But Now, the indefinite has been redefined, Coming back on 1 July is the redefined, more focused, Fight Mediocrity.

More Dragons to Hunt, More Damsels to Rescue and some actual implementable steps for making the Dragon your Bitch.

Stay Tuned.

The Dragon makes it a scary world, and it’s soon going to be time to turn the tables.

Slay Many Dragons while I’m gone.

Unfortunately, this means I do watch a lot of things that should not have been committed to cellulose.  (Aeon Flux and Elektra spring to mind).  But in general, they’re watchable.  They’re not great movies, and will never be oscar winners, but they’re fun eye candy, and you don’t have to think.

I noticed today, however, that this is not the reason I persist in watching new dodgy movies.  Hope drives me to pick up the new releases and turn them over.  Hope drives me to place them in the DVD player and look for the telltale signs of promise (the lightning striking the tree is always a good start).  Hope that the film will get better has get me to a lot of endings.  The problem with hope is that if you are continually disappointed, pretty soon hope goes away.  And what you’re left with is resentment.

I have not yet reached that point.  The reason I continue to hope is that every so often I come across an unexpected delight.  Zombieland was one such film, as was Evolution.  But more recently, It was the Losers.   A formulaic film about betrayal and revenge, but still awesome.  One of those movies that reminds you why you persist.  Why you continue to push play.  Why you continue to hope.

The site has recently been about me.  The trials I’m experiencing, the things I want, lessons I’ve learned. Me, me, me.

So, how can I make it more about you?  What do you hope for when you open the browser?  Where can I help you find an unexpected delight?

Tell me in the comments, I’d love to know.

It’s difficult to say No! because we all crave acceptance.  Regardless of whether you choose to admit it, being accepted into a group is a desire we’ve got from our ancestors.  Going hunting large fanged beasties with pink skin and opposable thumbs would not have been possible without a co-ordinated group.  Those accepted into a group came home alive and with full bellies.  Those shunned, ended up gored, trampled or eaten. So fitting in was a good thing.

This has led to a desire to please and conform in order to remain within the safe confines of the group.  Which, results in not wanting to disappoint or alienate people.  Saying Yes! to everthing is an easy way to prevent this, even if we have no intention of ever fulfilling the affirmation.  Excuses later feel better than a No! now.

There’s another reason we avoid saying No!. In declaring No! to something, you shut it off.  You stop all possibilities that may have arisen further down that path.  In short, you limit your options.

Why then, is it important to say No!?

Any productivity coach will tell you that you have to learn to say no.  Pick up any book on time management, or boosting productivity and there will be a chapter on why you should be saying No!.  They tell you to practice saying No! To only do things that are the best possible use of your time, not someone elses best possible use of your time.

They tell you that in order to get where you want to go, you have to work on what will get you there.  You have to defend that work by saying No! to everything else.  This is all well and good, in a vacuum, but, when you’ve got a colleague standing at your desk asking for help to make his deadline, when you know you’ve got nothing urgent to do, saying No! just feels wrong.

This is why learning when to say No! is just as important as learning how to say No!  How do you go about learning what you should be turning down?

To say No! one must first say Yes!

Now that almost sounds zen.  It’s not.  You learn from experience.  One of my favourite quotations is about learning.

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.” Will Rogers

To figure out which “opportunities” you shouldn’t act on, you have to try and act on everything.  Saying Yes! gives you a chance to see how you feel, not when you say it, but later, when you’ve had a chance to think about what you’ve just agreed to, or, after you’ve completed it.  Looking back and evaluating the actions you’ve taken allows you to make better, more comfortable decisions in future.  if you don’t look back, you’ll always wonder whether saying No! was the right thing to do.

Look at the “To say No! one must first say Yes!” worksheet (you can get it by clicking here) and follow the instructions to figure out which opportunities you should be declining and which ones you should be jumping at.

How do you say No!?

