finding true love

Romance on a budget

ynkadr@gmail.com — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:17:00 +0000

One of the most common topics in arguments between couples is money. Worrying about having enough money to care for your family’s needs can put a huge burden on your shoulders, and that financial burden leads to enormous stress. Focusing on the stress of finances can oftentimes knock relationship priorities off the top of the list. We have to remember that our marriages are the cornerstone of our frugal families. If we fail to take care of our relationships, then all the frugalness in the world won’t matter anymore. It makes sense then that frugal couples need to be mindful of the state of their marriages and the quality of their time together. Always make sure that time for romance and your relationship are a top priority, no matter what is going on in your budget! You have the power to foster love and rekindle the romance in your marriage right now, and it doesn’t take a lot of money to make that happen. I believe that husband and wife date nights are a great way to stay connected. You can keep romance alive on a small budget, or even no budget, when you focus on the things that really make your spouse feel loved, valued, and appreciated. Plan fun things to do together such as an indoor picnic or an at-home romantic dinner for two. Or what about taking an evening stroll holding hands and talking about your day? If you have little ones and you can't seem to find the time to really talk but you also can't afford a babysitter, you might consider going on a romantic nighttime drive. This is a date even the kids will like (before they fall asleep, that is)! Have the kids get dressed in their jammies and bring their pillows and blankies into the car. Go for a nighttime drive (the kids will fall asleep) together to talk about non-kid topics. Load up your favorite romantic music or even “your song”, and drive to a scenic lookout point where you can see the city and stare out at the stars together. You don’t need to have a special occasion to make plans for a romantic date with your husband or wife. Keeping regular free and cheap dates on your weekly schedule serves to strengthen your relationship and keep your intimacy strong in a fun way. Spending time together doesn't have to cost a lot, just use your imagination and you can keep your romance alive on a budget!
-- Danelle Barbi Ice from Homemakerbarbi

Romantic Getaway

ynkadr@gmail.com — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 13:09:00 +0000

Know what not to do on a romantic getaway : about some tips on what you should do to make have a memorable trip whether it’s the trip of a lifetime or simply a night of escape.

Make sure you relax and try new things!

1. Forget the diet- You don’t have to indulge in every "All You Can Eat" buffet but remember that you are on vacation.^^ This isn’t the time to skip the local delicacies or race around trying to squeeze in gym time. Odds are if you are touring around you are burning off plenty of calories walking and exploring. Make time for yourself but don’t miss out on doing something spectacular because you are in the hotel gym.

2. Be adventurous- Try new things, new foods, and new adventures. No one here knows who you are and you will not see these people again. This isn’t an excuse for bad behavior but it might be an excuse for bad karaoke. Having the time of your lives.

Go ahead and show expression... you're on vacation!

3. Be bold- Leave your inhibitions at home. This is a chance to explore your relationship and reconnect. In early stages of dating people always love to ask questions about each other and test limits. It’s never too late to play truth or dare or even strip poker.

Turn off the TV and talk. If you aren't sure what to say than buy one of those games that involve asking each other questions or conversation cards. They'll get you headed in the right direction.

4. Be expressive- Play games and unleash the child within. While on your romantic retreat challenge each other at go cart racing, rock climbing, putt putt golf or anything. Remember the simple pleasure of strolling along a lake and skipping rocks or checking out the local candy shop. If you are in the right mood a trip to Walmart with a digital camera can be a blast!

Love is everwhere if you know where to look.

5. Take the road not travelled- On vacation it’s always great to leave the beaten path behind and check out what else there is to see. When you do this with the one you love you are making an invaluable memory to share. My husband and I were wandering through Rome when we saw that a church was having a concert. We thought “Why not?” and went on in. The church was a cathedral and completely breathtaking. We sat in the back and listened to a choir that had been flown in from the states. It definitely made for one of our most vivid and amazing memories of the whole trip.

6. Stick with classics- Yes, it may seem cheesy at first to take that gondola ride and be serenaded or to share a plate of spaghetti in Rome. But these romantic standbys are classics for a reason. Sometimes stereotypes aren’t bad. Go ahead and head to New England for a cozy bed and breakfast to see the leaves in all their glory. Book a trip to lie along the Caribbean ocean. But also….

