Life & Love -- Alot to Learn from!!

Beauty unappreciated

2020-11-20T02:18:00.003+05:30

What is the search when you have everything around you?
Why is that you constantly look for something that you know you can never have it?
Why? Why does one feel so lonely and unworthy that you don't feel to should care enough for urself ?
Am I depressed?
Do I need help?
Why do I search for peace in someone I know I will never find

Love, this word has ruined everything I belived
Everything I thought life would deserve. Coz everytime I trusted and let myself being out open has just caused pain and nothing else. To an extent I can't say I am lonely out loud, why? Thanks to the society and the so called relationship I have .. sometimes it's just not love but being respected as an individual.. As a person or soul I always wished to be loved and respected to be an individual. Is this wrong?

Love doesn't always confide to just to be in a relationship but it much more than that.. we indian women are always taught to be one man doesn't matter if that man really respects you as a person or not .. but stay there.. be patient.. for him to understand.

The moment I talk out loud people tell me I am playing by victim card.. I laugh .. am I? Did I really sound like a victim?? If i did also, did they realise why did I? A woman wants to be loved, touched, loved and I want the same .. am I wrong? Is my outer appearance so dreadful that one can't love or accept me to who I am? So many questions in my mind..

Yes, I love intimacy. Is it wrong? I want my partner to be intimate with me.. am i wrong to feel this?? I am ugly or call it fat.. does that stop one from being intimate? Doesn't fat people deserve intimacy? So many things in my head which pushes me to a corner and make me feel unworthy.. i tear with a sadness in my heart so buried down that I cover it with a smile.. a smile huh..

I write coz I can't talk.. I can't say a word.. this is killing me within.. I am sure most of us feel the same.. more power to you ..

Let me know how you feel ..

Nita

Dad.. life in itself

2018-05-10T18:14:00.001+05:30

It's been a year now that you left us to another beautiful world. U happy there? Are they taking care of you?
I miss you.. so much that I am so lost without u .. I so wish I really could turn back time and tell u everything I was going thru .. every single detail.

There is no such relationship like ours
Noone can take that place in our hearts.
For the smile we shared and laughter we had,
For all those fights to all that we cared.

Dad, I miss you immensely
I know you would have held me
Showed me the path.
Cared so much that everything else didn't matter.

I wish I would've shared
Opened my heart out.
Told you things that discomfort me
Coz I know
You would've held me tight
Told me everything would be alright.

Heart looks for such comfort now
But knowing no one can take your place.
I could never trust anyone,
After all, world isnt the way you showed it to me.

Dad, I ain't happy, not even a bit.
I am strong coz I am Ur strong gal.
But the heart doesn't find peace
I wish I could hug u tight and find answers there.
I just wish you could come back...
Yes the selfish me!
Why shouldn't I be ??
You're the only one where I could find peace.

Dad I miss you and will always..
Coz there is no one like you.

In Search

2017-06-01T16:48:00.003+05:30

Here is something I have been going thru.. In Search ...

Search, this word is in itself continuous and not being constant. We search, I am sure we all do throughout our lifetime. Some search for Happiness, way to progress in life etc, but we all do end of the day. Has it ever happened that what were at a point where you got what you were searching for and when it was in front of you and you felt that it wasnt worth it at all. All this time that you were looking for, in search of which is right in front of you and there again you start the search again...

I am in search, Search of what is what i am wondering, is it happiness? But I am happy, then? Is it just a reason I am trying to find to be sad, upset with life? No, not really .. I want to be happy, Happy from my soul to my eyes..

In the mean time while all this running in my mind i just happened to talk to a friend.

He: What is it ?
Me: Dont know, what is it that i am in search for?

He: Hmmm, what is it running in your mind?
Me: Looked at him, gave a look and said - Kabhi ... Kabhi aisa hua hai ki?
(Sometime .. has it happened with you?
Me: That you're lost within yourself while you looking for an answer?
He: Hmmm
Me: And, Has it happened that you're have happiness on your face but Sadness in your eyes?
Me: You in between your fav and loved ones but still some how you feel lonely inside?
He: Dear..
Me: What ? you think I am mad?

