Fiasco Sauce

My Reality Lately

2013-03-17T11:05:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about reality TV in almost 8 months, or longer. I just can't get into it right now because the reality shows that are very popular right now are just not shows I want to or are willing to watch. It's the age of white trash reality, and since I've lived it in some ways, I don't want to watch it. Shows that feature loudmouth children and overbearing mothers, rednecks made good, rednecks still doing bad or what it is like to live in a trailer park are just not interesting to me. I still watch "The Bachelor," but Sean has particularly bored me this year. I didn't care who he picked, and I don't believe they will end up married. We will see.

My own reality is worrying about my kids, experimenting with a second job this year (it's over now but more on that in another blog), maintaining my relationship, and finding my way at 50. I'm probably happier than I have ever been personally, but there are things I need to do! I will share those later also. Today, I'm just playing catch up.

Good day.

The Bachelorette Emily Maynard .. Finale Recap (July 22, 2012)

2012-07-30T06:01:00.001-07:00

Jef met the parents first. He does the right thing … flowers for mom and sis, make nice with the brother, asks for Dad’s blessing.

Arie goes up next (why bother, right?), but the whole family likes him, too.

I would bet the family would like Sean, and Chris and even Ryan. These things always go well. Remember Courtney?

Dad and brother believe it is not possible to love two men at once. Emily says she never though so either … but she is!

Until the next day when she spends the day with Jef. She keeps insisting that “he gets me.” They have time with Ricki (say goodbye, Arie) and then an evening alone.

Arie is done for. She tells Chris Harrison she can’t have the final date with Arie. She knows Jef is the one for her. She’s crying the whole time.

She goes to break the news to Arie … but lets him kiss her and rub a “love potion” on her arm before she finally breaks down crying and tells him “I love someone else a little bit more.” A LITTLE BIT MORE. Did you hear that Jef?

It was painful to watch Arie profess his love (prior to the date) knowing what was about to happen. Even on the “after show” he admits still having feelings, searching her out in North Carolina (off camera) and then allowing his friend JEF to talk him through it. Wow, Jef is either crazy or unbelievably awesome. And, excuse me, but if Arie really reached out to Emily privately ... why didn't he keep it that way?

Back to the show, Arie (and I) did appreciate that she didn’t put him through the pain of a rejected proposal. He’s upset, but he handles it pretty well.

I think she wants forgiveness from Arie, but I don’t think she’s going to get it. Arie feels “stupid” … all the guys say that. The girls always wonder “What is wrong with me?”

Then we hear Emily wondering if she should get engaged. Is she ready? Should she wait? All that is out the door after Jef gets down on one knee and proposes.

This whole show could have taken place in 30 minutes. Thanks for the two hours ABC. I'm anxious to see who the new "Bachelor" is ... Some say Roberto or Sean. I'm still going with Arie. We'll see.

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) July 9, 201

2012-07-11T04:09:00.002-07:00

It’s the final time the four of them will be together. I’m so glad. I can’t take much more of this. Really, two hours of this is TOO long.

Emily is struggling between Sean the Hunk, Jef the Monk, and Arie the Punk.

SeanSean gets the first day-long date. They take a helicopter … finally a helicopter! They sit on the beach and it’s almost painful to watch Sean holding back. He wants to say it. He says it to the camera (he actually does love the camera, he is a model after all.) He feels like it should say it. He’s there. The producers are watching it. Emily needs it. He’s one of the final three already! But it’s hard to say something you really don’t feel.

Cue to the evening date, Sean reads Emily a letter that he wrote for her daughter, Ricki. Sweet but … not … really … about … Ricki. Kinda short too.

Finally, Sean says “I have fallen in love with you.” Not the same thing as “I love you.” He is really having a hard time with this. I think he wants to feel it and thinks he should feel it, but I don’t think he is feeling it.

She gives the Fantasy Suite key to Sean (now we know this is how it’s going to work) and waits for Sean to say “I’d like to spend more time with you.” She describes Sean as “So hot and so manly.” They spend time in the hot tub, hang out some more, and then Emily sends him home. She’s a mom and does the right thing to set a good example.

JefJef gets to go on a boat ride. They have a comfortable day. Emily says Jef gets her like no one gets her. They definitely have an easy relationship. There’s no holding back for Jef. He’s feeling the love and he’s telling her, the producers, the boat captain, the fish, anyone who will listen.

Later that day, he’s the one asking the questions. He wants to know where they would live. She says wherever he wants, but maybe a fresh start somewhere new. Is she thinking Hollywood? He wants to know why other relationships haven’t worked out. She blames the fact that “it” was missing. Whatever that special something is. She tells Jef he makes her laugh and he makes her feel self-confident.

And, finally he asks her, “Am I a good fit for Ricki?” And, she thinks he would be a perfect fit. She tells him that when she was home, between “bachelor trips” the one person she could imagine herself and Ricki with each morning was Jef.

Wow.

She offers him the Fantasy Suite key, and in the nicest way possible, he turns her down out of respect for her daughter, her family, his family, his dog (OK, maybe not the dog) and says he‘s hoping for many nights in a fantasy suite of their own. Nice.

He says to the camera that it’s time to “bridle their passions.” I guess he hasn’t seen her with Arie.

ArieAnd, Arie, who gets to swim with the fishes. Literally, the dolphins. He calls “Emily” the love of his life. He admits it’s hard to talk to her because he is always kissing her. Yep. They have chemistry.

But they have a talk at dinner, finally. She wants to know a few things about him and it’s pretty clear … they are very different. He doesn’t like to be alone. He eats out every night. He has lots of friends. He travels a lot. He sleeps in. Their lifestyles are very different. He's a party boy, and she's a mom. Hmmmm ...

Despite all of that, he says what Emily wants to hear when it comes to Ricki … he would try to be her friend first before a dad. On and on. Emily likes it. She seems to ignore the party about his frat-boy lifestyle ...

She doesn’t offer him the Fantasy Suite key. Doesn’t trust herself.

It’s pretty obvious what’s going to happen next even though they all get one last chance with a “video of love.” Emily cries because this is so hard. She realizes it takes heart break to find the person you are supposed to be with but she doesn’t want to be the one to teach that lesson. Too bad. You signed up for this.

And, then there are two roses. Jef gets the first one and Arie gets the second. Sean handles it all very well. Emily cries. He makes a very classy exit. Two weeks after this was over … I’m sure he was wiping the sweat off his forehead and thanking his lucky stars that he dodged that bullet. I like Sean so I’m glad he made it out.

Things to note:

Emily has lots of bikinis.
Emily has enhanced more than her teeth.
Emily shouldn’t wear her hair pulled back. And that choice of skirt for the final rose ceremony was unfortunate.
How do you cry and not mess up your makeup? Who can do that? Emily!

My predictions:

Easy. Jef is the winner. Arie is a future bachelor. He will be even creepier when kissing EVERYONE. Get ready.

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) July 2, 2012

2012-07-08T13:17:00.002-07:00

"I could really be in love with some of them," says Emily prior to the hometown dates. That's great news because she's about to be engaged to one these guys! Who knew this could happen?

Just want to point out a few things about the hometown dates and Emily before the show summary:

Emily (throughout this entire season) is constantly licking her front teeth. This is common with someone who just got braces off or perhaps has new veneers or caps. Thoughts on that? Anyway, it's so annoying. I just had to point it out.
No divorces among the parents of the guys who made it to the hometown dates.
Two of the final four seem to come from VERY wealthy families. Hmmmm ....
Two of the final four have parents from different countries.
Only one of the final four is a southerner, and Emily is VERY southern.
Sean is not that funny.

First, she visits Chris in Chicago ... he's a first generation Polish American so he knows "all the Polish places" says Emily. He seems to have a great family and has two sisters. One of the sisters, who seems a little worried about this process, as they all should be, told Emily to "end it sooner rather than later" if it wasn't working out. Smart girl. Chris tells Emily he's in love with her. I literally screamed at the TV, "NO!" I knew this wouldn't end well.

Jef was up next ... on to Salt Lake City. He's quite the marksman, and he takes Emily to shoot skeet. Then to meet his large Mormon family. (Not sure if that will weigh into her decision, but I believe his parents are quite involved in the Church.) His family farm or land or whatever it was insane. Those people have some money. They were very nice, lots of kids, open to Emily.

Then Arie in Scottsdale, Arizona. Emily seemed to be the happiest to see him. No doubt. He's a race car driver like his daddy and her took her for a ride in an Indy car. I know nothing about this sport so that's all I can say. She said he looked "stupid hot" but I will settle for "stupid." Maybe she meant "super hot?" Whatever. This guy does nothing for me, and I can't stand the way he can't keep his hands to himself. But, Emily likes it. Who would have thought it? She is definitely the most happy with Arie.

At his parents' house, it's obvious Mom rules the roost. She asked lots of questions ... especially about Brad. Wow. Emily was in the hot seat. She's going to have to get past the mother to get to Arie.

