Felson Mitchell for President, 2012

Another One

2017-02-10T06:22:00.003-08:00

In case you haven't noticed, I died and was reborn. This is the second coming. You all didn't know I was capable of coming multiple times. This is unusual, I know, but it is not your place or mine to judge. It is your place to speak to the Judge.

Everyone else? They can eat some fudge.

New Years Resolution.

2013-01-01T14:34:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon, fellow Earthling. We are seated here at the very beginning. 2013 is going to be groovy, I will tell you this. But it will not be all fun and games. For there is a challenge. Its called growing up. Evolution. Moving forward, not backwards. It is time for some New Years Resolutions. This is something to take very seriously, because this is your life. You only get one, so far as I know, therefore, why not make the very best of it?

1. No Drinking alcohol for all of January.
2. Write and publish another book.
3. No more cheese danishes, and no more danish whores.
4. Learn someones name every day.
5. Blog like there is no tomorrow. Churn out more garbage for the fiends.
6. Go to work every single day, no excuses. Gotta get paid man. Gotta.
7. Try to move up at work. See if there is a place to better use my talents, which I will not be taking to South Beach.
8. Go to an Indians game with my father.
9. Start running again.
10. Go to an Ohio State football game.
11. Tell someone that they are special, and not like retarded special. Precious would be a better word.
12. Do not take anything for granted.
13. Move into my house and keep it clean at all times.
14 Get back to work on that Master's Degree.
15. Make schematics for the Birdhouse.
16. Learn a new language.
17. Recycle like never before.
18.Compost like you never seen...
19. Get the chicken coop set up.
20 Grow the raddest garden in all of the greater Greenfield Metro Area.
21. Make better stacks at work.
22. Revise the schematics to the pyramid.
23. Go to a Cleveland Cavaliers game with my pops.
24. Be courteous to individuals who need a punch in the kidney.
25. Read my mother's blog more often.
26. Eat an apple a day to keep the doctor away.
27. Paint a picture.
28. Lay them straight. Nine ten, a big fat hen....ok, I don't know what that means either but lets go with it.
29. Be a positive role model.
30. City counsel.

Happy New Years to all, and to all a good night.

Where to begin

2012-12-05T20:44:00.000-08:00

I would like to shout out to God. If it wasn't for the eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, effervescent, pepsodent, resident president of the heavens, we wouldn't be here and you would swimming in a sea of literally nothingness....

So unique are we...each like snowflakes....

and so integral to the fabric of the cosmos....

http://felson2012.blogspot.com/

and we can give thanks to the almighty one. we are but vessels. we are but ape descendents mixed with alien dna. we are spirits living in a material world. and we have fixed free will.

love your mother, love your brother, love your sister father dog cat neighbor......one love is all there is.....

and you don't know why things are the way they are.....just let go of this world....let go of all of your attachments.....just let go....

New Blog Black Friday Extravaganza

2012-11-23T11:20:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to thank everyone who helped me put Obama in office. If it weren't for simple minded robots like you we wouldn't have this oppressive two party system we enjoy today. And I want you to know that I am still accepting funds for the campaign in Heaven. Which is where I will be running my next Hell-ection, provided the end is coming this year, which....you just never know. Most likely I will be here on Earth December 22, 2012. I believe in Jesus and love God, so I know I will go to Heaven someday. At least that is what all the elders who lie told me. So forgive me if I don't have all the answers, it is just difficult to know who or what to trust this day and age.

I do love you all, followers, and I will be continuing my plans as usual. The pyrimids must be built. There are endless supplies of materials that would benefit mankind in outer space, and the Felsitchelids (or Felson Mitchell Pyramids) are the best direction to go as we venture into the 22nd century and beyond.

Super light and super strong materials are being developed right now in laboratories around the world. Making them cheaply is the next step...Aggregated Diamond Nanorods are currently the strongest candidate for material, it is the strongest substance known to man. We can manufacture buckminsterfullerene, and we can manufacture actual diamonds. Lets start thinking about how to use this practically as a framework, literally, a structure that supports wind generators and solar collectors...

Once we can harness the infinite energy (E*) that is at our disposal, we need to begin harnessing the inifinite material wealth that exists in outer space. The metals and ice cubes that are chilling out in the asteroid belt will be useful to our species for generations, perhaps the next millenia will see us erasing the asteroid belt by taking these objects and transforming them into superstructures.

