Filipe's Blog

Four Commitments That Can Shape Your Kid’s Hearts in a Tech-filled World

2018-10-18T10:55:00.000-07:00

One of the biggest challenges a parent faces these days is connecting to their children’s hearts, in spite of their eyes (and ours) continually drawn to tech devices.

Our attention spans are at a historical low, our senses are overstimulated with thousands of distractions per minute, and the speed of change has definitely outpaced most of our abilities — making us feel constantly behind or below par.

I don’t have this figured out at all and I probably struggle as much as others. However, there are some mindsets, tools, and strategies that have helped my wife and I tremendously over the years.

I worded these as commitments we make, but they are not necessary verbal commitments to a child, but personal commitments we make as parents in our own hearts:

1. I Will Help You Develop Your Circle of InfluenceWe often call this our 360 — the people that surround us as mentors and friends. Mandy and I know that as our kids get older, they begin to want to learn and model their lives more and more from those outside our inner family circle. It’s just reality. So we spend lots of time praying for their friends and for the right leaders to invest in their lives. Here are some practical ways to help shape their 360:

Encourage Mentorship - Encourage your kids to have a mentor by talking about it and modeling it. Doesn’t have to be an official mentor, just an older person they can talk to and learn from. It can be a church small group leader, a family-friend, even an aunt or uncle.

My oldest daughter Lily loves it when Joy, a worship leader in our church who’s in her 20s, takes her out to get bobas. Or when Lucille, one of my co-workers, shows up to her games to cheer for her.

Influence Their Friendships - If there are some friends you want your kids to get to know more, arrange for that to happen by inviting them to sports games with your family, birthday parties, or other fun activities. Don’t make it weird, just make it happen as naturally as possible.

2. I Will Include You in What I’m Doing and Learning

In America I think there’s too much “them” and “us” in parenting. It starts with food when they are young. Kids get the kids meals while parents get the “real” food. It’s not a huge deal, unless that mindset creeps in everything else we do, so that our lives are totally separate — I watch this, you watch that. I’ll volunteer here, you play the video games there, etc.

There’s something about cultures where families do things together. In our home we’ve tried to include our kids in as much as possible, as long as it didn’t interfere with the quality of our marriage. When we cook, we all eat the same food. When we serve, we try to serve together. When we build something, we can all participate.

Here are some other ideas:

Go on prayer walks and invite your kids to join you.
When you clean the house, make it a family project and make it fun.
When possible, take your kids to work with you.
Volunteer at church or community together.

3. I Will Prioritize Individual Time with You

Whether you have one child or five like me, it’s really important to prioritize one-on-one time with them. In my case, I have to be really intentional to not just “group parent” them, so I’ve developed a couple strategies for this:

Take your kids on individual outings. I call it “dates” when taking the girls and “outings” when taking the boys. Camping, breakfast, dinners, field-trips, bike rides, etc.
On school mornings, I often invite one of my kids to wake up a little earlier and have breakfast with me. It’s only about 20 minutes, but they love the time. I make them a nice breakfast, I share a verse of Scripture with them, encourage them, and pray over them.

4. I Will Give You More Freedom as You Show More Responsibility
We call this “parenting through the funnel”. We only give more freedom as they show more responsibility. Doesn’t matter if all their friends have phones or can play five hours of video games a day, if they want those privileges, they must earn it. Here’s what the funnel approach looks like:

The younger generation is really struggling with entitlement — feeling like it’s their right to have anything they want. The only way to combat that is by developing a culture of gratitude in our homes. You show way more care and gratitude for a toy that you earned, than one that was given to you (especially when you thought it was your right to have it).

My love you get unconditionally, most other things you must earn. 🙂

Here are some examples of how to do this:

Give your kids an opportunity to earn tech-time by serving.
Give more choices and decision-making opportunities as they earn trust.
Give more freedom of apps to use, screen-time, movies to watch, places to go, as they show maturity with the freedoms they currently have. It’s the funnel approach.

Healing, pain, comparison, and our personal mission.

2018-03-04T15:00:00.000-08:00

Usually I don’t write blogs like this, but this one is intended specifically for Christians. It might be a little confusing for those of you friends who don’t follow Jesus and don’t know much about “church” culture.

I love the Church. With all her mess and brokenness, I still believe that God’s chosen vehicle for taking the message of Jesus into the world is His people, the Church.

However, one of the things that break my heart is seeing Christians belittle themselves or others who express their faith differently than them. It’s the same mistake that many first century followers of Jesus made, which Paul addressed in 1 Corinthians 11. In my opinion, this usually happens because of some key misunderstandings:

MISUNDERSTANDING #1: Projecting our gifts or passions on others. Almost every person with a strong gift or passion makes the mistake of judging others through the lenses of their own strengths.

We think other Christians should define their ministries in the same way we define ours. Here are some examples of how Christians with specific spiritual gifts and passions project their gift on others and expect them to define “true” ministry their way:

Teaching-gifted people say: “ministry should be defined by Gospel-centric teaching”

Evangelism-gifted people: “it’s all about reaching the lost”

Tongues-gifted people: “it’s the sign that you really have the Holy Spirit”

Healing-gifted people: “Jesus healed people, so that’s what we should all be doing”

Deliverance-gifted people: “all believers must take authority over demons in order to do effective ministry”

Leadership-gifted people: “the effectiveness of the Church rests in the hands of it’s leaders, so it’s all about leadership development”

Apostle-gifted people: “Church planting is the most effective way to reach people, so we should all prioritize it.”

Prophecy-gifted people: “the sign of spiritual maturity is hearing God and sharing that ‘word’ with others.”

Mercy-gifted people: “Preach the Gospel, use words only when necessary. Being like Jesus is helping the poor and needy, so we should all be doing that.”

Most of those statements above have truth in them. What’s bad is thinking others should be the same as us. Even worse is diminishing other Christians who express their faith differently than us. Why not thank God for His specific grace in our lives and appreciate the difference in others?

I actually think it’s ok for local churches and individuals to fulfill their mission of spreading the Gospel in different ways. Some expand the Kingdom by being more evangelism focused, others by being healing-focused, others by focusing on teaching deep biblical theology from the stage.

MISUNDERSTANDING #2: Interpreting passages of Scriptures for the individual, when it’s meant for the body.

Many Christians diminish others because they believe that ALL Christians have ALL gifts (spiritual abilities). They quote verses like Mark 16:17 “And these signs will follow those who believe: they will be able to cast out demons in My name, speak with tongues… and lay their hands on the sick to heal them.”

It is true that the Church (followers of Jesus) together has every spiritual ability that Jesus had on Earth, but that does not apply to the individual (1 Corinthians 12:30). There is no ONE person like Jesus on the Earth, but we TOGETHER are Christ’s body on the Earth.

When a coach says to his basketball team, “Go and dunk the ball, make threes, block shots, steal the ball, and win this game”, he is not expecting every player to all those things. He expects them to combine their unique abilities to accomplish their mission.

This is why Paul devoted much of His teaching (1 Corinthians 12-14) to explain the way the body works. Different gifts and strengths complementing each other to accomplish the mission.

MISUNDERSTANDING #3: Assuming God’s will is always to heal and keep us from pain and suffering.

I’m really grateful for the rising emphasis on healing happening in some circles of Christianity. I think it’s needed and it is part of the Holy Spirit’s work. However, we Christians are often so bad at taking the pendulum farther than it’s meant to go.

There’s a real problem in my opinion with believing that God’s will on earth is always to keep us safe, healed, and pain-free. That would mean that Jesus and all his apostles were out of God's will most of their lives, since they were often in pain, in oppression, and suffering.

Many in the “healing-world” quote Jesus’ prayer to prove their theology: “may your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven” (Luke 11), so they say, “is there sickness in Heaven? Nope, so God’s will is for there to be no sickness or pain be on the earth also”.

Here are some problems with that assumption:

It communicates that human choices have no impact in God’s work or will. You can eat McDonalds everyday, drink crap, make bad decisions, & God’s will be to heal you.
It’s hypocritical unless you say God will heal every leg cut off, every eye with glasses, every cavity in your teeth, etc.
Also, when does it end with age? In Heaven you don’t age, so is that His will on the Earth? Wrong way to interpret the passage.

