Finding Leo

En Route to Better Days

2012-05-13T09:57:00.002+08:00

Slashed my two cards. Inspired from a good friend's blog entry.

I come from a poor family. Tracing my roots, I never heard any stories of my mama or papa being part of a well-off circle. True to the adage, “tell me who your friends are…” their friends as of the same income bracket. All that I know is that my papa used to be an OFW in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia for a decade. Through his earnings and my mom’s ability to manage their finances, my parents were able to invest on a farmland – now our mango farm, buy a house and a lot – now contested by the Araneta’s Carmel Development Incorporated (story found here) and was able to finance my college. I say we’re poor, because we always struggle until all meets end. Despite my parents investments on our farm and their sidelines at home, fact still remains, we don’t have consistent flowing income. I don’t want to dig in anymore to my sad stories like commuting to PUP Sta. Mesa just with 50 bucks daily allowance, or surviving 4 years of college just with one pair of jeans, 5 t-shirts and a sandal. Times were really tough during those days. Though it is still tough, my story now is of different leverage.

Education really prepared me. Beyond the textbooks and my professor’s lecture, I learned through meeting people. I learned the introduction to corporate calisthenics during my OJT in the Senate and DFA. I learned by listening to old people. I kept in mind their wisdom.

As I started earning money, things changed for me and my family. I became an instant bread-winner. I sent my sister to college; my wallet has suddenly been a source of fund for us. Don’t get me wrong. I am not complaining. I love helping out my family. It was just fair for me to provide, after my parents have helped me become who I want to be and for supporting me for any endeavors I’d like to pursue. For me, it’s automatic. They never have to ask. I will give.

To tell you the truth, I had perpetual finances issue in my life. Only until recently.

When my income started to increase after being a risk-taker (and successful with that) in my BPO career, that’s when it all started. I started having credit cards and purchased some loans just to sustain whatever it is I never carefully planned of, say, luxuries. Funny thing, I can never quantify which goes where, or simply which goes as to be useful until now. I was never a wise-spender, obviously.

It dawned on me few years back that debts can really wreck havoc my future. I started to read and study. I started to get curious. However, I never did change my way of life. I know stuff, but I never do anything. But when life started to tap me (metaphorically, of course), I started to plan out my life. My bad state of affairs during being unemployed really propelled me to start writing down my action plans.

One person that really helped me in this ordeal is Nimmy.

Nimmy being the smartest I know in terms of handling finances, have been my source of inspiration. I share what I learn from the books (credits to sir Robert Kiyosaki author of Rich Dad Poor Dad), and he shares what he learns from his current job. It was a couple’s synergy. Nimmy works in the biggest and brightest banks of the land and strategically, he also works in asset management, the field where I can get the most of intel. More than the knowledge Nimmy can provide, is the fact that his family has well kept values in the financial acumen. The value of saving has been tremendously passed over to him, which is the same value we share now in our relationship.

Now that my finances are back to normal, (thanks to being employed, and being more financial mature), I let Nimmy do the finance tactics for a better increase in yield. We were not wrong with the plan. I have him manage all my earnings, and for me to say the least - just keep being frugal. Bottom line, as couples, we need to be transparent all the time. I can say we’re successful.

I’m happy to write that as of May 9, two of my three major credit cards have been cut off. If not for Nimmy, and his foresight, this could not have been realized. We plan to carry out this plan for the next 6 months and expect results. However we surprised ourselves in just 2 months! The other credit card that I have is just to take care of my car's gasoline.

Well, I’d like to put on a record that the lesson here is not to have a smart boyfriend. It could have been easier. It’s a plus, but not a requirement. Financial intelligence is just one aspect. I guess what’s paramount is the fact that I decided, I planned, and I act. In so doing, it did help me more having a partner who talks the same language.

Knowing I’m in a financial distress is one thing, doing something about it is another. Having someone to help out is just perfect.

Ok, ok. I know I can’t be a savings expert. But in my experience, I really learned that money after all is not the problem. What do you think? Well your guess is as good as mine.

So I come from a poor family. But that doesn’t hinder me from not aspiring for better and comfortable life. All it takes is the drive to learn and take action, and the propensity to control one self. I probably read this somewhere, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity…” I can relate totally.

Always take the time to prepare. Don’t be afraid to learn. Take risk. Like so many people, they failed. I do too and I will still fail some more. But I learned from them. I may have failed and left me impecunious, but in the end, I become smarter. It fueled my desire to achieve, not only for myself, but also for my family, for Nimmy.

"I can do anything, I believe I can do..." -Stin Hansen, Motivational Self-Talk

Broken White Shoes

2012-04-23T03:23:00.002+08:00

One day I was commuting to the office wearing my white shoes. I need to catch my training class at a very early schedule, 5:30am to be exact. I was on a rush and by some foreboding stroke of the universe, my shoes’ sole flapped and exposed my black sports socks. My instinct was to buy glue and I did. There’s no conspicuous hardware store in Eastwood, and my recourse was to bet my bills on a drug store, Mercury. I won against preconceived notion that Mercury only sells drugs (the legitimate ones of course), and off I go with a bottle of water and Bulldog epoxy. When I thought having glue was a quick fix, I was completely wrong. So as the story goes, after buying glue, I went straight to a comfort room in Cyber Mall, applied carelessly the glue on my shoe’s sole and off I go. No one told me that I need to wait for a few minutes to make the glue bond and fix it. So I walked towards the office, feeling my shoes to be unusually loose still, only to find out – that half of my foot is half-exposed to people in the office lounge. First few hours in training, I was still fixing my shoes, but all the time smiling at my Mentos experience. Was I embarrassed? Oh hell yes. But I felt that there’s something more in that experience. I felt I become a different person.

I had a share of those embarrassing moments in the public place. To name a few are getting bumped by a stranger or an electrical post while walking, tripped on a pothole, parking booboos and so many others that keeping a record requires a thick log book.

You see, back then, when I was few years younger, I don’t get to let go of those experiences easily. I felt I was not normal. I felt weak. Same goes back to the time when I was still in school and when I was embarking on my early years as a young professional. I tend not to forgive myself on small mistakes. Blame it on my achiever attitude. I have a goal. I have plans. Gearing against it was not really an option. Situations that are not in my favor kill me. Those situations that irk me are things I thought that stands in my way. In other words, I tend to get easily frustrated in myself. I’m a perfectionist, but my life is not a complete resemblance of what I aspire. But then again, I learned to let go. I’m not sure if it comes with age, but I’m sure it comes from experience.

While working on that same day, with semi-bare naked feet, I realized that life is going to throw you different things, sometimes all at once. True that your character is being tested by the way you react to them. Was it my fault to experience those? Absolutely not. But I am to be blamed by how I react and shudder. So I chose to react on that shoe-experience that it’s something not to be worried about and ruin the rest of my day. I thought of it as an opportunity to buy new shoes. Smiling, I thought I’m lucky to understand that I can buy a pair the same day. I just have to wait for the mall to open.

I may not be the right person to give advice in dealing with depression. I can’t pass as a life-coach. But let me tell you something. You know I experienced being depressed for not being able to know what exactly I want in life. For months, I was unemployed. It was an episode in my life where I was torn discovering a new path in my career. I wanted to be on a different industry. But then again, being unemployed was half a choice, and the rest are taken to be a time I wanted to do something else. Along the lines, I had terrible mistakes. Mistakes for taking for granted the time. Decisions, or the lack thereof is pricy, not all people realize that. I got depressed, and it was something I thought was a reaction for a life that took control of me, instead of me controlling it.

