Feeling the Fiction

God Can Take It

2013-05-19T06:00:00.000-06:00

I often think about what my children will remember about me long after I am gone. Not so much what they will recall about me personally, but what life lessons I will have been able to impart. One of my main goals as a mom is to teach them that it’s okay on occasion to be angry with God. Just as we sometimes get angry with people that we love, it doesn’t mean we stop loving them; and God is no different. I never want my children to be afraid of God, as if He is sitting up there, watching their every move, just waiting for them to make a mistake so He can outpour His wrath. That is such a misconception. I want my kids to know that God is a Father, and like most fathers, He wants the very best for His children. He wants them to love Him and trust Him and talk to Him. He wants them to know that He’ll never leave them, nor forsake them… He’ll never turn His back when they’ve made a poor choice. I want my kids to know that God forgives them each and every time they blow it; and not only forgives them, but helps them dust themselves off and scramble back to their feet when they fall down.

Life isn’t fair…but that doesn’t mean it isn’t good. Bad things can and do happen to very good people and it is natural, in those circumstances, to question why God allowed it to occur. I’ve had my share of broken moments, where I have been screaming at the Lord, like an angry child… His angry child. Through it all, He’s never stopped loving me and I’ve never stopped loving Him. I trust Him because I believe in Him and He’s only ever shown Himself faithful and loving, even in my darkest hours. I can’t explain why terrible things happen, but I know that when they happen, I am never alone.

It’s okay to be angry with God, He can take it. It’s okay to question what is written in the Bible and what others say about Him. In fact, it’s good to question. Questioning is a form of seeking and seeking will bring understanding of the truth. I want my children to never render themselves spoon-fed without researching and studying the Word of God for themselves. I want them to know that God’s love is not conditional…that they can do nothing to earn it and nothing to lose it. He is eternal and so is His love for us.

Life is a mystery and everything can change in the blink of an eye; but it isn’t a mystery to God and He doesn’t blink or miss a thing so there is no reason to live in fear. I want my kids to realize that God is bigger than everything and He’s a good one to have on their side. We will endure hardship but He causes all things to work together for good for those that love Him (Romans 8:28)… that’s a promise to which I cling and I hope my children will as well. ~

An Abyss of Indifference

2013-05-18T06:00:00.000-06:00

Love comes in many shapes, sizes and colors but it never comes in the form of hate.

Hate comes in many shapes, sizes and colors as well, and it never stems from a heart filled with love.

The opposite of hate is love, but the opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference.

Love is the most powerful tool in the world.

Hate is the most destructive weapon.

They say there is a fine line between the two, but it isn't a line at all; it's an abyss of indifference and it will leave the soul completely void. ~

Get Up, Dress Up, Show Up

2013-05-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. The best cure for depression is action. It doesn’t matter so much what you do as long as you do something. Go outside. Go anywhere. Play with a pet if you have one. Hold them, squeeze them, give them some love and you’d be amazed how much it uplifts your soul. Interact with people. Smile at strangers, for when you see their face light up by your silent greeting, it will ignite something inside of you and you’ll begin to feel better too. Compliment another person and see how good it makes you feel to make them feel good.

Life gets clouded with all of the big things…careers, money, family, stress…but it’s the little things that matter most. The little things are truly what can make or break you in a moment.

Life is a gift that we get to unwrap every day. As we open our eyes each morning, a new day awaits us and we can make it anything we want it to be. We don't have to let depression conquer us. We don't have to allow sadness or loneliness to steal our joy. We can fight it. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's a battle worth the energy to fight. So, don’t wait to make life special… today is special. Wear that favorite outfit. Burn those candles you’ve been saving. Eat from the good china. Pull out the sexiest lingerie you own. Open the expensive bottle of wine. Don’t lie around hoping for a special occasion…create that special time now. We live once. Make it wonderful! ~

No Sex For You

2013-05-16T06:00:00.000-06:00

Have you heard about Mayor Hashimoto justifying military sex slaves? If not, read the Associated Press article from Tokyo: HERE

Word of warning, this blog will be a bit blunt. Apparently, Mayor Hashimoto said that, “The Japanese military's forced prostitution of Asian women before and during World War II was necessary to ‘maintain discipline’ in the ranks and provide rest for soldiers who risked their lives in battle.” He went on to say, "For soldiers who risked their lives in circumstances where bullets are flying around like rain and wind, if you want them to get some rest, a comfort women system was necessary. That's clear to anyone."

I’m sorry, Mr. Hashimoto, but it’s not clear to me.

Historians say up to 200,000 women, mainly from the Korean Peninsula and China, were forced to provide sex for Japanese soldiers in military brothels.

Those of you who know me or read my blog regularly know that I am pro-sex. I think sex is a wonderful thing and should be enjoyed, shared and indulged in by consenting adults in a loving relationship. Suffice to say, I think the world would be a happier place if everyone got laid more regularly. However, sex should never be forced or coerced. Period. There are no ifs, ands, or buts to that statement. There are no extenuating circumstances in which that rule can or should be broken. I don’t care if it is wartime and the men have blue balls. The men can relieve themselves, which is what should have been happening in the trenches instead of enslaving women to do it for them.

And please don’t tell me that providing women to the soldiers cut down on rape and assault. To that, I say bullshit. A better plan would have been to make daily masturbation mandatory for every male soldier. Mandatory masturbation would have certainly allowed the soldiers to obtain the rest that they required.

Shame on you, Mr. Hashimoto, for justifying the poor decisions of your previous leaders. You chauvinistic asshole! You've given the word "dickhead" a new meaning in my book and that's saying a lot. Slavery cannot be justified in any sense of the word, not sexually or otherwise. If you truly believe what you have publically spoken, then I pity you... for you have pissed off an entire planetary population of women. You bettter institute the mandatory masturbation plan for yourself, because I doubt you'll be getting any action from any female ever again.