He: No.. No.. you're basically looking for LOVE and Someone to understand you.
Me: May be? but i have a family who love me the most then why?
He: Do you have a soul mate?
Me: (Silence)
He: Hmmm okay ..

This conversation made me think is that what i am looking for? May be no... but i am .. so Search is continuous and does not come to a point till a point you're spiritually feel the moksha ...

have you come across this kinda conversation? Are you also in search of something which you yourself aren't aware?

Love,
Nitz

Goodbye!

2016-04-26T14:04:00.001+05:30

GOODBYE

Such an easy word
Then why difficult to say
It pricks your heart
And hurts your soul

Puts you in darkness
And hides you from light ..
For all that you try
You still don't get to see why
"Goodbye" such a easy word
When you don't mean anything at all..

In search of that star and that night

2016-04-22T16:33:00.001+05:30

In search of the shining star while lying besides you,
holding your hands and gazing at the dark sky.
The conversations we have, the moment we share.
Spending time doing nothing at all
Yes, I am search of that star and that night.

Our words do the magic, Our eyes do the talking..
Lying besides you and the moment stops by..
Trembling lips and warm palms while holding my face
Oh Yes! I am still in search of that star and that night.

Holding to what we have,
Something so special and that is treasured.
And I secretly wish that the night never ends..
He looks into my eyes and says - There are may more nights to come, Jaan
And the search ends of that star and that night.
In the hope of many more starry nights to pass by..

Tears..

2016-04-19T15:18:00.002+05:30

Tears...

It runs down so easily without seeking for a consent.
It breaks you part and also sometimes hold u together.
You play an important part of any cluttered soul..
You my friend, are a eternal part of me.

Connections or Attachments?

2016-03-21T17:46:00.000+05:30

Life, a journey where we walk alone and join hands when we find someone who wants to hold you and walk with you.

What's a connection? Can you define it? According to me,
You and I won’t be connected if only one of us is willing to disclose our real thoughts and emotions. You and I won’t experience connectivity if we are only willing to be “real” on rare occasions. It requires intimacy, vulnerability and radical transparency, which scares most people half to death coz it requires the person to tell the truth.

If you agree to what i think connection is then tell me how different is attachments? Isn't it the same but may be just with a stronger base. We humans constantly look for someone with whom we can connect and later it grows to an attachment. Then why do we run away from it? Hide it? Being just one life we run away from smaller things that can give us immense pleasure and happiness which doesn't cost a thing but just honesty.

Tomorrow if you feel the connection,
Hold their hand
Sit next to them
and talk ...
Coz you never know till when will the moment last.
Never let go off it as remember you're here only for a short visit.

Cheers!!

Unfinished Stories

2015-06-02T19:50:00.003+05:30

Some stories and talks are better left untold and unfinished for they have already made their mark on our lives. Few with some good memories that someday you would just sit with a cup of coffee and think about it and smile and some that will bring you tears but some leave you with a hope that someday ..

People may come and go in our lives but ones who leave, we always hope that they return one day realizing what we did and were for them. Don't we ? Why ? Lets just leave them behind and move on coz if they knew the worth they wouldn't have left at the first place. So i guess leaving some Unfinished Stories are only going to make our life's better.

Whats your thoughts on this?

Love,
Nitz

Shattered Soul

2015-04-26T12:51:00.001+05:30

I stood so close to your car And yet we were so far ...
I teared again, not for you
but for the moments that flashed
the holding of hands
the contact of eyes
the love we cherished everytime

I gave you my all
and hoped for you to stay
but there was nothing much i could do
watching you walk away

it broke me in bits and pieces
and shattered my soul
for once i felt it was LOVE
and it turned out to be sour

#LastNight #heartache

A thought to myself in Ur absence ..

2015-04-04T12:15:00.001+05:30

I sat in the same place and thought was it all for real .

