Questions abound in the Film Tweak of 1974’s revenge porno, Death Wish:

The 70s, the golden era of wall coverings?
The 70s, the golden era of character extras?
The 70s, the golden era of murder with impunity?
The 70s, the golden era of double-breasted men’s outerwear?
Homeland, the golden era of Dropped Chekhovs?
Who does Bernard Goetz look like?
What is the saddest kind of structure fire?

Death Wish introduces featured character extra, Jeff Goldblum.

Recommended snack accompaniment: cold vengeance

1. Load your media into the player and play the film until you see a logo ‘MGM’ featuring a lion.
2. Hit pause as soon as the lion fades to a completely blank/black screen.
3. Start this Tweak and wait for us to say, ‘3..2..1..PLAY.’ When we say ‘play’, hit ‘play’ to continue the film; our movie and yours should be playing in synch.

Disclaimer: Nothing said in this Film Tweaker is known to be true. All names appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

None of the following are metaphors; they are actual, real, literal topics discussed by your Film Tweakers. They are honest and true and good: Reductive understandings of suicide, pomo architecture, initializing your name to be pretentious, memorable cinematic musics, the grotesque actualities of the human leg and the human face, the number of songs on Earth, the curse of the ‘Best supporting actor award’, and a proper characterization of metaphor.

Begotten was directed by whomever took photos of all the negatives and stars F. Murray Abraham, Sir Ben Kingsley, Daniel Day Lewis, Hugh Jackman, Jim Caveizal, Forest Whitaker, Paris Hilton, Thom Yorke, Spike Lee, Will Smith, Adrien Brody, James Brolin’s son, Sam Jackson, Laurence Fishburne, Matthey Mcconughey, Madonna, Warren Beatty, Cuba Gooding Jr, Halley Berry, Marisa Tomei, Christophe Waltz, Lindsey Lohan, Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Willem Dafoe, John Cusack, Kevin Smith, and Robin Williams. Featuring Tom Hulce as “Timothy Huttom” and Nolte as “Busey”.

Recommended snack accompaniment: Thumbtacks

1. Load your media into the player and play the film until you see cue screen for “World Artists Home Video”.
2. Hit pause as soon as the cue screen fades to a completely blank/black screen.
3. Start this Tweak and wait for us to say, ‘3..2..1..PLAY.’ When we say ‘play’, hit ‘play’ to continue the film; our movie and yours should be playing in synch.

Disclaimer: Nothing said in this Film Tweaker is known to be true. All names appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Film Tweak party tonight! The second Tweak in the Los Angeles is a Character series (see also: Barton Fink), was recorded 4am and it shows (sounds?). Hear Dick Warlock drift off to sleep as Roscoe repeats the phrase, ‘the city is a character’, an embarrassing 61 times. Also discussed: some other cities and the theory that every actor should play one character their entire lives.
Directed by 9/11 truther Alex Cos, Repo Man stars the Circle Jerks, Lee Ving, and the Jock from The Breakfast Club.

Recommended snack accompaniment: food

1. Load your media into the player and play the film until you see a logo ‘MGM’ featuring a lion.
2. Hit pause as soon as the lion fades to a completely blank/black screen.
3. Start this Tweak and wait for us to say, ‘3..2..1..PLAY.’ When we say ‘play’, hit ‘play’ to continue the film; our movie and yours should be playing in synch.

Disclaimer: Nothing said in this Film Tweaker is known to be true. All names appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

In this second in a series of comedies from the 80s that are cripplingly depressing, and feature pre-2010s beard action, the Tweakers investigate whether you can be depressed if you are successful and sexccessful, which makes this sound like a pretty serious tweak. Directed by Blake Edwards (Pink Panther, 10), Skin Deep stars Jack Ritter, Martin Mull, and 80’s Lena Dunham.