Hashimoto: No Sex For You ~

Man Goes Batty with Bulldozer

2013-05-15T06:00:00.000-06:00

Flipping through the news stories topping Yahoo headlines today, I noticed one that read: Man Bulldozers Neighbor’s Home

It caught my attention so I read on. It appears that a man was upset because a fence blocked him from easily being able to move his logging equipment in and out of his property, so he wanted to have the fence removed. Evidentially, there was a dispute over the fence because several neighbors did not want it removed. Thus, he took his bulldozer and bulldozed the fence, three homes, a boat and a variety of other items not belonging to him. This is not the part of the story I found amusing. It is sad and tragic and I am thankful that in this rampage, no one was physically hurt or killed.

What struck me as comical is the comment from the man’s brother, who told reporters, “I think he snapped.”

You THINK he snapped?! I mean, did we have to stop and think about whether he was of sound mind when he bulldozed not one, not two, but three homes?

I’m not one to cast judgment. I, being part Serbian and part German, have quite a temper of my own. I can understand what it feels like to “lose it” or “snap” momentarily. I’ve chucked a deodorant bottle across the room, put a hole in a wall, broken a glass door from slamming it too hard, and bunny-footed the passenger side door of a black, Hyundai Scoupe. I’ve thrown a punch or two in my lifetime, broken a beer bottle over a guy’s head, thrown a chair at my boss and kicked a man in the nuts as hard as I could. I get it. People do stupid things out of anger and I’ve done my share. So, I can understand bulldozing down the fence. It was a source of contention and he wanted to destroy it. Hell, if I were there I’d have probably helped him take the fence down.

But… when he took to the homes and the boat, he obviously crossed the sanity line.

I feel sorry for the neighbors who had their home and personal belongings destroyed and I feel sorry for the bulldozing man as well. Anger is a powerful weapon and one that leads us all to actions and words we most assuredly regret afterwards.

What can we learn from this bizarre bulldozing news bite? Treat your neighbors with kindness and be considerate of their needs. Compromise when you can and sacrifice to help one another…because everyone has the ability to “snap” and you don’t want to wake up with a bulldozer in your living room. ~

I Don't Want to Go Off On A Rant Here, But...

2013-05-14T11:21:00.000-06:00

In the words of Dennis Miller, “I don’t want to go off on a rant here, but …”

Mean people suck and let me tell you why. Arrogance. The meanest people are the ones that proclaim to be nice and actually believe that they are. They are the people that believe that they have a right to speak into your life because they are so arrogant that they believe their perception of your reality is correct. They believe that they and they alone hold a truth you lack and therefore it is their responsibility to inform you of this so-called relevancy. They are the ones who drip outwardly with sweet verbal expressions but whose words are inwardly laced with condemnation, judgment, arrogance, contempt and elitism; all masked by a misguided appropriation of a Divine agenda they swear to possess but have not a clue. They have taken the Word of God and mixed it with their own ideas of God, thereby distorting the very truth from within. These people attack those that do not live according to their standards. They stand with hate signs while proclaiming love and I ask you, could there by more irony than this? Muslim terrorists blow people up in the name of God. Radical Christians tear people down in the name of God. Both proclaim to possess God’s agenda and both are sorely mistaken. God’s agenda is love. It has always been love. From Genesis to Revelations it speaks of love. Love one another, for if you do it will be impossible for you to be mean. That doesn’t mean you’ll never error, explode in anger or say something hurtful by mistake… but it means that even your mistakes will be made from a heart that was simply trying to love and not to attack, blow up or tear down. Mean-spirited people are not the hostile ones you see throwing their hands in the air or venting frustration… those are just frustrated folks. Mean-spirited people are the ones that live under the pretense of spirituality and purity and yet their hearts are filled with arrogance. Arrogance…the root of all evil. Arrogance…the root of a mean-spirit. Arrogance…the cause of destruction. Arrogance…distorter of the truth. Arrogance…deliverer of death.

God loves all of us equally. There are no levels of His love. Most importantly, He loves us because of who He is, not because of anything we do, did or didn’t do.

So, to all of the mean people….stop sucking...shut the hell up…and let’s just all enjoy this wonderful gift of life we’ve been given. ~

Mother's Day Mystery

2013-05-12T09:05:00.001-06:00

Looking for a last minute Mother's Day gift? How about giving her the gift of mystery and suspense? S.R.Claridge novels are available in all downloadable formats from Smashwords. It's immediate. It's easy. And Mom is sure to love it!

Start her out with a romantic suspense, like No Easy Way. Or start her on the Mafia thrill-ride of the Just Call Me Angel series. If it's political cult action she craves, House of Lies will keep her on the edge of her seat. Or Petals of Blood is sure to wet her whistle and make her long for more. Whichever you choose, or choose them all, you're sure to make this Mother's Day great!

My Mom Rocks!

2013-05-11T06:00:00.000-06:00

There are many wonderful moms in the world, but I think I was blessed with one of the very best. I could fill up hundreds of pages with examples of how great she is, but for the sake of space and time I will sum up.

My mom has never been “preachy” and yet has a deeper faith and a more genuine love for the Lord than anyone I know. She’s not judgmental or condemning and she's never arrogant. In fact, there have been many times in my life when, though I know she disagreed with me, she listened without argument and stood by me without wavering. In my darkest hours, she was there; loving me through, praying with me and helping me learn to forgive myself. She has traveled the country to be by my side at the drop of a hat.

She hasn’t only been there in the dark times…but in the fun times too. She has been a source of comedy and has a smile that can brighten any room. She’s gotten her arm stuck in a trash compactor, been treed by a German Shepherd and helped me drag a five hundred pound dead llama across a field in the St. Louis July heat. How many women can say that? She has taught me many little secrets to get through life, such as: Never wear sweatpants because anything with an expandable waist will allow you, too comfortably, to expand your waist. Always get up, put on your make-up and do your hair, especially when you are feeling blue. Slow down. Never give in to a spirit of fear. It's not about religion, it's about relationship. Always pray, it's the most powerful tool and weapon we possess. There are countless others, but these are just a few of my favorites.