Make time to enjoy the sunsets.

7. Know your lover- My husband gets terribly sunburned in a short time and can’t stand the heat. So we rarely make plans for tropical vacations unless there is a lot of water activities for him and other options in case he gets overly toasty. Think about what your partner loves and plan the trip around them. If they love art, head to Paris to visit the Louvre. Are they adventurous, think about an African Safari. Romance is about filling a fantasy… not just a location.

8. Go the distance- Sure you are already in an intimate bed and breakfast but go ahead and serve your partner breakfast in bed. Little details make the trip even more memorable. Fill a bubble bath, cover the bed in rose petals, or plan a candlelit picnic. It truly is the thought that counts and the extra planning and scheming makes a world of difference!

Don't just go where everyone does, explore on your own.

9. Splurge a little- Don’t throw your budget away but upgrade to a nicer room if you can afford it. Try the fancy restaurant. Take the nighttime cruise along the waterway. You never know if you will get this opportunity again so take advantage of it fully. While you are splurging, don’t hold back with your words. Many couples stop telling each other what they love about each other because they think their partner knows. A vacation is the perfect time to remind your partner what they mean to you.

10. Stop and smell the roses- Almost all tourists rush around with a long to do list of places they must see and things they must buy. Give each other at least a day to simply relax. Wander the streets. Lay on the beach. Or don’t even leave the hotel room. Make sure you stop rushing around long enough to look at the person standing next to you and focus on them.

--written by Angelina Lee

Here are some place you must "check it out!!" ^^ :

Obsessive Girlfriend

ynkadr@gmail.com — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 07:45:00 +0000

Avoid Being an Obsessive Girlfriend
One of the most amazing traits in women is our ability to submerge ourselves into the man of our desire.
Women become attached emotionally, some very quickly, and assume that the man shares these same feelings and desires. However, this can be a sure fire way to push the "man of your dreams" out of your life.

1. Accept him. Only by accepting him as he is, do you have such deep respect and gratitude for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. He has so much to offer you if only you give him the space to be himself.

2. Give him space. If he wants to hang out with friends, encourage it. Let him know that you want him to have a good time and to spend as much time with them as he'd like.
(Then follow step 4.) If you have to, fake it. There are times when you would really rather spend that time with your man than have him out with his friends, however forcing him to spend time with you results in his pulling further away. If you're able to encourage and support his time away it will reinforce his belief that you want what is best for him, and in the long run it will strengthen your relationship. Patience is the key here. One's got to believe that in the long run he will surely appreciate it.

3. Take time for yourself. Visit friends, family, take a class, anything you find interesting or would like to learn. Do this even if you have to tear yourself away from your man. He should be supportive of you, and encourage your interests, too. Focusing only on the one you love isn't living; it's also about personal growth and experiencing new things. Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. If you aren't the best person you can be, then you can't expect to be the person you need to be for your significant other.

4. Keep your hobbies and friends. All of us tend to become obsessive at the beginning of a relationship. The key to a healthy relationship is balance. Couples need time apart to reestablish their individual identities. Remind yourself of who you are by reconnecting with friends/relatives, or picking up those old hobbies you've been setting aside. Suggest that he do the same. This is a simple way to show him that you are confident and interesting (even if you don't feel very confident or interesting). Suggest to him that he go out with his friends while you visit with yours. Or even suggest he work on his hobby or interest while you take time for yours.

5. Set up days or times to reconnect after spending time apart. This is simple and very effective. After asking for time apart, set up a time and day to reconnect. For instance, if one of you wants to hang out with friends for the day, suggest that you could meet him later for dinner. Or suggest a time the following day, and an activity, in which the both of you could get together. This gives both people in the relationship permission to enjoy their time apart, while also giving each of you a grounding point, or rather a reassurance in knowing you will see the other person and they wish to see you.