The assumption that God always wants to heal can often sound faith-filled, but it can be hurtful and cause deeper pain. The better approach is discernment.

To some people healing and miracles do not propel them closer to God. Jesus himself did not do miracles when he discerned it wouldn’t help accomplish the mission of salvation.
It makes people think they are faithless or doing something wrong, when often they are not. A mentor of mine lost his 7 year-old daughter to cancer and many told him she didn’t get her healing because of her lack of faith or sin in the family, which was untrue and hurtful.

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. God hates seeing his children in pain. He hates sickness and brokenness. God has given us authority and power to heal. I’ve seen him do it in me and through me.

However, our ultimate mission is to make disciples, not bring physical healing to people or keep people from pain. Gifts, power, miracles, and healings are a vehicle or tool for the mission of restoring others to their Creator. That’s why He would often send his followers to places where He knew they would suffer, and they did. And the Kingdom advanced. And they were right in the middle of God’s will.

Sometimes people will heal, trust, and be saved more through watching us go through trials then be healed from it. That’s the story of Paul’s life. Paul himself sometimes did not receive a healing he hoped for (2 Cor. 12:8). God said His grace is enough. All disciples ended up suffering and dying without healing.

That’s why SO MUCH of Scripture is about enduring pain, persevering through trials, and being persistent in our faith.

A BETTER APPROACH

#1 What if instead of projecting our spiritual abilities and passions on others, we honestly learned to appreciate them, even if they “seem weaker” and don’t possess our strengths?

“There are many amazing working gifts in the church, but it is the same God who energizes them all in all who have the gifts.Each believer has received a gift that manifests the Spirit’s power and presence. That gift is given for the good of the whole community… You are the body of the Anointed, the Liberating King; each and every one of you is a vital member.” 1 Corinthian 12:6-7

“The members who seem to have the weaker functions are necessary to keep the body moving; the body parts that seem less important we treat as some of the most valuable… that way there should be no division in the body; instead, all the parts mutually depend on and care for one another” 1 Corinthians 12:22-25 (The Voice)

#2 What if instead of reading the Scriptures through the eyes of “individualism”, we began to read it through a “collective” perspective?

The authority of Jesus was given to the Church, the Body of Jesus on the earth. Without other Christians you and I individually cannot be the full Jesus to the world, sorry.

"Because of the grace allotted to me, I can respectfully tell you not to think of yourselves as being more important than you are; devote your minds to sound judgment since God has assigned to each of us a measure of faith.For in the same way that one body has so many different parts, each with different functions; we, too—the many—are different parts that form one body in the Anointed One. Each one of us is joined with one another, and we become together what we could not be alone." Romans 12:3 -5 (The Voice)

To some he assigns the task of advancing God’s Kingdom by boldly evangelizing others they don’t know, others do it by teaching with great wisdom, others by doing signs and wonders through them, others do it by serving behind the scenes, others do it by living with great compassion toward those in need. Together we are stronger, let’s stop comparing.

#3 What if instead of assuming God’s will is always to heal and keep us safe, we learned to discern each situation through the lens of our mission?

Jesus is more concerned with our hearts being healed and restored to Him, then our bodies being pain-free and safe. The internal matters more than the external. The promise of external prosperity of the Old Testament was an illustration of the internal prosperity we would receive in Jesus.

He can heal, deliver, restore, save and he’ll often do it though our pain and suffering. Be God’s voice, hands, and power in people’s lives, but do it within how you are built – be happy with that, don’t belittle others, and know that together in our differences we reflect Jesus to the world.

#4 What if we rejoiced over the eternal salvation of souls more than the temporary healing of bodies?

The Great Commission Jesus gave us was not to go into the world and heal it, but bring salvation to it. Healing and miracles can be a vehicle of salvation, but many rejoice over it more than they rejoice over lost souls finding eternal life.

In Luke 10:20 Jesus actually corrected his disciples who were more excited about the "supernatural" abilities they were experiencing, than they were at the fact that their names were registered in Heaven.

Let's define the "success" of our lives and ministry in the same way Jesus did. The sick who are healed will still die in this life. But the soul who finds Jesus lives forever - that's worth rejoicing over even more!

Open Hands: a faith-filled response to problems and pain.

2017-01-05T12:48:00.000-08:00

This past year I went through a program called "Soul Care" which is designed for pastors and Christian business leaders in the Bay Area to deepen their "with God" live. There's so much I've journaled and learned in the program, but here I just want to share one aspect of it that has brought great freedom to my soul.

As I write this, I'm actually sitting at home with much pain on my shoulder/neck area due to a slipped disk. I've had to sit at home and do very little as my body heals. In spite of the pain and situation, I've actually felt quite at peace. Let me explain why.

One of the main things God has been teaching me over the last year and a half is to open my hands. To trust Him with outcomes. To invite Him into all situations, hard ones and easy ones. See, the more I search the Scriptures, the more I realize that what some people see as "strong faith" is really not what God sees as strong.

As an example, here's a glimpse into how many people respond to sickness based on their level of faith:

NO FAITH: I'm sick and I'll just have to put up with it on my own. God has nothing to do with this.
LITTLE FAITH: Might say a quick prayer, take meds, with very little expectation or awareness of God moving.
GOOD FAITH: Might pray for healing and ask others to do the same. Expects God to show up in the healing, might get disappointed if healing doesn't come. Or might blame it on lack of faith.
MUCH FAITH: Invites God into the pain and opens their hands to whatever will most deepen their relationship with God, whether it is healing, the humility that comes from pain, the endurance that is developed through suffering, or anything else.

In the words of Ignatius of Loyola:

"Everything has the potential of calling forth in us a deeper response to our life in God. Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to the deepening of God's life in me."

That is for me what opening my hands means. One of my mentors reminded me this morning of this. He said, "the idea is not to fix our desires on health or sickness. For everything has the potential of calling forth in us a deeper response of our life in God." So I got up this morning and instead of being grumpy that my neck is not yet healed, I invited God into it. I went on a prayer walk and allowed God to shape my soul right in the middle of my pain.

This is a powerful new level of faith for me. In fact, I think it's the kind of faith that the followers of Jesus in the first century so passionately wrote about and called us into. Not a faith that is only strong when we get our way, when things are comfortable, or when God shows up in giving us an escape from pain.

Peter, instead of calling believers to ask God to remove their suffering, he said this: "These trials will show that your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world" 1 Peter 1:7

James, instead of calling people to rejoice in the deliverance from pain, he said this: "When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy..." James 1:2

Paul, instead of instructing believers to avoid problems, he said this: "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance." Romans 5

This year I've rejoiced in seeing God miraculously heal people close to me. I've also rejoiced in the intimacy that I gained with Jesus as I faced pain that He chose not to relieve me from. I'm also choosing to except my trials and difficulties as potential ways God might want to deepen His love in me. It's very liberating.

Here's the point: God will use every situation in our lives to bring us near to Him. That's the goal. That's where life is. That's the invitation he gives us. Not of a life on earth without pain, sickness, or problems, but a life where every single situation has the potential of calling forth in us a deeper response to our life in God.

So whether you are going through a difficult divorce, fighting an illness, or grieving loss, remember that in all situations there is a gift waiting. If you invite God in, He will use it to bring you closer to His heart.

I encourage you to join me in believing and praying this with open hands to God:

I want and I choose what better leads to the deepening of God's life in me.

Triple Bunk Bed Project

2016-05-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

So with a large family you sometimes have to get creative with your living spaces. As we were preparing to move into our new home, we decided to put all 3 of our boys in the same room, so that we could use the other empty room as a Play Room for all the kids to enjoy.

I then decided to build our own triple bunk bed. Mandy and I looked up some cool designs on Pinterest, then made our own.

Most of what I used can be bought at a local Lowes, Home Depot, Orchard Supply, etc. I used Redwood because it is smoother and more durable for furniture building.

I also recommend purchasing a Kreg Jig which makes this project a lot easier.

You might want to double check materials and measurements, since I changed some things on-the-go.

