‘Done For You’ Dating Service Proves Romance Can Be Outsourced

A Canadian company has introduced a brazen service that lets singles delegate their online dating to a representative who exchanges messages under their name. Done For You Dating combines the extensive selection of singles on the Internet with the convenience of a personal matchmaker.

Toronto, Canada (PRWEB) July 1, 2009 -- A Canadian company has introduced a new service that lets singles delegate their online dating to a representative who manages their profile and exchanges messages under their name.

Done For You Dating combines the extensive selection of singles on the Internet with the convenience of a personal matchmaker. Unlike traditional matchmaking services, which match clients within an internal database, Done For You Dating scouts millions of single women and men on the Internet for their clients’ perfect partner.

“Online dating is like hunting for buried treasure,” says Luke Chao, founder of Done For You Dating. “The treasure is there, but it takes an incredible amount of digging through dirt before you find it. And most busy professionals don’t have that much time or emotional energy to spare.”

Dating representatives at the company are selected to be socially savvy, skilled writers who are knowledgeable about popular culture. They receive specific training in online dating and personal branding.

“We promote the client’s best qualities,” says Sue Bedford, a representative at Done For You Dating. “It’s already a borderline immoral service, so we go the extra mile to represent clients fairly, accurately and factually.”

Company founder Luke Chao is the managing director of The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis, where he first started helping men overcome problems interacting with women. He is the ghostwriter of several books, including Sydnee Steele’s Seducing Your Woman.

Downturn dating: Hearts flutter as markets stutter but it needn�t break bank

Ashley M. Heher

CHICAGO � Credit the recession for staycations and bringing us more game-night parties at home. But also give it a shout for spurring more first dates.

Economic woes, it seems, unleash something practically primal in many of us who find ourselves without a partner: a hard-wired desire for companionship.

Some singles are now hunting for dates with the same fervour others are showing hunting for jobs. On matchmaking website eHarmony.com, membership is up 20 per cent despite monthly fees of up to $60, and activity has soared 50 per cent since September at OkCupid.com.

It�s not just the frequency of our dates that�s changing � it�s also the people we�re choosing to spend time with.

�They�re looking for something that�s genuine in a world that isn�t very secure,� said Bathsheba Birman, co-founder of the Chicago dating event Nerds at Heart. �With headlines full of why you can�t trust established institutions that you thought you could ... people are re-examining their own values.�

Attendance at the monthly gatherings, where mostly young professionals pay $25 for a drink and a chance to spend the evening clustered around trivia and board games � was more than double expectations in April and has stayed high since.

�Misery loves company, especially if the prospect of romance and-or sex looms large,� said Craig Kinsley, a neurologist at the University of Richmond. �Really, dating, rather than being considered as expensive, can be a thrilling and inexpensive distraction. Like getting drunk without the wallet-hit or hangover.�

Kinsley said stomach-fluttering first dates also release brain chemicals that can temporarily erase worries, even about pensions, layoffs, falling portfolios and upside-down mortgages.

Still, Sam Yagan, the founder and CEO at OkCupid.com, sees the changing dating climate as a matter of dollars and cents.

The way he figures it, a man can spend $100 buying drinks at a bar trying to pick up a stranger and leave with little more than a cold shoulder. But, when he�s in a relationship, a Saturday evening can be as simple as Thai noodle takeout, Netflix and some fun under the covers. All in all, Yagan said, that�s �more bang for your buck.�

It�s more than just the recession. Experts say changes in behaviour can relate to other world events � with upticks when news is bad.

Last fall, comparing periods when the stock market fell more than 100 points and when it rose by the same amount, eHarmony found more members searched for matches when the financial news was grim. Activity also grew in the days after a tragedy like the Virginia Tech shooting, while it stayed the same during �good� global events, like the Olympics.

Unlike those one-day or weeklong events, the recession already has spanned more than 18 months, and its effects are expected to last just as long � and that likely will mean more discernible changes in human behaviour.