I am now on my second step of fulfilling my Personal Legend.

This is the time where I am learning myself more. This is the time where I’m pretty sure as to where I’m going. There’s no holding back, and my intuition is saying I’m on the right track. Everything is falling into place and it’s all coming my way. There are still some roadblocks, but I feel it’s just placed there to give my plans a test. It’s there to make my life less boring and monotonous. I’m speaking not in an arrogant way, but it’s just that my heart is at peace to my own actions. Gone are the days of ambivalence and high-rise anxiety about life. It started when I learned to know what makes me happy and go after it no matter what.

So to whoever is reading this now, I know you have your own challenges. You have your own chasing of your personal legend. We know it’s not going to be easy. We know there will be challenges in life. We go through the same phases with work, family and love. Age is not a requirement. Finances are of no bearing. Relationships and network are baseless. It’s you, and only you who can fulfill your dreams. Chase it. Clamor.

Because the moment you don’t, broken shoes will keep you from walking.

P.S. Our Nikki is back and is in full condition. I get to drive him again.

Life After The Alchemist

2012-03-02T09:01:00.000+08:00

Few days after raving in my recent post the book, The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho, I've been getting positive vibes in my life one of which is realizing and confirming that it is with human facility, that innate power that we can control and summon the universe to our own agenda. The intensity it took reading page after page, have reverberated all throughout the days, which until now, I can't believe that it's all happening. I didn't get the same intensity after reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne several years ago or any other books I came across, ever.

Within thirteen months, I've accustomed myself to the routine/confines of reflecting, realizing stuff, spiritual adventure, faith overturn, networking, rekindling old ties, reading, studying, business, sports and leisure and other things I can't even remember or is not even worth remembering.

I got the first hand experience of the numerous adages about life's intricacies and how you can turn yourself into a hero of your own life.

I am PROUD of the fact that in just a few days, I am embarking on my FIRST step fulfilling a Personal Legend. I am set on a mission for a stunning comeback in the industry I learned to love and hate at the same time. It's the perfect timing to correct the mistakes, and get even to the life that has deprived me in order to learn, in order to realize how the universe eagerly wants me to take that STEP, not half-hearted, but full of enthusiasm and bullish mindset. I was bullied by fate, and all it takes for a sweeping victory is to just fight back by capitalizing on your "cards." It was not that easy.

As I was signing the employment contract few days ago, I can't help but think of the people that never let go of the spark they said I still have in me. The people who have the sternest belief and trust that I can go on and be successful still, albeit the doubt stamped all over my body. They too have slapped me to wake up. My gratitude STAYS with them.

I've realized that whatever life has thrown you - meager roads, endless crossroads, tribulations or just plainly challenges, whatever your HEART desires, whatever it is that you want ultimately, it will still be victorious in the end. Along the way, you will have different dreams, different goals. But at the end of it all, one dream will stand out. Time is indeed a friend. It gives you the ability to realize and weigh things out. Mine took thirteen months while for others it just doesn't happen. I still view myself, LUCKY.

It was a feeling of joy that I can't even explain through words, when it has dawned on me what I really want to achieve in life. One by one my set of OMEN appeared. And just like what P.Coelho described on one of the chapters- that once you get to hear your heart communicate with the soul of the earth, "beginner's luck" seems inevitable. Everything just falls into place.

Employment came to a breeze, people I need to have contacts to embassy, real estates, stock management and even migration, started to come my way. I'm not even really sure what it is going on, but even Nimmy got the chance to listen to one of Suze Orman's seminar. We all know her for her financial management acumen and her show in CNN. I need the learnings, and it is all coming into my doorsteps.

Sometimes I really think how stupid I was during the months I was on a limbo. It stinks. But now I realized why that thing happened. It made me STRONG and just ready to fight head on.

Then we know, The Alchemist came.

I read, deciphered and learned concepts. I learned about myself MORE than ever.

I learned about what I was really dreaming about. I learned my purpose.

That stupid book, it has really CHANGED me and my life's course.

Twittering Kembulars

2012-02-26T15:30:00.001+08:00

Favorites. I got tons. But one thing really stands out especially on days when I feel tormented and shitty. It's my buddy Twitter.

So here's my video about this most fly social networking site. A short and straight forward video about how I spend and view Twitter. I know some of you will relate.

Enjoy and follow me on Twitter - @Leomer, and let's spread love and for the most part, positive vibes.

I Changed.

2012-02-13T16:41:00.002+08:00

Omens are individual language in which God talks to you. My omens are not your omens. They are this strange, but very individual language that guides you toward your own destiny. They are not logical. They talk to your heart directly. The only way you can learn any language is by making mistakes. I made my mistakes, but then I started to connect with the signs that guide me. The silent voice of God that leads me to the places where I should be. – Paulo Coelho, author The Alchemist (an interview by Laura Sheahen, for Beliefnet)

When 2011 spring boarded, I never had any inkling as to what the future entails me. Few days before the New Year, I was jobless. Like for most part of my life, I gave everything to fate. I deeply surmise that whatever I’ve gone through my career is an experience itself. They are life lessons I can bring to any path I wish to take. I know through faith in Him, I can surpass any obstacles. I can be whatever I want to be. I started to fuel my faith by engaging myself to religious creeds and acts. 2011 then is a year to rekindle my faith. It is a time to get serious with God, know Jesus and his miracles, and learn how to be a faithful servant. When I felt I need to do something more, I attended to St. Jude Thaddeus Novena every Thursday, prayed the rosary everyday with lighted candles, visited several churches in the metro and read the bible. I listened fervently to Bible readings and priest’s sermons. I read a lot of religious books and if I felt it was not enough, I meditated in the hopes I can hear God, and be able to listen to what He has to say to me.

In other words, my spiritual consciousness got triggered. It was a year of self-reflection. I asked myself a lot of questions. I started to listen to myself. I looked for answers in my everyday existence. I observed a lot of people. I rekindled my relationship to friends, opened up to them. I sought answers by listening to our priest, by eavesdropping to my parent’s church conversations, by listening to music, by reading gargantuan number of stuff, by watching movies and TVs, by staying at home, and observing our family. Once, I tried reaching out to someone of a born again faith. I ventilated my present tribulations, prayed until tears fell from my eyes. I believed that if I keep my faith, and that I keep on having a healthy relationship with God, everything will just be a breeze. It is on this year, I learned that if I have God as a center of my life, my happiness is infinite. I tried all avenues – including self-taught meditations and learned that spirituality is not only embracing it through your own. Spirituality breeds in relationship with people. I learned meditation techniques including those of igniting chakras. It was still not enough and all happened in one year.

2012 ushered in and just with a snap, I halted my religious senses. I had STRONG patience, so I thought. Quickly the reality set in. The irony though, is how slow it has taken me to realize that I’m going nowhere. I suddenly felt the feeling of having a blindfold across a wall. I started to walk, I tried to climb, to run and what I get are contusions from trying to go through the partition. Believe me, it was just hard.