6. Reaffirm who you are and why you are special. Do those things that you do best. If you're not sure, try everything. If you're feeling less than confident, or insecure in your relationship, sometimes it helps to go back to something that created a sense of accomplishment. Don't look for confidence from your partner, find it within yourself. To do this, seek out those things at which you can succeed.

7. Suggest he take time for his hobbies and interests. The key is to allow him to choose by assuring him you want to spend time with him, but letting him know you understand the importance of his hobbies and interests, too. Let him know that you can and will find activities to occupy yourself while he enjoys his time. This frees him from feeling guilty for taking that time for himself. You create a bonding situation by suggesting that the both of you go to stores that are of interest to him. For example, if he enjoys video games, suggest a trip to the video game store. Help him look for games he wants, or maybe is interested in. Then give him space to use those games.

8. Know when to back off. Learn his body language. Ask questions. Listen to what he is saying. Men don't always come out and say how they feel, and may not tell you even if you ask. Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you. If you feel he is pulling away, don't force yourself on him more. A woman's tendency is to be clingier at this point. The problem is it drives men away. A possible solution involves letting him know you are available when he wants, while finding other things to do with your time, or discuss the situation with him.

Tips

* Hang up the phone. If you're calling him 24 hours a day, stop. In worst case scenarios, turn your phone off. It's okay to call and see how his day is, but if you're calling every couple of hours, this could reinforce his belief that you have nothing else going on in your life. People are attracted to interesting people. If your only interest is him, then he's going to lose interest in you. Some ideas to refrain from grabbing the phone are: Call a friend, take a nap, go for a walk and pick flowers for him, learn something new that you can discuss with him later, learn more about his hobbies/interests through research.

* Start a journal. Write your feelings, not what you did during the day. Try to discover why you feel a certain way. Insecurity often leads people to act in ways that men would describe as crazy. If you're worried about losing him, dig deep into why you feel that way. Not how is he acting, but why YOU are concerned about losing him. Fear of being alone? Fear of rejection? A journal is a place where you can explore your thoughts and feelings without having to set them in stone. It should be an area where you can express every possible emotion without fearing recrimination. Once on paper, re-examine it, does it still sound true to you? What can you do so that you won't fear rejection or loneliness, and can become more confident in who you are? Oh, and make sure he doesn't find it. It could turn into a sticky situation.

* Stop following him when you aren't together. Don't follow him when he says he's going to a friend's house so that you can check up on him. This is an instant message to him that you don't trust him. Men aren't stupid; they see your car parked down the street.

* Create situations that have an ending point. For instance, you want to hang out with him during the afternoon, ask him if he's interested and then suggest that after the outing he can drop you off at your house. This gives him the freedom to decide if he would like to spend the rest of the evening with you, instead of feeling as if he's trapped into spending it with you.

* Communication. Ask questions and then listen. Clarify anything you may not understand by asking questions.

* Quality time, not quantity time. Use the time you do have together wisely. Ask yourself if you'd rather have 8 hours of mediocre time with him, or 2 hours of fantastic time together.

* Trust. Obsessive behavior usually stems from a feeling of mistrust. Unfortunately trust can only be built over time, but you must have a basis to build from. If you don't feel you can trust him while he is away, discuss this with him. Also, ask yourself why you feel this way. What is he doing to cause this mistrust in you? Is it his actions, or are you drawing from past experiences? What can you do to help yourself face this fear?

* Approach all arguments or discussions with an open mind. Be willing to listen and understand his side.

* Remember that each relationship is different, and no two people are alike.

* In general, without realizing it, we tend to be attracted to people who show the better qualities that are within human beings. Love, beauty, courage, kindness, confidence, trust, honesty and friendliness are some of these qualities and there are many more. When we live out our best qualities, we tend to be attracted to and we attract others who do the same. We tend to want to avoid people who live out some of the worse qualities. When was the last time you were attracted to bitterness, meanness and cruelty in a person?

* Dont instantly say yes to every one of his ideas. You will seem desperate, but instead say no, and casually suggest something or wait for another one of his. Doing this will seem as if you want to spend time with him, but are still enjoying your own life as well.