I will be on here every now and then. I am writing books, and making schematics, so I am busy in my head a lot. Things will get done in due time. God works through us, and guides us to the evolutionary G-spot.

Deus-es. Felson Mitchell.

AsburyEagles.com | Mootispaw Takes KIAC Honor

2012-11-01T16:15:00.001-07:00

AsburyEagles.com | Mootispaw Takes KIAC Honor

Voting for....Obama?

2012-10-31T15:44:00.002-07:00

Of course. I am voting for Obama. One simple reason, even a vote for me isn't going to help one bit. Lets be honest, the world would rather have me here making blogs and shit than in the oval office getting blown by interns.

So rather than waste a vote on me, why not caste a vote to keep Kitten Mittens out of office?

Election PUSH.

2012-10-24T12:53:00.001-07:00

Greetings, my fellow American citizens.

I am well aware that it has been "a minute" since I have posted an update on here. That is because I knew you didn't need bugged with 10 months of political jargon advertisements from me like you were subjected to by my rival candidates, Kitten Mittens and Brock Obama. During the "down" time, we have been formulating OUR plan to return America to a global stature of dominance, a status which has recently been nullified.

We will employ every reasonable petroleum and natural gas liberation, thereby creating more energy production jobs, which will feed the ultimate goal of developing massive amounts of solar collectors, hydroelectric generators, wind generators, and green and environmentally safe agriculture methods. We will increase our agricultural production, while moving to a hydrogen electric based motorization of America.

We will take a global position of dominance with our military, and not drop funding one cent to the DoD. We will however immediately bring all of the troops home, with a dramatically decreased military presence in hostile regions. We will fortify our own western hemisphere dominance, and turn most military focus to developing a sophisticated "space" army, with a goal of making a push towards colonization of Mars, and mining asteroids and comets.

These are just a few of my plans. I will keep you posted on further developments, and reveal more of my comprehensive plan to generate 10 million jobs in less than 8 years, enough time to erase our debt with China, and resume an upward path of economic growth and stability.

Thank you and good evening.

Gettin' Some Brain

2012-03-01T18:23:00.002-08:00

Ohio is my home state. So naturally I have a legitimate chance of winning the primary here. And you know what they say, as Ohio goes, so goes the NATION. Well, in the spirit of the times, I have elected to extend a personal invitation to Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingerich. I will not debate Ron Paul because I have no chance in beating him, unless the topic comes to race relations, at which point I would roundly obliterate him.

So far, I have not heard back from any of these candidates. Could it be that they are afraid? That I might make a better President? Because I would. And I stand the best chance of beating Obama.
Why not make the decision to secure our future by voting for me?

I am the only candidate that isn't in this thing for personal gain. I don't value material things, and have shunned those who throw money around from the start. I am also the only candidate that can see into the future. That is, I am looking at tomorrow, and realizing that this country is ours to give to the generations to come. And I don't want them living in a shitty place like this, and I do not want them to ask us why we gave them such a piece of shit to have to fix themselves.

I will implement policies that will be future centric. I am not thinking about you, in a sense. I am thinking about your children. And not like Jerry Sandusky.

Join me on election day, and make your voice heard, and your vote count!

FM

Good Evening Michigan.

2012-02-28T18:43:00.000-08:00

If you haven't already gone out and voted for Felson Mitchell at your local primary, then do so immediately.

I think we have Romney and Santorum shaking in their boots. This is not becoming of a President, a man who gets scared. One must fearlessly grab control of the reigns, everyone who is in opposition be damned.

And then when need to revert back to a simpler time. Where quality is better than quantity. I envision an America who comes together and says let the rest of the world blow themselves up, if they mess with us, then we give them a little taste of sweet nuclear US mother loving Aannihilation.

While the rest of the world is fucking beating the shit out of each other, we unite as we did in the twenties and in the fourties when the first two world wars took place, but this time, we sit at home, and build huge motherfucking transparent pyramids, hemmed together with long beams of aggregated diamond nanorods. It would be a long and expensive project, but we can print money out of thin air, so this should not provide enough resistance to keep us from manifest destiny. Like I said, we're the motherfucking USA, we do what we want.

So if you believe it is time for some SERIOUS change, please vote for me. Or send me cash so I can start persuading the behind the scenes players to make better decisions. I take all forms of payment, even grilled turkey and cheese sammitches.