My mom can sing, dance, play the piano, bake pies better than anyone on the planet and you will not find a more giving soul; but don’t piss her off because she can also shoot better than Annie Oakley. J

She's a writer (having written the published book entitled, The Forgotten Covenant) and a teacher, an excellet editor, a fabulous party planner and the best listener you'll ever find. She sews, gardens, creates, enlightens, nurtures, uplifts and encourages. She is truly like none other and she's married to pretty awesome guy, too. (But I'll tell you more about him on Father's Day.)

She opens her home to anyone and her heart to all. She has been my rock, my best friend, and my prayer warrior. What’s more, she is a wonderful grandmother to my kids. She’s smart, beautiful, silly, playful, energetic and fun. She’s my mom…and I don’t know how I got so lucky…but I’m thankful every day to have her in my life. I love you Mom! ~

Severed Ties

2013-05-10T12:00:00.000-06:00

There comes a time in life when you realize there is nothing more than can be said. You’ve tried all that there is to try. You’ve studied, prayed, researched, talked, listened, questioned, visited, pursued, reached, loved, held on and now, the only thing left is to let go. You can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. You can’t help someone who won’t admit to their own addiction. Only God can.

As I look back at the past several years of my life, I’ve been far from perfect. I’ve said things out of anger, spoken when I should have been quiet and been reactionary when I should have first allowed time to curtail my emotion. But… my mistakes have never been mean-spirited or with deliberate malice or meant as an action of hate. My mistakes have been made with good intent and out of love, even desperation, but never, never out of premeditated hatefulness.

Today, upon seeing an action of deliberate passive aggressive hatefulness toward me and my family and several friends, I have realized that it is time for me to let go. It isn’t that I will cease to love, but that I will cease to allow this person to have any reign in my life. It is no longer worth the pain. I cannot change the drug addict and I refuse to neither hand her the needles nor watch her shoot up nor pretend that I don’t see what she is doing to herself and others. That pretense causes me pain.

And you know what… since no one else is going to look after me and care that it causes me pain, I am. I may stand alone, but I am standing. I am standing against this addiction. I am standing against the elitism, the arrogance and the mean-spirited passive aggression. It is not okay and I’m not going to pretend that it is.

I am done with this person in my life. May God shed light upon the truth and save her and her family from the destruction of her behavior… that is my prayer. That is my hope. But, it is no longer something I will watch or have touch my life in any manner. All ties are severed. ~

To be Loved

2013-05-09T08:14:00.002-06:00

I received the sweetest love note from a stranger on Facebook and I just have to share it:

“I saw something in your face, something that made my heart pause to read you, something that tickles in the heart, could it be love at first sight? Maybe we could find that out,lol.

I'm talking about faith here when feelings are so powerful it's as if some force beyond your control is guiding you to someone who can make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.”

I obviously wrote back and told him I was married, but I also thanked him for the lovely note, which came at a time when I desperately needed an emotional boost. Sometimes it’s the words of a stranger that carry you through. Sometimes the people closest to you are too close to see what you’re feeling and it takes someone standing far off to realize that your heart is in need of attention.

Sometimes we get so busy with our schedules and activities and deadlines and meetings that we stop noticing people. We see bodies but not faces. We hear words but cease to sense the heart behind the words. Life becomes a blur of responsibilities and something inside just dies. We stop noticing. We become too busy to feel. Overwrought with exhaustion, life literally passes by and we don’t even know all that has been sacrificed.

We all have needs. Whether male or female, we all have an innate desire to feel wanted, pursued, craved, accepted, nurtured, and loved. We all need to feel like we are a priority in someone’s life…like what we feel matters and matters enough that they’d stop the world if they could to heal your soul. Isn’t that the magic we all seek?

To be loved in a way that transcends logic… to be loved senselessly...to be loved entirely. ~

Every-Day People with Great Stories

2013-05-08T05:30:00.000-06:00

I am currently working on a suspense story about a forty year old woman who finds herself overwhelmed by the prospect that her life is half over. With her children now in college, her wonderfully warm home has become an empty nest…a place where her big-shot attorney husband comes only to sleep, shower and change his clothes. She’s lonely. For eighteen years her life has revolved around her children, their interests, their activities, and their dreams. Somewhere along the line she lost herself in them and now that they are gone, she wonders if life is even worth living. Her lavish home in an upscale neighborhood feels like nothing more than a million dollar shroud of loneliness. Her hopes and dreams have all but been forgotten until an old friend reminds her of a passion once pursued, now lying dormant, but still very much a part of her heart.

If you are in this age group and have felt this empty nest syndrome…I would love to hear your story. How did you handle it? How is your life different today? Email me at: AuthorSRClaridge@gmail.com

Behind every great novel are the great stories of every-day people. ~

VIP-ness

2013-05-07T06:00:00.000-06:00

My dad bought VIP tickets for my mom, me and my two children to see Disney’s Mary Poppins in Denver on Sunday. First, let me say that this show was off-the-charts incredible! The talent was phenomenal, as one would expect from Disney. The set design was magnificent and kept the crowd amazed. The overall production was above excellent. We enjoyed every single moment, leaping to our feet at the end to give a well-deserved standing ovation. All that to say this: if you have the opportunity to see this show in a city near you, go. It is well worth the time and money spent.

While we were there a funny thing happened. The usher took our tickets and led us to our seats, third row from the orchestra pit. At which time, my mother informed him that we had VIP tickets, which meant the kids were to receive a special gift. The usher must have been new because he didn’t recognize that our tickets were the designated color for VIP status; thus, he instructed my mom to go to the box office and get some sort of voucher that would prove we had paid for the VIP upgrade. Off she went.

