Fibromyalgia & Me

OH THE PAIN, THE PAIN!

2011-01-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

To quote Dr. Smith from Lost in Space: “Oh the pain!” Speaking of space, I wonder if you feel less pain in space. Does gravity affect Fibromyalgia pain? It would nice to be weightless, just floating around in space. I might get awfully bored though. But I digress; let’s get back to Dr. Smith. Poor fellow, he was always saying, “Oh the pain!” We all know from the way he acted, he was just pretending. At least I like to think he was. I wonder how he would handle pain from Fibromyalgia, probably not very well, not very well at all.

I told myself when I started this blog that I would remain positive and upbeat. I have tried to find humor in most situations. There are some days and nights that can just wear on a person though. Take for example the other night. So desperate I was for relief, I took additional muscle relaxers and sleep aids. I do not advocate this type of behavior normally. I usually follow my prescription directions. The muscle relaxers were herbal though and the sleep aid is a minimum dosage. I knew in the back of my head it wouldn’t work anyway. I knew I was experiencing BTP (breakthrough pain) and nothing helps that. After 6 hours of tossing and turning, moaning and groaning, I finally slept for a couple of hours. I was tired, it wasn’t that. I just couldn’t stop hurting. The pain was everywhere. I knew the weather would be changing, it always does. A low pressure system was moving in and my pain tolerance was moving out.

I was fortunate enough to have the day off and met with a friend of mine for breakfast the following morning. My friend and her husband both have Fibromyalgia. We were discussing the lack of sleep from the previous night and she said to me; “You figure it’s the low pressure system?” BINGO! Give that woman a cigar!

Spot on she was, but what I can’t figure out though, is why does it affect Fibromyalgia? Are the connective tissues that sensitive, or is it the nerves that are that sensitive? I just know that hurts like the dickens. Nothing helps. Heating pads are useless; pain medications have no affect, not even my precious Lyrica. Heck, even laying in bed hurts. Don’t even think about touching me. I don’t know about you, but in a way I feel trapped when this happens. I do not have control over my body and what it is doing. I want to scream and cry out from the pain, pain that lasts for hours even days sometimes, bound by shackles limiting my every movement. If you look at me, I look fine, just a little tired maybe. You would not know I have Fibromyalgia on most days.

Having lunch with my friend did me good as we sat and caught up with each other. It’s nice to know that you don’t suffer the pain alone. After a few errands, I was able to go home and get some much needed sleep. Pain can be exhausting when it lasts for hours on end. I might like try a zero gravity atmosphere someday, but I don’t think I would survive the launch. I have this feeling that G’s you pull in a blast off would be excruciating.

Ah well, so much for my space career. Maybe I’ll just keep looking out my telescope at the stars and galaxies dreaming of the day I will weightless and pain free. Maybe I should think over that possibility that maybe Dr. Smith was suffering Fibromyalgia or BTP. For now, I’ll try to catch up on my rest and get ready for the next low pressure system that moves in.

Happy Trails

2011-01-19T18:55:00.000-08:00

Surviving the winter while being trapped in a cold with a cough and a fever can be difficult. Sometimes, I swear I want to run and jump into a snowdrift. Ah well….it is winter time after all. How does one survive? I take my cold medicine, cough a little more, wrap up in a warm blanket and drink plenty of liquids to keep me hydrated. Keeping hydrated is hard for me as I tend to forget to drink. (Must be that darn fibro fog again!) No television for me. I prefer to use my mind; I think I will just read.

My love of reading began at an early age and I still like to read. I remember sneaking down the stairs in grade school and climbing onto the small 10” ledge that served as a bookshelf. I would grab the red leather bound books belonging to my parents that were their childhood books while growing up. The books had come from my paternal grandfather. He was a great believer in knowledge. He was the 7^th son of a 7^th son, able to read and write in 5 languages. The eight book series called Book Trails were first published in 1928 and full of big words, wonderful pictures, fairies, adventures, poems and more. Words were often spelled in the Olde English style. By that I mean, potato as we know it now was spelled potatoe in the books. Both renditions are technically correct. Little did I know it was helping to educate me. I would sneak out of bed and grab a book from the series and read it by the light coming from the floor vent. Just enough light to read by when the downstairs lights were on.

I confessed my transgressions of getting out bed and disobeying my parents just a few years ago. I was informed it was too late; they knew all along I was sneaking out of bed and reading. They let me do it only because I was learning mind you, not getting into any trouble or keeping my brothers or sister awake. This is where my love of reading began. Whether I travel with The Fellowship of the Ring through the Mines of Moria while being chased by a balrog of Morgoth, traveling though time in a Time Machine powered by H.G. Wells, cheering for the residents of Redwall as they vanquish another fell beast while fighting to preserve their dwelling and ways of life, accompanying John Carter of Mars in his Barsoom adventures, flying in a wooden airship to Overland with The Ragged Astronauts, or in a galaxy created by George Lucas far, far, away involved in a Star Wars, falling through the rabbit hole with Alice in Wonderland, or solving a Murder Most Frothy with Claire Cosi leading the way.

While typing this, I have noticed a theme to my readings; adventure, heroic tales, and good conquering evil. I guess it makes me an armchair adventurer. That’s okay though. I can’t do as much as I would like to do or I used to do because of the Fibromyalgia. Every winter the pain increases and I force myself to do things that are sometimes beyond my capability. When I do that, I pay for it in the end with aches and pains. I get through those times and most other times by escaping the world. Reading is my escape from the hum drum world and it keeps my mind occupied while fending off pain. Maybe it’s a coward’s way out of not dealing with things too, I am not sure, but I do know that it helps me to fall asleep by keeping my mind busy and off of the pain.

Tonight, I think I will pull out an old friend: a book that is familiar to me and has been with me my entire life, Book Trails to Enchanted Lands. I feel the need for adventure with this cough and cold. A short story as I have a short attention span tonight. Who knows, maybe it give me a smile and warm happy thoughts to fall asleep to. Happy trails everyone. I’ll be back when the fibro fog clears.

Bring Out The Fur

2011-01-11T21:12:00.000-08:00

Caution:
Not for the weight conscious.

Do you suppose women in Siberia or Alaska wear fur lined bras? It gets really, really, really cold there. Eskimos wear fur all the time. I mean at least I think they do, I would if I lived in the frozen tundra area.

It was about 10 degrees outside the other night when I decided to shower and get ready for bed. What a time for the furnace to go out. Oh, did I mention the hot water heater is connected to the furnace? Bummer. So after checking the thermostats, gas and breakers and not finding anything wrong, I called a repairman. “Sure lady, I’ll be out, but the diagnostic fee alone is $130.00.” I replied: “I don’t care, I have no heat!!! AND BESIDES, IT’S UNDER WARRANTY!” Well, he traipsed on over an hour later and checked it out. Of course he found 2 possible code problems which means he didn’t carry parts with him, he would back tomorrow if he didn’t have to order the parts. Oh how lovely.

Yes, this is Faux fur. No animals were
harmed in this picture

Good thing we had 2 small space heaters in the basement and a fireplace. At least I had them going before the repairman came. Of course the fireplace is no where near the bedrooms and you couldn’t place the space heaters in the bedrooms because you needed to keep the pipes from freezing. So….we concentrated the heat in the bathroom and kitchen areas. After shooing everyone off to bed and tending the fire until 7 a.m., I felt I really needed to sleep.

Piling up layers of blankets helped to keep the warmth in. As always, I have a down pillow and comforter to rely on. Needless to say, this was not the time to sleep naked or half dressed, so I jumped into bed covered from head to toe and pulled the comforter, quilt and blanket up. Sadly, I thought it would be warmer if I were working for Scrooge just then. But I digress….I wouldn’t have to see Scrooge until the following day and I should be warmed up by then.

