Change stirs hope

I’ll be honest, best beloveds. It’s been a tough time, the last year or so.

Amongst other things, I’ve come to realise that my Adventures in Depression include a not-at-all-small element that seems influenced by weather and light levels. And since we’ve had the wettest summer and autumn (2012) followed by the longest, coldest winter/so-called-spring in oh-I-don’t-know-maybe-forever, that’s been challenging. I’ve been pretty much just keeping my head down and putting one step in front of the other. Not so much to move forward, but simply to stop going backwards.

So this post isn’t about art, because I haven’t been making any. Beloveds, I haven’t even been doodling since before Christmas. I know!

But, if there’s one aphorism I cleave to, it’s this one: This too shall pass.

Because it always does. Things always change. And, although it’s not always better after things change, it is at least different. If you get bored easily, this is a Good Thing™. I often get bored easily.

So this is a post about change. It’s also about optimism.

As a naturally melancholic individual, I often struggle to be optimistic. I can see all the downsides, the potential problems, the impossibilities, the hairy-scary nightmare scenarios that the Goblin Horde are so fond of pointing out. I find it particularly difficult to be optimistic about the big stuff: finances, friendships, freedom, the future.

And yet, if there is one thing that brings out my weedy, underdeveloped optimism, it’s the scent of change in the air. Like woodsmoke drifting on a September breeze, or the first chlorophyll-laden scent of mown grass in April, there is something about knowing things are going to be different – somehow – that perks me up and gives me hope.

So, I suppose that in some weird way, that makes me an eternal optimist; there is always change, and change stirs hope.

Don’t get me wrong – I certainly fear change sometimes. Sometimes it fairly makes me quiver in terror, especially if my goblins are very vocal in their fears. But at the same time, I often feel enormous relief that here, at last, is another chance to make things a little bit better, a little more interesting or satisfying or (forgive the hippy speak) congruent. And that’s inspiring.

At the moment, I feel change in the air.

There  are plenty of loud goblin voices raising objections to any ideas or suggestions or plans or tiny tendrils of enthusiasm.

There is some confusion and disorganisation and scattered wisps of hope floating around in the mental fog.

There is a lot of fear too, particularly financial worry.

But there are also teeny tiny turtle steps of action.

I have started vegetable seeds: beans, peas, courgette, squash, and tomatoes. Salad and herbs to come.

I have started the long-overdue redesign and renovation of our garden.

I have started to clear out and re-plan our little home office room.

I have started a redesign for this website and decided to open up more of my life and interests here, eclectic though it may be. Let all the Fi’s be known!

And I have written this post, the first in nine months.

Go me.

Once upon a time, (quite recently actually) I was abducted by a one-eyed troubadour, who despite his eye-patch, was devastatingly attractive in a romaticised, piratical kind of way. His hair was black and curly, his eye (the one you could see) was large and soulful, his voice was rich and strong, and he played the lute so skillfully he could make you weep at the beauty of it (and him).

We had just joined a camel train of spice traders on the way to Timbuktu and we were attacked by a herd of rampaging unicorns, maddened by the rich colours of the silken caravans invading their monocromatic desert world, when…

Wait. Have I used this one before? You know, to explain the lack of posts for a while?

Damn. Ah well.

Much as I’m enjoying the tale of my troubadour, can we just accept that I’m not the most regular of bloggers, best beloveds, and dispense with the need for apologies and explanations every time I return after a hiatus? Would that be allowed? What say you?

You’d think I’d have learned by now. I’ve been making the same mistake for far too many years.

Here’s the short version: If you have CFS and dysthymia (chronic depression), going all-out, like-the-clappers, full-speed-ahead to get things done despite yourself is a Bad Idea™ and it’s only funny ’til someone loses an eye (just ask the troubadour.) Or, in my case, ’til I crash and burn and have to take far too long for recovery. ‘Nuff said.

So where were we?

Detail of Oak King II for sale in the Shop

My shop still has lots of lovely stuff in it for you to buy, if you’re longing for a piece of original Fi art and prices start from just £30. Feel free to browse around, and let me know if there’s something you’re dying to see that I haven’t made yet.