MATERIALS:

Ten 2"x6"x8' Redwood
Three 1" Plywood (for bottom of bed frames)
Six "L" brackets for corners of bed frames
Three 3/4-in x 5-ft Black Iron Pipe
Five 3/4-in x 18" Black Iron Pipe
Thirteen 3/4-in Diameter Black Iron Floor Flange Fitting
Three 3/4-in Diameter Black Iron Tee Fitting
Ten 3/4-in Dia 90-Degree Black Iron Street Elbow Fitting
Eighteen Heavy Duty "L" Brackets/Braces for holding Plywood
VOC-free paint
Box of 3/4" screws
Box of 2"screws
Box of 4" screws (for connecting frame to wall)
Curtains
Metal cable for curtain
Three IKEA lamps

TOOLS

Know Your Source

2015-08-21T10:02:00.001-07:00

One of the most important questions a person must wrestle with is what their source will be. Source of belief, source of values, source of motivation, source of strength, source of purpose.

Not asking that question leads to a waste of life, which is what most people settle with. A life without solid foundation leads to instability, insecurity, and lack on impact.

The source of anything is directly related to where it begins - that's where you find the answers. It's in the mind of the creator, in the original intention of the designer, in the hands of the author.

When we connect to our source, our hearts come alive. Our motivation is clear. Our purpose is unfolded. In our case as humans, the answer is in God.

We look at this Son (Jesus) and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God’s original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. Colossians 1:15-18 (MSG)

Everything, absolutely everything, got started in him and finds its purpose in Him. Until we realize that, something will always feel like is missing inside of us. It's impossible to be fully alive apart from a relational connection to our Creator. Impossible.

I've tried and didn't work. I see hundreds of people around me trying every week to make it apart from God. It's an empty journey. It's meaningless.

When we realize that God is our source everything changes. Our lives are fully His. Our purpose is to know Him and make Him known. Our values come from His Words. Our goals are based on His Kingdom. Our careers are simply tools for a bigger purpose.

When God is our source, our motivation is to please Him only. Our pleasure comes from making Him happy. Our pain has meaning. Our grief has hope. Our strengths have direction. Our energy impacts eternity. Our struggles develop in us endurance to keep striving forward.

Don't rest until you connect to your Creator because He is the only that can make your heart come fully alive.

All humanity finds shelter
in the shadow of your wings.
You feed them from the abundance of your own house,
letting them drink from your river of delights.
For you are the fountain of life,
the light by which we see.

Psalm 36:7-9

Santos Adoption - Playing in the rain and "firsts'...

2014-11-24T03:35:00.000-08:00

One of the best parts of our time here in Brazil with our new sons was watching them experience lots of "firsts". The expressions on the face of a child having positive first-time experiences and emotions are priceless.

Our boys were born into a very poor household. Their mom was in the "sex business" and basically abandoned them early on. Their dad was loving, but what most people would call a "loser". He couldn't take care of the boys, so he neglected them also.

The boys spent much of their life in an orphanage, where they did not receive the adequate care, love, and nurturing that kids should receive. The social workers here are incredible and really do care, but it's nearly impossible to give good attention to the amount of kids under their care.

Here are some of the "firsts" that our boys experienced this month:

First time having mom and dad tell them a story at bedtime
First time having mom and dad sing to them
First time flying a kite
First time having a picnic
First time going to the movie theater
First time taking a family vacation
First time staying in a hotel
First time going to the mall
First time eating in a restaurant
First time eating a burger
First time eating an omelet
First time playing in the rain

The first few nights we put them to bed, they would get tears in their eyes as we kissed them, sang to them, and prayed for them. It was obvious that their love tank was pretty empty, so they soaked up every moment.

Here's a quick video of the day we let them play in the rain. Pure joy:

Adoption - Sugar cane juice, kites, picnic, capivaras, soccer...

2014-11-23T13:36:00.001-08:00

Our first few days as a family of 7 were pretty interesting. We knew very little about our new sons, so we spent a lot of time just hanging out and getting to know each other.

Slowly we realized that they had never really experienced many of the things that kids normally experience. Things like family picnics, flying kites, playgrounds, etc.

We also realized that they didn't really know how to play in a healthy way with other kids, so though there was lots of joy, there was also a lot of frustration. Every day we have been working on how to communicate well, play together without fighting, and thinking of others more than self.

Here's a glimpse into some of the fun things we did our first few days with the boys:

Adoption - Meeting our two new sons

2014-11-22T05:10:00.000-08:00

Wow. Our lives have drastically changed. I knew it would, but it was hard to really know how much it would change until we actually met the boys we have adopted.

About a month or so ago, we came down to Curitiba, Brazil to start the "guardianship period" with our two new sons. We spent a month with them as social workers here in Brazil met with us and evaluated our new family dynamics. Two days ago, the judge approved our adoption and now we are officially a family of SEVEN!

It was definitely one of the most difficult months of our lives, but we are confident we are doing what God has asked us to do and His grace has been abundant in the midst of many challenging days. I've been meditating on Hebrews 12-13 this whole month. Many days when I was drained and tested to my limit, the Holy Spirit would encourage me with words like this:

"Now stay focused on Jesus, who designed and perfected our faith. He endured the cross and ignored the shame of that death because He focused on the joy that was set before Him... So lift up your hands that are dangling and brace your weakened knees. Make straight paths for your feet..." Hebrews 12:2, 12 NLT

The whole experience has been a huge mixture of emotions. So much joy in obeying God and seeing two boys that had a terrible upbringing finally be a part of a family. So much frustration and feelings of inadequacy as we faced parenting issues we have never faced before.

Adoption is messy, but it's beautiful. Mandy and I are growing so much through this. It's hard to write it all down, but we'll share more details with time. For now, take a look at some of the highlights of our experience here in Brazil.

Watch the joy of these two brothers as they experience "family" in a healthy way for the first time. This is our first day meeting Rafael (10) and Felipe (9):

What has most contributed to family health (Part 1: Marriage)

2014-05-19T09:43:00.001-07:00

Here are some simple things that have most contributed to the health of my marriage in the last 11 years:

Consistent date nights – Since we got married over 11 years ago, we’ve been going on date nights pretty much every week. After having kids, we began to rotate babysitting with close friends. They go on a date on Thursday nights while we care for their kids and put them to bed, and then they care for our kids Friday nights. Date nights are intentional face-to-face time and have been one of the best ways for us to improve communication and build intimacy.

Evening prayer – Mandy and I have a habit of praying together every night before going to sleep, which is great for several reasons. One, obviously, we believe God moves when we pray. Secondly, it’s a way for us to clear things up before ending the day. It’s very hard to pray together if you are mad, angry, or have unresolved conflict.

Time trade-offs – My friend and pastor, Andy Wood, is the one that first modeled this for me. The idea is that you arrange with your spouse “trade-offs” for times when you have to be away for personal or work reasons. For example, if I have to work evenings several days in a row because of work demands, I’ll arrange ahead of time for us to have special family time the week following, so there’s something for them to look forward to.

Pre-planning getaways and vacations – For the last several years, Mandy and I have been taking time in the beginning of each year to pre-plan a Spring and a Fall romantic getaway (no kids) and a fun family vacation during the Summer. We plan it right after a really busy season as a way to get refreshed and keep the romance alive ☺. Sometimes if the budget is tight, we’ll just do a one night away nearby, but it still makes a huge difference.

Sharing spiritual experiences – This has been been one of the best ways for us to grow personally and in our marriage. Serving together with our church, reading books and sharing our learnings, going to conferences and being challenged by men and women of God, and spending time with Jesus and sharing with each other what He is teaching us.

When God changes His mind.

2013-11-05T07:27:00.002-08:00

The concept of God changing His mind is complicated and hard to understand. In fact, many people have a hard time with even considering this reality because all you've been taught is that God "is the same yesterday, today, and forever" (Hebrews 13:8) - so He does not change any part of Him.

The truth is that though God's character is unchanging, for some reason He allows us to play a part in the unfolding of the human story. Some people try to fight that understanding, but you really cannot deny the dozens and dozens of biblical passages that clearly describe God changing His mind, often based on human request.

As a father, I can understand this more and more. You have a desire (or will) for your kids, but you often will bend, change, or even give in based on their requests, needs, or desires. I'm not talking about bending on morality or character issues, I'm talking mostly about non-moral issues.