Trying to get warm enough to fall asleep, I began thinking of Eskimos. I wondered did they wear fur lined underwear. I don’t think I could handle the frozen tundra unless I had some. So I made sure I had my makeshift sock puppets on and burrowed even further under the plethora of blankets. Warm thoughts, warm thoughts, think of warm thoughts I kept telling myself. So I thought of myself living in medieval times and having a bed with plush velvet curtains surrounding the bed to keep out the cold. A bed piled high with soft, warm furs in a room with a ginormous roaring fireplace. Of course, the servants would have just removed the hot bath from my room. It would have been a huge tub with hot stones added to the water hot and rose petals and lavender to scent the water. Hey, if you’re gonna dream, you may as well dream big.

Surprisingly these warm thoughts worked to keep me warm. Every time I awoke I just snuggled down deeper into the warmth of my imaginary fur bedding. I have to say, I absolutely and totally forgot about the heating pad I owned! (Must have been the fibro fog.) Even as cold as it got, I was able to keep my fibromyalgia pain at bay. I felt cold all day the next day until the following morning. The repairman came back with the parts the next afternoon and we were able to have nice toasty rooms by bedtime. So on these cold winter nights that we have ahead of us, I will keep using my imaginary fur bedding to help comfort me and keep me warm.

I just might have to pursue the fur bra idea. You never know when you could be stranded in a meat locker or Siberia. I bet Mrs. Claus has one hidden under her dress and apron. So let’s stay warm out there and think warm furry happy thoughts!

There are several Canadian and American
fur bra liner manufacturers.

P.S. I just checked on line and they do make fur bra liners. I just might have to buy me some!

To cat nap or not to cat nap....

2011-01-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

To cat nap or not to cat nap, that is the question.

Hey, I am all for cat napping, especially on a cold and chilly day. House cats have it way too easy anyway. They can sleep wherever, whenever they want…..without interruption. I am jealous really. They have fur to keep them warm. They get lots of loving and when they hiss, people leave them alone!

Think about it. What other animal can get away with trying to hide behind something too big. They think because they can’t see you, you can’t see them. Ha! You and both know we can see their fuzzy little tails swishing from the thrill of game hide and seek. Peeking their heads around table legs and batting miniscule things floating in the air. They can pretend they don’t hear you or see you. You are there to serve them. And don’t forget the catnip! I haven’t seen a cat that can pass up catnip. It’s like me and chocolate. Only thing is, I don’t play with my chocolate. I devour it. I may as well roll around in it as much as I love it, but play with it? Never.

I think he wanted to devour it, but decided to catnap instead.

All that catnip (chocolate) leads me back to cat naps. I mean, after all that playing and getting high on catnip, chasing a little mouse around; you need to take a little cat nap. It’s the same for me. After doing laundry, the dishes, canning pickles, cooking supper, going shopping, shoveling snow and having a previous night of little to no sleep, I need a cat nap. Just a little nap…..not much. If I take it early enough, it won’t interfere with my sleep. But alas, after dreaming most of the day of just catching a little warmth and a little shut eye I was too late. It’s now time for bed and I am ready for it. Okay, I was ready for bed 2 hours ago, but that would have been way too early to retire for the evening.

Tonight, I vow to sleep like a cat. Stretched out with my legs splayed and belly up for all the world to see. I won’t wake up for anyone, no matter how much I purr, stretch, and get my tummy rubbed or tickled. I’m just going to lay there and enjoy it like a cat! I will glory in the thing known as sleep. I will set my Sleep Number bed for something a little softer tonight. I won’t hiss tonight unless I get woken up. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get a tummy rub and some catnip. (I mean chocolate. LoL)

New Year New Pains?

2011-01-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

New pains for a New Year, what did you get for the New Year? Okay maybe they aren’t exactly new pains, just recurrent ones that I forget about when I don’t hurt. It has been a heck of a weekend. I have spent more time of the New Year in bed than out of it. Alas…the weather has changed and I am feeling much better.

I made no plans to celebrate the New Year other than to be alone with Cary Grant. (Heavy sigh) I have to admit, I have had a crush on him since I was a little girl, but I digress. I just wanted to stay home. I didn’t want to go anywhere; I just wanted to stay home. I was glad I did as the pain started that night with the weather change. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad curled up in a down blanket, sipping hot cocoa and watching Cary Grant in The Philadelphia Story. Okay, so I like James Stewart too, and to have both of them in the same movie, commercial free? SCORE! (LoL)

And although I spent New Years Eve alone, I was smiling and in a happy mood. Who needed champagne; I had my own form of entertainment. What can I say? I am easily amused.

Laughter is the best medicine. I make sure I have plenty of laughter in my life. It helps reduce the stress. Let’s face it….who needs stress; I have enough of my own. If I didn’t make a point to find humor in things or make myself smile or laugh, no one would want to be around me. When I am in a lot of pain, I become quiet. People will ask me if I am in a bad mood. No, I’m not in a bad mood, I am just concentrating on how to relieve the pain or how to get through the task or chore I am doing at the moment. I think people are so used to seeing me smile, they think I am upset if I’m not smiling. Trust me; if I was upset….you would know it, no questions asked. Ever hear the saying: Hell hath no fury like a redhead? That’s all I’m saying at the moment.

I am sure we all act differently in the face of pain. I think it is important one strives to maintain a sense of humor about it. Why be angry about it? Where will the anger get us? It certainly won’t help to ease the pain. Maybe talking about it helps, maybe laughter helps, or maybe medication helps. We are all different. As for me, I will take my nice warm, cozy down comforter, a cup of hot cocoa and a Cary Grant movie anytime I am feeling pain. Alright, I would watch a Cary Grant movie even if I weren’t in pain. I am a sucker for a charismatic, charming kind of guy.

New Year and new pains? No problem! I think I have this year figured out. I will work on distressing and trying to forget the pain by trying to fool my mind with humor and to keep it occupied. Might be simplistic on my part, but hey….if it works, it can’t be all that bad. So here’s to a Happy and Healthier New Year for all of us, Fibromyalgia sufferers or not, we all deserve a better New Year!

HaPpY NeW yEaR!

2010-12-30T20:34:00.000-08:00

How many New Year’s resolutions do I have to make before I actually succeed at one? I have no idea, but your guess is as good as mine. I plan on staying home and going to bed early for once. I have no idea why I always stay up and watch the ball drop. Nothing changed, all I did was sit and watch the ball drop, maybe kiss a loved one Happy New Year. Honestly, I can do that anytime. I can even record it and watch it over and over again if I wanted to, but where would it get me? Maybe I’m a little jaded or just a little tired. This week….I’m a lot tired, but there are still resolutions to be made.

The nice thing about a new year is that you can do things differently in the coming year. Most of us make resolutions that are beyond our capabilities. We just set our sights too high instead of realistic goals. We make lists upon lists until we get the list we want. Making a list shouldn’t be hard; it shouldn’t always have to be bigger and better than the last.

I could make a list and tell you I would do things I have no intention of doing, but I won’t. I would rather not even make a list if truth be known. What will you resolve to do this coming year?

As for me, I will:

2: I will not let Fibromyalgia ruin my day

3: I will appreciate my family and friends more

4: I will be more patient with those that do not understand the pain I experience

5: I will learn to pace myself better

6: I will try to practice what I preach

7: I may not resolve to be stress free, but I will try to lower my stress levels

8: I will not resolve to lose a certain amount of pounds; I will resolve to eat healthier

I could make a list like this.....