Did you really exist in my life ?

For then words echoed in my ears

And said " Yes, I was and I am still here"

I smiled !

A thought to myself in Ur absence ..

It's not what I think it is

I am still living a dead life

With you wrapping me up in Ur arms

I can close my eyes n still walk a mile..

I don't need you to tell me that you love me..

Don't need to show me that you care

If it's all for a short while

I would rather live a dead life all the while..

No words make you stay

No tears can hold you today

When you have made up Ur mind

How does it matter

Whether I am here or walked away..

How does it matter whether I am happy or sad

How does it matter if I am dead or alive ..

When you have already walked away

I am still here waiting for you night n day ..

My Shining Star Walking Towards Me

2015-03-03T12:30:00.001+05:30

The very step the very first heartbeat

Just as close to you I get

I enter a world of our own

Where stars fall and cupids leads the way

There I see my shining star walking towards me

I skip a beat and breath heavy

What is that I would say with random thoughts running in my head

And I am lost when I look into his eyes

Trying to find myself as I have drowned in the deep sea of love

His touch and I melt in his arms

Loosing every bit of me in him

Like fire running down in every nerve hitting every edge of me

His lips when touched my skin

Felt a burst of emotions n hold him tight close to me

The slow and heavy breathing between us

Holds us down and there sparks a fire

He looks into my eyes, holds my hand close to his chest

And slowly says those 3 magical words

Why do I feel like hearing it again n again?

Trembling lips reaches where it belongs

Making it one soul and 2 bodies

He moves my hair and with tip of his tongue

He moves around and that were my mind shuts down

All I can feel is a urge of holding him

And become 1 body n soul

Something About 30's

2015-01-21T14:18:00.001+05:30

Did it actually sound something like 50 Shades of Grey ... Ha Ha

I laugh to myself and say .. It actually did.. So what is it something about 30's ? Hmm let me think

Is it the number or the state where you're just stepping into your adulthood.. Being independent, fearless and finding yourself suddenly grown-up. All of a sudden things change, feelings are replaced and sometimes LOST.

For me, I am the girl oops should I say Woman who is independent, loves life, adventures, lives the moment. What can probably hit me in my thirties? Surprisingly I have no answer to that. But something did and it was so fast that it almost left me with too many questions running in my mind. Have I lived the way I always wanted? Is the love I get is enough and so on..

Every woman goes thru this phase and why only woman I am sure men also do. Its just not the number but its also the added responsibility that comes along with it. Every little thing that you do is being watched and also scrutinized. For e.g If I come home late the first thing I get to hear is ..What is the time? is this the time to come home? You're not in Ur teens to behave like this..blah blah !! Yeah you got me there .. these words are usually blah blah for me.

Yes I am in my thirties but does that stop me from living or being what I am? Its not about adulthood its about life, we all live once then why do we intact ourself with all these rules and terms & conditions. I fail to understand that and I guess I am happy to fail to do so. I am also guessing that by now you think I am a person who is never satisfied with what I have then you're BANG ON ! Yes I am not, I need so much more and in every way.

Do you feel the same? Is there is end to what you like and love ?
Share me your thoughts

Love,
Nitz

Why so ...

2014-12-09T22:16:00.000+05:30

Love.. Why so complicated are you?
So many questions and no answers yet..

Feeling's.. Why so jumbled are you?
Bag full of mixed emotions and none to feel yet ..

Loneliness.. Why so heartbreaking are you?
Between the crowd and left out yet..

Was it meant to be?

2014-12-09T20:37:00.000+05:30

Often we ask our self - " Was that meant to happen? or Was it meant to be ? "

Not lying to myself .. how many of us say that to ourself everyday? I am sure we all do coz somewhere i do it ..

Just a question.. Do you cry alone?

In a corner of your house, in your car while driving, sitting on the stairs, during the dark nights.. Do you cry ?

Why is that we humans feel so many emotions that we can't handle? Mix everything like a khichidi and then think over it.. Was it necessary?

I feel you..

