message that is holy, set apart from the world; it's a message that is the very mercy of a forgiving God. What better time of the year is there to share such a message than Halloween?

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-10-07T11:34:00.002-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What do we pray in the fifth petition of the Lord’s Prayer?
Answer: In the fifth petition which is, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors,” we pray that God, for Christ’s sake, would freely pardon all our sins which we are encouraged to ask because by his grace we are enabled from the heart to forgive others.
Scripture: Matthew 6:12; 18:35; Psalm 51:1,3, 7; Mark 11:25

WHY MOMS ARE SMARTER THAN DADS
(maybe this really happened)

One day Deb was out and she left our two toddler children with me. Brita, who was about 3 years old, had a little tea set that was her favorite playtime. I was engrossed in reading that evening, while she was playing and brought to me a little cup of “tea” which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise from me for such yummy tea, Deb came home from her event. I had her wait in our living room to watch Brita bring me the next cup of tea because I thought it was just the cutest thing. Deb waited and, sure enough, here came Brita down the hall with a cup of tea for her dad, which she watched me drink all up. Deb then looked at me with kind of a strange look, as only a mother can have, and said to me, “Did it ever occur to you that there’s only one place where she can reach to get water?”

GRACE FOR REGRETFUL PARENTS, TOO
By Elyse Fitzpatrick

The following is an article that Deb and I definitely relate to. Even to the point that two weeks ago we missed one of our grandson’s birthday by a couple of days. But where we associate with this story is that much of the way we teach and talk about parenting now is not exactly or even close to what we did. But we experienced a particular grace from God in our children and they survived our ignorance and foolishness. Hope this article encourages you as well and I very highly recommend the book mentioned, “Give Them Grace.”

Regrets. As a mom of three and grandmother of six, I know all about regrets. Just this week I missed one of my granddaughters birthdays, thinking it was a day later than it was. That’s not unusual for me either—even though I have taken to writing down everyone’s birthdays in my phone—I never seem to be able to remember everything when I’m supposed to remember it.

Yes, there’s a place in my heart where I’m tempted to be filled with regret for things forgotten, regret for missing an opportunity to speak truth, or for speaking it in an unkind way. I’ve talked with enough parents to know that I’m not alone in this, either. In some ways it seems like regret is badge of honor for parents: you know you’re really serious about your parenting if you feel really terrible about how you’re doing… or how you did if your kids are grown.

Give Them Grace
Recently, my daughter Jessica and I wrote a book about parenting entitled, Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus (Crossway). I’ll be honest with you here. I love this book. I love the way that the Lord worked in our hearts as we sought to take the truths of the gospel and apply them to parenting in a consistent and profound way. I love watching Jessica and her friends learn how to speak grace to their children and to side with their kids instead of against them in their struggle for faith and obedience.

But I have to admit something else: This book could easily add another layer to the regret I feel as a parent. Give them grace? Hardly!

Our Parental Story
Let me explain what I mean. When Phil and I were raising our children, sure, we told them the gospel but only until they assured us that they believed it and then we piled on the law. Then the focus changed from Jesus and the gospel to their behavior and the rules.

Mixed into all this was my own idolatrous desire to be a successful parent and have successful, obedient children. In addition, we had absolutely no clue how the gospel intersected with daily life. To us the gospel was the door into Christianity and then Christianity was almost exclusively about obeying, getting on down the road of sanctification. I cringe now when I think of how I used our faith to demand obedience and punish them when they didn’t comply. Regrets? Yes, boatloads of them… if I let myself go there.

And Now?
In light of what I’ve learned, how should I respond to my kids now? I’m convinced that I spent the majority of my time as a parent getting it wrong and I’m sure there are other parents who feel the same way I do. Assuming that your experience is anything like mine, let me share with you what the Lord is teaching us, in the hope that it will comfort you.

First of all, perhaps you could have a heart-to-heart with you children and confess the ways you failed as a parent. This might include a discussion of the ways you’ve grown in understanding the “good” news and how you missed it when you were raising them. You could also confess any ways in which their outward compliance meant more to you than it should have. Asking them for forgiveness and then being willing to wait for them to forgive you, even if it takes some time, is one way for you to demonstrate the gospel to them. You can be open about your failures because you’ve been given grace to know you no longer need to depend on yourself for righteousness.

You might also seek to change the way you relate to them now that they are adults. This would mean that you would look for opportunities to give them grace: highlighting the work of the Spirit in their lives (becoming a “Grace Detective”), sharing the truths that you’re learning about what it means to be completely loved while being completely known, asking the Lord to help you relax and enjoy them as children created in the image of God.

Regret will cause you to respond to your children in skewed ways. It might make you too willing to give in and support an ungodly lifestyle, confirming them in a life of irresponsibility. On the other hand, it might make you angry and unwilling to keep trying to maintain a relationship. In any case, regret is toxic to the relationship and it has to go. But how?

