Finding My Weigh

The Day I Talked to the Premier of BC About Breasts

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Mon, 21 May 2012 03:57:00 +0000

Premier Christy Clark with Vancouver mom bloggers

Yes. I asked the Premier of British Columbia about breasts. Well, breast cancer actually. To be even more specific - breast cancer screening.

I was recently invited to participate in a mom blogger round table discussion with the Honourable Christy Clark, Premier of BC. I felt extremely lucky to be included, and thank Christine at VancouverMom.ca for passing my name along.

I understand that this is the first time a Premier of BC has ever reached out to bloggers in this way, and I would be surprised if ANY Premier from across Canada had done this before. Given the current government's pillar of Families First, it was a good move. A risky one, because we bloggers can be fairly vocal (!), but a good move nonetheless.

The session was hosted by Director of Outreach Pamela Martin, and both she and Premier Clark took notes throughout. The first topic raised was the idea of a business-starter loan or grants program for parent entrepreneurs. That was quickly followed by a discussion on childcare, with cost of care being one of the main reasons parents opt to become entrepreneurs in the first place.

The cost of bridge tolls was also brought up, and I thought Premier Clark handled the topic extremely well, speaking eloquently with passion and conviction. She gave her opinion that the daily time saved by the new bridges and routes was worth the average $3.00 cost. An hour more per day at home with your family - what price would you put on that?

I knew all the standard parenting topics were covered by my counterparts, so I chose to ask a question that was important to me as a woman bearing down on the age of 40. A bit of background - last November a set of guidelines, or recommendations, were published by the Canadian Task Force on Preventative Health on the topic of breast cancer detection. These included NOT recommending mammograms for women between 40 and 49, NOT performing self-checks, and NOT having a health care provider do an annual clinical breast exam. I'm really not sure what option they're leaving for women 40-49 to potentially detect a lump, unless they just expect them to wait until it's visible?

Currently, in BC, women 40-79 can have a free regular mammogram without a doctor's referral. We are considered the gold standard in Canada, and have the highest five-year survival rate (91.8%) of any province across the country. Mortality rates are decreasing, and this is attributed to, among other things, established screening programs. Provincial governments are taking the Task Force's guidelines under consideration, and BC has yet to reach a decision as to whether or not they will implement the new recommendations.

I figured this was the time to ask Premier Clark - would the government ever actually consider taking AWAY the eligibility of women 40 to 49 to access screening mammography? Would they ever even entertain the notion of introducing regulations that could reduce our "gold standard" rating and potentially put women's lives at risk?

The answer was absolutely beautiful: "Not on my watch!" replied Premier Christy Clark. "Not on my watch!"

Now, I know we were just a group of people in a room having a discussion and there was nothing official about it, but the idealist in me likes to think that maybe, just maybe, Premier Clark will remember that comment. And maybe, just maybe, she'll be in a position to make good on the statement.

It will be interesting to see how they continue to stay in touch with us, and whether or not any developments arise as a result of our discussion. Time will tell. Whatever happens, I am grateful that I was included.

Review: Swiss Natural Calcium Soft Chews

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Fri, 18 May 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Three words. Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

Given my weight loss journey and my ongoing challenge resisting all things chocolate, let's just say my interest was peaked when I was asked to review Swiss Natural's Calcium Soft Chews in Chocolate Fudge Brownie.

But I was nervous. This lovely resealable bag of delectable little chocolate chews arrived and I thought to myself, "Okay, these must be really high in calories. How can I justify a whole Weight Watchers point just to get my daily calcium?"

They're 15 calories, folks. Just 15 calories. And they are delicious. Now, the old me may have devoured the entire bag in the pursuit of strong bones and teeth, but the new me is happy to enjoy one or two delectable morsels with my morning array of vitamins.

They are awesome.

Since the little miss was born I have noticed my nails are weaker than they were before, and that's truly not saying much. I have made a concerted effort to take a calcium supplement every day to help improve things, and it is making a difference.

The recommended dietary daily allowance for calcium is 1000mg for people 19-50 years of age. (And the maximum tolerable amount is 2500mg, which helps deter me from eating more than the suggested 1-2 chews per day.) The chews are 600mg each, with 400 IU of Vitamin D thrown in for good measure.

On a side note, did you know that taking 1000 IU of Vitamin D daily can reduce your risk of developing breast cancer? (Sorry, there's my day job poking in!)

Here's the skinny on calcium:

Calcium is involved in regulating blood pressure as well as building strong bones and teeth.
Calcium is essential for muscle contraction, heart and nerve function.
99% of the body's calcium is stored in the bones and teeth.
Calcium helps to prevent osteoporosis.

Right now I have no big, looming concern about osteoporosis, but one day I might. And I would WAY rather be relieved I'd taken calcium supplements for years and reduced my risk, than finding out at the age of 65 that there was something I could have done.

Swiss Natural is a 100% Canadian owned company, which is always cool. The calcium chews retail for between $9.99 and $11.99 for the 60 chew size.

So, Dr. Gillian (I'm not a real doctor, but go with me) says: Take your calcium. Take your Vitamin D. And if you can take them both wrapped up in a delicious little chocolate treat, why the heck wouldn't you?!

My Poop in a Box

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Thu, 17 May 2012 23:45:00 +0000

Okay, so not exactly MY poop. It was the little man's poop. But in an effort to pay homage to Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg, I stayed true to the phrasing.

We thought we were done. He'd finally mastered the art of using the toilet. Wiping, no, but that's a whole other siutation which I won't worry about right now. Nobody takes their mom to college with them because they can't wipe their own bum, right?

About a month ago, the little man went crazy. That is truly the only explanation I can come up with. A week before his fifth birthday, he got up from the living room floor, said "I'll be right back" and went into his room and closed the door. Now, a year ago this would have been cause for alarm as this would SURELY have meant he was in there dropping a trouser bomb, but we were past that. We were confident in his newfound skills and knew we were in a poop-free situation.

Or so we thought.

A few minutes later we heard the little man giggling and jumping up and down. Mr. Awesome went to his room to investigate what was happening, and I have never heard the tone that errupted from him seconds later. It was a mixture of anger, disgust, disbelief, shock...and then an eery calm, followed by silence.

Because what do you say when your almost five year old son takes off his pants, empties a cardboard box, crouches over the box and POOS? And then proceeds to check out the poo and wind up smearing it on the carpet and closet doors?

You say nothing. Because rage and despair have stolen your voice.

This incident was followed by another, where he made "a nest" of toilet paper on the floor in the bathroom and made a deposit, and several other times where he figured the best place to have a pee was in the corner of his bedroom.

Needless to say, all the Lego he'd been rewarded for his toilet achievements was promptly removed. I am happy (and relieved) to note that this phase has now passed and we are back to putting "things" where they should go, but it really shook my understanding of the child psyche. He got his Lego back and we're all good again...for now.

Parenthood. It gets you every time. Just when you think you've mastered one phase and finally moved on to greener pastures, your kid poos in a box.

I Won't Raise a Man Cold

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:58:00 +0000

When the little man was about six months old, we began our first experience with sleep training. He quickly learned to soothe himself and all was good.

Until he got a cold.

I have heard from a few moms, "Everything's fine until they get a cold." This was certainly true for us. We began a slow year-long decline into what eventually became a family nightmare. Hourly wake-ups, screaming, no sleep for us, fighting...it was awful. And then at the peak of it all we had house guests sleeping in the room next to his, so it got worse as we were jumping at every noise so as not to disturb them.