* Seek help if you are in an abusive situation, or if you find that your infatuation with this person is consuming your life.

* Letting him have his space to do things like be with his friends doesn’t give him permission to pursue other women.

* Setting a "curfew" of when a man is supposed to be home or is supposed to check in is extremely controlling behavior. As you probably know, when you're out with your friends, time flies and the last thing on your mind is the time. You are not his mother, and asking him to keep checking his watch all night while he's trying to have fun just makes you something to resent. He should, instead, have his fun so that he can recharge his batteries and look forward to seeing you.

* Men don't "get a life" by dating. You shouldn't, either. Your life should be interesting and full on its own. If you're not genuinely going out and having fun with your friends without obsessing about him, your insecurities are controlling your life.

* Don't be his go-to girl, just because he cannot find anything else to do. Be smart. Be real.

* If staying out late with his friends is about more than just getting in some guy time—remember: you can’t force love. If what you have isn’t meant to be, no amount of angry outbursts over his guy-time will make your relationship work.

* All of these suggestions should not be tried from the point of view that these will fix a relationship that isn't working by "making" someone have more feelings. Relationships are built on feelings for the other person, and love comes only from loving.
If you find yourself following these suggestions in order to elicit a specific response, then it could be because you're wanting to make the other person feel and in turn, show you feelings they might not have. If you're wondering what you can do to make someone have more feelings for you, the answer is confidently being yourself without needing him. Ask yourself, 'What is it really that attracts you to this person? - the person, themselves, or one or two qualities they have.

* Never just assume that your boyfriend is cheating on you and start checking up on him. That is very annoying, and you will be very embarrassed if he isn't after all. Not only that, but if you are insistent, don't be surprised if he then begins to cheat - both because you don't trust him and because he wants to get away from you.

* Don't be clingy. Men who are starting to feel serious about a girl may start to pull away and make sure. If you're too clingy during this important time, you might chase him away just as he's about to commit.wikihow.com

Tips For Guys

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 09:12:00 +0000

Improve Your Scent
Author: Julian Foxx

It is time to talk about hygiene guys.
According to scientific data, women choose their mates due
to perceived strength of the man's immune system. It can
also give a better chance of survival to her offspring.
Recent research also suggests that the SCENT of a man
determines his immune system's strength.

You may wonder how it all relates to dating. Well it is one
of the factors that gives a high impact to the level of
success you have with women. Some factor could be your
posture, social circle, fashion sense, and of course your
looks.

The point here is that there's no point mastering every dating skill if you are still funky or something. So here's something to work on yourself. Its a bit risky and well, scary but it will be worth it.

First find someone you can trust with and ask them you need a serious favor. Then make them swear that they would be completely honest with you. After that, get close to them
- really close - and exhale directly into their face without warning them. You don't have to 'blow' into their face but make sure you go "hhhhaaaaaahhh, " right from the
back of your throat.

Important that you know the truth. Ask your friend to rate your breath and body odor on a scale of 1-10 - with 10 being the highest - so as to get an honest answer. That
way, you'll get a more honest answer.

Here are your dating tips for a real fresh breath aside from listerine, flossing, and brushing:
1. Use a tonge scraper - get the ones that are long and wirey looking and not the ones that are attached to a toothbrush.

2. Mint-a-sure - these are little capsules you swallow that gives you fresh breath from the belly. If they are not available in your local drugstore, get them online. You don't have to chew a gum with these ones.

For a Great Smelling Hair:

3. There are a lot of known good brands of shampoo and conditioner for men. But it will not be effective for you unless you really scrub it into your scalp with your fingers.

For a Great Smelling Body:

4. Use a loofa or exfoliating gloves in the shower along with soap and then a body wash.

5. Baby wipes - use them after you take a crap. You might hesitate on this one but girls will feel a lot better about putting her mouth where the sun don't shine.

6. If you have an underarm odor issua, try shaving (or trimming) your armpits. They'll not only look better but will help in your anti-perspirant. The armpit hair is functioning as a barrier to your anti-perspirant also.