The biggest problem with turning down requests is that a lot of people feel that this is a rejection.  If saying No! to something is not handled with tact and diplomacy (not speaking softly while having a big stick, real diplomacy), you run the risk of alienating people who you would rather keep as friends and allies.  Yelling “No! Stop wasting my time with this crap!” is a sure fire way to ensure that any of your requests are turned down in future. (As would be getting a red rubber stamp with the phrase “Fuck off” on it).

There are two ways to politely decline.  The first is when you know straight off that the request is wrong for you.  The first step is to acknowledge that the request has merit, something along the lines of “That sounds like a really interesting proposal, however” (I like “however”, it means the same as but, yet doesn’t sound as harsh).  Then follow with a polite refusal and a reason, and if possible, suggest an alternate person. For example “I don’t have the programming/graphic design/insert-skill-here skill that you need for that. Fred Bloggs, may be able to help”  The other one that works really well is “I just don’t have the time right now to give X project the attention it deserves.” These should allow you to refuse the projects, with a minimum of hurt feelings. (Unless they’ve also read this, in which case just tell them you have other Dragons to fight, and they’ll understand)

The second refusal is more of a stalling tactic.  If you;re not sure whether saying Yes! is right for you, you’ll want to use this option.  You don’t really commit or refuse to help, but instead buy yourself some time to way up the offer properly with respect to all your other goals.  You ask for some time to “look at your schedule and see if you have the time to dedicate to the project”.  Give a firm time for when you will give an answer, and stick to that.  At that point you should have a better idea of whether to say No! or not.  If No! is the way to go, then use the methods mentioned above.

What have you said No! to recently? (tell me in the comments) (I’ll also accept things you’ve said Yes! to, I’m not all that fussy)

This change has been building for a while.  but it was catalysed during one of the Awesome Chat Sessions when we were defining success.  I realised that I was chasing 2 successes with this site and I was getting them confused.  Fight Mediocrity comprises of two parts.  There is the site, which is a free resource to help people overcome the things that are getting in the way of their particular brand of greatness.  And there is the business of the site which is going to allow me to leave my day job.

These are two distinctly different goals, and by trying to lump them together I was not making the best choices I could for either of them.  By splitting them, it allows me to make better decisions.  It allows me to evaluate opportunities based on the correct criteria instead of trying to apply all my goals to everything.

This new decision matrix then got two more grenades thrown at it.  The first is the fantastic resource Catherine is putting together over at Be Awesome Online, The Awesome Website Extravaganza.  Catherine really knows what she’s doing and more importantly, how to explain it to you, so the lightbulb doesn’t just go on, but explodes from the shear amount of inspiration that flows through it.

The second grenade was Lavonne Ellis (of The Complete Flake) and David Crandall (from Heroic Destiny)’s customer love challenge.  This is a 28 day challenge with daily tasks.  You don’t have to complete it in 28 days. (It started a week ago, and I’m still on day 1, so you can start now, and you’ll likely still overtake me)  The first thing was to decide where you wanted to be at the end of the challenge.  I’m struggling with this one, which is why I haven’t moved on.  I have to make a decision, commit to it, and work towards it.

As a result of all of this, I found that posting daily was doing nothing more than posting daily.  I could maintain the daily posting frequency, but could do little else.  I wasn’t able to look at growing the business side, and I couldn’t help people any better.

I’ve decided to cut back on the posting.  Instead of 5 days a week, I’m going to cut back to 3 days a week (Monday, Wednesday, Friday).  I’m also dropping the weekly “Encounters with the Dragon”  they’ll still be around, but only when I have something important to say, as opposed to now, where they’re kind of a round up of stuff.  The lessons learned from Dodgy Movies will also stay around but with less frequency.

Here’s what’s going to be new.  I’m going to try and do some more visual stuff.  After I put together the task evaluation flowsheet (with ducks), I realised I enjoyed doing it, so expect more of them.  There will also be worksheets and real action suggestions, so expect to have a more active role in hunting the Dragon, rather than just reading about it.

I’m really excited about this new direction, it feels right. I hope you’re excited too!