The day they left, when we was about 20 months old, we began our second round of sleep training. Three days in and we were good as new.

And then, as some of you will know, we had a terrible, awful, mind-numbing setback a couple of months ago. Things are actually somewhat manageable now, and with a few "new normals" such as his door having to be halfway open and his Ikea moon light having to be on all night, we're coping. The wake-ups are less frequent, the screaming is rare, and the fear and anxiety seem to have gone away.

So now he has a cold. And not just any cold. This is a green monster, complete with the worst cough I have ever heard in his four and a half years.

Kids love boundaries, they thrive on guidelines and rules. But give them an inch and they'll take a mile. They're always testing, checking to see if the boundaries still stand. Consistency is the key, and in the long run it's better for everyone.

But what do you do when your little man is hacking up his lungs, streaming out of several orifices, and generally feeling yucky?

You love him. You care for him. You help him blow his nose. You keep him home from preschool. You rub Vicks Vaporub on his chest and back at bedtime.

And you stick to the routine.

With the hell that we've just come through (and are still dealing with), we will not go back. The bedtime routine holds strong, with the occasional application of Vicks thrown in. The responses to his wake-ups are the same.

And it's working. The cold has not impacted the progress, and we're moving ahead. We could have coddled him and opted to sleep in his bed with him to comfort him through the night, but then we would be right back in the sleep-deprived nightmare that nearly drove me to a breakdown. That simply cannot happen.

Mr. Awesome, when he does occasionally get sick, is the exact OPPOSITE of a Man Cold. He will even say "I'm dot thick" in the stuffed up effort to prove he's just fine. He believes so strongly in mind over matter that when, on the rare occasion he actually admits to feeling rough, I'm convinced he's dying.

I look at the husbands of my friends and colleagues and listen to the stories of their whimpering and snuffling. They have Man Cold written all over them.

I believe that every parent has the right to raise their children how they see fit, as long as they are not endangering their health or safety. And I believe that what we're doing now is the best thing for our family and for the little man. He's powering through this bug and he's doing fine.

The world does not need another Man Cold.

Hello Kitty, Goodbye Diapers

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 23:49:00 +0000

We decided some time ago that we would not potty train the little miss. Like, ever. We quite simply did not want to fail as epically as we had with the little man. A year and a half of absolute hell had scarred us to the point of letting her wear diapers forever rather than start the nightmare all over again.

Even at fourteen months when she started using the toilet on a semi-regular basis, we resisted. I didn't even write about it here because if I ignored it then it wasn't real. It was too early, we didn't want to push it. She was pooping on the potty long before the little man, but we were too mired in the dark, bribery-riddled place of Legos for poops to actually admit it. The closest we came was moving her from diapers to Pull-Ups, to make her frequent potty trips more convenient.

She wouldn't even use the potty, preferring the actual toilet for her business. And despite our only taking her when she announced it, she was still averaging about a 75% success rate. People would ask if we were training her and we would either avoid the question or flatly say "No." We would just take her when she said she had to go. But potty training? Never.

Last week her preschool teacher asked if we wanted to start, as apparently any time they asked the kids who were potty training if they had to go she would squeal with glee and do anything she could to join them. Our little girl was basically begging for it, wanting desperately to be part of that toilet-using elite.

The time had come and we couldn't ignore it anymore. We agreed that we would start potty training the following Monday, but on Friday morning our little lady announced that she wanted to wear panties. So there you go.

Now the little man actually mastered peeing LONG before the other business got sorted out, so I had kind of forgotten those messy first few days. Four sets of wet pants later and I decided to brave a trip to Walmart. Crazy? You bet. But it was fine. We even bought her a few sets of Hello Kitty underpants to sweeten the pot, but I was confident in the power of the Dora the Explorer pair she was wearing. I mean, how could you pee on Dora?

It was only on a stop at the library on our way home that my cockiness caught up with me. Now, I'm not a complete idiot. I did have a change of her clothes with me. But being out of practice with the wet pants scenario, I did neglect to pack an extra pair of socks. Or a plastic bag to put the wet clothes in. Rookie move. Serious rookie move.

That was last week. And we're pretty much done. A few accidents here and there, but basically done. Thank you God, Hello Kitty or whatever power you choose to pray to. And you can hate me all you want, but I invite you to read ANY of my previous posts to know that this is truly some sort of divine intervention and someone up there is paying us back for the trauma we endured for almost two years.

We're still in diapers for bedtime, whereas the little man stayed dry through the night from early on. It really does go to show you that every kid is different and you just never know. I can't even bear to think how many trouser bombs we could have avoided if we had let the little man do things in his own time. We were first-time parents and eager to get started, and well...you know how that turned out. Maybe not even in his own time, as he could very well be in diapers til this day, but just a little longer.

Hindsight is 20/20. And I can "what if" and "if only" with the best of them, but for now I will just be happy to be done with potty training, once and for all.

Now if we could just find the magic answer for the little man's sleep issues.

It's always something.

The Good, The Bad, and The Depths of Hell

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:46:00 +0000

Wow, three months since my last post. It feels like a year since I had a moment or the brain power to actually sit here and start typing. We are in the midst of what I can honestly say is the hardest phase of parenthood we have been through to date. And I thought potty training was a difficult phase. I would trade a trouser bomb any day for the knowledge that we were heading into a good night's sleep.

A quick update for anyone that has followed our saga de poop: Potty training the little man is as complete as we are going to get until he learns to wipe his own butt and actually aim, but we'll take what we can get. We are now the proud owners of an EXTENSIVE Lego collection, but it was worth every brightly coloured block to find a reward system that actually worked.

That is the "good" part of this post. The "bad" and the "depths of hell" are all kind of rolled into one with the update to come.

Right around the beginning of December, the little man started to get anxious about bedtime. It escalated pretty quickly, mixed together with some nightmares about horses and some very tired parents.

Since we went through sleep training three years ago, he's been a champion. He has gone to bed with no issues, slept through the night except for the occasional night terror, and although he's always been an early riser, it's been fine. Now all of a sudden he won't go to sleep if we're not in the room, and he wakes constantly throughout the night and freaks out if we're not there, or runs into our room screaming. He then won't go to sleep again unless we're with him. Every single night.

It started out as fear, then anxiety, and lately it's become a power struggle, pure and simple. The fear is gone because we actually talked to the imaginary horses, gave them names, and asked them to leave. We're still working through the anxiety, but at some point the getting up and screaming became more habit than anything else.

It's killing us.

Well, to be more accurate, it's killing me. Mr. Awesome has absolutely proven his moniker throughout this time, and especially this past week. I was literally falling apart. I do not do well with little, or frequently interrupted sleep. I was a basket case most of the time, flipping between sobbing and a numbness that felt like the precipice of depression.

On Monday of last week we went to our doctor and he told us to back to sleep training. We didn't really know that you could do that with a four and a half year old, but after some exhaustive (pun intended) searches online and a re-read of our original sleep training book, we decided to give it a go.

Because I was past the point of coping, Mr. Awesome gave me earplugs and told me to go to bed, saying he would take the first night. This had more meaning to me than any bouquet of flowers - that was pure LOVE, baby. And he took the next few nights too, working through the repetition of going in at regular intervals and letting the little man know everything was okay and that it was time to be asleep.

It is not easy. Last time it took three nights and we were done. A four and a half year old is a lot different than an 18 month old. (Duh.) The last time we went through this he was in a CRIB, for Pete's sake. He's constantly getting out of bed, turning on his light, saying he needs to go to the bathroom, anything and everything to avoid going to bed without us in the room.