�It ends up being a reminder that you need to look for the important things in life,� said Gian Gonzaga, eHarmony�s senior research scientist. �It isn�t that surprising when you see people gravitating toward the most fundamental human relations.�

But the trend isn�t uniform.

Recessions can make some romances more challenging, experts say, especially for those who have already said �I do.� The stress that comes with fear, financial problems and economic uncertainty can drive a wedge between partners.

And the most committed bachelors aren�t developing a sudden hankering to buy princess-cut engagement rings.

Instead, the shifts are subtle: a devoted singleton going on more first dates; casual daters seeking long-term relationships; partners who might not have been attractive a while back � someone younger or older, someone who lives in a �geographically undesirable� area � looking much better.

At the Chicago wine bar In Fine Spirits, the changing dating culture has lead to a roughly 30 per cent increase in the number of parties of two, said general manager Brandon Wise.

�With such a tenuous climate right now, I think people are looking for stability in their partner,� he said. �I think it�s less haphazard dating and more pointed dating.�
A gentler tone is taking over, daters and observers say, with substance gaining over style.

For Mili Thomas, a 28-year-old graduate student in New York, that means she now spends time with men who didn�t show up on her radar screen before the recession.
Among them: a PhD who would have been nixed because he lives in New Jersey and an employee at a marketing firm who wouldn�t have made the grade because he is two years her junior.

�I figured this was the best possible time to explore other options since people�s lives have been turned topsy turvy,� she said. �I think everyone is more open to bucking convention given that �the usual� has gone out the window.�

Here’s one that appeared recently in The Guardian:

Finding love in later life

Reaching 60 certainly doesn’t mean we lose the twinkle in our eye. The media often presents a glamorous image of dating, full of whirlwind romances for twentysomethings or enviable hormone-crazed flings by the likes Carrie Bradshaw or a Desperate Housewife. As a sixty-something singleton, it’s easy to feel daunted by the dating scene.

Well, you’ll be relieved to know that the older generation is becoming a major part of it. Increasing divorce rates and the disparity in life expectancy for men and women have led to huge numbers of people facing retirement alone. According to eharmony.co.uk, 30% of men over 65 and a whopping 60% of women don’t live as part of a couple.

The internet dating industry is cottoning on to that fact. Match.com claims the baby boomer generation is its fastest-growing market.
Many niche websites have popped up, specifically targeting an older demographic. The Senior Dating Agency and Senior Dating Group are both free to join and are targeted at over-50s. Singlesover60.co.uk and Online Senior Dates focus on a slightly higher age bracket, with the majority of its members over 60. If you’re stumped on how to write a profile, browse others to gain a feel for how much you need to divulge.

If you’re still not convinced about releasing your details into the cyber abyss, then there’s Dateline Platinum - the equivalent of old-fashioned dating agencies. It offers a personalised introductory service and vets all its members in person.

Traditional courting, without the aid of a keyboard, isn’t dead either. A 35-year-old female friend recently complained her 65-year-old mother goes on more dates than she does - and none of them were organised through cyberspace.

The film industry has also seen an opportunity with the rise of the dating baby boomer. Last Chance Harvey hit cinema screens this month, prompting comment about the unusual choice of 40-plus characters in a love story.

Remember James and Peggy Mason? They are proof you certainly don’t have to be young to get married. They became Britain’s oldest newlyweds in 2007 after their eyes met across a crowded day centre in Devon.

Don’t panic, though; we’re not suggesting a date should lead to selling your home and rewriting your will. Casual companionship is perfectly acceptable. Pauline Stone (64), from Arundel in West Sussex, lost her husband from a heart attack four years ago.

“Being suddenly single made me feel young again. It wasn’t my choice to be on my own, of course, but when you’re thrown into it you either sit and vegetate or you get out. I joined a singles’ club for my area and have met lots of people.

“I’m not looking for someone to move in with, just someone to share a bit of fun and go to dinner. I miss having a person to make plans and go on holiday with.”