Finally a visit to Sean in Dallas, Texas. Sean and his family played some really funny jokes on Emily ... they acted like Sean still lived there and showed her his messy room and then served up a cooked armadillo for dinner. I'm not kidding. But, I liked his parents. His family seemed very nice and pretty normal except for the bad jokes. Sean chased her SUV down for a last kiss as she drove away. Ahhhhh shucks.

So .... it's down to the final three as Chris is eliminated.

"I don't know what to say," says Emily. And, then she goes on to explain how the other relationships were just moving faster.

Chris gets testy and says, "I told you I loved you. How much faster could the others be moving?" I guess he hasn't seen Arie at work. Then, he calms down and wishes her the best. He's hurt.

Well, he won't be the only one. I am glad he escaped. He will be fine.

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) June 25, 2012

2012-07-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

They are in Prague.

At this point, I think the guys are enjoying each other as much as anything. Who wouldn't be? Traveling the world with a group of your buddies ... FREE. They want to hang in there for the ride. Emily is simply a sidebar. I've watched this franchise forever (I know, I know), and I think this group of guys has gotten along as well as any group of girls or guys ... better than any really. I'm glad they are enjoying each other because Emily is no fun.

Arie gets the first one-on-one date with the "woman of his dreams" ... yawn ... really? And, Emily feels like she is "vacationing with my husband."

But Arie has a secret. The producers played it up, but it was a non-event. Arie went out, it seems very casually, with one of the producers on the show and she finally tells Emily. He explains it away ... off camera of course. Then, they kissed and made up and rode off into the sunset together and lived happily ever after. We didn't have to watch any more of the painful "endings" of "relationships" with the other guys. And, never heard from Emily or Arie again. I wish.

I have a sneaking suspicion that if HE's the GUY and they GET MARRIED, we'll get to watch it all LIVE.

Next one-on-one is with John. He doesn't seem to be able to "step up" and really tell her what she wants to hear. Emily really wants the guys to kiss her and love on her and make her feel special. This girl needs attention. You better give it to her. And, better now than later. But, he can't do it. No chemistry. Barely any conversation. He says he wants to take Emily home to meet his parents ... he thinks.

The group date is with Sean, Doug and Chris. Chris is edgy. He wants more time alone. He is acting out. Acting very YOUNG. Sean gets Emily alone and kisses her. We all know that guarantees him a trip to next week. Doug, so sweet and humble (quit hating on him, people!), has a hard time getting physical ... he's a old-fashioned guy and this group mugging is not his style. She gets him alone, and he does give her a quick, awkward kiss because he knows she is looking for this ... but she sends him home anyway. Too little too late. She's in a hurry Doug! She needs a husband! Now! I feel sorry for this guy. She was not nice to him. He will find a girl out there ... not too worry.

Back at the house, John, who is kinda funny ... can't decide if it will be worse if Chris gets the group date rose or doesn't. He doesn't. Sean, the make-out man, is the victor.

Then, Jef gets a one-on-one date. They have this weird marionette play, but he makes Emily really laugh and scores points for thinking of Ricki and getting her a marionette, too. She definitely has chemistry with Jef, and he's easy to talk to and he has a calming, pleasant personality.

So, at the rose ceremony ... we prepare for the hometown dates and the FINAL FOUR are Chris, Jef, Arie and Sean. No surprises. The spoilers were all right.

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) June 18, 2012

2012-06-21T20:17:00.001-07:00

They are in Croatia.

I know this city is old. I know it has history. I just don’t see it as romantic. Maybe it’s just me.

Emily is in a mood. No more playing. Step up or be stepped on. She wants a husband! Her one-on-one dates this time around are for real … and the first guy on the chopping block is sweet, funny Travis. They go “exploring” Croatia. They get ice cream. Emily picks pistachio … ahhh, I should have known. They have a silly, horrible date. And, Travis gets sent packing. He cries because it hurts. Don’t cry, dude. He was in the “friend zone,” but he is a good guy … there is a girl for him … lots of girls out there now.

On the group date … it’s John, Doug, Sean, Jef, Chris and Arie, and they go so the children’s movie Brave … there’s never been a more shameless plug except maybe Diet Coke or Ford on American Idol. I know this is NOT the movie these guys would have picked.

Then they play the “highland games” and they all get to wear kilts. “You know what the difference is between a skirt and a kilt,” says Sean. “Nothing.”

Chris sucks at all the events. Has bad form when shooting the bow and arrow. Goes first at the “log toss” but can’t throw it. And challenges his bigger and badder rival, Doug, to the “pull” thing and loses. All as a good sport.

Sean, however, is an athlete and shows his stuff. Emily thinks he’s hot.

Chris, however, wins the “bravery cup” for putting it all on the line and laughing it off.

During the evening group date, Emily spends time alone with each guy and ….

Basically tells Sean to “hang in there” as if there’s something we all don’t know.\
Makes out with Arie.
Gets a word-lashing from Jef with “we could have the kind of love that people write novels about” or some such nonsense. And then Emily wonders out loud to Jen what took him so long to kiss her. She wants aggressive, in-your-face men. That’s why she likes Arie.
But Chris, one of my faves, gets the group date rose. Take that, Arie, you kissin’ freak!

Then, the next one-on-one date is with the charmer, Ryan. They have chemistry. They have a fun day. They laugh. She smiles showing off her beautiful (capped?) teeth. They have easy conversations. Ryan wonders if she is the woman God has chosen for him.

But, he blows it at the dinner. He reads her a list of all the things he wants in a wife after dinner, probably thinking she fits the bill. It includes stuff like … loyalty, confident, faithful, unselfish, encourager, assertive … all things that benefit him. However, it doesn’t include the one thing that would be at the top of Emily’s list “a loving family.” Ah oh, Ryan.

She likes him but she doesn’t give him the rose. Surprisingly, he almost … but not quite … makes her rethink it. She stands her ground. Wow. She’s tougher than I thought.

He handles it better than I thought. Takes the blow fairly gracefully, and he’s gone.

Then, later … Arie, the snake … makes a trip to Emily’s hotel to tell her she made the right decision (nice work, Arie, warning her AFTER Ryan has left the building), kiss her a few dozen times, and sit on her bed. Yuck! I really do not like this guy.

At the rose ceremony, John and Doug are on the bubble. John wins her over by pulling out the big guns … funeral cards of his grandparents that he keeps in his wallet. He was just waiting for the right moment …

And, Doug, he’s so awkward, but I like him. He’s just so so nervous around her, but I think she wants a very, or somewhat aggressive, guy. He’s not the one.

However, both of their heads are saved from chopping block as everyone gets a rose.

More next week.

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) June 11, 2012

2012-06-16T07:07:00.001-07:00

And then there were 10.

Plus Emily. Plus Ricki. Plus Chris.

Even Chris Harrison is now saying it. The word that usually scares most men. Not these guys. Not these bachelors. They want the title. Husband. Emily wants a husband. Emily wants a husband! She says that more than she says love. Or companion. Or friend. Or marriage.

Emily has a one-track mind. She’s not a modern woman. She’s not an interesting woman. She doesn’t have a career as far as I can tell (being on reality shows to find a husband is not a career!) I really don’t see what the guys see in her except a ticket to being The Bachelor. Poor Emily. She’s a pretty, very simple, very boring, girl. I am struggling to stay awake, struggling to appear slightly interested, wondering if the reality world cares if we bloggers document this season at all.

My boyfriend even says Emily is hot but oh-so-boring. I make him watch this show with me every week and he still likes me. He’s a good guy.

Anyway ….

Her first one-on-one date is with Sean. He really is a great guy. Seems genuine. Emily says “good guys that look like you are usually boring.” Wow, the same could be said of her, and it would be TRUE. On their evening date, Emily calls him “marriage material,” which doesn’t sound good for Sean. I like him enough that I don’t want him to win. He thinks love could be there. However, Emily is not looking for love, she’s looking for a husband. Get that through your thick meatheads, guys.

Sean gets a rose.

On the group date, the guys are required to perform Shakespeare. Some get to play Romeo (including Ryan) and some get to play the nurse (like Arie and Doug). Travis shows his funny side, “Shakespeare is huge in Mississippi.” The outfit that Ryan is wearing during the rehearsals should have been sent home. What is with the scarf?

They perform in front of an audience, and they all get the laughs. Doug and Arie show their feminine sides. Arie has a wig. Doug gets a hat. Kalon is too serious. Emily is a terrible actress. Doug and Travis have some fun. John gets a kiss from one of the guys and gives it a “two out of three because it was wet and warm but a little rough.” Arie, surprising, is a little nervous. Ryan is excited … because he gets to kiss Emily.

Later, they are in the pub. And, Arie … true to form … is kissing Emily in about two seconds. Then, Ryan, gets her alone. And, Emily, tells him he is “trouble.” Ryan says, “When a girl tells you that you are trouble and then smiles when she says it, she usually wants to get in trouble.” He gives her a necklace, and a kiss. Emily is falling for his act. He is a charmer. I hope they end up together.