One biblical example:

Exodus 4 - God tells Moses to go speak to Pharaoh and lead the people of Israel out of Egyptian slavery. It's a very clear command. But Moses pleaded with the Lord, "O Lord I'm not very good with words. I never have been..." (4:10). God again reaffirms His desire for Moses to do this and even says, "Who makes a person's mouth... is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you..." (4:12).

God's clear will and desire was for Moses to be the spokesman. But Moses again pleaded, "Lord, please! Send someone else" (4:13). Then the Lord became angry with Moses. "All right," he said. "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he speaks well... I will instruct both of you in what to do. Aaron will be your spokesman to the people" (4:15-16).

This happened several times with Moses and many other men and women of God throughout the Scriptures.

What does this tell us about God? Well, it speaks of who God is and what He is like. He is a loving father, He hears our requests, He understands our weaknesses, He cares about our desires, He doesn't ignore our words, though they are nothing compared to His. He often allows us to learn from our own choices and mistakes, but sticks with us throughout the process. He is gracious.

What does this show us? It shows us that we are valued before God. He listens when we talk. We can talk to God as one talks to a friend. We can be confident that our prayers count, they can actually alter the course of life. We are not robots with no say in the human story.

We should also note that just because God sometimes allows us to make our own choices, it does not mean they are the best choices. We should always pursue His will, His desire, His glory, not our own. However, we can be confident in approaching God, knowing that He cares and listens. In fact, the Scriptures say that often "you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it" (James 4:2).

Seek Him. Talk to Him. Pursue Him. He cares.

Adoption Update: Dossier Sent!

2013-09-17T20:40:00.000-07:00

ORIGINALLY POSTED BY MANDY @ MANDYSANTOS.COM
>> More info at SantosAdoption.com

What’s Happening:I apologize for the lack of updates lately. But there’s not been much to say.

Over the last six weeks, our paperwork has been en route to different state offices across the country, the U.S. State Department, and two different Brazilian Consulates here in the U.S. It felt like a miracle to get them all signed, stamped, and returned.

Saturday I received our final document.
Sunday afternoon I stood at the copy machine for over an hour copying all of our paperwork.
Yesterday I mailed it off to our agency.

Our dossier is done and this is something to rejoice over. I’m slowly crawling out of the mound of paperwork, and today I feel about a hundred pounds lighter. I spent this morning organizing every receipt, every donation, and every copy of every document. I can now rest and put that part behind me…for a little while at least.

But with where we stand in our process, not all is hopeful. Not yet at least.

Several months ago we received an update from our agency. It read: “We learned last week that the state where our agency works in Brazil has put a suspension in place for international adoptions.”Suspended. For how long? No one knows.

Knowing this information going into our final stage of the paperwork process was reason not to rush…too much. While I did everything in my power to finish the paperwork as quickly as possible, I did not stress when the State Department took three weeks longer than expected in returning their document. (I guess with everything going on in Syria, John Kerry had a lot going on.)

When we started this adoption process,what I felt most strongly was that we were to put ourselves in the position to receive. Now that we have our paperwork done, that’s the position we are finally in. And that’s why I rejoice. I feel like I’ve done what God asked me to. That’s ALL I can do. Worrying. Wondering. Stressing about this suspension will not change anything.

Now we wait. We pray. We prepare. And we know God is in control.

What We’ve Done (since May):

Received I800A approval
Sent documents for state certification (California & South Carolina)
Received documents
Sent documents to the Brazilian Consulate (San Francisco & Atlanta)
Mailed Dossier

How Much We’ve Spent:

$1204- State Certification
$384- Brazilian Consulates
$1700- AWAA Mid-Program Fee
$2600- Dossier & Translation Service
$2000- Post Adoption Deposit
$23- Postage

Total to date: $$15,134

What You’ve Done:

I’m amazed, humbled, and in shock. Honestly, words cannot express how grateful I am for every single person who has given toward this adoption. The cost is so overwhelming, but I knew going into this that God would provide. And He is. It’s so amazing the timing of all the donations coming in. Right before we have a big expense, a donation comes in to match almost perfectly the amount needed.

To date YOU have given $26, 060.

Right around the corner we will be paying our international agency cost which totals nearly $10,000. If you look at the difference between what we’ve spent and what’s been given you will notice the funds are in and ready to go.

How You Can Pray:

Pray for the dossier (paperwork) as it is en route to our agency and then off to Brazil. Pray for the hands that receive it.
Pray for this next phase of waiting. For us to be in tune to God’s leading and direction.
Pray for Brazil and the suspension. Pray for the government agencies involved to sort out complicated bureaucracy so that orphans can have a home/family to go to.

More to follow soon. Now that I’m out of the paperwork stage, I may have more to say. It’s been a long road. I understand a little more why they call it the “paperwork pregnancy”.

Why we're adopting 2 kids

2013-07-26T01:13:00.000-07:00

When Mandy and I mention we are adopting 2 kids we get many strange looks and, honestly, we understand why. Here are some reasons:

We already have 3 kids. Most people in the Bay area have 1 or 2 or none.
We are in our early 30s. People in their 30's are usually just starting to think about marriage or maybe kids.
We don't own much. We rent our house and don't have much in savings.
5 kids don't fit in regular vehicles :)
5 kids are not easy to take care of. In fact 3 kids are not easy.
Adopting older kids means they have many deep scars and abuse to overcome.

The ultimate reason we are adopting is because we sense God calling us to do it. I know it's hard to understand that when you don't know God, but after following Jesus for many years, we are confident that obeying Him is always the best choice.

Aside from the calling, there are many things that God used to shape my heart throughout the years and prepare me for this calling. Here are some of them:

MY PARENTS
My mom and dad are some of the most loving and selfless people I know. I grew up in an extremely generous and outwardly focused home. They raised us to always value others above ourselves. It doesn't mean I was always like that. In fact, a big chunk of my life was all about me. But the example of my parents engrained that value in my heart. My dad secretly helps and financially supports more people that anyone else I know. Most of the time I only find out years later. My mom has probably the biggest heart of anyone I know. I have so many memories of her serving food to street kids and going out of her way to help people in need.

A LIFE PRINCIPLE
One of the principles that Mandy and I have most embraced in life is that "you should do for ONE what you wish you could do for ALL" (thank you Andy Stanley). If everyone thought of life that way, most of the world's biggest problems would be solved. So instead of letting big issues like poverty, lostness, sickness... freeze us from doing anything, we just do our part - do for 1, even when you can't do for all. We can't save every kid in every orphanage, but we can bring 1 or 2 home.

MY CULTURE
I grew up in Sao Paulo, Brazil where there are hundreds of thousands of children and adults living on the streets. Every stop light they come to your car window asking for a piece of bread. You see them under every bridge, washing themselves in sewage water, digging through trash to find a little bit of food. They didn't choose that life. It's not like many homeless in America, whose bad choices led them to homelessness. Most of these kids in Brazil living in extreme poverty were just born into that reality. Those images have never left my heart and mind.

MY WIFE
On a personal and practical note, the only reason God knows we can do this is because Mandy is an amazing mom. I am so blessed to have a wife that understands the significance in investing in our children. You can build a great business, make a lot of money, buy a lot of toys, but all of that is meaningless when you die. When you have kids, they are your biggest disciples. Investing in lives is more significant than anything else. My wife gets that.

SCRIPTURE

I can't read the Bible without being challenged to love sacrificially. I hear God speaking to me through it about my selfishness and His fatherly desire to rescue and save humanity. The amazing thing is He wants to use us in that mission to change people's eternities. If Jesus was willing to give up His divine privileges, empty himself of Glory, and live a servant's life on earth, then I can give up some of my comforts to help others.

TO READ MORE ABOUT OUR ADOPTION, GO HERE: WWW.SANTOSADOPTION.COM

“Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress…” James 1:27 (NLT)

The Holy Spirit & His Gifts

2013-03-24T21:35:00.002-07:00

Taught at South Bay Church's UNPLUGGED College Group

The Holy Spirit - from beginning to now:

Humans were originally made as “temples” of God’s Spirit

Genesis 2:7 “God formed the man from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the man’s nostrils, and the man became a living person.”

When we sinned, the Holy Spirit could no longer live in us.

He was often "upon” or “on” people, but not “living in” them.

