THE FRUITS OF MY LABOR

ADVENTURES IN HOMESCHOOLING

2015-07-21T22:25:00.001-07:00

It took me about two weeks to get over not going to BASIS. I think I took the BASIS disappointment so hard because I believed it was his ticket to success. I had his ticket and all I had to do was get him on the train and he would become successful. It was like a stab in my heart to tear that ticket up. I wanted it so bad. I cursed and I cried but the reality was what it was and I had to move on.

I then looked at my options and I was scared. This precious time in his life is critical. He is like a brand new plant. I feel he needs to be protected a bit in this early stage. I couldn’t, just couldn’t put him through the public school system and believe he would turn out all right. They wanted to put him in a locked room with children who were lower functioning for up to four hours per day. I say, over my dead body.

I could either send him to school or I could keep him home. I talked to several Moms who homeschool and I felt inside that might ultimately be the best choice for Ian. I was scared out of my mind. Homeschool? I can’t even remember to get the chores I have done on time, what am I thinking trying to play school all day? How would everything get done? What if I can’t teach?

I have been doing it for a little over a week and I have had some ups and downs. For one, there will be no singing. Yep, won’t make that mistake again. It took me over an hour to get Ian back interested in school. Meltdown city. My heart broke as I asked him if it reminded him of his other school. He doesn’t like to answer those pointed questions. I’ll never know the extent of the emotional pain he suffered.

I have such an amazing support system and I am getting more and more into the swing of things as each day passes. I stay up later at night now trying to get all my home duties done, but it is worth it. I feel like a better mom, one that is more in touch with her children instead of just watching them play while I work. I think Ian really likes spending this special time with me.

What do I do with Patrick? He is enjoying sitting at the table and playing with his toys while Ian and I work. In the afternoons we do more when Patrick is sleeping. It’s working out pretty nice. On Monday I taught Ian how to tell time (only the hours right now). I felt so happy at that moment. He picked it up so fast that he started teaching me how to tell time. I love that little man. He wears my heart.

FACING A NEW CHALLENGE

2015-06-30T22:58:00.000-07:00

When Ian was three-years-old he went to the public preschool down the road. It was so scary seeing his little body ride away in that big school bus. I waved everyday but received only a stare back. Almost like he wondered what was wrong with me. He had been attending school for about six months when he was diagnosed with autism. The next day was very hard for me. I struggled with the worry of what was to become of him. I wondered if I had the ability to help him in the ways he needed to be helped.

I stood there fighting back tears as I watched the bus roll away. I weakly put up my hand to wave goodbye when I saw it. He waved back. Tears flooded my face as I wildly waved in return. I waved until I couldn’t see the bus anymore. I put my hand down and I smiled. It was his way of telling me that all was going to be okay. He would get it, maybe not as fast as everyone else, but he would get it. From that moment on we waved every day like crazed maniacs. That made me so happy.

Two weeks ago we took him for an evaluation at Blossom Park, a Precision Teaching learning center in Goodyear, AZ. I spoke candidly with Nicky Carter and she advised me that Ian lacked some critical basic skills and he needed therapy in order to be able to succeed in a traditional classroom setting. We could try enrolling him but she suspected he would be disruptive and potentially be asked to leave. I couldn’t have this happen. So today we opted to not attend Kindergarten and instead get the therapy he needs to be successful. It was a bittersweet decision.

Tonight our lives went on as usual and this evening found us in his room trying to pick up toys. Ian has always had a problem in this area. Ian would try and try to put his toys away but he always become distracted and ended up playing with his toys instead. For over two years I have argued, screamed, begged, threatened, and bartered my way through the process of picking up toys each and every night. Typically the night ends with the parents picking up most of his toys.

Tonight I had to leave the room to tend to his younger brother Patrick and asked Ian to finish putting up his toys. It was getting late and both boys were tired. As I was putting on Patrick’s night shirt I heard the familiar sound of train tracks hitting the sides of the plastic bin. I stopped and I smiled. He did it for me again. Right when I needed that sign that we were on the right track and all would be well, he put away his toys all by himself. He will get it, maybe not as fast as everyone else, but he will get it.

BACK ON THE WORKOUT WAGON

2015-04-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

I can’t believe it has been four years since Jason and I did our Body for Life Challenge. That was so amazing for us but sadly we stopped exercising later that year and only now am I beginning to get started on a regular workout regime. Jason has been back on the wagon for over 3 months and has been patiently waiting for me to get it in gear. I needed something to motivate me. Unfortunately nothing came and I had to dig way deep and start the gears going myself.

It did help that I have been reading The pH Miracle by Robert O. Young, PhD. It basically says that everything that is wrong with you is due to a pH imbalance in your system. I didn’t really think much of it so I happen to have some pH sticks laying around and I used them one morning. I was shocked. My pH was in the 5.3 range and that was incredibly acidic (optimal pH is 7.2).

It made sense that an acidic system breaks down faster and harbors disease and illness. This can be proven in a simple fish tank. Let the pH get out of whack and you will have some dead fish on your hands. Looking at the stick turned yellow caused me to think. Do I want to age fast or slow? I am voting for slow. This would take some work on my part since I love food!

Over the next week I am going to slowly prepare myself for the whole body cleanse. In the book it is suggested to take 12 weeks to slowly transition into the pH diet lifestyle. Thankfully I have already made my way through much of the 12-step transition period naturally over the past six months. I have replaced breakfast with a smoothie, I eat more raw food, dairy is nearly completely out of my diet (a little bit of cream in my coffee) but that will have to go with the diet anyway because coffee is super acidic.

Yeast is next and we haven’t eaten bread in a long time. I am guilty with the white flour and white rice but that is an easy fix as we only recently added those back into our diet. The last three are remove added sugar, fruits, and condiments from my diet. I have to say that these are already nearly done. I hardly cook with sugar and we substitute prunes and dates for sugar in a lot of my cooking. The fruits are mostly for my boys as are the condiments. The only thing I see as a challenge is the removal of meat because I love me some meat! I think I am ready to start the real thing!

Once I started really considering a drastic diet change I did become interested in working out too. Course, it is not a good idea to go crazy on a diet and tax your body with a strenuous workout program. I am taking it super easy. Tonight I only did one set of all my exercises and at most used 5 pound hand weights. I will get more in detail as the time progresses but I am excited about getting healthy! I can’t wait to see what I look like in three months!

Back to Writing

2015-01-04T21:04:00.000-07:00

Hello old friend! I look back at the last post and I am reminded of the time that has passed and how much has changed. When I last posted I didn’t know but my life was about the drastically change. I entered a time of nonstop cooking and unbelievable stress. To begin with the camel milk didn’t work and I wasn’t able to give Patrick any milk until he was about 14 or 15 months old. Even then it had to be goat’s milk and in small quantities.

