feathers-ink.com

Detours – Which one to follow?

connie — Fri, 14 May 2010 22:27:55 +0000

So, I have been doing this project playing around with this idea for several months now and as time passes I see many new things about myself…things that aren’t real easy for me to take.

I suck at completion of projects
I suck at completion of projects
I suck at complet

See what I mean? I get bored too easily with sticking with one thing and want to jump ahead to something else. My mom, the sweetheart that she is, says I have trouble finishing things because I am so intelligent and get bored easily so am constantly on the lookout for things that will keep my brain busy. You know how moms are though – their children are always brilliant, mine included.

The point is, the discovery of what I really need to do (or at least, what I think I need to do) has presented itself to me. In trying to keep up with setting this entire website up, marketing it, trying to constantly work on art projects, then taking pictures and posting them here on the blog has shown me that I have a new found respect for all those people who blog each day for a living! I had no idea the amount of stress and work involved! An idea I threw around for a while was to just write stuff and post pictures of other people’s work and hope to eventually make some money with it but now that I have had a taste of it, I don’t think I am cut out for that.

What I love to do is design websites. What I love to do is think. What I love to do is laugh. What I love to do is have a schedule to follow on a daily basis. Trying to do art each day has driven me more crazy than I already am so I thought I would just go ahead and post that I have basically made the decision to drop the whole idea I first created on here of doing an art project for 365 days. I enjoy doing my art as a hobby. Since this whole thing was started back in January, I have lost my creative urge and that really pisses me off. I have put too much pressure on myself to create and thus ended the creative juices from flowing, so now I say stop the madness!

Now that I have spilled my guts about that, I will work on changing the site up a bit and head off on another tangent which will hopefully lead me to the original goal when I first lost my job – creating a business for myself which is suited to my needs and desires. Wish me luck!

Feeling spunky

connie — Wed, 05 May 2010 21:25:25 +0000

Granddaughter’s birthday painting

connie — Mon, 03 May 2010 04:38:21 +0000

My granddaughter’s birthday is coming up on May 7 and I wanted to give her something a little special. So, I called her on the phone and asked what her favorite color was and what she liked the most. All of the things she mentioned I put into the painting. I really hope she likes it!

Very important video

connie — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 03:20:53 +0000

This is something I am very passionate about – driving safely. I get real pissy when driving and see someone not paying attention, speeding, texting, reaching for things in the back seat, etc. I am very proud of the fact that I have a Class A CDL with endorsements and have never been the cause of an accident since I was 17 years old, and I am almost as old as dirt!

People, when you drive a vehicle, don’t have your attention on anything else!!!

Now that I have gotten that out of my system I have to show this to you. I am a straight forward type person and it is my belief that sometimes all the talking in the world doesn’t do any good so you have to just give a visual, so here is the visual:

Watch this video

Jelly Belly Go Away!

connie — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 03:37:08 +0000

In the past 5 years I have gained 60 pounds and the majority of it is in my middle section, specifically my stomach. Imagine carrying around an extra 60 pounds strapped to your stomach on a daily basis. Today was the last straw and I am taking positive action. My height is 5′7″ and I have watched my size go from a size 14 at 140 pounds to a 18 tipping the scale at 202. My face has expanded out, my chin has doubled, and my arms are like two pieces of meat flapping in the wind whenever I do anything physical. Not a pretty picture from my side.

As I sat here on the computer today I made the decision to change my eating habits because I believe if a person eats a healthy diet and exercises, they can lose weight and maintain the loss. The kicker is, a person has to actually DO this to make it work. I admit to being horrible at sticking with any type of diet but I used to have no problem with exercising regularly. Now I have so much more weight to move around!

Enter this book I happened to find when I went to Walmart tonight to purchase some good healthy foods. I stood there and quickly scanned some of the pages and liked what I was reading. Why? Because it is not a diet and it has been tested for a long time and plus, it makes sense to me. The scientifics are explained in detail of what happens to the body when certain foods/drinks are consumed on a daily basis and how it affects the organs. I like how all that is explained because I am such a nerd. Prior to going to the store I was also reading up on some other types of things I can do to lose weight so I am taking it all and doing it.

I started drinking this stuff called “low carb whey protein”, chocolate flavored of course, and it seems to be curbing my need to munch. I must say that it is actually not bad tasting! A little note here – I don’t like anything to eat or drink that even looks like “artificial”. I eat real butter, drink whole milk, eat real eggs, and use real sugar. It is my opinion that these items are not the cause of my gaining weight, but rather my lack of controlling how much of these things I have consumed over the past 5 years. For years prior I have always eaten “real” food but the difference was, I exercised on a daily basis so I had no problem with gaining weight. Of course though, I was younger then too and that probably makes a difference.