I started to study concepts.I need to shy away from what's depressing. I don’t care how weird it is, but whatever catches my attention and curiosity, I readily set myself into. I started to like something not ordinary. I wanted something new. I wanted something unique. I can’t have a continuous routine. I will just die liking the same things over and over again. I needed a hero to grab my neck and raise me from suffocation.

It’s when the time I started to learn and appreciate Celtic music. I took the time to read and study stock markets. I did whatever is not ordinary to some. It’s also the time I started to question things and despise every mystery of the world. I started to feel the need to find answers to those questions I demand to know. I studied astronomy through documentaries. I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH ME.

The more I seek God, the more I find myself alone and sad. I started to question the fundamentals of religion. What has it brought into my life? I want to find the truth and through reading history and learning from several people, I deduce things that lead me to strong belief against my religion. Just like the twin towers of WTC, my faith in religion came crashing down. I will never see any organized religion the same way again.

I’m still in the process of fully accepting agnosticism in my life. Since first Sunday of 2012, I never attended any mass. I don't like being associated with any religion. I can say I’m not searching anymore. I felt inner peace. Surprisingly, my view about my life changed tremendously. Guilt was erased, and I feel free from the clutches of what people have to say. It’s liberating. My belief now stems from the fact that the Universe has its own course and that we are affected by it. I’m not sure what to label it, but for me, it was just fundamentally right to begin with that thought, with that concept.

Do I still believe in God? I really don’t know. I maybe a freethinker, but a-not-so intelligent type for that matter. I'm in the process of profound reading.

Just as I was contemplating the Universe, I recently closed a Paolo Coelho book entitled The Alchemist. It was the first time in my entire life to read a book with so much intensity. I felt it was relevant to what I’m going through. It’s a shame to have read it just now. Nonetheless, I felt overwhelmed at the same time joyous that in my course of finding for a plausible answer in my life’s intricacies, I found one.

Paolo Coehlo is my omen.

Music and Kantahan

2012-02-10T17:43:00.002+08:00

Don't worry, the last time I checked, I'm still normal though this video may not say so.

I love music particularly, singing.

This is my way of showing my inner talent, albeit not a lot may appreciate it, I still believe we have all the right to post whatever we want on our respective blogs. Without further ado... I just do hope you watch the full video. And like what I say to most of my video blogs, "this will change your life..."

I'll be writing back soon. Promise.

Love on Top (Badminton Music Video)

2012-02-05T16:20:00.002+08:00

Weekend has always been my sports day and Nimmy day. Who wouldn't enjoy the company of friends too? Life is awesome with good people around.

This is my first attempt to create a music video and since I love Beyonce, I'd like to have her song as my first project.

I hope you guys enjoy it.

Cheers!

I'm That Bored

2012-02-03T12:05:00.001+08:00

This is me when I feel bored.

Go ahead judge me.

Boredom is not fun.

Nah.

Who's Bad???

2012-01-28T14:13:00.000+08:00

Here's a video in response to your common questions and feedback in my recent video blog!

Don't fail to watch the last part.

It'll CHANGE your life.

What I Think About Some Bloggers

2012-01-22T10:54:00.001+08:00

Oh well, when I'm crazy (like most of the time), I end up doing something unexpected like this. Here's what I think about bloggers and my reactions about what they write.

Nothing serious though and pardon the audio, I'm just using PC camera.

Happy 26th Birthday Nimmy! (a video blog)

2012-01-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Here's my first video blog, a birthday greeting for the only man of my life, Nimmy.

Enjoy the whole video, including the rooster's cock-a-doodle-doo!!!

Happy Birthday Mahal!

67th Monthsary!

2011-12-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

Nakakatuwang isipin na sa hinahaba ng pagsasama namin ni Nimmy, hindi pa rin nagbabago ang uri ng aming pag-uusap. Kung sa text man ito o kung magkaharap man kami, aakalain siguro ng sinuman na kami ay may sapak sa utak. Kasi madalas para kaming mga bata o mga sintu-sinto na akala mo’y hinihila ang mga pisngi o kaya’y nilalamutak ang mukha, para lang maging charming o cute.

“I love you mahaaal…”

“Eeeee… Mahal na mahal kita asawa ko…”

Kababawan man ito sa ilang intelektuwal na nilalang, hindi ko sukat isipin na mabubuhay ako kung wala ito bilang parte ng buhay ko. Kumpleto ang buhay ko dahil mayroon isang taong sumasakay sa aking kababawan. Na kahit ano man ang marating ko sa buhay, hindi ako mahihiya na marinig niya ako maghilik habang natutulog, na marami akong pekas sa balat, na minsan kailangan naming mag-usap kahit bagong gising kami at alam niyo naman ang halimuyak ng iyong bibig kapag kakagising mo lang sa umaga. Hindi ako nag-aalinlangan kapag mayroon akong kailangang sabihin sa kanya, tapat ko itong nasasabi, kahit ang gusto ko lang naman sabihin ay mga kung ano-anong walang kwenta.

Minsan nakinig ako sa isang guided meditation at sa isang diskusyon, may nagsalita tungkol sa authentic prosperity. Marami akong natutunan at isa dun ay ang ego mo ay patuloy kang sasabihan na may kulang sa ‘yo. At sa meditation, matututo kang kumawala sa ganitong patibong. Masayang nabuksan ang aking isipan na tila ba ako’y nagising sa katotohanan. Ako ay nabiyayaan ng napakagandang bagay sa buhay ko. Habang ang ilan ay nagkukumahog maghanap ng kasintahan, at yung iba ay bagot na sa kakahintay, yung iba naman ay busy sa pagkakayod at paghahanap buhay, at ang ilan naman ay mayroong mga kumplikadong suliranin na tinatahak sa buhay nila, ako nama’y masaya na sa mga pagkakataong dumaraan, lalo na ang pagkakataon ng magmahal ng isang tao na alam kong binigay ng Panginoon.

Sa iyo mahal, maligayang ika- 67^th monthsary natin.

Asahan mo na patuloy akong susuporta sa mga pangarap mo, at patuloy akong magiging tapat at mapagmahal mong kabiyak. Ipinagdarasal ko ang mas magandang kinabukasan para sa atin.

Mahal na mahal kita.

Stronger

2011-11-25T15:15:00.001+08:00

Stronger

by Mandisa

Hey, heard you were up all night

Thinking about how your world ain't right

And you wonder if things will ever get better

And you're asking why is it always raining on you

When all you want is just a little good news

Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head

It's gonna end

God's right there

Even if it's hard to see Him

I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

And things can only get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger

Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can

Hold on and let Him hold your hand

And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus

Oh, lift your head it's gonna end

God's right there

Even when you just can't feel Him

I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life

He will be faithful to complete it

If only you believe it

He knows how much it hurts

And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

In time it's gonna get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger

Stupidity Episode 1

2011-11-24T10:41:00.001+08:00

Picture taken from: http://www.3rdeyeopen.org

A long time ago, there lies a kingdom from a far away land. The kingdom has a Handsome King and a Beautiful Queen. On the contrary to the foregoing, their child was an ugly, horrible, dark Prince. So ugly was the face that no one dares to look at. His face was hideous that anyone who lay their eyes on his face will die of a heart-attack.

One day, the ugly prince went to the woods to play. He got lost from the long and winding track. Tracing his route, he saw a cabin and knocked.

“Hello, anybody home? I’m lost. I need to get back to Kingdom before

supper.”

An old lady opened the almost dilapidated door and was shocked on the sight of the prince.