Most later-life single status is down to separation or bereavement, and the sentiments surrounding each are very different. The former brings a greater fear of rejection, and the latter can carry a huge sense of guilt. A small percentage of people have never settled down, and others may have an ailing spouse and be seeking a platonic friendship.

Whatever the reason, there’s a huge network of single sixty-, seventy- and eightysomethings who have not lost their lust for life or their desire to be loved. If you’ve found romance after 60, are still looking, or want to share your concerns about returning to dating, post your comments below.

Note too that the dating sites NEVER publish their member (paid and unpaid listers) and subscriber (paid only) numbers together.  The most recent figuring I did was several years ago when the two very different numbers from Match seemed to indicate something like 13:1 non-paid to paid members.

Now, I still thing that Match is the best all-around dating site, but this all-too-common practice of Match and other paid sites is long overdue for a change.  “Why don’t they answer my emails?” is THE most common complaint I hear from Internet daters.  And probably the most common reason for non-replies is that the lister is a freeloader and not a paid member.  It’s too bad that it make take legal action to get dating sites to stop this practice.  All it would take is some small indicator on each profile of the lister’s status.  I’d like to know.  Wouldn’t you?

See this article below for more details:

NY man sues dating website Match.com for deception
Tue Jun 9, 2009

* Suit says site causes “humiliation and disappointment”

* Match.com says suit lacks merit, will defend vigorously

NEW YORK, June 9 (Reuters) - A New York man sued dating website Match.com on Tuesday for misleading members by posting profiles of prospective dates who are unable to respond to any interest in them because they do not have a paid subscription.

Sean McGinn, of Brooklyn, who filed the lawsuit in New York federal court, accused Match.com of causing “humiliation and disappointment” for some members who feel rejected when their attempt to contact a prospective date gets no reply.

McGinn wants Match.com to stop “its deceptive practices” and demands unspecified damages.

People can create a Match.com profile for others to see and search the database of prospective dates for free, but to be able contact someone of interest or respond there are fees, ranging from $39.99 for one month to $19.99 a month for six months.

The lawsuit said that “despite the emotional vulnerability inherent in the dating process, fraught as it is with fear of rejection and anxiety, Match defrauds the consumer of his/her time, labor, and emotional investment” by not telling them that someone they are contacting does not have a subscription.

“Because the writer has no way of knowing this, he or she may experience profound personal anguish, suffering which is easily preventable by Match,” the lawsuit said.

Match.com, which is owned by Barry Diller’s Internet media company IAC/InterActiveCorp (IACI.O), is still reviewing the complaint, but said “we believe this lawsuit is without merit and we will defend it vigorously.”

“On any given day, upon information and belief, many thousands of members log into the Match site hoping to find someone special,” the lawsuit said. “At any given time, a significant percentage of the emails a member sends cannot be opened, read or responded to by the recipient.”

Match.com’s website it has had more than 100 million members since 2000, offers services in 24 countries and territories and hosts sites in 15 languages. (Reporting by Michelle Nichols; Editing by Eric Walsh)

Baccarosa is a sparkling pink wine from Italy (only sparkling wines from the Champagne regions of France can be called Champagne).  It is a lovely rose pink and smells like roses, too, as well as strawberries and raspberries.  According to our teacher, it would go great with dark chocolate.  One of my clients who writes romance novels would say that it would be great poured over naked skin, too.

Dating column readers reiterate: Date your age

By Steve Penner

I figured my last column would generate some interesting feedback.

In that column I advised middle-aged single and divorced men that they would be far more “marketable” to the opposite sex if they were willing to date women close to their own age.

To use a popular analogy (that I hope won’t be misinterpreted by anyone), the whole issue of older men wanting to date much younger women has been the proverbial “elephant in the room” for years. It is an issue that most people are aware of, but few people inside or outside of the media ever want to discuss honestly and frankly.

Here is some of the more interesting feedback that I received.