God Bless you.

Wake up, America!

2012-02-08T16:56:00.000-08:00

Its 2012, can you believe it? I can't believe it, it seems like we are still in the Dark Ages.

We don't want to let gay people get married? We don't want there to be birth control? We don't care about the homeless, the poor, the downtrodden?

We are not being represented by our politicians. Demand more! This is not a job that should be given to someone seeking personal gain. This is a job for someone who cares about where our planet is heading.

Let's take a look at the larger picture. The planet is warming. There is drought, famine, war, poverty....lots of bad things, piling on top of one another. There is no need for this. I mean, where is our humanity? We have lost it somewhere along the way. We are disassociated from the reality of our existence. These are the REAL ISSUES. Not if two homosexuals can get married. Shit, let them get married, lets move on....

We need more jobs. Lets create jobs to pay people to clean the world up. Taxes should be simple, and government should be small. Those who have should foot most of the bill. Those without need to demand jobs so they can stop living of the governments teat. We are not a country of haves and soon to be haves. We are a country of haves and never will haves...

Demand more from your politicians. Vote FELSON MITCHELL.

Getting ready for the Hell-ection.

2012-02-04T19:51:00.000-08:00

Yes it is going to be one difficult test to become President of the United States. Espectially when you can't provide adequate birth records, like Obama. I am not saying that he is a Muslim. I am not retarded. But I am saying that I don't have a birth certificate. I was born in an ashram and I never got around to getting one.

Now, my background is impeccable. Yes I did run with the Bloods, Piru, gangstas, outlaws. You can check out my resume. Just click here:
http://www.felsonmitchell2012.blogspot.com/2010/09/shout-out-to-molly-m-those-muffins.html

You could say I have done a little of everything. Which is why I am such a successful self help guru. It is also why I would make such a great president. Because not unlike all of the other candidates, I have been afforded every luxury and educational opportunity because of my family's incredible wealth.

Knowing that I would not have any idea what the common person was like, I chose to run cough syrup to Compton to get down with the streets.

And, knowing that my almost uncanny ability to understand complex issues and razor sharp memory coupled with a preternatural ability to reason while under the toughest scrutiny imagineable would make me someday the ideal candidate, I had to keep moving from job to job to job.

When the times get tough, Felson Mitchell gets the baseball bat out and starts taking heads off.

Get out there and vote for me, Nevada!

(again, this is brought to you by uncordinated superpacs)

Here is the goal. Save the Country

2012-01-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

Where is America? You might say the USA is right there where it always is. You can't possibly think I literally did not know where America was on a map. I was wondering where we are in the world today? Are we as cool as we thought we were back in the 00's? Or are we regressing to a level of retardation not seen since the Reagan administration.

America just doesn't shine brighter than the other countries anymore. We lost our swag. That is why I am here. I am here to bring back the swag to Capitol Hill. I am about to be the ref in the referendum business. I am going to turn bills into laws. We are going to right this ship. We are going to right this ship or I will die in the process, carcass rotting in the caucus.

We want to embrace our roll as not the "man" anymore. That means we don't need to police the whole fucking planet. I know that war and destruction over there means jobs and security here, but isn't that kind of a dick move on our part? Let's stop being the dicks of the free world.

Vote for me on election day. Make your voices heard. Post my name all over your Twitter. Post my name on your twitter until it comes up on your Facebook.

In support of Internet Freedom

2012-01-19T05:26:00.000-08:00

By now most of you know my intentions to run for President.

None of this would have been possible without the freedom we enjoy on the Internet.

And I am sure most of you have heard about SOPA and PIPI. These are further indicators that the government is getting too big and that censorship is a real threat that needs to be addressed. For what if Jesus was not able to stand on his soap box and preach? What if Martin Luther King was unable to talk about things as taboo for the time as equality between races?

I am not saying that I am in any way as important as these two influencial persons of our history. I am saying though that freedom of expression is one of our inalienable rights as human beings.

The goverment seeks to control us, to keep us docile and manageable through censorship and through control of the media in general. Do no let the man keep us down.

As President, I will speak for the poor, the sick, the outcast of society. I will stand up for our rights, such as life, liberty (freedom of speech), and the pursuit of happiness.

Please sign your petitions on FB. Make your voice heard. And on election day, make your collective voice ring from sea to shining sea. Let FREEDOM RING! Vote for Felson Mitchell.