Feel you so close like a breeze
Knowing it will pass away
and i will remain here standing freezed
still feel you so close like a breeze

What is that we have between us?
Love that was meant to be
or is it just a random phase

You hold me in you so tight
I struggle to get away
I struggle to breathe
And then i think why you holding me anyway

Did you mean everything you said ?
Is what runs in mind while you talk
As I Feel you so close like a breeze
Knowing it will pass away
and i will remain here standing freezed
still feel you so close like a breeze...

So I let myself loose in you
Move like a breeze with you
As that is what is meant to be
Not thinking if it was how it had to be

Feel me like a breeze
And we would move away together..

Love,
Nitz

Being Missed !!

2014-08-07T13:16:00.002+05:30

And so moments brings me back to where i belong !

Strange, Life isn't the same any more for me but a part of me is always stuck to this, once in a while asking me to get up and go head and write to you. Did I miss you guys ? the answer is YES not out of compulsion but out of a feeling that there are people who would love to read and also tell me things of what they feel.

Unsaid Questions!

2013-12-10T05:15:00.001+05:30

Finally Am I here before the year ends.. I know haven't been around for a while. Yeah Yeah I know my fault and can give no reasons for that .

Life has changed but it didnt take a effort to change me. For sometimes i still walk down the same lane thinking if we could meet accidentally some point, some where in that corner of life. And my heart pops up with a thought -" Do you ever wish the same ? " The answer is not unknown to me but still i am standing here gazing at the stars n hoping you would say YES .

We expect so much and it never ends. I tell myself more than a thousand times that- " I am and should be Happy " I have a beautiful life but some were i cant lie to myself that there is an emptiness inside me. This Emptiness kills me every moment i think of you walking away from me. I cant question you WHY and cant be without asking as well.

You were a friends to me.. Someone who knew everything about me, I am more heart broken when i think even knowing me you would still decide to walk away.

The only thing changed in me in all these years is that even knowing the truth my heartbeat skips a skip when i hear you name and dont let anyone know. Not sure if there would be a day when you will realize the pain i am going thru inside. The waves of emotions that takes place within my heart breaking me down into pieces every time.

Will you ?

Finally got back !!

2013-07-07T03:57:00.000+05:30

"Love has no name or any identity
its a mere feeling that brings out the best of you"

Sometime it makes me wonder why am i so cold,
Have the warmth in my heart but still so numb

I know it has been a long time since i took an effort to sit and pen down something running in my mind. I dont even remember the last post what was it about.. Funny !

After a long break from work spent a night with friends and yes i did have fun continuing that watched LOOTERA the early morning show. May be watching the Movie inspired me to write again, Nah its nothing to do with Pakhi Writing her stories but the overall the story left me with loads of thoughts within me.

Love ... Again i am stuck understanding what it is all about. There was a time when it used to be a big deal if you get a love letter written to you and those eye contacts when you cross each other. One touch of that special person leaves you behind with lots of sleepless nights and restless days finding ways to meet. Today's generation where its completely opposite.. No not that i am complaining about it but i feel that they are missing something in all this. Its always a special feeling of being loved or in love.

Right after the movie while surfing found a post asking the same questions that was running in my mind. My World – My Perception. So releaved that i am not the only one with such thoughts or questions in this world. Love, Pain, Desire, Lust, Obsession - What is it that we all are running behind or running away from? For all i see is that it is not the generation were you would hide yourself with a broken heart but move on in life and find someone worth loving, sharing life with. Where has the importance of the love letters hidden? The stupid excuses to meet and get to see a glance of him faded away?

I felt the love between Pakhi & Varun or between Amrita & Zulfi is such a beautiful if you can feel the love they might have had the pain that they would have shared. Why do we always give up and give it a name of destiny and live in pain the whole life. People say that you will always remember the moments spent when your in love till your last breath. I agree with them, You might have given up on it as destiny but somewhere in your heart you would always look for that person and when you find them you have a want to relive those moments. Strange but love is strange isn't it, strange in the sense how much ever you try you will still want to go back. I dont know if its right to expect to be loved back but do you really think you should? I dont think so, I read in one of the Osho's books that - Just keep loving and dont expect to get back the same love then its not love at all. Everyone has a different point of view on this.