7. Then again, if underarm odor is an issue, you can also use prescription strenth anti-perspirant like Certain Dri. Apply it before going to bed but make sure not to put too
much of it.

Applying these dating tips will not only increase our success rate with women but will also make us smell better to the people around us. Also, when we do these, we'll know
that we smell great and that's a confidence booster for all of us. In the pickup artist and dating community, confidence is one of their secrets. So we should have it with ourselves as well.

About the Author: Julian Foxx is considered by many to be the fastest Rising Star in the pickup artist and dating community. His jaw dropping effectiveness with women is matched only by his ability to innovate powerful new techniques, giving their user a ridiculously unfair advantage. To discover cutting edge dating tips for guys check out http://www.julianfo xx.com

Healthy Approach to Finances in Your Relationship

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 17:11:00 +0000

If you've ever been in a relationship for very long, especially if you were married it is almost a guarantee that you've had a money fight. One of the biggest causes of problems in relationships is differences in values and goals and habits when it comes to money, and especially communication about money issues.

Money can't buy you love, but it sure can tear it apart.

The crux of this article is to learn how to talk about money, and learn to align your financial goals. If you can do those two things, you've done more than most couples, and you've done a lot to keep your relationship on solid ground.

1. Sit down and talk about financial goals and values. Many couples often neglect this step, even if it seems obvious and commonsense. But because talking about finances can be uncomfortable, many couples leave these important things unsaid, and often don't even think about it individually.
They have goals and values when it comes to money, but they're not examined. That's a mistake, as one person might want to be frugal in order to save for future goals, while the other might like to spend and enjoy things now, while the getting is good. The differences often come from different upbringings, and they can be emotionally charged (see next step for more on this). It doesn't have to be difficult, though, and it might take a few meetings to get to actual written goals, with a time frame for each, but that's where you want to be eventually.

* Each person should have a budget (formal or crude, either one) of what their income and expenses are before going into the discussion. Spend some time going over your past 3 months of expenses and income to prepare a good overview of what and where are your expenses. Make sure to include those $5 lattes every morning, and the high-grade gasoline instead of the cheap stuff, and be prepared to calmly explain the justification for things that your partner may not readily see the value in! (And be prepared to invest in a latte machine - or whatever it takes to help make the compromises successful.)

* Tell your partner you'd like to sit down and have a talk about the future — what your goals are and how you can work together, as a team, to achieve them. Start by spitting out the things each of you want — a house, kids, college education for the kids, a healthy emergency fund, nice cars, travel each year, nice clothes, gadgets and computers, etc.

* Then prioritize, and see if you can come up with things in common. If you want different things, it is important that you talk about why, and consider the other person's desires. If that's what makes the other person happy, you should want to make them happy - that's the basis of a good relationship. But relationships aren't one-sided, either, so you should be able to be happy too. The point is that both sides should be considered, and you should look for a win-win solution or compromise so that you can both be happy.

* Discuss how you will handle assets and debts that were accumulated before the relationship began. If you are married in the U.S., your spouse's creditors can hold you legally responsible and pursue your assets if you don't keep your finances completely separated, or if you ever get divorced. Plus, your spouse's credit score will affect your ability to get joint credit, which is often necessary for large purchases (such as a home). So if you're married, the best route is to work together to pay off debt as quickly as possible, avoiding late payments. If you're planning on getting married soon, a pre-nuptial agreement can help protect one person's assets from the other person's creditors.If you're not married, you may choose to treat individual debt as a shared expense, or you may not - the choice is yours as a couple.

2. Remove emotions from financial talk. From your first meetings about financial goals to your subsequent weekly talks (addressed in a later step), it's important that the two of you stay calm, don't get hurt or angry over any of the issues, and try to look at these issues objectively. Often financial issues are tied up in all kinds of emotional issues, stemming from childhood, from issues of security to feeling like your way is better, to feeling hurt if your way of spending is criticized in any way, and much more. These emotional issues are all tangled together with financial issues, and it's important that you untangle them and just deal with financial goals and habits:

* Don't use emotional, accusatory, or inflammatory language. Use nonviolent communication.
* Don't blame the other person or even be negatively critical.
* Simply talk about your financial goals, developing a plan for getting to those goals, developing a system for dealing with finances, and so forth.
* Also, try not to feel like you're under attack if the other person talks about your goals or habits — let this be an open discussion, and if you feel under attack, stop and take a breath and remember that this isn't a discussion about you personally but about how the two of you are going to meet your goals. Again, think of this as a team effort, not as a you-vs-me effort.