Last night was night #5 and we're still not seeing a very bright light at the end of the tunnel. Mr. Awesome went camping last night with friends so it was all me. I was dreading it. It wasn't great and I did leave the TV on all night so the little man would think I was on the couch, but it was definitely better. Marginally.

Mr. Awesome will hate the electricity bills, but that just might be the price of a rested child and wife. You find what works best for your family and roll with it, right?

Giving Thanks for Poop: Potty Training Progress

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 15:08:00 +0000

It's Thanksgiving in Canada and I am thankful for all the blessings in my life. But most of all, today, I am thankful for poop.

As I type, the little man is in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet.

That's right friends, we have achieved the impossible. The unimaginable. The dream of all potty-training-challenged parents everywhere. The little man is pooping on the potty.

After one year and nine months of pants bombs, trouser grenades, Code Browns and poop-splosions, we are now on day four of toilet poops.

If the past year and nine months has taught me anything, it's to not get my hopes up. I am taking this day by day and not assuming that the accidents are behind us forever, but holy mother of GOD does this feel good.

There have been a couple of steps forward and many steps back in the last month, but it started to finally feel like we were doing something right. We had a visit with the pediatrician a few months ago and explained the hell we were living (not in quite those words), and he "prescribed" a six month course of not talking about poop. Now, for anyone that's been reading this blog for a while now, you know that that's virtually impossible for me. And his advice wasn't to necessarily banish the topic, but to just not make it a big deal. If accidents happened, clean them up and move on. And we were to not spend any length of time discussing the situation, either with the little man, each other or anyone else.

While this did not magically end the messes, it did lift the stress right off. Our home became more relaxed and everyone involved got happier. Now, patience has never been one of my virtues, so it won't be a surprise to anyone that we didn't wait the FULL six months. But we followed the cues the little man gave us, and we started a whole new plan.

We were at Costco one day (imagine that) and found a set of interactive books called Ready to Read. Kind of like LeapFrog, this set comes with a "pen" that reads the coding on the pages and plays words, songs, stories, etc. Some of the books are more advanced, so those went up on the shelf. These became our potty books. They could only be read while sitting on the toilet. Pretty soon he wanted to sit on the toilet all the time, as he loved them so much. He wasn't actually trying to go, but it was a HUGE step forward from where we'd been.

At the same time we instituted a reward chart. Our initial challenge was that for months he had absolutely refused to sit on the toilet. He would lose his mind if we even suggested it, so at first the reward stickers were for sitting. For every five stickers he would get a (small) Lego set.

We very quickly realized we were going to go broke fast with the current system. Mr. Awesome is a bit of a Lego-fiend, so he wasn't terribly upset that we were amassing a large amount of the stuff, but the stickers became for actually trying. And over the past month or so, there have been a few successes. Sort of a "one step forward, two steps back" situation, but still progress where none had been.

Then, four days ago, just before bed, the little man said "I think I have to go poop." In he went, sat himself down, and started his reading. Then something changed. He got a look of concentration on his face that we hadn't seen before. And he did it. Because it was just before bed we all happened to be in the bathroom at the time, and man, did we celebrate. I was on the verge of hysteria, almost in tears, laughing and screaming for joy. Mr. Awesome kept saying things like "Dude, that's awesome!" and "Buddy, that's fantastic! I'm so proud of you!" And the little man loved every minute of it. He was laughing and loving our impromptu "potty party," so very proud of himself.

It was like a switch needed to be flicked and he finally "got it." I equate it with the moment I finally KNEW what I had to do to succeed with Weight Watchers. True and lasting success only comes when one is really ready for it. No one can make that happen for you. And just like a weight loss journey, there may be setbacks.

Like I said earlier, we're on day four. Four days of telling us he had to go, sitting on the toilet and actually going. And I'm good with that.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and thanks be to poop.

Splash'N Boots: A Review & Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 14:11:00 +0000

You should all know by now that my kids watch TV. And it's usually Treehouse.

For those of you that don't know, Treehouse TV is the parent's saviour. It allows me to make a cup of tea, eat breakfast, and sometimes even cook an entire dinner in moderate peace. Shows ranging from 5 minutes to half an hour, with all the kids' favourites - Dora, Franklin, Thomas, In the Night Garden, Yo Gabba Gabba, the Backyardigans...and of course, Roll Play.

The other great thing about Treehouse TV is that they often have one of their shows on tour with Treehouse LIVE. We got to see Yo Gabba Gabba last year and it was awesome. Now we're always on the lookout for which shows are coming live to Vancouver.

Two members of the Treehouse family that I hadn't discovered yet were the children's performers, Splash'N Boots. (Splash is the guy, Boots is the girl, and I only WISH I was cool enough to rock the full-length Converse boots she wears.) They've recently landed a four year national contract on Treehouse TV for their music video "For the Love of Dance", so you can expect to see them in your living rooms soon.

Splash'N Boots are also about to embark on an 11-city tour with Treehouse LIVE entitled "Roll Play Live Animal Party" from October 12 -- November 13. I was disappointed to see the duo weren't making their way west of the Rockies, or actually even west of Saskatchewan, as this looks like a show my kids would absolutely love. You can see the whole tour schedule and buy tickets at www.rollplaylive.ca.

The tour is supported by the Heart and Stroke Foundation as it promotes imaginative movement -- the whole audience will be up on their feet, and will record a song with the band that will be available for free download! And did I mention they will be painted in black light?!

Splash'N Boots just released their second full-length DVD, "Act 2," and I got the chance to check it out. It is awesome. I'm always on the lookout for kids' music and entertainers that don't make me feel like my eardrums are bleeding after the 83rd listening. The music of Splash'N Boots is catchy, musical, their voices sound like real human beings and they are FUN. The have music videos, do silly characters, and dance non-stop. The second I turned it on my kids were transfixed and they are already singing along after one a couple of times. I totally recommend it, and you can get your own copy at www.splashnboots.com.

Or...you could win it! To celebrate the tour and their new DVD, I get to give away some prizes! One lucky reader will win a copy of the Roll Play DVD and CD, and Splash'N Boots' new DVD, "ACT 2."

AND...I will also draw from the entries for tickets to the RollPlayLIVE show! The winner will have select from the following cities:

Winnipeg - October 15
Prince Albert - October 17
Regina - October 19
Saskatoon - October 20
Kitchener - November 7
Hamilton - November 8
London - November 9
Mississauga - November 10
Toronto - November 13

Here’s how to enter to win:

Like Finding My Weigh on Facebook

Leave a comment on this post about your favourite kids' entertainment or Treehouse TV program (1 entry). Make sure to include your city if you want to be entered to win the RollPlayLIVE tickets.

Increase your chances! You can get an extra entry by posting the following on Twitter (1 entry): I just entered to win a @splashnboots & @RollPlayLive prize pack from @findingmyweigh! http://bit.ly/oskXHC

I will draw one winner at random from all entries received (both tweets and comments on this post) on Friday, October 14, 2011 at 9:00am.

Healthy Families BC & a Lululemon Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 14:19:00 +0000

It seems counter-intuitive. Summer should be an easy time to get out and get active, but without the routine of the school year (yes, even preschool) and scheduled activities, I've actually found it quite a challenge this year to figure out when to work out. Mr. Awesome's hectic travel schedule compounds the issue somewhat, so I'm grabbing opportunities when they come along.

If I just have the little miss it's a bit easier, as I can still go out with her in the stroller and get in a good power walk. The little man makes exercise a little more challenging. He refuses to ride a bike and a walk with him in tow isn't exactly strenuous.