Around this time I began experimenting with stock. I was reading how good it was for the body – especially bone stock. I went out and found some bones for sale at the Farmer’s Market and boiled those with an onion, a few carrots, and some garlic. I strained it and put it in the Vitamix to puree. When I was done it was as white as milk. I added fresh goat milk yogurt and made his bottle with both.

We ran out of yogurt after a few days and I switched back to Elecare. By the end of the day he started vomiting and having diarrhea. It was now the weekend and I had to wait until Monday to get into the doctor. It wasn’t until I was talking to the doctor at that appointment that I realized the correlation between started Elecare back up and the vomiting and Diarrhea.

I immediately went home and stopped the Elecare and gave him only stock as that was all I had. Within two hours the continuous diarrhea and vomiting stopped. I was shocked. Filled with fear, I threw away the last container of Elecare and began my walk into the unknown. I had never felt as completely alone as I did at that moment.

What would I feed him? Would I be able to get him enough nutrients? I called his gastroenterologist and he did some research while I was on the phone with him. He gave me some tips on the types of food to eat. I asked him how long Patrick could eat stock and he said indefinitely. I hung up feeling more grounded but still unsure. I began to pray. I prayed for guidance to make all the right decisions in order to give Patrick the care he needed.

I remember distinctly that day arriving at the supermarket. I stood in the middle of the produce section and said, “God, what should I buy?” Within a few moments I settled on kale, spinach, carrots, onions, and garlic. I started to feed him only one at a time for a couple of days. I started with carrots and I poor kid wore that orange shade for what seemed like months after that.

A few days later I then added kale and so on until I finished adding all those ingredients in. I would cook them really good, for maybe 20 minutes and then I would puree it in the Vitamix and then strain it. I then would put into individual containers (1 cup canning jars) and have that for the whole next day. He ate one cup every hour or so.

After a couple of weeks I was able to slowly add in gelatin from the beef bones and the marrow meat. He couldn’t eat it at first but after many weeks he had no problems. Everything was trial and error. I realized if I didn’t have enough fat in the broth, Patrick wouldn’t eat it. One time I saved an entire broth batch by adding in fat from the butcher shop. It took about 8 hours to melt into it but afterwards Patrick ate it.

It seemed all I did was cook and clean for months. I got really good at making broth but by 12 months I began to worry. He still wasn’t able to eat any solids. His height and weight was doing fantastic and he measured in the 20^th percentile for his age. This was phenomenal considering he was barely in the 1% when we started the broth regime.

I attended a group at church and I asked the ladies to pray for Patrick before we said the rosary. I was nearly in tears when I begged them to pray that Patrick be able to eat solid food. That was a Friday. Now, I must add that during this time of cooking I wasn’t able to clean the rest of the house; things were pretty dirty. I am ashamed to admit my floors had lots of crumbs and various unknown objects all over the floor.

Patrick was crawling around and starting that following Monday he began putting those things in his mouth. I was horrified. Not only was the floor dirty and he was crawling on in with his hands and knees, but now he was putting no-telling-how-old food in his mouth! Thankfully he would immediately begin retching and I would run all over looking for him thinking he was choking.

By Thursday, I started to find objects in his mouth and he had stopped retching. Slowly after this I was able to feed him small amounts of food without him projectile vomiting. That was a year ago and we are 100%. I feel we were given a miracle. He is still small, back to the 1% in height but 20% in weight. He is smart, active, and very much like a two-year-old in temperament.

I read stories about children with feeding tubes and I realize how fortunate we were not to have to face that traumatic decision. Nothing prepares you for a really sick child. Afterwards you are definitely never the same.

Me and My Camel Milk

2013-07-23T21:21:00.003-07:00

I ran across something very interesting today: Camel Milk. Yes, I am talking milk from a camel and drinking it. What stood out to me like a red blinking neon sign were the words, “Camel´s milk cures severe food allergies and rehabilitates the immune system in children.” HELLO! Put me in line for that stuff! Let you know what I find out on this one. But in the meantime, check out this website: http://www.camelmilkassociation.org/index.php/camel-milk-did-you-know

I am also looking into the GAPS Diet. Honestly, my brain hurts from reading and thinking too much. And when I say diet folks, I mean the whole family does it. This should be fun. I don’t know much about the diet but I know it has to do with taking out all grains and dairy (no biggie), taking probiotics, and eating fermented foods.

What I do know about this is it helps people like me and my family. Frankly, I am game for anything if it makes us feel better. I never want my kids to go through the pain and agony Jason and I experience every day. If that means I have to learn how to milk a camel and drink crazy concoctions, then so be it. Just kidding on milking the camel bit… ha!

I did however make some amazing sauce today. Now, I found this delicious sauce called Raspberry and Roasted Chipotle Grilling and Dipping Sauce. Yes, I am a lover of sweet and spicy AND it is made with SUGAR! Yeah, love it when I find sauces without the crappy HFCS….you know who you are! Anyway, I grabbed some pork chops, shook some Monterey Steak Seasoning over both sides and covered it with about a ¼ jar of this stuff, covered it with foil, and popped it in the oven at 325 for an hour and a half.

An hour later I added potatoes to the oven. Once the timer went off, I removed the foil and added another ¼ jar and about a glass of leftover white wine. I let it cook another 30 minutes. It smelled heavenly, but way too hot for my little boy. I got the idea of an orange sauce to go over it. I looked around the Internet but most recipes wanted fresh oranges…well, I have orange juice…that counts right!?!

Long story short, I ended up making up my own. I melted 2 TBLS butter into my hot cast iron pan and added amaranth flour and stirred until it turned bubbly and brown. Then I added about 5 or 6 turns of freshly ground pepper and ¾ tsp sea salt and stirred. Then I added ½ cup orange juice and 1 cup hemp milk (you could use regular milk) and allowed it to simmer for a couple of minutes. I then steamed some broccoli and chopped up two of the spicy pork chops and added them to the sauce. WOW! It was FANTASTIC!

Served with the baked potatoes, super easy and super good. You should try it sometime!

FINDING MY WAY

2013-07-22T21:44:00.002-07:00

Where am I? I seem to have deviated off course but I am back on track. To those who have been following along, I have decided to ditch coffee and resume implementing my new raw lifestyle. My health took a turn for the worse and I realized I need to eliminate aggravating factors from my diet, i.e. good stuff. Now don’t get all worried, but I know that things are getting worse inside and downing coffee and eating the typical American diet isn’t helping.

Over the past month I have noticed a significant change. I have begun to suffer from severe bouts of hypoglycemia within a couple hours of eating. It seems I can’t eat enough to feel right. I notice if the meal is high in fat or protein, in an hour it is as if I didn’t even eat. I shake, I run into walls, and I get depressed really easy. Then I noticed my hair isn’t growing very fast, my nails are flat with deep ridges, and they break easy.

