Film School Rejects

Old Ass Movies: Duck Soup

2009-11-16T02:14:30Z

Every Sunday, Film School Rejects presents a movie that was made before you were born and tells you why you should like it. This week, Old Ass Movies presents:

Duck Soup (1933)

Duck Soup may be the funniest movie of all time. It deals with war, politics, fear, corruption – and it does so without taking any of it seriously. Not in the slightest.

But unfortunately, I really won’t be able to talk about it.

The reason for this is because the comedy is incredible experiential. Like a comic strip, the value of it can’t simply be read to a person and be expected to translate at all. I wish I could share with you each scene, but it’s something that stumbles off the screen and lands flat on its face right into a cream pie. Something you just have to see and laugh at yourself.

It is, in my humble opinion, the funniest offering from the Marx Brothers ever to be filmed. It’s also the last film they did for Paramount and the last film they did with all four of them being featured. Groucho takes top billing as usual as Rufus T. Firefly, the over-eager ruler of a failing nation called Freedonia (financed by the wealthy, easily romanced Mrs. Teasdale (Margaret Dumont). The neighboring ruler sends over the hapless spies Pinky (Harpo) and Chicolini (Chico) while Zeppo plays a dashing Lieutenant in the military.

None of this movie makes any sense at all. It pivots from scene to scene with little concern with how anything in the real world works. Ultimately, most set ups are built just to have a butt of the joke be hammered home by the outlandish absurdity of Groucho. These scenes are usually immediately followed by Harpo annoying Groucho by cutting his tie in half, answering his phone (despite never speaking) and generally running amok. It’s controlled chaos, and it works brilliantly. In the hands of lesser comedians, it would all seem random, but they infuse a preternatural likability into each character so that instead of ending up with your eyebrow raised, you end up rolling on the floor with laughter with your eyebrow raised.

First of all, Groucho gets away with saying the most offensive things to people because he’s slick, and they usually can’t understand half the words that are coming out of that rapid-fire mouth. Second of all, Harpo and Chico make a phenomenal comic duo and go through the ropes stealing a competing street vendor’s hat repeatedly (until the light it on fire) until they are tapped by the government to be top notch spies. Some would call this a satire on war and politics (especially since it’s huge fight at the end predates the great, missing pie fight scene that should have been in Dr. Strangelove) but I’m pretty sure it’s just anarchy that happens in the governmental halls. They really could have set this anywhere, but sending up the self-importance of politicians is too much a draw to refuse it.

Of course, Zeppo – the most talented of the group who could do everyone else’s parts at a moment’s notice – relegates himself to playing a dashing figure that never gets to make a joke.

Beyond the humor, Chico proves his incredible piano talent and Harpo displays some killer harp strumming. This sort of thing sounds completely foreign to a modern audience, but they work perfectly for a group that came straight out of Vaudeville. They wanted to display their comic chops, their slapstick, and their high art of music. If that doesn’t make sense to you, great. Because the whole damned film won’t make any anyway.

However, you will recognize at least one comic bit that made its way into a lot of other shows and movies – a bit where Chico pretends to be Groucho, using the doorway as a mirror and moving exactly how Groucho moves until the punch line of the site gag. It’s something that has been copied over and over again, and it all started here.

Beyond innovation, the “war” at the end of the film might be the funniest thing ever committed to celluloid. Groucho ends up in no fewer than 7 different costumes that seem to materialize at random (from the Civil War era to Boy Scout uniforms to Coonskin caps). In college, I watched this film maybe 100 times or so, and for some reason, my friends James and Aaron and I could never finish it because we would lose our minds during a portion of the fight where Groucho gets his head stuck in a large jar. He screams out, they try to pry it off of him, and the scene cuts away to more fighting. When the shot jumps back, someone’s drawn Groucho’s face on the outside of the jar as a quick, easy solution.

For some reason, this makes me lose it every time.

But like I said, I can’t explain it to you. It’s just something you have to see for yourself.

The Wait is Over: An In-Depth Review of Star Trek on Blu-ray

2009-11-16T00:43:43Z

Being one of the few writers on the web to receive a review copy of J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek on Blu-ray is prestigious, I will admit it. But it also comes with a great responsibility — the knowledge that my review must be a thorough look at the release, which spans three discs and almost 6 hours of total entertainment. That said, I took to watching it this week with a fervor unlike anything I’ve seen from myself in a long time, watching the film three times (including once with commentary) and taking in the 30 behind the scenes featurettes twice. It was an all-encompassing Star Trek experience so enjoyable, I had to fight to find the right words. Hopefully in the next few paragraphs, I will be able to convey those feelings and find those words.

The Presentation

If a $383 million dollar box office take and the praise of Trekkers world wide tells us anything about J.J. Abrams’ franchise reboot, it is that it has resonated with audiences the world over. The film is a fast-paced, glossy and yet detail-oriented take on the Trek canon that is without a doubt, pitch-perfect in execution. The story of an alternate timeline for the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise, altered by a time-shifting angry Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana) and his vendetta against Spock of the distant future (Leonard Nimoy). The change in events creates this new timeline, in which James T. Kirk (Chris Pine), young Spock (Zachary Quinto) and the other iconic names of the original Trek series must find each other and take their places as the characters we all know and love.

If this film accomplished anything, it is that it brought Star Trek back to life in a way that is as accessible as it is reverent. Director J.J. Abrams, producer Damon Lindelof and writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman showed an attention to detail that is unparalleled, while giving the right injection of action and youthfulness to a franchise long plagued by the slow, lumbering ’submarine warfare’ nature of the original. And on Blu-ray, the attention to detail is there as well. The 1080p transfer looks brilliant, once again showing off the imperfect and stark realism of the way this film was shot. It also shows off the incredible special effects delivered by Industrial Light and Magic. Not to mention the pulse-pounding score from Michael Giacchino, mixed perfectly in stunning 5.1 Dolby Digital TrueHD surround. It is nearly as good as you might have seen in theaters — and certainly the best possible experience you can have at home.

Also notable in the presentation category is the menu system, which is simple, intuitive and fitting with the aesthetic of the film. It feels like the kind of video menu that you might find on the bridge of the USS Enterprise, with smooth branching menus that make up pods of special features piled on top of special features. As you can see in the screencap of the second disc below, there are a lot of special features on this disc — and getting to all of them is not even remotely difficult thanks to a very solid menu system.

Special Features

The second disc of this three-disc Blu-ray set is all special features, all the time. Instead of the usual single featurette, gag reel, trailers setup, the folks behind Star Trek decided that we should get a completely immersive experience. It is enough to make us believe that we have been a part of the production process since the beginning — and by the end of it all (some 3+ hours of extras) we feel as if we are now intimately aware of everything that went into this production.

Commentary
The commentary track (which is actually on the first disc with the film) is great. Director J.J. Abrams is joined by his brain-trust of writers Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, as well as producers Damon Lindelof and Bryan Burk. Some of it is the standard commentary schlock of talking about what a joy it was to work with Actor A and how “amazing” Actor B was every day on set. What we know from all of this is that Trek was a fun film to make. We also get some very unique and intimate moments with the film’s creative team, such as Orci and Kurtzman recounting their feelings as they sat with an audience for the first time at the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, nervously awaiting the reaction of true fans. As well, there is a really sweet story near the end of the film about working with Majel Barrett Roddenberry, who worked on the film shortly before she passed away. Be sure to leave the disc on until the end of the closing credits to hear Abrams tell that story.