In order to keep the Two Bad Dogs in biscuits, I’ve been doing some freelance web design and marketing work lately. (I’ll be honest. This felt like the end of the Quest to start with, but then I realised that even questors have to make compromises now and then.) I’m not quite ready to show you what I’ve been up to, but hopefully soon – and it should be of interest to those of you who love patchwork, quilting and fabric arts.

I’ve also started working on a new project – Fi’s Creative Studio. For a while, I’ve been thinking about one of the areas of my Quest that hasn’t seen too much action lately. It’s the aspect I call Blazing a Trail.

Blazing a Trail is where I want to help others in their Quest, the way people have helped me. In particular, I want to share some of my knowledge, experience and technical skills in creative textile arts with people who are ready to move on from following the designs of others into creating their own work.

Fi’s Creative Studio is going to be a place where I can do that. I’m hoping to be able to share information, images, resources and (if I get the technology figured out) video demonstrations, with you and other readers. So watch this space for news on that, beloveds!

I’m also thinking about a redesign of this site. It’s more than three years since I created this one, and I feel the need for some freshening up about the place, and perhaps a few more images of my work up front and centre.

A picture of arty stuff and a sketchbook because I don’t have anything to show from my Arthurian sketchbook yet

And I’m at the very earliest creative stages of developing a new series of major works. (Yes! I must be mad!) Again, I’m not ready to share too much about it, except to say that it will be based on Arthurian legend, tales of which have fascinated me from a very early age.

As part of the development of that, I’m going to be re-reading some of my favourite fictional retellings of Arthurian legend, including Mary Stewart’s Crystal Cave books, Marian Zimmer Bradley’s Mists of Avalon series, and Stephen Lawhead’s Pendragon Cycle. And of course, I’ll also be referencing my several non-fiction books on Arthurian lore, and classics like T H White’s The Once and Future King, and Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur. So don’t be too surprised if you find more Mordred than mermaids in my posts over the next little  while.

In other news, I am now a member of Outside In, an organisation that aims to provide a platform for artists who find it difficult to access the art world either because of mental health issues, disability, health, social circumstance or because their work does not conform to what is normally considered as art. You can see my gallery on their site, and both Pearls of Wisdom, and We Must Not Look at Goblin Men have been submitted as entries for the Outside In: Central exhibition at Compton Verney next year. This is the first time I’ve submitted work to a juried exhibition, and to be honest, it all feels a bit like an impossibility, but… go me for taking the first step!

April, May and June weren’t the easiest of months, but as I said on Twitter recently, I feel like I’ve been asleep for three months and have just woken up, so huzzah for new beginnings.

What about you, beloveds? Have you been busy?

All new all the time!

Okay, actually not, but the way I’ve been working on this site in the last couple of weeks, it feels like it. The Steward has been a busy, busy bee.

And now she’s handing over to the Herald to tell you about it.

Tarantaraaaaa! Tarantaraaaa! (that’s a trumpet, btw, just in case it wasn’t obvious)

The Shop

Detail of Mermaids Singing II in the Shop

My Shop has been reorganised and restocked with 20 (yes!) new items in it, many of them one-of-a-kind or limited stock. I’ve been working hard on expanding my range in both size and price and now prices for an original, framed piece of my mixed-media textile art start from just £30. Take a look at both the new sections Smaller Works and Original Gifts to see what’s available.

I’m also offering, for the first time here, some of my Major Works for sale. These are absolutely exclusive and will never be repeated. In fact, I’m not even sure what, or when, my next major work will be, so if you’re ready for this kind of investment, now is the time.

Also added to the Shop are new cards in the Stationery section. You’ve been asking for cards from Pearls of Wisdom for ages, and yes, they’re here at last! They’re affordable (£12.50 for 5) and showcase the detail I love to include in all my work. Of course, the cards from Elemental, We Must Not Look at Goblin Men, and Hamadryad: Oak are all still available too.

I’ve also added a new page about Commissions and clarified the Shop Terms and Conditions.

The Portfolio

Detail of Vine Man I in the Portfolio

My Portfolio has been extensively updated with more than 100 new photos. Lots and lots of new images, including many macro close-ups that let you see the kind of texture and detail that is so characteristic of my work with textiles.

I made a conscious decision here to go beyond the traditional artist portfolio that has just one image of each work in full and maybe one detail image. I know that many of you won’t have the chance to see my work in person, but this way I hope you can experience something like it. So many people tell me that what they love about my art is the way that they see a striking image from a distance but as they come closer they find more and more layers and depth and detail. So including lots of images is the only way I can share that with you online.