“Go away ugly Prince! I can’t help you. I’m old and…”

Before she can finish her sentence, the old lady died of heart-attack.

The sad ugly Prince got bewildered. He went back to the road and on his way, he saw a horse carriage. The old man halted the horses and asked the Prince.

“Are you lost my child? Where are you headed?”

“I need to get back to the Kingdom before supper, I’m lost and I can’t find my way back.”

Before the old man can respond, he died.

The ugly Prince head on to the gravel road and saw a fruit stand. He stopped by and asked the store owner.

“Madam, I’m lost and hungry. How much is an apple?”

The store owner looked at the pale and ugly Prince. To her shock, she died.

The ugly Prince took a big watermelon and headed back to the road. On his way, he saw an old man with a dog. The ugly Prince know that in order for the man not to be killed, he need to cover his face and what better way to do just that is by using the watermelon he stole.

He covered his face and asked the old man. “Sir, I need help to find my way back to the Kingdom. I’ve been walking for hours, and not a single human being survived seeing my face.”

“I’m on my way to the Kingdom to pay taxes. You can walk with me, but you have to give me your watermelon.”

“NO! You can’t have the watermelon. The moment I give this to you, you will die.”

Startled by the ugly Prince’s abrupt retort, the old man pulled his dog’s harness and walked away.

The ugly Prince followed the old man with the dog, still carrying the watermelon both with his hands, up on his face.

“You can’t trick me old man. I can still follow you on your way to the Kingdom. You can die after tagging me unknowingly from a distance.”

The old man found out that the ugly Prince is following them. He purposely changed his route. His dog suddenly became uneasy. He pulled his dog’s harness and the ugly Prince heard the dog’s restrained sound. The ugly Prince can’t see the whole ordeal because of the watermelon blocking almost half of his vision of the road.

Towards the ugly Prince’s last step, the ugly Prince fell towards a big cliff. His head banged on a sharp stone crushing his skull and his left eye popping out. The watermelon swung by his chest and got crushed on his pelvic.

The dog’s tail went side to side and pulled his master towards the road to the Kingdom to pay taxes.

The END.

Fionnghuala by Anuna

2011-11-19T18:26:00.001+08:00

I'm currently studying Celtic music and this song interpreted by the best Celtic music chorale, Anuna, has moved me into multitude of proportion. Their superb rendition, arranged by Irish composer Michael McGlynn is so fascinating that it made me watch this video multiple times. From beginning to end, I had goosebumps more especially towards the audience's generous applause.

Complete Lyrics in Scottish Gaelic

Ars' an gobha fuiricheamaid

Ars' an gobha falbheamaid

Ars' an gobha ris an ogha

Na sheasamh aig doras an t-sabhail

Gu rachadh e a shuirghe

Sèist: (after each verse)

'Si eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Am bothan a bh' aig Fionnghuala

'Si eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Eilean nam bothan nam bothan

Am bothan a bh' aig Fionnghuala

Bheirinn fead air fulmairean

Bheirinn fead air falmairean

Liuthannan beaga na mara

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Bheirinn fead air fulmairean

Bheirinn fead air falmairean

Liuthannan beaga na mara

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Cha d'thuirt an dadan a' seo

Bheireamaid greis air an tarrainn

Na maireadh na duirgh dhuinn

Thuirt an gobha fuirighidh mi

'S thuirt an gobha falbhaidh mi

'S thuirt an gobha leis an othail

A bh' air an dòrus an t-sàbhail

Gu rachadh e a shuirghe

***

Lyrics in English

The blacksmith said, "I'll wait"

The blacksmith said, "I'll go"

The blacksmith said, in his confusion

Standing at the door of the barn

That he was going to go courting

Chorus:

Island of bothies, of bothies

Fingal's bothies

Island of bothies, of bothies

Fingal's bothies

I'd knock spots off the birds

I'd knock spots off the hakes

Little lythes of the sea

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

We got nothing here

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

I'd knock spots off the birds

I'd knock spots off the hakes

Little lythes of the sea

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

We got nothing here

We would take a while hauling them in

If our hand lines last

The blacksmith said, "I'll wait"

The blacksmith said, "I'll go"

The blacksmith said, in his confusion

Standing at the door of the barn

That he was going to go courting

Downbeat Thrown

2011-11-17T13:23:00.001+08:00

Where's the cliff when you need it? When you need it more to fly than to exterminate yourself from the world? Questions like this haunts me at the same time bores me to pieces. It's like you just want to jump, take the plunge and enter a world of the different dimension.

Gone are days of extreme paranoia. Gone are the days of obvious predilection to pain. Now is the day to soar. Now is to clasp both hands and in between is just a thin air. You stare at yourself in a reflection, and you see someone with a resemblance to your hope.

Where's the cliff when you need it? To throw away the compost of your past. To see how gravity pulls the scum of your world. I see my own smile. The tears of insurmountable longing for power. It's the day of triumph. The day of the endless. The day when it haunts and bores, the day when you enter the dimension.

Leather gloves clenching the heart of the pessimist.

Where's the cliff when you need it?

Dark

2011-11-08T17:18:00.001+08:00

It is known truth that both of us has nurtured strong faith in Him. We believe in His omnipotence and His way of delivering His precious gifts and blessings to us. We do away with the thought that despite our kind of relationship, He still loves us and guides us the same way He does with straight couples. He's kind to each and everyone and that's how He will be forever.

True enough, I've gathered from Mr. Schuller that there are stages in Faith. We come across several challenges that makes us question Him. We doubted His presence. I personally feel He has forgotten me. In this dark moment of my life, I requested for Him to feed my hope. Nimmy prayed for me that I may trounce this depression and bring me to a place where I can make use of my talent. Nimmy told me, "Mahal, we can't be busy together. God said, if that happens, it's going to be difficult for us." He's right. I suddenly felt guilt for thinking that way. I can still remember how Nimmy narrated how God answered him. From then on, we never showed any signs of reluctance not to believe.

But I'm just human.

As I write this entry, I am then again feeling the need to be alone, to ostracize myself, rethink and find myself. It's becoming a cycle, it's not that easy, mind you. I despise it.

No self-help book can rally round yours truly. I'm on the verge of not even trusting myself and my friends. I'm plain weird.

Just few hours ago, I received a text informing me that my application got pended. Another rejection blown to my face. It's been a year of recollecting myself, trying to think of what else to do and aspire for. Seeing a lot of closed doors has becoming a hobby, I needed to get out.

I'm in dark.

Amend

2011-11-06T10:39:00.000+08:00

In my own humble ways, when contemplation is not enough for me in trying to digest behavior of people, I try to seek in understanding the culture that is weaving the contemporary society and how it is evolving. I'm a far-cry from any expert or a sociologist. However, my perspicacity enlightened me that it's really not about the powerful people. It's not about who's weak or oppressed. Not too close in its disparity. But greatly inclined in the way how people live. And this is how I start to analyze my own.

I'm vulnerable as a victim to any infringement. I live inside a society where laws and statutes are prolific in words, but doesn't hold much dignity and conviction. This holds a strong foresight to a challenged and shaken justice milieu. I am not alone in the desire to better lives and affluence or anything similar to that nature. Yet right before my eyes, carnage pounces on every corner to either bring food on the table, or fund further atrocities.

I am PRO Life and deems the rights appended to any human being.