See, no unrealistic goals, nothing too difficult. At least I acknowledge that I can improve. We can always improve ourselves or our lives. I realized this and became more appreciative of what I do have when several years ago I was diagnosed with a pre-cancerous condition. That diagnosis made me come to the realization that I had to make some changes in my life. I don’t think I was scared enough to make life altering changes for more than a few years. Many things have happened in life since that day. I thought about those things today. Maybe if I thought about them more often, I would be more motivated. There are a lot of things I might do differently in the coming future; there is one thing I know I will do starting tomorrow. I won’t wait until the New Year to start. I will spend more time with my father. You see, he just turned 78 on Christmas Eve and although he lives with me, it becomes more evident each year that he may not be around much longer. I need to spend more quality time with him. As long as he’s around, he will be on the top of my list each year.

Happy New Year dad, I love you!

Scrooged Again!

2010-12-28T21:39:00.000-08:00

Since having my computer back, I have spent the last few hours online looking at Fibromyalgia articles on treatment of pain. Most sites offer a plethora of advice as many are want to do. Sure, we all want a cure all, who wouldn’t with this kind of pain?! What annoys me is that most of the sites think they are the only cure. Some sites do acknowledge that Fibromyalgia pain affects people differently. I am afraid some people lose site of that fact. The key words being: fibromyalgia pain affects people differently. I may be on a pedestal here and I don’t mean to be ranting, but come on, just because we may suffer from Fibro fog doesn’t mean we believe everything we read. We know there are snake oil salesmen out there.

Not all medications work for the same for everyone. Not everyone has the same reaction. My personal opinion is that if you find something that works for you, then by all means stick with it, but leave your mind open to new ideas and options. As long as Lyrica works for me, I know I will espouse the virtues of it. I also realize that as time goes along, I may have to increase the dosage or frequency of usage. I also realize that I will have periods of Break Through Pain, where nothing will help. To expect to be completely pain free would not be realistic on my part. What is realistic on my part is to do what I can to keep warm, lower my stress levels, get some exercise, eat better and not over do my daily activities. Here again, this works for me, you may have a regimen that helps you.

Of course, if you work for a modern day Scrooge that keeps the office thermostat set at 55 degrees, you will never get warm. You can however; dress like poor Bob Cratchit, donned in several layers of clothing, a scarf, hat and fingerless gloves, enabling you to work with your hands. As I faced the cold weather and bone chilling winds while getting a start on my workday, I was glad I had dressed in 3 shirts, a sweater, scarf and coat for work. The wind chill alone was placing outside temperatures in single digits. After stepping into the office and removing my coat and scarf I immediately put them back on. Ebenezer Scrooge had not allowed any coal for today I saw. Quietly traipsing over to the wall thermostat in the back workroom, I nudged the thermostat from 55 to 60 degrees. Alas….I was still not getting any warmer an hour and a half later. What evil was working its magic to hinder this flow of warmer air? I looked upwards and my eyes caught sight of a most hideous thing: the vents in my office had been closed by Scrooge! Bah-humbug! Foiled again.

Being only 5 foot 3 inches, there is no way I can reach the 8 foot high vents. Good thing I had long strip of aluminum with which to reach the levers. Being a Cratchit, I am resourceful! I soon had the vents open and aimed in my direction. My ears would have to remain uncovered as I would need to keep an ear out for Scrooge leaving her office. If I moved quickly enough, my disobedience would not be discovered. Somehow the layered clothing, fingerless gloves, and one small piece of coal were not enough to keep me warm today. Hot coffee might do the trick. Maybe I could wrap my hands around the mug. Oh wait….Ebenezer took my mug and sold it for a mere pittance, that won’t work. Maybe if I worked hard enough, I could get warm.

As my fingers pecked away at the frozen keyboard, I realized I couldn’t feel them. Maybe that was a good thing. If I ended up working my fingers to the bone, I wouldn’t feel it. LoL So engrossed I was in typing, I missed Ebenezer leaving her office and did not get the vents turned back off. Maybe Scrooge would be generous today; after all….Christmas had only been 3 days ago. The cold started me day dreaming I would be the recipient of a pair of USB hand warmers to use at work. With Tiny Tim optimism I keep looking for a warmer future. Winter did just start 7 days ago, but at least it was pretty and snowy outside.

Tiny Tim taught me to dress warmly and to accept the things I cannot change. I can change my clothing to keep me warmer on these cold winter days. I will experience pain, but I will trudge on as best I can with the help of my family and friends. By accepting these things, I will lower my stress levels in dealing with Fibromyalgia. There will be days I need to add extra coal to the fires to keep me warmer. But I will always look for new and better ways to get through the days without making my brain dull and fuzzy. I will continue my library and internet searches for help in dealing with Fibromyalgia and in the meantime, I’ll use my Tiny Tim optimism to keep working on Ebenezer Scrooge and getting some more coal for the fire.

Returning Soon!

2010-12-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

I have been without my computer and have been able to post. I just received the part for my computer and will be posting soon!

I wish you all a very happy and safe holiday season. Stay warm and stay safe.

Winter is here!

2010-12-12T21:41:00.000-08:00

Oh the weather outside is frightful no really, but I feel like it is. Oh yeah, winter is on the way, I feel it. In fact I was feeling the pain start in my shoulder and arm and decided to check the local news for the current weather prediction. Know what, I was right on time, they predicted a low pressure system moving in at the same time I began feeling the sharp pains. It is so nice to know I can predict the weather and I don’t even have the proper college education credits. Oh who needs it when you have Fibromyalgia anyway? In fact…who needs Fibromyalgia? Not me!

Which got me to wondering; what the future will bring? Rain and then about 1”-3” of snow tonight and another 3” – 5” additional tomorrow. Oh yay, my connective tissues are rejoicing as I ponder this. Good thing I loaded up the firewood for the fireplace earlier today and got the snow fence up! Of course, that may be part of why I am feeling the stabbing pains right now. Keep my mind occupied and maybe I will hurt less. At least that’s what I am thinking at this point. It is supposed to be 10 degrees below tonight. At least the pain won’t be as bad since the snow has started. I received a text that I should take tomorrow off. Something I would normally rejoice at, but I do need the income at least to pay for the medications. (LoL)

Today was officially the first day of winter in my book; it snowed today after a layer of freezing rain. So glad I don’t have to shovel the mess, that’s what they make husbands snow throwers for. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind doing the driveway if I didn’t have Fibromyalgia. Being out in the country and having a neighbor with evergreen trees reminds me of my childhood. Walking in the snow, being outside at night with the snow blanketing the ground and the trees, muffling the sounds; I always found peace and quiet on a winter day with the snow falling. I remember building snow forts and making snow angels in freshly fallen snow. Being outside until my fingers and toes were frozen and then running inside to divest myself of coat, gloves and hat to await a cup of freshly made hot cocoa. Mmmmmmm….warms my insides just thinking about it. I do remember freezing at night though. Not being able to stay warm. That may be why I now have a warm quilt and down comforter covering my bed in the winter. I sit here now typing this under a down blanket. The only thing I seem to be missing is a nice warm cup of cocoa. I think I’ll go make myself some and then settle in for the night. Just as soon as I find the mini marshmallows to top it off.

Stay warm and think warm happy thoughts. They help ease the pains associated with Fibromyalgia. Who knows….maybe they will find hot cocoa is good for it!

Just a vegetable

2010-12-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

As the weather turns colder and colder with a chance of snow and I realize the warehouse I am walking through is warmer than my office area, my thoughts turn to warm things like; what am I gonna make for dinner tonight? I have left over Marinara and spaghetti in the fridge, but for some reason it doesn't sound enticing this evening. I want something hot and liquid in substance. Soup. Homemade soup sounds good with a grilled cheese sandwich. Comfort food on a cold winter’s day. That's what I want! Why is it homemade soup just reminds me of childhood and playing out in the snow, making snow forts and hiding from a barrage of hard packed snowballs? But I digress….