The usher then turned and said, “You’d be surprised how many people try to fake their VIP-ness.”

“Their VIP-ness,” he said in front of my ten year old and twelve year old, who somehow managed to contain their laughter until we got home. You see, at ten and twelve the word “penis” is comical. Hell, I’m forty-two and the word still provokes a comedic response in me.

So, as we were getting ready to go to bed that night, my son says, “We learned something very important tonight.”

My daughter and I pause and look to him, as if something deep and meaningful is about to come forth.

He grins and says, “Never fake your VIP-ness.” We all laughed until it hurt. And that’s how inside, family jokes are born. ~

The Nagging Pays Off

2013-05-06T10:24:00.000-06:00

This weekend I had a very proud parenting moment. I have been fortunate to have many proud parenting moments, but I don’t always take the time to write about them. Instead, they stay quietly woven into my heart where they will remain forever treasured.

The proud parenting moment to which I am referring involved my son and the good choices he made. As a mom, I often feel that I nag and nag and nag and wonder if my words ever really sink in and if the message is heard. This weekend I learned that my nagging has not been in vain. My message has been received, processed and put into positive action…and I got to secretly witness it. Here’s what happened: My son was playing with some friends, one of which was using extremely foul language and making some inappropriate remarks. I was about to say something, when my son told him if he didn’t stop cursing and saying bad things that he was going to have to leave. I stood shocked. Later, while the boys were playing Xbox, the same child told my son he was terrible at the game and called him a loser. I was ready to charge into the room, demanding he apologize…but there was no need. My son calmly paused the game, looked at the other kid and said, “If you say one more bad thing about me, you’re going home.”

I tell you, I was gleeful at how well he handled the situation. He didn’t yell, say anything derogatory back or retaliate in any way. He simply and politely stood up for himself.

I am SOOOOOOOOOOoooo proud of him and happy to know my nagging pays off. J

Mars Madness

2013-05-03T06:00:00.000-06:00

Have you seen the story about people applying for a one-way ticket to Mars? If not, click HERE to read it.

Now, I have to ask myself, isn’t a one-way ticket to Mars similar in theory to volunteering to be a Kamikaze pilot or a suicide bomber or going on death row? I mean, a “one-way” ticket implies that these people are never coming back.

There are other matters of which we should be concerned:

Is there any type of medical facility up there in case of an emergency? What is the plumbing system like and what happens if a toilet clogs?

What do they do for fun? Undeniably they will get bored and if they are of opposite gender, most likely, eventually have sex…so what happens if a woman gets pregnant on Mars? Is there a doctor who can deliver the child?

If a baby is born up there do they have citizenship on Earth as well, or do they need some type of visa to visit Earth? Also, of which Earth country would they hold citizenship?

What happens when someone dies? Are they buried on Mars or is their body thrust out into space?

Wouldn’t it make more sense to try and set up a colony on the moon first? It is closer and we could probably get people back to Earth if the need arose?

I’m going on record saying this is a very bad idea. ~

Big Idiot Gone Off Track

2013-05-02T06:00:00.000-06:00

I am a heterosexual, Caucasian woman, married to a heterosexual, Caucasian man. We have friends of all shapes and sizes. Some are Caucasian, African American, Asian, Mexican and Indian, some are heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual, some Christian, some are Jewish, some are religious and some are not. The point is our friendships are based on each individual person and not on color, race, religion, sexual preference or affiliation to any particular group.

That being said, I want to share what happened to me the other day. I was speaking with a woman I had just met and she was asking me questions about where my children take lessons, on which teams they play, etc. It was a typical mom-to-mom type of discussion. At least, it started out that way…

When I mentioned one of the affiliations we have, her expression changed. It was as if her emotions flat-lined and a disapproving glare filled her eyes. She leaned in closer to me and whispered. “Doesn’t it bother you to have your children exposed to a homosexual lifestyle? Don’t you feel that’s setting a bad example for them?”

All I could do was step back in shock. I was utterly amazed at the bigotry that faced me. We were in public so making a big scene wasn’t an option. I smiled politely and said, “No, these particular people are not only my friends, but they are a wonderful influence on me and my children.” I excused myself and left; but it got me thinking…

I remember years ago when a very close friend of mine was told that she couldn’t work with a church youth group because of her sexual orientation. I was livid then, and I’m still livid now. This woman is one of the godliest people I know. She’s unpretentious, she’s honest, she’s open and trustworthy. I consider her to be one of my most reliable prayer warriors. In fact, on 9/11 when for seven long minutes I didn’t know if my husband was on one of the United flights out of Boston, she was the first phone call I made. I love her to death and the pastor who denied her the ability to work in the youth group made a terrible mistake. There would have been no greater influence on those teenage lives than this woman.

Bigotry comes in many packages, but is most commonly wrapped up with a big, bright bow of religious righteousness. What the bigot doesn’t understand is that there is nothing righteous in the condemnation or judgment of others.

Jesus said to love others. He didn’t say to love them only if they fit into your close-minded box of what you deem is right or good. He simply said to love one another. And here’s a statement that should get the right-wing religious panties in a wad: Jesus didn’t say to try to change others. He said only to love them. Some religious people become arrogant about their ability to befriend a homosexual, as if the very fact that they are embracing what they consider to be a “sinner” makes them godlier. In reality, their arrogance makes them less godly.

People…we are equal in God’s eyes. Color, religion, race, sexual orientation…none of it matters. We’re equal. We all have our challenges and we all face our own demons. Life is difficult enough without judging one another on top of it.

What is a Bigot? Big. Idiot. Gone. Off. Track.

I think we need to stop grouping people together and start looking at individual hearts. ALL homosexuals aren’t bad influences any more than ALL heterosexuals are good influences. Truth be told, I’d rather have my kids exposed to a loving relationship between two people of the same sex than a violent, hateful relationship between two people of the opposite sex. Which one better teaches them the meaning of love and commitment?