Deleted Scenes
As you might expect, with a film this big there are plenty of things that didn’t make it into the film. This includes two scenes that involve Klingons that were cut out of the final story. Also, Brad William Henke shows up as young James T. Kirk’s uncle. His voice didn’t make the movie — as it was ultimately Heroes star Greg Grunberg who shows up in little Kirk’s phone call home, but it is Henke who actually plays the character in the deleted scene.

Featurettes
This is a hard one. There are 30 — count ‘em — 30 behind the scenes featurettes on this disc. To be fair though, there are really 10 main featurettes that have extended editions. In these extended editions, there are little Starfleet logos that pop up in the bottom right hand corner of the screen from time-to-time. When that pops up and we click the select button, we are taken to a series of sub-featurettes that relate to what the main featurette was just talking about. These are the most interesting of the lot. There is one that shows how the visual effects crew used very simple effects to create the bulging eyes of the alien nurse in the first scene. There is another that is solely dedicated to the charismatic and energetic first Assistant Director Tommy Gormley, who is clearly the heart and soul of the production. It is a rare look at one of the key players in the production, someone that the average moviegoer wouldn’t necessarily see in the usual, generic round of special features on most discs.

As for the main featurettes, everything seems to be covered in detail. Everything from J.J. Abrams’ unique vision for this new Trek and the nature of the brain-trust creative team (completely with a fun Trekker rating system for the writers and producers), to the casting process are covered in the first three featurettes. From there, we get to the more in-depth and supremely fascinating ‘art of filmmaking’ features — Starships, Aliens, Props and Costumes, Sound Design with Ben Burtt and Score (with Michael Giacchino) all get their own 5+ minute featurettes. They are all edited together incredibly well, making for very engaging and upbeat look at how the nuances of this film came to life. All-in-all, it is a series of behind the scenes peeks that are more than worth your time.

Vessel Simulator
Have you ever wanted to be able to fire the phasers on the USS Enterprise, much like Sulu? The 3D models of both the Enterprise and the Romulan ship The Narada are present for your viewing pleasure. You can get a full 360-degree look at both ships, as well as see detailed info about different parts of both vessel. Oh, and you are one click away from firing the phasers. On the USS Enterprise!

Gag Reel
Attention to detail seems to be the word of the day with this release. And there is no single feature (other than the film itself) with more creativity and pizazz than the gag reel. Often gag reels are just a series of clips, thrown together moments in which actors burst into laughter repeatedly as they attempt to deliver dialogue. But with this gag reel, there is a narrative and a cleverly edited series of clips that is a wonderfully entertaining example of just how fun this film was to make. Its no wonder it turned out to be one of the best films of the year.

Trailers
The single best trailer of 2009 is on this disc — “Prepare for the Beginning.” Watch it again and tell me that I’m wrong. I dare you.

The Third Disc

As is customary with Blu-ray releases, the third disc is a digital copy, which will allow you to download a version of the film to iTunes and take it with you on the go. Yet another one of those films that I want nothing more than to have on my iPhone for those long days of travel. Also, a nice bonus is the free demo of the Star Trek D-A-C video game for the XBOX 360. I haven’t had a chance to check that out, but the trailer for it on the first disc of this set looks pretty wicked.

Final Thoughts

The Blu-ray release of Star Trek is a must-own for anyone with a Blu-ray player. It has the attention to detail that is sorely missing from most releases, and the in-depth featurettes that bring the audience to the process than we could ever expect. Everything from the creation of the new Spock ears to the paint job on the Enterprise is delivered in a way that is fascinating, engaging and full of life. Not to mention the fact that we get to rewatch one of the best movies of the year in glorious high definition.

Star Trek is currently available for pre-order on Amazon and will be in stores on November 17, 2009. For more Blu-ray goodness, be sure to check out my weekly column This Week in Blu-ray.

2012 Scares Up $65 Million at the Box Office

2009-11-15T21:33:15Z

Well, it was a big box office Tsunami for 2012, just as everyone predicted — except maybe the Mayans, who were busy predicting other things. Years from now people are going to look back at 2012 and say, “Oh yes, 2012. A very good year. A very good box office opening, too.”

2012 had a $23 million Friday night open and cruised to a $65 million domestic opening in North America. It is not a November record and not even Roland Emmerich’s best domestic open (The Day After Tomorrow still has to take its spot at $68 million), but it is still in line with the kind of big openings we have become used to in November, which has become as big a month for the box office as the summer months. Worldwide, the movie raked in $225 million this weekend, including $17.2 million in France and $15.3 million in Russia.

Heck, 2012 needed an opening like this to even come close to making its money back, because the movie cost something like $200 million to make. The folks at Sony must be breathing a little easier – at least the studio won’t be bankrupt. I guess you could say the box office showing wasn’t the end of the world (hee hee hee).

A big story was the big numbers put up by some movies in limited release. A big surprise was the showing of Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire, which was only in 174 locations but made $6,090,000 for a whopping $19,095 a theater this weekend. Also in limited release this weekend was The Fantastic Mr. Fox, which made $260,000 from four theaters. I’ll have more to say about both these movies when they expand in time for Thanksgiving.

Our nominee for Box Office Loser of the Week is Pirate Radio, which missed the Top Ten with a $2,869,000 opening. Too bad.

Overall. the box office weekend looked like this.

2012 – $65,000,000
A Christmas Carol (2009) – $22,325,000
The Men Who Stare at Goats – $6,200,000
Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire – $6,090,000
Michael Jackson’s This Is It – $5,100,000
The Fourth Kind – $4,744,000
Couples Retreat – $4,253,000
Paranormal Activity – $4,200,000
Law Abiding Citizen – $3,932,000
The Box – $3,185,000

That is all for now. Stay tuned for a busy Thanksgiving edition when we look ahead to the potential big haul of The Twilight Saga: New Moon. See you then.

‘Ink’ Producer Responds to Piracy

2009-11-15T06:42:23Z

A month ago, a little film called Paranormal Activity muscled its way into the marketplace powered partly by the people and mostly by the giant mountain of Paramount. As much as it was touted as a the demands of the masses, it was ultimately a pretend democratic movement.

Almost a year ago, I received an email not unlike the usual random shots in the dark we get – arrows let loose against the blinding sun that a filmmaker or independent producer lets fly and then crosses their fingers hoping they hit the target. The email I received was from a husband and wife team of filmmakers who sent a trailer that made me lose my mind. So they sent me the movie, and I loved it. They then spent the entirety of 2009 bleeding themselves dry to either get noticed by the establishment or to release the movie on their own, city by city.

A week ago, that film was one of the most pirated films in the world and, subsequently, a truly independent film with zero studio ties jumped to #16 on IMDB. It was a real democratic movement.

I spoke with Kiowa Winans, the producer of Ink the day it happened, and what she had to offer was something far more nuanced than the “championing of piracy” meme that seems to be spreading like wildfire. After all, this is a complex situation – one that both helps and hurts – and Winans is more aware of that than anyone.

“We’re struggling filmmakers. You’re not ripping off the major studios,” she says to the initial question of how she feels about the piracy. They own 100% of the film, have done all the distribution themselves, paid for all the DVD and Blu-ray copies, so when people steal the film, they are stealing directly from the filmmakers. In this case, they seem fairly complicit.

Since the film is available through Netflix, Blockbuster and through several independent rental stores, it would seem like the filmmakers aren’t the only ones with something at stake, but when I bring that up, Winans informs me that Netflix doubled the amount of their orders on the day of the piracy and the resulting news blitz. The film was stolen, but it created an audience that wasn’t previously there. An audience that ended up legally attaining the movie and making more money for Netflix.

