Film Rehab

Movie Review: Highway Gospel

2013-03-02T07:38:00.001-08:00

Downhill long-board is not a conventional sport. As a matter of fact, it’s something you may not find an awful lot of outside of the northeastern United States and Canada. I would have never known the sport existed being from a part of the country that doesn’t even have hills. Also, my brief skateboarding career ended about five minutes after I bought my first board. I was so cool at the skate park.

When, I watch a documentary I want to discover something I wasn’t aware of before. Even though I wasn’t looking, Highway Gospel found me. Highway Gospel is a documentary about downhill long-boarding. It follows the lives of a few individuals within this community in Canada. We first meet Jody, who builds top-of-the-line long boards with a machine that he built himself. He seems to border on super-genius and just not giving a flying f*ck. He lives stress-free, has no clocks, and just makes his boards and drinks beer. His motto is “failure is not an option.” His friends mostly just pay him in beer. His buddy Noah is a character that we probably didn’t get to see enough of. Mostly due to him not standing still, doing donuts in the dirt, and chasing deer with his pseudo-cop car.

The centerpiece of the film, in my opinion, is a 26-year-old young man named Bricin (pronounced Bry-son). He resembles Seth Rogen so much that it’s not even funny. Well, actually, he is pretty funny. He’s a character. He’s also mightily respected within the community. He’s sacrificed his health and material things for building a community so they can “have fun.” Every time he's on screen he's lighting it up.

Then, there’s Claude Reigner who is 48 now. He was a skating champion when he was younger many times over. To this day he is still competing and teaching young kids how to skate. He says he has 30 more years of competing. When he was 16 he found out that he has a heart leak. He had to have heart surgery. He woke up ten days later to find out he had died for a moment. Naturally, he lives as if he has a second chance at life.

Highway Gospel is about never giving up. It’s about believing in yourself and something even when others doubt you. None of these individuals probably have made much of a living off of the long-board lifestyle, but all of them have had a life.

I remember when I was in high school playing basketball, and I didn’t get into a college as a player. Why would I? I was a 6’2 center/power forward. To put it into perspective, NBA point guard Steve Nash is 6’3.
If you don’t know anything about basketball, he’s one of the smallest guys on the court. My point is that, I know how hard it is to say “goodbye” to a dream and walk away.

Nash is the smallest on the left.... The guys on the far right? He's a Center/Power Forward

Watching Claude struggle with his bad heart, while still being able to compete at a high level, is completely understandable. If that's his dream and he can still pursue it, he should. Just like the young man name Scoot who is pursuing becoming "World Champion." He's young and he's on top of his game. Time after time we watch him smoke the competition.

Scoot

Same with all of these guys. Any one of them could just walk away and get into the work force, but why should they? They might not see riches within their lifetime, but they are trying to build something that will give others a chance in the future. It really seems like a fulfilling example of human beings doing good things.

Don't get me wrong, the message is definitely a deep and heart-warming message. It's also one of the most fun documentaries I have ever seen. You get pulled into each of their stories, and you want to see everything work out for them. On the other hand, they all seem to enjoy the hell out of life. It just feels like you would want to grab a beer, pull up a lawn chair, and go hang out with these guys.

A

Opening This Weekend: 21 AND OVER, JACK AND THE GIANT SLAYER, AND THE LAST EXORCISM PART II

2013-03-01T05:45:00.001-08:00

21 and Over reminds me so much of Project X that I can't imagine it being anything, but utter sh*t. Sounds cooler than it is. C'mon, the trampoline scene? Jack the Giant Slayer is the dude from Warm Bodies (I know his name is Nicholas Hoult) along with Obie Wan (I know his name is Ewan McGregor) in a re-telling of Jack and the Beanstalk.

The Last Exorcism Part II is… Well, I think you can figure that one out. Other possible titles were Oops: It's Baaaaack or Holy Sh*t: Ya'll Done F*cked Up Now... Again or Connect The Cuts: La La La La La. The Last Exorcism Part II may have locked in best movie title of the year. Somewhere a movie exec is walking around with a "We're #1" hat and breaksticks under his arm pits for coming up with that title, and actually getting it made. Genius.

Rotten Tomatoes

Jack the Giant Slayer

Jack, my friends, is a giant slayer. The trailers are everywhere and I just don’t have anything interesting to say about the film. It has Nicholas Hoult as Jack. Bryan Singer directed it. It has CGI giants that evaporate any hope I had for the film. With that being said, it’s the film I would prefer to see if I had to watch a film this weekend.

Critics 50%

Audience 70%

21 and Over

21 and Over, well, it looks like it could be surprisingly good. It also looks like it could be awful. I’m going with awful until proven otherwise.

Critics 28%

Audience 71%

(In case you were wondering... Project X sits at a similar score with Critics 27% and Audience 62%... Just saying.)

The Last Exorcism Part II

The Last Exorcism Part II… Wait… I don’t think I need to tell you what’s wrong with this title. Definitely one of the most genius titles ever. That’s not hyperbole. That’s the truth. Plus, Eli Roth is a producer and that means something, right?

Critics Of course it wasn't screened for critics (0 reviews)

Audience 74%

Phantom

Then, there’s a movie called Phantom and it doesn’t star Billy Zane. It has a cool cast with Ed Harris, David Duchovny, William Fichtner, Lance Henriksen, and Sean Patrick Flanery in it. I would have loved that cast in the late 80's, early 90's. I heard about this film for the first time this week. So, maybe it will be a surprise.

Critics 19% (36 reviews thus far, so that's not looking good.)

Audience 50%

This Week's Blu-Ray/DVD Releases: THE MASTER, HOLY MOTORS, and CHASING MAVERICKS

2013-02-26T04:59:00.000-08:00

I wish I could tell you that I have already seen Paul Thomas Anderson's The Master, but I haven't. It's a film that seems to split audience members. People seem to like it, or really just hate the film. I know PTA has a huge following after films like Boogie Nights, Magnolia, and There Will Be Blood (to name a few). Joaquin Phoenix, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Amy Adams were all nominated for their respective performances in the film at this year's Oscars. It's a safe bet to say this is a must-watch film. Just don't expect to love it.

