Finding Forrest

From Torment of Memory to Silent Joy

2014-07-20T22:45:00.003-05:00

“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain."
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I'm sure those of you who knew her well can understand how even a decade later, her death leaves an emptiness that can't be replaced. It has been an endurance on many occasions without her counsel, but ultimately I'm grateful because I had the privilege of calling her mom. If you knew her, close your eyes and listen to her laugh and let that be your hidden treasure today.

Something to be learned

2014-04-16T08:05:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if my children are picking up on the things I want them to learn.

I recall as a child sitting in music classes where the teacher would play various arrangements of classical music. We were asked to close our eyes and reflect on the piece. We were to describe the story that is being told with the music. Based on the rhythm and sounds of certain instruments we were suppose to describe how we felt. We were told to make a connection with the music.

As a child I didn't get it but, as an adult I've learned to use classical music as a release for hard days. The music very much describes how I might feel and where I want my emotions to rest. I allow the music to retell my story and eventually it leads to relaxation.

I didn't learn this as a child, but as a child I learned there was something to be learned by listening to classical music.

To teach our children that there is something to be learned, whether they learn it or not, is a gift.

Reflection on Frustration and Fear

2014-03-10T08:21:00.001-05:00

My little girl is a monkey. She's currently 4 and loves climbing trees. Now that Spring is beginning to make an appearance she is always looking for the next tree to conquer. As she climbs 5 times her own height, you can tell she has no time for fear. She only entertains her frustration in not being able to go higher. One evening as we were leaving to go visit with some friends, she said to me "When we get to their house, I'm going to climb their trees."

Even the few times she came close to falling, fear had an open door but frustration kept it out. Frustrations keep her looking ahead for other options, whether it's a different way up the tree or a whole new tree.

Both fear and frustration can be motivators, but which one we listen to can make the differences in the heights of our climbs. Listening to fear could save our life, but it could also keep us from really living. Fear can prevent us from trying the one solution that might work. Frustration on the other hand leads to doubt or even the fear of failure. It will go 12 rounds with us or until we throw in the towel.

Frustration wins when we quit. Fear wins when we don't try.

Home

2014-03-05T21:20:00.000-06:00

Whether I have been gone for a day or a week, home is an anchor. It's where I naturally return physically and mentally. It is where I am most inclined to recenter my thoughts and actions so that I can establish my footing for the next climb. Regardless of what true north is, home is always where the journey begins and where the journey longs to end.

Staying connected is smarter than Obamacare?

2013-12-05T08:56:00.000-06:00

From Venture Beat, I just read the following. I've tried to hold my tongue on Obamacare, but I have to get this off my chest.

...the President tried to point out that many of the young people in attendance spend over $100 per month collectively on Internet service plans from telecom companies and broadband Internet subscriptions because staying connected is important and smart. He then reasoned that under the new Affordable Care Act (ACA) they could also get health insurance coverage for roughly the same cost as a modestly priced iPhone monthly service plan.

When the president invites "young people" to the white house and tells them this kind of stuff, it's insulting to me. For a "young person" this has always been true even before ACA.

Since the day I graduated from college, I have paid for my own health insurance. I had a health plan BEFORE I had a smart phone, BEFORE I was married, BEFORE I had kids, and if it came down to deciding between health insurance or a phone, I would have gone with health insurance. It was affordable then and it was affordable now (until ACA doubled my monthly rate). It was affordable because I made it a priority.

Young people, the President thinks you are stupid and incompetent if you can't figure it out on your own. You could have gotten an affordable plan before Obama came along. He did not create ACA for you, so don't let him make you think he did. He wants you to sign up for it, so you can help pay for other people's healthcare, because in all seriousness, most of you will need healthcare about as much as you need your phone. I'm not advocating you don't get health insurance, but as young and healthy as most of you are, most of you won't end up using it's full benefit anyway.

I'm not saying the system was perfect, but the current solution is a lazy one and it still won't be perfect either. I didn't excel in school and I figured out how to make it work. You can [could have] too!

So young people, when you get in a bind and need to call me from your iPhone to come get you out of the hospital, just remember that you can't, because I might have just dumped my cell phone coverage in order to pay for your health insurance.

You are welcome.

Reflection on Christian Music

2013-11-21T16:05:00.002-06:00

Some may say the sound and rhythm of today's contemporary Christian music is relevant to today's culture, but I'll take George Matheson from 1882 any day.

A Smell of Simplicity

2013-10-08T11:02:00.000-05:00

As I child I spent a lot of time at my Granny's. She lived in an old farm house and still raised chickens and had a few horses. When I would visit her house, time seemed to stand still. For a kid who thrived on sports, games, and competition, I had a tough time acclimating to the quietness of her farm.

She kept a lot of plants around and the garden was always plentiful. We spent a lot of our time doing crafts, which decorated her house. We made baskets, painted pottery, and even worked on quilts from time to time. We'd collect eggs from the chicken house and hitch the horses to the wagon for a trip down the long dusty dirt road.