Prophets of the OT foretold of a day where God promised to make a way again for His Holy Spirit to live in us. Which would require for the problem of SIN to be dealt with.

Joel 2:28 Then in those days I will pour My Spirit to all humanity; your children will boldly and prophetically speak the word of God. Your elders will dream dreams; your young warriors will see visions. No one will be left out. In those days I will offer My spirit to all servants, both male and female.

Isaiah 44:3 (see John 7:37) For I will pour out water to quench your thirst and to irrigate your parched fields. And I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants, and my blessing on your children.

Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart. And I will put my Spirit in you so that you will follow my decrees and be careful to obey my regulations.

John the Baptist, who came to prepare the way for Jesus, also reminded the people of this promise:

Luke 3:16 “I baptize you with water; but someone is coming soon who is greater than I am—so much greater that I’m not even worthy to be his slave and untie the straps of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.”

Jesus also reassured His followers that a time is coming where the Holy Spirit would be poured out again. He would live in us. Read John 16

After the resurrection, Jesus told His followers to wait until the promise is fulfilled before they begin their ministry.

Luke 24:49 “And now I will send the Holy Spirit, just as my Father promised. But stay here in the city until the Holy Spirit comes and fill you with power from Heaven.”

Acts 1:4 Once when he was eating with them, he commanded them, “Do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you the gift he promised, as I told you before. 5 John baptized with water, but in just a few days you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit.

Then it came, the day when the Holy Spirit was poured out and the promise fulfilled: (Acts 2)

Acts 2:38 Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is to you, and to your children, and even to the Gentiles—all who have been called by the Lord our God.”

Those who turn from their sins and believe in Jesus receive the Holy Spirit, who then gives the followers of Jesus spiritual gifts – spirit enabled abilities – that we can use as we serve others and build God’s Kingdom.

DEFINITION: A Spiritual Gift is a special divine empowerment given freely to each believer by the Holy Spirit to accomplish a given ministry according to His grace and discernment to be used within the context of the Body of Christ.

The term "spiritual gifts" comes from the Greek words charismata (gifts) and pneumatika (spirits). They are the plural forms of charisma, meaning "expression of grace," and pneumatikon meaning "expression of Spirit." While there are different kinds of gifts (1 Corinthians 12:4), generally speaking, spiritual gifts are God-given graces (special abilities, offices, or manifestations) meant for works of service, to benefit and build up the body of Christ as a whole.

1 Corinthians 12-14

Romans 12:6-8

Ephesians 4

Three Common Ways to Category Spiritual Gifts:

1. Motivational Gifts

This gift of God’s grace shapes how the believer views life, relates to others, and impacts the Body of Christ. A motivational gift can be compared to a set of eyeglasses from God, given so that the believer can see people and circumstances through that particular set of “lenses.”

Prophecy: Reveals truth by exposing sin, so that fellowship with God can be restored and/or maintained
Serving: Demonstrates love by meeting practical needs, usually through tangible work
Teaching: Discovers and validates truth so that the Church maintains accuracy
Exhorting: Encourages Christians to grow spiritually by teaching, discipling, and counseling others
Giving: Conserves and shares resources in order to meet needs
Organizing: Carries out projects by recruiting workers, organizing tasks, or delegating responsibilities
Mercy: Demonstrates God’s love and compassion by responding to hurt

2. Ministry Gifts - Those called and gifted to equip others:

Ephesians 4:11-13: “He gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ.” (See also I Corinthians 12:27–31.)

Apostles
Prophets
Evangelists
Pastors
Teachers

3. The Manifestation Gifts - demonstrations of God’s supernatural power

These gifts represent the work God does through the life of a believer in a given situation to demonstrate His supernatural power.

Nine manifestation gifts are listed in I Corinthians 12:7–11:

Word of wisdom
Word of knowledge
Faith
Gifts of healing
Working of miracles
Prophecy
Discerning of spirits
Divers kinds of tongues
Interpretation of tongues

1 Peter 4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

THE VOICE: Use whatever gift you’ve received for the good of one another so that you can show yourselves to be good stewards of God’s grace in all its varieties.

Natural talent comes from your physical birth.

Spiritual gifts come from your spiritual birth.

Both are giving to us for ministry.

BASIC TRUTHS ABOUT SPIRITUAL GIFTS:

Take risks with serving - trial and error is how you find your spiritual gift.
Look at what annoys you most - what frustrates you? That might be what God wants you to work on, since someone with your gift is not fixing the problem.
You can have a mixture of gifts. They are a tool always at your disposal that you can carry on your belt, but God can add one to your belt when needed.
Exercise your gifts. There are different levels of giftedness. You have to cultivate and exercise your gifts.
You often have to serve outside your area of gift, based on need. Don’t just say, that’s not my gift...
Gifts cannot be a source of pride – if you had worked for them, they wouldn’t be gifts.
The closer you are to Jesus (the source, the vine) the more power will be behind your gift.

Two Words to Describe God

2013-03-24T21:21:00.002-07:00

If you had to choose 2 words that you believe best describe God, what would they be?

Think about it...

I believe the two words that most accurately describes our God are truth and grace. In fact, these are the two words He most used to describe Himself in the Scriptures. From Genesis to Revelation these two concepts were used to describe God's character, Jesus' way of life, and our expected conduct:

When Moses said to God, "show me your glorious presence," God agreed to reveal himself and passed in front of Moses, calling out:

"Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love (GRACE) and faithfulness (TRUTH). I lavish unfailing love (GRACE) to a thousand generations. I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin. But I do not excuse the guilty (TRUTH). I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren; the entire family is affected--even children in the third and fourth generations." Exodus 34:6-7

Grace and Truth is often translated in Scripture as unfailing love and faithfulness. Here are the definition of the terms:

GRACE: (charis 147 times / hesed: 248 times)

That which offers joy, pleasure, delight, sweetness, charm, loveliness: grace of speech
Good will, loving-kindness, favor. The merciful kindness of God
Unfailing love, compassion, mercy, kindness, affection

TRUTH: (aletheia: 99 times / emeth: 127 times)

What is true in any matter under consideration (reality)
That candor of mind which is free from affection, pretense, simulation, falsehood, deceit
Firmness, faithfulness, reliability, stability, sureness, steadfastness

"So the Word (Jesus) became human and lived here on earth among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen his glory, the glory of the only Son of the Father... For the law was given through Moses, but God's unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ." John 1:14-17 (NLT)

In my opinion, one of the hardest things in life is to have BOTH of these qualities in us. James Ryle, a Christian author says, "truth without love equals harshness and love without truth is compromise". It's easier to have just GRACE - accept everything, regardless of whether or not it is true. It's easier also to just exercise TRUTH and not worry about showing compassion and mercy to others.

You might have seen the extremes. The "Bible-thumpers" - people who in the name if "truth" show no mercy or love or grace toward others. They hold up signs of condemnation toward the world.

Or maybe you've seen the other extreme. The "everything is ok" people who accept everything and neglect truth. They say whatever you do, say, or choose is ok. There is no absolute truth. Everything goes...

But try combining the two. That's what Jesus did. He was always gracious. Always merciful. Always kind. Always full of unfailing love and compassion. Always forgiving. BUT He was also always faithful. Always truthful. Always firm and steady. Always reliable. He forgives, but also punished wrongdoing. He shows grace, but never compromises truth.

Psalm 108:4 “For your unfailing love is higher than the heavens. Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.” 100% of both.

When truth and grace are combined people are drawn to God and there is transformation. With that in mind, here are some practical observations in regards to helping those who are hurting.

Hurting people hurt people
We must do our unique part, but trust God with the rest
God cares more than me, let Him carry the burden
Environments of grace and love heal
People need to be heard more than talked to
If you try to help the hurting, you will fail often – but it’s still worth it.
Many of these issues have a demonic component to them that must be addressed.
If the change doesn’t come from Jesus, it won’t last. The Holy Spirit must be invited in to change the heart. Lead people to Jesus for healing.
Often our presence is more powerful than our actions or words. Walk with them in love and grace.
True healing comes with the fusion of 100% grace and 100% truth. Don’t fall into the lie that you must compromise one for the other. “truth in love”

Read some of these verses: Ex. 34:6; Ps. 25:10, 26, 57:3, 85:10; 86:15, 88:11, 89:1-2; Pr. 3:3, 14:22, 16:5; Hosea 4:1, Mic. 7:20

Helping Hurting Friends (Part 1)

2012-10-26T12:13:00.003-07:00

Last week I got the chance to teach a breakout session at the Rescue Conference here in Silicon Valley. The topic was, "Helping Hurting Friends: Dealing with addiction, depression, anger, suicide, and hopelessness." I wasn't sure if the topic was one that many people would want to listen to, but to my surprise, the Main Auditorium was pretty full. The whole experience reminded me of how many people out there are hurting, and also how many are trying to help a friend who is hurting.