This seems like a tacit celebration of illegal downloading. But Winans dug deeper and gave their official stance:

It’s been astounding, but as indie filmmakers, as studio filmmakers, as any filmmakers we need to know there’s a financial model that works. If we’re unable to pay back our investors on Ink, we can’t go on. If the exposure equates to dollars, we’re gold. If these users only see it on bit torrent and don’t pay, we’re not.”

She then went on to say that it’s clear that the number of people illegally downloading is not balancing out with the few that have gone on to donate to them or buy the film outright. So it’s helping them in one way (exposure) and not helping them in another (money). Sadly, it’s in the way that really matters where people who want something for free are not doing filmmakers any favors.

Then, I bring up Rhett Reese, the co-writer/co-producer of Zombieland who quickly hinted that piracy was going to hurt the chances of seeing a sequel to the hit. Winans was empathetic to his position, saying, “I feel the worst for guys like Rhett,” and claiming that piracy is destroying the incentive for people trying to make a living in filmmaking from being able to do so. “People who think they are Robin Hood are wrong,” she said.

And she’s right. Believing that piracy is stealing from the already-thickly-lined pockets of Fat Cat executives is naive. It’s people like Reese, who are within the studio system but who have to stay on the grind to maintain their career trajectory, who deliver the content that get hurt most by piracy.

Reese went online today to expand on that idea:

No, I don’t believe that 1 download = 1 lost ticket sale or 1 lost DVD sale. Certainly, there are many people who both contribute to a movie’s legitimate B.O. and also download the movie… including, it turns out, the people I singled out on Twitter. There are also many people who download movies who would never pay to see those same movies in any format regardless. But I do believe that there is a significant, non-trivial population of people who might have (in an ideal world with no piracy) paid to see Zombieland, either in theaters or on DVD, but instead chose to watch it for free, because it was easy and didn’t cost them anything.

No, I don’t subscribe to the Robin Hood argument, which claims that rich, greedy Hollywood studios/actors/writers/etc. have enough $ and don’t need more. Nor do I subscribe to the argument that examines positive correlations between downloads and box office and concludes that popularity in the one (downloads) is somehow causing the popularity in the other (box office). Correlation does not imply causality.

Although he used the awesome online handle Super-Grover, Reese didn’t exactly explain how piracy would hurt their chances for a sequel, but extrapolating the logic isn’t all that difficult. Studios make money on the back end. They want a ton of people there opening weekend, but they really aim for the sales of DVDs and Blu-rays. If the studio believes they can’t make the money they want because of piracy, they might see fit not to make the movie at all.

On the other side of the argument is the proof of profitability that seems to have escaped those in the system, at least when it comes to Ink. Winans saw the piracy as unfortunate on face, but recognized the significance of what it meant and ultimately disagreed with Reese’s position on correlation.

“We’ve spent the past 10 months hearing ‘we can’t advertise your movie, it’s too weird, there’s no audience for it,’ from Hollywood. The activity on the torrent sites, the 400,000 that downloaded it has unequivocally proved there’s a massive audience for it,” Winans said.

It’s hard to say whether that’s true or not. It’s impossible to know whether downloads would translate to an audience – the very reason why piracy is such a hazy topic in the first place. One side argues that they are losing money, another argues that they never had that money to begin with because pirates weren’t going to pay in the first place. Unfortunately, there’s no dependable data on the issue so the arguments on both sides are speculative.

But even Winans doesn’t buy into the correlation completely. “I don’t see it as dollars lost. I see it as fans gained.”

And maybe that’s the entire point. For the big studio pictures, there is no upside to piracy. It’s cut and dry. How harmful it is should be up for discussion, but there’s no doubt that it is, in fact, harmful. But for filmmakers like the Winanses who have made a movie that seems to resonate with an audience that Hollywood never wanted to give them, piracy might not be all bad. It might not be good – considering that it hasn’t given the filmmakers any measurable money – but it might not be all bad. This is a question that most (including myself) don’t even want to consider. In a perfect world, stealing is wrong and filmmakers should be treated with respect. But now we have a very real example of filmmakers who are comfortable with their flick being stolen, a rental outlet who has made more money because of it, and a greater audience for a movie.

However, it’s my personal argument that it’s not the piracy that’s raised the profile for Ink. It’s easy to point to it as proof, but it’s certainly not the true cause. What is, is the blood sweat and tears that have gone into a two-person release team taking their film from city to city on their own, getting the word out, and filling theaters from word of mouth. I doubt that anyone would have pirated the film in the first place had they not read about it or seen the strong reviews coming from websites or from the recommendation of friends who got lucky enough to see it on the big screen. So if indie filmmakers are looking for an easy new marketing tool, I think they are out of luck.

Perhaps this is why even Winans doesn’t blindly celebrate piracy. She has the greatest reason to, but she sees the forest for the trees. It’s nice to see a certain brand of success, I’m sure, but as we’re ending our conversation, she raises an excellent question that applies not only to Ink, but to the rest of the film community.

“Now that we’re here, how do we keep going?”

New Caprica Poster is Solid Mix of Sexy and Creepy

2009-11-14T04:09:37Z

The folks at SyFy have sent over the brand new poster for the upcoming series Caprica this evening, and we’re not quite sure what to make of it. It features Zoe Graystone, played by Alessandra Torresan, and the tag line “The Future of Humanity Begins with a Choice.” It is a clear riff on the concept of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, the biblical tale in which Eve eats the apple, thus disobeying God and committing the first sin.

In Caprica, the Battlestar Galactica prequel series, Zoe is the daughter of Daniel Graystone (Eric Stoltz), the man who first creates the Cylon race. After Zoe is killed in a terrorist attack, he looks for a way to bring her back as a synthetic being. Which is where the show’s pilot (currently on DVD) begins).

As for this poster, seen below, I’m concerned that it might be a bit too sexy. Isn’t Zoe in high school in the pilot? I know that actress Alessandra Torresan is 22-years old in real life, but aren’t we going a bit too far with this one? Please share your thoughts below.

Review: The Messenger

2009-11-14T03:56:27Z

The Messenger understands a fundamental truth of warfare: It always has two fronts, and many of the most important battles are fought without weapons and explosions. The picture takes place during the Iraq War, but the conflict it depicts is not between men with guns, or governments with agendas. First-time director Oren Moverman, a veteran screenwriter who wrote this one with Alessandro Camon, looks beyond the headlines in his depiction of the conflict and finds its core not in deserts thousands of miles away, but in the quiet streets and quaint living rooms that dot the American home front.

His protagonists have been given what’s deemed by many to be the worst job in the U.S. Army. Staff sergeant Will Montgomery (Ben Foster) and Captain Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson) are casualty notification officers, charged with reporting deaths overseas to next of kin. They’re the men every military family member doesn’t want to see, the nameless figures that pull up in a flash, report the worst of news and are gone. It’s a grim duty, and it’s one that has to this point been largely ignored by popular depictions of American military life.

Moverman understands the deep, powerful struggle that must accompany such constant grappling with death. He and Camon create characters with disparate methods for handling their job — Stone keeps his distance, Montgomery gets involved with a widow (Samantha Morton) and her stepson. What the men share, and what the filmmaker so powerfully evokes, is a profound helplessness, a sense of total inadequacy born out of the realization that there’s nothing they can do to prevent their endless round of tragic house calls. Stone disguises it with a blustery, comical demeanor and Montgomery broods in silence, but it’s there and over the course of the picture it slowly eats away at whatever shred of dignity they’ve retained.