Even though the summer weather is beautiful, I do find it easier to plan our activities during the school year. Maybe summer just has too much freedom - tentative plans to go swimming get put off til the next day because ALL the days are nice, and then end up not happening. The kids still get their running around time in the back yard, but we're not getting out and doing things as a family. Fall and winter bring swimming lessons, preschool and then SNOW!

Last New Year's Eve we went snowshoeing with the kids in backpacks. What a change from two years ago. Mr. Awesome has always been an active guy, but until I started my weight loss journey I wouldn't have classified us an active family. Now that I'm not carrying around that 70lbs and I have discovered my love of keeping active and working out, we do a lot more. I used to shy away from plans that might involve a lot of activity, as my back would get sore, my breath would get short and it just wasn't a good time.

Now it's a whole new world! (But hopefully this year the little man can manage on his own because he's nearing 40lbs and that is a lot of weight to carry through the snow, even for the great Mr. Awesome.) I hope to get a lot more snowshoeing in because that was a great workout.

Healthy Families BC, an initiative from the Province of British Columbia, recently launched a campaign to promote health and wellness in BC families.

Healthy Families is a readily accessible resource to help families eat healthy and live well. This online community which is hosted on the Healthy Families website, blog, Twitter (@healthyfamilybc) and Facebook Page helps BC citizens make informed and positive lifestyle choices.

Healthy Families BC offers everything from inspiring recipes and information on snacks for children to updates on local community based health programs.

GIVEAWAY!

To help raise awareness for this campaign and to encourage BC families to get active, Healthy Families BC has given me a $250 Lululemon gift card to give away one of my readers so they can get active in style!

Here’s how to enter to win:

Like Healthy Families BC on Facebook

Leave a comment on this post about how you and your family keep active during the school year. Lessons, sports teams, etc. (1 entry)

Post the following on Twitter (1 entry):

I entered to win a $250 Lululemon gift card from @HealthyFamilyBC & @findingmyweigh! http://bit.ly/nFzaHt

I will draw one winner at random from all entries received (both tweets and comments on this post) next Sunday, September 11, 2011 at 9:00am. The contest is open to all residents of BC.

Good luck, and get active!

No more games: Losing and Winning with Weight Watchers

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Being a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers is a huge achievement. One you reach this milestone you only have to weigh in once a month, and as long as you stay with your two pound window (2lbs above or below your goal weight), you don't have the pay the fee.

For about the past four months, I've been playing a little game with myself. I weigh in at home a few days before my scheduled weigh in day, and then if the scale is a bit on the high side I delay the weigh in to the following week. It's a game I've been "winning," until now.

And winning is of course a poor choice of words, as this is not the behaviour I spent a year learning and living. If I was making the right choices every day, then it wouldn't even be an issue.

You also have to pay the fee if you miss a month's weigh in, so being the last weekend in August I HAD to weigh in. (You also get a star sticker for every month you weigh in and I'll be damned if I'm not going to get my star!)

I was 0.8lbs outside my "window," which means I'm actually 2.8lbs above my goal weight. Last month I was lower than goal, so this month I faced a 3.5lb gain. OUCH.

No more games, no more playing the system. I'm going to track, and I'm going to be MINDFUL. I've kind of been kidding myself the last few months, and while I haven't entirely gone off the rails, I certainly haven't been as mindful of what I've been eating. Conscious yes, mindful no.

Three key actions that have likely led me here:

Not bringing my lunch enough at work, so I simply HAVE to go have sushi.
Finishing off what the kids leave on their plates - never a lot, but every little bit counts. I never did this while I was losing weight.

And...
Fruit. As some of you will know, I am NOT following the PointsPlus system, so fruit is NOT zero points. But there have been so many lovely blueberries, cherries, peaches, strawberries, nectarines...the list goes on and I LOVE fruit.

So. No more games. And even though I won't be playing, I'll still be winning. But not Charlie Sheen winning.

September weigh in, here I come.

Saying Goodbye to Caillou

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:21:00 +0000

First off, I have to say that yes, our kids watch TV. Gasp!

Judge me if you will, but when the little man wakes up at 5:30am, sometimes it's the best thing in the world to turn on the giant lightbox and bring to life the wonderful worlds of Netflix or Treehouse.

We've got a pretty steady rotation of Dora, Diego, Max and Ruby, and then the character in question today - Caillou.

At first glance, Caillou is awesome. He's a big brother to a little sister, he does all the activities our little man does, he's potty trained (I wish), and their family situations seem pretty realistic. TOO realistic. Therein lies the problem.

We worry about all the bad words and concepts the little man might pick up at preschool, but we always thought young children's programming was fairly innocuous.

Then "Grumpy Caillou" came to our house. One day our little man crossed his arms and came out with a full on pout, refusing to eat his dinner. We couldn't figure out where he'd learned this, as it's summer vacation and none of the kids we've played with in the last few months do this. A few days later we were watching Caillou and lo and behold, Caillou does the exact same thing. We started calling our little man "Grumpy Caillou" every time it happened, and joking about it until he gave up the pout and agreed to whatever we were asking.

Grumpy Caillou eventually went away and life went on. We've been trying pretty hard to clean up our language over the last year or so - not that we're potty mouths, but there are definitely certain expressions we've needed to curb. The little man has tried out a few of them and we've learned very quickly just what a sponge he is.

Then he started experimenting with the word HATE. Now, we may use that word now and then, but it's not really a regular visitor to our home. I do know that he'd picked it up from my mum one day while playing at her house, because I heard her say it about a show they were watching, and he repeated it immediately. He adores his "Nang Nang" and picks up a lot of her language - mostly safe and British-themed. She's under strict instructions now to clean up her act, which is hilarious because she's a very well spoken, polite, lovely lady.

We explained to the little man that hate isn't a nice word, and gently tried to discourage its use. Then Mr. Awesome was watching Caillou with the kids and wouldn't you know - Caillou says it ALL. THE. TIME. It's hard enough to explain that his Nang Nang shouldn't be saying it, but when his favourite TV show is seemingly endorsing it as well it feels like we're getting outnumbered.

Caillou is now off the morning rotation. That bald little bike riding hate-monger is no longer welcome in our home. We're cutting him off now, who KNOWS what slurs he might come out with in future episodes.

And Nang Nang better watch her back.

The Scoop on the Poop

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 23:24:00 +0000

Because I know you've all been sitting around with bated breath, just desperate for an update on the little man's potty training saga, here we are. (For any new readers, you can catch up quickly through such posts as "We Suck at Potty Training, Or Why Pull Ups Should Sponsor Me," "Okay, Seriously. I HATE Potty Training," or "Potty Training #2." They're a thrill a minute.)

Well, seventeen months into potty training he has now pretty much mastered pee. He tells us, or usually just runs in and does his business on his own. Aiming is another story, but we're picking our battles.

As for the P-O-O-P (we spell everything now)...not so much. We're pretty much exactly where we were seventeen months ago, but with a lot more screaming about sitting on the toilet. And I say toilet because he is now too big for the potty. He used to sit to pee but now he stands and, like I said, we're picking our battles...for now.

A couple of weeks ago we had an appointment with a pediatrician to talk about this situation and a couple of other questions. Basically, we wanted to make sure we hadn't done something to scar him for life, ensuring he would remain in Pull Ups for all eternity. We took the doctor through the Awesome history of potty training, through the many trials and tribulations. He was lovely and assured us that nothing was wrong, we were still good parents.