It wasn't so grand to a 10 year old boy, but to that boy who is now in his 30's it's a simplicity and peacefulness that is often hard to come by.

Recently, a gentleman left our company who worked in a nearby office. One day I stepped inside this now vacant office to take a phone call when I saw a withering plant hiding in a dark corner. For some reason I decided to adopt the plant since it was obvious no one was taking care of it anymore. I gave it some water and brought it out to my work area which sits next to a window.

Over the weekend my plant began to perk up but there was still a lot of pruning that needed to be done. The poor thing still looks ragged, but is now green.

This morning, when I picked up all of the leaves that had been shed, I turned around and caught a whiff of my hands as I rubbed my face. The smell took me back to being a 10 year old on Granny's farm. The simple smell of this plant caused me to freeze in the moment and reflect on how happiness is so easily overlooked.

This plant gives me a reason to smile today. I'm thankful it's no longer being overlooked in a dark corner of an empty office.

First Rule of St. Benedict

2013-09-24T22:18:00.001-05:00

A contemporary interpretation on the first rule of St. Benedict.

"live this life
and do whatever is done,
in a spirit of Thanksgiving.

Abandon attempts to achieve security,
they are futile,

give up the search for wealth,
it is demeaning,

quit the search for salvation,
it is selfish,

and come to comfortable rest
in the cetainty that those who
participate in this life
with an attitude of Thanksgiving
will receive its full promise."

From Always We Begin Again: The Benedictine Way of Living by John McQuiston II

Tim Newton Stories

2013-08-10T15:29:00.002-05:00

I work with a guy who is extremely talented at illustrations. I have seen him freehand some incredible pictures that will take your imagination on a trip it won't forget. Watching him at his craft is like getting caught hooked on an old episode of Bob Ross painting happy little trees - only this guy is way cooler. Nothing he does is short of awesome.

Then, to make things even cooler, I recently learned that he is also good at telling stories. Whether it's to a group of friends or to his son at bed time, he always has something good to share. As a father, he wants to share important Christian values to his son and has done that through his illustrations and story telling.

Now, Tim Newton is passing those values along to the rest of us. Recently, he self-published his first book The Gift of Ferdinand Frog, a story that teaches kids to embrace their differences and work together to "accomplish big things." It's a great little story that rolls off the tongue. My kids love the illustrations and have laughed again and again at the story, while easily picking up on the moral.

Tim is living in Franklin, Tennessee, and is working on bringing us more stories. His personal story is one worth knowing and it's one you can be a part of by buying his books. His work is the kind of thing that when you see it, you know he's going to accomplish big things himself.

I hope you'll buy a copy (or several as gifts) and become a part of Tim Newton's Stories yourself. You won't be disappointed - neither will your kids.

Go check it out - www.TimNewtonStories.com

Worship as an Intovert

2013-08-07T09:23:00.001-05:00

After reading Susan Cain's book Quiet, I began to better understand why worship services in large churches are extremely difficult for me and the introvert.

Worship is often (not always) measured by the extroverted response of participants. For some to imply that your physical response is an indicator to your level of passion and love for God is to impose a degree of mental persecution on those who also love God and would prefer to worship in quiet.

A path to humility

2013-08-05T13:26:00.002-05:00

As I listened to a man tell his story recently, it caught me off guard as he described his lack of humility. Though our stories are vastly different, I didn't take me long to connect to his because the way he described scenes of arrogance in his life, I felt like he was describing me. They weren't scenes of flashiness, but quiet, subtle scenes that can rob you of happiness.

He recalled others telling him that the path to humility is through gratitude. So, every morning he spends time making a list of things for which he is grateful. I'm not sure if gratitude is something that wasn't naturally a part of my personality or if it is a discipline I practiced poorly. Nonetheless, I see how the path for this man changed through expressing gratitude. Humility can be happy place and I want to get there.

Honesty is trust

2013-08-04T11:13:00.001-05:00

Honesty is the absence of any attempt to intentionally deceive. Honesty is influenced by the level of trust in a relationship. Honesty that is lost will not return overnight, it returns one day at a time.

Being Right

2013-08-02T07:37:00.001-05:00

Sometimes it's less costly to quietly fix areas where people are wrong, rather than proving to them you were right to begin with.

Symptomatic Cynicism

2013-07-31T12:22:00.000-05:00

Cynicism shouldn't be a diagnosis for someone when it's quite possible that it's just a symptom of a larger diagnosis waiting to be discovered.

Choral Arrangements

2013-07-23T20:42:00.001-05:00

There's something about listening to choral arrangements that bring me peace.

I listen, hoping that God will speak as plainly as the voices singing.

I listen, feeling that I could fly and be free from any burden I might be carrying.

I listen, being reminded of days from my past which provide confidence for tomorrow.

