Feathers & Pasties

Becoming

2008-10-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

My gig last Saturday went fabulously. I really can't complain a bit aside from tripping over equipment on the stage when the light went out at the end of my number and gashed my knee open and bled all over my fishnets.
Ok...it wasn't THAT bad, but I did scrape it really good and I DID bleed all over fishnets...
I heard that the crowd was really loud while I was dancing- especially when I took my bra off and shook my black/green pastie clad breasts for the club to see. I didn't hear any of it. This thing happens when you're on-stage where all you hear is the music. You don't even think- it's as if the music is a script you're reading from and it triggers everything in the right sequence.
Everything worked without a single hitch. Coach had no notes- said I was flawless (if Im remembering correctly) and my friends said it was my best one yet. I loved it. It was comfortable, fun, exhilarating and more.

Then, last night I did my first in-home pole party with Coach and it was awesome. The ladies were fantastic. All ages, all body types and so open and willing to try anything. They were so sweet and hospitable I can only hope every party I do is half as good. Afterwards, Coach was telling the ladies about the program and how it affects people. I wanted to chime in but I got so choked up I couldn't speak. Im still so affected by it. I started dancing almost exactly 1 year ago. I went into it an insecure woman who didn't feel very pretty (even tho everyone told me I was) and couldn't dance. Every once-in-awhile, I hit a milestone in my path that causes me to get all teary-eyed. Dancing has changed and affected me in such a profound and deep way that is hard to share sometimes. I almost want to savor it alone for fear that sharing will belittle it. When Coach shared another woman's story it made me appreciate what she does for us exponentially more that I ever did (And I appreciate it tremendously) because of the tragedy that periodically walks in her door and emerges a few hours later feeling a little stronger, a little happier and a little more HERSELF.
I wish I had found this back when I was married, angry, alone, suicidal and on psych meds that were mis-prescribed for a mis-diagnosis. I kinda feel like it would have still led me down the same path of divorce from a burden of a marriage because of the closed-mindedness of my ex. But I also know that marriages have been given new life through her grooming of the female psyche.
I don't regret it. I regret the hatred my ex has for me and the effect it will eventually have on our daughter, but I don't regret leaving him for a moment. Before I stepped into that first Burlesque class I was on my path to myself- I was happy, I felt somewhat pretty, I was sexually expressive FINALLY and people thought I was funny. Now- Holy shit- Im shaking pastie-clad boobs in night clubs, Im a manager at my job, My relationship with my boyfriend has been going pretty damn good, my daughter is doing great...and check it out...I feel like ME. And for the first time in my entire life...seriously, Im not kidding...I LIKE me.

Kitten

2008-09-25T23:56:00.000-07:00

Ok, so you have to check out Kitten DeVille. She was part of the Velvet Hammer and still performs in CA as well as other areas in the US. I just discovered she teaches burlesque and I want to learn to shake and shimmy like that!!!!
OMG!

Show time

2008-09-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

So here I am, a week and a half before my performance and my number is barely roughed out. My costume is mostly finished- 6 or 10 yards of fringe later- but I still have some embellishing to do and pasties to make.
And gobs of practice at home so I don't let anyone down. I guess, worst case scenario, I could do my fan #, but that wouldn't be so acceptable to me.
So- Im hauling my ass and my boyfriend to the studio to work out as much as I can in an hour and maybe get some cool photos and Ill report back later to let you know how it worked out :)

Practice

2008-09-03T19:23:00.000-07:00

I need to practice.
I don't feel like it. I don't want to.
I need to. It will keep me strong for 2 gigs coming up. And in shape. If Im gonna be half (or more) naked, I better look damn good!
My daughter is starting first grade tomorrow- so I've labeled school supplies, made dinner (frozen pizza), made lunch and snack, gone over money with her, read memo's, cleaned up bugs (don't ask) and soon- getting her ready for bed. After- and ONLY after- that is done can I dance. Practicing today means pole dancing. It means warming up good and climbing the damn thing over and over and throwing myself upside down. It means working on shit that I struggle with (superman- safely) and working out things I know but need to smooth out (jasmine from the top of the pole-both legs crimped).
(1 hour passes)
Its now 8:59. I put the girl to bed. I fell asleep too. Now Im too tired. I keep saying, "tomorrow" and that's bad. I DID, actually do some crunches while she was putting her night clothes on. THAT'S something. But in a month I have a show...Shit.
Even if I just wiggle my butt to some music its something but my itunes library was corrupted and I have to re-load all my music from my external hard drive. PLUS- my playlists are gone. So- SHOOT...Damn...I cant dance without music, can I?

yes...I can. Guilt will get me in the end...

Cyd Charisse

2008-08-28T19:19:00.000-07:00

I was going to edit the last post and add this link to youtube of Cyd Charisse, but I thought, why not make a whole new one of me going GA GA over her.
Cyd Charisse was a prolific dancer who worked with the likes of Fred Astaire and Gene Kelley. A well-trained dancer and a gorgeous woman to boot, she made the silver screen sparkle with her skill and pizazz. Her dancing amazed me first: then, as I dug deeper, I was wowed by the fantastic costumes she wore in each film. Almost every single one was a bright color, flashy in one way or another and no expense appeared to have been spared. Feathers, fringe, tassels and sequins adorn her as they should.
So, here is my favorite video of her. I first saw it in Jo Boobs' blog (from the New York School of Burlesque) then my coach brought it up on her computer this past Sunday while we were training.
I don't think there has ever been a more perfect woman: Just LOOK at those LEGS!

Sally Rand

2008-08-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend last night about my Tribute post and she told me I should post the original Sally Rand fan dance from teh World's fair in 1934.
It's so beautiful it makes me teary.
Unfortunately- the whole thing isnt on Youtube, so Im embedding what they have.
Enjoy!

Tributes

2008-07-25T13:24:00.001-07:00

If you've never seen Michelle L'amour's tribute to Sally Rand, you really ought to click below to see it. I've read an interview with her where she comments on the process of creating the number. I'm paraphrasing, but in it, she not only discusses having to work with fans that weighed quite a bit (Sally Rand's 5 ft marabou fans were rumored to have weighed 40 lbs) but also in trying to convey the emotion and feeling Sally demonstrated- not copying her number. She did want the music to be authentic, so she chose the same version of Clair de Lune and also had the huge white tribute fans made by ostrich.com.
The one thing that struck me about her interview, was that she talks about the emotional load of tributing one of the most memorable and noteworthy burlesque dancers in history. Apparently, after practicing she would break down and cry. The same happened after she performed it the first time. Being an emotional dancer, it really makes me feel less like a freak that I cry all the time before and after dancing. Watching her video makes me cry.
I know that I want to do a tribute peice soon but finding the right woman to tribute as well as the right dance is important. These things come to me like visions- so I'll know it when I see it. The question will be- Do I want to laugh or cry?
Michelle L'Amour is, in my opinion, one of the most amazing and creative burlesque entertainers working right now. Her creativity and ability to span genres is impressive.
Take a look to see for yourself.