I’ve had it with the Dragon. I’m sick of his taunting, I’m sick of his smug grin. Most of all I’m sick of the way he picks on individuals. I decided enough was enough. It was time to go out Dragon Hunting. In a group. That way, we can watch each others backs. And, when the time comes, a coordinated strike will make short work of him.

The time for action is now

Thus, the Dragon Hunting Task Force was born. Currently, the task force is in the training phase, and I’m looking for aspiring Dragon Slayers to add to the ranks of the recruits I already have. If you wish to join, just mail me and I’ll contact you with the details.

Be warned though. Dragon Hunting is not for the faint of hears or potato of mouse. It requires commitment. Commitment to take action. Commitment to learn, Commitment to be great.

I’m not going to send you out on the dragon hunt unprepared and ill-equipped. That would be foolish and irresponsible of me. No, I’m going to train you in all the skills you need to hunt and slay the Dragon and when the time comes, I’ll be by your side, distracting the Dragon, so you can land the fatal strike.

The training will comprise of at least 2 group calls, 2 extremely targeted worksheets, and a one-on-one follow up session every month. There may be additional skills training in the form of ninja focus or lance wielding, but I’ll need to evaluate the skill set in the task force before moving onto advanced techniques.

If you’re ready to take the leap, To stand up and be counted, To become an Arch Angel, to mount that dragon head on your wall, just click and send. I’ll take care of the rest.

Procrastination and time off are two sides of the same coin.  So much so that often they can encompass the same activities.  Games, reading, fiddling with design, consulting sessions, e-courses, even blogging could all be a variety of activity types, ranging from critical importance, to disastrous procrastination.  It’s essential to understand where any given activity lies when you are doing it.  This helps you continue to make progress on the things you deem important.

And that’s just it.  It’s the things you deem important.  Fixing your sidebar during your peak creativity period is procrastination as surely as  playing puzzle pirates when you have a blog post to publish is.  Playing Puzzle Pirates after you’ve finished the first draft of the post and want to let it sit for a while, is time off.

The difference can be summed up in one word.  Intent.

The intention behind an action makes all the difference.  Now, don’t go thinking that this gives you permission to skive off all day and look back and go, but I intended to play World of Warcrack non-stop for 12 hours.  You’ve got to set the intention before you start.

There is a simple way to be able to evaluate the intention throughout the day, but it takes a little prep work.  Before you do anything, look at what are the three most important things to do that day, and number them in order of importance.  You don’t put time estimates here, sometimes these are way under what is actually required and racing to finish something just to fit into an arbitrary time estimate is never a good plan.  Of course, if something has to be finished by a certain time, a note of that time is useful.  Additionally, put down 2 or 3 time-off activities and set times for these.

At any point during the day, you can look at what you’re doing.  If it’s the most important thing left on your list, you are very clear that it’s intentioned.  If you’re doing one of the time-off activities and haven’t exceeded the preset timelimit for these, you can justify that it’s not procrastination, as long as you’ve made progress on the important stuff. (If you’re using Firefox, leechblock is a particularly useful addon for this.  It does take a little time to set up properly, but it’s time well spent)

You know have an idea of the difference between procrastination and time-off, and a way of determining which it is, but why is this important.

Knowing when you’re taking time off isn’t all that critical.  Knowing when you;re procrastinating is.  Not so you can beat yourself up for not having enough willpower.  Often, willpower has nothing to do with it.  You procrastinate for a fairly specific reason.  Often it’s hidden and rooted in resistance, but understanding that you are procrastinating is a huge first step in getting past it and moving on with the important things.

Tune in tomorrow when we talk some more about the Procrastination beast and his sometimes misguided sense of loyalty.

There were a couple of things last week that were worth mentioning.  First, I found that merely showing up and putting words down was no longer acceptable.  I had to start editing.  Giving things a little more punch.  This resulted in deleting far more words last week than I published.  In fact, for every word that made it to a final version, there were at least 2 that didn’t.  This felt like a lot of wasted effort.  Why couldn’t I just write what I wanted to say and leave it at that?  But, I can’t so pondering the why isn’t going to do anything but cause frustration.  This means posts are going to take me longer to write, and, I should leave them for a day or so before editing.  So, I suddenly have to become a lot more organised.  No more writing at the last minute. (well, that’s the plan anyway).