Okay, now what kind of soup should I make? I thought about it. I decided I had the makings for Vegetable Soup. Maybe vegetable soup with a twist…..ham, vegetable soup with ham. Ha! And you thought I was going to say vegetable beef soup.

My mother used to make vegetable soup with ham. With this recipe, you can substitute beef for ham or ham for beef. Ham is lower in fat and it adds a different flavor and besides, it makes up for the artery clogging, heart stopping Bakalava recipe I posted.

So I thought I would share with you my quick recipe for vegetable soup. Enjoy it with or without meat. It has a flavor that will stand on its own. Bon Appétit.

Vegetable Soup

You will need the following:
32 ounces of V-8 juice

14 ounces canned diced tomatoes
12 ounces cubed ham or stew meat
1 cup diced onion
1 bag frozen mixed vegetables (lima beans, green beans, peas, carrots, and corn)
1 rib of celery diced
1 Tbl. minced garlic
2 small or 1 large blanched potato diced
2 medium or 3 small carrots diced

6 Tsp. beef bouillon soup base

1 Tsp. celery seed

1 bay leaf

a smidgeon of basil

a smidgeon of oregano

4 beef bouillon cubes

Salt and pepper to taste

3 cups water

Brown the stew meat or ham (or no meat at all) together with: onions, garlic, celery, and carrots in a large pot. The meat will start to brown and the onions and celery will become transparent and the carrots tender. When they have reached this stage, add 1 cup of water to deglaze the pot.

While the vegetables and meat are browning, in another pan, blanch potatoes. I usually cook them as I would for potato salad: in an inch of salted water with the skins on. When they are tender when pierced, remove from heat. Remove skins under cold running water. Dice potatoes.

Add V-8 juice, canned diced tomatoes (do not drain), frozen vegetables, potato, and spices. Next add 6 Tsp. of beef bouillon soup base and 4 beef bouillon cubes and 2 to 3 cups additional water to taste. Do not add salt and pepper until you simmered the soup for at least 10 minutes. Add salt, pepper and 1 bay leaf. Simmer on low for ½ hour. Remove bay leaf before serving soup.

Cold Hands Anyone?

2010-12-03T21:41:00.000-08:00

Cold hands, warm heart….or so they say. I would rather have warm hands and a warm heart, especially on a cold night. So I decide to take things into my own hands. Literally.

While helping my father fold his laundry the other day, I watched him as he carefully examined his socks. Wondering what held his fascination, I asked him if his socks were okay or if he needed new ones. He replied that he had 10 new pair already in his dresser and he was wondering whether he trade his old socks out for the new ones. Mind you, there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with his ones. I think he just likes new socks.

When I asked him what he planned on doing with his old ones, he asked if I wanted them. I couldn’t reply quickly enough, SURE! He thought I wanted to wear them around the house. No, they were too big for that, I wanted them for my arms and hands. No, not sock puppets. No, not sock monkeys either. My grand plan? To use them during the cold days and nights on my Fibromyalgiac hands.

Weird? Maybe, but I find it works. I cut off the toes and cut a slit in the heel, just big enough for my thumb to pop through. It’s easy to get carried away and cut too much; I did that the first time I made my fibro gloves. It is always best to cut too little and take more away later than to cut too much. I don’t bother stitching them up or finishing the edges. Maybe I should, but I don’t bother. They cover me from elbow to knuckles leaving my finger tips free. I have used them at work while typing away in a cold office, in bed while reading and sometimes even sleeping in them. For some reason, the last few years, my Fibro seems to have settled in my arms, shoulders and hands. Of course part of that may be due to the fact that I broke my right hand when I was 18 and broke some fingers in my left hand a few years later.

Okay….I am a klutz, I admit it for the entire world to see. Those of you who know me, know I am accident prone. Who else do you know gets a ten penny nail in their knee that has to be surgically removed, stabs themselves in the knuckle with a dental tool, falls down a flight a stairs not once, but 3 times in her life, sprains her neck, ankle, knees and wrist over stupid things? Well…you just met her. I have been a klutz since childhood. I have also experienced aches, pains, and light sensitivity since childhood. I never said anything, never told a soul what I was experiencing. I just thought it was a fact of life. I thought everyone felt that way, they just never complained. Maybe I had the early symptoms of FMS since childhood; maybe the FMS makes me a klutz.

Whatever the reason, I know I must find solutions to certain problems that present themselves, one of them being hurting hands. They may not be elegant fingerless gloves, but they work without being cumbersome. I like cotton and I find cotton socks to be comfortable on my hands….and my feet. Just make sure you wash them before you put them on your hands.

Heart Stopping Bakalva

2010-11-27T19:27:00.000-08:00

Heart stopping, artery clogging goodness can be yours in just a few, not so short steps. I recently made a batch of this delectable treat which I haven’t made for about 5 years. I was asked to make it for a family get together recently. This recipe even appeals to some who don’t normally like Baklava. My mother had a recipe for Baklava from Danny Thomas’ mother. I don’t know how in the world she ever got the recipe, but she did. She made it for years and my sister and I never had the heart to tell her it we were allergic to the black walnuts she used. This recipe differs from that one as this is Middle Eastern as opposed to Greek style. After tasting this wonderful treat at a local bakery some years ago, I purchased their recipe book. I changed a few things as I always tend to do in recipes. I must warn you; just walking by the dish will add 10 pounds to your hips.

This recipe does take some time, so as usual; you may want to pace yourself. I survived making the baklava by starting on it two days before. I shelled the pistachio nuts ahead of time. The day before I made the baklava, I chopped all the nuts in my cheap $6.00 mini grinder and chopper. Having chopped them, I placed the measured amount into a large plastic bag. I chopped the pistachios separately and placed them into a small plastic container. I took out the Filo dough from the freezer 24 hours ahead of time and placed it into the refrigerator until I was ready to work on the Samneh, Attar and Baklava.

It may sound redundant, but it cuts down on the actual time you will spend assembling the baklava and you won’t be as exhausted when you are done. Someone without Fibromyalgia may not have the difficulty we sometimes face when working in the kitchen. Simple arm movements can be painful even excruciating. Standing can be very painful if you suffer most pain in your legs. The key for me to get through a long process such as this is to find ways to make it less stressful. Sure the process may take the same amount of time in the end, but by spreading it over a few days I am not as tired. I hope you can find a way to make to make this. My sister says it’s the best she ever tasted, which is kind of cool as she worked as a caterer for awhile and also inherited my mothers baking prowess. Just remember, it is a heart stopping, artery clogging recipe. But oh, what a way go!

“Samneh”

1 pound butter

16 grams flour

Melt butter in a saucepan. Add flour and cook on a low heat until the foam disappears from the top. The bottom will hold the sediment left from the flour, salt and other impurities from the butter. The Samneh will be clear. Remove from heat and cool. Pour the cooled butter into a glass container for using in your recipe.

You can make additional Samneh and store for sometime un-refrigerated in glass jars.

“Attar”

2 cups sugar

1 ¼ cups water

1 Tbl. lemon juice

1 tsp. rose flower water

Mix sugar and water bringing to a boil. Add lemon juice and boil for 7-8 more minutes. When mixture has cooled add rose flower water.