Kalon, who is a joke, says Emily has “baggage” referring to her daughter. Doug tells Emily. So …. Kalon gets to go home. He doesn’t seem too upset, although Emily is very upset. Kalon reiterates that her having a child is a responsibility, and she says it is a “blessing.” I, as a mother, say it is both. Emily is a little unreasonable. Having children is a responsibility and she is unrealistic if she doesn’t see it as such.

He tries to talk. She won’t let him (as he did this to her earlier … so good for her.) Kalon acknowledges he is not the right guy for her.

Emily is mad because no one told her about Kalon saying that Ricki was baggage. However, Doug did tell her. I don’t get it.

No one on the group date gets a rose.

Final one-on-one date is with Jef. They have annoying tea lessons, then dinner at a pub. Then dessert up high in some tower thing. Jef talks too much, but he tells Emily he wants a partner in life. Unconditional love. One and on. He is definitely trying to win her attention.

Jef gets a rose.

Emily gives everyone the third degree at the rose ceremony. Wants to know who has her back. Eventually, Doug, Ryan, Chris, John, Travis and Arie get roses. Alejandro gets sent home. Finally, it's over. I was so glad!

More next week.

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) June 4, 2012

2012-06-10T19:19:00.003-07:00

Sorry so late on the recap. No excuses. Just a busy, busy work week.

They are in Bermuda and, to me, it doesn't suit Emily. Take her back down South, please. Is it cold there? She always seems to need a sweater.

First date is a one-on-one with the perfect guy, Doug. The problem with Doug that Emily has yet to see is he is just a little touchy, a little thin-skinned. But hey, if that is the worst of his faults ... He's OK. She likes him; and on their date they did "what married couples do" on vacation, says Emily, and Doug is cool with it. Shopping, walking, sending postcards home. She even sent a postcard to his son. Nice, Emily. They also walked through the "moongate" where couples can make a wish. Emily's wish was "I won't be single forever." This girl has a one-track mind. Does she even have a job or a career or any other thoughts other than HUSBAND, HUSBAND, HUSBAND.

By the way, no kiss for Doug. He likes to take it slow. Good for him.

Second date was a group date.The guys were broken up into teams and had to race a freakin' boat (not a sailor among them) for a win and an evening with Emily. The team that won included Arie, Ryan, Jef and Kalon. On the evening date, Arie steals Emily away immediately and starts putting on the moves. I'm not sure they talked much. That's the relationship with Arie ... mutual attraction and lots of smooching. The time alone with Jef seemed a little awkward, and he's a little shy, but she likes him. I actually like him, too. He seems very normal despite the hair. Not much going on with Kalon. But Ryan, oh boy, goes for the jugular, and judges Emily for the kisses with Arie and tells her to her face. At least he's honest. But, I would bet, if he were the bachelor, he would have kissed many a girl at this point in the "competition." He's a snake.

And, by the way, Jef gets the group date rose.

Now, I've judged Emily for kissing the guys, but I personally don't like it when "The Bachelor" does it either. I just think it makes it awkward for the eventual winner. However, the eventual winner always ends up a loser so I don't think it really matters if I am really honest.

The two-on-one date is with John and Nate, and it is AWKWARD. Nate ends up going home when he shows his softer side and gets a little teary when talking about his family. Emily doesn't want a boy; she wants a man. That explains why Ryan is still around. She likes it a little rough.

At the end of the evening, Michael goes home as does Charlie (no roses for them). Do you even remember them? I think they were both too nice for Emily. I think the eventual winner will be aggressive with Emily, but also a nice guy. That means it is looking good for Sean and Arie.

SPOILER:

I think it's Kalon who gets the early boot tomorrow night after referring to Emily's daughter as "baggage." As a mom with children of my own, I can imagine how overwhelmingly infuriated a mom would be at that reference. He doesn't deserve her or anyone else. I can't wait until he has kids of his own and realizes how stupid that comment really was ... What an idiot.

More after tomorrow night. Earlier I promise.

The Bachelorette Emily Maynard (May 28, 2012)

2012-05-29T06:54:00.001-07:00

I missed last week, but I don't think I really missed anything. You know what I mean. I don't even know who went home. I don't even care. Who would have I thought I would miss the days of Bentley, or Ames, or even ... God forbid ... Courtney ... but I do. This season has all the excitement of an insurance seminar. So far, a real snoozefest. But, let's recap last night anyway. Try to stay with me.

Emily had one-on-one dates with Chris and Arie. They both got entertained by country music stars, Chris by someone I don't know and Arie by Dolly Parton. Both got kisses and both got roses. I felt like Emily had some chemistry with both of them. I prefer Chris as Arie seems a little toooo smooth. He's a cool guy, but is he playing a part? Hard to tell. Emily is worried that Chris is too young. He's 25. She's 26. I really see her point. NO, I don't. His age is a "red flag" to her. The fact that they are both on this show is a "red flag" to me.

Emily claims guys like Arie are hard to find. Maybe. I don't trust any of their motives at this point. He says she has "1,000 percent exceeded my expectations." I wonder what his expectations were? Do they even know who they will be "dating" when they apply to be on the show? I don't think so.

Then, there is the group date which, as usual, includes a bunch of guys. Not Kalon. Get to that in a minute. They get to a park and she hands them a football, and they think it's a game. It's not. She's brought four of her friends to interview them and determine which of them is "worthy of being my husband."

By the way, Emily is making no bones about it. She is looking for a husband in this mess. A husband and a father for her daughter.

During the "interview process" ... looks like Doug, Tony, Jef and Sean come out on top. They definitely know how to talk to the "moms." After the interview, the producers bring out a crop of kids for the guys to entertain and they all do their best except Ryan, who decides to intervene in the "girl talk" between Emily and her friends. He makes the mistake of talking about how he would feel if Emily gained weight. "I would love you, but I wouldn't love on you." Bad move, Dude. Emily didn't like it either.

Pre-rose ceremony, there are some bad moves all around:

Tony cries for his kid. Emily decides he's really not the guy for her and, since he misses his kid so much, sends him home.
Alessandro tells Emily being with her and her daughter would be a "compromise" and she thinks it would be an "honor." He gets shown the door.
Kalon tells Emily his true feelings, and thus, shows his true colors by "interrupting" her and telling her to "let him finish." He was not happy to be excluded from all the dating. She says she likes "tall, skinny and funny" but not "tall, skinny and condescending." He's lucky to get to stick around. He will not last. He is strictly for entertainment purposes.
Emily makes out with Arie at the party. Not nice, Emily.

Party MC Steve does not get a rose and also gets sent home. He was weird anyway. Sean gets an early rose also along with Chris and Arie. Those three have staying power. Next week might get interesting with some drama with Chris and Doug and issues with Ryan.

One good thing about Emily. She dresses a little more demurely than previous bachelorettes ... so far. I may eat my words with that one. One bad thing about Emily. She is still kissing everyone. Come on.

More next week.

The Bachelorette Emily Maynard (May 14, 2012)

2012-05-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

I haven’t had a reality TV show to blog about in while, but now that The Bachelorette is on … I’ve decided to go with it. I was going to blog about this season of Sister Wives, hoping for some excitement or marital drama but it was a no-go. I fell asleep during the first episode. They are so boring. I’m sorry, but they just don’t have as many issues or as much chaos as I had hoped. Doesn’t make for good reality TV. Or maybe it does.

Emily Maynard. She’s very sweet, at least so far, but she liked some of the guys I did NOT think she would. I was taking notes as the show started and I literally wrote down “skateboarding idiot” next to Jef’s name, and she ended up really liking him. He has the crazy hairdo and what she thinks is a “cool” persona, which made her feel like a dork. Really?

I’m getting ahead of myself. They started the show with all the stuff you expected. Emily reliving her lost love (he, sadly, died in a plane crash). Her being a single mom. Winning, then losing, the relationship with Brad on The Bachelor. Everything went exactly as expected.

Prior to the show airing, and strictly based on looks, I “highlighted” my favorites. They were Aaron, a biology teacher; Arie, the race car driver; Charlie, a recruiter who had the sad story of being in a horrible accident (a porch/deck collapsed while he was on it); Chris, a corporate sales director; Sean, an insurance agent; Tony, a lumber trader who came in with a gimmick (one of many who did) … a glass slipper; and Travis, an advertising sales rep who had an egg he planned to “care for like I would you and your daughter.”

I still think these guys might have a chance.

Others were Alejandro, mushroom farmer; Alessandro; grain merchant; Brent, a technology salesman with six kids; David, a singer/songwriter; Doug, a real-estate agent with a child; Jackson, a fitness model; Jean-Paul, a marine biologist; Joe, a field, energy advisor who was just a little excited; John or “Wolf”, a data destruction specialist; Kalon, the rich guy who came in a helicopter; Kyle, a financial advisor who caught her attention with her favorite color tie; Lerone, a real estate consultant; Michael, a music lover and rehab consultant; Nate, an accountant who she thought was “cute”; Randy, a marketing manager who started the process dressed as a grandma; and Ryan, a pro sports trainer.