The employment of a vérité approach spurred by the liberal use of handheld cameras lets the actors inhabit their characters with a rare totality of being. By frequently bringing things in close, emphasizing their stiff physicality, relying on periodic improvisation and valuing the lost art of the monologue, the filmmaker transforms the picture from an observational portrait into a work that truly lives and breathes alongside Montgomery and Stone. Moverman emphasizes their development over the advancement of a superficial plot. He trusts his terrific lead actors to imbue both the dialogue heavy scenes and the quieter moments with the fullness necessary to sustain audience interest. Harrelson, Foster and Morton reward his gamble.

Much has been written about the current conflict’s unsuitability as a film subject. Audiences, it’s said, want escapism from cinema and nothing more. The Messenger, which so successfully harkens back to a very different era of empathetic character driven storytelling, ought to challenge that thesis.

To Montgomery, Stone and their ilk politics don’t matter. Men and women live and die by the metaphoric sword somewhere else. In many respects, they face the most challenging burden of all. Left to sit and wait for bad news from abroad, there’s little to do but stew in their own guilt and helplessness, hoping like hell to make the best of a bad situation they can’t control. Army protocol, which teaches them to keep everything to themselves and avoid reaching out as humans to the fathers, mothers, sons and daughters they contact, only makes things worse.

However, The Messenger is more than the downbeat story of miserable people living miserable lives. In the deep friendships that form over the course of the picture, in the union of three hearts brought together by shared pain, it serves as a genuinely hopeful account of the small personal victories that can happen in a very different sort of combat: That between the heart and what Shakespeare called “the grief that does not speak.”

The Upside: The acting and directing are terrific; the screenplay is intelligent and deeply moving.

The Downside: Occasional slowness. That’s about it.

On the Side: Woody Harrelson has said in multiple interviews that the process of making this movie gave him a deeper appreciation of the sacrifices soldiers make than he’d ever had before.

Junkfood Cinema: 1990: The Bronx Warriors

2009-11-13T21:39:52Z

Editor’s Note: We hope you enjoy this new Friday afternoon column, Junkfood Cinema, by Brian Salisbury. It celebrates movies that are so bad, even though they are also sometimes so good. For more (coming each and every Friday), stay tuned to the Junkfood Cinema Archive. Also, please feel free to let us know what you think of this new weekly feature in the comment section below.

Hello all. Perhaps you are wondering as to the reason I was rejected by every film school in the tri-state area. I wish I could say it was because I was caught night putting with the dean’s daughter or because I drank my weight in scotch and accidentally burned down an archives building. But alas, it is because I have a well-documented addiction to cinema crapiteé. I enjoy quality films like any other respectable film critic, but all too often I find myself pining for the simple, cheesy goodness of a b-film. I don’t know what it is about them that attract me; obviously I am aware of their shortcomings. But there is a comfort and/or nostalgia and/or transcendent entertainment value to these films that I can’t seem to ignore. It’s very much like junkfood in that way; it’s bad for me, but I can’t stop watching. So instead of overcoming my addiction, I have decided to launch this column to share of few of my favorite celluloid snacks with you. My hope is that it will provide fodder for your must-see lists or at least give you something to watch in that coveted midnight time slot. Each week I will provide a breakdown of the film and also an appropriate junkfood pairing to perfectly complement the experience.

1990: The Bronx Warriors

Directed by: Enzo Castellari

Written by: Elisa Briganti, Enzo Castellari, Dardano Sacchetti

Starring: Vic Morrow, Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, Mark Gregory

When you think of Italy, what comes to mind? Perhaps you think of the fine dining and exquisite shopping or maybe the extensive, rich history. If you are a film connoisseur, perhaps you think of the post-neorealist period of Federico Fellini with its heavy Jungian inspiration. Me? I think of lax copyright laws. Welcome to the wonderful world of Italian Knockoff Films. During the 1980’s, which unlike Dr. Abaius is my favorite period for film, there were a number of Italian filmmakers who realized that American audiences could be easily duped. All you needed to do to make a buck was take a film that was popular in the states, strip aways its budget, and flirt carelessly with plagiarism. So if John Carpenter creates a sensation with a film called Escape From New York, then all you need to do is shamelessly mimic that film with an eighth of the budget and call it…After the Fall of New York. Yeah, this is a real thing. Along those same lines, today’s film is a blatant ripoff of The Warriors called 1990: Bronx Warriors.

What Makes It Bad?

Cheesy characters who deliver their dubbed lines as if they are constipated. Two good actors who are obviously just there to pick up a check. Like many Italian Knockoff Films, this movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic society. The film takes advantage of this fact and uses derelict, abandoned buildings as set pieces to reduce production costs. What’s funny is that, unlike Road Warrior or Escape From New York, both of which were also constantly ripped off by this subgenre, The Warriors did not take place in a post-apocalyptic society so the setting really highlights the favoritism of the bottom line.

Fight sequences that seem choreographed by Mrs. Johnson’s fifth grade class at recess.

Why I Love It!

Movies like this are hilarious in their ineptitude. In 1990: Bronx Warriors, you can boil all the hilarity down to a single point of reference: the main character. Like the protagonist character in The Warriors, Trash is a butch badass who takes no crap from anybody…or at least that is how it must have been written. What we get instead is the most obviously gay macho hero in the history of film. I have no problem with gay characters in film, but it’s like watching your high school’s musical where the romantic lead is played by the gayest kid in your class; it’s just awkward to watch him make out with the ingenue. But I’ll be damned if it isn’t funny.

1990: Bronx Warriors features Fred “The Hammer” Williamson proving that he can be the quintessential badass even while wearing Olivia Newton-John’s headband and a puffy shirt. Hooray! Also, despite the terrible fight sequences, this film does feature a scene with the most flame-thrower deaths in all of moviedom. The climax of the film really showcases the directors penchant for melting his actors.

There are so many over-the-top moments to this that pseudo-creatively borrow from The Warriors. For example, The Warriors features those super cool, weirdo Furies gang sporting the baseball uniforms and facepaint. It was a little outlandish but also grounded in the fact that their gang’s focal point was a giant park. So what does 1990: Bronx Warriors give us? How about a gang of Broadway dancers painted up like the Ultimate Warrior and brandishing dancing canes? Yes these Bob Fosse rejects pirouette their way into the lame villain hall of fame.

Cram all this into one choppy “story” and season with watching the antagonist’s corpse getting towed through the streets by our hero and you’ve got a haphazard copy of The Warriors that lives on another planet. I would recommend this to anyone who A.) enjoys bad post-apocalyptic films B.) thought The Warriors was too straight or C.) owns a flamethrower they’ve been dying to use but never had the motivation.

Junkfood Pairing:

Hydrox Cookies - What better than the Oreo knockoffs to complement this once-in-a-lifetime experience. You get all the sugar, carbs, and various dyes for half the price…and half the deliciousness.

Kevin Carr’s Weekly Report Card for 11.13.09

2009-11-13T15:50:39Z

2012

Studio: Columbia Pictures

Rated: PG-13 for intense disaster sequences and some language.

Starring: John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover

Directed by: Roland Emmerich

What it’s about: The Mayans predicted it, and now Woody Harrelson is calling out for Armageddon. Some think the end of the world will come on December 21, 2012, and Roland Emmerich has now made a movie about it. John Cusack, Amanda Peet and Chiwetel Ejiofor try to escape crumbling freeways, giant tsunamis and disastrous volcanoes.

What I liked: There are certain directors that make utter crap, but I love none-the-less. Along with Brett Ratner, Paul W.S. Anderson and Renny Harlin, Roland Emmerich is one of these. Let’s face it, no one destroys the world like this guy, and he reminds us with 2012 that he is the master of disaster.