But I am not alone in this society. What kind of strength should everyone bear to whittle down the termites splurging in and out? When things get into your senses, you feel for those that have crumbled. I feel like just being helpless like those that have suffered.

And when it seems I get cornered by believing that we live in an irreparable society, the only way I know I can afford for a bail out is clasping both my hands and implore God to deliver a transformation and bestow upon us peace - not just for myself, but for the people who needs it whether they know it or not.

When Kids are Not Kids (literally)

2011-11-04T10:41:00.000+08:00

Our household is composed of the usual cast; the Mother, the Father, Sister and Brother. I’m the eldest and I’ve seen my sister and brother become adults right before my very eyes. When I was still young, they were babies. Unlike most of the elder siblings, I don’t get jealous by my parent’s ardent attention with the juvenile rowdy broods. I got a life of my own and I only need minute guidance from mama and papa. When I was a kid, I got high expectations upon myself and I felt the need to inspire the kids to study well like me. I thought I got 50% success rate in that goal, having my sister graduate BS Nursing and my younger brother, still a work in progress. He’s out from college pursuing rock music.

Growing up, I was used to having kids running around the house. I used to seeing crayon marks in the wall, toys all around the living room and candy wrappers hidden under the sofa. Apart from the usual riot I see almost every day, my parent’s voice lingers in every corner of the house. On those very moments, you can see me inside my room, studying. Or doing my favorite monologues or singing.

My parents now are nearly approaching their 60’s. The average age of the household now is sitting at 37.8. In other words, we’re getting old and the usual noise you hear at home is now replaced with the noise of TV, radio, dogs barking and neighbor’s children playing outside the street.

Only until recently that we got to be friendlier to our pets. In comparison to the previous years, we’re generally friendly to our house pets but not to the point of allowing them inside the living room. They can just go as far as our dirty kitchen. They have their own abode in our garage or backyard.

Things have changed and we now miss having kids around. However, we can’t have the option of having another kid, for obvious reasons that Nimmy and I can’t produce our own. Adoption is not also an option. Raising a kid for us means we have to be very stable in all aspect. We’re working on it. My sister doesn’t have a boyfriend and I influenced sister enough with the need to establish a good life for her future kids. Brother has a girlfriend, but he’s well aware of the repercussion of having his own family. He’s definitely not ready for it.

So to satisfy our craving, we have established some special bonds with our pets. They can now enter the living room, play around the carpet - which by the way, have been exposed to our dog’s furry coat. It’s a struggle to clean. Cats can now wander around our rooms. Cats and dogs have been playmates and our spring door, their most favorite playground equipment.

By the way, if you consider fighting cocks as pets, we have around 17 cocks- 12 found in our farm, 5 are in our backyard, tendered by my dad. Whether they like it or not though, they can just stay where they are.

I'd like to introduce our cute and lovable house pets. Apologies for the pictures, it's hard taking them when they are in constant playful motion and if you're just using a cellphone cam. Also, they have last names too, courtesy of my very prolific sister. Enjoy!

Yuki Manashue, our 2 years old Canaan white breed dog. His tricks include high five and puppy eyes.

Jamal Yaislamiya, 3 years old dwarf askal. He's the Mara in Mara Clara.

Cerberus Xrus, 3 years old dwarf askal, the Clara in Mara Clara. He's got special talent; licking walls and doors.

Lucio Cubangay, son of the famous blogger Nimmychan, chilling out in our car Nikki.

Father and son, Nimmy and Lucio. This is also my current phone wall paper. So cute, I wanna squeeze them.

Odie Wankinobeh, 5 years old tri-colored queen resting in Nimmy's thigh.

On Getting Fit

2011-11-02T15:54:00.000+08:00

2.5 lbs

I admit it.

I’ve procrastinated in my aspiration of achieving wellness. If I remember it right, a month before leaving our apartment in Pasig, I make it a point to jog in the nearby mall’s massive parking space almost e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. My goal was to compensate on my hobby of stuffing my face with food. Because that time, living with your partner is to be surrounded by food and other gastronomic pleasures. Blame it on appetite and Nimmy’s generous dad because every week, we don’t spend too much for food anymore, because our ref is a refuge for plethora of carbs and sweets and other dishes which propels you to eat and eat some more.

Now I’m back to my parent’s house, I get to experience a whole lot of difference from my usual lifestyle. I have more reasons to get fit.

As I zero-in the grounds to have a healthy life back, I thought that I just turned 31 and my body requires more nutrients and vitamins to be able to sustain vitality and strength.

What’s more important is my aspiration to live longer so I can achieve whatever it is that I am dreaming of. Wellness is of paramount nowadays, because of the stress each person can get because of work and the unhealthy habit of the populace.

So only last week, before the long-weekend, I committed myself to exercise, healthy diet and meditation. Just today, I’m feeling the early benefits of it.

Caloocan-Bulacan boundary, my new running road

It’s true that when you exercise, you feel happy. It’s true that despite the feeling of soreness in your thighs, biceps and back, you feel that there are changes happening in your body. You can’t help but anticipate for more positive changes. Only recently, I found myself addicted to coffee because when I halted the habit just even for a day, I get headaches. Meditation cures just that. Deep breathes, finding my center and ability to control thoughts are proven powerful cures for my anxieties. Honestly, I can say that I can think more clearly now compared to few months back. I can now rekindle my being and I’m happy to say that it has greatly benefited not only me but the people surrounding me.

To affirm my goal of wellness, I am committing myself to the following;

Balanced diet
Running
Light weights
Meditation
Prayer
Love

Approximately 3 kilometers from turf, middle of the road, alone and doing brisk-walk

Guardian Angel

2011-10-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

For once in your life, have you wished seeing your guardian angel? The being we all know having wings and a fine-looking face, usually seen on robe and depicted on story books, and descriptions better seen as caricature on Christmas season. Others believed that angels are spirits that sashay on our motions and everyday living. Others also say that they take the human form sometimes, although this one is less popular. One thing is true though for most, that angels are like protectors from untoward occurrences.

I think I saw my guardian angel in 1992.

I was asked to do errands by mom one day. The task requires me to purchase several stuff for our garments business. At 12, I’m already adept as to where the retail market is from. I already got acquainted to several store owners. In other words, at a young age, I know the “where” and the “how much”. As I remember that very day, I was talking to a salesperson about a recent purchase and might require some time to complete. I told her that while waiting, I will just have to have my school ID laminated. During that time, our school doesn’t own yet a laminating machine, so students will have to make ways in keeping their school ID in one piece before the school year ends.

I crossed the street, went to the nearby school items store. My ID was returned to me and I got excited how it became so sleek after lamination. A hole was punched and a clip was inserted. I hurriedly crossed the street again to pick up what I have left from the store.

“Ate, kunin ko na yung kahon.”

“Sige, sandali lang.”

On my way to the PUJ station, someone, around 15-16 years old went towards me and placed his heavy hands in my shoulder. He was way taller and bigger than me.

“Putang ina mo, akin na yang pera sa bulsa mo, kundi sasaksakin kita sa tagiliran mo.”

I was completely stunned.

I can’t even utter any word during that time.

The poor kid, gave in to the coercion and intimidation. Good thing I only had 85 pesos in my pocket. During that time, it can buy you three value meals in McDonalds.