Choose who will be in your life based on the connection you feel on the inside, not on the exterior pre-judgments of a religious society that has ironically condemned, degraded and abused more people throughout history than any other group.

Love God. Love others. It’s really that simple. ~

Rail Thin is NOT in!

2013-05-01T05:30:00.000-06:00

If you haven't read the story about Kelsey Williams, read it here.

Seriously? I mean, SERIOUSLY?!

First of all, to the blogger who even brought up the topic of cheerleader, Kelsey Williams, weight, shame on you. Go look in a mirror.

Second, Kelsey isn’t fat. She’s not thin as a rail, but so what? Neither is 99.999999% of the American population.

Third, she’s a very pretty girl and if we’re going to blog about her, why not blog about her beauty instead of her weight.

Here’s the skinny on the whole “skinny” thing: Most men don’t like rail thin women. Men want curves. They want an ass they can grab and a pair of breasts in which they can bury their face. I guarantee you most men look at Kelsey and think, “Wow!”

What’s more is most women don’t like other rail thin women. Why? Because they’re not as much fun to be around. I don’t like to hang out with the skinny chicks who spend all of their time talking about yoga class or their next cleansing diet. It’s boring. I want a girlfriend who’s going to drink Margaritas with me and pig out on a plate of nachos, followed by a humongous chocolaty dessert!

Rail thin is NOT in!

There’s a reason why women like Sophia Loren, Marilyn Monroe, J Lo, Catherine Zeta-Jones, etc. are deemed some of the most beautiful women in the world. They’ve got curves and I bet any one of them would choose to have a fun, fattening lunch over a cycling or aerobics class any day of the week.

So, Kelsey Williams, you keep on being you! You look beautiful! ~

Gender Line

2013-04-30T06:00:00.000-06:00

I have to share a portion of a letter I received from a woman whom I have never met in person, but have been virtual friends with for the past several years. She has given me permission to discuss this topic because we have grown to a place where we are now able to laugh about it; but I will not be using her name.

This is what she wrote:

I’d like to meet you face to face because I find myself strangely drawn to you. I know you’re married but I can’t stop thinking about you and I’d like us to be closer. There’s something deeper in you that draws me and attracts me and I want to know you better.

The rest of the letter is more personal and doesn’t need to be exposed. Suffice to say, had this letter come from a man I would have disregarded it; but, since it was written by a woman, I felt compelled to respond.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been confronted by a woman, but this time was different. This particular person wasn’t “hitting” on me in the context of some sexual innuendo, she was reaching toward me because she felt (in her words) “comfortably close” to me.

This got me thinking…

Whether male or female we don’t control to whom we find ourselves attracted. Our only control is over actions taken on the basis of that attraction. Sometimes even gender lines can blur. Now, I realize in making that statement that I’ve just angered every evangelical, right-winger out there…I’m sorry. Still, a soul attraction can occur and that isn’t based on the exterior, but forms from something that shines and connects from the inside.

There are people on the planet that simply make you feel good, that make you feel loved and appreciated and even adored. There are human beings with whom you connect, and we don’t get to choose who they are…sometimes they just find each other, as if magnetically drawn. Loving someone doesn’t mean the relationship has to be sexual…sometimes just being closely knit is powerful enough. There exists a magic in being “comfortably close” to another person and I’ve come to realize that that magic cannot always be determined or defined by a concrete gender line. ~

Readers ROCK!

2013-04-29T08:05:00.001-06:00

Whenever I complete a manuscript and head into the editing process, my blogging slows down, which is what has been happening these past two weeks. Editing is not as much fun as the creative process of writing, at least not for me; though I will say that I don’t despise it altogether. It is a necessary evil, but the outcome is good.

So, please bear with me these next few days as I attempt to fine tune my manuscript. After which, I will resume blogging regularly and will share some very funny letters I’ve recently received from readers.

As always, thank you for reading my blog and my books. Readers ROCK! J

More Magic Levels the Field

2013-04-23T06:46:00.000-06:00

School dances are both exciting and horrifying, depending upon which side of the “cool” spectrum you sit. For some, there’s a great deal of pressure in Prom, and I’m not just talking about finding a date.

For a secure, popular child, Prom is a dream-come-true event. For an insecure, socially awkward child, it’s a nightmare.

As an adult I can now look back and understand why some of the kids I knew chose not to attend our school’s formal dances. At the time I thought it was simply because they couldn’t find a date, but now I realize that many of them never attempted to find a date. Despite the fact that they might have liked to have gone, they weren’t willing to try and overcome the socially incomparable hurdles.

See, for a popular girl from a wealthy family, there are only two hurdles to master: A date and a dress. Mom and Dad pay for dinner and a limo and the night is one to remember.

For a girl who is not popular or wealthy, it becomes overwhelming. How will she afford a dress and particularly one that will compare to what the rich girls are wearing? She can’t pay for a hair stylist or a manicurist and a limo is completely out of the question. When she walks into that dance, right or wrong, she already feels inferior to the others…even if she’s the most beautiful person in the room.

Boys go through some of the same obstacles.

Some schools have tried to combat this by making dances informal instead of formal. I can see from where the thought process derived, though I strongly disagree with the conceptual output. Minimizing the magic of a dance by allowing people to wear jeans instead of suits and dresses doesn’t make the socially awkward child suddenly fit in. My suggestion would be just the opposite…increase the magic by making it a themed event.

This is why I love costume parties!