Holy Motors is a film that movie critics became a huge fan of. Everyone that has seen it seems to love the film, but you probably have never heard of it. Along with The Master, it is on the top of my list of films I want to see... immediately.

Chasing Mavericks... Well, that happened. They did say that the surfing was very realistic, so I suppose it has that going for it.

Movie Review: The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

2013-02-26T00:30:00.000-08:00

Somewhere along the lines I feel like the animated mystery stories have been lost. I don’t know if it got harder to surprise audiences, or if it’s just lazy writing. On the flip side, Tintin has a large catalog of mystery stories to pull from. That's just what Steve Spielberg did here. I've never had the chance to read or watch any of the source material, so a lot of it was unfamiliar to me. Welcome to The Adventures of Tintin.

Tintin (Jamie Bell) purchases a model boat from a street vendor, but he’s immediately approached by multiple gentlemen trying to buy it from him. It seems to be at the heart of the mystery, but I have no idea what is really going on at this point. I'm guessing Tintin is a journalist that accidentally discovered this boat. My confusion lies in the question, why didn't these guys just buy the boat in the first place? Why are they messing with Tintin?

I was surprised when the first man was shot in Tintin’s apartment building and his blood was all over the ground and newspaper. It surprisingly looked very realistic.

The shine on the vehicles is amazing. I mean, there are a lot of times you watch this film and it's hard to tell if the things in the background are real or animated. As for the characters, their movement is sometimes hindered by this look. It's like a lot of CGI rendered animation where it isn't entirely seamless. Tintin kind of gets in its own way with the characters looking nowhere near as wonderful as their surroundings.

When Tintin and Snowy (his dog) are forced to rely on a drunken and rather amusing Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis) they end up in a small row boat on the ocean. The water and sky in the background looks absolutely sensational. It’s something you probably couldn’t capture with hand drawn animation.

While watching The Adventures of Tintin it’s sometimes hard to tell that it’s not a live-action film. This is kind of my problem with this method. It looks quite amazing, but what’s the point of having life-like animation when you could have had human actors? It's something I struggle with because I love animation. It was kind of my dream job, but I also like it to look like animation.

The movement of the characters is very fluid and, again, it’s hard to tell it’s not real at times. That is, until you see a character running or jumping. Then, it looks like it’s hung up in a video game-like motion capture that lags ever so slightly.

Things like the desert, the ocean, and a lightning storm while flying a small airplane make this film a visual delight. Computer animation definitely wins. I don’t have a lot of negative criticism for the film, but it’s rather bland at time. This, most likely, could have been avoided if the film were to shave off about thirty minutes.

The Adventures of Tintin is a beautifully animated film that gives us a well-made journey filled with action, adventure, and mystery. I don't really know what Steven Spielberg did here that couldn't have been done by another director, but I believe this was a personal project for himself and producer Peter Jackson. Edgar Wright was also involved in writing the screenplay. It's a recipe for near perfection, and at times it pulls it off. Obviously, everyone involved was under the assumption that most people are familiar with these characters. Which, for myself, put me at a disadvantage. For someone that is familiar with the source material, The Adventures of Tintin was probably much more inspired and amazing.

B

Quoting Movies # 2 - "We Started Out as Foe"

2013-02-25T01:00:00.000-08:00

Can you tell me what movie this quote is from?

Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.

The picture alone should be a dead giveaway, especially if you are one of the two people that read this site. For those of you still not sure, here is a video clip of the quote in its entirety below.

Leave your favorite quote in the comments below.

The Rock's Six Best Films

2013-02-24T05:30:00.001-08:00

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is one of the rare actors that can pretty much do what he wants and people still say "Well, I'll watch him in anything." It's true, because we've suffered through The Journey films, or The Tooth Fairy. Some of us won't even completely discount those films because of The Rock.

With Snitch opening this weekend The Rock will appear in his first out of five films in 2013. There are also another two listed on his IMDB page as potential 2013 releases. I figured I would review his career and give you my six favorite films in his catalog (I couldn't settle on five).

The Other Guys (2010)

"It's the one that says "BAD MOTHER F*CKER" on it"

The Rock doesn't do anything too different in The Other Guys, but he's Samuel L. Jackson's partner. Big points for that. The two of them are the perfect buddy cop team, hence why Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are The Other Guys. Get it?

You know what I'm thinking?

The Scorpion King (2002)

The Scorpion King was The Rock's first starring role. It's a fun film. I always enjoyed the Mummy films on a pure entertainment level. Even if The Scorpion King isn't the best movie, it showed that not only can The Rock kick ass, but he can be fun to watch onscreen. If nothing else, it also stars Michael Clarke Duncan.

SIDE NOTE: Can't even put into words how awesome this quote is.

I may be a king, but I'm a wrestler first.

Be Cool (2005)

I have to admit that I did watch The Rock as a wrestler, so I kind of knew he had a sense of humor. Be Cool is the first time we really saw him unleash it in the movies. It's a rather small role, but definitely fitting within the film. He's been good in small comedic doses like his appearances on SNL and in Be Cool. It would be nice to see him throw in a few more roles similar to this.

Whoo! Scorchin'!

Fast Five (2011)

What you waitin' for? Kiss me.

I both loved and hate The Rock in Fast Five. See, I think the movie is a lot of fun… like most everyone else. The problem I have is that a knee from The Rock to Vin Diesel's big skull would probably result in a hospital visit... or death. Yet, Diesel continually mops the floor with The Rock. Nevertheless, The Rock really brings the action and we got one of the most "Come at me bro" pics you will ever see.

Your mistake is thinking you have a goddamn choice, boy!

The Rundown (2003)

The Rundown is an action-comedy film directed by Peter Berg (Battleship), and stars the Rock alongside Seann William Scott. Johnson and Scott's pairing is really good, and it isn't the last time the two have been in the same movie (See: Southland Tales... or don't). It's definitely one of the more entertaining displays of The Rock's comedic and action skills mashed together. More movies like this. Stop being so serious.

I pick up guns, bad things happen to people. I don't like that.