Here were some of the thoughts I shared:

FOUNDATIONAL TRUTHS:

1. Jesus came for the sick, hurting, and broken.

Luke 4:18-19 “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.”

Luke 4:30 But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?” Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”

2. Jesus modeled for us the way to help them.

He healed the sick, restored life for the broken, released the addicted and bound up, gave hope to the oppressed, and freed up the demon possessed

3. Jesus commissioned His followers to do the same.

John 14:12 “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father.”

GOD’S WILL WHEN SOMEONE HURTS
When someone hurts, God usually wants to do one or more of these below. One of the first steps to helping a hurting friend is discerning what God is trying to do in their lives, since He often wants to use us in the process of helping them.

Heal them
Deliver them
Teach them something (dependency, intimacy…)
Save them
Use them for a purpose

SOME EXAMPLES FROM MATTHEW 8 & 9:
(8:4) Man with leprosy – SICK / heal, use them
(8:5-13) Roman officer – SICK / heal, teach them (faith)
(8:14-17) Many healed – SICK / healed
(8:23-33) Boat in storm – FEAR & PANICK / deliver, teach them (His Character)
(8:28-34) Demon possessed men – TORMENTED & VIOLENT / deliver them
(9:2) Paralyzed man – DISABILITY – save (forgive), teach them
(9:18) A heart broken father – GRIEVING & DEPRESSED – heal, bring hope

What is God up to in our hurting friend's life? Make yourself available to God to be the vehicle of transformation in their lives. He can use you to heal, deliver, teach, save, or help them see how their pain can be used for something good.

PART 2 COMING SOON

Tired? Worn out? Burned out?

2012-10-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message)

Sometimes when I'm really tired, I go back to the words of Jesus in Matthew 11. It's an invitation that I often hear Him whisper in my ears, "if you are tired, come to me..." The truth is that coming to Jesus when we are tired, worn out, or even burned out is not always the natural leaning of our hearts. Very often, men and women turn to other things in their attempt to "find rest". Pornography, TV, food, friends, drinks, affairs... but they get trapped in even deeper "restlessness".

Though being in full time ministry (church work) is very fulfilling and rewarding, it can also be very exhausting. The emotions of hearing people's broken stories, the hours of planning, investing in new leaders, the many pressures that come with a fast-growth church culture, and even the excitement of watching God transform lives... it can suck the energy out of you.

Jesus didn't guarantee a painless life. He didn't say serving Him would be easy. He didn't promise a life with no struggles. Sometimes we need to remember that. What He did promise though is that
He would always be there. He would walk with us in the journey. He would fill our hearts with joy (un-circumstantial inner happiness) and peace beyond our understanding.

So He says, "if you are tired, come to me" - don't go to other things that will leave you empty. I have learned to love this part of my relationship with God. The incredible feeling of resting in Him. The joy of sensing Him lift my burdens. The peace that He floods into my heart when I just come. It's beyond explanation. I often come to Him speechless, worn out, and literally at the end of myself. But EVERY-TIME a miracle happens. He shows up. In my weakness, He is made strong. He renews my strength. He gives me rest.

Try coming to Jesus next time you're at the end of yourself and watch Him meet with you and fill your heart.

"Come close to God, and God will come close to you" James 4:8 NLT

A New View of Holiness

2012-05-31T10:08:00.000-07:00

We are in a teaching series at South Bay Church where we are talking about key paradigm shifts that can greatly impact our lives. A change of thinking and perspective that can take us from lost-living to purpose-living, from chaos to order, from empty to fulfilled, from darkness to light...

This past Sunday I taught on the concept of Holiness. How when most people think of HOLY, the images that come to mind are images of halos, saints, angels, God on a throne, or someone like Mother Theresa. The problem with that is that "HOLINESS" is no longer a practical concept in our minds. It has become a religious concept - far from everyday practical living. You might have ready verses like:

But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God—who chose you to be his children—is holy. For he himself has said, “You must be holy because I am holy.” 1 Pet. 1:13 NLT

But, if God being holy is Him seating on a huge throne with lights glowing around Him and angels singing to Him, then how do we imitate that?

In Leviticus 10:10 it says, "You must distinguish between what is holy and what is common."

Though most think the opposite of HOLY is evil, corruption, sin... the most clear definition we see in Scripture is that the opposite of HOLY is simply to be COMMON.

On the other hand, to be holy is not necessarily to be bright, glowy, perfect, but just simply to be UNCOMMON. To be uncommon because of a (1) touch from God and (2) separation for His use.

All throughout Scripture we see this pattern. Whatever was touched by God and set apart for His use became HOLY: A holy day (Sabbath) - Exodus 20:11 / Holy Ground - Exodus 3:5 / Holy Nation (Israel) - Exodus 19:9 / The Holy Scriptures - 2 Tim 3:5 / A Holy Temple, A Holy City...

Even His name: “You must faithfully keep all my commands by obeying them, for I am the Lord. Do not treat my holy name as common and ordinary. I must be treated as holy by [my] people… It is I, the Lord, who makes you holy.” Lev. 22:31

These are 2 "UNCOMMON" practices that help us live a Holy life:

1. Bring everything before Him (Touch) - Which means we care about doing things His Way. We hide nothing from Him. We submit in obedience in all areas - our money, our addictions, our wrongdoings, our vision for the future.

2. Commit everything for His use (Separation) - We have a practice in our family of bringing and committing things to God: our cars, house, kids, computers, building, marriage... It's so important to take the time to say, "God we separate ourselves, our belongings, our talents, our resources... for YOUR use."

KEY TRUTH: God's grace falls on what is HOLY.

2 Timothy 1:9 For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his gracethrough Christ Jesus.

Hebrews 12:14 Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God.

If you want God's grace (His blessing, His presence, His favor) to be on your life, then allow Him to touch you and separate your entire life for His use.

I believe that the reason many us don’t pursue God’s touch and separate ourselves for Him is because we don’t understand how HOLY He really is.

Our God is is unequaled - on a different level - His Ways are higher than our ways, His Plans Higher than our plans. HE IS HOLY. He is incomparable, unparalleled, matchless, second to none, in a class of His own, unequal, unrivaled, unsurpassable, supreme, top, best, singular, unique, perfect. HE IS HOLY.

He is greater, better, He is set apart. He cannot be conquered, intimidated, subdued, beat, triumphed over, overcome, overwhelmed, overpowered, or overthrown. HE IS HOLY. His greatness is beyond discovery. His Glory is brighter, it's consuming, it's piercing. His name is above every name - it is the ONLY name that expels demons, that heals the sick, that saves our souls, that can shake the foundations of the earth. HE IS HOLY.

The Scripture says that thousands upon thousands of angels encircle around His throne day after day and night after night and all they can say in thundering voices is HOLY, HOLY, HOLY is the Lord God, the Almighty - there is none like you.

(to hear the complete message on this topic, go to: http://www.southbaychurch.org/media/switch)

How the guys at Google, Apple, Cisco... are helping South Bay Church

2012-04-30T09:54:00.004-07:00

I would say that one of my favorite things in life is seeing people start using their time, talents, and treasures for a HIGHER purpose, not just their own. There are very few organizations and churches that have the quantity & quality of volunteers that we have at South Bay Church. When we serve at city events, there are hundreds of volunteers who step up to serve even in the dirtiest jobs. Every Sunday there have been dozens of volunteers who show up at 6:45am to set up our kids spaces and auditorium for church services, not to mention the hundreds who serve during 1 of our 4 services. I could go on and on...