One local woman wrote “As a 50-year-old woman attempting to date, I truly appreciated your article in the Portsmouth Herald dated 3/13/09. I have noticed that many men my age say they want to date a woman who is closer to my daughter’s age, which I think is just icky. I cannot relate because I have no desire to date an immature, inexperienced young adult; I’m looking for someone who has been tested by life’s experiences and has come to know themselves. Thank you for telling middle age men that they should keep an open mind about age and dating because I know many fabulous women in their 50s who are emotionally stable, financially secure, intellectually stimulating, and looking for a guy their age to date.”

Another woman e-mailed “You did a very nice job with today’s column. I think the best thing about it was the way it reminded men that there are positive aspects to being open to dating women their age (or even older!), such as a larger dating pool, and finding someone with shared interests and life experiences. Thank you! I hope it generates some reflection and perhaps discussions in the coming days, and I suspect women in the Seacoast will copy the column and share it with men they know because there was no negativity or scolding… It was a great perspective on the issue.”

But the most intriguing and totally honest comment came from a man who wrote “I agree with your column completely today. It’s like everything else. There are tradeoffs. If a young woman is willing to settle for a much older man, it’s because she needs to, because she lacks something else that would enable her to snag a younger man. Maybe she is looking for financial security and that’s OK if you can afford her. We men are wired to seek young women of childbearing years who look healthy (symmetric). But do we really want more children when we are old men? I don’t! Once I started to date women my own age, a world of high quality women opened to me. Bright, charming, talented, and, yes, wealthy woman, who can pull their own weight. Now I attend parties with women who talk about their knee replacement surgery but they have so many other virtues that really count.”

Several other brief e-mails arrived from women applauding my thesis, and one man wrote to say “As someone who married an ‘older woman’...; there is a great deal of sense in your advice.”

But the question remains, are men really “wired to seek young women of childbearing years,” or are they merely conditioned by society to lust after younger women?

Obviously the answer is complex, and I would like to add another theory. Basically when it comes to important relationship and dating issues, men tend to mature much later than women. This is especially true among teenagers and young adults in their 20s and even 30s.

Therefore, starting in high school, girls prefer dating slightly older boys and vice versa. Consequently, a pattern is established (and later in life copied and perpetuated) of women wanting to date older men and men wanting to date younger women.

But by the time people reach middle age, most of us have finally achieved what I call “relationship maturity.” What do I mean by that term? Simply that people who have reached that level have finally learned what few young people know.

Simply, that the most important criteria in a relationship is NOT how tall a guy is or how cute a girl is, but rather how well a couple communicates with one another; how well a couple can mutually nurture one another; and how a couple can deal with the inevitable problems and pitfalls that life throws at everyone. These are the factors that are truly important in order to develop a meaningful relationship that one hopes will last for decades.

It is unfortunate that many people arrive at middle age still not having reached “relationship maturity.” It is even more unfortunate that a vast majority of such people happens to be men, which is why so many middle aged men are so gung-ho about wanting to date much younger women.

I further assert most such men are guys who have had limited relationship experience and who, in many ways, are as immature as they were 20 and even 30 years ago.

Show me a 50-year-old man who insists that he only wants to meet women in their 20s or 30s, and I will show you a guy whose chances of EVER developing a fulfilling long-term relationship are about as good as his chances of winning the lottery.

In other words, ladies, don’t even bother buying a ticket to meet him.

I’d add to Steve’s thoughts on why men (or women) would try to date someone years and years younger than themselves: They are being totally unrealistic.  They are agist.  They are not accepting of their own aging (no matter how “young” they feel they look and act).  No one has EVER told me that they are older looking and acting than their actual age.  Not since they were 13 anyway.  As Gloria Steinem said. “This is what sixty looks like.” I think it has to do with folks getting “stuck” on what people looked like the last time they were dating.  When they start again, they are attracted to men or women who look like the men or women they were attracted to years ago.  Plus they have not REALLY looked in the mirror themselves lately. 

I remember how startled I was to meet the new boyfriend of my 50ish friend to find him completely bald.  And to get a sober comeuppance from her, too, when we were together at a conference in Boston: It was snowy and icy and several times, handsome college guys helped us across the streets.  I loved the attention, but she simmered me down with “Don’t flatter yourself.  We are old enough to be their mothers.” Wham.