Walking Tall (2004)

I love Walking Tall. I know it's a remake of a Burt Reynolds film, but what film isn't? I grew up on a healthy dose of action flicks by Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone. Granted, it's been a while since I've watched it, but I've seen it enough to stand by my pick. Even though Arnold sort of passed the action hero torch to The Rock in The Rundown, I felt like this was a huge homage to 70's and 80's action movies... minus boobs.... or were there boobs? I don't remember. Definitely the right choice if there were boobs.

Nice homecoming party...

Opening This Weekend: SNITCH and DARK SKIES

2013-02-22T06:22:00.001-08:00

I really don’t feel a huge need to go into a lot of detail about the two movies that are opening this weekend. There is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in Snitch, and a horror movie (I guess) called Dark Skies. They will be battling the likes of Identity Thief, Safe Haven, and A Good Day to Die Hard at the box office. Good luck.

Rotten Tomatoes

Snitch

"In the fast-paced action thriller SNITCH, Dwayne Johnson stars as a father whose teenage son is wrongly accused of a drug distribution crime and is looking at a mandatory minimum prison sentence of 10 years. Desperate and determined to rescue his son at all costs, he makes a deal with the U.S. attorney to work as an undercover informant and infiltrate a drug cartel on a dangerous mission -- risking everything, including his family and his own life. (c) Summit"

Critics 50%
Audience 82%

Dark Skies

"From the producer of Paranormal Activity, Insidious, and Sinister comes Dark Skies: a supernatural thriller that follows a young family living in the suburbs. As husband and wife Daniel and Lacey Barret witness an escalating series of disturbing events involving their family, their safe and peaceful home quickly unravels. When it becomes clear that the Barret family is being targeted by an unimaginably terrifying and deadly force, Daniel and Lacey take matters in their own hands to solve the mystery of what is after their family. Written and Directed by Scott Stewart (PRIEST, LEGION) Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo, Kadan Rockett and J.K. Simmons (c) Weinstein"

Critics No Score Yet (Meaning they most likely didn’t screen for critics. Never a good thing.)

Audience 54% (Low audience score? Also, never a good thing.)

Next week I’ll talk about 21 and Over, Jack the Giant Slayer, and The Last Exorcism Part II. In the meantime, I would like for anyone to tell me why someone would want to watch any of those films.

Quoting Movies # 1 – "If You Were a Tuna"

2013-02-21T02:25:00.000-08:00

Hello friends. Do you know what movie this quote is from?

Terry Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Allen Gamble: OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that?

Allen Gamble: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.
[pause]

Allen Gamble: Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.

Still don't know? It's the underrated buddy cop comedy, The Other Guys, starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. Here is the quote in its entirety below. Enjoy.

This Week's Blu-Ray/DVD Releases - Argo, Sinister, and Anna Karenina

2013-02-19T02:34:00.006-08:00

New on Blu-Ray/DVD this week is Ben Affleck’s Argo, which is nominated for Best Picture at this year's Academy Awards. This should get a lot of attention as the Oscars are getting closer. Also coming out this week is the horror film Sinister starring Ethan Hawke. Anna Karenina, Oscar nominated for cinematography, is released this week. Other than that we have a movie with Victoria Justice from Nickelodeon, and a few pretty good re-releases.

Argo

As the Iranian revolution reaches a boiling point, a CIA 'exfiltration' specialist concocts a risky plan to free six Americans who have found shelter at the home of the Canadian ambassador.

Sinister

Found footage helps a true-crime novelist realize how and why a family was murdered in his new home, though his discoveries put his entire family in the path of a supernatural entity.

Anna Karenina

Set in late-19th-century Russia high-society, the aristocrat Anna Karenina enters into a life-changing affair with the affluent Count Vronsky.

Fun Size

Wren's Halloween plans go awry when she's made to babysit her brother, who disappears into a sea of trick-or-treaters. With her best friend and two nerds at her side, she needs to find her brother before her mom finds out he's missing.

Monsters, Inc. 3D

Top Gun 3D

The Terminator

TRON: Legacy

2013-02-17T05:05:00.000-08:00

NOTE: This is a re-post of an older review.

I was never sold on the whole look of the world of TRON with the skin tight uniforms highlighted by neon lights, that is, until I saw TRON: Legacy. Software Engineer Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) mysteriously goes missing and twenty years later his son, 27-year old Sam Flynn (Garrett Hedlund), goes searching for him.

Kevin Flynn created an advanced program duplicate of himself named CLU who was supposed to help him create the perfect world. Due to imperfections in certain programs CLU turned on Kevin and took TRON with him. CLU now rules the Grid and any chance Kevin has at returning home.

For starters, the movie is a lot better than I had ever expected it to be. It was hard to imagine they would pull off staying true to the original from the 80’s while making this one fresh and new. I was worried that it was more of a capitalization on the new 3D technology. While it may be, it is an extreme visual experience even without the big screen and the glasses.

TRON always makes me think of the South Park “You Have 0 Friends” episode where Stan is trying to delete his Facebook, but the computer sends him into a TRON-like setting. It makes me laugh because the first film is a little corny when you look back now, but it was groundbreaking when it came out. Slightly ahead of the curve, it came out before the Internet, computers or video games were an everyday part of our lives like they are now. Would we have ever had The Last Starfighter? I’m not sure.

Not that it has to be said, but Jeff Bridges is a good actor, plain and simple. Jeff Bridges also portrays CLU who is the main bad guy and through CGI makeup they somewhat manage to make Bridges look twenty years younger. It’s kind of creepy, but pretty cool.

Garrett Hedlund is pretty good as Sam Flynn and I can see him reprising his role if a third film does come to fruition. I have to be honest I thought that Olivia Wilde was put in this movie for nothing more than sex appeal. The character of Quorra, Kevin Flynn’s apprentice, is actually far from that. She has a very innocent appeal to her with the amusement of a child. This alone proves she has some acting chops beyond just the OC.

Overall, TRON: Legacy is a good movie with visual effects that keep you wanting them to stay on the Grid.

Highlights: Visuals, especially the light cycles.