When you make a dance a “themed” event, you open it up for the socially awkward to creatively thrive. It tweaks the focus so the gossip from the evening isn’t a degrading gasp of, “OMG! Did you see what she was wearing?” But rather a surprised expression of, “OMG! That was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!” The “cool” factor of the night becomes about creativity and not about who has the most expensive gown. In essence, a costume party levels the playing field for the night and allows everyone the opportunity to shine from the inside out. The boy who suffers from terrible acne is intriguing and alluring in his Phantom mask. The girl whose embarrassed by her thin, limp hair suddenly comes to life adorning a long, curly princess wig. The math geek who sits in the corner of the class and only speaks when answering a calculus question, is able to show he can humorously embrace his own intelligence by wearing an Albert Einstein costume.

Sometimes, particularly in high school, we get trapped in stereotypes and the real person inside sort of withers. We look at others and size ourselves up…. I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. I’m not smart enough. I don’t have any money. My clothes aren’t designer. My feet are too big. I have acne. My teeth are crooked. My hair is stringy. And that tiny voice inside gets drowned out…you know the one…the one that says, “You’re beautiful. You’re special. You’re talented. You’re unique. You’re important.” We start believing what we hear others saying and all of a sudden we think that we’re not good enough to attend the school dance.

But…that’s a lie.

Some kids might not be the popular or the cool ones…but they just might be the most creative ones and the most fun to hang around. A dance shouldn’t push the socially awkward away, it should be the stage upon which they shine. ~

WBC: May You All Be Gay

2013-04-19T06:00:00.000-06:00

Did you know that the website for Westboro Baptist Church is www.godhatesfags.com? I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked and yet, when I saw it, I found myself utterly speechless. How deep must hate run in order to choose this name as your “church” website? I cannot even fathom it.

Westboro has a history of repulsive behavior, none of which is Christ-like nor glorifies God in any way, shape or form. They should not be allowed to bear the title of “church” as they are not a House of God, but rather a house of hate.

They picket soldier’s funerals and hold signs that not only proclaim hatred toward homosexuals, but blame the homosexual community for terrorist activity and natural disasters; claiming it is the homosexual that causes God’s wrath upon the earth.

This is the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard…but the scary thing is, there are people who actually believe it. How shallow is their soul! How empty must they be to scarf up this type of filth and believe it holds some form of spiritual nutrition?

Westboro tweeted that they plan to picket the funerals of the victims lost in the Boston Marathon bombings. They also wrote:

“GOD SENT THE BOMBS IN FURY OVER FAG MARRIAGE!"

It got me thinking… if I could have one Superhero power for one hour, I’d make all of the terrorists in the world spontaneously combust and I’d turn all of the Westboro Baptist Church members into homosexuals. (Though that wouldn't be a very nice turn of events for the homosexual community.)

I wonder if they would carry their “God Hates Fags” signs then? I wonder if they would blame every hurricane, tornado, bombing and shooting on themselves? I wonder…

On that happy note

I will leave you with this hope

This simple prayer I pray

Let Westboro all be gay. ~

Everything You Could Want - Mafia Style

2013-04-18T05:00:00.000-06:00

I’ve been working on the fifth book in the Just Call Me Angel series, which has given me the opportunity to learn more about the Mafia in the States and abroad. The research has been fascinating. As I’m wrapping up the story, I realize my brain is already working on the next book, causing me to go back and plant tiny seeds of relevance for future installments.

Part of the fun in writing an Italian Mafia series is in naming my characters. I first develop the character’s outward appearance, pointing out some basic attributes like height, weight, hair color and eye color. Occasionally, I note whether they have a pointy chin, squinty eyes or dimpled cheeks. Next, I’ll describe any quirks they might possess. For example, they might pop their gum, twirl their hair, fidget in their seat, or waddle when they walk. Next comes speech. I’ll assign an accent or an impediment; describe the pitch of their voice and any frequent phrases, like “babe” or “sweetheart,” “Merciful Heavens” or “crazy-ass.” At this point, I usually feel as if the character has been brought to life and is in need of a backstory, if applicable to the plot, and a name.

I find names in various places. From television programs, to the radio to internet searches, names are literally everywhere. Sometimes one will just stick with me and other times I combine parts of several names to make a unique one. Here are some of my favorite names from the Just Call Me Angel series:

Giovanni Maratinzano, Salvatore Buscetta, Enzo, Stephen Manucci, Joseph Venturini, Charles Andriachini, Rinaldo Rosenalli, Grayson Gallente, Mike Maletta, Carlos Cullato, Sean Shepherd, Scotrovi, Anya Grovashik, Stefano, Dr. Manzini… just to name a few.

After the real name has been assigned, I get to give pseudo-names or mobster names and this is where it gets really fun. In the series, I have had characters called The Shark, The Snake, Big Mike, Trig, Chito and T-Rex.

There are good cops and bad cops, Tasers, grenades, Uzi’s, comedy, drugs, drama, a love triangle, sex and most of all revenge done mafia style. It has everything you could want in a suspense series, so if you haven’t joined the fun yet… pick up your copy today.

Hate: The Root of Terrorism

2013-04-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

There are many faces of terrorism. Terrorism by definition is the act of inflicting terror. It is not limited to a particular race, religion, political affiliation or nationality. It comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. It cannot be stopped because it cannot be seen until after it has unleashed its wrath.

In the wake of what happened Monday in Boston, it is difficult for me to listen to the peaceful activists who rise up to defend the international terrorists by saying, “How do you think they feel when our troops come to their countries, destroy their homes and murder their loved ones?”

First, we don’t know if what occurred in Boston was the work of an international terrorist or a domestic one. All we know is that it was indeed an act of terrorism. Regardless, a terrorist’s actions should never be defended.

Second, and some have called me naïve, I don’t believe our American troops go into other countries and intentionally blow up innocent people. I know there have been situations where innocent lives have been lost, but I do not believe the act was with intent and malice. I know many US soldiers from several military branches and none of them have ever spoken of killing innocent women and children merely for the sake of killing. None of them have pretended to blend with the culture, waited for a crowded event like the Boston marathon and then planted explosive devices so that they could kill unarmed, non-violent citizens. We can debate whether or not our troops belong in other countries…but I will not believe we go there with terrorism in our hearts.