As I don’t know what to do, my instincts just propelled me to walk towards the jeepney station, and ride home without paying the driver. My mind is telling me to cry, and my heartbeat is so fast that I can’t breathe. Tears fell instantly in my eyes. I started to pity myself for being weak.

From a distance, a guy, probably around 20-25 years old actually witnessed the ordeal. He approached me and asked.

“Ok ka lang ba? Wala kang kasama no?”

“Wala po eh…”

And I cried quietly while following him.

“Tara, san ka ba umuuwi? Sumabay ka na sa akin.”

I told him where I live and as I look into his face my eyes got blurred with teardrops.

The guy sat in front of the jeep, near the driver and yours truly went inside and sat near the driver’s back. I can see from my position the guy and he told the driver what just happened to me.

Up until this point, I can’t remember the guy’s face. But honestly, I really felt his someone I know from a long time. He’s like a relative, an uncle. He paid for the fare, and I sat down, thinking what just happened. I was really shocked. I know he's giving me glances, and mostly pitying me. All throughout the ride, I was just staring at my toes.

I bid goodbye to the guy, and thanked him for shelling out few pesos for me. He smiled and all I felt was profound peace I can’t understand. I know he’s my guardian angel. I’m just so sure about it.

I rushed myself to the house and cried to my mom while telling the story. She got really worried, and never asked me to do the errands for her.

And I never told anyone about that person who helped me.

Fast forward 19 years, I felt the need to blog about him and tell the universe that I’ve experienced a guardian angel’s presence. I can’t thank him enough for helping me get through that experience. On my mind, whether he’s true or not, I’d like to pray for his good soul. You don’t get to witness good deeds a lot, but that experience with him really gave me the strong faith that if you get in such tribulation, there’s always going to be that higher being to help you out. It’s true.

To my guardian angel, I don’t get to pray for you a lot, but tonight, I’d like to offer a short prayer for you.

How about you? Have you experienced the presence of your guardian angel?

Thank you!

2011-10-21T10:56:00.001+08:00

Picture taken from: http://umeandwe.blogspot.com

Yesterday was my 31st birthday and it was one of the most memorable!

I'd like to thank God for giving me this life and blessings that made me who I am today.

I'd like to give a big shout out to the following people who remembered my birthday through Facebook notification. I remember a tweet, "If you like to feel appreciated, always remember you can always change your birth date in Facebook..." LOL.

But seriously, I really did feel appreciated and loved. Yesterday until today this morning, was like a mini-online reunion with some of my friends whom I never talked to for more than a year. Nonetheless, it's a great realization for me that despite my choice of closing my FB wall to my friends - they all sent me short and quick messages just for me to know that they've remembered my special day.

Thank you to my blogger friends which happens to be most of my Twitter kakulitan. You guys have no idea how you keep me company for a year already. Our twitter and blogger interactions really completes my day. I can't imagine surviving depression and boredom without your wits and humor.

Special mention to:

ronaldreyes

jepjepdee

caffei_nate_d

handyman_ph

mac09callister

_geek_

Suplado_

hartlesschiq

iamPsycheALLAN

soul_jacker

shesthebosch

marcy2mang

iyakhin

leahsayomac

lonewolfmilch

CedMD17

tridlovesU

ceiboh

iamredsalgado

elayas

heyoshua

dan3u

khantotantra

citybuoy

heyeiyan

akosibabit

bohemian_diary

ilovesani

bulakbolerosasg

johnahmer

brainyangelic

green_breaker

iheartroanne

TRAurelius

niflheimr

binobautista

babejaps

andydugay

khacai

akosimrchan

Hey8sLeo

josephthaddeus

AXLPPI

balangingi

ihateposh

angYOW
notthewimpykid

Thank you to those blog comments/greetings through baklangcockroach.blogspot.com and here:

charles.

Sean

Jelai

CKEspanol

SunnyToast

KikoMaxxx

anney

Ayielle

caloy

daniel the jagged little egg

bien

Hi! I'm Lili!

Ms. Chuniverse

ZaiZai

google delacruz
Aris
Diamond R

To my Facebook friends composed of school mates, classmates, org-mates, former office mates, neighbors, relatives and badminton buddies; the list could have been longer if I haven't closed my wall; but it's better this way, really.

Nap Evangelista

Krissan de Guzman

Anna Garcia

Judes Ramirez-Catalano

Mg Delas Alas Mendoza

Princess Porte

Neneng Galarpe

Lovely Czarina

Jerin Solis

Janice Dela Cruz Vidal

Alex Silvestre

Cabu Caburian

Maria Ifliza Guarino Capacio - Roasa

Khieziah Aguinaldo

Leo Tolentino

Al Lan

Nek Evora Barro

Rose Labindao

Aileen Tapel

Azineth Baguio

Kristine Joy Dala

Urman Preet Singh Jolly

Cristina Kim

Joanne Luis

Pete Castro

Mylen Lumahan Tolosa

Maria Teresa Trinidad - Morado

My Pajarillaga

Dez Bradley

Ramir Gojit

Fan Ni Saunders

Loui Castillo

譚週

May Hernandez

Peter Paul Loteria Magat

Jimrei Jess Miranda

Farrah Duey

Cecil Ejanda

Rhan Runner

Jessy Tanjuaquio

Lee Cedrick Fillarca

Kc Cruz

Ellen-Meg Cerrada

Donna Bebe - Bartowski

Lhai Montano

Gilyn Panteleon

Ed Ward

Mez Follante

Arjhay Agapay Fukuchi

Sanie Callueng

Aldwin B. Catral

Atty. Onette Toldanes

Anna Lee Fos

Ivah Denise Barrera

Dondoy Luna

Emcie Ramirez- Dela Torre

Daniel Chyll Marmita - Sarroza

Jenalin Padolina - Tualla

Mica Mics

Cheche Zabala

Ronnie Comia

Victor Tolosa

Jape Isish Gurrobat Mayor

Jeffry Buboy Sulayao

Christine Dacanay Cacal

Donna Adarle Geniza

Bam Quiestas Mijares

Vince Condicion

Rohamah Manuel

Cel Timbre

Mheng Ruiz - Malcampo

Zyrille Mirandilla

Eynz Fernandez

Polyn Kagaoan

Msdhane Nhea

Irwin Michael Hinayon

Cherie Joy Orfanel

Christopher Gatlabayan

Deza Fabul

Atty. Eli Aringay

Erickathess Molano Diokno

Mela Asturias

Aejae Bautista

Kristine Dela Pena Coronel

Rence Respino

Melissa Dala Apolonio

Fred Carpio Rn

Aline Olson

Chona Reyes Vernon

Erick Frago

Jacqueline Figueira

Debbie Paz

Brenda Alegre

Kris Oliver

Marah Ostonal

Diyaki Alyana

Rosa Almencion
Ariel Pinano
Romeo Urbano
Janice Ambayec-Schroer
Airen Duran
Ivy Joanne Ganaden
Pinky Valerio

Thank you for to those who spent one peso (unless you have unlimited text on your phone) and texted me -

Maricon Madrilejos

Jeck Amor

Desole Boy

Ethel Mationg

Kelly Guerrero

Jonah Trinidad

Willy Apostol

Yuan Pancho

I may not have a lot of friends in this world, but I'm so happy receiving all your greetings in whatever way!