The bad: The movie is pretty predictable throughout, but what did you expect?

- Shane

Movie Review: Ponyo

2013-02-17T03:30:00.000-08:00

Animation is supposed to be moving art that comes to life. Nothing captures my inner-child like watching hand-drawn animation come to life. Granted, I love technology and Pixar is definitely the best at combining the artistic elements with wonderful animation and storytelling. When you watch a film by Hayao Miyazaki you see many things that we as Americans have seen before. That’s because the animators that we love also love Miyazaki and his influence is widespread.

Ponyo, an adorable, yet slightly creepy goldfish princess, strays from her home and gets caught in debris as the net of a boat cleans up trash from the ocean floor. She lands on shore as a 5-year-old boy, Sosuke, finds her and saves her. Her dad quickly comes after her, but fails to retrieve his daughter immediately. He is a sea wizard and he looks like he may share David Bowie’s fashion adviser Once he has her back in his possession, Ponyo admits she has fallen in love with Sosuke. She uses her magical powers to turn herself into a human, but such use of magic does not come without consequences.

The opening scene is so captivating because as the abundance of fish, jellyfish, and nearly minuscule sea creatures are making their way through the water you can clearly see each one has a mind of its own. Each is moving in a different way. This is not just a copy and paste method to get you through the scene. It’s detailed and it’s beautiful. It’s also lays the groundwork for what kind of discipline you can expect from Hayao Miyazaki.

As much as I could go on about the animation I will tell you that the storytelling is just as superb, if not better. You will hear time and time again that his work is “fairytale-like.” It definitely is just that. You can’t possibly explain it any better, as most fairytales have been brought to life in many different shapes and forms. Miyazaki tells a slightly familiar tale, but creates a world that we are seeing for the first time. Right off the bat the animation confirms that Ponyo has a very soft and cute appeal to it. It matches the story and it really amplifies the character of the entire tale.

For the little ones, Ponyo may be a bit boring. There are a lot of abstract and adult themes, especially Sosuke’s parents getting a little tiff about his father working too much. There is also an element of a curse when one of the elderly women tells Sosuke that a tsunami is going to come unless he sets Ponyo free. It’s definitely a tale that will make more sense the older you are. Yet, for the sake of the animation, I can see children being drawn into this world.

Watching a film by Hayao Miyazaki is like watching a master sensei put on a storytelling clinic. His work demands respect. I make a lot of jokes when I write, but he makes me as a writer/artist want to be better. Watching his films change people inside. Hayao Miyazaki is a very important person as a film lover.

I like Ponyo quite a bit, but in this case I prefer The Little Mermaid or Finding Nemo a little bit more. I appreciate the detail, the discipline, the story, and for me it moves particularly fast. It just spends quite a bit of time developing Sosuke before Ponyo defies her father. I also don't know if I would have dug it as much when I was a kid. It's definitely a film that people can easily fall in love with, but may not enjoy as much as some of Miyazaki's other work.

B

Trailer: The Internship

2013-02-16T05:25:00.001-08:00

On June 7th we will see Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn in The Internship. The two will be reunited onscreen eight years after Wedding Crashers. Now, if you know me, you know that Wedding Crashers is one of my favorite comedies. I'm also a huge Vince Vaughn fan. I can watch the guy in anything, and I usually do (even The Dilemma).

The Internship is about two guys that are at the end of their "chances" for making it big. So, they apply for a job at Google... as interns. I was a bit apprehensive about this project because I wasn't quite sure if it would work again. Well, watching the trailer makes me think that these guys just have great chemistry together. Take a look below.

Looks pretty funny. I love the Professor Xavier bit. Definitely looking forward to June 7, 2013.

Movie Review: Mean Streets (1973)

2013-02-16T05:12:00.000-08:00

Martin Scorcese's career has shown us that he's pretty good at making gangster films. Goodfellas is one of my favorite movies of all-time. I love the Oscar winning The Departed, as well. Some would argue that the latter is a remake of Goodfellas. Well, Mean Streets was made in 1973 and it's relatively the same film. I doubt there are many people that would argue it's any less brilliant.

When it comes to discussions about the best gangster films of all-time, I really never see Martin Scorcese's Mean Streets anywhere near these lists. It's not necessarily a straight up gangster flick as much as you know these guys are small time gangsters, but it's never quite clear to what extent. You can definitely see how Scorsese influenced directors like Tarantino.

Well, there is a lot going on in Mean Streets. The beginning gives each character a lead-in, something you will be familiar with if you've seen Goodfellas. One thing about Scorceses gangster films that always stands out to me is that he will have a main character that gets very close with a cowboy-type character. That character then has to choose between friendship and their safety. It’s the mob crossroads.

That main character is Charlie played by the amazing Harvey Keitel. Keitel is one of the most underrated actors of all-time. The cowboy? That's Johnny Boy played by a very young Robert De Niro. More on him in a bit.

Mean Streets was practice for Goodfellas. I think Scorcese's taste in music has been well documented, but the soundtrack is fantastic. Back in the day it might have been a little more “spot-on”, but the music in the film is timeless.

Johnny Boy is an amazing performance by a young Robert De Niro. He plays more of the loose cannon in this film, as opposed to the cool calm guy he plays for probably the last thirty years of his career. For nothing else, see the film for Robert De Niro’s performance. Even still, that would be selling the film short. He does a ridiculous monologue when Harvey Keitel confronts him early on about money he owes. The whole thing goes no where and it’s a bunch of rambling excuses, but it’s so damn believable by one of the greatest actors of all-time.

The pool hall fight scene is one of the best all-around and realistic fight scenes I have ever seen. Scorcese follows a two-on-one fight around the entire pool hall without cutting away.

For the younger people, if you have ever doubted Robert De Niro, please watch Mean Streets. Also, don't discount Harvey Keitel in the lead role. Much of the film relies on him as he struggle between being a gangster, his love interest, and being honorable to his idiot friend, Johnny Boy. If you have seen Mean Streets, I encourage you to re-visit it.