I know my gastroenterologist will tell me to go on steroids, but to me that is my last option. I am investigating some unconventional methods and today I met with a Certified Traditional Naturopath. She says the nail problem is most likely because I am not processing fats or proteins, which is most likely contributing to my hypoglycemia.

We are running some tests but she says I am on the right track with my diet changes. So, we will see how it goes. Over the past couple of days I finally got into sprouting and I have learned many new things. Today I made sprouted lentil soup and it was fantastic. Normally I have to cook lentils for 20 minutes in the pressure cooker, but sprouted lentils take less than 10 minutes.

I love making soup, it is so easy, and once pureed my son will eat it most every time. My recipe goes as follows:

2 cups sprouted lentils

¾ tsp ground cumin

¾ tsp ground coriander

¾ tsp sea salt

About 5 turns of freshly ground pepper

1 orange bell pepper, chopped (tastes amazing by itself!)

½ onion, chopped

3 handfuls of baby kale

4 cups of veggie stock

Heat up a pot and put in about a Tbls of olive oil. Place all ingredients except the stock in the pot. Stir frequently for about 5 minutes and add stock. I didn’t bring to a boil. I allowed it to heat up and then pureed it. It was delicious. Not really raw, but I tried to keep the temp below the 118 degrees. I didn’t have a thermometer handy but I made sure it didn’t come close to a boil.

COLLECTING INFORMATION

2013-04-17T18:27:00.002-07:00

I have this horrible habit of buying books. It seems I could spend hours and hundreds of dollars at my local bookstore. Sadly ours closed years ago and I now check the library before buying online. I happened to be in the nutrition section when I ran across this book “Detox your world: Quick and Lasting Results for a Beautiful Mind, Body, and Spirit” by Shazzie. Yes, no last name, just Shazzie.

Sadly, I have been noticing I am looking more my age lately so I thought to give this book a try. With children in tow, it is pretty hard to give a book the good once over before checking it out, so I went with my gut and brought it home. I am sure happy I did, I am really enjoying this book!

I personally think it is amazing how things turn up in your life at the precise moment you need them. It didn’t even occur to me to think this book had anything to do with eating raw. I put it out there that I wanted to start learning more about this lifestyle and…BAM… this book comes along.

Glenn Harrold, author of “Sleep Well Every Night and Lose Weight Now!” commented, “For anyone starting out on a raw food or detox journey, this book should be a first read.” I couldn’t agree more. Shazzie has brought a few interesting facts to my attention and I thought it good to share:

· Being raw does not mean never eating cooked food again. She recommends starting slow and gradually incorporating the raw lifestyle into your everyday diet. Make subtle changes at first and work up to making it 75% of your intake. While 100% is ideal, it isn’t for everyone.

· This diet causes you to naturally lose weight. As you replace 75% of your diet with natural, plant-based meals, your body is able to process this food faster and your weight begins to gravitate to a more healthy number.

· Yo-yo detoxing is bad for your health. The gradual detox works best because you are more likely to remain living this lifestyle than by jumping back to your normal eating habits once you have lost the weight. Detoxing and retoxing shocks your body, and not in a good way. It can leave you in a worse state than when you started. Do it once and stick with it is the plan.

· Eating raw gives you energy. Not going to lie, this attracts me more than anything else. I am exhausted. Raising a two-year-old and a baby really takes it out of me. I find we are eating out more and feeling less energetic than ever. Stuff just piles up around my house and I am constantly apologizing for clutter. More energy would give me more time and who couldn’t use more time??

So far this diet seems to speak to me on a molecular level. Every part of me craves it. Thankfully my husband Jason is sold on the idea as well. I am so excited about the possibilities!

FILLING UP WITH A NEW FUEL

2013-04-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

Diet. Got to love that word…Diet. Love it so much, let’s say it again…DIET! Okay, I actually hate that word. Well, hate is a strong word, let’s just say I avoid the word. You see, I love to eat. A lot. I love the smell of food, the taste of food… basically, I love food! Diet means no more food. So, I don’t diet. But lately I have lots of problems with food. It hurts my tummy, it hurts my baby, in some way shape or another, it hurts my family.

So my love hate relationship with food ends below my hips. I am lucky in that, I tend to gain and lose weight proportionally. That is once my body has packed the weight onto my upper thighs…sigh. I have small hips, small waist, and large legs. It is like I have an hour glass figure with a speed bump at the end. I think they are referred to as saddlebags. I guess that is fitting since I grew up in the country.

Well, I want to take off those saddlebags. Now, I am not trying to be skinny, just toned and happy. While I know exercise plays an important part, diet has more to do with it than anything else. There is that diet word again. This time I mean it in a good way – fuel. I love that word…fuel. That word screams power and I LOVE power! Vrrmmm, hear my engines rumble…

This new lifestyle: raw eating. Now, I know what you are thinking…raw?? What is that?!? To be honest, I don’t exactly know for sure. I just know that I want a change and raw sounds interesting. I don’t have a solid plan, nor do I have a time frame. I just want to experiment and use this blog to document my progress.

Check back and see what happens.

Raising the White Flag

2013-03-28T20:36:00.003-07:00

I signed off my last post feeling so confident. I was sure I knew the right course of action and given enough time, I would prevail. Well, that wasn’t exactly how it happened.

After I signed off last time I knew I needed to start adding food back into my diet. I could no longer keep my body functioning as it needed to and drink only formula. We tried carrots, snap peas, prunes, and hemp milk. It seemed once I put it into my body he started to fuss and complain. Within 12 hours he was screaming in pain.

Patrick stopped sleeping through the night and the number of diapers a day began to increase. He started vomiting again and I worried we might be headed back down our dark road. I felt so confused. I thought I was helping my baby, now it seems I was hurting him again.

On Monday Patrick began to yank himself off my breast after sucking for a short time. It seemed like it was bothering him again. By that afternoon I switched back to Elecare and stopped breast feeding. He seemed to be doing a little bit better but not much. The agony of it all was more than I could take.

Patrick woke early on Tuesday morning and I got up to make him a bottle. I had about three ounces of Elecare leftover from the night before sitting in the fridge. I also had a little less than two ounces of pumped milk sitting next to it. I figured together they would make a perfect morning bottle.

I warmed it up and he eagerly took it then spit it out. He began to suck then pop his head back, similarly to what he was doing the day before. I knew he was hungry and he began to cry out of frustration. I went into the kitchen and made him a new bottle of only Elecare.

I came back into the room and gave him the bottle. He took it like a champ and grunted with relief as he took the first few gulps. Jason asked, “What did you do?”