Then I watched the show, and Doug got the first impression rose with a letter to Emily from his son. Nice move. Jef impressed because Emily thinks he is cool. Ryan got her attention with his looks. Chris is sweet and in it to win it. Arie is nice looking and definitely has her attention based on that alone.

I know there are spoiler blogs out there. I haven’t looked. My favorites to win it are Chris, Arie, Ryan, Jef, Tony, Doug or Sean … based on episode 1. I say win because this is a game, and it won’t work despite what Emily said, … “I know it can work.” Really, Emily, did it work for you? Come on.

Those that went home were: David, Brent, Jackson, Lerone, Jean-Paul and Randy.

More next week.

The Bachelor 2012 Season Finale

2012-03-14T04:58:00.002-07:00

“I win! I win!,” screamed Courtney as Bachelor Ben got down on one knee to pop the question to his “forever” gal Courtney in the scenic mountains of Switzerland.

Wait a minute. She said “I love you.” She meant “I won this damn game.” She crinkled her nose, touched her shiny forehead, brushed back her stringy hair (with those weird gloves … what was up with that?), and accepted his proposal with a kiss. He professed his love, and she hers. All in the name of real love in eight weeks or less.

And so goes the season finale of “The Bachelor” with one of the worst kept reality show secrets of all time as Ben picks Courtney as his betrothed. Courtney, the model we all love to hate. And, not because she’s pretty (she’s not THAT pretty) and not because she’s skinny (she is skinny) … it’s because she’s rude and hateful and boring and full of herself.

Anyway, the whole show was shot in the typical foreign land (with helicopters and sleds and limos oh my). The typical "I'm in love with both of these women." But, he wasn't really. The slight emotional turmoil that Lindzi was in was just a subplot to the storyline of Ben and Courtney. It was obvious that he was all about Courtney. Ben wasn’t even nervous when his mom and sister, Julia, met Lindzi. She was sweet and got along with them just fine, and he didn’t even really care. He was worried about Courtney. Julia had her misgivings, and surprisingly, they all flew out the window when she met Courtney. Mom and sister adored her.

Now, I’m trying to remember their perspective. They only spent a few moments with her, and a snake can be charming for even a minute or two. And even Ben. He never saw what the girls saw. I have to keep telling myself that. He just kept seeing MODEL. Hearing the word MODEL. In a few weeks, men aren’t thinking personality; it’s just a physical attraction.

But, unfortunately for Ben, he got a TV wake up call when the show aired. During the “after the rose” show, it was revealed that their relationship was in turmoil because of her shenanigans on the show … it must have been like a blast of cold water in the face (not really just a blast but a complete hosing) for Ben to watch those many moments of Courtney’s cruelty …. To see her reaction to the other girls … her unforgiving nature … to see her say “Ben’s not the only guy out there” and “kill shot” when speaking of the other girls. Talk about a rude awakening. I had to feel sorry for the guy.

So, during the after show, we had to witness a painful reunion … how Courtney felt abandoned (who cares … she can thank herself for any bad karma that comes her way) and Ben looking scraggly and admitting breaking off the relationship and … probably feeling duped. As of now, they are still engaged kind of … neither seemed very sure about this. I don’t give it much time, and I doubt there will be a wedding in the future.

What a miserable season. It was painful to watch this nice guy get taken for a ride. We’ll see what happens to sweet and innocent Emily Maynard on “The Bachelorette.” Is she for real? Or will we see a new “reality show” Emily ready to take on 25 ridiculous guys who aren’t really looking for love but their 15 minutes of fame? If she’s as sweet as she pretends to be, she’s going to get heartbroken, and if not, the rest of us will be.

The Bachelor, Episodes 7 and 8

2012-02-24T12:37:00.001-08:00

Episode 7

We are in Belize.

I wasn't sure if I was watching "Fear Factor" or "The Bachelor" because in this episode, Ben was determined to make sure all the girls were scared out of their wits on the dates with him. Because that will prove true love. If you can conquer your fears for him, he will pick you. Not really. He's just making you think that.

First date. Lindzi gets to jump out of a helicopter for Ben. She's afraid of heights but so so what. They jump into the "blue hole."

Second date. Sweet Emily. She gets to dive into the ocean and catch her own dinner. Lobster.

Third date. Courtney. They climb a Mayan temple with a million stairs that are straight up and they are sweating buckets. And, Courtney starts talking. She's telling Ben every random thought that has ever crossed her mind including that she wasn't sure if she wants to take him home and then wants him to make her feel better about the relationship ... and it almost sounds like a threat? Does she understand the rules of the show? He makes the decisions here. You would think a normal guy wouldn't like that, and would not take kindly to her attitude. But Ben ain't no normal guy. He ignores the warnings signs again, and he tells Courtney he appreciates her honesty. "I want a woman who's got a little edge," says Ben. Most people don't call that an "edge" Ben.

Courtney is a female Bentley. The difference is that Ashley figured it out, and Ben isn't smart enough to do so. The whole time she is blowing smoke to Ben, he doesn't see it at all. While they are sitting on top of the temple, Ben claims he feels close to his father (who has passed on) and says his dad would be proud. The problem is that his dad is seeing things that Ben is not.

Courtney then tells the camera "Goodbye" as if speaking to the other girls. And, "I hate you all." OK.

By the way, all three of these one-on-one dates were horrible. I would have wanted to go home if I were one of these girls. Climbing a temple, killing my own dinner, trying to conquer my fear of heights ... forget it.

And, then the group date. Kacie, Nicki and Rachel. They get to swim with sharks! Nicki and Kacie take it in stride while Rachel looks sick to her stomach. He caters to her the whole time, swimming with her, holding her hand, whatever. It doesn't help. At the end of the group date, Kacie gets the rose.

While they are all waiting for the rose ceremony, Courtney is saying things like ..."Ben's not the only guy in the world" and "he's not our only shot at love." I wonder what he thinks about that if she's "the one." The other girls seem to think he is. Anway, Rachel and Emily did not get a rose. Down to the Final Four and hometown dates.

Episode 8, Hometown Dates

This is going to short and sweet because I actually fell asleep. I was so bored. I am going to link you to my friend Matthew's blog because he did a long recap.

Ben went to Lindzi's home first. Parents with a long marriage. Nice family. Good visit.

Then to Kacie's hometown. I didn't think this went well. Her parents were very protective, and they let their feelings be known. They wanted him to let her down NOW if it wasn't going anywhere. They were very skeptical and rightly so. Smartest of the bunch. I think he listened.

Nicki's parents were divorced but seemed to get along fine. Again, a nice, boring family. She did make him go shopping for cowboy boots with her. That was strange.

And, finally, Courtney. She made him participate in a mock wedding and declared her love for him. He seemed open to all the ridiculousness.

Kacie didn't get a rose. She was very upset, and wondered what was wrong with her. Nothing dear. It's him, not you.

http://wecreasmans.blogspot.com/2012/02/bachelor-2012-week-8.html

The Bachelor, Episode 6

2012-02-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

The remaining girls ... oh, and Ben ... are in Panama ... and there is one group date, the much-wanted one-on-one date, and the dreaded two-on-one date where one girl goes home.

As the show starts, Ben is reading from the standard script ..."there are women here I can see myself with for the rest of my life" and my personal favorite "love is in the air." Ouch. That one actually hurt.

Kacie B. gets the first date ... it's a one-on-one, her second and the girls are JEALOUS. I think Ben likes her. They are going to rough it. A helicopter and camera crew take them out into the middle of nowhere on some island (this is so stupid, it is almost unbearable). So, Ben, Kacie, the producers, the helicopter crew, the camera crew and whoever else are trying to make it alone. He tells her to bring three things. She wisely brings a stuffed monkey, a corkscrew (I needed the wine), and some candy. He brings a machete, some matches and some wire or rope or something else to hang himself. Anyway, they cut down coconuts, catch a fish, build a fire ... and head back to the resort in the helicopter. A fancy dinner, some talking and Kacie gets a rose. "From one to wonderful, today was fantastic," gushes Kacie.

On the group date goes Courtney, Jamie, Emily, Nicki, Lindzi and Casey S. He shows up in a canoe on the river (by the way it has a motor ... it's not like he was paddling the damn thing), but the girls go on and on about how manly he is as they head downstream) and they just happen to come upon a village full of women in beaded bikini tops and men in loin cloths (who want to share their clothing with the new arrivals). Shockingly, the beaded tops won't completely cover enhancements, but Courtney doesn't care and she lets it all hang out. And, Ben, playing the village fool, wears the loin cloth. The other girls show more modesty and keep their own tops. Courtney wins this round because Village Idiot Ben can't keep away from Courtney. He appreciates that she got caught up in the spirit of the moment and the village dancing and all that. By the way, Ben should keep his clothes on. He spent maybe NO percent of time working out and getting in shape compared to previous bachelors. He is not a hot-bodied bachelor. So the girls should let the fake panting about his body go ... it doesn't play real.