What he did do was "prescribe" six months of not talking about the poop AT ALL. We can talk about the pee and encourage him to go, but when the poop hits the fan we just calmly accept that it's happened, clean it up and move on with your day.

It seems a little too "duh," but it has really made a difference to have that six month time frame. We always felt under the gun before, wondering WHEN it was going to magically start working. Now, it doesn't really matter. Yes, I absolutely hope it happens at some point in the next six months, but we're a lot more relaxed now.

Technically they won't let him attend the coming preschool year if he's not fully potty trained, but as long as we can get him to pee at school I think we'll squeak by unnoticed.

So for now, this is the plan. He's definitely a lot more relaxed about it too, which is a good thing. I feel so ashamed that we were stressing him out through our stress. Poor little guy.

In other news, the little miss has decided to potty train herself. At 20 months old she tells us when she has to go, sits on the potty and does her business. It's only about 75% of the time, but it is AWESOME. We're going through diapers at a fraction of the rate we used to, and she is so proud of herself, asking for high fives every time.

It's just as well that she's taken it upon herself, actually, as we obviously don't know what the heck we're doing.

The Last 5 or 10 Pounds

noreply@blogger.com (Gill) — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 15:30:00 +0000

Over the last ten years or so, up until November 2009 when the little miss was born, I had progressively been getting heavier. I eventually topped out at 230lbs, before getting pregnant.

I never knew what "those last five pounds" meant. I mean, yes, logically I understood the concept, but it was completely foreign to me. It was more like "the last seventy pounds" and once I got going I didn't look back. There was no yo-yo-ing, no backward movement on my journey to my goal.

Until now.

In just 2 weeks it will be one year since the day I reached my goal. Since I returned to work last October it has been getting more and more challenging to get to the gym, and lately my eating habits haven't been what they once were.

Being a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers means you have to weigh in at least once a month, and if you remain within two pounds of your goal weight (plus or minus), you don't have to pay the fee. I have weighed in every single month and thus far have not had to pay.

Every month it's been a bit of a game, watching my at-home scale each week and trying to figure out when to head to a meeting. It's cheating the system, really, and last month I almost didn't go.

This is not who I worked so hard to be. And working hard is really what it's all about. My success really began when I realized that I would have to work hard for the rest of my life to maintain this body. But somewhere along the way I started to slip. I started to resent the hard work.

I love the workouts, that hasn't changed. But finding the time to workout is HARD. Mr. Awesome has been travelling for work a lot over the last six months and we can't afford to pay the sitter for any longer than the time I'm at work. The little man is at an age where exercising when he's around isn't exactly practical. I can still get out for a walk with the little miss in the stroller when he's occupied elsewhere, but those opportunities don't come around very often. And yes, I have attempted my Biggest Loser DVD workouts once the kids are finally in bed, but when they wake me up at 5:30am every day it's pretty much the last thing in the world I have energy for in the evenings.

So now I'm facing the very real possibility that I will reach my one year anniversary and be over my goal weight. I feel awful. It will only be a couple of pounds, but I FEEL awful. I want to feel like I did at my "leanest." I now know what "those last five or ten pounds" means. Far too well.

I've talked to my mum about helping me make the time, coming over to sit with the kids for an hour so I can get to the gym, or hanging with the little man so I can take the stroller and get out for a walk. I've talked to Mr. Awesome about it too, but his travel schedule hasn't allowed to even put a plan in place, let alone start one.

I think this is why I haven't blogged in such a long time. I didn't want to admit that I wasn't managing as well as I had been. But that's ridiculous. People that have gone through a weight loss KNOW it's challenging, and people that are currently working through it need to know they're not alone in the occasional set back. So why would I hide that?

I've just called my mum and she's coming over in a few minutes so I can head out for a walk/jog. It's raining and I'm exhausted, but I'm going.

In 14 days I will reach my one year anniversary and I want to CELEBRATE that milestone.

So off I go.

Potty Training Sucks: My Google Search Story

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 18:08:00 +0000

I discovered Google Search Stories this week. As usual I'm late to the party, but I blame the fact that the original story, "Parisian Love," wasn't aired on the Canadian networks during the Super Bowl.

I decided to create my own, based on what I know best - how NOT to potty train a preschooler. Enjoy.

The Great Leveller

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 16:10:00 +0000

You can be lying in bed, enjoying a lovely morning snuggle with your partner and kids, giggling and chatting about plans for the day. You can feel pretty blissful in the whine-free, loving moment. You start to think, "Wow, maybe we've got this parenting thing figured out." You start to feel pretty good about yourself.

Then your four-year old says to you "Mum, your breath stinks."

Thanks buddy, for bringing me back down to earth.

Hearing With New Ears

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 13:45:00 +0000

I can probably count on both hands the number of full episodes of Oprah I have watched in the last 25 years. I am not exactly a member of the Church or Oprah, but I do think she's a force, an inspiration, a powerhouse, and a wonderful woman who has done some amazing things for individuals and society. I caught MOST of her finale episode, and she said something that really stuck with me. I went and found the transcript, so I could have the exact wording to give it context for this post.

"I've talked to nearly 30,000 people on this show, and all 30,000 had one thing in common: They all wanted validation. If I could reach through this television and sit on your sofa or sit on a stool in your kitchen right now, I would tell you that every single person you will ever meet shares that common desire. They want to know: 'Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything to you?'

"Understanding that one principle, that everybody wants to be heard, has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all these years with the least amount of judgment. Now I can't say I wasn't judging some days. Some days, I had to judge just a little bit. But it's helped me to stand and to try to do that with an open mind and to do it with an open heart. It has worked for this platform, and I guarantee you it will work for yours. Try it with your children, your husband, your wife, your boss, your friends. Validate them. 'I see you. I hear you. And what you say matters to me.'"

It's those last few lines that got to me. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. In the chapter on parenting, she talks about how children really just want to be heard, and that a lot of the whining, tantrums, etc result not from not getting what they want, but from the feeling of not being heard. She goes through experiments on ways of speaking to her kids and notes that while it can be sometimes exhausting to take the extra steps to stop and really listen to your child, it ultimately makes for a happier, less stressful, less frustrating day. I know, it's kind of a "duh" concept when you're not experiencing it, but when you're smack-dab in the middle of a chaotic morning where NOTHING is going right, taking a beat to listen to your whining four year-old can be a very real challenge.

I've started trying it out with the little man. It is bloody exhausting, because I have to consciously remind myself to go against my immediate emotional response, pause and proceed with some statement that clearly acknowledges I have heard him and understand what his concerns are. The idea isn't to become the world's biggest pushover and give in to what kids want all the time, but to simply let them know you've heard them and that what they have to say matters. It's hard to do when you're trying to get two kids out the door on time and someone is refusing to cooperate, but in the grand scheme of things, who really cares if we're five minutes late but my kid is happier? Not me.

At the little man's preschool they ask the kids if they have their listening ears on. It seems to me that at most four year olds have thrown away their listening ears in favour of the "I can't hear you" ear muffs, but it's an appropriate metaphor for this new experiment. If I want him to have his listening ears on, I'd better have mine on too.

So thank you, Oprah, and thank you, Gretchen, for helping me to find my new ears.

Finding Some Happiness

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:45:00 +0000

There are times in your life when a particular movie, book, quote, or person comes along at the exact right moment. Something you read or hear breaks through the chaos of your life and clarifies things, even for a split second.