About Page

It’s hard to believe that it’s coming up for three years since I started this website, because so much has changed since then. Back then, I was really hesitant about even including the word ‘artist’ in my description!

Despite that, my About page had remained the same, and when I looked at it recently, I realised it didn’t reflect me any more. So I wrote a new one. I hope you’ll like it.

(Also, the Two Bad Dogs now have their own page. They insisted.)

Questing Notes Newsletter List

I’ve had my newsletter sign-up in my sidebar for a while, but I’ve never promoted it, so unsurprisingly, it’s still a pretty exclusive club of people. But I’m planning to use the newsletter a lot more in the future (monthly, that is) to let subscribers know in advance when I have new work available and give them first refusal on it. 

Please consider signing up to receive Questing Notes, and as a thank you for trusting me with your email, I’ll send you a coupon for 10% off your first order from the Shop.*

(Obviously, I would never pass on your details without your prior permission.)

*Valid against all items except Major Works

New Facebook Page

Cover image for Facebook page

I know there are people who spend most of their time on Facebook, and never venture out into the wilds of the internet (they don’t know what they’re missing!) so for those gentle types, I’ve created a Facebook page to mirror this website. My portfolio is available there as well and, of course, people can like, comment and share with their friends easily.

If you’re on Facebook, you can find it here.

More new stuff coming soon

• Book wraps, lavender pincushions, and covered journals – new items in the range of Original Gifts
• Prints! I’ll be offering prints of images from my Portfolio
• Coloodles! A new thing: doodles I’ve drawn for you to colour in!

And finally…

A request, beloved readers: I would be excited, thrilled and eternally grateful if you were willing to share this post, or any of the pages mentioned in it, with your friends, contacts and followers. There are handy buttons below to make it easy to spread the word on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, Pinterest and email, as well as a host of other websites.

The continuance of the Quest is now dependent on me building not just an audience but also selling my work, and I have so much more I want to be able to bring you!

Much love to you, best beloveds, as always,

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

I may not be what you’d call a Christian, but I take my wisdom where I find it. And it seems, that for me at least, this is more than just an aphorism.

For me, it seems that winter is a time of turning inward.

Not really hibernation, because actually I’ve been quite busy. But more a time of preparation and internal focus, a time for putting in place what’s necessary for the next phase of The Quest.

Every successful long journey needs someone in charge of supplies, maintenance, and logistics. In the case of my quest, the Steward ensures we have enough food to eat, tools to fix broken axles and clean pair of knickers.

She (who, remarkably, looks just like me) was concerned that we would be rushing off without proper preparation, and that, consequently, every time something happened along the way, we’d end up in a Last Minute Panic and the Queen of Last Minute Panics (who also looks like me) would have to be called out and then we’d end up in That Place Where We Get Through By The Skin Of Our Teeth And Suffer For It Afterwards.

The Steward didn’t like that idea. Neither did Fearless Fi the Fabulous Pirate, who leads the quest, so even though she (Fearless Fi) thought we ought to get going Right This Minute in case the Money Goblins got in a tizzy, she (the Steward – have I lost you yet?) argued and said, ”No. We need preparation, organisation and systems. Spending time on them now will support us later and make the journey smoother. A stitch in time, saves nine.” Etc. The Steward is fond of good, common sense.

The Steward won the argument.

Hence the inward focus.

So, outside the kooky-hippy-whatever questing metaphor what does that mean?

(I’m glad you asked, best beloveds!)

It means…

… that my studio (which I used to call the hahaha-studio only partly in jest) has been completely decluttered, redecorated and reorganised. It has become a real, workable space that I want to spend time in for the first time in years. I can now do not only my stitching and fabric work in there, but also product photography.

This is what the studio looked like before the Steward got her hands on it

… that the little office next door is currently going through the same process – it will be rearranged as a room for both drawing and painting work, and a place for the Steward to keep all her stewarding gear (things like Steward’s notes and the Ledger of Reckonings).

Same studio two months later, with product photography in progress

(Lest you get all jealous and think I have a ton of space to play with, let me disillusion you – these are just our two small spare bedrooms, nothing fancy at all.)