I sighed and said, “I made him a bottle without breastmilk.”

We shared a knowing look and he softly said, “I’m sorry.”

I nodded and replied, “Thanks.”

I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with sadness. I am just not able to feed him anymore. He does well as long as I only drink formula, but the moment I introduce food, he begins to have problems again.

It isn’t worth it to go through all this to only end up in the hospital again. I have to do what is best for Patrick, and right now, the best thing for him is Elecare.

I am comforted by knowing the formula I am feeding him tastes good and is good for him. There is nothing more I can say other than, I gave it my all and it didn’t work out as I had hoped, but I have a healthy baby and that is all that matters.

Back from a break

2013-03-24T19:20:00.002-07:00

By Wednesday of last week I had become concerned. My body was showing signs of distress and I worried my bowels had completely shut down. Jason suggested I try to eat something to help things along, “You haven’t eaten anything substantial in over two weeks, I think you need solid food in order to get things moving again.” On Friday my doctor prescribed MiraLax.

I began to fret that if my bowels had indeed stopped working, it might impact my breast milk. Oh, the stress! On Thursday I ate some snap peas as they were calling me from the produce isle. No change. I broke down and had a sausage patty on Friday morning. Patrick suffered after that.

Now, part of getting back into eating from an elimination diets is to eat smart. You only eat food that is as close to its natural state as possible (i.e. raw veggies, plan meat, whole fruits). I know that. But, try telling that to a stomach that has had to smell sausage cooking all week! The moment my brain told the rest of my body that we were eating, my stomach demanded, “WE ARE EATING SAUSAGE!”

This isn’t your run of the mill sausage, mind you. This is fresh from your packing house sausage. No preservatives or fillers, only real meat and spices mixed together to make an amazing breakfast treat. I figured I was safe. Not so much.

So, Patrick’s stool changed back to green and his tummy was obviously upset. Way to go Mom! Now, you have Momma guilt to top off your breakfast! I continued to eat formula the rest of the day but nothing in Patrick really changed. When my doctor finally got back to me, apparently he has been busy, he prescribed a laxative.

With everything that Patrick was going through, I wasn’t going to add on to it the potential side effects of taking something to make me go. He goes enough! So, on Saturday I took my meds like the doctor ordered and had me a day of eating real food all day long. I figured if I was off breastfeeding for the day, I might as well enjoy it.

I started off my day with pancakes, but no sausage since we had run out and the rest was frozen solid. For lunch I had one brat topped with sauerkraut and fries and a beer. I was stuffed. Jason laughed and pointed out that my stomach had probably shrunk. No doubt. No dinner for me, there was simply no room!

Now, had I been doing this the right way, I might have started with some broth and worked my way up to some bland chicken and rice. Well, if you don’t know by now, I don’t do things like other normal people, I am a bit crazy. So, I jump right in and enjoy the hell out of my splurge day, as we used to call them.

Thankfully, I didn’t have any ill effects, and Patrick was recovering - thanks to my supply of frozen breast milk. Then Sunday morning came, and surprisingly, I actually craved formula! Silly me, I thought I could put my splurge day behind me and move forward. That was until lunchtime. Oh man, I wanted to eat leftovers so bad! Off with my formula I went to pout in the corner. Oh, this is tough.

I continued to feed Patrick stored breast milk and pump to maintain my supply. For the record, that is such a pain in my *&^! Some days I just want to stop. Around 2:00 p.m., I began to seriously consider quitting. I ran out of stored milk and gave Patrick straight formula. I could tell he wasn’t happy, but he ate it anyway.

About fifteen minutes later he spit up. This wasn’t his usual spit up, it was a thick, mucousy type spit up. I had never seen this and I became a bit alarmed. I quickly looked up on the Internet and the most reputable site (it had sources) explained it was related to GERD. I had that word…GERD. But, it went on to explain that GERD can be remedied best by breastfeeding.

Can I hear an AMEN?? It was as if the spirit world sensed I was buckling under the pressure and needed to give me a boost of guilt to keep me going. I mean, how I can let my boy suffer with GERD when studies proved that breastfeeding naturally alleviates symptoms!

So, after 24 hours had passed since my last real food meal, I went ahead and gave Patrick the boob. Funny, I can tell such a difference. He really enjoys breastfeeding; it is a struggle to get him to finish a bottle. I am rewarded with no spit up.

I finish writing this post with Patrick passed out from being milk drunk on my lap. I love that about breastfeeding. Prop that Boppy on my lap and he sucks away while I can type. Can’t do that when you are holding a bottle! Oh, the reasons just keep piling up.

On a good note, I am back to my ‘ol self again and feeling great. Now, to fix me a drink, of formula that is…

What? No Coffee?

2013-03-18T17:38:00.001-07:00

This morning as I tasted my breakfast and remarked, “Hmm, I think I like my shake a little thicker.”

Jason laughed and said, “I don’t think anyone has ever said that about formula before, are you becoming a connoisseur?”

I laughed, “Yes, I guess I am!”

So I think the right amount for one meal is 8 scoops to every 12 ounces, or 10 scoops for every 16 ounces, depending on how hungry I am. Since I prefer smaller, more frequent meals, I think the 12 ounces will work best, but, ohhh, how I miss breakfast.

Today I made pancakes and sausage for my son Ian. The pan was nice and hot which made the patty sizzle as it hit the surface. Within moments the familiar aroma of breakfast began to make its way to my nose. I smiled knowing that in a few weeks I might be able to eat it again; such a small sacrifice to make for a big return.

I think this morning was the first morning where I didn’t curse myself for giving up coffee. I was still tired but I didn’t dread facing the day without my steaming cup of java. I wonder what other fascinating facts I will learn about myself. I mean, facing life without coffee in the morning? Wow, that is crazy talk!

The other big change brought on by this diet is our dining habits. Eating together is very important to me, that is, until I can’t eat. Now, Jason and Ian eat together and I do dishes or breastfeed Patrick. It makes me sad that I write this as my family enjoys one of my favorite dishes, but again, it is for a good cause and for a short time.

Are we there yet?

2013-03-16T18:40:00.001-07:00

Over the past two days my resolve has been tested. I am holding strong, but it sucks. Yesterday we went to Stations of the Cross and afterwards met up with everyone else for soup and bread. To make matters worse, I had forgotten to drink my shake before we left; the temptation to eat was great.

The heavenly aroma engulfed my senses as I walked past the steaming pots of soup. For over an hour we sat and chatted with everyone but I focused on Patrick. Anytime I am thinking of eating anything, I remember why I am doing this and I no longer have the desire.