“Baklava”

1 lb. Filo (Phyllo) dough at room temperature

1 ½ cups finely chopped walnuts

1 ½ cups finely chopped cashews

1 cup Samneh

½ tsp. cinnamon

¼ tsp. nutmeg

¼ cup powdered sugar

1 cup Attar

¼ lb pistachio’s (set aside, do not mix with other nuts)

Mix together nuts, sugar, and spices into a large bowl. Set aside. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Grease an 11” x 17” with butter. Do not use a baking spray. Place two layers of Filo dough in the pan. Brush lightly with Samneh. Continue brushing every 2 layers for 3 more sets of layers.

Sprinkle with some of the nut mixture. Continue layering the pan with 2 layers of Filo dough and a light sprinkling of the nut mixture until you have 3 sheets of Filo dough left. Place 2 sheets of the dough over your last layer of nut mixture. Brush again lightly with butter. Place the last sheet of dough on top.

With a sharp knife, cut into rectangular, square or diamond shapes. Pour remaining Samneh (about ¾ cup) over the pan. Place the pan in the oven and reduce the temperature to 275 degrees. Bake for 1 ½ hours. Dough will be slightly browned on top. If you wish to have a darker top, broil momentarily after baking.

While baking, shell pistachios and grate them.

Cool for 10 minutes. Pour cold Attar evenly over the surface, making sure you get the corners of the pan. Sprinkle the top with grated pistachios. Let set over night. Serve the next day. (If you can wait!)

How to survive a turkey dinner

2010-11-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

So….you’re going to make a big turkey dinner for your family and maybe even a few friends. How are you going to survive the cooking, the baking, the cleaning and oh yeah, the pain of it all? So how can you do it without killing yourself in the process? When I have the answer to that, I will let you know.

We had a turkey dinner planned for this past weekend. The plan was to have a dinner then go and see a movie (Harry Potter of course). So it takes a few days to get the house in order of course. After work, I found a little time each day to plan the menu, get the shopping done, and clean the house one room at a time while caring for my father after hand surgery. The day started early on the day of my fathers’ surgery, so I took advantage of cleaning several rooms that day. I still can’t believe I found time to do it all, but somehow I got it done.

The night before our turkey dinner I took the turkey out of the fridge to start the brine. After making sure I had the neck and innards removed, I placed the turkey and brine in the cooler and set it in the garage to remain cool. Dinner wouldn’t be until 5:30 or 6:00 the next evening, so it would have a good 15 hours to brine. I prepped the candied yams and green bean casserole for baking the next day. While prepping the dishes, I had a placed a pan of water and eggs on to boil for deviled eggs. Our guests were to bring dessert, so I didn’t plan any. I decided I have enough to do. I made a gallon of iced tea after prepping the green bean casserole. After a long day at work, I decided that was enough work for the night, so I hopped in the shower and went downstairs to take a load off.

Oh man, time for bed. As I pulled myself up the stairs and went through the mental list of what I still needed to do. I could sleep in tomorrow. What a concept! When I got up the stairs, I realized the eggs were still setting out. Should I peel them now or wait until morning? What the heck….I did them then. Eggs peel better when they are room temperature anyway. I learned that a long time ago. By the time I had them peeled and washed, I realized I had better start the dishwasher. Okay, then I could go to sleep.

Off to bed, I felt like I was well set for time next day and I could sleep in. In bed and relaxing I picked up my newest book to read. Too bad I fell asleep while reading it. I even dreamed that I had shut the light off and taken my pills. Too bad I woke up an hour later totally confused because the light was still on and the book was open and my glasses were still on. I set the alarm and proceeded to fall back asleep.

I hate to say it, but morning came too soon. It would have been better if I hadn’t received a call from our guests cancelling. But…. cancellations happen, just a fact of life. First things first- I would still have a turkey dinner; I would just have more leftovers. I sliced the eggs to make the deviled egg filling and filled them placing them in the fridge. As opposed to rolls, I decided to make my famous cornbread instead. While the cornbread was baking, I opened the jellied cranberry and dished it out. I prepped the big bird with a butter massage and herbs in the cavity. With the timing planned out, I placed it in the oven for 3 ½ hours. Wowza…. That meant I could chill out for a couple of hours! Maybe I could get someone to peel and cut potatoes for me.

Since company wasn’t coming, I could lounge in my pajamas all day. Planning can be a good thing. So I relaxed and checked out movie times for the evening while he did the potatoes. The turkey came out and I popped the green bean casserole in to bake for a half hour and started the potatoes, stuffing and corn on the stovetop. I set the table with pickles, deviled eggs, jellied cranberries and cornbread. The gravy was being made by the gravy master while I cut the turkey up placed everything on the table. I cannot believe it, but everything went smooth as silk. Gobbled up the turkey and stuffed ourselves before heading off to the overly crowded movie theater. No comment on the movie. I’ll save that for the movie reviewers. As they say… “alls well that ends well.” Planning can be a good thing.

Oh Fudge!

2010-11-16T20:18:00.000-08:00

I must share a recipe with you I found online at allrecipes.com. I have changed it just a little bit. As with any recipe, I cannot leave it alone, I must always adjust and make it my own. Just in time for fall. It goes great with eggnog or coffee. I plan on having mine for dessert this weekend when company comes over. Well….that is, if it will last that long. I may have to make another batch.

Please try it and enjoy. I know I will!

PUMPKIN FUDGE

Assemble Ingredients:

2 TBL butter 7 Ounces marshmallow crème

2 ½ Cups white sugar ¾ Cup canned pumpkin puree

2/3 Cup evaporated milk 1 TSP pumpkin pie spice

1 Cup white chocolate chips 1 TSP vanilla extract

DIRECTIONS:

1: Butter a 9” x 9” pan and line with waxed paper, set aside

2: In a 3 quart saucepan, heat evaporated milk and sugar over medium heat. (Make sure you use evaporated and not sweetened condensed milk.) Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally with a silicone spatula.

3: Mix in pumpkin puree and pumpkin pie spice. (Make sure you use puree and not pumpkin pie filling.) Bring back to boil. Stir in marshmallow crème and butter. Bring to a rolling boil. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 18 minutes.

4: Remove from heat. Add white chocolate chips and vanilla. Stir until creamy and all chips are melted. (You will need to stir firmly and steadily.) Pour into your prepared pan. Cool and remove from pan. Waxed paper should peel off easily. Cut into squares. Store in a cool dry place, do not refrigerate.

The original recipe was found online at:

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Pumpkin-Fudge/Detail.aspx

Viva La Difference!

2010-11-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

Decisions, decisions, decisions….which book do I pick? While cruising the bookstore for another mystery to read, I wandered over to the health section. I thought I would check to see if what is in print regarding Fibromyalgia. I found one of the titles that touted “the latest information on new medication” to actually be published in 2001. Good thing I checked the publication date inside the front cover. I know there have been advances in medication since 2001. Then I checked the ‘diet and Fibromyalgia’ titles. Okay, not just the titles, I flipped through the pages. I had to. I cannot buy a book without peeking in it. So….I flip through the pages of several books and find some contradictory information. Which one do I believe? Alternative medicine or traditional medicine? New treatment, alternative or traditional? I have no idea. There was one book I noticed that gave you choices, both sides to alternative and traditional medicines. By doing so, it let you make the decision. Now that’s what I think should happen, give me both sides of the issue and let me make an informed or not so informed decision.

When I got home, I got on the internet thinking I would check out some information there. I have copied and pasted below something I found on Web MD regarding diet and Fibromyalgia:

"This is because fibromyalgia is not a specific illness," says Michael McNett, MD. McNett directs the Fibromyalgia Treatment Centers of America, headquartered in Chicago. "Fibromyalgia is more like a symptom complex, and different people appear to have different reasons why they get this symptom complex," he says. "So what works for one person very frequently does not work for another."

And this, say experts, includes dietary measures.