The common man's President.

(This message is provided by an uncoordinated superpac)

In response to the EIB network

2012-01-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

Rush Limbaugh has got me absolutely beside myself upset.

He says that liberals are trying to cheat by counting Micky Mouse votes. What about Felson Mitchell votes? Secondly, liberals aren't any more cheaters than republicans. Do you remember the "hanging Chad" debacle? How about all of the out of state votes in Ohio that never got counted.

The fact of the matter is RUSH, that the game is RIGGED. And you know it is, and you are a liar if you say that it isn't.

Furthermore, you also said that there is no market for green energy. Please explain to me why unsustainable and risky petroleum and natural gas mining is so en vogue? Yes our President isn't getting the green jobs out there he promised, because the Money and The POWER comes from the greedy cheaters behind the scenes.

When this planet is devoid of fossil fuel, what then? How are we going to get anything going if we don't have an energy source? What about the future of our planet? Why is everyone so selfish? Living in the now people does not mean live at the expense of our environment.

It is time to put someone into office that has the 99 percent in mind. I promise you this, all of the candidates, other than me, are part of the one percent. I am the 99 percent.

Please help me make some noise. We've got a ticket to ride! We've got a ticket to riiiiiii-de.

Yes. We CAN!

2012-01-16T18:07:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqw4DRYfiN4

Presidential Address

2012-01-16T14:05:00.000-08:00

Thank you, all of you who wish for me to be the next President of the United States. It is a good time to be an American. Do you remember the Great Depression? That was a very real event in our history. What happened after the Great Depression? America finds a way to fuel another war. Its good for the economy.

We all know that a President must have a good war to bring to the people if he wants elected, so that is why I come to you tonight.

I am going to go ahead and say it. I am the President that will go to war against poverty.

It is generally accepted in my camp that what is good for the whole is good for the individual.

The occupiers on Wall Street need to come to this site. What is needed is a good house cleaning.

And it starts with the end of the Federal Reserve. America will have a new form of currency, the Liberto. It will have my face on it of course.

Until we meet again, think about how we can make a change. Together. Thank you.

Felson Mitchell

One day, one Hundred visits.

2012-01-15T14:27:00.000-08:00

This is by far the best day I have ever had, numbers wise, in this blogosphere.

Thank you for being part of the movement.

By bringing the Executive Branch to Ohio, we decentralize our government in more ways than one.

The site is going to be focusing on the Brand New Deal, which is my plan to get our economy back on track.

Basically, we adhere to everything that Libertarians do, but take a green liberal neo con approach to Keynesian Economics.

Send those checks. God Bless you. FM

Great Plans to Stimulate the Economy

2012-01-15T09:53:00.000-08:00

My first action as President will be to bring every single last soldier and sailor back from overseas.
They will be given new orders and training and will be part of my Brand New Deal, which will be a comprehensive series of programs to reinvigorate the economy and bring real jobs back to the States.

The Brand New Deal will be, first and foremost, a four year program building pyramids all over the countryside. The pyramids will be meteor resistant, and will be fitted with green technologies which will provide free energy to the entire country, as well as enough to be sold to the Chinese and other developing nations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGGez0CObXs

We will move the Executive operations to Greenfield, Ohio. A new mansion shall be built, The Birdhouse, and it will be on the top of the tallest hill adjacent to Lyndon, Ohio. Schematics pending.

Washington will run as usual the Judicial and Legislative operations. The White House will turn into a historical monument/theme park/recording studio.

Please feel free to send any donation, edible or monetary, to Justicrat Party Headquarters, 2147 Westfall Road, Frankfort Ohio, 45628.

Thank you and please frequent the site and click on the ads as often as your free time permits. This will help our cause, believe it or not. God Bless, Felson Mitchell (The God Candidate)

Announcement

2012-01-15T09:07:00.000-08:00

Good afternoon. I would like to take this opportunity to announce my presidential intentions for 2012.

A few problems, one, I am only 30, so we will have to bend the Constitutional age limit imposed on the presidency for just this once. And possibly twice, should I be re elected.

Two, I will be running as a Justicrat, which is a relatively new and unknown to many political party.

As President, I can guarantee that I will not be bought by big corporations, I will not have any hidden agendas, and I will be outlining exactly what you can expect from me as President on this blog site in the months leading up to the election.

Thank you, and God bless.