Despite Courtney's nakedness, Ben shows the love to Lindzi and she gets the group date rose. Courtney is not distracted by that and still issues a room invite for the evening to Ben. He doesn't take her up on it, and we get a view of Courtney alone and sad in her room talking about how she's always been mistreated by men. Hmmmm Wonder why?

On the two-on-one date, it's a weird salsa dancing exhibition between Ben, Blakeley and Rachel that's a little too creepy for my taste. And it gets even creepier when Blakeley gets Ben alone and pulls out a scrapbook she's been making of her life with Ben ... what it's like, what it could be like. OK, stalker ... you are now going home. And, she does. The rose goes to Rachel.

OK, let's talk about two other strange "events" of this show.

The producers discovered that Casey S. may still be in love with an ex-boyfriend, and may not really be "completely there" for Ben. She may be using Ben to get over this ex. Wait a minute. Who cares? Don't they all have ex-relationships in their lives? And, by the way, didn't Ben just recently propose to a girl named Ashley so maybe he's the one using the show to get over someone? Whatever. Ben was rude to her, and they sent her home abruptly. And, Chris Harrison, what a loser. I got news for everyone. No one is there to find love. No one does. It's a show. It's about fame, fortune and winning. Get over yourselves.

And, Emily, trying to be nice to Courtney, apologized to her and told her maybe she had misjudged her. Courtney, because Emily and EVERYONE is right about her, immediately didn't forgive her and said something rude and acted crazy. So there. Ben, you get what you deserve.

Finally, in the most awkward moment ever on The Bachelor ... we got to see Jamie act out her sixth-grade fantasy moment with Ben, a play-by-play on how-to-kiss-someone-you-are-not-really-attracted-to-with-10-cameras-in-your-face. She couldn't let well enough alone and leave the show with some class and dignity with no one talking about what a fool she made of herself ... no, she had to get down in the mud with everyone else. Even Ben couldn't take it, and had to stop her.

No rose for Jamie.

More next week. However, I just want to say one thing. It seems like with every bachelor or bachelorette, I like them with they are a CONTESTANT and then I can't stand them when they become the bachelor or bachelorette. It always happens. I'm scared because the next bachelorette is Emily Maynard, and I'm afraid we will see her true colors. They are all playing a part. Some are just better at it than others.

The Bachelor 2012, Episode 5

2012-02-02T06:03:00.000-08:00

Ben and his girls are in Puerto Rico, and as one of my fellow employees pointed out, it is reminiscent of the final scene in “Silence of the Lambs” and as another pointed out, “Maybe Ben will eat Courtney.”

Unfortunately, it almost seemed the other way around.

The first date goes to Nicki, and they spend a rain-soaked day wandering the streets, then buying new clothes, and then an evening unburdening themselves of her lost marriage and his whatever. I had a hard time paying attention. She did get a rose.

Then, the group date was an invitation teasing that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” and it was actually a baseball diamond. They got to go through drills, then select teams then play a game with Ben as the pitcher. I was surprised that many of these girls are athletes … most of them. Not Casey S. Lindzi, thanks to Ben, got to play for both teams. That meant she got to go on an evening dinner date with Ben and the “winning team.” The losing team ended up in tears and cussing and lots and lots of blaming.

The other individual date when to the personal trainer, Elyse, and Ben wasn’t feeling it during dinner … so she went packing. The tears didn’t keep Ben from sending her home. “What did I do wrong?” … she asked. Why do women always ask that question? Like, somehow, if a man doesn’t like you, it is your fault. Maybe it is his fault. Maybe he isn’t worth the effort. Maybe there was no chemistry for either of you. Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe you are too strong, too nice, too virginal, too sweet, too smart, too ambitious, too hard-working, too pretty, too awesome for him!

Anyway, I will let that go.

Later in the evening, Courtney, unfortunately, caught Ben in a vulnerable moment (after the Elyse incident) and talked him into skinny-dipping. She didn’t tell the other girls. Neither did he. He later seemed to feel a little guilty about it and said that he and Courtney shared an “intimate moment” but he didn’t want it to keep it from remembering there were other girls around. Hmmmm …

Ben. Ben. Ben. You are a bad boy.

Courtney. Courtney. Courtney. We know what you are.

At the rose ceremony, I was hoping he might send her home and put all the spoilers to shame, but I’m worried that Ben might be an old-fashioned guy and feel he has to marry the girl he has done the deed with … so Jennifer got the boot.

We’ll see what happens. A short recap this week because I had a hard time watching this train wreck, and Ben is still boring me.

The Bachelor 2012, Weeks 2, 3, 4

2012-01-29T09:25:00.000-08:00

I'm have to admit. I just can't get into The Bachelor Ben this season. I picked it as a show to blog about and I've recorded every episode but, as my twisted version of the saying goes, I'm just not that into him. I'm not sure I care who "wins" or he "picks" or he ends up "engaged" to. The truth is that this way of finding love does not work. The statistics prove it, so I can't buy into that concept and all the "looking for love" crap. It's just a show with winners and losers. And, the winner will get her 15 minutes or 24 hours or a lifetime of .... fame for what that's worth. For "winning" a reality show. She won't find love. Ben needs to look elsewhere for his future wife.

So, because I'm a fail at blogging about this show, although I will try to during the next few episodes ... my friend, Matthew, is not. He's the one, for the love of his wife and her love of this show, created a "March Madness-type" game for the show each year where you can pick the winner. I must admit I'm pretty good at it, and have finished in the Top 5 each year, although I've yet to win. I won't win this year either, but I may again finish strong. I've heard through the spoilers that one of my least favorites is the winner ... so I'm pretty sure Ben and I are both going to be the losers this year.

Anyway, back to Matthew, he's a devoted husband and to entertain his wife and her friends ... he blogs about the show. Because he's done so, and I've been a fail ... I'm going to link you to his recaps ... until I can get back in the game.

Here they are:

http://wecreasmans.blogspot.com/2012/01/bachelor-2012-week-2.html

http://wecreasmans.blogspot.com/2012/01/bachelor-2012-week-3.html

http://wecreasmans.blogspot.com/2012/01/bachelor-2012-week-4.html

Thanks for checking out both our blogs!

The Bachelor 2012 (Episode 1)

2012-01-03T08:55:00.000-08:00

I'm going to keep my blogs about this show simple and formulaic ... just like every single episode of these shows. This year's bachelor, Ben Flajnik, is the runner up to Ashley Hebert's 2011 affections. He has 25 women to choose from to be the first Mrs. Flajnik ... since his awkward proposal to Ashley last season (isn't it weird how their "love" is in seasons ...?) was flatly rejected.

This year's future rejects include a girl with a hat, a girl with a grandma, a girl with a horse ... a blindfold, a rap, a poem, a joke, a soccer ball, a sash, a blog ... and every single one with an attitude. We immediately saw friction between Monica (who seems to like contestant Blakeley better than Ben) and Jenna, who is a crybaby not just looking for love but desperately looking for love. She's a blogger, too ... just like me. Only she's blogging about love and me ... I'm in it for people like her. Then we have the girls trying to make a statement ... bringing grandma (crutches and all) to prove that she cares about family, but I think it proves that she will even use her grandma to get attention (Brittney). Riding a horse in rather than the traditional limo (Lindzi). Wearing a hat to "symbolize" Kentucky (Holly).

We also have the girl who has been unlucky in love (Nicki), the loony toon (Lyndsie), the one with the sad story (Jamie), the girl with the child that means to the world to her (Shawn) ... I got news for Shawn and the producers ... She is not the only single mom out there! And, here's the big one, all moms love their kids! And the bitch, of course (Courtney).

That's some of the story lines just waiting to happen. It was pretty easy to see who was going home early.

The show began with us all having to relive the embarrassing proposal and rejection to and from Ashley. Then, Ben "contemplating" his life story at various places ... walking down a road, standing on a pier (I think), you know ... the way guys all think about lost love.

He meets the girls. Some seem really sweet right way, and others not so much ... I immediately liked Rachel, Emily, Nicki, Kacie and Lindzi. So did Ben, apparently, because they all made it through with Lindzi getting the "first impression" rose. Ben also seemed to like Courtney, the confident, bad girl, troublemaker model. If he ends up with this one at the end of this season, I will say we'll have a single Ben again down the road. Think Vienna and Jake.

Those that didn't get a rose ... were Lyndsie (the London loony ... I now know that just having an accent doesn't help you at all); Holly (girl with the hat from Kentucky); Amber B. (nothing remarkable); Anna (we saw her for about two seconds as she walked right by Ben ... we now know it's not the best move); Shira (the actress who dared Ben to "ask me anything about wine" and then proved to Ben that she didn't know a damn thing about wine): Diana (the tongue-tied girl with the blindfold); and finally, Amber T. ... she was a gun-toting farm girl but very pretty ... I was surprised he let her go so early.