Lastly, I'd like to thank the love of my life, Nimmy for creating two special posts on his blog for my birthday. I love you Mahal. See you later.

To my parents, my sister and brother who all went with me, early morning of Thursday to hear mass, thank you and I love you all.

To all my friends, I think the list is good for next year's celebration invitations, aye? :)

Have a great day everyone. I love you all!

Better Today

2011-10-19T08:00:00.001+08:00

Boost!

I named one of my playlist as such because it is a compilation of songs that makes me giddy up most of the time. Lately, I've been digging inspirational songs and R&B music and I stumble upon something that has both.

It helps when you listen to good music and amuse yourself with the lyrics. It's like bringing yourself to a whole new different world. Euphoric as some would like to call it.

So I'd like to share this song to you.

____________________________

Better Today

by Neyo

Whoa wow whoa wow whoa wow

Whoa wow whoa wow whoa wow

Ow

You see it all in my smile

You hear it all in my laugh

The way I walk you hear me talkin,

No, I'm no longer sad

I've got more reason to smile

More now than I've ever had

Open my eyes and realized

That nothing's quite that bad

I've got a different approach

To dealin' with emotion

Keeping control of my boat

While drifting on this ocean

Keepin my head to the sky

Keepin tears outta my eyes

Unless happiness be the reason

That I decide to cry

And lifes too short to dwell on all that's wrong

Stand up now

Stand up now and I promise not before long

Chorus

You'll be feelin better today

Much better today, much better today

So much better

Feelin' better today

Much better today, much better today

Much better today

(Repeat)

Feelin so much better

I know about down and out

I know about when it gets tough

Losing the fight, you see the light,

And you just want to give up

I know about being depressed

About leaving someone you love

I also know about standing up

And saying enough is enough

I've got a different approach

To dealin' with emotion

Keeping control of my boat

While drifting on this ocean

Keeping my head to the sky

Keeping tears outta my eyes

Unless happiness be the reason

That I decide to cry

And lifes too short to dwell on all that's wrong

Stand up now

Stand up now, and I promise not before long

Chorus

You'll be feelin better today

Much better today, much better today

So much better

Feelin' better today

Much better today, much better today

Much better today

(Repeat)

Feeling so much better

Ahhh aaaahhh aaaahh

Oooooooooo

What will I give I tried

I could fly away right now

Hold me cause I finally found my smile

Chorus

You'll be feelin better today

Much better today, much better today

So much better

Feelin' better today

Much better today, much better today

Much better today

(Repeat)

Feeling so much better

Payo sa Kabataang Nagmamahal

2011-10-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

PNP: SM Pampanga shooting incident a closed case, but…

abs-cbnNEWS.com

Posted at 10/16/2011 3:31 PM | Updated as of 10/16/2011 3:31 PM

MANILA, Philippines - The Pampanga Philippine National Police (PNP) already considers the SM shooting incident involving two minors a closed case despite possibilities raised by one of the victims' family.

The family claimed that a third party may be involved in the killing, as gleaned from an amateur video of the incident that made the rounds in the Internet last week.

Pampanga PNP spokesperson Superintendent Jhoanna Rosales told ANC that all evidence gathered by police pointed to the 13-year-old victim as the one who shot his friend and ultimately, himself.

She said, however, that they are willing to reopen the investigation if their initial findings will be challenged. – from ANC

Naging paksa kamakailan sa mga programa sa telebisyon, radyo, diaryo at internet ang balita ukol sa pagkakamatay ng isang kabataang lalake at ng kaniyang kinikilalang nobyo sa SM Pampanga. Usap usapan din ang naging video na kumalat sa Youtube na tumuligsa sa sangkapulisan at pamamahala ng SM. Sa pagkitil sa kaniyang buhay at sa kanyang minamahal ay totoo namang isang napakasakit na pangyayari at yugto sa mga buhay ng mga magulang nitong dalawa. Hiling ko na ang kasong ito ay magsasara ng may aral na kalakip sa lahat.

Sa totoo lang, hindi naging maganda ang epekto ng panonood ko sa video nila. Araw araw ko naiiisip ang hirap at sakit na pinagdaanan nila na humantong sa isang napakalungkot na pangyayari. Marahil isa itong naguumapaw na awa sa kanilang sinapit. Hindi ko man buong nalalaman ang sitwasyon nilang dalawa, dinala ako ng pangyayaring ito sa pag-iisip ng aking mga karanasan sa pag-ibig.

Sa aking murang edad na anim na taon, naranasan ko ang magkagusto sa aking kalaro. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko noon. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang aking kagustuhan na lagi siyang nakikita. Ngunit sa panonood ng TV at pakikiramdam sa kapaligiran, nalaman ko na ito'y mali, at walang sinuman ang dapat makaalam. Dumating ang ilang pang taon, nalaman ko na ako'y iba sa normal. Naging tampulan ng tuksuhan ng mga kaklase at kaibigan. Alam ko na ako'y bakla.

Nang nalaman ko na labing-tatlo lang ang isa sa mga namatay, naisip ko ang panahon na ako'y nasa first year high school. Ito ang panahon na ako'y sigurado na sa aking kasarian. Sa panahong ito, natuto ako makipagkaibigan sa maraming kaedad. Isang barkada ang aking nasumpungan. Masaya ako na ako'y kanilang tanggap. Ito rin ang panahon na gusto kong kumawala sa paningin ng aking mga magulang. Batid ko nun na malaya akong mag-isip sa sarili. Alam ko ang gusto ko noon.

Sa panahong yaon, isang biyaya ang magkaroon ng ka-grupo. Isang napakalaking tulong na makausap ang mga taong naiintindihan ka sa iyong pinagdaraan. Hindi pa nauuso ang internet noon, kaya ang pakikipag-usap ay nasesentro sa personal na pamamaraan. Batid mong ika'y hindi nag-iisa sa pagsubok na nakatanikala.

Sa panahong ito, natuto ako magmahal sa sarili. Nabatid ko na ako'y importante. Natuto ako maging mabuting kaibigan. Natuto ako makinig sa iba, at matuto sa kanilang karanasan at problema. Masaya ang mga panahon na iyon kahit na ang pamumuhay ng aming pamilya ay hikahos. Sagana naman ako sa atensiyon at pagmamahal.

Walang sinuman ang may karapatan na humusga sa mga pinagdaanan ninuman, lalong lalo na sa dalawang batang biktima. Ang pangyayaring iyon ay isang aral hindi lamang sa magulang, kundi pati na rin sa mga anak.

Madali na lang sa panahon ngayon maniwala sa iba't ibang bagay na dala ng internet. Ngunit hindi matatawaran ang aral ng mga magulang. Hindi sa sinasabi kong maging mahigpit ang mga ama at ina, bagkus, marahil ay marapat na busugin ng atensiyon at gabay ang mga kabataan higit sa panahon ngayon. Sa mga kaibigan at kabarkada, tibayan ang pagkakaibigan at magbigay ng panahon sa pakikinig sa iba. Huwag mong hayaan mapahamak at magisip ng masama ang kaibigan mo.