Like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the reason to see 2012 is for the special effects. Emmerich has five years of digital effects progress on his last disaster epic, The Day After Tomorrow, and every bit of it is on the screen. It’s just an orgy of destruction and, as morbid as it is to watch, it’s a hell of a lot of fun.

What I didn’t: As much of a glutton Emmerich is for his disaster footage, he’s also a glutton for his own characters and dialogue. This comes through in the running time, which tops off at more than 2 1/2 hours. There’s really no excuse for this much exposition because no one is going to remember this film for the characters or what they say.

The characters are utterly forgettable, with the exception of Woody Harrelson who is like Art Bell on crack. Sadly, he’s only in a small part of this movie. The rest of the relatively decent cast is left to deliver melodramatic dialogue in the down time between the shit-your-pants awesome action.

This movie is silly, yes, but fun. It would have been better with a more gutsy editor.

Who is gonna like this movie: Disaster movie fanatics and CGI hounds.

FANTASTIC MR. FOX

Studio: Fox Searchlight

Rated: PG for action, smoking and slang humor.

Starring: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman, Bill Murray and Wally Wolodarsky

Directed by: Wes Anderson

What it’s about: Wes Anderson brings Roald Dahl’s classic novel to life with the brave choice of stop-motion animation. George Clooney stars as Mr. Fox, a bird hunter who settles down as a writer, husband and father. Craving the golden days, Mr. Fox sets his sights on the farms of Boggis, Bunce and Bean to steal their food and cider, incurring the farmers’ wrath. Mr. Fox hides his family but makes a brave attempt to fight back.

What I liked: I dearly love Wes Anderson’s movies, and this movie did not disappoint as well. Having read the book as a child, I didn’t remember much of the story, but as the film played out, it all came back to me. Roald Dahl has a great grasp of the quirk, and Anderson gives his own take on that. It’s a perfect blend of the two artists’ styles.

The voice cast is great, and this is where we see much of Anderson’s odd style. The choice of stop-motion animation was great because it gives a rustic alternative to the now-standard CGI flick.

Our illustrious executive editor Neil Miller has said that this is probably Wes Anderson’s most mainstream film, and he’s absolutely right. Using the animation makes the film more accessible to the mainstream and kids as well. It’s still on the fringe, but that’s part of its charm.

What I didn’t: The only real problem with this movie is that it takes a few minutes to get used to. The animation is rough but charming, and the voice cast isn’t necessarily what you’d expect. Give it ten minutes, and you should love it.

Who is gonna like this movie: Kids and fans of Wes Anderson and Roald Dahl.

Fat Guys at the Movies Ep. 140 – 2012 Pounds

2009-11-13T10:11:07Z

On This Week’s Show: Kevin and Neil meet up in the Magical Studio in the Sky for an epic show about the end of the world. They gush (sort of) over Roland Emmerich’s movies and dance a jig around how awesome Fantastic Mr. Fox is. And Neil takes to the high seas in support of Pirate Radio while Kevin grumbles after not being offered a press screening. They lay down a Fat Guy Five about Roland Emmerich’s best movies, examine the box office numbers and even read an iTunes review and listen to a listener voice mail, proving that the phone number does work. Save us, John Cusack!

Films Reviewed this Week: 2012, Pirate Radio and Fantastic Mr. Fox

Download this Episode

Episode Schedule:

Segment 1 [8:50] – Review of 2012

Segment 2 [10:40] – Review of Pirate Radio and Fantastic Mr. Fox

Segment 3 [12:45] – Box office recap, listener feedback and the Fat Guy Five: Roland Emmerich’s Five Best Movies

Segment 4 [6:35] – DVD Round-Up: Neil’s picks are Up, Monsters Inc., Heat, Godzilla and The Negotiatoron Blu-ray as well as Ink on DVD; Kevin’s picks include Justice League Unlimited, Watchmen: The Ultimate Cut, Gabriel Iglesias: I’m Not Fat I’m Fluffy and 2012: Supernova; Review Recap and a look ahead to next week.

Next Week’s Show:

Kevin and Neil cheer on Team Jacob with New Moon, The Blind Side and Planet 51

Show Links:

The flagship episode of Fat Guys at the Movies: Second Reel
FSR’s Weekly Report Card for 2012 and Fantastic Mr. Fox

Give the Fat Guys some love:

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Follow Kevin on Twitter (@kevincarr)
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Review: 2012

2009-11-13T08:36:38Z

You know how movies with ticking bombs almost always have the climactic scene where the good guys work feverishly to disarm the explosives before they detonate? They’re sweating and frantic, the music is pumping, the countdown clock is only a second or two away from zero, and… they deactivate the bomb right before it would have exploded. Timer stops at 00:00:01. Everybody breathes a sigh of relief. The end.

Roland Emmerich’s 2012 is twenty-seven of those scenes stretched across two and a half hours.

It’s 2009 (that’s right, it’s now!), and a young Indian scientist notifies his American counterpart that evil neutrinos from the Sun are heating up the Earth’s core at an alarming rate. Dr. Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) rushes back to Washington and warns his superiors that the world is heading towards an unavoidable, Emmerichian event that will “cause life as we know it to cease to exist.” As the Earth gets hotter, the crust will begin to liquefy and eventually the landmasses will start shifting around the globe like a game of seven-continent Monty. The president’s head science geek, Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt), takes Helmsley under his wing and… we jump ahead to 2012 where Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) is running late for work. He’ll spend the next two hours running late for everything, and all the while death will be nipping at his heels.

And I don’t use the phrase “nipping at his heels” flippantly either… Curtis moves from one set-piece to the next just barely escaping death each time. If you’ve watched the trailer then you’ve already seen some of his close calls. He outruns cracks in the Earth with his limo, he outruns fireballs with his Winnebago, he outruns an enormous fire-filled explosion on foot, he outruns deadly smoke clouds, collapsing buildings, and falling subway trains (?) with a plane… always by inches, always by seconds. Each. And. Every. Time. And he’s not alone either. All of the characters marked as survivors (always easily identifiable in an Emmerich disaster film) continuously escape death’s computer animated talons with barely a moment to spare. It’s exciting the first dozen times or so, but eventually the suspense grows tedious and the scenes become as pedestrian as a shot of someone getting up to change the TV channel.

Almost as common and egregious as the nick-of-time escapes are the sheer number of coincidences required to bring the story together. Curtis wrote a science fiction book a long time ago that only a few hundred people have ever read (we know this because it gets repeated four times), so now he drives limousines for a living. One of his biggest fans is Dr. Helmsley, something we discover when the two meet by chance in Yellowstone National Park while Curtis is camping with his kids and Helmsley is there monitoring the world’s largest inactive volcano for activity! The doctor’s entourage includes armed soldiers which piques Curtis’ curiosity, but the government isn’t very forthcoming with more information. Luckily, Yellowstone also happens to be home to radio host/conspiracy theorist Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) who meets Curtis and happily fills in all of the blanks! He even offers a map to humanity’s only chance for survival, a map that leads to the same mysterious destination Helmsley is bound for. But how will Curtis get there? Hmm, maybe it has something to do with his most recent limo client, a wealthy Russian with plans to be among the .01% of humanity who survive this cataclysm. What are the odds…?

Emmerich is perhaps best-known for his subtle handling of character emotions and relationships. That was a pretty bold lie wasn’t it? You probably read it with a much straighter face than I wrote it too. But seriously, these characters wear their plastic emotions on their sleeves and pant legs to an extraordinary degree. They make heartfelt speeches at the drop of a building about the value and definition of humanity, and every single one of them makes a tearful phone call to a doomed love one (unless they themselves are the doomed one). Each time it’s played for maximum emotional effect and each time it falls flat. And for some reason it’s also only the dads who seem to care enough to make this last minute call. There’s a father who drifted apart from his son, a father who stopped speaking to his son because he married a (very hot) Japanese woman, a father who raised his daughter single-handedly after his wife passed away… I don’t recall a single mother calling her child to say goodbye. That may or may not say something about German women, I don’t know.