This happened for me recently as I began to read The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It is the chronicle of her year-long journey to try and add more happiness to her life. She wasn't an unhappy person, but she believed she could be happier and embarked on month by month process, establishing measurable goals in different areas of her life - home, marriage, parenting, work, etc. For January, for example, she made resolutions to go to bed earlier, exercise better, organize her home,etc.

Rubin has developed the "Secrets of Adulthood," a list of seemingly common sense concepts like "You can choose what you do; you can't choose what you LIKE to do," but you don't always think about until someone says them in the exact right way. I'm only up to the month of May right now but already I feel this woman and I should be great friends. Her parenting ideals and frustrations are right in line with mine, so when she refers to a book that she finds helpful and informative, I hop on to Amazon to order it. (I'm currently awaiting my copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk all because Gretchen wrote about it. And because I want to talk so the Little Man will listen.)

There are a number of blog-worthy ideas in this book, and I will likely be writing about it again. Given my current "feeling stalled" situation, this book came at the exact right time. a) It's about finding more happiness and clarity in an already happy and full life, and b) it's a PROJECT. It's even in the name. I was JUST writing about how I love projects and need a new one, and lo and behold I start reading a book about one. It's like fate or something. Fate or creative marketing on behalf of the publisher. Either way, I'm pretty excited about it.

Like I said, I'm only up to May and the whole thing may fall apart by December. But stand by for more posts, I'm already working on one in my head as I type.

Look out world, I'm feeling inspired.

Old Habits Die Hard

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:34:00 +0000

Every month my emotions and my body go into a battle to the death. I have always been an emotional eater, a bored eater...and every month around the same time, I start to notice that I want to snack all. the. time. I finish one snack and I'm immediately jonesing for another fix of sweet or salty goodness. At this same time my body starts to get all bloaty and I start to freak out that I'm losing control of everything I worked for.

I didn't have these same cravings when I was on my journey to weight loss, so what the heck is going on now?! I'm panicking that the old Gillian is trying to make a comeback.

Old habits die hard. That's not just a saying because it's catchy. 34 years of building one set of habits cannot be completely erased by one year of better choices. Every now and then, and yes, usually once a month, the old Gillian rears her not-so-lean face and wants to eat everything in sight.

I knew when I started the process that I would have to make conscious decisions every day of my life if I wanted to stay in the body I had achieved. But after a year you get a little lazy, a little complacent and I'm BORED of making those same decisions. I want to EAT!

Sorry, that was the old Gillian. I have now squashed her back down for the moment and will choose the better road.

It's not like the old me wants ice cream for breakfast, but when Mr. Awesome brought home strawberry and rhubarb pie last night, HELL YESI had a piece. And as Weight Watchers will tell you, that's fine, as long as you have eaten accordingly for the rest of the day, or you have your extra weekly points left. Blah blah blah. (Shut up, old Gillian!) Lately I'm thinking less about points and more about the deliciousness of that second 100-calorie snack. Of course then it becomes a 200-calorie snack and that pretty much defeats the purpose of pre-portioned snacking.

A colleague told me the other day that the Vancouver Canucks play "Whistle to Whistle." They only focus on the next immediate goal, the next 30 seconds, the next play. I am making a resolution here and now that when the old Gillian tries to grab an extra snack, I will play whistle to whistle, until the urge subsides. It's a great mantra and I will recite it to myself to get through the temptation.

I may not be bigger than the old me, but I'm definitely stronger and I will win.

Just like the Canucks. GO CANUCKS GO! (Sorry, it had to be said. Game 1 is tonight.)

Oh Gillian, Just Get Over Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Sat, 28 May 2011 14:07:00 +0000

Why can't I write a blog post? Why has it been four weeks since my last entry?

I started this blog as a place to share, to vent, to motivate (myself and others), to inspire, to confess...to be open and honest in a safe, albeit public, place. Even though it's a safe space, I've always tried to write posts that will connect for my readers, sharing my insights or challenges in the hopes that someone will say "I totally get that."

I feel stalled. I am still working through the challenges of maintaining my goal weight, the little man is STILL dropping pants bombs ever single day with no signs of progress after a year and a half...I feel like I have nothing new to report and don't want to burden my readers with the same old topics.

I'm feeling stalled personally, professionally, and I hate this feeling. I have always been one to look forward, on to the next project, the next goal. This is probably not a terribly productive or healthy way to be, as I am not very good at just being present in the moment, but I'm working on it. I LOVE new projects, big or small. I start to get antsy if one is coming to an end, and I very quickly fill the void with a new plan. Maybe my new project should be to live without a project, to just BE...
Um, no. I just don't think I can do that for very long.

The project of potty training the little man has been dragging on for a year and a half and I'm frankly done with it. There is no real progress...well, that's not entirely true. There is progress on the pee front. We're working really hard to empower him to do things for himself - get undressed, brush his teeth, go pee on his own, etc. He's never been big on independence, usually giving a half-hearted effort and then saying "I need help." This morning he got up, went pee, then proceeded to brush his teeth and wash his hands all before coming in to find me. That's big progress, and it was pretty exciting even at 5:45am. But the poo thing is the same as it ever was, with a grenade (if we're lucky) appearing at least once a day. He disappears into his room to play and then we go in and check on him and are greeted with a wall of stink as we open the door. Every. Single. Day.

One of my current projects is my garden, and it's one project where I can see daily progress and growth - literally. I didn't start this page as a gardening blog, and other than a few rants about my beloved lawn, I don't want to bore you with the daily millimetric growth of my veggies. Maybe just one photo...or two. That's it, I swear.

Shortly after it was planted. Mr. Awesome built me this fantastic raised bed.

Now check out my peas!

Okay, enough about my garden, for now. This isn't a gardening blog, it isn't a cooking blog, it isn't even just a mommy blog or a weight loss blog. It's a blog about my life and I don't like admitting when things aren't going perfectly. Don't get me wrong, I still love my life and everyone in it more than I can even express, I'm just feeling...STALLED. Things at work aren't how I would ideally like them to be, which is a whole other blog post that I will never write. I can't find as much time to work out as I would like. My body isn't feeling as tight as it did at its best - I'm still maintaining the pounds, just not the feeling. We'll be potty training until the little man gets married and it becomes someone else's problem. Because you KNOW that's a huge selling feature on the dating scene...

This is why I haven't written in so long. I haven't wanted to bore you with my petty grievances. I already bore my friends to the point that they probably wince when they see me coming (I HOPE I am exaggerating), so I don't want to drive you away too.

So, I will endeavour to just get over myself. Life is, in fact, pretty awesome. I just need to stop once in a while and enjoy it.

Raising Kids is a Scary Thing.

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 21:45:00 +0000

I read an article in the Vancouver Sun last week that has me completely freaked out. This man passed away at the age of 59 surrounded by his family and a room full of love, but that is the happy ending of a very tragic story. Basically from his first drink at 13, addiction took control. Alcohol, drugs of any variety, and stealing took him down an almost irreversible path. His family tried to help but he rejected every attempt.

A couple of weeks ago a friend told me about her co-worker's son who had just taken his own life. He was 15 years old and his best friend had committed suicide three weeks earlier. Two young men within a month found life too difficult to face and decided to end their lives. My friend's co-worker had taken her son to counselling after his friend died, talked to him, did all the things you're "supposed" to do to take care of your kids in difficult situations.