God’s Remedy
The only remedy for regret is to understand who you are and who God is. You are a sinner. That’s not really news, is it? There has only been one good parent in the history of the world and it isn’t you… or me, for that matter. We feel immense regret because we expected too much of ourselves. Although we never would have said so, we expected that we could be great parents—faithful, wise, diligent, loving—and we thought that by our efforts we could produce great kids. But realizing that you’ve failed at parenting is only a remedy for regret when you realize that you’ve been completely forgiven and stand perfectly righteous before your Father despite your failure.

Jesus loves all His children perfectly and that perfection is yours today if you believe. You’ve got nothing left to prove, everything has already been said about your skills as a parent on Calvary. You can relax and silence the incessant voice of the inner slave driver: of course you were a lousy parent—there is only one Savior, only one Good Father.

You also need to remember that no matter how you succeeded or failed as a parent, “salvation is of the Lord” (Psalm 3:8). The Lord is the only One who holds the hearts of your children in His hand. He’s the only one who can turn them toward Himself and even though we had an obligation to faithfully raise our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, their salvation was never in our hands. Salvation is always ultimately up to Him.

The wonderful news is that He can take even your failures and use them to teach your children about grace… just like He’s done with Jessica and me. We don’t need to be filled with regret because we know that God is sovereign and although He isn’t responsible for our failures, He remains sovereign over them and will use them for His purposes.

Rejoice
I hope that I don’t forget my granddaughter’s birthday again, but this won’t make me a perfect parent. I still fail so terribly. I have only one standing place: I have the righteousness of Jesus Christ and my children’s salvation or success doesn’t depend in any way on my getting my gospel act together. Giving grace to your children starts with giving grace to yourself. You are loved and welcomed, in your sin, in your failure. Rejoice.

SPEAKING OF PARENTING: Presenting CrossWalk
Starting next Thursday evening, on the second and fourth Thursdays of the month (except for a break between Thanksgiving and through December) I will be having a class on parenting called “Rescue.” These will be from 7:00-8:30 P.M. in Room 1 at the church and are open to the public. I will begin with the first 3 classes on “Rescuing our Children.”

SHAMELESS APPEAL: An Invitation for a Study for Men - ROBUST

2011-10-05T21:05:00.002-05:00

Starting this Friday, Oct 7, I will be starting a study-discipleship group that is open to all men, high school on up. We will meet the first 3 Fridays of the month (unless there is a holiday) at downtown NuVibe on 14th Street (just north of O Street) starting at 0630 and you can leave when you need to. (You will see that they are normally closed at that time but I got a special deal from the kind owner ..)

The title of the study is "Robust", meaning we will quaf down a robust cup of coffee or the beverage of your choice in the morning and through a study of God's Word, we will tackle robust topics of theology.

Michael Horton writes this about studying theology: "Theology is the wisdom we need for calling the Father, in the Son, and by the Holy Spirit for salvation and life. If we are saved by no other name than the name of Jesus - we better get his name right and calling upon him by the terms that he prescribed. Theology exists for this purpose: to appeal to the God who has revealed himself and his redemptive purposes in Christ so that he be invoked in times of trouble, praised in deliverance, and obeyed in gratitude."

I will post assignments on this blog and any updates. My hope is that a few men will join me in a robust time of discussion, challenge and discovery.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-09-30T10:47:00.003-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What do we pray in the fourth petition of the Lord’s Prayer?
Answer: In the fourth petition, which is, “Give us this day our daily bread,” we pray that of God’s free gift, we may receive a competent portion of the good things of this life and enjoy his blessing with them.
Scripture: Matthew 6:11, Proverbs 30:8-9; 1 Timothy 6:6-8, 4:4-5.

SWEET POTATOES
(Maybe this really happened)

One of the things I enjoy doing for Deb on occasion is to make a special meal for her. Over the years I have put together magnificent dishes, and some have been absolute culinary disasters. On one of the occasions recently, I asked Deb what she would like to have as a side dish to the special meat dish I was preparing on the grill. She informed me that she would really enjoy having a sweet potato. After struggling with preparing the potato for several hours and how late it was getting, I finally picked up the phone and called Linda Rempel, knowing that she was a culinary expert. I explained to Linda, “I finally figured out how to make the potato taste sweet, but I cannot figure out how to make it orange!” I only heard a sigh.

NEWS ITEMS
Coming in October will be CrossTalk and CrossWalk. Both will be held on Thursday evenings, 7:00 – 8:30 PM at the church. The topic for CrossTalk which will be the first and third Thursdays of the month, will be addressing the issue of sexual assault and how to minister to yourself or others who have or are struggling with the impact of it with the power of the gospel.

The topic for CrossWalk, on the second and fourth Thursdays of the month, will be parenting and establishing a gospel-centered approach to raising children. Check out the church webpage in the next few weeks for a more detailed description of these classes. Both are open to the public.

FIGHTING FOR YOUR CHILDREN: THE REALITY OF SPIRITUAL WARFARE IN THE HOME
by Brian Nelson with Timothy Paul Jones

Your family lives in a war zone. With every exploding shell, the house shakes. Your physical body may never feel the shell shocks, and the plaster on your walls may remain intact- but the impacts are present all around you. Long after your children fall asleep and the chaos of the day fades into the quietness of evening, the shelling continues.