More next week as the women pout and whine and backstab for the attention of the winemaker.

New Year's Eve Eve Reality TV Likes and Loathes

2011-12-30T07:09:00.000-08:00

I've been blogging about reality TV for awhile now, and there are some shows I've come to accept, others I love, and others I loathe. One of my New Year's resolutions (I have plenty) is to only watch those shows I halfway enjoy and leave the others to the masses. I'm probably going to blog about "The Bachelor" because, once again, a guy in my office is coordinating our annual "Bachelor game" where we try to pick the winner. I'll probably still blog about brides, and I'm looking for a new show or two. Send me your suggestions.

To end this year with a whimper and a cry of "uncle, uncle" ... I'm going to list the shows I loathe and wish would go away, and the shows I love ... and may continue to actually watch.

Top 10 Reality Shows I Loathe
1. Anything with a Kardashian - This is too easy. Everyone dislikes them yet they are still on TV. If I see them on E, I change the channel. I won't buy a magazine with one of them on the cover. I can't see how they offer any redeeming value to society, and I won't encourage it. I hate that I'm even mentioning them here.
2. Anything with a "wife" - Basketball wives, housewives, mob wives ... I don't care whose wife you are or have been or want to be ... no one I know or have ever known acts like these women. It's simply a screaming match on every episode. I used to watch "a little" but now I don't watch at all. It's not entertaining to see women scream at each other. It just gives me a headache.
3. Anything with a makeover or Ty Pennington - These just bore me to tears.
4. Toddlers and Tiaras - I don't want to watch these ridiculous women living vicariously through their children. I am not going to encourage television that, in some cases, almost promotes or shows child abuse. These women need to get their own lives and let their kids be kids. It's not about you, moms.
5. Dance Moms - That lady that leads the dance classes or owns the studio or whatever is abhorrent. I wouldn't put my daughter through that no matter how "good" of a dance teacher she is ... she doesn't understand children and is just plain rude to the moms and the kids. She needs to take a few dance classes herself instead of barking at everyone around her. Watched an episode or two. Won't do it again. Again, moms, get your own lives.
6. The Real World - I hope hope hope these kids don't act like this in their "real" lives. I'm worried they will never find jobs after they leave the show. I got news for them ... reality TV is not a job, it's trash entertainment. Don't do this to your lives.
7. Wife Swap and Trading Spouses - Really, really? This is just stupid. It always starts the same and always ends the same with everyone learning something. Maybe.
8. Celebrity Rehab - I actually can't watch this. After a few minutes, I have to change the channel. I can't stand to see these former "celebrities" suffering and the world watching and drooling just hoping to see meltdowns and screw-ups and bad behavior. I feel sorry for these people.
9. Big Brother - I will probably get some hate mail over this one. I think this show is boring.
10. Survivor - It has run its course. Thanks for the memories. Now, go away.

Top 10 Reality TV Shows I Love
1. House Hunters - This may not be exactly what people think of when they think of "reality" TV but I like to see houses in other parts of the country and world. I like to see the prices. I like to see why people move. I just like it all.
2. American Idol - I'm still a fan no matter who the judges are at any given time (although I am not always a fan of some of the judges). I actually like Ryan Seacrest.
3. Hoarders - I don't really like to see how these people are living since it is so depressing, but I like to see that they are getting help. And, I know there is a difference between being messy and having a mental disorder ... it's pretty easy to see the difference if you watch the show.
4. Intervention - Again, it's hard to watch sometimes, but I like the stories with the happy endings.
5. Bridezillas - Pure trash TV, but I love it. I will continue to blog about it.
6. Say Yes to the Dress - Again, love the brides and the dresses. I love Randy and most of the consultants. I just want to visit Kleinfeld's some day. One of my many stupid goals.
7. True Life - This show is about young people who live a certain way, want something or are struggling with something. I like to see how they handle the issues. It seems "real" to me.
8. The Bachelor and The Bachelorette - It's pure stupidity. This is not how you find love. The relationships don't last. It's just entertaining and ridiculous.
9. Sister Wives - I'm not crazy about Kody, but I like his wives just fine. They really seem like normal people except the women share the same husband. Doesn't make sense to me but to each his own. Sometimes this show is boring because they are so normal.
10. The Biggest Loser and Fat Camp - Losing weight is not easy. These people are really trying and letting everyone watch. I think it would be hard, so I appreciate them. I don't watch these shows much, but I actually think they can be encouraging to others.

So there they are. I'm probably forgetting a few. My Honorable Mentions that I couldn't decide if I loathe them or just tolerate them or maybe like them just a little include: Jersey Shore (I am not going to blog about it anymore but this show is insane), Relationship Rehab, Celebrity Fit Club, Scare Tactics, Cheaters (no, I really hate this show), Fear Factor and The Apprentice. For shows I like, Honorable Mentions include: Storage Wars, Parking Wars ... (pretty much any wars) ... The Amazing Race, Boiling Points and The A List.

So, is blogging about reality shows fun? Yes, but with work and kids and life, it's hard to watch the shows I need to watch and hard to do it as often as I would like. Do I hear from those I blog about? Yes, some are cranky ... but the "bridezillas" have all been great. That should tell you something.

Your turn. Tell me. Tell me. I want to hear from you. Happy New Year!

Sister Wives — Season 2011 Recap

2011-11-30T10:46:00.001-08:00

Sister Wives — the Brown family that we love to hate.

Although I didn't blog about them regularly this season, I did watch an all-day marathon of this show this past weekend. Don't make fun. The marathon led up to the finale where Wife No. 4, Robyn, gives birth to a baby boy, Solomon, and then ... weirdly, offers herself as a surrogate to Wife No. 1, Meri, who only has one child. Don't they have enough relationship dynamics between them without the added stress of surrogacy?

Anyway, this season was about Kody living in and traveling from house to house in their new home-way-from-home ... SIN CITY, BABY ... Las Vegas. Doesn't seem an appropriate place for this "spiritual" family. The kids aren't happy, and the wives don't particularly like living so far apart (in Utah, they shared a home so the women saw Kody on a daily basis). And, they are trying to start a business ... and I think they've settled on fitness or a gym or something? (Not sure how they are making money now unless it's through appearances and the show or something related to the show.)

So, if they have settled on fitness, they have to get in shape. All the wives are now dieting or "eating healthy" and working with a hunky trainer. Wife No. 3, Christine, seems to really, really like him. Wife No. 2, Janelle (my favorite), is the most focused and admits she has the most weight to lose. I will give them all credit for openly sharing their struggles with weight for the world to see. Gutsy.

So, a new town, new homes, new business and a new baby. It's all about the "newness" this season. Oh, and one other thing, a little jealousy of the new "pretty" wife, Robyn. She's a little thinner, a little younger. The wives may not feel so special with her in the mix. Christine expresses her feelings of "not being special" anymore. Anymore?

In one episode, the women hit the town ... and then Kody does the same with a few buddies. BORING. This group does not know how to party. The women are shocked by the nakedness of Vegas. Really? Kody enjoys the sights ... he kinda said so.

Enough already. The season was not that exciting. It was like watching my neighbors. Nothing shocking or scary or sad. Just a normal family with normal issues.

Do I like the adults of this family (no judging children allowed)? Yes, I think I do. They are all nice people, very normal people is some ways. Do I understand or like their lifestyle choice? No. And, it's not a moral or ethical thing with me. Families today are so diverse ... nothing is surprising. And, I'm definitely a "to each his own" kind of person. If it makes you happy and doesn't hurt anyone, I'm fine with it. It's not a legal consideration for me either. I don't believe they are breaking the law. Kody is only legally married to Meri, so if the other three want to be his "wives" that is their choice. It's not a problem for me.

So why don't I like the plural wives concept? I, personally, would not want to share my spouse or partner with someone else. It isn't special if it's not just between two people. If he has a relationship with other women, you are not the "soulmate" or the only one or the chosen one or the wife or anything. You aren't the most special woman in his life. You never really know how he feels. Is he telling one of the others that she is the "one" or is he telling all the wives the same BS? Kody would say he has separate relationships with each wife. There's something that doesn't ring true there for me. Why does he want or need so many wives? Why do they want to share their husband?

As a woman, I feel like I deserve to have a man that loves me and only me. I want to feel special. I think the sister wives deserve that, too.

I know I can't love but one man. Obviously, the sister wives can't either. Can men really love more than one woman? Are men different? Does Kody really love them equally? Or is there one that really has his heart, and the rest are along to soothe his massive ego?

Bridezillas - "Cristal & Johanne"

2011-11-27T20:03:00.001-08:00

I'm so behind. I haven't been "reality" blogging. I'm looking for a new show to blog about while Bridezillas is on hiatus ... any suggestions?