Recommended snack accompaniment: Virgin Screwdriver

High School month continues at Film Tweakers! Of all the Nicholsons he’s done, Christian Slater does his best as he makes teenage suicide cool again in the film that made Mean Girls, Clueless, and Pump Up the Volume possible. Tweaked topics include high school showering rules, declining working class buying power, alcohol/music parings, dream sequence color palettes, Louis CK being a sexist pig, yōkai, and saying #MockingJay to get hits.

Recommended snacks: Does it really need to be said?

Your Tweakers get serious as they expose the horrors in this 1985 experiment in Hughenics upon the Oreo Brat Pack. In the process, they ruin* what was your fondest memory of your tween years — believing yourself represented on the screen by one of the club totems. Also discussed: “Real Holidays”, Fort Kempf, True Detective, and why movies starring/about/with children are terrible.

*If you like The Breakfast Club you are a Nazi.

Recommended snack accompaniment: Pixy Stix

Wolverines! Your Tweakers are still on holiday when they phone this one in. Try to stay awake–unlike the Tweakers–as they discuss immigration allegories, inflation (how does it work?!), off-brand Brat Packs, what real cities look like, white natives, sincere caring about death, logical consistency when supporting guerillas/insurgents, and tactics of tank battles (based on other movies).

1. Load your media into the player and play the film until you see a logo ‘MGM’ featuring a lion.
2. Hit pause as soon as the lion fades to a completely blank/black screen.
3. Start this Tweak and wait for us to say, ‘3..2..1..PLAY.’ When we say ‘play’, hit ‘play’ to continue the film; our movie and yours should be playing in synch.

Disclaimer: Nothing said in this Film Tweaker is known to be true. All names appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Season’s Greetings! There’s nobody home but us Tweakers for our annual holiday episode.
We gather around the fire and roast some old chestnuts: working dumb jobs to maintain balance in life, domesticity in the 1980’s, what constitutes winter fashion in Los Angeles, the fastest way to draw a side arm, the legal age for dating a father’s partner, and what’s the deal with black Stormtroopers? And seriously, do women wear négligées or not? Lethal Weapon was filmed in Los Angeles, not that it matters, and stars Danny Glover (Predator 2) Mel Gibson (Ransom).

Recommended snack accompaniment: frozen tarts.

To ensure your film is synched with this Tweak, please do the following:

1. Load your media into the player and play the film until you see a Warner Brothers title screen.
2. Hit pause as the Warner Brothers logo fades to a blank screen.
3. Start this Tweak and wait for us to say, ‘3..2..1..PLAY.’ When we say ‘play’, hit ‘play’ to continue the film; our movie and yours should be playing in synch.

You will have ample time to get in position during the several minutes of opening banter of the Tweak. If you are not set up by the time we are ready to start, simply pause the Tweak and get it together.

Disclaimer: Nothing said in this Film Tweaker is known to be true. All names appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Bundle up!  It’s cold outside as your Tweakers fly over the not-Coen-Brothers’ addition to the Multi-Twist fiasco genre, A Simple Plan (1998).  Tweaked topics include: Hollywood visions of suburban poverty, Lou Ferrigno fandom, diabolique savants, celebrity swinger marriages, and ‘acting dumb’ to get info and to get out of work/favors. A Simple Plan was not directed by the Coen Brothers and stars #BillPaxton, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Cheekly Ross, and Bill Lumbergh.

Recommended snack accompaniment: whatever the week’s coupons will allow.

To ensure your film is synched with this Tweak, please do the following:

1. Load your media into the player and play the film until you see the Paramount Logo.
2. Hit pause as the Paramount logo fades to a black/blank screen.
3. Start this Tweak and wait for us to say, ‘3..2..1..PLAY.’ When we say ‘play’, hit ‘play’ to continue the film; our movie and yours should be playing in synch.

You will have ample time to get in position during the several minutes of opening banter of the Tweak.  If you are not set up by the time we are ready to start, simply pause the Tweak and get it together.

Disclaimer: Nothing said in this Film Tweaker is known to be true. All names appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.