To be sure, when you look out your window and survey a suburban backyard, a busy city block, or the rolling hills of a rural landscape, what you see probably doesn’t look like a war zone. But don’t let such serene scenery fool you! Beyond the doors of your household and mine, there is a battle raging. The battle is about glory, and who will receive it. The battle is about authority, and who will exercise it.

This is war because the same serpentine dragon who– in that celestial conflict that John glimpsed on Patmos– longed to consume the fruit of Mary’s womb also wants to devour our children (Rev. 12:1-9). His weapons in this conflict are, however, neither the priests of Molech nor the soldiers of Herod (Jer. 32:35-36; Matt. 2:16). The Enemy’s weapons in our children’s lives are slickly-promoted celebrities and clothing and commercials that subtly but surely corrode their souls.

What we wrestle against in this battle is not “flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12). Faced with the recognition that our households are targets in a cosmic conflict, it is tempting for Christian families to seek some sort of bunker to escape the battle– hunkering down in well-fortified homes or churches, dreaming about a heavenly kingdom and hoping for the rapid return of Jesus. But that is not our calling: In God’s design, Christian households and churches are not shelters from the conflict; they are gospel-empowered training bases for the conflict.

God has graciously gifted my wife and me with two precious daughters. Surrounded by play kitchens, plastic dolls, and princess dresses, it would be easy for us to lose sight of our vast responsibility for these two creatures of God. It is only the Word of God that keeps us grounded in the reality that we are training our children for a conflict that transcends empirical observation. When my wife and I look at our girls, we see two beautiful gifts that God has placed in our household– but we also recall how the first family fell in the garden of Eden and how deeply the prince of darkness despises the gospel that was proclaimed even there (Gen. 3:15). We are reminded that, because this gospel is transforming our lives and the lives of our children, our household is a target for the enemy. We know our calling to train our children in the fear of God. To neglect this training would be to send our daughters into battle unprepared, unprotected, unaware.

Tonight, audible reminders of war ring in my ears– literally. Above my daughters’ playful laughter, I hear tanks at Fort Knox running maneuvers. Only a few miles from my home, troops are training. Thunderous cannon peals are very real reminders to me of physical conflicts in which these soldiers could soon be engaged. In this moment, the thunder also reminds me of another conflict- one that swirls unseen around my family, even here and even now.

Pastor George’s Note: To help prepare you for the battle, please consider at least one of you in the home attending CrossWalk on the 2nd and 4th Thursday evenings of the month as I will begin a series called “Rescue” where we will explore how we can rescue our children and ourselves as a family from the ravages of the world, the flesh, and the devil with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Starts this month on October 13, 7:00 PM at the church.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-09-22T15:44:00.003-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What do we pray in the third petition of the Lord’s Prayer?
Answer: In the third petition which is, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” we pray that God, by his grace would make us able and willing to know, obey, and submit to his will in all things, as the angels do in heaven.
Scripture: Matthew 6:10; Psalm 103:20, 21; 25:4; 119:26

TAKING A GRANDSON TO A WEDDING
(Maybe this really happened)

Deb and I recently attended a wedding and brought along our 7-year-old grandson, Isaac. Though he had attended weddings before, he was particularly curious as to many of the customs and asked several questions. One of them was, “Why does the girl wear white?” Deb jumped in and replied, “The bride is in white to represent joy and this is the happiest day of her life.” Isaac took time to think about this and then turned to me and asked, “Grandpa, why then does the boy wear black?"

NEWS ITEMS
“The Art of Marriage” is a 6 session video series by Family Life Ministries and will be presented at First Evangelical Covenant Church, 6024 L St on September 30, 7-9:30 PM and October 1, 9-4 PM. If you are interested in this, you can get information on the series at http://FamilyLife.com/theArtofMarriage and to register, go to http://firstcovenantchurch.webconnex.com/art_of_marriage.

Coming in October will be CrossTalk and CrossWalk. Both will be held on Thursday evenings, 7:00 – 8:30 PM at the church. The topic for CrossTalk, which will be the first and third Thursdays of the month, will be addressing the issue of sexual assault and how to minister to yourself or others who have or are struggling with the impact of it with the power of the gospel. The topic for CrossWalk, on the second and fourth Thursdays of the month, will be parenting and establishing a gospel-centered approach to raising children. Check out the church webpage for a more detailed description of these classes. Both are open to the public.

5 LESSONS FOR PARENTING IN THE DIGITAL AGE
By Soren Gordhamer

“Dad, can I use your phone to play games?” asked my son recently as we drove through the southwest on a beautiful summer day. I was taken by his question. On one hand, it was a lovely day, and I had been greatly enjoying our conversation. On the other, why not let him play a game if he wants? I check my email continuously — why shouldn’t he also be able to play games continuously?

My son’s question is one that millions of parents are asked each day, whether about a phone, computer, Wii or Xbox. The essential plea is the same: “Mom or dad, can I please direct my attention to a screen?”