But let’s be honest, this is a Roland Emmerich film so does any of this really matter (or surprise anyone)? You don’t come to his films for the character development and nuance, you come for destruction on an epic scale. And 2012 does not disappoint on that front. Emmerich destroys more buildings, vehicles, and landmarks here than he has in all of his previous films, and he does it beautifully. Emmerich lets his camera (and our eyes) linger on the utter decimation for extended periods of time too. He doesn’t use close crops or Michael Bay-style editing to appease the ADD crowd and instead trusts in the work of his digital artists. One shot flies over a neighborhood as streets open up and swallow houses, cars, and people alike, and it’s a definite ‘wow’ scene. And there are actually several more like it, all equally impressive. The downside is that you often have too much to look at. I know, it’s a weak complaint, but some of the wide shots actually give you too much to take in making the overall effect feel muted.

Emmerich also kills more people onscreen in 2012 than probably every other film released this year combined. Unnamed humans are crushed, burned, drowned, trampled, blown up, run over, washed away, swallowed up by the Earth… the scene where the plane narrowly avoids two collapsing buildings by flying between them has upset some people for it’s supposed 9/11 connotations, and that was just from the trailer. The film pushes the visual connection even further as Emmerich zooms closer to one of the towers and shows people clinging for their life and falling to their deaths. There’s an argument to be made about films like these deserving an R-rating simply due to the sheer amount of death and carnage depicted onscreen, or maybe that should just be reserved for movies that use dirty words.

There are no shortage of recognizable faces amongst the death, destruction, and melodrama. Cusack is obviously the biggest name, and I can’t help but picture him standing in his agent’s office laughing at the script for 2012 he’s holding in one hand while keeping a curious eye on his potential paycheck in the other. Aside from the others already mentioned, Cusack is joined in his quest to save humanity by George Segal (Carbon Copy) as a seafaring jazz singer, Thandie Newton (Mission: Impossible II) as the U.S. President’s daughter, Stephen McHattie (Pontypool) as a futuristic ship’s captain, Danny Glover (Gone Fishin’) as Thandie Newton’s father, Amanda Peet (”Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”) as Curtis’ ex-wife, and Beverly Elliot (Walking Tall) as Cruise Ship Lady #3.

2012 is exactly what you think it is, and either you enjoy Emmerich’s particular brand of mass slaughter or you don’t. The dialogue is as lactose-filled as a sedan-sized cheese wheel, the science is wonky, the logic is absent, the characters are one dimensional, their fates are predictable, the film is probably thirty minutes too long… and it still manages to look pretty damn amazing from beginning to end. The CGI work here is often stunning, occasionally breathtaking, and constantly offering impressive visuals to leave you slack-jawed. High praise? Not really, but for a brainless, effects-driven blockbuster film you could definitely do somewhat worse than 2012.

The Upside: As you’d expect from Emmerich… the effects and devastation are awe-inspiring, the laughs are frequent and often unintentional, and the dog lives

The Downside: As you’d also expect from Emmerich… the dialogue is aurally abusive, the emotional manipulation is blatant and flagrant, the adherence to real-world physics is non-existent, the screenplay consists of coincidence followed by CGI event followed by coincidence followed by CGI event and so on, and the dog lives

On the Side: Of all the unanswered questions you’re left with at the end of 2012, none are more mysterious than the reasoning behind Cusack’s character name. Jackson Curtis? You know what that spells backwards? 50 Cent. Craaaazy!

Watch the 2012 trailer below:

30 Rock Review: The Problem Solvers

2009-11-13T08:28:31Z

Episode: “The Problem Solvers” (Season Four, Episode 5)

Synopsis: The humble attitude of new TGS cast member Jack “Danny” Baker (Cheyenne Jackson) causes Jenna and Tracy to re-think their whip-cracking treatment of Kenneth as they team up to form a duo – aptly named “The Problem Solvers” – to help people solve problems rather than cause them. Meanwhile, Jack and Liz begin a business war when Liz decides to shop herself around to agents when Jack announces that he’s created a Dealbreaker talk show based on Liz’s book and wants her to host.

Review: The motley crew of 30 Rock has become a family to us dedicated fans. We’ve enjoyed the guest spots by Jon Hamm, Salma Hayek and Alan Alda, but since they all came from different worlds they never truly felt like they belong – Jon Hamm belongs on Mad Men, Salma Hayek belongs in the sexual fantasies of men and Alan Alda belongs…wherever. Ultimately, our allegiances always belonged and returned to Liz Lemon, Jack Donaghy, Tracy Jordan, et al. Tonight a new cast member joined the 30 Rock family; a cast member with no previous ties (in factual and fictional life) to any other sitcoms or films. Whether he sticks around on the show or not (chances are he won’t), it’s safe to say that his debut was worth remembering.

As soon as Danny (so called by Jack so there will only be one Jack around the studio) shows up he sets himself apart from the other cast members – he’s got a cheery disposition, eager blue eyes, and humble Canadian sensibilities, which sets up a delightful running gag about his inability to pronounce the word about instead of “aboot.” For Liz and for viewers, it’s refreshing to see the introduction of some new, ego-less blood onto the show especially considering Cheyenne Jackson has some acting chops, good comedic timing and – let’s be honest – is easy on the eyes.

His fish out of water predicament disarms Kenneth, who’s unsure how to react when his page services are not required and worries Tracy and Jenna when he says that someone like Kenneth, who has been ritually underappreciate, could one day be in charge of the company. Tracy and Jenna seem to get their best material from when they’re one in the same (small) mind and their creation of The Problem Solvers is no exception. With some good jokes, just enough sprinkling of their respective egoes, and another great running gag about how they can’t even fix their own minor problem, both Tracy Morgan and Jane Krakowski are possibly at their strongest they’ve been so far this season. For instance, when Jenna, donned in a t-shirt labelled “Solvers,” and Tracy, sporting a “The Problem” t-shirt to her left, notice their group name doesn’t read correctly from left to right, they come up with this gem:

Jenna: Hang on – our t-shirts are wrong. Do you want to switch where we’re standing or switch our t-shirts?
Tracy: Just to be safe, let’s do both.

That’s funny enough, but it gets even better when the scene then quickly cuts to show them standing in Liz’s office with Tracy’s shirt entirely too small and tight while Jenna’s is much too large and baggy. Just another fine example of Emmy-winning writing married to Emmy-winning editing.

Additionally, Danny’s turning of Kenneth’s world upside down ends up not only culminating in one of the show’s many characteristic industry pokes (”Mr Baker, you’ve just made me feel terrible and said the word ‘about’ correctly. Congratulations, you’re an actor!”), but also possibly one of the finer performances from Jack McBrayer. As Kenneth stands there instigating Danny to give into his anger ala Emperor Palpatine, McBrayer’s face and diction convey a quiet menace that’s really funny, kind of creepy, and overall, very impressive. It’s a great way to bring the episode back full circle as Tracy and Jenna learn to appreciate Kenneth, Kenneth finds joy in taking care of others, and Danny acclamates himself to the nuthouse that is TGS.