Kent Holtorf, MD, is the medical director of the Holtorf Medical Group Center for Endocrine, Neurological and Infection Related Illness in Torrance, California. He says, "We're at the point now where we know diet plays a role in this disease -- it's just not the same diet for everybody. And not everybody is helped in the same way."

This seems to go along with what I had been thinking when browsing through the books. Everyone is different!!! Fibro treatments and diets are as individual as we all are. I am glad we are all different: otherwise it might be kind of boring. Then again, we might all have Fibromyalgia….or not! That would be a good thing. Maybe if you keep a log or diary, you might write down the foods you eat. You may notice a trend with foods and how you feel. It would only be natural that foods would make you feel better or worse. I know chocolate makes me feel better. At least I know I love chocolate and eating it makes me smile, so it has to make me feel better. I know the tea and coffee I drink keep me awake and I am not sure I want to know if they are good or bad for me.

I hope you all find the food that works for you and a healthy diet that you can live with. Remember we are all different and as the French say…. “Viva la difference!”

For the Record

2010-11-14T20:32:00.000-08:00

I don’t know about you, but when I was little I begged for a diary, one with a lock and key in which I could pour out my heart and deepest darkest secrets. I wrote in it daily, hiding it beneath my pillow each night. Yes, hiding it, so my brothers wouldn’t peek inside seeking to find something useful to torture or bribe me with. Little did I understand they were master lock smiths at the ripe old age of 13 and 14. Okay, so maybe not lock smiths, but they were master diary lock pickers. Thank goodness I learned this at an early point before I filled the diary with my secret crush on Stanley T. Applegate. Stanley T. Applegate…(heavy sigh)…but I digress….

Since then, I have not taken much stock in diaries or tiny brass locks for that matter. There are other kinds of diaries though, such as the one I stumbled upon at a pain sight. This was a pain diary in which you could track your pain on a daily basis. I downloaded it and I will try to share the Adobe file with you. Tracking your pain may help you to better control it. I have always tried to track my pain by making mental notes along the way. Over time, I have learned what I can and cannot do. I am sure you may have noticed the same thing. By keeping a daily log, you can share it with your doctor as well and possibly adjusting your medications or changing them altogether.

There is a reason doctor’s use the term, pain management. Managing your pain and reducing your level of pain can help you live a healthier, more active life. Since I changed my medications and made attempts to be aware of what causes more pain and how I can alleviate it, I have actually become more active. Yes, I limit myself, but in a good way. Keeping a pain diary may not be for everyone, but you never know until you try. You also cannot judge a diary by its cover. Try it for a month and see what happens. What have you got to lose….except maybe pain?

Here is the link you will need to download the pdf file:

http://partnersagainstpain.com/printouts/Daily_Pain_Diary.pdf

Don’t be afraid to try new things or to be honest with yourself. Be open to new, different or old ideas. Keeping a pain record may not be new, but it may be new to you. Call it a record if it makes you feel better about it, because let’s be honest, that’s what it is. So grab some paper and a pencil. Yes, you will want a pencil with an eraser most likely. Let me know how it works for you, or if it doesn’t. Good Luck and well wishes. I’m going to go look for my old diary. Maybe I’ll look for Stanley T. Applegate too. (LoL)

Will I ever learn?

2010-11-11T21:16:00.000-08:00

As usual, I never listen to my own advice. Take for example: the art of pacing oneself. I know I should do it and yet….I tend to over do things. It was a nice day out, the contractors were fixing my garage doors and I was in a cleaning mood. I felt good when I woke up and I actually got up earlier than usual thanks to the time change. Let me tell you, that extra hour of sleep really helped!

So being full of energy, bright eyed and bushy tailed, I decide to not only clean and scrub the bathroom, but to do 7 loads of laundry, sweep and vacuum the floors, put away some summer clothes, got out the winter ones made supper and experimented with making a new variety of cookie. I should have known better, I do know better. Yet, as always I am optimistic about what I can achieve. I did achieve quite a bit. It just took a little longer to get to sleep, a few more hours of pain. Oh well, I guess that makes up for some of the extra sleep I got with the time change.

I did use my brain for good and played with my oatmeal cookie recipe. If you feel adventurous, you may want to try it. I always use the “Vanishing Oatmeal Cookie” recipe on the inside lid of Quaker Oats. This time though, when pulling out the ingredients to use, I saw something I had purchased the week before at the store. I had bought some Cherry Craisens and Pomegranate Craisens. I know I like the flavor of cherry and pomegranate together so why not trade the raisens for Craisens? Oooh, and a bag of sliced almonds. Cherry and almonds go together. So I followed the recipe except for the cinnamon. I only used ¼ Tsp. of cinnamon. Instead of raisens, I used ½ cup of Cherry Craisens and ½ cup of Pomegranate Craisens. I used almond instead of walnuts. Low and behold, I had some white chocolate chips in the cupboard as well. I thought I should add a little sweetness and so I added 2/3 cup of the white chocolate chips. I baked the cookies at the same temperature and for the same length of time. I liked the taste. They were a hit with everyone. I think if I would have had Almo-van flavoring instead of just vanilla it might had been better. Almo-van is a combination of almond and vanilla flavoring. You can substitute Almo-van with equal parts vanilla and almond flavoring, a flavor I grew up with as my mother was a cake decorator. It just adds a little something to the flavor. So if you feel adventurous, you may want tot give it a try.

At least I as able to able to enjoy a few cookies in my sleepless hours. Did I learn anything from overdoing it? No, I will most likely not listen to my own advice and will not pace myself. They say pain is a great teacher. All I can say, is I must be pretty stupid. Maybe I should write a few notes to myself, oh yeah, if only I didn’t have fibro-fog and I could remember to do that! (LoL) Oh well….maybe someday I will learn. Just maybe....

Every time a bell rings...

2010-11-08T20:52:00.000-08:00

Most everyone is familiar with the line from the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life; “Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings.” There are an awful lot of ringing bells, so there must be even more wingless angels. So what is an angel? I’ve met several in my life, all of them wingless earth angels. The dictionary describes an angel as someone having the qualities which are generally attributed to an angel such as; beauty, pureness, kindness, virtuous thoughts or actions, and somewhat of a guardian.

I am sure you have met an angel in your life, someone that is there for you, someone to lean on, to listen to you, to lift your spirits. Angels come in all shapes, sizes and ages. My angels give me continual support. They probably don’t even know it, but just knowing that I can reach out if I ever need to, well….sometimes that’s all I need to know. Sometimes that’s all we need. We often do things of our own accord, but angels are like invisible braces. They are there, you can’t really see them but they are there in the background, they straighten you out when you need it and offer support. Then there are angels that exude radiance. When they walk into a room, their smile lights up the whole room, a goodness comes out for all to see. You can’t miss them. Really. They just make you happy being around them. My angels are buoyant keeping my mood afloat in seas of trouble or pain. I don’t know where I would be without my angels, but I am thankful for them.

Better yet….are you an angel in someone else’s life? Is there something you can do to uplift a friend, a stranger even? Don’t ask what has someone else done for you lately, rather what can you do for someone else. Can you stop in to see an old friend, make a phone call, send a text or an email? Can you do shopping for someone, make a dish, and invite them over? Just spending time with someone might be all they need. Many people refuse help when you offer it and sometimes we need to take no for an answer. Often times we have difficulty doing things for ourselves. Take what time you can to be an angel. It will lift your spirits making you feel better, not to mention what it will do for the other person. Be genuine in your efforts, no one likes a fraud. Be positive in your thinking and actions and you can’t help but be an angel. Someday you’ll get your wings!