This marks that pacifist argument void in my book.

I’ve taken some flak for my harsh anti-terrorism view, but it doesn’t change my stance. I understand it sounds harsh, but I believe all terrorists should be killed. Let me put it in softer terms, though the outcome is the same…I believe that what comes around should go around; what is sown should be reaped. Or, I can put it this way: Karma. Whatever you want to call it, I believe it’s time to take a stand against all terrorism and against all hate, regardless of what face it bears.

There are more good people in the world than bad. There is more kindness than hatefulness, but what happens is that every act of terrorism causes a dual reaction among people. It can either paralyze people into a fearful existence or it can empower people into a positive position of helpfulness. Let it do the latter.

Goodness, helpfulness, love, peace and truth will prevail in the end, but let me say this: They will not prevail by taking a pacifist stance and excusing terrorist behavior. They prevail by ridding our nation and our world of terrorism. They prevail by stopping the hate, not explaining it away, justifying it or ignoring it.

Take a stand against hate in all of its many forms, and love will conquer. ~

Me...In A Nutshell

2013-04-16T09:28:00.000-06:00

“Where does a person go to fit in when those of her own faith judge her to be too pagan and worldly?”

I saw this quote on a Facebook status the other day and it stuck with me. Maybe it’s because it is the story of my life and the constant pondering of my soul. You see, the greatest judgments in my life have come from those that share my faith, but do not share my religion because, as it would seem, I have none.

There is a vast difference between religion and relationship and I truly believe that God doesn’t care what religion you practice as long as you have a relationship with Him. I believe He wants you to know Him and love Him as much as He loves you. Does it matter if you worship the Almighty on a mountaintop or in a pew? No. It only matters that you worship Him.

Hate and violence stir our nation, and they stem from one source…judgment. Mother Teresa said, “If you’re judging someone you are too busy to love them.” There are countless verses in the Bible that speak against judging others. The reason for this emphasis is that judgment stems from a spirit of hatefulness masked in an evangelical motive of purity labeled “God’s Agenda.”

But it is wrong.

The world may end in judgment, but the agenda of the Most High is one of love first, followed by mercy and compassion. Put your hate signs down. Stop your condemnation of others. If you need to point a finger go look in the mirror. Fight against the enemy, not against one another. Who IS the enemy? Hate is the enemy and it shows itself in the form of judgment derived from pseudo-godly arrogance and elitism.

Let me pose an odd question: How many atheists are judging others for their beliefs or lifestyle choices?

Now, I’m not saying I think people should become atheists. I’m merely pointing out that somewhere along the line it seems that the "religious" people have picked up the torch of hate and have begun terrorizing the villagers and burning the towns…all in the name of God, which is ironic since God is love, not hate.

Love is the most powerful influence in the world, and its counterpart, Hate, is the most destructive weapon known to mankind. It starts in the heart and is fed by arrogance until it finally manifests itself in an act of violence against others. "I'm right and you're wrong," is the foundation of judgment. "I hold the truth and you are deceived," is the foundation of judgment. Judgment, fed by arrogance and elitsim results in hateful actions, some of which can manifest violently.

I may not have a “religion” that those who share my faith can understand; but I have a relationship with God. You won’t see me in church every Sunday, because quite frankly, I don’t always feel close to God while I’m in church. You won’t find me handing out tracks, putting ‘Life’ tape over my lips or holding a sign that says ‘God hates homosexuality.’ I refuse to cast judgment on anyone else. I'm not "right" and I don't hold a "truth" that isn't available to anyone else. Thus, it isn’t my place to spew forth judment and frankly, I don’t want to carry the hatefulness that accompanies judgment in my heart.

Hate destroys. Whether you use a gun, a bomb, a knife, a rope, a sign or your words…hate brings about destruction; internal and external. And if you are invoking judgment and destruction in the name of God or under the guise of His agenda, shame on you. Shame, shame, shame on you.

I once had a fellow Christian scoff at me and say, “Well, how many people have you led to Christ?” I didn’t answer, for it was none of her business. That answer is between me and God. I should have asked her, “How many people have you chased away from Christ with your judgmental arrogance and hateful elitism?” That is the real question.

People of my faith don’t always like me…and I’m learning that that’s okay. God likes me and He loves me and my faith is established in HIM alone and not the man-made, religious rules that cause damage to others. Jesus said to love others, not judge them. "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Would you stand in your own yard with 'Life' tape on your mouth? Would you stand in your own yard holding a "God hates ME" sign? Would you treat yourself the way you are treating the rest of the world who doesn't agree with you?

I might be nuts, but in the words of Gladys from the Ellen Show, “I love Jesus, but I drink a little.” J That’s me in a nutshell. ~

A Facade of Peace

2013-04-15T09:09:00.002-06:00

Have you ever tried to please everyone in your life and then, all of a sudden, you realize you’re the one that’s miserable? Why do we do that? Why is acceptance so important that we’re willing to give up our dreams or try to change who we are? I’ve been pondering these questions as of late…

I think we all have an innate need to be loved, but we also need to feel that people like us, respect us and desire to be with us. This urge can become so strong that we sacrifice who we are in order to please those around us. We give up everything we believe in, in order to keep the peace.

Loving someone often means you sacrifice for them and they, for you. This is called relational balance. It’s a mutual giving and taking. It is based on a level of respect for one another. Loving someone means that their concerns become your concerns, that their heart means as much to you or even more to you than your heart, that their dreams and aspirations become your goals as well. It means you don’t idly stand by and watch them pursue something dangerous, because you love them too much to see them hurting. Love can be wonderfully easy at times and it can be devastatingly tough.