After 3 years of 'portable' church, yesterday we had our last Sunday gathering at Don Callejon School. As I was locking the school gym one last time after tear down, I was reflecting on the amount of work that passionate volunteers put into creating engaging experiences for those far from God to encounter Him. I was so amazed as name after name came to mind - people from all different cultures, backgrounds, talents, ages... serving their hearts out because of their love for God and people.

Though I know I don't have enough space to mention everyone who sacrificially serves @ South Bay, I thought I'd start by acknowledging the ones in the tech world, which is one of the benefits of church-planting in Silicon Valley. These are some of the people who caught the vision that God has given them specific technological gifts and positioned them in influential places, not just so that they can create awesome tech products, but so that they can impact the world with His Love and advance the Kingdom of God with what's in their hands.

Google - Mark Louie is a project manager at Google and our Technology Director at South Bay Church. He meets monthly with 10+ developers and other tech guys at the Google campus in order to advance the use of the technology at our church. Many other SB googlers like Jonathan Tan and Cade Fassett are working hard in his team to help us create websites, mobile apps, maximize social media, and many other technology initiatives.
Apple - Fred Torres has been one of our best connections at Apple, not to mention the fact that he and his wife have brought over 40 people to church with them, many of whom received Christ and were baptized last year (watch their story). Fred helped us get iPads for our Connection Center, so that people can sign up for Life Groups and Volunteer Teams easier.
Cisco Systems - Andrew Timko from Cisco spend 14 hours just this last Saturday setting up our wireless infrastructure at our new North San Jose Campus. He and other volunteers designed and installed in our building just about the most kicking wireless set up available out there.
Intuit - Dante is a programer and serves on Sunday mornings in the Production team and has been helping us maximize the use of some of our internal database systems, like Planning Center and Fellowship One.
LinkedIN - Andrew Pottenger is a web programer and designer at LinkedIN and spent many hours helping us finish our new church website. He is also creating the mobile version of our site and working on several other design projects for the church.
TiVo - Matthew Beck is helping us use the latest technology to livestream our Sunday services, as well as helping us with the launch of the SB iPhone app.
iPhone APP developers - Mark Jardine (http://tapbots.com) and Jerry Shen (http://www.fantasymonsterapp.com/) are some of the best APP makers out there. Mark spent countless hours designing our new website (www.southbaychurch.org) and Jerry is helping us in several areas, including the use of Fellowship One and Planning Center (sync).
Social Media / Marketing experts - Mike Louie (VMware) and Tony Yang (start ups) are helping us stay current and ahead with our Social Media initiates and communication.

There are SO many more people I could mention here. It is so beautiful to see people after people shifting to a SELFLESS and SACRIFICIAL type of living. These are people who realize that there is more to life than creating products, making profit, and building our own kingdoms. These people have been changed by God and now use their talents, time, and treasures for a higher purpose. What a great example to follow!

Hope you also ask God how He can use your life for His purposes and Kingdom, not just your own. That's the way of true life and fulfillment.

“If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it." Jesus (Matthew 16:24, NLT)

A Great Example of Wife & Mother.

2012-03-26T11:58:00.000-07:00

This morning, as I was praying for my wife, God gave me a fresh reminder of how special she really is. Then I began to write her a text to share with her how special she is, but felt like I couldn't do it justice with two sentences. Then I began to write her an email instead, but still felt like it wasn't enough. So then I decided to just write a blog post about it, as a way of encouraging others with her example. There are way too few examples in our world of great wives and mothers in my opinion. Here are some of the things that make her special:

She places high value on wisdom. She is always reading a book and seeking wisdom from others, so that she can become a better wife, better mother, better Christian, better person. She is daily in the Word of God, gaining wisdom from it. She is currently working to memorize the whole book of James in the Bible (she is on chapter 3 :). Proverbs 31:26.

She prioritizes the home. She understands that our most important investment is our kids. If we gain much money, reach success in the eyes of the world, but our kids don't grow to love God and serve Him with character and integrity, then it's all worthless. She understands that one of our primary missions as a couple is to mold the hearts of our kids, which in our opinion, starts with us having a good marriage. I thank God that she understands that!

She takes her relationship with God seriously. My wife understands how important it is to walk in intimacy with Jesus. She doesn't care about looking religious, she just knows that it is intimacy with the Creator that matters. She even chose to join me this month in a 21 day fast in praying for God to move powerfully this Easter at our church and for God to move in our friends who are far from God, so that they would come to know Him.

She treats me with respect. She speaks well of me in public, she respects my decisions, she embraces her role in the family. We both understand that though we're equal in value, we still have different roles in the home. For some reason, people see the value of this in every area of life, except for the home. You wouldn't want a basketball team with all guards. She let's me lead in the home and embraces her role as mom, wife...

She understand the value of investing in people's lives. She leads a Life Group, where she invests in the life of 12 or women each week and is constantly investing in others. She understands that our legacy is not seen in the stuff we leave behind, but the lives that we impact during our lifetime.

She is just as radiant inside as she is outside. 1 Peter 3:4 says that wives should clothe themselves "with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty that comes from a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious in the sight of God." That's my wife.

She is trustworthy and lives with integrity. Integrity is a big deal to Mandy. She doesn't tolerate dishonesty and takes her words very seriously. I'm so glad to have a wife I can trust.

"Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life." Proverbs 31:11

What really shapes a child's life.

2012-03-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

I was reminded this morning of the fact that parents are by far the biggest influence in the lives of their children. We teach that concept, but it's different when you see your children doing the exact things you do. This can be really good or really bad, depending on what example we're setting for them. What I'm saying is that, in some ways, you can't really get too upset about how your kids turn out--because most of the time, they are just imitating us.

THE GOOD: This morning my 4-year old daughter came downstairs with a journal in her hand and said, "I need to read my Bible before I eat my breakfast" and then sat on the couch and "pretended" to read the Bible (she can't really read yet). I was pretty encouraged that she understood the value of letting God speak through the Bible, by watching us do it everyday. My 5-year old also began wanting to do her "devotions" on her own now that she knows how to read.

THE BAD: Later, the kids went up to their room and the girls began "role-playing" mommy and daddy with with my son Efraim. I noticed their tone of voice was not very pleasant with him, but when I went to talk to them about it, I realized that they were just imitating the tone of voice that my wife and I sometimes use! How convicting. The way we talk, our tone, our words... are all penetrating their little minds and then coming out of their mouths the same way.

We shape our kids more than anyone else, in good ways and bad ways. So today God reminded me that if I want my kids to love him, I MUST LOVE HIM. If I want my kids to speak to be encouragers, I MUST BE ENCOURAGING. If I want my kids to value wisdom and humility, I MUST MODEL IT.

So simple, but so profound. So simple, but so easy to forget. God help us lead the way and model godliness to the next generation.

"You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up..." Deuteronomy 6:5-7 (NLT)

Assimilation System / Follow Up Procedures

2012-02-18T13:29:00.001-08:00

For Pastors, Church Planters, and leaders wanting to get better at assimilating people into the church and helping them move from 1st times guests to fully devoted to the mission of the Gospel, here is South Bay Church's Assimilation system and procedures.

The document is a working progress and has some rough draft type of pages in it, but I'm sure it will be useful for you. Thank you to our friends and partners at the Journey Church and Church Leader Insights for the foundational template of this system.

CLICK HERE FOR THE DOC VERSION
CLICK HERE FOR THE PDF VERSION

Great Tech Tools For Church Planters & Pastors (Part 2)

2011-10-04T22:54:00.000-07:00

Evernote
Evernote allows you to keep docs, websites, files, notes, etc. all in sync with your mac, phone, iPad, or any other device you use. No need to connect cables, it all syncs automatically. It use it a lot for to-do lists, sermon prep, meeting notes, etc. I start on my mac, continue it on my iPad, and maybe do edits on the go on my phone. It's fantastic.

Crash Plan Pro
For those of you who don't have the patience to connect your computers or devices to external hard drives to back up, Crashplanpro is a great tool. Just download it on all your devices and it automatically backs them up anytime you're online. No worries no hassle.

Mediafire
Our entire staff is addicted to Mediafire. Mediafire works great to share large and small files, pictures, docs, videos, etc. It creates hyperlinks you can attach to emails, websites, or whatever else you use to share files. We also use it to store and share all our church pictures, graphic design, videos, MP3s of messages, staff resources, etc.