We can sit and argue on this complete life and still one will win it. Love is just Love, Its a Emotion that you can express and cant HOLD on to it. I know someone who is just in love and has never expected back anything in return .. no questions at all. But tell me something does that kinda love exist any more in today's world? Where you would wait for someone take all the pains and still wait for their return. Live life the fullest being in love .. find happiness in every small gesture? Smile and goosebumps when you suddenly see a message on your cellphones saying - Love You ? Close your eyes and you can still feel the touch, breathe of them. One side love to bahut dur ki baat hai ... kya dono hi pyar ko nibha patey hain?

Love,
Nitz

Relative - Strength or Shame

2012-05-15T11:56:00.001+05:30

Family - How important is this word in our life? How many of us realize the duties towards this simple word?

Simple yet a very strong bond lies in this word for us. Even without us realizing it, we are bond within the beautiful relations called FAMILY.

There was a time when family's strength lied on the people who tied it with their love, care, restrictions n may be some were religious beliefs. As even though people didn't like them all they did obey and it resulted in togetherness and care for one another.

What is the importance of it today? We say that we are independent and hence don't need any restrictions or beliefs or ancestral thoughts to bind us. Which resulted in Hatred, Jealousy, Ego etc within us. Strange but true , I am not talking about this without any experience but it had gone thru it and saw the changes myself. A time when our Grandfather was alive and his rules n restrictions were alive, the word Family was much more different from what it is now.

Relatives - aren't they suppose to be your strength? How many of us have gone thru a rough phase in life because of them?? I am sure many of us would have raised their hands up now. Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Paternal & Maternal side relations etc. have treated you the same as their daughter or sons? if you ask me its NONE !!

How cruel the world is when it comes to money? Is money so important to us that we forget our own blood relations? We feel the happiness when we see them down and failed in life? Where does all that EGO comes from , is that Money Magic??

Yes, Definitely Money is important; it made me believe as I see that every day in my life. How a blood related sister feels happy to see her brothers draining in life and she wouldn't think of helping them or standing with them but instead goes to their house and shows off her fake Sympathy and put them down. Our own siblings will not think twice before asking their share when the time of crisis, Sometimes they become the reason behind it. The one who respects love & relationships is always stood as Dumb and lost everything but would still have a SMILE and feel happy that the opposite is none other than my Sister /Brother. How foolish isn't it? Sometimes in life we have to be selfish when we know the intentions of the other person is to hurt us. This Circle of love, Relationship, Bond etc. arent meant for today's genre.

A beautiful and Innocent heart doesn't matter but a beautiful skin and fair color matters to Ur relatives as they don't want to be teased and felt ashamed off while introducing you to their circle of friends or world. These small things are never noted down normally. But sometimes when see a hurted heart or some who longs of such relation you will know the reason behind it. Why go far, I am myself an example. always wanted a Elder brother to hold my hands and love me unconditionally like my father does but instead i always was ignored and left out cause i am not good looking or rather not fit to be in their company. Hurt every much within but still went on thinking i would have someone like that in my life once for sure. Finally after so many years of longing i did find one such person & my family pic looked complete. But not for long.. after 4 beautiful years of that relationship it also had to come to end being bullied by someone else ego & immaturity and thus again the heart was hurt.

Crazy world and Crazy attitude of people here to take,

For what I know LOVE is eternal,

World Filled with Good & Bad experiences to give,

Hoping one day he would be here on the other side to take.

So tell me what do you think or have experienced on over this " Relative " or " Family " ?

Love

Nitz

A Sorry Note !!

2012-04-24T11:44:00.002+05:30

Surprisingly early morning while sitting in the office and busy trying to complete my work as soon as possible as always. Something crossed my mind and I picked up my Cellphone typing a Sorry Note to a dear friend of mine. No reason but i felt a bit uncomfortable and decided to SEND the message, Just hoping that he would understand my situation and be as good friends as we were...