Today was Ian’s birthday and I made my first cake from scratch. It was chocolate cake drizzled with powdered sugar frosting and green sprinkles. My brain screamed, “I want cake!” Normally, I would be helping myself to two or maybe three pieces. All I could do was watch as everyone else enjoyed their cake.

The hardest part is trying to cook. Normally I try to cook based on what I feel like eating. Well, right now I feel like eating everything! I also sample what I am cooking to make sure I have it tastes right. It is a bit frustrating to hope for the best when I set out dinner. So far the only complaint has been when I added too much kale to one dish.

My body seems to be tolerating the diet pretty good. Tonight I had to start taking some Citrucel because things aren’t working so normal in that arena. I doubt it will cause Patrick a reaction, so I am not worried about that. I can see why the nutritionist was concerned about my lack of fiber intake on the diet, hopefully Citrucel does the trick.

I started getting concerned the other day when my hair began to look a little dull. It was the first time I began to worry what impact this was having on me. I styled my hair today and it looked the same as it ever did. Maybe I was just having a bad hair day.

The biggest change has been my hands. Normally they are so dry they hurt. That was the first sign that something was wrong before I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. I couldn’t use enough lotion, it seemed nothing worked, or if it did, not for very long. For the past few days the dryness has greatly decreased and is located only at the base of my fingers. I take this as a good sign.

It seems like I have been on this diet for a long time but we are only at day 10. I feel like I am running a marathon and I am getting tired but I just passed the two-mile mark. This is going to be a long, tough road. But every time I breastfeed my baby, I forget all the hard stuff and rejoice in the fact that he is doing better and it is all because of me.

Resuming Breastfeeding

2013-03-15T10:42:00.001-07:00

After being on the diet for three days, I was asked if I was worried that Patrick wouldn’t breastfeed after being on the bottle for over a week? What?? That happens?? I guess having breastfed successfully with my first son for ten months, I assumed this one would be the same. But, this experience was nothing like my first baby and I began to panic.

I immediately went to my baby, who was sleeping at the time, and woke him to breastfeed. Yes, it was too early, but in my mind, I had to know! I mean, if this wasn’t going to work, why the heck was I going to go through this Elecare diet if Patrick refused my breast? Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.

Just like a champ, Patrick breastfed like he had never stopped. I think part of the reason was that he had made it to the eight-week mark before having a bottle introduced full-time. Whew, that is a relief. But then I looked down and my breasts looked pretty pathetic. How was I going to get my milk supply back?

I started pumping, but this isn’t exactly easy with a two-year-old that wants to know why Mommy can’t play. Things weren’t improving. I upped my water consumption, but still no improvement. A quick internet search later and I found that I needed to have baby feed constantly. Well, it was the weekend so I left all duties to Jason while Patrick and I hung out in bed all day. It took about five days but everything returned to normal and we were breastfeeding full-time!

With this concern out of the way, what impact would the diet have on me?

The Elecare Diet

2013-03-11T20:23:00.002-07:00

One week ago today I found myself sick with worry in the hospital room. I had spoken to many doctors and they all seemed to have their own theories. Through it all, one doctor seemed to be the most sure of the prognosis – Dr. John Feerick. This man is my hero.

He looked at my baby and he looked at me with unwavering eyes, “Your baby has a milk allergy.” This did not come as a surprise. I had suspected it once I found bright red blood in his icky, green stool. I was a breastfeeding mother and after some research I found I needed to take out every speck of milk from my diet. Two weeks later baby Patrick had shown some improvement but began to take a turn for the worse when the vomiting started.

Dr. Feerick explained that it would be best to give my son only an amino acid based formula and to discontinue breastfeeding. My heart was broken. I had such strong convictions against formula feeding and I wanted nothing to do with it. But, I couldn’t deny the fact that breastfeeding was literally killing my son. I gave in and accepted the fact that there would be no more breastfeeding for me.

The next day I noticed my baby began crying and was increasingly fussy. Great. The hospital prescribed Maalox. Patrick was taking it after every feeding. This wasn’t working either. Giving him that much medicine, even though it was every two hours, couldn’t be good for such a little body. Dr. Feerick came in again and I began to ask serious questions about the possibility of breastfeeding if I only consumed the amino acid formula.

One might question how I even considered such an option. There were rules I had made for myself as a mother and one of them was: I would never feed my child something I myself would not eat. So if I was planning on feeding my son formula, the only thing he could ingest without having a reaction, why couldn’t I eat it too thus making my breast milk good for him again? Dr. Feerick was open to the option and said he did know of one other mother who had done it and found success. He also mentioned it might help my ulcerative colitis.

On that remark I was sold. I would use my body as a processing plant; by consuming that which my baby could tolerate, I would produce breast milk he could eat without getting sick, and Patrick wouldn’t have to take iron supplements or the Maalox. I could see no downside to my new diet. Course, that was until I began to tell the rest of the medical staff of my intentions.

The dieticians were the most concerned and I honestly feared they were considering contacting Child Protective Services. Thankfully, after research they relented and said they could find nothing wrong with my diet, and cautiously gave their okay. I almost cried with relief.

Dr. Feerick was on board with my diet and sent me home with some samples. I have Neocate and Elecare. I will need to consume one can per day to meet my necessary daily caloric intake. Each can provides me with 1900 calories. I personally need 1400 calories and the remainder 500 calories will support my ability to breastfeed my baby.

The first time I tried Elecare I thought it tasted pretty terrible. I think most of it was because I told myself it would. After I chugged it, it didn’t taste so bad but my stomach wasn’t too happy. I think it was asking, “What the heck was that?” After two days I could tell I had flushed out my system. I wondered if I was ready to try breastfeeding. The concern is: will my baby still want to breastfeed after being on the bottle for over a week?

Book Progress

2011-10-25T00:10:00.000-07:00

My work is nearly done but far from over. This task has taken me farther than I ever thought possible. I initially had thought I would blog about my writing experience. WHATEVER! Who the heck has time to blog when you are writing a book? Not me, especially when I have so few hours to devote to writing anyway. The only reason I am even able to write now is that I can't sleep. My brain is pumping at 100 miles an hour and I can't seem to shut it off.

To catch you up from my last posting… I conducted an Internet search for people who had worked for Enron and were laid off around December 3, 2001. From those names I searched for phone numbers or other contact information; only a small percentage responded. Mostly it was curiosity that drove them to return my messages. I was fascinated by many of the stories told to me over the phone – off-the-record of course. I enjoyed every conversation and found that Enron hired some amazing people. While they all had a story to tell, only twelve made it to the place we are today – close to publishing.

I started the Facebook page after the designer finished the cover. The title of the book is Rising Above Enron. I wish I had more time. Oh well, it is as it is. I am working on the website for the book and when that is done I will close down this blog. Stay tuned, the party is about to begin!