… the Steward has also been busy with setting up systems for all sorts of things she has to do, like keeping the Ledger of Reckonings up to date, preparing the products to go in my Window Box shop, documenting and standardising, tracking and organising. In fact, she just has some decorating to do on the Gypsy Caravan (that’s this website) still, and then she’ll be ready to hand over to the Herald, whose job it is to tell people about the products for sale in the Window Box.

… the Herald, meanwhile, who also looks like me, is getting herself ready by saying “Lalalalala” a lot, rehearsing her sales pitch, and practising speaking a bit more loudly than she’s used to.

(The Herald has an important job ahead of her and she’s still a bit unsure about whether she’s up to it. She’s not sure that it’s not a bit, well, uppity and too much like blowing her own trumpet. Fearless Fi has told her that blowing a trumpet is exactly what heralds do, but she’s still working up to the idea.)

… and all this time, Fearless Fi has been using the time to do some preparation of her own. She’s been tinkering with an astrolabe and sextant, and busily writing a Questing Plan, “being the purpose, strategy and milestones of the journey” (she doesn’t talk about “goals” because goal setting give her the heebie jeebies) and drawing up some Questing Maps, “being the detail of the journey”.

Fearless Fi loves stamping!

So that’s how we’ve spent the winter – preparing for the next leg of our journey.

A Questing Plan requires thought, colour and glitter glue

And now it’s spring (as near as dammit; I call spring as soon as March arrives).

Which means it’s time to come out of turning inward, to polish up the wheels on the caravan, and head out for adventure.

I do hope you’ll be coming along for the ride, beloveds!

I cannot tell a lie, beloveds, it has been a crappy month.

When I last wrote, I was just recovering from illness, and was ready to tackle Art Every Day Month with gusto.

Alas! the best laid plans, etc, etc.

Instead, I injured my back, and have spent the last three weeks pretty much incapacitated with sciatica. I’m taking strong painkillers, anti-inflammatories, and am waiting for some physiotherapy to start, but meanwhile I’m unable to sit up for more than a couple of minutes at a time. I stand to eat meals and walk around to keep mobile, but not being able to sit is so very, very boring, beloveds! (Not to mention pain, and numbness, but as I just said, we won’t mention that.)

Since I can’t sit in a chair and can only stand up for so long, activities for AEDM have been somewhat restricted.

Yes, we’re back to the big book of doodles and colouring in!

So for your delight and delectation, I now present my latest doodles in glorious Inktense-i-colour. Not all of them were done this month but I thought I’d include them anyway. Just because I can.

First off, one I really did draw in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep.

The seventh doodle

And this one was when it seemed to be taking forever for the weather to warm up.

The eighth doodle

Then the first one I drew on a long-haul flight to while away some of the tedious hours in cattle-car class.

The ninth doodle

By then I was on a roll, so I continued straight on and drew this one on the plane as well.

The tenth doodle

This is the first one for Art Every Day Month – and the first one in the book that has no text at all. (But apparently I still have the colour sense of a 12 year old girl!)

The 11th doodle

I’m trying to do doodles for all my favourite mottoes, and I lurve this one!

The 12th doodle

And finally, a vaguely op-art inspired doodle, still being coloured in.

The 13th doodle–still in progress

I think there is room for around 80 spreads in this sketchbook – how cool would it be if I could fill the whole thing?

—

Of course, since I can’t really sit, it’s pretty hard to type as well. So I am also introducing to you my latest Questing companion, Patsy the scribe. (Really serious Questors have to have someone to record their adventures, right?)

Patsy is my dictation software. As I can’t type for myself very easily, she is scribing for me instead. Unfortunately, just like Havi’s retired Stu, she doesn’t always get it right, which can be both hilarious and frustrating.

For example, instead of delectation, she’s now given me the following variants:

• the lactation
• dealer quotation
• dealing nation.

Which, in the place of “your delectation”, beloveds, did make me giggle.

Why is she called Patsy?

I have the lovely Wendy Cholbi to thank for this one. She was the one who reminded me that in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, King Arthur’s squire (the one with the coconuts) on the quest was called Patsy. He wasn’t that bright either.

This post brought to you courtesy of Patsy, who has no opinion on the content whatsoever because she isn’t very bright and lives in a computer. But we love her anyway.