However, it’s Jack and Liz that once again steal the show. After taking some advice from Jenna (is there any other kind?) to seek outside representation for the Dealbreaker talk show, Liz finds herself on Jack’s bad side. Before Liz announces her seeking outside representation, it’s a little off-putting to see Jack so warm and friendly towards her, but afterward he switches right back to the good old Jack we know and love – the Jack that made Josh’s agent do the crab walk in season one’s “Hard Ball.” Liz first seeks the representation of a junior agent that must’ve seen funny on paper, but didn’t seem to be executed that well as his nerdy glasses and oversized suits make him seem like an out of place caricature. Still, Liz and Jack’s squabbles lead to an emotional ground that 30 Rock infrequently treads, but as shown in last season’s “The One,” can do quite effectively. The realization that Liz wants to do business with Jack and Jack wants to do business with Liz is touching and made no less effective by the fact that we knew they were going to reconcile the whole time. Their reunion at Rockefeller Center cutely and humorously pokes fun of the countless romance scenes filmed in New York City (complete with sappy strings and nauseating camera spins) and shows that theirs is a rapport unmatched by an television couple today. In the meantime, we also get to laugh at crappy reality programs with the mentioning of “Prison Breakdance,” “Are You Stronger Than a Dog?” and “I’m a Celebrity Dog, Get Me Arf of Here!”

Grade: A. I don’t know who the janitor is, but I hope we see him in more episodes. Having said that…

Favorite Quote: [Janitor] – “He looks like all the guys in my magazines.”

The Reject Report Preps for the End of the World in 2012

2009-11-13T08:24:45Z

Well, the end of the world is coming to a theater near you this weekend, and that will be the main focus here at the Reject Report. Yes, the long-awaited disaster epic 2012 is finally upon us and it is sure to be one big hit. That’s pretty much the main order of business beyond a few limited releases this weekend.

There is, though, one other wide release besides 2012 this weekend. It is Pirate Radio, and it stars Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy and Rhys Ifans in a story about a jolly band of rebel deejays. It’s set in the era of those outlaw pirate radio stations that used to broadcast to the British Isles from boats in the North Sea in the Sixties. Fun stuff. Richard Curtis writes and directs.

Personally, I’m probably more interested in seeing Pirate Radio this weekend, mainly because I’m a sucker for anything British from the Sixties, whether it be Austin Powers or any other movie. Still, it’s only in 882 locations so I see maybe a $3.4 million domestic haul for this one. In a sure sign of trouble, the folks at Focus Features changed the name of the movie already. The original title was going to be The Boat that Rocked. Actually, that was probably a more interesting title, but I’ll still see the movie and see if I like it.

Watch the Pirate Radio trailer:

Now onto the end of the world, and our friend the director Roland Emmerich has done it again with yet another one of his apocalyptic movies. He’s made Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow and a whole host of movies. Now he takes on 2012, named for the year in the Mayan calendar when the end of the world is supposed to happen. The all-star cast features John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Thandie Newton, Danny Glover, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Oliver Platt and Woody Harrelson. Apparently there’s a lot of destruction to look forward to in the movie, including the destruction of Yellowstone National Park, a tsunami engulfing Washington D.C., and a host of other terrible things.

Now on to my fearless prediction. Personally, I fully expect the critics to completely crucify this movie (as they have done to Roland Emmerich in the past), but I also fully expect the audiences to ignore the critics and go see it anyway. For whatever reason — the American psyche, I dunno — it just seems domestic audiences will rush to see apocalypse movies and flicks with a lot of end-of-the-world death and destruction. To me, this is the kind of movie American audiences will eat up, with lots of nutty stuff happening that fits right in with what the conspiracy theorists and doomsday-type people like to believe. My prediction is $63 million for 2012.

Watch the 2012 trailer:

And here is my fearless prediction of how the weekend will unfold for the Top Ten:

2012 $63 million
A Christmas Carol $17 million
The Men Who Stare at Goats $8.5 million
Michael Jackson’s This is It $8.1 million
The Fourth Kind $6.5 million
Paranormal Activity $5 million
The Box $4.2 million
Couples Retreat $3.7 million
Pirate Radio $3.4 million
Law Abiding Citizen $3.3 million

That’s it! Back to see if my box office prediction for 2012 comes true later this weekend here at the Reject Report. (Hope the 2012 doomsday predictions don’t come true, though.)

Review: Pirate Radio

2009-11-13T07:11:26Z

If you know me personally, or read anything I write, you know that I worship the 1960s and the music of the time. I grew up behind the seat belt of my dad’s Chevy Silverado, driving around town with the Oldies station blaring out songs about Brown Sugar tasting so good, My Guitar Gently weeping, and People Trying to put down my father’s generation. I fell in love with grinding guitars, amps that never worked quite right, and the homemade sound of just trying to be louder and more soulful than the guys who were just on stage.

As if it were really hard to impress me when a soundtrack includes some of the coolest Rock ‘n’ Roll of the mid-60s, Pirate Radio (aka The Boat That Rocked) goes far beyond the Whiter Shade of Pale in order to build an irreverent story that captures the (romanticized) spirit of the time and become one of the funniest comedies of the year.

With Britain still refusing to play Rock on the airwaves, the explosion of American and British bands finds a home out at sea where free-spirited jockeys spread the peace, love, sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll.

It’s difficult to talk about the film without just doing an overview of the characters because each and every one fits together like a puzzle piece coming together to form a very fuzzy image. There’s The Count (Phillip Seymour Hoffman), the lone American who seems like an optimistic cowboy version of Hoffman’s character back in Almost Famous; Doctor Dave (Nick Frost), the big and beautiful sex-obsessed prankster; Quentin (Bill Nighy), the calmly insane captain and business man behind the whole endeavor; Simon (Chris O’Dowd), the unsure puppy dog looking for true love; Young Carl (Tom Sturridge), who’s sent to the ship in a foolish attempt to set him on the straight and narrow; Thick Kevin (Tom Brooke), who is not smart; Felicity (Katherine Parkinson), the sweet, lone woman who we’re constantly reminded is a lesbian; Midnight Mark (Tom Wisdom), the sexiest man who barely says anything even on the air; Bob (Ralph Brown), the Deadhead, bearded wastoid; and Gavin (Rhys Ifans) the savior of them all as the most famous DJ at the time. Not to mention a few side characters on the boat that deliver the news or run the equipment. And the slew of girls that are delivered by ferry bi-monthly.

That list long enough? Luckily, writer/director Richard Curtis tosses them all in a room together to create the sort of frenetic, Animal House-esque energy of people truly not giving a shit. They get their jobs done because they are in love with music, and their down time is spent working out differences large and small with childish solutions mixed with some genuine compassion. Of course, they broadcast it all as a sort of proto-reality show where a nation of devoted listeners jam out all night and live vicariously on a ship of fools – experiencing the sex and fun while riding the radio waves.

To put it simply: this film is a hell of a lot of fun.

And, in a year that hasn’t had a ton of great comedies (except a few), it’s a welcome change of pace that really hits the laugh lines hard, refusing to give into dramatics even while disaster is striking.

In fact, the buzzkill moments that could have been involve Sir Alistair Dormandy (Kenneth Branagh), the MP who is trying to outlaw the pirates throughout the entire film. He’s a polished, mustache-ringing Snidely Whiplash of government who is played for laughs and finds himself at the butt-end of the joke in almost every scene. Especially when he’s getting the upper hand. The fact that his scenes are some of the funniest in the movie despite the noted lack of chaos in them is a testament to Curtis creating a character that is just a few inches deeper than a cliche – a man who we can sympathize with mildly, but hate with the flippant hand wave of apathy. He’s not a villain so much as someone you really just want to piss off so we can have our music.