Go out and look around and find people your own age.  See what they look like.  That’s what you look like too.  That’s your market.  Get used to it.

The simplest way to raise your dating quotient The Truth About Dating

By Steve Penner

“How can I make myself more marketable to single women?” (Translation for regular readers of this column: “How can I raise my Dating Quotient?") That is a question (in one form or another) I am often asked by single or divorced men. Obviously, for many men the answer is quite complex.

But for men over 45 or so, there is one shortcut that will immediately and dramatically increase their DQ. So I am writing this column specifically for them. (If you are a woman, make a copy and send it to every single, divorced, or widowed man over 45 that you know.) OK guys, you don’t have to get a hair transplant, dye your goatee, develop abs of steel, or even insert lifts in your shoes. Nor do you have to develop a sparkling personality. (Just don’t come across as a totally self-centered jerk.) All you have to do is be yourself (unless you are a totally self-centered jerk) and do one teeny, tiny thing.

Just open yourself up to meeting women close to your own age. And if you really want to raise your DQ, be willing to date women a few years older than yourself!

I know, many of you would prefer meeting much younger women. After all, in every movie, television show, and commercial you see, the men are always considerably older than their wives and girlfriends. But those shows and movies are produced primarily by wealthy Hollywood moguls whose power, fame, and most of all, their pocketbook, are the prime reasons they attract much younger trophy wives.

The fact is that today’s 50-year-old single woman is not “your father’s 50-year-old woman.” To use another worn out expression “50 is the new 35.” Have you guys noticed what many 50-year-old women look like these days?

Improved diet and fitness workouts have kept them in much better shape than women of a similar age from previous generations. Many if not most of these women also have careers, which further motivate them to lead a healthy lifestyle and to look good in the work place.

Unfortunately though, when filling out your profiles at online or personal dating services, so many of you guys foolishly list a “strong preference” for meeting women 10-20 years younger than yourselves. Then you wonder why you have little success.

Moreover, if you are a 50-year-old man who wants to meet a woman 25-39, please keep in mind that not too many 25-39 year-old women will say they want to meet you! Also please understand that by doing so, you are placing yourself in direct competition with much younger men.

To be honest, I realize that so much of what I have written sounds silly, even to me. Age is only a number, and I don’t want to hear excuses like “I am such a youthful 50, I can’t imagine going out with a woman my own age.” Interestingly, I hear those exact same claims from women.

Everyone these days looks, acts, and feels young for their age, but that is because we are comparing ourselves to our parents’ generation. That was a generation that, for the most part, was unaware of (or ignored) the health risks and appearance consequences associated with cigarette smoking and excessive sun worship (both of which produce premature signs of aging). Moreover, fitness clubs were few and far between, as were home gyms. Let’s face it, except for golf and bowling, most of our parents lived a sedentary lifestyle, while puffing away on their Kents, Lucky Strikes or Winstons. And of course active women were encouraged to smoke Virginia Slims.

Today, I implore single middle-aged men to try the following. The next time you complete a dating service profile, list a desired age range that is plus or minus five years of your own. That’s right, state that you are willing to meet women who are (gasp) older than you. Come on; give it a shot. You might be surprised at the quality (and quantity) of the pool of women who will suddenly become available to you.

But then be very strict about every other criterion. If you work out almost daily, state you only want to meet women who do the same. If you ski every weekend in the winter or you are an avid hiker, golfer or tennis player, state that you only want to meet women who are avid outdoors enthusiasts. If you are a Fred Astaire on the dance floor, state very clearly that you must meet a Ginger Rogers. If being youthful to you means that you are open-minded, liberal and love to “rock ‘n’ roll,” then just say you only want to meet women who at least have heard of Woodstock.

