I hope you’ve all had a wonderful start to the year. I know it is SO boring to hear about why other people have been busy (and I feel ridiculous saying it as I do spend time staring into space, thinking about stupid things) and yet that is my excuse, I’ve been editing and working and now it is TAX season. The kids are 7 and 9 now and it got easier for a while but now I feel like it is harder? Maybe it is just all the kid activities and the killer flu going around.

Anyway. Two articles for you, starting with one that I just loved and found today, written by Zadie Smith for British Vogue. I love everything Zadie writes and this is no exception…just a thoughtful piece about how she is approaching her closet in her late 40s. Relatable! And I absolutely love her approach that “everything has a season.” It helped me think about some items in my closet, because otherwise I’m also confused about what I can still “wear.” Everything? But what if I just don’t feel good in it? But then what if I don’t feel good about not feeling good? Why do we make things so difficult on ourselves? Anyway..

The second article I’m sharing is less inspiring but still thought provoking, a piece from the NYT: Obscene Prices, Declining Quality: Luxury is in a Death Spiral. I recently had the delightful experience of running to a blog reader at a publishing event (hi V!) and besides being excellent just to meet, we also shared our experience with luxury over the years…how we used to like it a lot and how we still do and yet consume so much less. Some of that is surely life stages but some of it I think is just….the value? It’s always been not a great value but still I didn’t feel I was being so stupidly taken advantage of before…and now I often do. So that’s changed.

As always, I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on the two pieces above, or anything else, your life, whatever you want to share with me! I feel this is a little community that we’ve made over the years…thank you for being here, and I hope 2025 has treated you well so far.

Sharing with you all here that I wrote a third book! I think some of you may already know (via Instagram, because that’s the only social media I use, although I’m bad at it). The novel is called The Satisfaction Cafe.

This story has lived in my head in various forms over probably the last decade. I was finally able to get it out in the last few years. I’m really proud of it and think it’s the best work I’ve done (though in truth I think all authors say that about their latest work).

It is still a while out before publication, but I’m excited for it. It’s been a difficult last few years, which is probably also why I haven’t posted a lot. I often think about that now, that you really don’t know what people are going through. I think about the stuff I used to get upset about, and judge people over, earlier in my life and feel embarrassed that I did. Life – while beautiful – can also be so hard. I try to remember that, and so wish to be a more compassionate and kind person. And yet, even as I’m writing this, I’m coming off of just having crazily yelled at some woman in a huge SUV who did a weird slow down/suddenly speed up sort of thing as I was trying to cross the street with the kids.

Anyway, I promise I will not inundate this blog with self promotional content, but please do allow me a few more posts on my novel as I head to July. It’s been my personal project and passion for so long. But I’m going to be checking in here more now that I’m through edits, and in a better headspace in general.

Finally, if my novel does sound good to you, I would truly appreciate a pre-order if you can – it’s a big help to me and the publisher! The relevant links to the big online shops can be found here (and linking Amazon directly as I know many of you use). Thank you, thank you. Thank you again. I hope you are all well. And talk soon!

First I just have to say: thank you so much for all of your kind comments on my blog post. To be honest, I posted, and then didn’t check back for several days, not because I forgot, but because of that same feeling as when you post something on social media where you’re sure no one is going to like it and you don’t want to see the indifference for yourself. You know what I mean? I feel so damn fortunate that anyone is still reading, much less this amazing group of women (and men)! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for still reading and being kind enough to comment/email/DM me so. Or just reading!

I don’t have a plan on what I’m going to post today (or in the future) so I think I’m just going to take it post by post and see how things evolve. Is that OK? I know there is a lot of demand for interviews, and I’d love to do them again, but I just have limited time. But I will. REALLY. One day!

Alright, let’s do some updates.