There are some people, however, who are one-sided. They expect you to sacrifice everything for them and give nothing in return. They are the ones who proudly boast, “This is who I am; you can accept me or get out.” They are unwilling to share in a balanced relationship; thus, if you desire a relationship at all you end up being the one to change in order to keep things harmonious or peaceful for them. These relationships are hollow and empty. They are but a shell of what once was and the dwindling hope of what could be.

If one person cares only about themselves, then how can a relationship exist? They force the other person to change, to keep quiet, to live a shallow lie so that they can continue doing what they’re doing and pretending that it isn’t hurting anyone else. It’s like a drug addict that refuses to get help and kicks from their life anyone who tries to intervene. If everyone around the drug addict sits down and shuts up and merely watches them spiral deeper into the abyss, taking everyone close down too… is that love?

Or is love standing up, even though it’s tough, and saying, “You’re hurting everyone with your selfishness. Open your eyes.”

Sssshhh. Quiet. We don’t want to upset the addict. We don’t want them to become angry and distant. We want peace. Are they not already distant? Is a hollow, empty lie worth the façade of peace?

Let me pose another question: If, in order to be accepted, you must kick from your life everyone who is not exactly like you; are you really being accepted?

I ponder these things… ~

Poisonous Prophets

2013-04-14T06:00:00.000-06:00

In an email from a member of a cult group of which I will not name, I was accused of being a bad example of Christianity because I was “not believing” in prophetic visions or “offerings” from God.

"The bad example you set by claiming to be a follower of Christ and then not believing in the prophetic offerings given from the Lord will bring about destruction."

I want to publically set the record straight, as this accusation has now been thrown at me numerous times. The Bible talks about the gift of prophesy, therefore I do believe in its existence. It also speaks of false prophets and I do believe in their existence, especially within this particular evangelical group. My only argument on the topic of prophetic offerings has been that there should be no inaccuracies in a prophetic word that has come from God. The Almighty is perfect. He does not error. Therefore, if a word or a vision is truly from Him then no part of it will be false. There is no exception to this rule.

It is not that I don't believe in prophecy, it is that I only believe in accurate prophecy.

Excuses have been made by evangelical power-seeking leaders, stating that prophetic words are no longer expected to be 100% accurate, that human emotion, ego and misguided intentions can lead to misinterpretation and even that demonic influence can affect the given word. To this, I say, bullshit. Show me anywhere in the Bible where God says it’s okay to distort His word.

Truth is truth. Lies are lies. God is ALL truth. Satan is ALL lies often manifested as half-truths or twisted truths.

Here is why an inaccurate prophetic word cannot be excused with a sigh and a head tilt, and an, "oh, well, the flesh gets in the way sometimes." If you're allowing the flesh to get in the way than you are not a prophet of the Lord, you are nothing more than a glorified psychic.

If you are a Christian then you possess within you the gift of the Holy Spirit, which is the indwelling of God's Holy Spirit. If God gives you a prophetic word to deliver to someone else or to a group of people, His Holy Spirit within you will confirm that word 100% and when you go to speak it, you will not be nervous, afraid or have any red flags going off in your head, heart or spirit. If there is even one teeny-tiny sense of apprehension inside of you...if there is even one teeny-tiny element of the word that is not completely accurate, then do not speak that word because it is not from God.

Every prophetic word...and I mean EVERY prophetic word that is from the Lord will be able to be confirmed and backed-up in every aspect in the written Word of God.

If you want to go off half-cocked, spouting half-truths and words riddled with inaccuracies then go get yourself a job as a psychic. But don't proclaim those falsehoods to be from the Almighty.

In all of the finger pointing at me, this particular cult group seems to have missed one very important element of Christianity. The Bible. The Bible is the living Word of God. It is a culmination of the beginning and the end. It encompasses everything. God isn’t adding to the Bible because nothing needs to be added. As you seek wisdom and knowledge, revelations of God’s truth become alive in you and you see things as you haven’t seen them before. This is what the term "living Word" means. The magic is that you can have read the same verse twenty times and it meant nothing to you, and then, all of a sudden, at the right moment in your life, when it is applicable, that same verse leaps from the page and nurtures your soul. God’s Word feeds His children the right spiritual food at the right time. It’s a personal walk.

God isn’t adding to the Bible, there is no sequel; everything is already in there, so if YOU are adding to it then you must realize that what you are adding is NOT from Him, but more likely from your own ego or from some form of spoon-fed deception. Open your eyes.

God doesn’t feed the false prophets, they feast on their own arrogance.

There are cult groups who like to behave as if God has given them a key to unlock the mysteries of His Word. Jesus is the key and Jesus was given to everyone. God isn’t entrusting a select few with the agenda of His Son’s glorious return. He isn’t telling anyone the hour; and everything else you need to know has already been prophesied and recorded in the Bible. He’s not going to bestow upon some evangelical leader a vision of His return. He already gave that vision to John on the isle of Patmos and told him to write it down. It’s called the book of Revelations.

There is nothing “new” that needs to be said. God already said it all. It’s ALL in His Word just waiting for you to discover it. Does that mean He doesn’t speak to anyone anymore? No. What it means is that He speaks to individuals, personally, as they journey into His Word to get to know Him better. He uncovers the truth that’s already been written and as you seek, He reveals more of His wisdom to you.

"The flesh gets in the way." Oh, please! If you believed for even an instant that the Almighty God spoke to you, would you alter even one word of it? Would you change even a punctuation mark? Are you that arrogant that you believe you have the authority to re-write the word of the Lord?

Repulsive excuses. Repulsive false prophets. Repulsive elitism.

As far as me being a "bad example"...I'm a nobody...what I believe or don't believe doesn't affect the masses. I don't have the power to cause destruction, but what your group leaders are doing causes more destruction and deception than any other force on the planet. They are servants of the serpent in disguise, luring the youth with poisonous fruit.

Look at the red flags around you…they are literally waving all over your campus… and open your eyes. ~