Cristal
Cristal, 24, is engaged to marry the meek and mild Adam, 22, in Milwaukee, WI. Theirs is a high school romance that is still going and going ... She wears the pants in the family and admits that he might be the only person that can "stand" her. She shows high levels of "emotional instability" ... that's a quote.

She's abusive to those who are working to help her, to her man, to her friends, to her family. While at a bar, there is an incident where a guy insults her and calls her a cow, and possibly a few other things. She throws a drink on someone because of this ... not sure it's the name caller, but she doesn't really care. Somebody had to pay. The sad thing is that her fiance was along for the ride and never said a word. What a wimp. She's no angel, but you hope the man you are marrying will defend you no matter what. She flirts with his brother ... nothing from Adam. She's called a cow. Nothing from Adam.

These two should both move on. But, instead, there is a wedding. They have made it this long, maybe it's a match. Best wishes.

Johanne
The bridezilla to end all bridezillas, Johanne, is simply waiting for her man, Ed, to marry her or leave her. Surprisingly, he does the first although he may be looking for a lawyer these days after getting a look at the footage from the show. She's a cheater and a liar. She's rude to Ed, her sister, her mom, her friends, and pretty much everyone who comes in contact with her.

She's not in love with Ed, and I think she believes she is "settling" although that is more true for him. Ed, you can do better. I'm wondering what has become of their relationship? I'm wondering if her "act" was all for the show ... and for Ed's sake, I hope so ... although I'm not sure any normal person would participate in a threesome just to get ratings ... and risk their one real relationship. If she did, she's one of a kind.

Good luck to Ed.

More next season about Bridezillas. I may do a blog or two on Sister Wives this week ... the season is over, but I think a recap might be nice.

Bridezillas - "Daphne & Johanne"

2011-11-02T18:47:00.000-07:00

Johanne
I've been delaying the inevitable. Writing about Johanne. For two days, I didn't want to think about her. I feel dirty just putting her name on my blog. I said she was the "worst" in my last blog, but she has taken me to new low levels. She was hard to watch, and even harder to understand.

Anyway, she's picking up tuxedos with her brother. She doesn't like the color she chose so it's a redo. In the next scene, she's misplaced her tiara for her wedding. She's searching everywhere through mounds and piles of junk and clothes and crap. She should be on one of those hoarder or messy homes shows. Her place is a wreck. She never finds the tiara, but nobody could find anything in that trash heap. She wants to call off her wedding because of the missing headpiece. There's so so many reasons to call off this divorce-in-waiting that I'm all for it. Because of the tiara? Let's do it. Run for your life, Ed. Please. You will wish you had after you see what happens next ...

Johanne goes on a date (I SAID IT, YES, A DATE) with a friend. Not Ed, her fiance, but some random friend. She meets him at a bar, they drink a little and on the way out the door, he asks her if she wants to come by his place. She asks if the KIDS are there. No, thank God. What about his chick? Yes, she's there. Is that cool? Yes, that's cool. I had to rewind this scene a few times to make sure I understand that he's actually taking someone home from a date to his home and his girlfriend. It wasn't a bad dream. And, if that wasn't bad enough ... Johanne is looking forward to meeting his girlfriend because "she's cute." Then, she's at the house, the girls take a spin on the stripper pole and, SURPRISE, they all end up laughing and playing kissy face on the bed. Lights out. Cameras gone.

Poor, poor Ed. RUN, ED, RUN.

Johanne admits she's not sure she's in love with Ed. I'm pretty damn sure she is not even if she is "iffy" about it. This girl is the WORST. More of her next week. Hopefully, there won't be a wedding.

Daphne
After Johanne, Daphne looks like a little sweet princess when she is really a whiny, spoiled, pouty little brat. Daphne, 20, is marrying Drew, 28, in Parsons, South Dakota, although they both live in Georgia. It's a wedding by proxy. Others will have to make it happen.

She can't decide on the theme. We have a rainbow-colored cake, Asian-themed bridesmaid gowns, a taste of the military (she served, thank you Daphne) party theme. Doesn't really make sense.

Daphe has changed the "flavor" of her wedding cake and color of her wedding cake at least a dozen times, and that's why she's ended up with the rainbow effect. By the way, she likes cakes but hates doughnuts. Her fiancee loves doughnuts. She hates them so much that she forces him to eat all the doughnuts at once that he bought when she wasn't looking. She obviously doesn't understand that this is NOT a punishment for a doughnut lover.

She's one of the few brides that gets mad at her friends rather than the hairstylist at her "hair trial." I was mad at them both. The friend was critical, and Daphne overreacted ... so after a thrown comb and a shove, the bridesmaid is out the door. Then, the dress. It's half a dress she picked out, and it's half of her mother's dress. Put it all together and you have a "frankendress." Loved that reference, so I stole it from the show. It's a hot mess and doesn't fit.

It's time to decorate for the big day. So, for her Asian-Military-Rainbow-themed wedding in what looks like an abandoned building, Daphne purchases STREAMERS. Who uses streamers at an Asian-Military-Rainbow-themed wedding? And the streamers are orange and blue, which really doesn't go with the red, white and blue AND rainbow color palette.

The wedding goes on streamers and fold-out chairs and all. But, Drew's parents do not show. They don't approve of the match so they have boycotted the event. I felt sorry for Daphne. She's not that bad. His parents should be thankful she is not Johanne.

Jersey Shore Finale ... Goodbye Italia!

2011-11-02T10:33:00.000-07:00

I’m glad it’s over. And, I think the Jersey Shore gang would agree that their season of pasta and pesto was more internal drama than outside shenanigans. The season ended not with a bang (no pun intended), but with a whimper and a tour. Boring for them and everyone watching.

They partied one last time, cooked together one last time, packed their ludicrous amount of suitcases one last time and said goodbye one last time … until next season when they are back at the Jersey Shore.

They missed the simpler, more sinful times in America. Italy didn’t have the women, the raunchiness, or the "love fest" with them that they have grown accustomed to in Jersey … they looked to each other for entertainment this season. The men were so scarce in Italy that the girls (and I mean the two meatballs .. Deena and Snooki) hooked up with other or tried to “snuggle” with the guys in the house. Snooki got lucky. Deena got kicked out of bed. The guys just gave up.

Jenni quickly became my favorite … serving as a mom and a mentor to the others. She didn’t do anything stupid or raunchy or ridiculous. Deena remains my least favorite … this girl is lewd and just plain vulgar. The rest fall somewhere in between for me. Snooki and Mike are entertaining. Sammi and Ronnie were not fighting so I have to give them kudos for that, and Vinnie and Pauly D are always the same … these guys never change their clothing style, their hair, their words … but I warn them that everything goes out of style so their time is coming.

Goodbye gang. It’s been awkward. I know several things now:

I’m too old to watch this stuff.
Most people do not act this way.
What was once entertaining is now just offensive.
I still love reality TV but not this show. They have become stale.
I hate fake tans and fake hair.
I'm glad I was a teenager and a 20-something in a different time.
Short short skirts don't really look that good on anyone.
It IS hard to walk in high heels.
Don't let someone film you when you are drinking.
Men really do "treat them like they meet them" so girls, please remember that.

Jersey Shore "Situation Problems"

2011-10-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

I'm ending my blogging on the "Jersey Shore" after this season ... one more show to watch. Hopefully, I will be able to keep up with my blogging with fewer shows and the reality TV that I continue to find interesting. I no longer find these Peter Pan wannabes interesting. The Jersey Shore gang needs to grow up. I'm not going to encourage the continuation of this show by blogging about it anymore ... But to be fair, they have entertained me. They are so far from me and from my life ... that it's been an education. I hope they are the exception and not the rule. My children (who are 21 and 18) say they do not know anybody who behaves the way the Jersey gang behaves, so I take that as a good sign.

Having said that, I will give Jenni credit. I follow her on Twitter. I think she is the only one who has actually grown up. I would never have believed it by watching the first few seasons. But I think love has changed her. I'm glad for her.

Back to the show. Surprise Surprise. Jionni doesn't like Snooki sleeping with other guys! I think he's OK with other girls after the Deena escapades. He seems to want to break up with her. She's crying. I can't tell if they are a couple or not.

Deena, ugh, wants to sleep with Pauly D. He shows his smarts by dodging her at every turn and twist. This guy wants no part of that. So, while they are at the club, he's desperately trying to find a girl to bring home. He strikes out.

Thank goodness, Deena and Snooki aren't ready to go home with the rest of the gang so Pauly D doesn't have to sleep with his eyes wide open. Deena and Snooki head to another club where they are harassed and even THE BARTENDER wants them gone. He throws ice at them, so they rip apart his bar. Out they go.

Sam and Jenni are getting along great and Deena and Snooki are drinking along great. After a sleepless night, they head out drinking again in the morning and fall asleep in a bar. Out they go.