Parents of older children face similar challenges — for instance, whether it’s acceptable for their teen to text at the dinner table, or whether it’s tolerable for a teen to peer at his laptop when someone is trying to address him. Essentially, we wonder, just how much technology should be allowed in our lives and those of our kids?

Few parents are going to completely forbid their children from interacting with today’s amazing gadgetry. However, it’s essential that we focus on a conscious, rather than habitual, use of modern technology.

1. Technology No Longer Has Boundaries
We first need to recognize that times are extremely different today than in previous generations. Once upon a time there were built-in limitations: Kids played games in arcades or tethered themselves to home devices.

Now, as long as someone in the family has a smartphone, games and other ways of being digitally connected are always an option — whether we’re carpooling, standing in line at the market or sitting at the dinner table. And kids know it. Without fail, they tote along their PSP or cellphone or, like my son, ask to use a parent’s phone.

Furthermore, young people take to technology like no generation before them. According to a Nielson report, adult U.S. mobile users sent an average of 357 texts per month in the second quarter of 2008 versus an average of 204 calls. Teens, however, are sending or receiving an average of 3,339 texts a month, an 8% jump from the previous year.

2. Know When to Cut it Off
New technologies, from computer games to the Xbox, can be a great way for kids to learn strategy and develop hand-eye coordination, but as parents and caregivers, we need to know when enough is enough. According to a University of Bristol study, children who spent more than two hours a day at a screen had a 60% higher risk of psychological problems than children who clocked fewer viewing hours.

Just how much time is appropriate? A 2009 Kaiser study reported that children aged 8-18 engage with media 7.5 hours per day, on average. However, the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that kids spend no more than 1-2 hours per day in front of a screen. Quite the discrepancy.

While one could argue that kids with too much technological engagement might find themselves unable to pace the work environment of the future, parents nonetheless have the responsibility to determine when too much screen time becomes unhealthy. It’s not that screens are bad, only that they need to be used in moderation. If our children are not getting exercise, face time with friends or other creative stimulation, their screen time will likely be more detrimental than purposeful.

3. The Difference Between Preference and Addiction
There is a huge difference between an addiction and a preference. A kid may prefer spending an evening surfing the Internet, simply because he or she enjoys that activity more than going out with friends or playing sports. This person functions fine without a gadget or device but might prefer it when given the chance.

In addiction, however, the person seemingly cannot live without something and experiences a deep void when it’s unavailable. How many young people today might show signs of addiction, versus simply a preference when it comes to technology? Indeed, 38% of surveyed college students indicated they couldn’t last 10 minutes before switching on some sort of electronic device.

Of course, adults often experience the same challenge. A new study found that 53% feel upset when denied access, and 40% feel lonely when they’re unable to go online, even for a short period of time. One person interviewed indicated that the 24-hour device-less experience was “like having my hand chopped off.”

Despite the attachment, a striking study of young people revealed that about 38% of those 10-18 years old feel overwhelmed by technology. For 25 -to 34-year-olds, it was slightly less at 34%. Essentially, the younger the age, the more one’s relationship with technology feels strained.

The young people in our lives may be more overwhelmed than we think, perhaps even looking to adults to help them define the difference between preference and addiction.

4. Focus on Technology That Truly Connects Us to Our Kids
To what extent are we connecting with our kids? Are we engaged with them, giving them our full attention (whether the activity is online or off), or are we living largely isolated from one another?

Recently, I was shopping at a Whole Foods in Santa Cruz, Calif., when a woman walked briskly by me, her high heels clicking rapidly across the floor. Most surprising was not that she could move that quickly in high heels, but that following close behind her was a child about 6 years old, playing a game on a small computer.

The young boy held the device right up to his face, only glancing up occasionally from the screen to make sure he did not run into his mother. The two sped through one aisle then the next, the child completely immersed in his game, oblivious for the most part to the world around him. Though physically near each other, mentally they lived in two different worlds.

On the other hand, a properly chosen game could just as easily connect, instead of distance, mother and child. As parents, we need to focus on that which unites versus isolates a family.

5. Model the Balance
In recent years, I have built a business largely by making connections with people online. Twitter and Facebook have opened up doors for remarkable engagement, and the next generation will benefit enormously from the increased means of communication available to them. Today’s social channels create ways of connecting with like-minded people — an opportunity our parents never had.

It makes little sense for parents to deny young people access to the amazing technologies of our time. At the same time, kids that can’t last 10 minutes without checking their email is cause for concern. When they can’t engage in a sustained conversation with a friend, enjoy a walk in nature or simply rest under a tree, the dangers of technology can outweigh the benefits.

The path ahead is one of conscious engagement, one in which parents join kids in games and other means of technological engagement, all the while making sure their children connect in other ways as well. The question is not, should people live connected or disconnected lives? Instead ask, how do we live connected in all aspects of our lives, whether online, talking to a family member or taking a walk outside?

The desire to be connected will not go away. But the ways we connect should expand to include more activities. That way, time spent digitally connecting will be one form of many.