I recently received an e-mail from a woman who wrote “I ...; wonder if you could address a topic of dating discrimination that is so obvious and widespread that it affects most of the women I know, yet hasn’t made it into your column nearly as much as your pet peeve of women who shun short men. The discrimination I would like you to discuss is men who refuse to date women their own age.” She went on to say “So, please, I’d love to see this issue in a column of yours. Being shunned for age is as unfair as being shunned for height, both of which are factors beyond one’s control.” I couldn’t agree with her more. Besides guys, if you really are into rock ‘n’ roll, why would you want to meet a much younger woman who thinks The Who is just a strangely worded pronoun?

Well, first off, you probably will never really know why, because part of the nature of online dating is that you don�t know this other person and probably will never run into them in real life so that you can ask.  And if they refuse to reconnect via email, phone or otherwise, you are left with your �Why?  What happened???� And the natural next question is �What did I do wrong?�

Most likely, you did nothing wrong.  Or nothing so grievous to deserve a silent cutoff.

Here are possible explanations: 

1.  He got hit by a bus.  His computer died right after he sent you the last email.  He lost your phone number.  He has been abducted by aliens.  Or worse. 
Unlikely, but possible. 

2.  He decided he is not interested in pursuing contact and is too rude or unskilled or scared to tell you directly.  Email and anonymity make silence a perfect solution.
More likely and quite possible.  Don�t let �I was too busy with work� excuse this kind of behavior.  It takes practically no time at all to zip off an email or speed dial your cell phone.

3.  He got scared.  Yeah, scared.  Grown ups get scared about developing relationships, even when they are lonely and want one.  At each point that a budding relationship takes a baby step towards more closeness (like moving towards a first meeting, deciding on date #2, going public by meeting family and friends), fear can get stirred up and bad behavior result. 

Most likely, and usually the reason behind deciding not to pursue contact, too.

Now, both men and women have fears about getting closer, but men seem most prone to silence and the disappearing act.  Here�s why:

1.  Disappearing is easy.  You just do nothing, and probably you will never get directly confronted.

2.  You don�t have to give bad news and face the upset of the other person � ie crying.

3.  You also don�t have to confront yourself about the implications of your callous behavior.

Guys, correct me if I am wrong about this, and/or tell my about your experiences with disappearing ladies.  I�m willing to learn!

Anyway, I had exactly this kind of issue come up with one of my clients recently.  Lisa is a lovely lady, just over 60, very pretty and looks much younger.  She had been emailing nicely with a gentleman named George and they were starting to plan their first meeting.  Then�nothing.  This was not the first time this had happened to Lisa, and she was dumbfounded about what was going on.  Why would someone just �drop out of sight�?

I explained the �Hit by a bus, he�s decided �no, thanks,� or he�s scared.� Lisa was incredulous.  �Why would he be scared? I�ve done nothing to scare him.� Of course, we couldn�t know precisely, but getting closer risks potential loss, maybe being �found out� as not being as presented, old pains getting reactivated. 

Here�s what Lisa (who as she says, has a hard time giving up) did � and this was all on her own, without my prompting � she emailed George the following:

George,

Is this the point when someone gets scared .. and thinks

(Multiple Choice)

a- she may be the size of a tent and not look like her pictures at all

b- she may want to get me drunk and take advantage of me

c- she might expect me to give up my freedom and see her
constantly and never have a free moment again (even though
she lives 3 hrs away)

d- she may throw away my remote control

e- she may be the mean step-mother type

f- what if she has a social disease

g-what if she is after my money

h- maybe she shops til she drops and brings in bills instead
of money
i- Other


George�s email reply:

I guess I must plead guilty to not getting back to you...I work a lot....sometimes too much....and I tend to slip away from things that are out of my comfort zone...like “dating”..LOL!
I have come close to the number of “dates” where one questions his choices or his dating skills..I think I am bad at both.

NO....I’m not afraid if you don’t look like your photos....I’m used to it…
it would be nice to find someone who is MORE interested in What you are about..more than what you have in life.
I’m a little burned out and dissapointed in people ,"our" group...who just Don’t get it.

So take my remote..there’s nothing on that I haven’t seen before.
LOL!!