It's not Scorsese's best film, but it definitely shows that it laid a lot of groundwork for his later work. It also shows you that he was always just a great director with an outstanding vision. You also won't have to put much thought into the film. Just sit back and enjoy.

A-

Opening This Weekend: A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD, BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, SAFE HAVEN, and ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH

2013-02-15T02:34:00.001-08:00

There are four new movies opening on this long weekend. Included in this batch of films is A Good Day to Die Hard, the fifth adventure in the Die Hard franchise with indestructible John McClane played by Bruce Willis. Will it be his last? Probably not. My thought is that we know how this goes by now, and there isn’t going to be a fresh take as much as more of the same. I think all originality was exhausted at the tagline “Yippie Ki Yay Mother Russia”. I will, however, give Bruce Willis the benefit of the doubt on most occasions. I like the franchise enough, and they are always fun.

Other than that we have a young adult novel in Beautiful Creatures, and the king of strangely sadistic romance novels Nicholas Sparks churns out another on in Safe Haven. Beautiful Creatures is very interesting and probably the film I’d like to see the most out of this weekend’s releases. Although, it reminds me a little of Twilight with witches. I just feel like A Good Day to Die Hard will always be there. Safe Haven, on the other hand, I will leave in the hands of the viewer.

Last, but certainly not least, is the animated film Escape from Planet Earth. This is a film that I didn’t even know was coming out until about a week ago, so marketing… yay. I’m usually all over these animated films, but I think Mars Needs Moms probably killed any expectations the Weinstein Company had for the film. Watching the trailer, I actually thought it looked pretty good. Then again, I’m a sucker for animated films. Although, it was made by Rainmaker Entertainment who up to this point have mainly only made animated straight-to-DVD Barbie films. So, they’ve got that going for them.

Rotten Tomatoes

A Good Day to Die Hard

Critics 18%
Audience 82%

Beautiful Creatures

Critics 46%
Audience 76%

Safe Haven

Critics 13%
Audience 71%

Escape from Planet Earth

Critics No Reviews Yet
Audience 76%

I’m not sure why I haven’t thought of this before, but I am part of a Box Office Prediction game put together by Joe over at The Cinematic Katzenjammer. I am dead last in the predictions, so maybe that’s why I haven’t mentioned it. I’m not very good, but it’s fun. We are basically all in the hole, I guess. I'm just in for $103M. It also only takes one big blockbuster to change things around. So, here it is. Enjoy.

Yearly Total Difference

Trevor Movie Mavericks $71.9M

Nick The Cinematic Katzenjammer $76.6M

Jason Movie Mavericks $82.5M*

Daniel Daniel’s Film Reviews $87.4M

Shane Film Rehab $103M

Five Badass Guys in Romantic Movies

2013-02-14T06:46:00.001-08:00

It’s Valentine’s Day and love is in the air. Romantic movie tropes are flowing like the wine. Beautiful women are flocking like salmon to Capistrano. Every movie site or blog out there is forming their favorite romantic movie list(s) like a limp Voltron formed with pink panthers rather than lions. I don’t even know what that means, but this gives me a chance to put Ryan Gosling, Leonardo DiCaprio, and John Cusack on the same list. So, if that makes you happy in your pants, well I’m sorry for not being sorry.

Westley played by Cary Elwes in The Princess Bride

Westley is tasked with saving his kidnapped former love, Buttercup. He left her to find riches, but was attacked and supposedly left for dead. When he returns to save her she doesn’t know it’s him at first because he’s wearing all black, plus she’s getting married to Prince Humperdinck. Nevertheless, Westley never gives up hope. He's a badass because he can be a swashbuckler, but he uses his head when need be... just watch the movie. You'll see.

Clarence Worley played by Christian Slater in True Romance

First thing first, all men know that a girl named Alabama is trouble times 10, right? Okay. Good. Unless, of course, your name is Clarence. Well, even then, she's trouble. True Romance is one of my all-time favorite movies. So, I like to take any chance I have to include it on lists. Clarence could have easily just walked away from Alabama, but he just couldn't do it. He was in this for the long-haul. He ends up doing a bunch of gangster ass stuff that he would of never done before meeting her. It must have been true romance... bro.

Noah Calhoun played by Ryan Gosling in The Notebook

You can hate on this movie all you want. Actually, I can’t really stand watching this movie. Unless it’s raining, and I happen to be outside, so no one can see me crying. Anyway, that was weird.

Noah just seems like a really awesome guy. Why someone would pick Cyclops over him is anyone’s guess. Noah writes down everything… in a notebook. Dude must have had some patience. Just saying. This comes in super handy when Allie gets older and has Alzheimer’s. It’s like he knew all along. Okay, I’ve said too much.

Jack Dawson played by Leonardo DiCaprio in Titantic

Jack really had nothing to lose. He was a defiant little bastard. Even though their opposing levels of class made a happy ending seem unlikely in the first place, Jack still fell head over heels for Rose. Not only did he get his hussle on, but he got game. Jack made the ultimate sacrifice in the end, but their love will go… Sorry.

Lloyd Dobler played by John Cusack in Say Anything…

Lloyd Dobler is very possibly one of my top three movie characters of all-time. This kid knows heartbreak. He also knows how to break some faces because he’s a kickboxer. Lloyd, I’m from the future letting you know that never really took off. You got MMA though, so yeah.

Lloyd is in love with this super smart (although super unpopular) chick named, Diane Court. Her dad is a total D-Bag, and he keeps her locked in the house reading encyclopedias like a book-smart Rapunzel. The good thing about Lloyd is that he isn’t cool, but he’s so not cool that it makes him the coolest. He’s suave and he doesn’t even realize it. He’s just a real dude. He gave her his heart, and she gave him a pen. Women.

Movie Review: Compliance (2012)

2013-02-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

If you value the existance of humanity then you probably want to avoid Compliance. On second thought, we should all watch Compliance as a cautionary tale. It should be pre-requisite for high school kids that want to go into the working world. You want to start a career in the fast food industry, kid? Well, you gotta watch this during your orientation. I'm not kidding either.