DO NOT NEGLECT THE HOLY SPIRIT IN YOUR PARENTING

2011-08-30T08:27:00.004-05:00

By Daniel Darling, Gages Lake Bible Church, Illinois

“You have nothing to worry about with your kids,” she told me one day, “because you’re doing everything right.” These words from a pastor’s wife were meant to encourage but actually provoked more questions than answers. The woman was well-meaning. She was saying there was no earthly way our kids could fail because my wife and I had been raised so well, we are grounded so deeply in our faith, and we subscribe to the “right” parenting techniques.

It was a lot of pressure. Our first daughter, Grace, had just turned 1. By all accounts we were doing a credible job. She was a good kid. The parental prophecy from our friend was often repeated in that first year of parenting. Dan and Angela are such great parents, aren’t they?

Fast forward two years and everything changed. Grace was in the throes of rebellion. Terrible 2s turned into terrible 3s. Even though our parenting paradigm had not changed, and we were subscribing to all of those same “right” methods, the same well-meaning woman pulled my wife aside and issued an apocalyptic warning about Grace. If we didn’t “get her under control,” she’d end up profligate child. Then she named some infamous rebels we both knew well. Others told us that Grace was “going to end up in jail if we didn’t do something, that she was “one of the worst kids we’ve seen.” So in a matter of a few years we moved from parenting savants to parenting dunces.

In the years since, we’ve moved on. Looking back, that early criticism, while hurtful and often misguided, had elements of truth we adopted. We’ve matured and discovered additional techniques that have helped Grace grow into a delightful, radiant 6-year old girl.

While the advice we were given may be extreme and not normative for most parents, it does fit with a child-training paradigm that often seems more man-centered than Spirit-led.

Train Up a Child

If you were to survey evangelical parents and ask them to quote their foundational child-raising Scripture, the answer would likely be Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

This verse has become the basis for Christian parenting because we’ve been told, for generations now, that it is both a promise and a command. We think it’s a promise because it seems to guarantee success. The formula is rather simple: Do things God’s way and your kids will turn out right.
It’s also assumed to be a command. If your kids don’t turn out right, you must have disobeyed Scripture at some point. This has to be the case, because Scripture doesn’t lie, right?

Here’s the problem with this interpretation. It’s neither biblically accurate nor helpful. Worse yet, it has led to all kinds of unnecessary guilt on the part of Christian parents and perhaps led them to adopt a man-centered, results-oriented system for raising children.

Proverbs 22:6 is great wisdom. It’s in the inspired canon of Scripture. Still, the basic principles for biblical interpretation tell us to consider the genre. The proverbs are the best collection of wisdom anywhere in the world. They are thoughts from the Almighty on how to live and glorify God in the most practical areas of life. Ultimately they point us to Jesus Christ, the only one who perfectly illustrated the wise life. He is the wisdom of God personified (1 Cor. 1:24, 30; Col. 2:3).

While Proverbs are wisdom, they are not promises. Consider other well-known proverbs, such as Proverbs 15:1, which reminds us that a “gentle answer” turns away anger. This is generally true, but not always. I imagine that if I take my gentle answer to the gritty urban streets near where I live, my gentle answer might stir up wrath. Or consider Proverbs 17:17, which says a “friend loves at all times.” Generally speaking, you can count on your friends to love at all times. But then there are times when a friend betrays. Consider David’s words in Psalm 41:9: “Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.”

You could easily point out quite a few other instances where Proverbs taken as promises fall short of expectations. Which bring us back to Proverbs 22:6. To interpret this as biblical wisdom is, well, wise. Generally speaking, if you follow biblical parenting and discipleship models in the Scriptures, you’ll raise children who turn out well. But as a promise, this verse falls woefully short.

If Proverbs 22:6 were a promise (and by extension) a command, you have serious theological problems. God often referred to himself as the “parent” of the nation of Israel (Ex. 4:22-23; Jer. 3:19). And yet, you don’t have to be a Bible scholar to observe that Israel was a most rebellious child. Was God, therefore, a bad parent? Was Jesus a bad “parent” because Judas, one of his disciples, rejected him?

This illustrates the folly of such a formula-driven application of Proverbs 22:6. It reduces the Scriptures to a sanctified formula, a more spiritual-sounding version of Dr. Phil. This man-centeredness eliminates the only agent for human change: the Holy Spirit.

Enter the Holy Spirit

A better parenting paradigm is faithfulness-driven rather than results-led. Our role as parents is not to “produce” children who exhibit certain behavior criteria, but to be mere instruments in the Holy Spirit’s ongoing work in the heart of our children. We highly value and adhere to the wisdom of Proverbs, Deuteronomy, Hebrews, and other child-training passages in the Scriptures and realize only God transforms the hearts of our children.

Our first priority then becomes salvation, so the regenerating work of the Spirit can begin, both making the parenting job easier and also pointing toward lasting change. We look for signs of inner heart change rather than focusing primarily on external conformity.