3. Come up with a plan to meet your goals. Once you're able to come up with common financial goals (a huge step - celebrate! Within your budget.), you will need a plan to get you there. This will take into account your joint income, your debt, your savings, how much you can put towards debt and/or saving each month, whether you want to cut back on certain things in order to meet your savings goals, how long you want to give yourself to meet financial goals, and so forth:

* Start by having a definite time frame for each goal, and then figure out how much you need to save (or pay towards debt) each month to get to your goals. Try to get into the habit of paying yourselves first.

* Create a spending plan (if you haven't already) for each month, and see if you can adjust it to meet that monthly goal. You might need to cut back on some things, or earn extra income, or both. Or you might discover that your goals aren't realistic and you need to cut back on them, reprioritize, or push them back a bit in order to meet them. This plan to meet your goals is how you will align your daily and monthly spending with your long-term goals. It's also a great way to resolve minor short-term disputes - for example, "you should definitely buy fewer shoes, and I should buy fewer video games, so we can buy that house in three years and travel to Europe in two years". Spending plans will evolve as time goes by -- this is inevitable; be prepared to adjust and adapt to your changing situations (promotion at work, unexpected expenses like constant car repairs indicating an upcoming major expense, etc.) as needed.

4. Develop a system for finances that works for both of you. It may take some trial, error and tweaking before you get it right. Keep in mind that no one arrangement is in any way "better" than the other. The best arrangement is the one that creates the most harmony in your relationship.

* Use the communal approach if you have very similar spending styles and saving goals. All of the income received by the couple goes into a single account, and all expenses come out of that single account. If you're not on the same page about spending, like if one person tends to make money decisions that the other person tends to disagree with, this approach can lead to frequent arguments. Communication, trust, and discipline are essential for this arrangement to work smoothly.

*Use the individual approach if you have different spending styles. Keep separate accounts to which your individual incomes are deposited. Put money into a joint account only for shared expenses. Decide what those shared expenses are going to be (usually rent or mortgage, utilities, etc.) and what proportion each partner will pay. You can each put in half of the expenses, or you may decide to contribute a percentage that's relative to your individual income (e.g. one person makes twice as much per year as the other, so one person puts twice as much towards the shared expenses as the other). The remainder of the money in each person's account is theirs to keep and spend or save however they wish.

* Use the allowance approach if it fits. This is a hybrid of the previous two arrangements. Put everything into a joint account, but then give each person an allowance to spend as they wish. The allowance can be in cash, or it can be transferred to individual accounts. Decide as a couple how much of an allowance each person should get. This works best for people who tend to spend money on different things, but who still want to pool their income.

5. Decide who will be handling the "administrative" aspects of your finances. In order to put your financial plan into action, you'll need to figure out how you're going to pay your bills, pay debt, deposit into savings, have money for various spending needs (like gas and groceries and eating out), and so forth. Someone will have to take responsibility for each part of the system (it's better if you're both involved, but you should find what works best for you as a couple). Usually there's one person who's more inclined to do the bookkeeping, and sometimes he or she doesn't mind carrying this responsibility. Otherwise, you'll need to define and assign responsibility. One person might go to the bank while the other updates your financial program (like Quicken or Money) or your checking register to make sure you're in balance, for example.

* If one person will be handling the finances more than the other, what is his or her responsibility in consulting with the other before, say, moving money into the savings account or IRA?

* If the person who normally handles these tasks can't do it (e.g. medical issue, away on a trip, etc.) does the other person know enough about the process to step in?