Life: The kids are getting older and are both in school until the afternoon now (was the same last year…before that one was out at noon every day). Hallelujah! Both are participating in drama this year, which I encouraged, because “mommy likes the arts” but I have only belatedly realized that means parents are expected to attend every single performance (I suppose because related persons make up approximately 100% of the audience). I have a friend who has long hair who said she had meant to cut it short but is keeping it long through the fall so she can have Air Pods in when necessary. Of course I think the kids rehearing their lines is adorable but I don’t think this is a terrible idea…

Shopping: I have a new terrible habit of buying things on J.Crew clearance, final sale, as a sort of gamble. WHY do I do this? I have no idea. But when I’m bored and browsing I’ll poke around the sale section. My tip is I won’t do anything at final sale which isn’t more than 60% off already. If it’s around 40-50% off I might try if it is returnable. But I really like a lot of J.Crew, and I have been liking it for quite a while! An example of something I recently snagged for super cheap is this Clio dress.

I also have a second terrible habit, which is that at some point I just gave up on the $1K mark being a crazy price point for shoes, or rather, I still think it is crazy, but now I’ve accepted it as a point of entry, and so I’ve been buying shoes. It’s awful! In the last month I have bought some Prada sandals (right when the weather is supposed to turn cool, yes) and have a pair of Chanel pumps on order. I’m worried about the latter as I generally find Chanel closed toe shoes uncomfortable (and the chunkier styles quite heavy). Alright this paragraph sounds ridiculously bougie. But I really like those orange Vivier pumps I shared above.

Reading: Okay, I’ve got some recommendations here! I know I owe a lot of book recommendations. Here are some recent favorites in different categories, something from all (or most) I hope:

All Systems Red by Martha Wells, for fun sci-fi

Liars by Sarah Manguso, if you want literary fiction or are really mad at your husband

All Fours by Miranda July, if you want literary fiction, are mad at your husband, or suspect you are in perimenopause and/or undergoing a mid-life crisis

The God of the Woods by Liz Moore, if you want a smart, well written mystery

Once Upon a Time, by Elizabeth Beller – If you can’t get enough of the Kennedys (well except for that one) and are a completist/worship CBK’s style (I do)

Sour Heart by Jenny Zhang, for literary fiction about Chinese American girls which I thought was so well done

Consent by Jill Ciment, if you want an interesting memoir about a large age gap relationship, by a memoirist who might have more freedom now that her much older husband has passed.

Okay so I am in need of inspiration – for style (purchases), beauty recommendations, books, and more! What have you been loving? Please do share!

Checking in and saying hello – I know I haven’t posted for a long time, and I’ve been thinking about writing an update for ages, but as time has passed I’ve just gotten more and more sheepish about it. So much time has passed! Is anyone still reading here (ever)? Bueller? Bueller? And yet I miss doing some sort of quick written update once in a while. Blogging seems so old and “out of date.” And I myself am so much older, and such a different person, than who I was when I first started this blog. I feel I’ve changed almost entirely, the things I care about now are so different (well….some things are the same, ha).

The kids are getting older, I’m getting older, obligations are changing. I have continued to buy clothes, of course, but I feel silly posting pictures of myself in them so I’m just recycling a photo I posted on Instagram with my cousin’s incredibly well fed Shiba. I also feel it is so silly to complain about being busy since we all are, but I’ll indulge myself and say that entire series of weeks go by when I feel I have spent basically all my time doing one form of work or another. I’m writing this in between a series of birthday parties stretching out in the day basically 10 AM to 10 PM (on a Sunday!). But I still miss blogging, and connecting.

So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. Keep writing here? Or start a Substack (oh Lord… I do not think I can learn a new platform). I STILL don’t really understand Instagram or any other social media…I mean I get how to post on it (most of the time) but I don’t really get what I’m supposed to use it for, sometimes.

I really don’t know what I intended to do with this post. It’s one of those where I’m like…yeah…you can’t take 4 month hiatus and then just post this. It’s nothing! And yet I think I will, just to say that I’m here, I’ve changed, I’m a different person, and yet in a way I’m the same, and if you’re reading, I hope you are different and the same too. Does that make sense?

If you’re a reader, please do update me how you are. I miss writing here and I miss you!