I’ve seen this at work in my daughter, Grace. We believe she came to faith in Christ at the age of 5, not simply because she mouthed the “right words” in Awana or Sunday school, but because we have begun to witness the fruit of the Spirit’s work in her life. We often see this after she rebels. She has often approached us, many hours and even days after receiving discipline, and has expressed genuine remorse. We’ve also seen an increased hunger for spiritual content and recognition of theological ideas such as salvation, regeneration, and other aspects of the gospel message.

Recognition of the Holy Spirit’s pre-eminent role in changing hearts reshapes our parenting priorities. Removing the unnecessary weight of producing results helps us see our kids, not as a reflection of who we are, but as a unique creation in the image of the Creator. Instead of pushing our kids to abide by our standards as a way of conforming and producing their own righteousness, we might offer the disciplined life as gracious obedience to the Spirit, who empowers them to live the life of Christ.

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-08-26T15:50:00.004-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What do we pray in the second petition of the Lord’s Prayer?
Answer: In the second petition which is, “Thy kingdom come,” we pray that Satan’s kingdom may be destroyed, and that the kingdom of grace may be advanced; that ourselves and others be brought into it and kept in it; and that the kingdom of glory may be hastened.
Scripture: Matthew 6:10; 9:37, 38; Ps 68: 1-18; Rom 10: 1; 2 Thess 3:1; Rev 22:20

NEW VOCABULARY WORDS
Our language is in constant flux lately and the new addition of Webster’s has arrived with over 200 new words added such as “tweet.” After examination of the new edition, they did not include the following words:

CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will "remove" all the germs.

ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean, follow suit.

ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest at a movie theater.

ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the "illegal side ".

PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

NEWS ITEMS

I will be taking a few weeks off so there will be no Parents and Kids of Faith for a couple of weeks.
“The Art of Marriage” is a 6 session video series by Family Life Ministries and will be presented at First Evangelical Covenant Church, 6024 L St on September 30, 7-9:30 PM and October 1, 9-4. If you are interested in this, you can get information on the series at http://FamilyLife.com/theArtofMarriage and to register, go to http://firstcovenantchurch.webconnex.com/art_of_marriage.
Coming in October will be CrossTalk and CrossWalk. Both will be held on Thursday evenings 7:00 – 8:30 at the church or the little brick house on the church property. The topic for CrossTalk, which will be the first and third Thursdays of the month, will be addressing the issue of sexual assault and how to minister to yourself or others who have or are struggling with the impact of it with the power of the gospel. The topic for CrossWalk, on the second and fourth Thursdays, will be parenting and establishing a gospel-centered approach to raising children. Check out the church webpage in the next few weeks for a more detailed description of these classes. Both are open to the public.

THE FAMILY MISSION STATEMENT
Last week’s article introduced the concept of the family mission statement. Deb and I found this to be a helpful tool for our family many years ago and below is an example of what we did over 10 years ago. We pretty much still try to live by it… Part 1 below is some instruction of how you can do the same.

What it is:
Answers the question: What is the purpose of our family?

Why do one?
1. Will help unify the family
2. Will help remind you of what is most important
3. Sets a pattern that can reflect Christ and the church
4. Creates opportunity for honest and meaningful communication
5. Can reduce incidents of anger and conflict
6. Provides barriers of security for the children
7. Can free you from the tyranny of the urgent and the ability to easily say “no.”

How To Do One:
1. Start with the end in mind – answering the questions.

2. Rules:
     a. Do not rush it!
     b. Make it timeless
     c. Deal with the destination, not where you are now

3. Define your roles

4. What are the spiritual values you hold?

5. How is everyone to treat each other in the family?

6. What are virtues or character traits that are considered of “most” importance?

7. How do you want conflict to be resolved in your family?

8. How do you spend your leisure time?

9. How are finances to be managed and taught?

10. What are the guidelines for good health in your home?

11. Where do the activities of the family fit in priorities so conflicts of schedule are resolved?

12. It is easier being proactive on kid’s issues than reactionary. What are the calls?

Developing Value Statements:

What are the key points?

Clarify with a “we will, we are, we shall …”

HAVE FUN WITH IT!

Click here for the Lockyer's Mission Statement

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-08-18T17:01:00.005-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What do we pray in the first petition of the Lord’s Prayer?
Answer: In the first petition, “Hallowed by thy name,” we pray that God would enable us and others to glorify him in all of life and that he would dispose all things to his own glory.
Scripture: Matthew 6:9; Isa; 67:1-3; Rom 11:36; Rev 4:11; 1 Cor 10:31

WHEN I TALK TO DEB; WHAT I REALLY MEAN… PART 2
(It is really complicated talking to my wife)

"Go ask your mother."
Really means.... "I am incapable of making a decision."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the line-up for the 1963 Yankees and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

"I do help around the house."
Really means.... "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."

"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means.... "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means.... "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"

"What do you mean, you need new clothes?"
Really means.... "You just bought new clothes 3 years ago."

"I heard you."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You look terrific."
Really means.... "Oh please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I brought you a present."
Really means.... "It was free ice scraper night at the ball game."