We are so busy making money and trying to get things right in our life that we always ignore the best of things and never get a chance to regret as well. " Friends " how important they are in our life's?? Do we make sure that we don't take for granted knowing that they will always come back to us??

Ask me what it feels like when you dont have any around you to talk or share those tiny winy talks.

Sometimes i feel left out and alone thats when i realize how important is to cherish all the small moments in life. Time doesn't turn and nor those moments.

A small " SORRY " note and few SMS exchange blew away all the misunderstandings and hoping for a good start of a sweet relationship... I just wish i had or people who did hurt me realize this and try to make up for what happened and try not letting down one another's feelings.

Feeling lite with no burden on my heart and disturbing thoughts.. So people jus try to give importance to each and every relationship you have no matter what .. We all know a very famous saying - The one who stands with you when your no one is your greatest friend and biggest well wisher when your on top of the cloud.

Thanks Friend !!

Love
Nitz

Relationships Never Die Of A Natural Death !!!

2012-04-10T09:56:00.000+05:30

How true is the saying above!! For instance take a minute and think, Have you ever ended any beautiful relationship of trust n respect for such silly reasons? Hurt them for something that doesn't matter at all?

I am sure most of us did, doesn't matter if it ended with all your consent or sometimes without. We all tend to go with the flow of the situation and end up hurting our self or others. "Situations" worse thing to describe it. I always believed relationships needs to be nurtured and cared about it for it to grow a long way ahead, just a smile to show you care, a message saying "I Love you" to show you there forever, Holding on to the stumbling relation and say " Everything will be fine " showing you will face every moment together. These small gestures can do wonders in their life, But do we come forward and do them for our loves ones without thinking if they have done anything in return for us or not. I have seen many of them complaining that their partner doesn't care for them and hence they care a damn.... and in my mind a laugh and think - "How stupid of this person that they compare Love & Care with all these ego and attitude, Is it really worth it?

My life neither has been prefect, it had been tangled with loads of ups & down until i didn't give up my ego or you can say attitude. After few hard lessons that relationship has taught me, I now understand the depth of it. Its easy to make relations, be friends, make close relations like brothers or sisters, being a intimate partner and others. But what makes it DIE?? Is it attitude, Ego the only reasons? Each one of the reasons have their own effect but people dont understand that this will in return end up being a disaster.

I always wondered when you love a person what is it there to be insecured about them? So does that mean you don't trust your own loved ones? You don't trust the love and respect you have for the relationship?

The last time I was with a friend of mine who had a strange situation, this contained jealously and insecurity from their partner's Sister like figure. After listening to the complete conversation I just wanted to go up to her and ask what is it that your so scared off ? You love a person doesn't mean that you have bonded them to be only your, He is married to you coz he loves you, doesn't that give you enough security ?? Why are you so jealous of someone whom he calls as his " Sister " ?? WHY??? I just couldn't digest the fact that someone can be so immature and stupid to spoil a relationship and think that they will be happy forever after ruining it. Sometimes people forget that what goes around comes around too.. The worst when he said my friend that he loves his wife too much to hurt her. I kept thinking to figure out if he loved his wife so much then does he need to accompany her in her false attitude and thoughts? Doesn't he has guts to confront her and make her understand that she is wrong if she thinks by breaking one relation the other will go on happily ???

After so much running in my head i finally asked her to quit this brotherly feeling and get out of it as its not worth. Why do you need to shed tears for the one who thinks ur trash? Who wants to have people around only which his wife agrees to keep them? For god sake this lady was someone he called as sister and not some chick that you pass ur time with, how can someone have issues with that?? I still don't get a valid reason for it.

Relationship are not god made but human made hence it doesn't matter if you are blood related or a stranger is more than a blood related relation for you. All that matters is the care and respect for each other. That when i understood the meaning to - "Relationships Never Die Of A Natural Death !!! But they are Killed by Ego, Attitude and sometimes Insecurity"

Do you think what he did to my friend was right by listening to his wife?? whats your thought on it??