Compliance is a thriller written and directed by Craig Zobel. In the beginning, it feels like it's falling into some of the Indie tropes that we're accustom to. Once

It's sadly true that this film is based on real-life events. The basic premise of the film is that a prank caller acts as a police officer and tricks fast food restaurant employees into violating any code of ethics that may exist. The manager, Sandra, played by Ann Dowd, is ordered to detain a nineteen-year-old employee named Becky (Dreama Walker) because there is a complaint that she took something out of a customer's wallet. The caller is able to convince Sandra to strip search Becky, but it doesn't end there.

Compliance is getting a lot of good praise because of the performance of Ann Dowd. Her performance is great, but the character is unforgiveable. Should she be just as responsible for acting out the demands of the fake policeman? I believe she should. It doesn't look good for her case. She even goes as far as leaving the poor girl in the care of a young male employee, and then her fiance.

The sad thing is that I believe there are people in this world that would act just as Sandra did. She took orders without question because they came from a supposed higher authority. So, let this be a lesson you crazy kids. Question everything.

The film itself is a horror story, but it's actually not a difficult watch. The acting is good all around. It's just difficult to watch people make such dumb decisions. So, if you like yelling at the screen, then this is the movie for you.

I think the detective says it best with this line, "You've got to be shitting me. This happened more than once?"

C+

Movie Review: Reboot

2013-02-13T02:33:00.001-08:00

Reboot is a short film that goes beyond all the rich colors and the beautifully shot images. Writer/director Joe Kawasaki actually has a message for us. That message cuts deep into the core of humanity. Our expectations have become far too bloated. We have become a world of Veruca Salts. We’ve come to expect things like water, food, and electricity. Just as there was a time that we did not have these things, there could easily be a time when we go without again. Survival is in our instincts, but like in Wall-E we have evolved so far away from those instincts.

Reboot is a quick mystery film about a female hacker named Stat (Emily Somers) that wakes up with her iPhone glued to her hand. On the iPhone screen you can clearly see a timer counting down. She has no idea what happened to her apartment or why her nose is broken. Piece by piece she has to put things together before the timer reaches zero. The film runs under forty minutes which gives no time to spare for any unnecessary filler. It’s all business, and it works in a very pleasant fashion for this film.

Jesse (Travis Aaron Wade) says that the whole world may need a “reboot.” He’s a maniacal hacker that thinks he’s going to fix the world’s problems. Wade kind of reminds me of Jeremy Renner a little bit. His delivery is flat, but that’s not a knock against him. His character, Jesse, is supposed to be emotionless. He’s almost become a robot himself. He’s acting as if he’s following a command rather than any feelings. Wade definitely conveys these emotions, or lack thereof.

Reboot is a really good short film with solid acting performances. The score is very solid compliment to the film. The scenes are beautifully shot, and I am a fan of the overall look of the film. I think all praise has to be given to Kawasaki for packing a punch with such a short amount of time, not to mention the clock constantly counting closer and close to zero. Within that limited amount of time he was able to keep his eye on the message, and still deliver without being overly preachy.

A

Movie Review: Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

2013-02-12T05:27:00.000-08:00

Lars (Ryan Gosling) is a single guy in a small town. He is awkward and appears to have no interest in chatting up any ladies. Apparently, if you are single and turn down any girl that approaches you that makes you either gay or a serial killer. At least, that’s the natural progression, right?

Lars doesn’t look anyone in the eye. He rocks a nice mustache, and basically keeps to himself. Of course, this only attracts more attention. Attention that he never asked for. He says that hugs "burn". After his co-worker makes him aware of a website for "real" sex dolls on the Internet he takes the leap and buys one.

This leads to him eventually having the delusion that she is completely real. He makes up an entire backstory for her life. He goes as far as introducing her to his family and even having full conversations with her. Never once seeing anything weird about his actions, he tells his brother and sister-in-law that she lost her luggage and wheelchair. He then asks if she can borrow clothes. This makes his brother Gus (Paul Schneider) want to put him in a mental hospital like yesterday.

The perplexing situation eventually spreads to the entire town, but at the advice of Lars’ therapist everyone goes along with it. Everyone seems to get really good at playing make believe. It seems to start off as everyone’s way of pitching in to help Lars, but they all become fully invested in Lars’ and the doll's world.

On the outside the story is kind of creepy, but it’s also tragically sweet. He's never gross with the doll either, so spoiler alert. Ryan Gosling pulls off being a person suffering from mental illness and delusion with such sincerity. His mind is stuck in one place, so he’s obviously using this doll as a coping device. It’s not a doll to him. This is his reality. No one could have played this role as well as Ryan Gosling. He just has a genuine nature to him that attracts people, just like Lars.

B+

This Week's Blu-Ray/DVD Releases: SKYFALL, THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER, and More

2013-02-12T05:01:00.004-08:00

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Skyfall

This week the obvious choices for Blu-Ray/DVD releases are the latest Bond film Skyfall and Ezra Miller and Emma Stone in The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Beyond that there are actually quite a bit of new releases this week. The one I am the most interested in is RZA's The Man with the Iron Fists.

Skyfall holds five Oscar nominations this year, but that's not the only film released this week with an Oscar nom. Helen Hunt is up for Best Supporting Actress in The Sessions. Many say it's the best performance of her career, and most thought John Hawkes would be nominted for his great performance in the film. He wasn't, but it might be something you will want to check out. Take a look below.

The Man with the Iron Fists

Silent Hill: Revelation

The Sessions

Movie Review: Voltron: Fleet of Doom (1986)

2013-02-11T05:19:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think about the cartoons I used to watch when I was a kid. I thought some of the stuff was great, but now when I see it on The Hub or Netflix, it’s just not. At least this proves to me that my taste in things has actually evolved over the years. There’s nowhere to go but up from the bottom, right? This theory, however, did not hold up with Voltron: Fleet of Doom.

It’s actually a good animated film. Sure, it’s short (45 minutes). It has terrible voice acting. The animation is stuck in an 80’s time capsule. I can look past all of that (although I’d never ding it for being short) because it’s kind of awesome.

Great opening sequence and I love the narration. He gets you up to speed in about a minute and a half. There is a witch that can read people's dreams, but her voice is so annoying that I wouldn’t hate you for stopping the movie right here. She even says “My pretty.”