"I missed you."
Really means.... "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

"Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful."
Really means.... "Oh, man, what have you done to yourself?"

"I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means.... "I am perfectly capable of messing it up without printed help."

"I'll fix the garbage disposal later."
Really means.... "If I wait long enough you'll get frustrated and buy a new one."

"I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."
Really means.... "Someplace that doesn't have a drive-thru window."

Developing a Family Mission Statement
The following is an excerpt from Michael S. Wilder’s chapter, “Building Missional Families,” in the forthcoming book, Trained in the Fear of God: Biblical Foundations for Family Ministry, edited by Randy Stinson and Timothy Paul Jones.

When I think of establishing a gospel-centered purpose for my family, I am drawn to the words that Joshua spoke to the nation of Israel at Shechem. The occasion of the public gathering was a covenant renewal before the Lord. Israel was reminded of God’s faithfulness to his chosen people through the generations and his expectation of their faithfulness in serving Yahweh and rejecting the false gods of the land. It is in this context that Joshua declares “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh 24:15). Here, Joshua leaves no room for his family to acquiesce to the gods of the people around them.

Neither should we leave any room in our family life for chasing after the idols of this world. Our earthly sojourn is a limited one and every moment must be redeemed for the cause of Christ. It is said of Joshua, after his death, that he was “the servant of the Lord” (Josh. 24:29).

This leader of Israel knew that serving the Lord entailed more than individual faithfulness; to serve the Lord is to serve together. One of the primary places that believers practice serving together is in the context of the Christian family. Such service has a lasting effect on children. Strong relationships exist between the Christian commitment of parents- particularly fathers’ service in the church- and their children’s continued participation in church after high school. Not surprisingly, family meals and family discussions about faith during teenage years also impact whether young adults continue in church.[1]

But how, at a practical level, can families develop a clear vision for how they will be used in God’s service and mission? Here is one simple possibility: Develop a family mission statement. The precise process of developing such a statement may vary from family to family. The parents in the household, and particularly the father, are ultimately responsible for the content and implementation of this statement. At the same time, this is a process that your family can undertake together.

As you consider the process, do recall that God has already made his central mission clear in the ministry of Jesus: His mission is his own glory (John 17:1-5, 22-24). Rightly understood, any Christian family’s mission statement could begin with “Our family exists to glorify God by… .” With that in mind, here’s one way to begin the process of developing a clear mission statement for your family:

Discuss your values. Ask your family what is most important to each of them and record the answers.
Evaluate your values. Ask your family to evaluate each response in light of Scripture. Rework or eliminates responses that are not in agreement with Scripture. Together, perhaps over a few weeks, pray and reflect on what will become your family’s core values.
Compose your family mission statement. As a husband and wife, allow the Scriptures to shape the direction and language of your family’s mission statement (see, for example, Gen. 12:1-3, 18:19; Josh. 24:15; 1 Kings 2:1-4; 1 Cor. 16:15). If you have children, discuss the statement with them; clarify your family’s expectations based on this Scripturally-shaped statement. How your family will engage in outreach and evangelism should be essential to this statement.
Make a family commitment. Work with the entire family to memorize the family mission statement.
Establish a game plan. Parents- and especially fathers- must take the initiative in planning and setting goals to implement the mission statement in specific ways in daily living.

Few Christians are clear about their personal place in God’s plan; even fewer families can clearly articulate how they plan to proclaim God’s glory to the ends of the earth. Family mission statements can provide direction in decision-making and stir a missional passion for the expansion of God’s kingdom.
_____________________________________________________________________
[1] Wesley Black, “Stopping the Dropouts: Guiding Adolescents toward a Lasting Faith Following High School Graduation,” Christian Education Journal: Series 3, Volume 5, Number 1: 34. See also Wes Black, “Youth Ministry That Lasts: The Faith Journey of Young Adults,” The Journal of Youth Ministry, 4, no 2: 19-48.
_____________________________________________________________________

Michael S. Wilder (Ph.D., The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) is Assistant Professor and Associate Dean of Doctoral Studies in the School of Church Ministries at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

(Next week I will share the family mission statement Deb and I put together over 10 years ago)

Parents & Kids of Faith

2011-08-12T11:12:00.003-05:00

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
Question: What rule has God given for our direction in prayer?
Answer: The whole Word of God is of use to direct us in prayer, but the special rule of direction is that prayer, which Christ taught His disciples, commonly called the Lord’s Prayer.
Scripture: Matthew 6:9-13; 2 Timothy 3:16, 17

WHEN I TALK TO DEB; WHAT I REALLY MEAN …

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means.... "As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow,
lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means.... "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means.... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really mean.... Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like
Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea."
Really means.... "It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day
gloating."

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means.... "I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means.... "I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means.... "The batteries in the remote are dead."

"I got a lot done."
Really means.... "I found 'Waldo' in almost every picture."

"We're going to be late."
Really means.... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"You cook just like my mother used to."
Really means.... "She used the smoke detector as a meal timer, too."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means.... "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means.... "Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means.... "I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
Really means.... "You want me to stay awake."