The film is perfectly balanced – one story about a man threatening to kill fun, and the story those scenes cut to where a group of rebels live it up on a boat. There’s also love, family issues, and a certain amount of coming-of-age (exactly the kinds that you’d expect from Richard Curtis, actually), and they all fill in the gaps that otherwise would have sunk the ship as a meaningless display of frivolity without an anchor. Luckily, Curtis has made a kind of movie that hasn’t been seen in a long time – a film that is happy to build serious and sweet moments, and equally happy to knock them right off the pedestal in a clever way. It’s called comedy, and it’s nice to have it back.

If there is a rough patch, it’s that some of the sequences don’t quite gel in context with one another. At least, not without really digging into the mindset of free love and truly living care free. It’s granted some leeway for solving hard problems with a wink and smile, but Curtis does get away with too much of it in one or two sections that almost seem unnecessary.

Despite the cast being overstuffed, everyone works together, sharing the spotlight and laugh lines in equal measure. There are no punchline hogs here, no stars attempting to out-scenery-chew, no dominant figures. Several characters are given more to work with, but ultimately, some of the funniest stuff come from characters I had difficulty remembering the names for. People with only 10 lines or so.

Over all, the film is undeniably hilarious. It’s dry, but not inaccessible, with a story that’s only heartfelt when it has to be, a cast that’s brilliant when they need to be, and a writer/director that guides the whole thing toward side-splitting success.

Not to mention ear-drum-splitting success.

The Upside: Great characters, great directing, great story, and a classic-style comedy. And that damned perfect soundtrack.

The Downside: A few moments that seem unnecessary, and a few dramatic solutions that don’t perfectly fly.

On the Side: Jack Davenport plays a man called Twatt in it, and apparently Dormandy’s secretary was originally meant to be called Ms. Clit.

Emmerich Wants to Celebrate ‘Independence Day’ Again. And Again.

2009-11-13T05:00:58Z

After watching 2012 the other day, which feels like it should have been called Independence Day, 2012, I can’t say I’m thrilled to hear Roland Emmerich discuss a fervor for not only making a sequel, but making two for the film that really vaulted him into the great beyond of filmmaking.

Yeah, yeah, Stargate was awesome, too.

According to the MTV Movies Blog, Emmerich really wants to roll the dice on more ID movies.

The money quote here:

What we want to do in the next – it’s actually two movies – we want to do a bigger arc,” he explained. “Independence Day was always like the king who leads his troops into battle against an evil force, and that stays like that.”

So we’d need Big Willy back. Maybe see what Jeff Goldblum has going on these days. And we’d need Roland Emmerich’s record to keep spinning, his car to keep idling, and his directing to go back to the well that he’s been not-so-unobviously trying to get back to with his recent films. At least he’s being more open about it now.

The question is, could Will Smith take time off from making a sequel to a film that came out in 1997 (Men In Black) to make a sequel to a film that came out in 1996?

What do you think?

Is There An Upside to Piracy?

2009-11-13T07:34:49Z

There has been a lot of chatter on the ole’ interwebs about piracy lately. Come to think of it, there is always a lot of chatter on the internet about movie piracy. This is where it happens, where it is championed, where it is railed against and where its most common victims desire to make their money. Hollywood wants to find a way to make money online, and many users want to find away around paying for the movies they want to see.

And so it is, a tale of two viewpoints. First is an interesting story that has caused a bit of an ethical dilemma here at Reject HQ. Earlier in the week, our friends at Double Edge Films — friends enough to put a quote from Dr. Cole Abaius’ review of their film Ink on the DVD cover — were all over the place talking about piracy, and how it has affected their film. This week, Ink was pirated and quickly rose to become the #1 download on popular Bit-Torrent sites such as The Pirate Bay. This also catapulted Ink into the top 20 films on IMDb’s Moviemeter, for the first time giving this brilliant little film the attention it so desperately deserves.

We were brought into the mix when the folks at Double Edge Films sent us a message on Twitter (@DoubleEdgeFilms) asking us to cover their story. So I considered it. In long-form, they sent the following to their mailing list:

Dear Fans and Friends,

Over the weekend something pretty extraordinary happened. Ink got ripped off. Someone bit torrented the movie (we knew this would happen) and they posted it on every pirate site out there. What we didn’t expect was that within 24 hours Ink would blow up. Ink became the number 1 most downloaded movie on several sites having been downloaded somewhere between 150,000 to 200,000 times as far as we can tell. Knowing there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it, we’ve embraced the piracy and are just happy Ink is getting unprecedented exposure.

As a result, Ink is now ranked #16 on IMDb’s movie meter and is currently one of the top 20 most popular movies in the world.

This all started as a result of the completely underground buzz that you’ve each helped us create. We’ve had no distributor, no real advertising and yet the word of mouth that you’ve generated has made the film blow up as soon as it became available worldwide. So many of you came to see the movie multiple times, bringing friends and family and many of you have bought the DVD and Blu-ray from us. All of this built up and built up and suddenly it exploded.

We don’t know exactly where this will all lead, but the exposure is unquestionably a positive thing.

Ink hits Netflix, Blockbuster, iTunes and many more tomorrow! Remember to get your signed copies, t-shirts and posters at the Ink Store.

Thank you so much for the constant love and support.

Jamin and Kiowa
Double Edge Films

Since this was sent out, reports have been flooding in about Ink, saying that it has been downloaded over 400,000 times since it was pirated earlier this week. What our friends Jamin and Kiowa have gained is exposure, exposure that will hopefully propel the proper release of Ink on Netflix, iTunes and in stores.

I was personally hesitant to report such a story though, as I’m not one to champion piracy as a winning strategy. Sure, every once in a while something like this happens and there’s an implied benefit. But on the whole, piracy is, and never will be beneficial to the filmmaking profession. So I’m not ready to throw in the towel and say that piracy is going to make Ink a surprise success. The fact that Ink is a quality film will determine its success. This is an inadvertent publicity stunt.

Then there is the potential negative side of the situation, of which we hear so much about. The MPAA will never hesitate to remind us of the millions of dollars that piracy costs the studio system every year, and the effects these losses have on the viewing public. A study conducted in 2006 (as reported by The Washington Post) said that the effect piracy has on the U.S. economy could be as big as $20 billion dollars, crossing over into other sectors beyond entertainment. That was 2006. Imagine what it must be now, as the economy dips, unemployment rises and more and more folks at home sign on to Torrent sites and download movies.

Beyond that, there is fear. Fear that studios have over how much money they stand to lose if their systems are breached and their movies make it out into the wild. As an example, check out the comment made today via Twitter by Zombieland screenwriter Rhett Reese (@RhettReese) on the impact of piracy:

Zombieland currently the most pirated movie on bit torrent. Over one million downloads and counting… Beyond depressing. This greatly affects the likelihood of a Zombieland 2.

This is someone within the industry who is showing fear of piracy, and how it may affect his ability to make a sequel for a successful, fan favorite film. Whether or not his statement is completely true — as we’ve never been shown evidence that piracy impacts studio decisions on sequels — it is indicative of the mindset around piracy within the industry. And if the trend continues, it isn’t all that insane to think that it could have such an effect.

Don’t get me wrong, I know just as well as any of you that piracy is out there, that it cannot be stopped outright and that just about anyone who has grown up in the internet generation has download something illegal, be it software, music or movies. My stance is simply that I support purchasing movies. And at no point would I go so far as to say that piracy is a viable marketing tool — no matter how inadvertently it changes the fortune of a small movie like Ink.

These little “victories” for piracy shouldn’t be celebrated, because who knows if they really are victories. How many people will really go out and buy Ink after they’ve already downloaded it for free? You tell me…

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