Voltron has not assembled at this point. So, Haggar the witch with the annoying voice, captures Princess Allura is a dream world. Keith, the guy with the red suit that drives the black lion, has to go save her. The dream sequence is actually pretty weird. It's supposed to be nightmares that Keith made up in his own mind.

The other guys on the team get the “Lions are ready” signal. The red, yellow, and green lions launch into a dogfight with their enemies. Now I remember how confusing it was that the guy that drives the red lion wears a blue suit and the guy that wears red drives the black lion. Believe me, this is a surefire way to confuse American audiences... or just me. Might be just me.

Before the witch can hurt Keith the Princess hits her with some “morals” speech, and she decides she’s just going to give up. That was weird, but whatever.Not what I was expecting.

Voltron finally forms. The Princess wears pink, but of course, she drives the blue lion.The Voltron that I am used to is The Lion Force, but when they form in this film The Vehicle Force Volton also forms to fight alongside of them. The Vehicle Force Voltron was the Japanese source material and this was a way to bring both together for American audiences.

So the old Voltron and the new Voltron both form and meet for the first time on-screen. The old Voltron looks more like a samurai, and all of the parts are cars instead of lions. Wait, that’s not all, there is an evil Voltron. The good Voltrons assemble to defeat the Fleet of Doom. Anyway, it's a short film and it's a good bad 80's cartoon if you have time to kill. Although, if you've never seen the show before then you may have no interest and this review probably made no sense to you.

Shane's Most Anticipated 2013

2013-02-10T06:40:00.001-08:00

January really held nothing mentioning as I put together a list of my most anticipated films of 2013. It also bought me an extra month to post it. I enjoyed a lot of films from 2012 which included one of my all-time favorite films, The Avengers. Can you believe I have even higher hopes for 2013?

I'm not sold on Pacific Rim because things like Robot Jox and Transformers have ruined any hope in my mind for something like this to work.

So, here are my picks in no order.

The Hangover: Part III

I might be very alone in putting this on my most anticipated list, but I don't care. I loved the first film, liked the second film, and I'm ready to see what the Wolfpack has in store for the third film.

Monsters University

The Pixar classic does a prequel in college. It looks like a lot of fun.

Ender's Game

I still need to read the book, but the premise is really cool. Ender (Asa Butterfield) is a very gifted child that is sent to a military school to prepare for an alien invasion, and may very well be humanity's savior. Plus, Harrison Ford is in it.

Iron Man 3

This looks amazing. I don't see how you cannot be excited about this. Shane Black is directing it. C'mon. It's the start of Marvel's Phase Two and it's most likely going to tie in some space elements. People are going to be all over this once it comes out.

Pain and Gain

My favorite Michael Bay film is Bad Boys, and this looks like it's done in the same vein.

Man of Steel

I'm not the biggest Zack Snyder fan. I like him. Watchmen was a little underrated if you ask me, but looking at this poster has me questioning so many things. Regardless, I am still looking forward to this even if it's a big fat failure, but I doubt it will be.

Thor: The Dark World

The first one was surprisingly really good. I expect this one to be even better. Just less Earth, please.

Anchorman: The Legend Continues

I love the first film, but I know a lot of people that don't. Adding a musical number to this one sounds great to me, but I wonder how people will react to it. Still, with the entire cast back I can't wait to see what Ron Burgundy and the boys have in store for us.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

Sin City is one of my all-time favorite films. At the time it came out there was nothing like it. Well, it's been a while since 2005. Comic book films have gotten a lot better since then. We'll see if Robert Rodriguez can catch lightning twice.

This is the End

I love comedies, and This is the End looks like it's going to be an all-out comedy assault. It's an apocalyptic comedy where all the guys like Seth Rogen and James Franco are playing themselves as the world is ending somehow.

Leprechaun Getting the Reboot

2013-02-10T02:00:00.000-08:00

This news is a bit late, but I figured I would post it anyway. Aside from wresting, the WWE is pretty busy making movies. Crave Online sat down with Michael Luisi, president of WWE Studios, at Sundance this week to talk about some of the films the studio has in development. One of their projects is Dead Man Down starring Colin Farrell. They also are partnered with Lionsgate for a reboot of the Leprechaun franchise called Leprechaun Origins. The film will star current WWE star Hornswaggle.

"The tone is going to be a little darker, a little more traditional horror than the Warwick Davis ones that people remember, trying to find a way to please fans of that genre but at the same time this is really being played for scares."

My biggest issue is that the campiness made the original films. The script is still in development, but Michael Luisi says that this is a true reboot and will have no connection to the original franchise. Luisi also says that they are not ruling out a cameo by the original Leprechaun actor Warrick Davis. I just can't help feeling like this has VOD written all over it.

Movie Review: The Sitter

2013-02-10T01:30:00.000-08:00

Noah Griffith (Jonah Hill) is no Elisabeth Shue. Noah gets stuck with a babysitting job, so his single mother can go out for the night. He's mostly just a lazy ass, but he seems to care for his mother. He ends up taking the kids on an “adventure” where they pick up drugs for his girlfriend so she will finally have sex with him. If that sounds like your idea of fun, well, it isn’t.

Where The Sitter goes terribly wrong is that it was made… No, but seriously, it’s that there is no character to like. When there is no one to like you have to ask why you would want to invest your time in this film. Even Jonah Hill, who does the best he could with what he was given, plays a character that is lazy, vulgar, and not entirely likable.

In the opening scene we see him "performing" on his sort-of-lady, and when he asks for her to return the favor she says she has an upset stomach. My sympathy just vomited in its mouth. His girlfriend is just an awful person and the kids he eventually babysits are not much better. Couldn't we have at least tried to get slightly more charming kids? I mean, seriously.

: Can you guess which is which?