I listen, impressed by the number of voices that come together to provide such a rich sound and wondering what it must be like to be a part of such an impressive sound.

I listen, imagining the remarkable architecture that might cover and echo the singers' voices.

I listen, trying to organize within my mind the inspiration and ideas that somehow surface through the creativity of the music.

I listen, resting from a day well spent or from a day hard fought.

I listen because what is beautiful should be heard.

A view of church

2013-07-22T21:42:00.001-05:00

If the argument for expanding women's role within churches, along with accepting sexual preferences and other key issues often debated today, is simply based on traditional and cultural values we have continued to embrace since the early church days, how can those who suggest changes in our churches today based on that view, not also argue that "church," in a predominantly Christian nation isn't really necessary and is only a traditional and cultural activity?

Disclaimer: It would be unwise to draw any conclusions about me or my family's beliefs based on asking this question.

Feeling good about work

2013-06-26T07:50:00.001-05:00

Dan Ariely shared a Tedx talk about motivation. It's conclusion is similar to Dan Pink, but Ariely uses some different examples and makes some additional points.

The World is Good

2013-05-01T15:57:00.000-05:00

The world is a good place because we make it a good place.

Start by Jon Acuff

2013-04-22T08:26:00.000-05:00

Remember that guy who writes Stuff Christians Like? He's the same guy that wrote a book called Quitter: Closing the Gap Between Your Day Job & Your Dream Job. Now he he has another book. Instead of quitting, it's time to Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work that Matters.

Jon Acuff asked me to make this post and I am happy to do so because he's a talented guy with a lot of good things to say. However, he's more than talk. I watched him do everything he teaches in these books over the last few years. If you will read what he has to say and work as hard as he has, you'll make things happen too.

To get started, you need to buy the book, then read it. If you still need convincing, here's a video of Jon Acuff telling you more about the book.

Second Person Confessions

2013-03-14T08:57:00.004-05:00

Some of my posts address me in first person. Other posts address you, in second person. I'm not sure if this is intentional, but as I look back on past posts I recognize that those written toward second person might indicate need for confession. Where I speak to second person, I should be speaking to first person.

First Person example - Fear what is greatest
Second Person example - Gossip in the gap

I'm not sure what posts directed to third person indicates.

Fear what is greatest

2013-03-13T09:09:00.001-05:00

Fear is relative. I can choose to be afraid of things that are not actually a threat. I am responsible for much of my own worry and anxiety.

However, when I choose to worry about something that is an even greater threat, I become less concerned with what I once feared. Over time, I learn to fear new things and each time the fear is from a greater threat.

I must eventually get to a point where my choice is to fear God or fear man and the things associated with a fallen world. My fear of God is a measure of my belief in him.

So, to fear God is to have hope. To fear there is no God, is to live in bondage.

Gossip in the gap

2013-02-13T14:56:00.000-06:00

A lot of the gossip that starts about you starts because you started it. It started because you didn't tell a good story in the first place. Maybe there's no back story, no emotion, no purpose, no conflict and resolution. Maybe you just told the ending without the beginning. Maybe there are no relationships in your story.

Fewer gaps in the story will make you a better leader. If you leave too many gaps in your communication, others will rob you of your influence by filling in those gaps for you.

Gossip is usually the fastest way people fill in the gaps. It's done by drawing conclusions from connecting unrelated things based on limited information from recent events and plugging them into the story you started.

If you don't want people to rewrite your story or squelch your influence, learn to tell a better story by closing the gaps in your communication. Don't blame others for gossiping about you. It's partly your fault.

Toy Relocation Device

2013-02-11T16:32:00.001-06:00

I just created a device that you can place on a child's toy that will relocate the toy back to its proper place when a child attempts to take the toy out of the room the toy belongs in.

Here is how it works.

When a child picks up, say, a toy car from his play room and runs out of his room with it, the car disappears from his hand as soon as he crosses the thresh hold of the room. The toy car then magically reappears in the toy car bin.

That's right. It's super expensive. You could never afford it.

So, I won't tell you how much it costs.

Conversation Cafe

2013-02-08T12:38:00.001-06:00

There's a little cafe where the food is inexpensive and very tasty. Only this cafe is different than most restaurants. Not only do you not get to decide where to sit the host seats you with someone you don't know. If you go there with another person you will not be seated with the person or persons you came with. Instead you'll be seated with a stranger or group of strangers.

Each table has a list of questions you can ask the others. Once you find common ground you can explore where the conversation will take you.

Most people are uncomfortable at first but when they start to learn about each other's stories based on the questions they leave thinking about how much they would have missed out on if they had gone to the diner next door and sat alone at the bar.

I won't tell you where this cafe is because odds are you wouldn't go if you knew where it was. You'd likely stay away if given the choice.

So whether you would choose to go to this cafe or not, there's still another question.

Who's story are you choosing not hear?

Drawing #2: Bear

2013-02-05T12:28:00.000-06:00