Deciding on What to Write About

2011-07-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

When I was nursing, I had a lot of time to think about writing a book. I knew I wanted to write an inspirational and motivational book. I thought of the different kinds of personal experiences one could encounter that might motivate them to want an inspiring book. One of those was being laid off. Hmmm. I wonder if there have been any large layoffs over the past 10 years. I did an Internet search and BAM..I found it..ENRON. The ten-year-anniversary is coming up on December 3, 2011. I can’t believe it has already been 10 years. I started to read some books to familiarize myself with the subject. I read ‘Conspiracy of Fools’ and ‘Smartest Guys in the Room.’ Both these books were written by investigative reporters that compiled tons and tons of data to write those books. I felt they were the most accurate and could give me the basic knowledge about why Enron went down. It made me sick when I was finished. It was awful to see the extent of greed and selfishness that permeated itself within those walls. So many people lost everything and a few made out like bandits. It was a story that needed a happy ending. I decided to write the book about how those who were most impacted by the bankruptcy managed to pick up and build a better life.

Next, I talk about how I found my candidates.

New Challenge - Write a Book

2011-07-18T22:41:00.002-07:00

I am ready to announce to my world, I am writing a book. I have hardly talked about before now but now that chapter 1 is finished, I am ready to share my experience. The process leading up to this day has been long and not without its challenges. So instead of a fitness challenge, I welcome you to walk with me as I attempt to publish my first book, alone.

The idea came when my son was a little baby. I had quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom. I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit, and forever dreaming up the next big money making idea. It was a source of much entertainment for my husband and friends. To me it was frustrating. I wanted so bad to find success, at least the success I had always dreamed about. For me, all I have encountered is failure. Okay, failure is a bad word, really difficult and life-altering learning experiences. How is that for a positive spin?

In 2007, I closed a business I had developed myself and invested over $100,000 into. It was everything I had saved, everything I had ever owned. It was all gone. I was penniless. I was angry with myself over my inability to build my business. I always felt I was so close, yet so far away from that breakthrough I so badly needed. It wasn’t to be. I realize now it had to happen so that I could become who I needed to be. It was a very humbling experience, but only the first of many to come. It brought me down from my arrogant pedestal and more in line with the normal population. It is amazing to think back on who I used to be and how I used to act. I am surprised I lasted as long as I did, it was downright dangerous.

As I developed into the more low-key me, I met my husband. He completes me and together we are an awesome team. As I make progress, he is my support system and my cheerleader. I am so lucky to have him.

So I welcome you to walk me down my path to getting my book published. Stay tuned!

Day 89: WOW, this is ME...!

2011-07-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

Day 89: Wow, this is ME 13 Weeks Later!

When I first started this endeavor, I thought it would only last 12 weeks. I thought I would get all excited, go through this effort and then get back to my old routine. It was about week 8 when I decided it was to be our new lifestyle. I love how I feel, it doesn’t take that much effort and I really enjoy cheat day. Jason has lost 33 pounds, he looks like a new man! Me, I am too small for some size 4’s! The I still have some progress to make (my legs) but I know this is a lifetime achievement. It doesn’t matter if I hit my mark at 12 weeks or not, what matters is that I know someday I will. I am still working out every morning. I feel this alone was a game changer for me. At the end of the day there just isn’t much of me left for a workout. Workouts in the morning refresh me and give me the energy boost I need to make it with less sleep. I hated working out in the beginning, planning ahead really helped. Then, I started planning ahead for other things in my life. All of sudden, I am organized, okay…not totally, but way more than I used to be. I really enjoy what this has done for my marriage. Not that is was on the rocks, but I felt it brought us closer together. We were achieving a goal together, and that felt really good. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I can’t believe that is me staring back. I have hated that girl in the mirror so long, I never thought we would ever be friends!

I must admit, seeing the photos all together, it is very impressive. I am still in shock! It was on my mind but since week 4, I haven’t been in an all fired up mood to get my progress pics taken. This morning I knew it must be done but I was dreading it. I am a perfectionist. My thinking is, if it can’t be perfect, it isn’t worth doing. This has held me back in so many areas of my life. I hate mediocrity and substandard is unacceptable. But this is life, isn’t it? Life isn’t perfect, it is messy and unpredictable. Just when we think we got it figured out, it changes on us. Just like my son. This challenge meant a lot to me but I think after week 8, I got a bit overwhelmed with life. I started my book, and that took over my free time. Once I took care of my family there wasn’t enough of me left to blog about my progress that day. I got into a mode of thinking that what I doing wasn’t hitting the marks I set for myself. I got down and didn’t want to talk about it. Sometimes, if you can’t say anything positive, it is best to keep it to yourself. So, I just stuck to my diet, cheated sometimes, okay more than sometimes, and exercised 5 – 6 times per week. I wasn’t losing weight but I wasn’t gaining. Then last night I had a ½ of a fajita extra than I was meant to, drank a couple too many really good drinks and paid the price this morning: 124.2. I gained a half a pound from last week. From that weight, I am 11 pounds lighter than when I started. I hit my goal weight of 125. I don’t have a goal weight anymore, I just want my body to be whatever weight it wants to be. But weight doesn’t tell the whole story, let’s look at the numbers:

Arms Before: 11 ¾

Arms After: 11

Total Loss: ¾ inch

Chest Before: 35 ¾

Chest After: 34 ¼

Total Loss: 1 ½ inches

Waist Before: 32 ½

Waist After: 28 ½

Total Loss: 4 inches

Legs Before: 24

Legs After: 21 ¼

Total Loss: 2 ¾ inches

Total Body Loss: 9 inches

But sometimes you have to see to believe…

Preparing to Evacuate

2011-06-19T21:40:00.000-07:00

We have a huge fire burning near our home called the Monument Fire. So far the fire was too far away to be really worried about it. Last Friday I had a brush with disaster as the field just south of my home caught fire. While it was not related to the Monument Fire, it was started by a bulldozer clearing some nearby land to protect Fort Huachuca. I left for a trip out of town that day. My heart sank as I received news that our home was in danger and the neighborhood had been evacuated. My friend said “Don’t go home Carey, just go to your Mom’s, you will be safe there.” Thankfully the fires were extinguished and several hours later I was able to return home. In those rushed moments I tried to think of specific things to save, the cats, the computer, and some clothes. It seemed like I didn’t own much of anything that couldn’t be replaced and I instructed my husband to take as many pictures as he could. We were really unprepared.