How do you know what you're doing as a parent will be enough? Unconditional love and open communication will take you far, but what if you miss something? Our little man is a wild man at home, talking a blue streak (hang on, what does that expression even mean?), dancing, singing at the top of his lungs. Get him outside in the "real world" and he clams up and is glued to our sides. At school he does not talk. And I mean not at all. His teacher actually asked me if he might have a hearing problem (he doesn't, he can hear a truck backing up 18 blocks away) because sometimes he won't acknowledge her. While I agree this isn't acceptable and he should respond to his teachers, it's simply that he is painfully shy. Not only does she not think he can hear, she doesn't think he can talk. She told me not to worry, HER son didn't talk til he was three. Well, that's awesome, genius teacher. My son is four and has a HUGE vocabulary, he just chooses not to share it with you.

The little man is also pretty emotional, but come on, he's FOUR. That's normal, right? Hell, I'm 35 and if my expectations are dashed or my world gets rocked a bit I also feel a bit freaked out.

I guess the answer is to just have faith that all the love, hard work and time you put into your kids pays off and they will emerge from their teenage years relatively unscathed. I do believe the groundwork starts being laid the minute that squirmy little sperm breaks through the wall of the egg, and everything you do basically from that point will in some way contribute to who they become. And from the moment they can articulate even the simplest thing, encouraging communication and talking about feelings. We still struggle with this as the little man can't really identify his emotions with words and we don't want to impress emotions on him by suggesting how he might be feeling. We're hoping that by doing it now it will become part of him and he will eventually be able to talk to us about how he's feeling. Begin as you mean to continue, right? (And yes, I might be over-thinking this.)

I was thinking about this post for a few days when I got an email from a representative of Kids Help Phone. Tomorrow, May 1, is the Walk for Kids Help Phone. National Child and Youth Mental Health day is coming up and they're just about to release a new report called “What’s Hope Got to do With it?”

From Kids Help Phone: We have a sneak peek of the report online at http://org.kidshelpphone.ca/en/media-centre/publications. That preview includes tips about how we can all work together to foster hope in young people and could be helpful to parents as well as teachers, youth professionals, family friends – anyone who has kids in their lives.

I couldn't help but feel comforted in the fact that even if we do everything "right," do everything we can and build a healthy environment of trust and communication, if ever there is a point that our kids need someone else to turn to, there is an organization like Kids Help Phone out there. They provide online and phone counselling for kids 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. They deal with issues like violence and abuse, bullying, friend issues, dating questions...anything your kids might facing.

Raising kids is a scary thing. Raising teenagers is even scarier. We just have to do the very best we can, talk to them, LISTEN to them, and let them know how much we love them.

And with that, I'm going to go build a train set with my little man.

"You Are Doing it Wrong," or How Mr. Awesome Gives Advice

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 02:50:00 +0000

"You're doing it wrong." These were the words that greeted me through the kitchen window this morning as I started to lay some bricks as a border to a small patch of grass I intended to seed. "Stop. You're doing it wrong." This just might be the most useless constructive criticism on the planet. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than anything in the world (or at least tied with my kids), but he's not always the most tactful when offering advice.

"Why? What's wrong about it?" I asked. "You're just doing it wrong" was the answer back. Thanks, got that the first time you said it. Let's work on moving this conversation forward a little, shall we? However because he was busy with work and kids under foot, that's pretty much where the conversation stopped.

He should really know better. It's not like he just met me.

If I want something done I typically just go ahead and do it. Where I don't need Mr. Awesome's brute strength and technical know-how, I usually just plow ahead. I'm not much of a "measure twice-cut once" type of girl. Yes, this ~~usually~~ sometimes leads to mistakes, irreparable damage, and almost always ridicule from Mr. Awesome (if I haven't already erased or disposed of all evidence before he finds out).

It's mostly because I'm hopelessly impatient. I don't want to wait around for him to be ready to help me do something on his schedule, I want it done NOW. And my bright ideas aren't always the disasters I've made them out to be. We have a number of items around our home, garden, my office, etc that have been my "projects" that actually ended up decently enough to be displayed. (Note to anyone that knows me personally that is reading this - I will NOT be speaking of the recently crafted table lamp.)

And if you happen to catch me mid-project and tell me "You're doing it wrong," you should know full well that this will only make me more determined to finish it and prove you wrong. I WILL finish it, and DAMMIT it's going to look GOOD. And if it doesn't, you'd better NEVER bring it up again.

So back to this morning. I was under the gun as I wanted to get the seed sown before the forecast afternoon rain, because in true "me" fashion I had decided the project would be done today so BY GOD it was going to get done today. Being the good wife and professional communicator that I am, I called Mr. Awesome outside a few minutes later and calmly asked him to explain the issues and what I might do better. We reached a point of understanding and the project continued. The bricks were laid, the soil was spread, the seed was sown.

It's now 8pm and I'm still waiting for that bloody forecast rain.

Um hello? Mother Nature? You're doing it wrong.

We Suck at Potty Training, or Why Pull-Ups Should Sponsor Me

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 14:53:00 +0000

Last January, that's 2010, we figured we'd better think about potty training the little man. We were planning a trip to Hawaii in April and we thought "Wouldn't it be fantastic if he was trained by the time we went?"

FOOLS. We were absolute fools. On February 22, 2010, I wrote my first blog post ever. I then got very eager and immediately wrote two more, including my first post about potty training. The first of many on the subject.

I called today's post "We Suck at Potty Training," but the truth is if ANY of our methods or tactics had worked we would be touting ourselves as experts in the field and sharing our knowledge with the world. Instead, I am sharing our utter and complete failure.

He'd been in "real underwear" from the beginning of the training, as everyone said never to go back once you'd started. Well, "everyone" hasn't been dealing with trouser bombs every single day for a year. He'd been doing okay, seemingly making good progress on the pee and letting us know when he had to go. The pants grenades were another issue, but we seemed okay with pee. Sure, there were a few accidents here and there but he was even managing to stay dry through the night, most nights.

We've tried bribery. We've tried empowering him. We've tried taking things away. We've been soft and supportive. We've ignored it completely. We've tried letting him go pantsless but quite frankly that grosses me out as he has a tendency towards "sharts" when he's trying his best to hold in his business. Lovely.

It's been over a year. Over the last few months he's gotten worse and worse at letting us know he has to pee, and the accidents have been getting more and more frequent. He will NOT speak at preschool, so occasionally the accidents happened there. In one span of three days he peed his pants eight times, plus of course the daily weapons of mass destruction.

That was it. We were done. We are back in Pull-Ups after a YEAR of potty training. We are not typically prone to throwing in the towel on anything, but we are mentally and emotionally spent. This kid can stay in Pull-Ups until he's thirty if he has to. Do you think Pull-Ups might condsider sponsoring me?!

He turns four in a few weeks and we've been saying that when he turns four he'll be a "big boy" and have to use the potty all by himself. Maybe the stress of that date looming as been the cause of the accidents and his refusal to alert us to his urges. But honestly, I do not know what else to try. We could go back to ignoring it, or I could put sheets over everything, including the carpet and hardwood, and take off the pants again. Shudder.

Part of the problem, I THINK, is that he's just so freaking adaptable. He'll pretty much go along with any situation presented to him. It's like his reality shifts and he moves on - "Oh. I have a poop in my pants the size of an avocado. This is my new reality. Okay. Now where are my trains?"

I just don't know. This seems longer than ANY other potty training saga I have ever heard, but I have noticed that the only people that tend to talk about it are the ones that magically trained their kid in a week or two. I have a note for these people: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. If I am telling you that I have been dealing with puddles and poop for over a year, DO NOT tell me how exceptional your child is at managing his own bodily functions. I don't want to hear it. That was a story for a year ago. Not for a parent that is at her wit's end, envisioning her son going off to college with his Costco-sized box of training pants.