6. Have weekly financial meetings. This is very important, and it's a step that many couples overlook. Just because you have common financial goals and a plan and a system doesn't mean that everything is fine. If one person takes responsibility for the finances, for example, and the other is out of the loop, there will likely be problems down the road. You don't want to be in the situation where one partner took care of the finances and the other was blissfully ignorant...until it was revealed that they were way behind on payments and would soon have to file for bankruptcy. That isn't a good time in a relationship!
To prevent problems like this, have a weekly meeting where you sit down and talk about finances. You can review your accounts, your spending plan, what is coming up in the next few weeks that you'll need to budget for, any problem areas, what to do with your annual bonus, where you are with your goals, and so forth. Make sure you're both caught up on everything, and that you're working well as a team.

7. Adapt as needed. You may need to adjust the allowances or proportions if a big expense arises, like one person loses a job, or suffers from a major illness or injury, or even takes up a new (and expensive) interest or hobby. For instance, let's say a couple uses the communal approach, and then one partner decides to take up golfing again.

The couple may decide that the best way to accommodate this is to designate a "golfing allowance" so that one partner knows exactly how much the other partner is going to be spending on this hobby, and there are no surprises ("You spent how much on that golf club?!?"). (In the golfing example, additional expenses could be drawn from the person's personal allowance.) Many couples modify their arrangement significantly as their circumstances change. A couple may, for example, start off with the individual approach, then transition into the communal approach when they start a family or make a large investment together.

8. Above all, stay positive and be honest. Remember: you're a team. You have the same goals and you want each other to be happy. Team members can help each other out and encourage each other, or they can rip the team apart by being negative, by blaming, by working against common goals. If you always stay positive, you'll succeed as a team. Be encouraging, stay focused on solutions not blame, and make sure love is the foundation of everything you do.

Tips

* No matter how you choose to handle your finances as a couple, you should talk about and dedicate money to an emergency fund of three to six months' worth of living expenses.

* Just because you have individual accounts doesn't mean you don't trust one another. Sometimes it's not convenient to discuss every single purchase in real time, and this can occasionally lead to misunderstandings and even overdraft fees at the bank. It's possible to make individual accounts into joint accounts so that you can see each other's financial activities, but agree not to use money from the other person's designated account without discussing it first, or unless it's an emergency.
---www.wikihow.com with some changes in some part

The right man for me?

ynkadr@gmail.com — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:19:00 +0000

Perhaps you have been dating a man who seems to be very caring, loving & supportive. You wonder & want to seek relationship advice, "Is he the right man for me?"

How do you know if Mr. Right is going to be that man who will be willing to commit to a meaningful relationship & is a person who you can feel comfortable with for the rest of your life?

Here are a few guidelines that might help you make that decision.

When relationships begin, each person is putting on their best face. Of course we don't want the other person to know that down deep inside of us, we are really insecure & have characteristics about ourself that we keep hidden. It is not until the relationship becomes committed or the legal binding of marriage occurs that it is safe to begin to allow that aspect to surface, with less fear that your partner is going to leave you. This is true for everyone on some level, whether one is conscious or unconscious about those insecurities.

It is common for that shadow side to surface after a commitment is made in the relationship, leaving feelings of disappointment. The biggest flaws will be the deepest hidden. There are qualities of a man to look for that will let you know that your man is capable of sustaining a healthy relationship. And this indeed forms the relevant part of relationship advice.

How does your man handle conflict or resolve differences?

Does he become quiet and refuse to discuss the problem?
Or is he willing to communicate about the differences & help to resolve the situation in a loving way?

Communication is essential to a successful relationship. If your man shows signs of withdrawing, pouting, or becomes angry when a conflict arises, it is a major sign of emotional immaturity.

Both partners need to be able to address a problem by sharing their views & emotions without blaming the other. You cannot resolve a problem if he refuses to talk about it or isn't emotionally connected well enough to know what he is feeling. If there is no possibility of conflict, then perhaps the intimacy in the relationship may not be easily established. That doesn't mean that conflict is necessary, but it does mean that he should be willing to take the initiative to openly discuss difficult/controversial subjects & move out of any conflicting situation very easily. The relationship will then deepen.