I also wrote 2 pieces last week.  One which I loved, and one which I debated posting and eventually went with it because I knew it was a necessary post even though I didn’t feel good about it.  Guess which one got ignored and which one had a huge impact.  Now, sometimes I’m a little slow, and lessons require a couple of blows to the head to sink in, so, it’s taken me a little while to realise this.  The direction I thought I wanted to take, and the direction I should be taking are not quite the same.  They head off on similar tracks but then diverge.  While they may meet up again in the future, I’ve come to realise that if they don’t, it doesn’t matter.  It’s time to follow the path that has become clear.

The new path is already showing promise.  I’ve agreed to become a regular guest poster over at An Encouraging Bird.  I’m going to be posting a “blend of gentle practicality, positive problem-solving, and engaging storytelling” (such a lovely phrase courtesy of Birdy).  I was surprised, honoured and completely thrilled with the request, and I look forward to many posts there.

The second exciting thing on the new path is the Dragon Hunting Task Force, because hunting the dragon is easier in a group.  This will comprise of at least 2 group calls, 2 extremely targeted worksheets, and a one-on-one follow up session every month.  (There will be more, but I’m not entirely sure what, so I can’t announce it) The numbers will be limited and I’m going to be launching it on the 8th of November.  To get a feel for what does and doesn’t work, and to figure out how many people the task force should comprise of, I’m going to be running a beta test from the 6th of  September to the 18th of October.  I haven’t yet decided how many people to include in the beta, but once I have, I’ll be offering the slots up to the people on the Dragon Slayer Training Program first (you can sign up below).

So sign up now, and when we slay the Dragon, there’ll be more than enough trophies to go around.

Next, I though I would do something on The Long Kiss Goodnight, a movie that proves that Samuel L Jackson always gets the best lines in movies.  I was going to take some of the quotes and do a little thing on each of them, but, that didn’t pan out either.

Then I thought, let’s combine those two.  A John Woo movie with Samuel L Jackson.  I couldn’t think of one.  Google to the rescue, only it didn’t.  I guess if it doesn’t exist, even google can’t find it.  Should’ve asked the librarian to go look in L-Space (but I sdon’t speak orangutang)  The closest I found was “They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life”, said by Mr Jackson. (bonus points if you know the movie)  but I couldn’t think of anything there either.

So, Instead, I return to the classics.

When there’s something strange, in your neighbourhood.

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

The villagers decide.

Cows are common, and if we all chip in together, we can repay the cattle farmers.  So, the Dragon gets fed.

Three months, 26 cows and a much fatter dragon later, another village meeting is held.  The rules are different now.  Many of the families are unable to afford the cost of the cows.  Couple this with the significantly reduced number of virgins in the village,  Not surprising, after all, in times of Dragon it’s not wise to remain a virgin, and the vote changes.  Everyone suffers if cows are sacrificed, whereas only 1 virgin is needed, so it’s only one, maybe two families that will feel the effect.

They draw lots and the virgin gets chosen and tied in the square for the Dragon.  The Dragon is amused that the sacrifice is male, but given how difficult it’s becoming to find virgins he takes the sacrifice and leaves the village in peace.

The same options were presented in both cases, however, there were different circumstances.  The second meeting though there weren’t any villagers who stood up and said “Maybe if we continue to feed the Dragon cows he’ll eventually leave us alone”.  No, they looked at the rapidly shrinking stock of virgins and realised that if they left it much longer there wouldn’t be the virgin sacrifice option, and they’d be stuck handing over cows.

That’s just it.  we all make decisions based on how much time, energy or money we have invested in the past, instead of looking at things as they stand at present.

So, are you going to continue to throw cows at the problem, or are you going to sacrifice the virgin?