Fibro Soothing Soup

2010-11-08T18:11:00.000-08:00

Cold weather lurks behind the coming clouds and months ahead. There are days that I find I don’t have the energy to put on lavish feasts, let alone the time. I used to make a French Onion Soup that required hours and hours and browning a whole bag of small white onions. My eyes would be bloodshot from crying and my nose would run furiously from the onion vapors. I even tried cutting and cooking them with goggles on. It never failed; the sulfuric acid would seep into the tiny air vent holes. (Doh! Maybe I should have used swimmers goggles.) And what about the smell it left in the house? Yuck…it seemed to last for days.

After visiting a few local restaurants and sampling their French Onion Soups, I thought I could shorten the process dramatically. They served it on their menu daily and the restraint didn’t reek of charred onions and leave me crying. They had to make it daily, so I set out on a quest and experimented in my kitchen with what I call Kelly’s Easy French Onion Soup. It takes as little as 45 minutes to be enjoying it from start to finish. I make this when I want to feel all warm and fuzzy inside and I know I have plenty for several days. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. As Julia would say: “Bon Appetite”

You will need:

1 large sweet white onion sliced thin

1 TBL minced garlic

1 TBL butter

1 TBL virgin olive oil

Using a large pot on medium heat, brown your onions and garlic in melted butter and olive until the onions start to become transparent. (To speed up the process, you can cover the pot so that the onions are steamed on a medium high heat.) Deglaze the pan with:

1 box chicken broth

1 box beef broth

Then add:

2 beef bullion cubes

1 TBL beef soup base

8 to 24 ounces of water (This depends on how strong you want the flavor)

Salt and pepper to taste

1 TBL parsley

1 TBL oregano

Simmer on low to med-high for 30 minutes. While soup is simmering, cut into ½” cubes an artisan bread such as Asiago Cheese Semolina or Parmesan Peppercorn. Toast the cubes of bread under the broiler so that both sides are browned.

Ladle the soup into a bowl; add croutons and a few shavings of Parmesana Reggiano and top with one slice of Swiss or Provolone cheese. Place under broiler until bubbly and brown. Serve with a sandwich if you like or soup alone. For a sweeter soup, add 2 cups of white wine. Dig in!

Feeling Good

2010-11-07T09:27:00.000-08:00

What would you do if you had no pain? Okay, maybe not “no pain”, how about little pain? What would you do if you could do what you wanted without the side effect of pain? I randomly took some pictures off the internet to represent what I might do.

After rising this morning and wiping the last vestiges of sleep from my eyes, I realized I didn’t feel too badly today. We gained an hour of sleep with the time change and it felt wonderful! Yesterday we experienced extremely cold weather for this time of year and it was Breakthrough Pain day for me. My insides were dreading what today would bring, but it wasn’t so bad. I took it easy yesterday and made sure I kept warm. I feel better than I have for a few days and I wished I could just go out and do something without having to worry about the side effects. I wanted to do cartwheels, climb a mountain and take photographs, run along the beach, go snorkeling and have fresh clam chowder. Maybe even go on an African safari, cook or bake to my hearts content, clean the house from top to bottom and then sleep like a baby. What would you do? Really, what would you do?

I decided that my previous post about pictures being worth a thousand words was not the positive image I wanted to display. It may help others better understand what we feel, but let’s move forward from that. Let’s focus on what we would like to do. Make a mental list of something you would like to do when you feel better. Don’t worry whether you will ever achieve this goal, but focus on how to achieve that goal. Take baby steps.

Years ago, I dabbled in watercolors. I haven’t picked up a paintbrush since I moved from the Seattle area back to Ohio. I think I lost my inspiration years ago and feel the need to re-gain it. I am a creative person by nature as my parents and siblings are all creative. If I am honest about it; my father excelled in woodworking and winemaking, my mother cake decorating, baking and stained glass, my one brother art and photography, my other brother mechanical things and electronics, my sister cooking, baking and art, I am a jack of all trades and master of none. I have sold some of my art as well as writing. I guess that officially makes me a professional artist and writer. My work cannot even begin to reach the level of my one brother, he is truly gifted and I feel like a fake. As a child, I envisioned myself working for Walt Disney. I wanted to be an illustrator, but early on realized I was not as good as my brother or others. I would never be a Da Vinci, Rembrandt, Mucha, or Waterhouse. I needed to have my own style.

So my goal is to become more creative again. I cannot work on stained glass restoration as I used to. FMS does not allow me the freedom to do some of the necessary things. I can do some of the work, but no more climbing on scaffolding or lifting heavy sheets of glass. So…why not design stained glass patterns? That could combine drawing and stain glass work. I might be able to achieve 2 goals in 1. As I work on the goal, I might be able to make my other desires possible as well.

Tell me what your goals are. Maybe we can inspire one another or work out ways to make these goals or desires happen. I leave you with one of my last paintings and well wishes for a bright and happy day. I call this painting “Freedom”. I didn’t realize it would come to mean freedom from FMS.

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

2010-11-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

How does a person explain Fibromyalgia to someone who doesn't have it? I found different pictures on the internet which I have copied. I did not take these pictures or create them. I am not even sure who they are all from, but I wish to thank whoever did them for expressing such feelings and emotions in them. As an FMS sufferer, I am sure you will relate to them. Please share some of your own as well. Thank You!

On the Road Again

2010-11-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

The other day while driving to work I was hoping the heat had been turned on, the coffee pot was going and the day would less stressful. Yeah, keep dreaming Kelly. Keep dreaming. By the way…did I ever tell you I am an optimist? So, the day was more stressful than usual, I never did get that cup of coffee, nor was the heat turned on, I don’t know about you, but I can’t work in a 56 degree office. It was turned on the next day. Woohoo! Hey, I will take what I can get. On my journey to Stressville, I realized there had been frost on my window that morning and I would need to soon find my ice scraper. This means getting up earlier, starting the car and letting the defroster do the majority of the work. The thing about having FMS in your arms and shoulders is that you become acutely aware of your limitations. Mind you, this is just my personal opinion, but when my FMS moved upward from my legs to my shoulders, arms and hands, I felt I had to become more aware, more careful of my actions. I never thought before about how much I used my arms and shoulders in the average day.

Traveling by car on cold days such as this or when experiencing Breakthrough Pain can be a chore, even difficult at times, just turning the steering wheel can be excruciating. I have found using a lap quilt with cotton batting helps. (I use a cotton batting as it tends be warmer than a poly filling.) I place the quilt over my shoulder and arm closest the door. I might look like a dork with the “shoulder quilt” but honestly, I would rather be comfortable than chic. My husband and I are also fortunate enough to have vehicles with separate heat and air controls for driver and passenger. This is a great help when traveling. I can have as much warmth and heat as I want. Let’s face it, I’m a calorie slut. If I had my way, I would be surrounded in velvet or fur on cold days.

Something else I think about while traveling a lengthy distance is what my time schedule is going to be. Will I need pain medication before I get to my destination? Is it within reach or am I going to have to dig for it? Do I need to take food, drink milk or a full glass of water with the medication? Did I bring extra just in case I stay longer than anticipated? So many questions, the solution? Just take all my meds with me. Let’s face it, its just easier that way. I wasn’t a boy scout, but I do believe in being prepared and I have been caught without my medication before. By being prepared, I also cut down on the worries and stress. I know I will be taken care. Whether I am traveling by plane, train, automobile, bus or ship, I need to consider the length of my traveling time and being comfortable so that I can enjoy the traveling as much as the destination. It’s the little things in life that make us happy. Right now, warm and painless shoulders would make me so happy. So the next time you get on the road again, remember to think about the trip. You can be prepared and comfortable. Oh….and don’t forget to buckle up!