There are three kids in the babysitting/drug mule cartel. Slater has high anxiety. His little sister, Blithe, wants to wear a lot of makeup and go booty dancing in a nightclub. The last one is Rodrigo, their adopted brother that barely speaks English and starts a lot of trouble. Think of him as the Hispanic Bart Simpson. The kid with anxiety was okay. The thing with the little girl is just weird and I don’t get why anyone would enjoy that. As for Rodrigo, well, if the intent was to want to kick him in the shins… Then, mission accomplished.

I didn't like Pineapple Express very much. It’s not a stretch to think that I wouldn't like a David Gordon Green directed film, but even Pineapple Express was quite the film compared to The Sitter.

Hey, do you remember when people used to throw cherry bombs in toilets? Yeah… This movie does.

You would think they live in a Batman-less Gotham because nowadays if you were to cause multiple explosions across a number of public places in a major city… you would probably be caught very quickly. Yet, nothing happens to any of them. They steal a car. Nothing. They break into Noah’s dad’s jewelry store and steal diamonds. Nothing. They do get pulled over by the cops, but that’s so the cops can rob them instead.

: Remember these guys?

I felt like the people that wrote this film did not have kids. It’s the equivalent of men writing the manic pixie girl roles. You have no clue how to develop a child character other than watching Adventures in Babysitting. Except, those kids were much cooler.

Oh yeah, Sam Rockwell is a drug dealer in this movie. Judging by that’s all I have to say about his performance, you can tell how much I like this movie. Like I said, Jonah Hill was pretty good. I place a lot of blame on direction, script, and casting. In the end, The Sitter was doomed at conception.

D-

Movie Review: Bernie

2013-02-09T01:30:00.000-08:00

Bernie is a true story about an assistant funeral director with more charm than an otter wearing a cowboy hat and boots. Okay, not that charming, but pretty damn charming. Bernie (Jack Black) befriends a filthy rich 81-year-old widow named Marjorie Nugent (Shirley MaClaine). Her mean spirit is well-known by everyone in the town, but naturally Bernie finds a way to get close to her. Really, really close. It is only after writing Bernie into her will that she begins to treat him like a man-slave until he eventually snaps. He is so charming in fact that the town he lives in tries to let him off the hook even after he confesses to her murder.

Bernie Tiede is played by Jack Black. Yes, that Jack Black. Bernie is an ambiguously effeminate undertaker that is loved by all that meet him. His generosity is selfless. His giving back to the community is unmatched. All of this makes his fall to darkness quite the more frightening. It’s definitely Black’s best effort as an actor. He dives in fully and transforms into the character. The film is a black comedy directed by Richard Linklater (Dazed and Confused) shot partially in a documentary style. With most “based on true-story” films you know the outcome, so it’s how the director and actors tell the story. Between Linklater’s direction and Black’s acting it’s definitely worth a viewing. That’s not even mentioning Mr. Matthew McConaughey as district attorney Danny Buck.

Watching this film it’s hard to look past Black’s performance (he’s was nominated for a Golden Globe), but when the dust settles McConaughey really is fantastic and steals the show. Danny Buck basically takes on the entire town and makes an unpopular decision to have Bernie’s trial moved to a location outside of Carthage, Texas to insure a fair trial. Buck was able to look past the charm of Bernie and acknowledge the fact that the man was a murderer. The trial is a small, but effective portion of the film.

Now, I don’t think Bernie is a very funny movie. I would even go so far as saying it’s over-hyped in that department. I mean, it’s what you would think about a black comedy. Some laughs. Not a lot of laughs, but definitely some stuff to think about. Not too many times you can watch a movie about murder (with a trial) and walk away thinking “That was cute.” Jack Black sings more in this movie than he does in just about anything else. He doesn’t mouth any solos though. One of the funniest aspects of the film is the docu-style parts when the people of the town are being interviewed.

You like Bernie. He’s very likable and Black pulls it off with ease. It’s pretty short at 104 minutes and I love that about any movie. It may not be for everyone, but it’s definitely worth a viewing for the things I’ve mentioned previously. It’s scary to watch someone so beloved pushed to their breaking point and continue being in the good graces of everyone that knows him.

Movie Review: Pitch Perfect

2013-02-08T02:28:00.001-08:00

The movie pitch for Pitch Perfect probably went like this -“What if (basically) the female cast from What To Expect When You’re Expecting got together to make a college version of Glee. Instead of popular songs, we will use “mashups” of popular songs… and other popular songs...

MOVIE EXEC: Eh, I don’t know. Seems too “on the nose”…

MOVIE PITCHER: I’ll throw in some cleavage…. And a Breakfast Club reference.

MOVIE EXEC: I love it, but one song request.... "TITANIUM".

I wasn’t there for that meeting, but I have a good sense about these types of things.

So, the film actually exceeded my terribly low expectations. These are expectations that were only lowered by the hype surrounding the film. It sucks to be the last kid on the movie-blogging-block to watch a movie sometimes, but that's life.

So, have you heard of this Anna Kendrick kid? Yeah, she's pretty good. She blew me away in Up in the Air. I just thought this was another paycheck for her, and a way to save Pitch Perfect from straight-to-DVD hell. Neither of those assumptions may be far off, but Kendrick is actually really good. Surprisingly, she's a talented singer.

My favorite scene of the whole movie, which actually shocked the hell out of me, was when she auditions for the a Cappella squad. She sings a little diddy while keeping a beat by stacking cups. This, my friends, is not easy and cannot be fixed with Pro Tools. That's talent.

Anyway, the movie isn't that funny. It definitely has its moments. Rebel Wilson usually leads the way by improvising almost all of her one-liners. She is hilarious as Fat Amy. I mean, her name is Fat Amy. Believe the hype, Rebel Wilson is funny. So, the films has those two going for it. Now, the rest of the cast is nearly awful, especially the male cast. Ouch.

Anytime you use "No Diggity" I'm on board. I didn't like all of the song choices, and "Turn the Beat Around" plays about twenty times. At least, that's what it felt like. I would of liked a better selection, but nonetheless I'm a sucker for stupid pop tunes.

The competition stuff was nowhere near as good as the "Riff-Off" street battles. That's where the good stuff happened, but it was only a small part of the film. Other than that, it was enjoyable enough. If they do a sequel I hope to see more rap battles. That is all.

B-