I think about it and wonder, are we ever really prepared for disaster? How many of us have the proper documentation to prove to our insurance companies what we own? I know I am almost there now. Yesterday I tore apart my kitchen and took pictures of everything. Jason thinks I am going overboard, but I don’t care. I don’t want to kick myself later and wished I had done it. We have so much stuff and it is difficult to say how much we really need versus how much we just don’t want to throw away. I then thought maybe a fire would be freeing in a way, able to rid myself of things I never could bring myself to discard voluntarily. I don’t know, there is much I would miss that I can’t save. We don’t have the space for me to pack up my boxes of cookbooks, so I just pick out a few that can’t be replaced and move on. It is funny as you begin to go through things, like the filing cabinet, how much do I really need to keep? I had started to grab files and place them in boxes when I realized, if I did this, I could quickly run out of space. I went through and in the end only ended up with enough to fill half a box.

I have things packed up and ready to go. I know when the order comes we won’t have much time. I keep the cat carrier out because the cats freaked out when Jason brought it in from the garage. I figure it would be easier to get them in it if it is already in the house. I look at the fire coming down the mountain and can see the progress it has made today. If it makes it to the base we would be in real danger. Course, other homes would perish before ours would, guess that is the bonus for not having a great view. I imagine my home inventory will take me another day to finish. Earlier this afternoon I felt a weird anxious feeling. I am better now. It is out of my hands and I have done all I can. I hope and pray my evacuation efforts end up being a waste of time. If not, I know I am prepared.

Day 67 – No More Fat Clothes

2011-06-10T13:59:00.001-07:00

Jason is really looking good but it comes with a price, new clothes! Yep, he was beginning to look like a little kid in daddy’s clothes going to work. I donated all the old clothes to the Vietnam Veterans. I love that they come by and pick it up. I told Jason, we are not going back to the old us. Like it or not, we are this size because it is too expensive to be buying a whole new wardrobe every year. If things start getting a little snug, that is just a signal for us to check what we are eating and how much we exercise. After a while we will have built up a new wardrobe of one size, not a mixture of fat and skinny clothes, but clothes that fit every day. Tonight we are going to a formal event and I am really excited about wearing my new outfit. First time in over 10 years that I can say that. Usually I hated the way I looked but now, momma is looking good!

Awww, I love the feel of 123 pounds. I imagine if I wanted to become more skinny I could but that is not my motivation. I am really enjoying where I am at and I know it is here to stay. For the past two weeks I have been weighing in an almost constant 123 pounds. Except a day or two after cheat day, but for the most part I have found my comfort zone. Jason and I talk a lot about what life will be like when the 12 weeks is over. We both agree not much is going to change. I have incorporated cream back into my morning coffee, it is heaven. I was talking to Merica down at our local GNC (in the mall) and I was telling her about my desire to reincorporate dairy to our diet. She said it is good but not every day. Interesting. She said two to three days a week is okay but any more and we risk putting on more weight. Hey, two to three times per week is something I can live with. Every week I still continue to see small changes and I am very happy with how I look. Course, there are two more weeks to go before final pictures are taken, we will see for sure then.

Okay, made a Carey Concoction yesterday. Jason thought it was awesome, you be the judge.

Ham and Pineapple Delight

1 ½ cups of chopped ham

1 can chopped pineapple, drain and reserve juice

½ cup frozen corn

½ cup chicken broth

¼ chopped onion

1 chopped red bell pepper

3 chopped roasted green chilies

3 cloves garlic, chopped

Heat heavy pan and spray with a bit of oil. Saute onion, green chilies, bell pepper, corn and ham. After about 4 minutes add garlic. Saute for one minute and add chicken broth and pineapples and ½ of reserved juice. Bring to a boil. Cover and reduce heat to low, and allow to simmer for 15 to 20 minutes. It was awesome.

Okay, ham isn’t really in the diet but I was out of meat and I had surprise company. You do what you got to do.

Day 56 - Seeing Progress Everyday

2011-05-30T20:03:00.001-07:00

I was sitting outside enjoying the afternoon when it occurred to me that I don't notice the cellulite dimples on the tops of my legs as much. Jason began to show me new muscles on his legs that he was quite impressed with. We began to have a conversation about what was so different this time. Both of us have tried to lose weight over the past 10 years with limited success. It always seemed so out of reach for us. Jason thinks it is because this is the first time we are exercising AND eating right. I think there are other reasons, limiting my cheating moments to once per week a huge reason. I used to be slave to my emotions: the worse the day, the worse I would eat.

Another bonus we have noticed is how relaxed we both are. I don't feel wound tight and ready to snap all the time. Unfortunately, this was a major problem in our marriage: my emotions. I would be tired, hungry, or sensitive for any reason and his head was quick to be bit off. I knew this was a problem and had been working on it for some time. Now it seems I don't get riled up at all. I also enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. For many years I stopped looking as it would depress me to see how badly I was aging. Now I am excited and ready to look in the mirror.

I have flat abs for the first time in my life. I never thought I would be blessed with this as I hate doing tons of ab work. The great thing is you don't have to, you just need to burn the fat off that is covering them! This diet has literally changed me inside and out. I have never been so happy in all my life.

Today was cardio and I had a nice strong session. It felt like I was pushing myself but not like it once was. I ended feeling exhausted but refreshed. A really nice way to start the day.

Tonight I made the best Rosemary Lamb Stew. It is super easy and delicious. I got it out of Emeril's New New Orleans Cooking on page 75. Basically, you get your pan super hot. Add olive oil. Use some cajun seasoning and rub it into the lamb meat. Sear sides for about 2 minutes. Add chopped onions, potatoes, carrots, rutabagas, turnips and cook for a few minutes. Then add some stock (chicken or lamb), garlic, pepper, rosemary and some chopped tomatoes. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and allow to simmer for a couple of hours. The recipe says 25 minutes, but it needs time to fully incorporate all the nice flavors. Seriously, you won't be disappointed. This was a nice light meal for us. My first time cooking with rutabagas, not bad. Turns out they are very similar to potatoes with much less carbs. Hello rutabaga French fries! Ha ha.

Day 55 - Four More Weeks To Go!

2011-05-29T20:05:00.002-07:00

I wouldn't say the first 8 weeks went by fast, but I am glad we have made it this far. It has been a struggle at some points, but overall we are doing really well. I didn't lose any weight this last week (other than the cheat day weight) but I think I am at that point where too much more weight loss and I wouldn't be looking healthy. I love the changes so far. I can really see my shoulders and the definition in my arms - very impressive! I have never looked this way before and it feels really good. I wish my upper legs were in the same shape but I think it will take time. Jason and I have already decided not to stop the eating regimen but we do plan on incorporating back in the dairy and a little more fat. Nothing too crazy, but seriously, I MISS MY CHEESE!