Stay warm
George

Bingo.  I was right.  George was scared.  Even this note showed it � though he had the guts to write back (Lisa had done a fabulous job with her light, humorous, yet to-the-point email), George did not clearly indicate a �yes� or �no� to further contact.  So Lisa hits the keyboard again:

George,

Thanks so much for the great and honest answer and for not taking the easy way
out by fading into the woodwork and disappearing.
This means you have character. :-) big points
I have experienced the dating disappointments and the people who
just “don’t get it”. I have questioned what this dating thing is all
about and how people can be so “reckless” when we are all putting
our heart and ego out there. But, I’m not good at giving up and
I hope you aren’t either. Plus, you have the sense of humor to
keep this in perspective.

What can I do to make you feel more comfortable? First, I do
come with references. LOL and I promise not to steal the remote.
I won’t even ask where you live nor become a stalker. LOL
Second, you pick the place and timeframe
that makes it easy… 10 min at the local 7/11??
enough time to eat a great burger?? one drink and one
dance at the local casual bar (lesson free) Timer and batteries
included.

Besides, if you didn’t meet me, wouldn’t you wonder? Did I miss
meeting somebody who DOES get it? and is as nice as she says
she is? How can someone who adores a true Irish twinkle be so
bad? Wow, and she knows how to dance (even lead if necessary)?

Lisa

Isn�t Lisa something?  She is handling this situation PERFECTLY, and subsequent emails indicate that George is gingerly taking his fear in hand.  They are talking about meeting again. 

Here�s the lesson:

Singles pursuing love get scared easily.  Expect that fear will crop up, especially when the budding relationship gets ready to take a step forward.

Acknowledge fear (maybe expressed through silence), treat it gently and with humor.  You don�t want to stir up still more fear.

Be persistent, though do not become a stalker.  If someone tells you a clear �No,� then respect it.

The fly, clock, and parking spaces are all examples of the new trendy trend �nudging.� A nudge is a gentle push, or when used as a verb: To push against gently, especially in order to gain attention or give a signal.  Nudging is the hottest thing in getting people to make the right choices.
Some bright dude figured out if guys had a target to aim at in a urinal, �spillage� was reduced significantly.  Ergo: The fly.  A nudge towards aiming better.  Take a look.

The clock actually does jump off onto the floor when the alarm goes off, and then proceeds to dash around madly until you get up, chase it, and turn it off.  By then you are up.  Might as well stay that way.

Parking spaces in downtown Florence, Italy, are the size of Smart cars, so no big vehicles can park there.  Ergo: a nudge towards buying Smart cars.

Getting and keeping moving towards finding love can be terribly difficult for singles.  Even if you are lonely and miserable, the anxiety of going out and looking for love can keep you stuck in singleness forever.  Jumping in the seemingly icy water of dating, Internet or otherwise, can be too much of a shock to contemplate. 

So how can you use the concept of nudging to get you and keep you moving in a direction that is likely to find you love? 

I use the �slice and dice� method all the time, both with myself and with my clients.  �Slice and dice� is chopping up a task into smaller and smaller bits until you can actually do one of the bits � and then another � without distress.  Nudging is similar.

What can you do to give yourself a little push in the right direction?  Not a big push that would scare you and stop you in your tracks, but just a little push that gets you moving.

Here�s a fabulous gadget, another alarm clock configuration, that would get me moving for sure: the SnuzNLuz Wifi Donation Alarm Clock.  You�ve GOT to take a look: http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/snuznluz.shtml You can set the SnuzNLuz to donate to your least favorite charity or organization automatically unless you turn it off beforehand! 

Now, we are talking about getting you moving to find love, not waking up in the morning, so how could this alarm clock help?  How about if you made a deal with yourself to do something, anything!  Or take a particular step each day towards finding love?  If you HADN�T done anything that day by 9pm, let�s say, the clock would automatically make your donation.

You set up a similar system without the clock:  Write a series of checks to your least favorite organization in an amount that is significant to you, place each one in an addressed envelope, line them up on your desk, and put one in the mail every day you do nothing to find love.