"It's a really good movie."
Really means.... "It's got guns and fast cars

GO DEEP WITH YOUR CHILDREN: EARLY AND OFTEN WITH THE GOSPEL

By Tad Thompson, Harvard Ave Baptist Church, Siloam Springs, Arkansas

One dilemma many parents face when challenged to saturate their home with the gospel is the issue of repetitiveness. As parents we often feel like we are telling our children the same thing over and over again. In one sense, this is a good problem. Our children need to hear the simple message of the gospel very clearly on a regular basis in our speech, prayers, songs, and scripture readings.

On the other hand, our lack of variety in gospel communication may be due to the fact that we are only scratching the surface of what the gospel truly has to say to us. I want to challenge you to go deep with your children. There is nothing quite as relaxing as a vacation at the beach. Sitting on the sand, soaking up the hot sun, listening to the waves crash against the shore, and gazing at the ocean is all a breathtaking experience. The ocean is beautiful on the surface, but a much different experience can be had if you strap on some SCUBA gear and go for a dive. When you dive into the depths of the Ocean there is a whole new world waiting for you. A world that is both fascinating and frightening. A world of beauty and risk. A world that is unseen, unless you dive in.

The same can be said for the gospel. On the surface, the simple message of the gospel is beautiful and life changing. But, when you dive into the Scripture you find that the gospel has tremendous depth, beauty, mystery, and wonder. When we dive into the depths of the gospel we discover the magnitude and greatness of the God we call father, His Son we call King, and His Spirit our helper. I want to challenge you with 5 ways to dive deep into the gospel with your children.

1. Teach Election
From the very beginning, teach your children that salvation belongs to the Lord. They need to know that the good news is God's work from beginning to end. Don't shy away from the doctrines of grace, teach them diligently to your children so that they will never boast in their own efforts. Help them to understand that the only way they will come or the only reason that they came to Jesus was because he chose them, drew them, and gave them the will and ability to come. Help them see that salvation is truly by grace through faith alone!

[3] Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, [4] even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love [5] he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, [6] to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. [7] In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, [8] which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight [9] making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ [10] as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
[11] In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, [12] so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. [13] In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, [14] who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.
(Ephesians 1:3-14 ESV)

2. Teach Total Depravity or Inability
The first line of Calvin's Institutes wisely declares, "Our wisdom, in so far as it ought to be deemed true and solid wisdom, consists almost entirely of two parts; the knowledge of God and of ourselves." Our gospel communication at home must include the truth about ourselves. The Bible clearly teaches that we are sinners, spiritually dead, and unable to please God. Sin has touched and damaged every fiber of our being:

1. It blinds us from seeing God for who he really is.
2. It deafens our ears from hearing his voice
3. It hardens our heart so that we have no affection for him
4. It debases our mind so that we do not understand the truth
5. It corrupts our stomach so our appetite is for the very things that will eventually kill us.

The horrible result of our sin is that we are spiritually dead, physically dying, and have no hope unless we are rescued by Christ. This is a part of the depth of the gospel, just as the ocean is full of sharks, so we are full of sin.

[4:1] Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. [2] But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. [3] And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. [4] In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. [5] For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. [6] For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shown in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
(2 Corinthians 4:1-6 ESV)

3. Teach the Role of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in the Gospel
When you communicate the gospel discuss the role of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in the word of Salvation. The Father elects, the Son came as our savior and rules as our King, the sprit draws, regenerates, and serves as our helper. I realize that this is an extremely abbreviated description, but there is much depth to be found when we discover what our trinitarian God has done for us in salvation.

[9] In those days Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. [10] And when he came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens being torn open and the Spirit descending on him like a dove. [11] And a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.”
[12] The Spirit immediately drove him out into the wilderness. [13] And he was in the wilderness forty days, being tempted by Satan. And he was with the wild animals, and the angels were ministering to him.
[14] Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, [15] and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.”
(Mark 1:9-15 ESV)

4. Teach Sanctification
Communicating the gospel means that you communicate the truth that God not only saves us from our sin, but he also transforms us. Do not leave sanctification out of the mix, teach it and MODEL it continually!

[15:1] Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, [2] and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.
[3] For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, [4] that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, [5] and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. [6] Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. [7] Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. [8] Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me. [9] For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. [10] But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. [11] Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.
(1 Corinthians 15:1; 1 Corinthians 15:2-11 ESV)

5. Teach Perseverance and Preservation
If you are Southern Baptist (or been at Faith Bible Church long) I am sure you are well acquainted with the phrase, "Once saved, always saved." Which at face value is certainly true, but the problem is that it has been equated to something not so true, "Once made a decision, always saved." This changed everything. There are many people who make a decision who are not saved. This is why we ought to teach perseverance, the truth that all those who are truly born again will persevere to the end.

The flip side of this doctrine is the truth of Preservation. The only way we can persevere is by God's preserving grace in our lives. He is the only one able to keep us from falling! So press on and persevere by His preserving grace, teaching these gospel truths to your children!

[15:1] Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, [2] and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. [24] Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy, [25] to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

(Jude 1:24-25 ESV)