Anyway, just since eliminating the sugar and caffeine today I already feel much better. Yes, I have a slight headache, but I can manage that. I even got on the clothes hanger tonight! That’s what my husband calls my treadmill. There was some burning smell when I first started walking on it – must have been all the dust bunnies being roasted.

I will do my best to keep my progress updated on this new lease on life I have found.

I love this guy!

connie — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 21:47:21 +0000

This is perfect!

Day 43 – Alice in Wonderland painting is finished!

connie — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:15:37 +0000

Well, my Alice in Wonderland painting is finished and up for grabs in my Etsy Shop. I took pictures outdoors in natural light but I am still not pleased with the quality of them which makes me think I may need to invest in a better camera.

Anyone following this blog will know that this painting was started twice as something else and ended up as this so there’s lots of depth with the colors on it and it is heavily textured as well.

Thanks for looking!

Day 42 – Alice is almost finished

connie — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:20:06 +0000

Not a very good picture once again, but at least you can get the idea of how Alice is coming along. I can hardly wait till it is all completed!

O.K., so damn…..

connie — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 15:24:57 +0000

I miss working away from home. What’s wrong with this picture? What’s wrong with me? Surely something in my brain matter is amiss. Here I have the perfect opportunity to create my own job doing what I love, setting my own hours, working at my own pace, etc.. But the pay is lousy because I find myself being one of those people who want to go to work and sit around doing nothing and get paid well with benefits for it but do nothing to produce a product to sell. Crap!

What does a person do to keep themselves motivated and on target to stay away from these types of thoughts? I subscribe to positive mental attitude reading material to make sure I don’t get in a funk, and still I find myself in that funk on what seems to be a daily basis. It’s a vicious circle of no motivation leading to depression and then being depressed because I am unmotivated. I miss being around other people each day. I miss having a schedule. I miss routine. And again I ask, what the hell is wrong with me???

Now that I have unloaded that, I realize from a response in my spam box that I haven’t been open enough with the fears and such going through my head here. A very eye opening comment it was and I am thinking I should go ahead and approve it because it really hit home. I was brought up in the old school where children were seen and not heard so I didn’t actually give myself permission to vocalize personal thoughts and feelings until a few years back…that’s a lot of years of “stuffing it”. I don’t spend a whole lot of time reading blogs because I tell myself I don’t have time for it – HA! That’s all I have is time! Stupid me. I could be learning so very much from these people in the world who are so willing to open their innermost thoughts and feelings to the universe, but noooo, I have to be this way and that way to create a good impression. Why? What does it really matter in the end result? I am who I am, like it or not, and I have worked for years to allow myself the right to be o.k. with that and now that I am here, whatever possessed me to think it was not all right any longer. Just because I don’t have a “regular job”?

I was diagnosed as being bi-polar several years ago and went on medication and saw a shrink and all the stuff which surrounds that. After taking the meds and feeling like a zombie, I talked to my doctor and asked him if I couldn’t make it without the drugs and after he said I probably could, I stopped taking them. I hated the feeling of “not feeling” because of the meds and have been off of them for like 4 years now. Basically I am happier overall and have learned how to cope with the extreme ups and downs and the depressions which hit sometimes. I have learned how to recognize when the signs of my behavior begin to change from manic to depressive and vice versa and what to do to deal with it. This past week has been a depressed week for me so I realize that is the reason for me posting this. The cycle is changing and moving on the upward swing. I am coming out of it and that is when I begin to see things about myself I need to work on. I think it is sort of like falling into a hole, crawling out, and then looking back and seeing where I took the wrong step that led me to fall into it in the first place.

Anyway, I just had to vent this and I hope what I have learned this go round is that I really need to spill my guts and be real more often!

Day 41 – progress on the Mad Hatter doll

connie — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 00:55:59 +0000

The Alice in Wonderland character, the Mad Hatter is coming along slowly but surely. For anyone following this blog, you will see that he now has face color. I guess that either my neck was twisted in an odd position or I had too much wine to drink when I sculpted this because his nose is all askew. Oh well, that’s sort of how I look at things in life so I think it will work out fine in the end.

Because I am not that experienced with making dolls, the whole process is a learning experience for me. Determining the character, the story behind it, and then to execute positioning the body to make it all come together is truly a challenge to me. I feel at times like I need to have a degree in engineering and architecture along with being a physician to make it work.

When I began the doll, I fully intended on him having movable arms and legs but one thing led to another and my imagination went sort of crazy and he is now in a fixed position. Once completed, the story will be told

As you can see, he has no hands or feet yet…another dilemma I am facing as I continue with this project. I know what I want him to look like. It’s just a matter of reaching that point. He will end up looking pretty cool though I think.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter holiday!