At sa mga kabataan ngayon, magmahal kayo ng ayon sa nararapat. Higit kailanman, ang pagmamahal sa Diyos ay una sa listahan. Napakasarap mabuhay lalo na kung nabubuhay ka na may pangarap. Magdasal at ibigin mo ang Panginoon na nagbibigay sa iyo ng biyaya. Mahalin mo ang magulang mo. Marami na silang pinagdaanan. Matuto ka sa mga sinasabi nila. Huwag mong paliitin ang mundo dahil sa iyong kasintahan, bagkus, gawin mo siyang inspirasyon para sa isang buhay na mas maunlad. Hindi natatapos ang mundo sa iisang tao lamang. Ginawa ka ng Panginoon para magsilbi sa kapwa. Gamitin mo ang talento at kakayahang ibinigay sa iyo. At kung hindi ka man magtagumpay, isipin mo na hindi ito balakid para hindi magmamahal muli.

Tayo lahat ay babalik sa Panginoong Maykapal, mas maganda bumalik sa Ama na may masasabi kang nagmahal ka sa buhay na iyong tinanggap at sa mga buhay na Kaniyang nilikha...

Symptoms Part 2

2011-10-16T19:12:00.000+08:00

If you are wondering about part 1, please read prior post to this.

In my previous career, I’ve been through a lot of interviews. I’ve been interviewed and I interviewed people too. It’s one tough activity. It’s a test of all sorts for the following; patience, intelligence, communication skills and ultimately honesty. It’s a test to validate things about you, your experience, your guts and your talents. It’s a way to know if you are speaking to a person of credibility and integrity. Those are big words that require big discernment done through a person’s choice of words and his ability to convey lucid and valid thoughts. It can be subjective based on the interviewer’s preference, but that topic is a different story, altogether.

I enjoy reading interviews but more in seeing it done on TV. Ricky Lo’s Funfare is one great example. I love Boy Abunda’s Bottomline too.

In movies, I love interview scenes with a psychiatrist. Have you seen the movie, The Fourth Kind? I wonder how it is being interviewed with a psychiatrist. Sometimes I imagine myself being subjected to hypnosis.

For now, I’d just like to interview myself. Just so you know, I do talk to myself sometimes. You see lately I’ve been into profound thinking, contemplation and the likes. I meditate before going to sleep, all in the hopes to find myself and get to the bottom of my worries. I’d like to learn more about me. So today, I’ll try to interview myself. Emel, (my childhood nickname) will interview Leo, yours truly.

Emel: Hey, great to see you Leo. How are you feeling today?

Leo: I’m ok. Today has been a weird day. I’ve been to several places without taking a bath. I was tweeting with some friends and I was told that it isn’t obvious that I didn’t take a bath. When I was a kid, I was lazy to take a bath. When I turned 7 and entered first grade, hygiene became important. When I started working, it still was important. That was the past. Today is the present. So I almost did not take a bath today.

Emel: Wow, so what triggered you now to take a bath?

Leo: I don’t know. But I think it’s the pattern in life you become accustomed to. The day wasn’t complete without shampooing my hair, lathering soap suds in my skin and rinsing off with cold water.

Emel: I read your past posts and I find you writing serious stuff about government and workplace. Why?

Leo: It was random. I never planned it. I just thought of writing something relevant to the news I’m seeing and I got inspired from an office mate.

Emel: I see. What have you been seeing in the news?

Leo: Rampant corruption, poor urban management resulting to floods, crime and KC Concepcion’s get-away to France.

Emel: It appears that you’ve been seeing a lot of negative news nowadays. Has this affected you, your relationship and your family?

Leo: Hmmm, I don’t think so. News has always been negative. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be reported. Any news that are positive in nature has its own natural way of emitting negative waves. Going back to your question, it so well affected some of my goals.

Emel: Like?

Leo: Well, one, I thought of the news as something that strengthen my aspirations for a better life. It can be here in the Philippines or somewhere else. It’s an inspiration to better myself.

Emel: Hmmm, I heard you have plans of migrating somewhere?

Leo: It is still a plan. All I know is that I want better life, have my own family, get married and raise my kids to a peace-loving and progressive society.

Emel: That sounds cool. So how are things going with you and Nimmy?

Leo: Nimmy has been my anchor. I couldn’t imagine myself going through these struggles in life without him. He inspires and loves me so much. We see each other every Saturday. We go malling, badminton and sometimes have coffee together. It’s great being with him. I love our conversations and the way we plan our lives together. Sometimes we argue, however it rarely happens like 1 in 3745 interactions. Our relationship has been known to many, but the thing is, we get to have most of the things for ourselves. We have so many cherished moments together, but I’d rather not say it all.

Emel: Ok, I understand. How true that you are missing living-in with Nimmy?

Leo: Yes, a lot. I most of the time talk about this with Nimmy. I always catch myself thinking about our previous set-up. It was the best time of my life so far.

Emel: Do you guys have future plans of sharing under one roof again?

Leo: Yes, we have plans. It can happen soon.

Emel: So how are you and your job hunting? How’s the business going?

Leo: There was a point last June that I got so depressed and deactivated almost all of my social networking sites for not having a job. It was not the best thing to do, and it was coward. Once, I felt that applying for a job and failing was becoming a cycle. It was depressing, Emel. I felt worthless really. On the sidelines, I tend to have more time to study business concepts. Initially, I felt it was joke to manage my father’s agricultural land. Agri-business is not my cup of tea. Seeing my small wins, I feel more that I was dodging a bullet, not only for myself but also for my family. I still don’t want to settle. I still would want not only to see the business picking-up, but also to fulfill my desire to grow professionally. After all, it would not hurt to earn from business and at the same time from employment. It’s like having two jobs. How cool is that?

Emel: That’s sad to hear but I’m glad that you get to do something while waiting. Are you ok?

Leo: I think I am. I chose not to dwell much on it. I said it too much to myself, but I mean it now. I’m keeping my faith.

Emel: How does this experience change you?

Leo: It made me talk to God more than ever. I become more prayerful. I become more hopeful for a better life. Prayer keeps me sane. It helps me create good decisions and it helps me accept things coming my way. I become more positive in dealing with life.

Emel: Was there a time you felt God is not answering you?

Leo: I still worry sometimes. I’m still anxious about what will happen to my future. I don’t know what will happen next, and I feel that my current situation is not helping me. There were moments I feel helpless. So to answer your question, I say yes. But I believe that God’s delayed answer is not God’s denial. Just because it’s not happening, it’s not going to happen. I feel that God will give to people what they ask for, but in His own time. If it is taking longer, then He is creating the perfect situation.

Emel: Wow, you’ve really said it right. Indeed, with God, nothing is impossible.

Leo: That’s true. You don’t need to worry. Strong faith really matters on these hard and trying times.

Emel: Your birthday will be this coming Thursday, the 20^th. What is your birthday wish?

Leo: Health for me and Nimmy.

Emel: You are turning 31. Do you believe you have matured enough for your age?

Leo: I don’t think there’s a measure of maturity for any age. I just know that whatever you do, as long as you’re not encroaching on anybody’s right, you’re good. To add, God doesn’t judge us based on age.

Emel: Haha. I couldn’t agree more. So how do you feel now?

Leo: I realized after doing this makes me feel stupid talking to myself. But I enjoyed it, really. Thank you.

Emel: You’re always welcome. Should you wish to talk to someone, you know where to see me.

Leo: Nah, I think I’m good.

Emel: Any final message?

Leo: To myself, you're one hell of a guy. You're handsome and kind. Keep being crazy, but do not cross the abnormal kind of way. Enjoy what you are doing best and the rest will follow. God loves you.