Yesterday was a relatively tame cheat day for us. We had bacon, fried eggs and pancakes for breakfast. It was lovely spreading butter again. Yum. I got to use my first harvest of my kefir grains (pronounced ka fear). I have been growing them in milk for over a week. I was reading how it eats the lactose in milk and leaves tons of really healthy probiotics behind. It helps with the digestive system and in this family, we need all the help we can get. I replaced the milk in the pancake batter for kefir milk and you couldn't tell the difference. Jason ate it all up. Course, he has already said that is close as he intends to come to voluntarily consuming it. Ian and I had some with blueberries and a teaspoon of maple syrup. He ate it up. Nice, since when we tried it before he wasn't too fond of it plain.

For lunch we had one and a half tamales. We were saving up for dinner where we ate an entire small Chicago style pizza. Yum. Highly recommend Zachary's in Tucson if you are looking for an awesome hole in the wall place to eat some great pizza. We had a great time. Too bad we had to drive an hour and a half to get there, but no worries, it was worth it.

Today I felt so groggy and sluggish and I attribute it to overload cheat day puts on our system. We have decided for the next four weeks we are going to take cheat days a little easy. Maybe eat more of the good stuff but not so much high fat, high sugar stuff. We will have some but not to the extent we are now. Jason wants to be able to eat whatever we want but cut down the portion sizes. I am good with trying that. We also decided to make Friday a day of light eating, similar to the Lent season. Jason was hearing from a co-worker that fasting is really good on the digestion system sometimes. I figure it was worth a try.

Life got in the way of our workout on Saturday and I got up too late to work out this morning. I am ready to get back into it tomorrow.

So all this past week I have been using recipes from a cookbook. Unfortunately, with the copyright laws, I can't share them directly on this blog. I thought of it yesterday that I could have at least shared what recipes and in what book, so I will start doing that from now on. Good news, I made another Carey Concoction today!

Rosemary Pork with Braised Jalapeno Cabbage

1 lb Pork Loin, ¼" thick sliced with Rosemary Garlic Spice Blend from Spice Islands sprinkled. Let sit for a bit in the fridge while the cabbage cooks.

1 head green cabbage, chopped

1 jar jalapenos

¼ cup onion, chopped

3 garlic cloves, chopped

1 ½ tsp mustard seeds

1 cup chicken stock

1 tsp Garlic Pepper

Heat large pot with 1 TBLS oil over medium high heat. Add mustard seeds and stir until they start to pop. Add onions, sauté for a bit, then add cabbage and garlic. Continue to stir for a few minutes. Add the chicken stock and the jar of jalapenos. Sprinkle garlic pepper over top, and reduce heat to low.

After about 30 minutes, heat a heavy pan with 1 tsp oil and when hot, add pork. Cook until done. While that cooked I made some roti bread. The cabbage most likely cooked for about 50 minutes when it was all said and done. It was prefect and not too limp and gross. Jason ate the heck out of it. The heat was very sly, it snuck up on you but nothing too bad. It was fairly mild tasting. I took a bite and thought, hmmm no real heat, then after a second or two, it was ohh there is the heat. Nice flavor and if my husband eats it, it is good!

Day 53 – When a Partner Cheats

2011-05-26T20:22:00.003-07:00

Up until now we have both nibbled a bit and partaken forbidden fruit. It hasn’t been anything too outrageous. I battle my desire to snack on graham crackers, saltines and life cereal. Jason battles a desire to want to eat lots of everything. The key word is lots. He and I share a healthy appetite of healthy proportions. Probably most of the reason why we were in the shape we were. We never ate bad, per se, we just ate a lot of what we did eat – healthy or not. Getting used to the new portion sizes took work and was a constant exercise in restraint. Jason exceeded expectations. He and I kept each other honest and the physical changes we have experienced reflect our commitment to the cause. Until today.

So there was a BBQ at Jason’s work today. His intent was to have one bratwurst. He went on an empty stomach. People around him were eating, laughing and having a great time. He had one. Then he went back for 4 more brats and 3 more hot dogs. In his defense they were sans the bread and condiments, but SEVEN!!!! REALLY!!!! He was not very happy with my reaction and thought I would be more understanding. I told him next time, eat first or just get one and leave the area. You can’t remain near temptation and expect to remain strong. The lesson to take away here is to monitor your surroundings. If you are trying to stay away from sugar, don’t go into the candy store. At the very least, take what you need and leave.

Day 52 - Just Keep Moving, Just Keep Moving...

2011-05-25T19:53:00.001-07:00

This morning I was tired as usual but happy it was a cardio day. I just wanted to sleep! This was by far the best cardio day since I have started. I was practically screaming during Level 10. "Come on Carey, Almost There! Keep peddling, keep going, 15 more seconds, COME ON!" Seriously, I wonder what the neighbors think. I got off the bike and felt awesome going to the shower. First time in a long time that I felt I had met the challenge. A really good feeling.

Today, I wanted to eat. Every time I gave Ian a graham cracker, I wanted so bad to have some. I felt like some dog watching every bite he took, all the while licking my chops and waiting for him to give me some! Not that bad, but close. I resisted the temptation by moving. I found that when I have a craving, if I just start doing stuff (i.e. cleaning, folding laundry...) I stop thinking about that craving. Now, if I am actually hungry, that will continue to eat at my brain until I put stuff in my stomach. Since I could be easily distracted, I knew it wasn't hunger. It was annoying just the same.

So Jason was giving me a hard time about having that graham cracker the other day. I find it fitting that he succumbed to temptation today - pizza. Yep, he had a slice of Pizza Hut Pizza. I wonder how strong I would be if faced with piping hot pizza sitting in front of me? Hmmm. Probably not so strong! Ha. I am proud of him for stopping at one. We all falter, but it is the strong that pick themselves up and continue on their way.

Day 51 - Finding Alternatives to Avoid Missing a Workout

2011-05-24T20:01:00.001-07:00

My son is cutting teeth and he hasn't been sleeping well. That means I haven't been sleeping well either! He has continued to wake up at 11:30pm and at 4:15am. This really sucks for me as I wake up feeling worse than when I went to bed! This morning was the worst. I told Jason I couldn't do it and for him to exercise without me. I am not sure if that extra hour did me any good, but it was a relief not to get up and exercise. As I was eating breakfast I knew I needed to make time to exercise. Before I had just allowed that day to be missed and I would make up for it later on. But this was becoming a habit!

I decided I would exercise differently today. So off with the stroller we went and down to the park. Ian had a great time watching Mommy do squats combined with a sidekick and front kick, lunges with a back kick, and calf raises. I did everything but my ab routine. Ian had fun playing and I got my workout in. That was nice. In addition to my workout, I logged about a mile or so pushing the stroller. Even better.

I got back home and I felt totally refreshed. Before I had been feeling down for missing my workout. Taking the time to think differently brought around a new frame of mind. Course, this time is usually when I get housework done so that didn't happen today...we have to pick our battles and today the house lost. Oh well.