Comment from Anonymous

2010-11-02T21:10:00.000-07:00

In response to your comment posted on Breakthrough Pain; I feel your pain as do many other sufferers of Fibromyalgia. The pain experienced is hard for some to understand because you do look "normal". I haven’t been on for a few days because I was having extreme pain from the weather changing and some work related stress, which just didn’t help matters.

As you mentioned, depression often accompanies FMS and is even a side effect of some medications taken for FMS. It does at times seem like a no win situation, but I have vowed, it won’t get me down. I may have to change my goals for retirement and vacation spots. No more summersaults, trampoline jumping or gymnastics in the near future. But like you, I would settle for getting some work done around the house, to not hurt as I lift my arms to fold the clothes or hang them up. I feel like a slug as I trudge along trying to get things done. Things get dusty or pile up and I know you like a clean house as I do. I too, like to have things organized. I keep opening one particular kitchen cupboard and every time I do, I cringe as I want to shut it because I know I will have to get on my hands and knees to find what I am looking for. So while I am down there, why don’t I just organize it? Because like you, it seems to always be a fibro day lately. Oh, how I wish I had a Merry Maid to clean and organize my house. Okay, so maybe I should set a goal for myself.

Twice a year I usually do a “spring cleaning”. I failed to complete the second cleaning before fall came along as I too busy with our summer of tornados and a recent straight line wind that just tore apart my newly restored shed. So here’s my fall and winter goal: take one day a week to clean one room in my house. As most people I have more than 7 rooms, but if I spread this out over a two week period, I can do this. I am not talking get down and dirty, but clean the surface dirt, dust a little and pick up. Of course I will do the bathroom and dishes most everyday, but that goes without saying. Good thing I own a dishwasher, oh wait….I just received a recall letter on mine. Scrap that idea. So I will enlist some help doing the dishes during the colder months. I will try to take one day a month to do some deep cleaning, maybe organize something. It may end up being just one cupboard, but often it will lead to several cupboards. My house should stay clean enough for the winter, but I will be ready and waiting for the spring clean, that’s for sure. I know I seem awfully optimistic right now, but I have to try. No one will do it if I don’t. I may not get the help around the house that I would like to get, but I can ask for it. Ultimately it is up to me.

I have found I must remind some people that I cannot do certain things, to not take the rail road tracks so hard, or to please let me sleep in on the weekend if I can. It is up to me to remind others how I feel. You can do this without sounding whiney. Do what you can, at times going a little beyond, but if you go past your limits, take the time to get your strength back.

What others do not realize, is how experiencing pain drains your body. It takes your energy, it steals your time. Because it steals your time, you have to make time for yourself. It may seem selfish to some, but you need to do this. You need to rest to let your muscles and your mind regain their strength. How we will get others to understand this, I don’t know. Maybe we can educate them in a kind way. Maybe blogs like this can help educate others. I don’t claim to know everything. I can only share what I have learned from personal experience or information I have seen relating to Fibromyalgia. I do know that positive thinking can free you from some of the trappings of FMS. If it is hard to keep a positive mental image, try keeping a positive object. What I mean to say is, try keeping a single object in each room, like a photograph, a keepsake, a book, and candle, anything that will make you smile when you see it. I do this. No, I don’t have a house full of tchotchkes and trinkets gathering dust. Which is a good thing as that would mean even more dusting for me! Take delight in the little things; take delight in family and friends. Positive thinking has proven to help physical ailments.

I make sure I smile each night as I fall asleep. Kind of a silly thing really, but I do it. I might be grumpy when I wake up, but at least I try to go to bed smiling. I might be a bad mood, tired or hurting, but even when I force myself to smile, I find it makes me happy. Maybe not right away, but there is something about a smile that can change your mood. Ever have a bad day and you meet a kind happy person and they make you smile? Be that person. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Let the tired you see the happy you. Make yourself smile. It might take some work, but we can at least try. So I leave you with these thoughts: we will get through this, people will understand someday, we will like ourselves and we will accept the changes that affect our lives. Oh, and smile….it makes people wonder what you’re up to!

Wizard of Oz

2010-10-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

Fall is settling in, tornados are popping up; it’s that time of year you can find The Wizard of Oz on one satellite channel or another. So grab your ruby slippers and we’ll be off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz! Dorothy wanted to get back home; the scarecrow wanted a brain, the tin man a heart and the cowardly lion courage. What would you ask for? Honestly….what would you ask for? I gave this much thought the other day while waiting out another tornado warning.

Like the scarecrow; “I could while away the hours, conferrin’ with the flowers, consultin' with the rain. And my head I'd be a scratchin', while my thoughts were busy hatchin', if I only had” no pain. Okay, so I changed the words, but think about what you could do if you had no pain! You could take on the world. Like the scarecrow, you can already do that. The power lies within you. With or without pain, I believe we can make the most of our world. Don’t count your bad days, concentrate on the good days.

As for the cowardly lion; “I'm afraid there's no denyin', I'm just a dandy-lion, a fate I don't deserve. I'm sure I could show my prowess, be a lion, not a mouse, if I only had the nerve.” No one feels they deserve the pain of Fibromyalgia. Well, unless you are a masochist that is. And as for nerves….well, I am afraid that’s the problem. I have way too many sensitive nerves. The lion didn’t know what he was asking for. Trust me on this one. I would love the courage to deal with this some days. There are days I want to hide myself away, to hibernate. Like you, I have had courage all along. We trudge on finding the courage to deal with Fibromyalgia. And like that field of poppies, sometimes we just want to lay down and go to sleep, but we do walk on.

The Wizard of Oz told the tin man: “A heart is not judged by how much you love; but by how much you are loved by others.” I agree with the Wizard on this one. Count yourself fortunate if you have friends, true friends that share your good days as well as your bad days. Take the focus off yourself and shift it towards your friends. You will be happier for it and you may even find yourself in less pain. While the mind is busy it allows you to focus on things other than pain. Keep the mind busy.

Right now, my wizard is my pain relief. However that relief comes; be it the medical community, stress relieving exercises, hot showers or soaks in the tub, sleeping in a comfortable bed, the support and love of friends, curling up with a good book, or writing this blog, I find relief where I can. Like Dorothy, I didn’t really need the ruby slippers; I had the power all along. So keep the ruby slippers on if they make you feel better. Just remember to click your heels. Maybe someday when they find a cure for FMS, we can all look back on this as a dream as Dorothy did.

The Trials of Fibromyalgia

2010-10-26T20:17:00.000-07:00

While surfing the net, I found a site that listed current clinical trials for those that suffer from Fibromyalgia. You can take a more active part in your own healthcare by participating in clinical trials. By participating in a clinical trial, you may be able to receive a form of treatment not yet available to the public. The results from these trials may advance medical research helping others as well as yourself. These trials can often help answer questions encompassing Fibromyalgia.

Clinical Trials are available in various states and countries. The following link will allow you to view open trials by category. Each category lists the areas in which the specific trials are available.

Trials available are:

· Alternative Therapies

· Biofeedback and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

· Fatigue

· Devices

· Juvenile Fibromyalgia (FM in children)

· Medications

· Non-pharmacological Treatments

· Sleep

· Other

· International Trials

To access the link, please click below

http://www.fmaware.org/site/PageServer?pagename=research_clinicalTrials

Trials and tribulations befall us all, so why not undergo a trial that may benefit you or another person suffering from Fibromyalgia? A clinical trial may not be for you, then again, it may be just what you needed and you never knew it. I look back on a clinical trial for Lyrica that was done at the local University Hospital a few years back. I would have found relief from the majority of my pain a year sooner. I think I will check into a trial. Couldn’t hurt…well it might, but then again, progress is never painless.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get!