Trumpia
This is a text message service that allows you to send special SMS messages to groups of people. We are testing it with our Leadership Team right now. You can send them reminders of meetings, important updates and prayer requests, or links to a resource you want them to have.

YouVersion LIVE
We haven't started using this yet, but I've heard great things about the LIVE feature of YouVersion. It allows people to easily interact with church services and any other live experiences in your church. Many churches use it during their worship services, so that people can take notes on their phone, download resources, respond to polls, etc.

Square
If you need to receive credit cards from people for any reason, Square is just about the best new invention out there. The creator of Twitter created Square. It allows you to receive donations and purchases without having a merchant account, which is awesome. You literally just download the Square app and they'll send you a Square "box" to plug into your iPhone or iPad and you can start receiving donations/money. We use it at our Resource Center, to collect fees for seminars we host, and much more.

Eventbrite

Eventbrite empowers you with simple but powerful tools to manage, promote, and sell out your event. It's free and easy to use. You can use it to register people for conferences, retreats, events, etc.

QR codes
QR codes are a type of bar-code you can easily create that people can scan with their phones and it instantly directs them to a website. We use it on our Tithe/Offering envelopes to take them straight to our giving webpage. We use it on our Sunday programs to take them straight to our webpage. We also use them on mailers, doorhangers, and invite cards. I recommend using http://qrcode.good-survey.com/ so that you can track the effectiveness of your links.

Google Adwords / Yelp Reviews / Facebook Ads
Church planters are constantly asking us what are the most effective ways to use social media and online marketing tools to spread the word about our church. Obviously the #1 reason people visit our church (and yours) is through personal invitation, but in terms of web tools, here is how most people have found our church: (1) Google Adswords, (2) Yelp Reviews, (3) Facebook Ads. If you don't have those set up for your church, you're missing a great opportunity. In terms of Yelp and Google reviews, start by asking your core leadership team and volunteers to write 5 star reviews on your profile.

ElevationResources / LifeChurch.tv resources
In terms of free quality resources for churches, you can't beat Elevation Church and LifeChurch.tv's resources. They have awesome graphic designs, videos, and many other great resources that can save you a lot of time and money.

Great Tech Tools for Church Planters & Pastors (Part 1)

2011-08-27T10:59:00.000-07:00

As South Bay Church grows, so do the amount of questions that pastors and church planters ask us. What do you use to schedule volunteers? How do you track stats? How do you use social media? Which are the same questions we struggled with for a while. Well, I figured I would right down some of the tools that have been most effective and useful for us so far. Some of these are obvious and widely used, but others might be a new idea for you, so just take what you whatever you think would be helpful to you:

Fellowship One

Fellowship One is the online database system that we have found to be the best one out there for churches like ours. Here are some of the features I love most about it: (1) It is completely web-based, so anyone can access it from anywhere; (2) the inFellowship system for Small Group ministry is great, allowing your people to sign up online and your leaders to manage groups themselves; (3) the iPhone app is a great tool that puts the whole church database in your hands anytime; (4) it groups profiles by families, allowing you to communicate with families or individuals; (5) it allows you to query people by just about any category, for example, "all males, with kids, who attend a small group, and smoke cigars".

Planning Center Online
One of the only weaknesses of FellowshipOne is the volunteer scheduling feature, which is why we use Planning Center to communicate with and schedule volunteers. I guess F1 recognized that weakness, which is why this year they are 'merging' with Planning Center, which is incredible news to churches that already use both these database systems! PC allows you to create profiles for each of your volunteers, schedule them to serve, send emails with the request (in which they reply "accept" or "decline", and much more.

GOOGLE: Docs, Calendar, Apps for Business
One of the benefits of living in Silicon Valley is that we get to learn from great companies like Google, Apple, Facebook, etc. headquartered in our back yard. We have dozens of people in our church that work at all those companies, so we get to visit, tour, and learn from them often. Our Google buddies are constantly teaching us new tools and ways to use Google for our church, which I must say, has saved us lots and lots of time and maximized communication within our staff.

If you don't yet know the power of Google docs, you really need to try it. It allows you to share/edit live spreadsheets, presentations, etc. We use it for our stats, our new believer follow up, our events planning teams, prayer chain sign ups, etc.

The Google Calendar is also an incredible tool that allows your whole team to have easy access to each other's calendars. You can also create specific shared calendars for "printing schedule", "sermon series", capital campaign dates", "church leaders calendars", etc.

If you want to take your Google experience to the next level, you should also try Google Apps for Business - which is what we're transitioning to this month. It maximizes the way you do emails, calendars, website hosting, and much more.

Doodle

Doogle is a new tool we're just now starting to use, thanks to one of our Google friends. "Doodle eliminates the chaos that comes from scheduling and saves you a lot of time and energy when you’re trying to find a time to bring a number of people together. Instead of using just one option, you can propose several dates and times and the participants can indicate their availability online. With one look, you’ll be able to see what the best time is for the meeting, and this works with any calendar system that is being used." Another great feature is that it can be linked to your Google calendar.

IN PART TWO: Crash Plan Pro, Media Fire, Square, Eventbrite, etc.

God's Favor

2011-07-13T08:45:00.000-07:00

"What if the Lord had not been on our side?" Let all Israel repeat. What if the Lord had not been on our side..." Psalm 124

That is a question we should all ask at times. What would have happened if God hadn't stepped in? Who would we be if God hadn't intervened in our lives? In this Psalm, David takes the time to think about what would would have happened to the Israelites if God hadn't given them favor. Here's a summary of what David said would have happened:

"Our enemies would have conquered us"
"The pressure would have overwhelmed us"

That reality actually happened to the Israelites. God told them to go into the promised land and conquer the land, but the people sinned by not having faith to believe God would give them the strength to conquer these "giant" people. So God told them they would no longer be able to occupy that land and that He would give it to their children instead.

In Numbers 14:39-45, after the people heard that news, they felt "sorry" for what they had done and decided to try to go into the land anyways. But Moses said, "Why are you now disobeying the Lord's orders.... It won't work. Do not go up into the land now. You will only be crushed by your enemies because the Lord is not with you." Long story short: they went anyways and got crushed.

What if the Lord in not on our side?

Who would we be if God hadn't intervened in our lives?

I would have never gotten out of a life of drugs and unfulfilling addictions.
I would have probably not married a godly women and would be divorced by now.
I would be living a selfish life in pursuit of worldly wealth, a life with no impact.

As I think of the process of starting a church, if God hadn't been on our side...

Our fund-raising attempt would have failed
Our attempts to build a launch team would have failed
Our attempts to partner with our city would have failed
Our marketing and church growth strategies would have failed
Our efforts in reaching people far from God would have been empty

Wow, how we need God's favor. If God is not on our side, all this is meaningless. If the good things we do are not initiated and guided by His Hands, they will be empty deeds. This principle is why our core value #11 as a church is this:

"We depend on the favor of God – We believe God-sized movements happen when we act in audacious faith in the power of the Holy Spirit."

Without God on our side, we will fail.

What Does God Want?

2011-07-08T15:20:00.000-07:00

You ever wander what God really wants from us? So much of our energy is spent trying to figure out that question. What should I do next... what is my purpose in life... how should I live my life... what does God want from me?

Well, I love texts like this one I came across this week where God just plainly tells us what He is really looking for from us:

"What does the Lord your God require of you? He requires only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases Him, and love him and serve him with all your heart and soul. And you mus always obey the Lord's commands... for your own good." Deuteronomy 10:12-13 (NLT)

When you don't know what to do, just ask yourself these questions that I'm asking myself this week:

1. Am I living in a way that pleases Him? Do I have a healthy fear of God?
2. Am I loving God with all my heart and soul or is my heart cold?
3. Am I serving God with all my heart and soul or is my life lived for myself?
4. Am I obeying the things I already know He wants me to do?
5. Do I believe that obeying Him is really for my own good?

Maybe things would be much better for us if instead of trying to figure out our specific purpose in life, we would focus on pleasing Him, loving Him, serving Him, and obeying Him. Maybe that's how our purpose unfolds and we find fulfillment in life.