Love,

Nitz

Vacation - Backwaters

2012-02-19T00:31:00.000+05:30

Togetherness

2012-02-19T00:24:00.000+05:30

Sometimes.. its cozy and warm to be away from crowd and celebrate each others company for life..

Yes it was the Valentine's night that we baled a cake together and celebrated of being with each other and still knowing each other more in depth.

Love
Nitz

Monday Blues

2011-12-19T12:04:00.000+05:30

Strangely unlike my other colleagues i go through Monday Blues pretty much in the opposite direction. Yes, I do wait for the time to tick at 2 PM fast, Wait for someone to gossip something new. then what is the difference.. hmm the big difference is colleagues get Monday Blues because off too much workload after a great relaxing weekend and for me no work even after a great weekend of complete rest and outing. Ha ha ha
After all the coffee breaks, recharge room rounds yet i am left with 4 hours to go....
And a thought within me pops up how lucky i am and these words were out aloud in my mind running thru towards my heart...

Some words aren't enough to pen down a emotion,
hours aren't enough to spend a life time,
happiness is what we all search for,
but sometimes searching a reason is also not enough.
For all i know i have been blessed,
sometimes that blessing also isn't enough,

The only Monday blues I have is with the fight between my heart and mind as always..

Hope you have a great day ahead...
Do Enjoy the latest Bollywood track from the upcoming movie " Agneepath "

Love,
Nitz

Charm Of Relationship

2011-10-17T13:39:00.000+05:30

A thought that has been crawling inside me.. living every moment of life we make new relations, start to walk on new pathways.. new goals... new adventures. But have we realized with time the the charm and enthuse that we start with it begins to fade away & relationships here are no exceptions.

Relations can be summarized in various categories starting from genuine to intimate. Usually if its a Intimate relationships, Few cuddles with suprizes, etc can keep it going. but what about the relationship that is genuine for e.g between ur family? I belong a typical Rajasthani family where respect & prayer's is the first thing that is taught to the child. Me being the eldest i always longed for a bro who would be my best friend and person to take care of me. Strange that i feel longed for such a relationship were the world longs for intimate and other relations.

This is what made me think what an emotional fool i am, past few days i have felt a pinch inside me which i need to bring it out or it would eat me from inside, thinking how people change their priorities when they add new relations to their life. Here what it is that is running in me - I met someone while working for an MNC as days passed by... we started taking each other as close as a brother and sister would. Whatever we did or went through we would actually sit and talk on that ... laugh on things, it was like this all i wanted a sweet bro whom i thought would be my best friend and yet take care of me like a big B

Years passed and finally day came where he fell in love and started a new journey in his life. As always i wanted to see him settled and happy with this life.. but now as days passed we no more talk or even now sit and laugh on jokes that we used to crack before. Something i didnt expect it to happen, I am married too but i dont think i have ever done this to something who counted on me or even been close to me. Why do people change so soon and forget that they have other relations also which might be affecting.

Or is it that i am being stupid enough to think that i counted to a person who is just another colleague working at my office? I kept talking about this to my hubby and he said no more emotional relationships you are gonna have. I guess he is right - " NO MORE " Don't deserve to be hurt like this at least. I might even be over reacting but the difference i see now is way too much than i thought it would happen. Actually i think i am HURT of loosing someone so close to me.

Tear rolls down telling me stop thinking about it. Everyone has their own life and we are no special to them . the ugly reality.

Nitz

From Heart

2011-09-27T12:34:00.007+05:30

Sometimes words are enough to say it all
Sometimes space in heart isnt enough to love it more
Although there is no limit or boundaries set
tears are not enough to stop you from leaving

Life goes on pretty much the same
people come and go,leaving a mark behind
Somtimes memories arent enough to fill the empty space
Even Love isnt enough for insecurities to go..

Love,

Nitz