Mike keeps causing problems because he is a drama queen. He angers people at every bar he goes to, tries to start fights between the roommates, and is just being a pain in everyone's tanned rears. The group makes it clear that they don't care if comes to Jersey for next season. I hope not. Someone younger!

They have their last Sunday dinner with Jenni and Sam cooking. There's a little arguing ALREADY about the Jersey shore house because no one wants to share a room with Mike. Vinnie thinks he should get what he wants. Sam wants some "compromisation." I think I know what she meant. We'll see.

One more episode. Sorry I'm behind.

Bridezillas - "Tifani & Johanne"

2011-10-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

Tifani
One of the groomsmen, poor unsuspecting Marcus, did the unthinkable and missed his tux fitting. Tifani doesn't forgive or forget or nothing ... he's going to pay. So, she decides to reward him with a pan full of brownies laced with laxatives. She enlists the help of a friend for this dirty deed. They make the tasty treat, put them in the oven and promptly forget as they head to do errands. Luckily for Tifani, her mom is at her beck and call and gets the brownies from the oven for her. One problem. Mom has a sweet tooth and takes a few of the brownies for herself and Brandi (I'm guessing Tifani's sister). Tifani confesses and once again, she's lucky that mom has a sense of humor.

Later, she delivers the laxative-laced snack to her intended target.He has a bite or two and when he tries to share the brownies, Tifani doesn't like it. He's a smart guy and now he no longer wants to eat the brownies. Bathroom visit averted.

There is not a groomsman nor bridesmaid within a 10-mile radius of Tifani who doesn't get a beat down. Next to feel the heat is Jonathan's cousin. She doesn't like him and doesn't want him at her wedding so she pushes and punches to get her message across.

Then there's the rehearsal and, after that, the rehearsal dinner. Problem is ... no one wants to be around Tifani and she finds herself stranded at the wedding locale. Her mom sends someone to pick her up, and when she finally gets to the dinner, she is maaaaddd at Jonathan. He plays dumb (What? You were supposed to ride with me?) but then admits he left her there on purpose. "She was getting on my nerves." Gotta like this guy.

Wedding day arrives. She's drinking and getting ready. Jonathan is late. Will he show? He does. At the ceremony, she says a few sweet words to him and he responds appropriately with "I really love you a lot."

Johanne
Just when you think you have seen it all on Bridezillas, and the worst is past you and the brides can't get any skankier or meaner or crankier ... they introduce Johanne.

Tattooed from head to toe (although that is what I like best about her), is 34-year-old Joanne, who is scheduled to marry the long-suffering (I don't understand this guy) 43-year-old Ed. If I heard right, they met in the military and, according to him, it was love at first sight. According to her, he's not all that. She claims she usually likes to date the "everybody wants to be with him" type of guy and poor Ed is just the opposite. Those are her words. She admits she agreed to marry him because she wants a wedding. And, for one more reason, because no matter how bad she treats him, no matter how many times she cheats on him ... he takes it. This guy is something else. Or she is.

Johanne heads to a pawn shop to buy him a cheap ring. His reward for marrying her. She cries broke and only spends $200 for his ring. Then, something catches her eye. A ring for herself! That one is $2,400 and, yes, she shells out the cash.

But the worst is yet to come. She wants Ed to get a tattoo that she has picked out while she gets a tattoo at the same time. He's blindfolded and she chooses a tattoo for him that reads "Property of Joanne" with big red lips. Her tattoo is on the inside of her thigh and declares the truth ... 100 % Certifiable. While her fiance is blindfolded and being branded, she is flirting, scheduling a date (yes A DATE) with and kissing (yes KISSING) the tattoo artist on her side of the wall. Ed sadly says, "Getting the tattoo wasn't painful. Listening to the sexual banter from my wife really hurt."

Poor Ed. I'm wondering if this wedding will happen.We'll see next week.

Bridezillas - "Kera & Tifani"

2011-10-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

Tifani
Tifani, 27, and her music-producer-wannbe fiance Jonathan, also 27, live and work in Shreveport, Louisiana, and that is where they will be married. They have been together 12 years ... and they met in high school. They have one child and lots of stories to tell on each other. He cheated on her then she cheated on him and now that that is out of the way, it's time to get married.

At a fitting for her bridal gown, Tifani doesn't want to put it on because the more she tries on her wedding dress, the less she likes it. So, it makes sense for her bridesmaid, Tisha, who is a different size, to try it on. Tifani insists. It doesn't fit. She still won't try on her dress. The seamstress will have to make do. This bridezilla will not change her mind or her clothes.

Then, Tisha still in tow, they head to the wedding site to check out the chandeliers that will line the rows of her outside wedding. However, there are only two. Tifani asks Tisha what she thinks and then doesn't like the truth! Tisha thinks she needs a few more fixtures, and thinks red candles might be nice. Red candles? Tifani thinks Tisha is off her rocker if she thinks candles would look good in a "chandelier" made for candles. Flowers! Tifani wants flowers in the stupid thing.

Because Tifani is on a budget, her mom is serving as the caterer. Tifani still insists on a taste test and her mom feeds her from a pan of "dirty rice." When Tifani and her mom start working on the dining budget, Tifani starts eliminating things to save money ... the beef in the rice, the salad, the plates? Pretty soon she doesn't even want to serve the guests food. Then, with mom's encouragement, she makes some comment about using her "food stamp" card for food. I'm pretty sure those are not meant to pay the catering budget.

Money. Money. Money. Tifani wants a fancy glam wedding, but in no way does she want to pay for it. Next to feel her penny-pinching ways is Shana, the friend and videographer, who wants a measly $75 for her trouble. Shana admits she was going to do it for free, and make Tifani sweat a little, until Tifani starts berating her for choosing to pay other bills vs. paying for a bridesmaid dress. So, now she pays Shana, too.

Kera
It's drama for Kera when she and her crew head to the bridal shop for the wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses and they aren't ready ... and they leave for the wedding the next day. She practically threatens the poor little elderly seamstress who begins hemming for her life. Literally. Then Kera cries and pouts and has a little fit. She keeps crying even though things are going her way. Wait ... is she doing this for the cameras?

At Kera's bachelorette party, her MOM wants to buy her a lap dance. Really mom? Next day, karma hits the inappropriate mom and her car breaks down on the way to the Vegas nuptials. Kera don't care. She heads on without her. After she is in Vegas, the party starts again.

On her wedding day, Kera is beautified by the Treasure Island hair stylist and makeup artist, and Kera is happy with the results. Married finally in the casino chapel ... they promise lots of love to each other and no kids just yet. They need to grow up first.

Bridezillas - Kim & Kera

2011-10-18T17:17:00.000-07:00

Kim
The wrath of Kim knows no bounds. One of her bridesmaids shows up (after the water on the head in the bed incident ... see previous blog), and Kim literally starts pushing her around. Monique had the nerve to miss a dress fitting for Kim's "one time deal." Really? THIS IS A RENEWAL OF VOWS. NOT A REAL WEDDING.

Kim does not like gum chewing. Do not chew gum around this girl. You will get a smack down. She left one of her bridesmaids on the side of the road for chewing gum.

This is the "Kim Show" ... her words, not mine. Everyone else is an extra. In her twisted analogy, "If Julia Roberts did a movie and all the extras quit, it would still be a great movie because she is Julia Roberts." OK. However, Julia Roberts would probably not want everyone to quit or treat everyone rudely because she doesn't want people to think she is a diva or hateful or difficult to be around. It would hurt her professional and personal life. Kim is no Julia Roberts.

When Kim's mom finally intervenes because everyone is complaining about Kim, even she caves to Kim and asks everyone to help Kim out for her "wedding" RENEWAL. I added that last part.

On Kim's wedding day, the hair stylist is no where to be found. Good idea. Kim is doing hair herself. She is so stressed she kicks the camera crew out.

Finally, the vows are renewed and the bride is wearing white. Really?

Kera
Kera, 23, and her fiance, Jason, 26, are from Bakersfield, California, but are getting married at the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas. They are a modern couple and met on Myspace. She liked his huge muscles because it definitely wasn't his huge brain.When asked by producers to think of ONE THING he likes about her or sets her apart or makes her special, he can't even speak. He can barely remember his own name.

Kera and her mother and her maid-of-honor, Bre, go shopping for trinkets and stuff for the wedding, and Kera insists her maid of honor fork out the money. Bre's not happy, but she does it anyway.

At her make-up trial, Kera ends up in tears because her make-up doesn't look exactly like Christina Aguilera's make-up in Burlesque. Yes, that movie. Then she thinks her face looks fat. Not the make-up's fault. (This girl is thin, by the way.)

Later, it's time to make party favors or something, but Kera has the attention span of a gnat so she's bored in 15 minutes. She's taking a nap, and she wants everyone else to work. She and Bre get into it, and Bre storms out. Kera has to chase her down and, hopefully, apologize, but she won't do it in front of the cameras.

More on Kera in the next blog. I will try to catch up by tomorrow. I am so behind ...