So there you have it. The long-winded update on the continuing saga of potty training in the House of Awesome. Or in this case, Not-So-Awesome.

Seriously, Pull-Ups...call me.

Baby Gourmet - A Review of Some Pretty Awesome Baby Food

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 05:56:00 +0000

I recently had the opportunity to review Baby Gourmet baby food. The little miss is now 16 months old, but with the fact that she's still only got six teeth, purees are really where it's at! We always have a stock of jar baby food in the cupboard for those "just in case" days where we need something quick and easy, or our chosen dinner plan won't blend well for her.

The founders of Baby Gourmet are quoted as saying "Why feed it to your baby if you wouldn't eat it yourself?" I'm not typically one for dipping into my daughter's meals once they're all blended up, especially if it's the jar stuff, but let's call this my "Aha! moment." More like my DUH moment.

Baby Gourmet food is 100% organic, free of thickeners and fillers. It's a Canadian company, started by two busy moms. Every recipe originates in co-founder Jen Broe's home kitchen.

But that's all on the website. What isn't on the website is how our daughter gobbled it up like it was her last meal on earth. Every flavour, every meal. Flavours include Apple Sweet Potato Berry Swirl, Old Fashioned Apple Crisp, Juicy Pear and Garden Greens, our family favourite - Vanilla, Banana and Berry Risotto. Are you SURE this is baby food?

Even if she had a mouthful of chompers, purees will always be an option. I mean, I still like applesauce and I'm 35, right? And this packaging is certainly a lot more convenient than the heavy glass jar option. The package is BPA free. I wish it was recyclable at any facility, but at least the cap is. When we were in Mexico we were able to throw a couple of these in the diaper bag to take on the plane. Super convenient.

You're probably thinking that this organic manna from Heaven is only available at health food stores, Whole Foods, Choices Markets and the like. Nope. This awesome product is available at WALMART. Seriously. It's also available at www.babygourmet.com and they offer free shipping. I have yet to actually check out the pricing at Walmart, so I can't say whether it's cheaper than on the website. On the site a case of 12 (all the same flavour) sells for $33.99, or you can get a sample of three flavours, three pouches each (for a total of nine pouches if you're arithmetically challenged) for $19.99. Yes, it's a little more than some of the jarred food out there, but what organic food isn't?

This product is great. It's Canadian, it's organic and it's a company founded by moms. And the little miss LOVES it. This was absolutely one of the easiest reviews I've ever written.

Now get down to Walmart and get some!

Happy Anniversary to Me!

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 06:40:00 +0000

So a year ago (actually a year and 12 days ago – oops), I signed up with Blogger and started this blog. I had never blogged before and didn’t know much about the “blogosphere,” the incredible community that exists out there on the Internet. The amazing people I’ve connected with – bloggers, readers, followers, friends – have made me better. A better writer, a better mom, a better wife, a better person.

I called the blog Finding My Weigh because a large part of this blog has been about my weight loss journey. Making the process public made a huge difference to my success, keeping me accountable to myself and my readers who were looking to me for inspiration. I never felt I had to only post about successes, because the very act of admitting I was struggling brought me closer to others. We could share the challenges and celebrate the successes when they did happen.

And speaking of challenges…

This past week has been extremely challenging, being at a work conference centered in a hotel with seemingly never-ending food. Literally, every time we left the session rooms for breaks there would be a huge array of pastries, breads, and yummy treats. The lunches they served were fairly healthy, but right next to the lunch buffet was always THE most ridiculous display of desserts, mostly cakes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Not to mention the fact that I was jet-lagged and busy the whole week so my good intentions of going to the gym every day turned into only going twice. Yes, that’s still decent, but I was sitting most of the day and really needed that physical activity. Unfortunately the excuses were coming fast and furious and I wasn’t very good at fighting them off.

I am currently on the plane on my way home. I feel fat. I have been congested and feeling “off” all week because of the hotel’s air conditioning. I know I’m coming close to that lovely time of the month, but I cannot explain away the bloated, puffy feeling with these excuses. I am pretty sure I gained at least five pounds. The problem with gaining such an intimate understanding of my weight and body is that I have immediate, very real feedback on my poor choices. (Actually, I guess that’s not really a problem!) My jeans aren’t as loose as they were. My waist isn’t as flat as it was this time last week. I made fairly smart choices most of the time, eating smaller portions and lots of veggies, while watching others eat pastries, slather butter on buns, take two servings of dessert at every meal, etc. But I wasn’t as good or as on track as I could have been.

A few months after starting Weight Watchers, something went “click.” I came to the realization that I will have to live and eat mindfully, consciously, every day for the rest of my life if I want to stay in this new body. I can get lazy and go back to the way I lived before, but I know that pretty quickly I would be in a body I wasn’t happy with. It almost feels like I forgot that realization for a few days, or at least ignored it.

I have had trouble finding time to blog lately, unable to manage my time to make it a priority. I can’t help feeling that there is a correlation between my not writing and my lack of will power this past week. Blogging keeps me honest. My readers keep me honest. And I obviously need that on a regular basis to stay on track.

I dread getting on the scale tomorrow morning but I will do it. I’m looking forward to getting back to “normal” food, and regular exercise. And feeling better in my body.

And blogging. I’m looking forward to blogging. A year and twelve days ago I started something really amazing. I’m certainly not touting my success as a blogger, saying that I’m amazing at what I do. What IS amazing is the connection I’ve made with others, and the self-awareness I’ve gained through sharing my thoughts and experiences. Blogging has truly changed my life.

Thank you for sharing this with me. Whether you’ve been around for the last 377 days or just started reading today, thank you.

Wish me luck on that scale.

Oh Right! I Have A Blog!

noreply@blogger.com (Gillian Behnke) — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 04:11:00 +0000

I am so sorry. I have let life get in the way of blogging. Forgive me.

We went to Mexico for a week and I specifically took along my trusty little netbook with every intention of writing some blog posts while there. Not a chance.

We got back and I swore I would post in time for my one year "blogaversary," February 22. Nope.

I have a review planned of some AWESOME baby food (Baby Gourmet) but I didn't want that to be the first post after being away for so long so I procrastinated and postponed once again.

I am currently in Toronto on business and for the last three days have been swearing up and down that I would write something. Then today I met a colleague from across the country that I had never met before. Our jobs never intersect so we'd never even emailed each other but it turns out she is a reader of this blog (Hi Kirsten!). Small world, and she mentioned that she'd noticed I'd kind of dropped off the face of the planet.

Again, I'm sorry. Blogging is like weight maintenance. It's a commitment and if you don't stick with it things can go a little off the rails!

I have several posts percolating and I promise I will get to them, but for now here's the scoop:

- After a year of potty training we have taken the little man back to Pull-Ups. This is a blog post all its own, so I'll leave it at that and post this story in its entirety soon.

- I'm having some challenges with maintenance but no real slip ups to speak of. This week of conference food ismaking it increasingly difficult but I will get through. I actually LOST weight in Mexico (and no, not because of bad water) because we walked up and down a 75 degree hill at least twice every day.

- I would still like to write a post about my blogaversary as this past year of blogging has had an incredible impact on my life. It may end up being a "Happy Year And 12 Days" blogaversary but it will get written.

For now, that's the catch up. I will be in touch again shortly but for now it's bedtime. Our hotel room is sweltering and the thermostat is already as low as it can go, so maybe I can sweat off some of the delicious food they've been plying us with since Wednesday.

Sweet dreams!

G.