Does your man value your happiness?

A successful relationship is maintained by both the partners by respecting & honoring their love by committing to each other's best interests. If you are with a man who doesn't cherish your love, but is only concerned with his own happiness, be very wary. He should be willing to go beyond his own self interests & see the worth of honoring those values that you aspire to & hold dear. If you value financial responsibility then his life should show his commitment to a job & being sensible with debt. And if family values are important to you then he must spend maximum time with the family. The relationship advice will be that your happiness must be his priority.

Is your man considerate?

A man should be dependable. Does he show up when he says he will? Does he say he is going to call & you don't hear from him? You should be able to know that he stands by his word & you can trust him to be there when he says he is.

To be in a successful relationship you should be able to lean on your man, knowing that he will be willing to be there for you. Thus you will never feel the need of any relationship advice.

--advice from Dr Rakesh Chopra, http://www.DrRakeshChopra.com .

Why I Love You

ynkadr@gmail.com — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Why I Love You
Figure this: You are giving a bouquet of gorgeous roses to your beloved. You expect a generous hug, a peck on the cheek, or at least a warm "thank you".
Instead you are asked, "Why do you love me?" To answer these spur of the moment questions, we bring you reasons to love someone. So prepare yourself with these "reasons for loving you" and answer the question that begins with reasons why I love you! Given here are top 20 of the most popular reasons that we came up, to answer this often asked question.

* You complete me.
* You give the word Perfect a new meaning
* I can be myself when I am with you
* You bring out the best in me.
* Just a sight of you lifts my up spirits.
* You have taught me what it is to love and be loved.
* I can be clumsy and foolish when I am with you, yet know that your love for me will never diminish.
* Your smile is enough to make a dull day seem bright as sun.
* Being in your arms makes me feel like I can never be lost again.
* Ever since you have come into my life, I yearn to come back home and see your lovely smile.
* Your innocence makes me forget all shady things of this world.
* I love the way you get angry whenever I am late; yet wait for me for as long as it takes.
* You have given meaning to my existence.
* I love the way your face glows whenever I gift you something.
* You are the only one who can make me smile even in my deepest sorrows.
* I respect the faith you have in me and love you for it.
* I love the calm look on your face when you are sleeping.
* I love waking up in the morning and finding you by my side.
* I get lost in the depth of your mysterious eyes.
* I can fight against the world because I know you will be by my side always.
taken from here.

Show you like him

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 15:05:00 +0000

Sneaky Ways to Show Him You're Interested
None of them are lame...SWEAR

You have a crush on a guy in Spanish class (!Tu eres muy caliente!). You're dying to make a move, but you don't know how he'll react. He could laugh in your face. Or, start avoiding you like you're yesterday's cafeteria lunch. If only you could let this cutie know you like him without looking like a total fool.

the web of mystery
IMs can start out so innocently, but quickly evolve into fierce flirtations.
what to do: When you see your cutie log on, grab his attention by tossing out a question about homework. Be sure to make it an open-ended one like, "How do you think you did on that science test?" If he seems like he's up for chatting, respond with a flirty line like, "I wanna go to the party on Friday, but my parents have plans, so I'm not sure how I'd get there." But if he replies, "I dunno," and nothing else, then he may not be interested. Or, maybe he has a case of writer's block, so try tossing out one more question just to be sure. No response? Next! There are plenty more cute boys out there.
(But first of all, make sure that you serious , i mean, intend to him. I'm not talking about short-term relationship in my blog. I just put something to force you a serious relationship to marriage. ^^Hope this work well for you^^ )

why this works:
Your crush can't see you, so you never have to worry if your blush-prone face turns the color of a candied apple. You also don't have to stress about coming up with something witty on the spot-IM etiquette allows you at least a few minutes to think of a clever comeback. If he doesn't play along after a couple of tries, pound out a quick buh-bye and get outta there.

the look of love

Hey, they don't call them "the windows to the soul" for nothing. Your eyes are the best way to send out a silent-but strong-message. When you let a glance linger a few seconds longer, the message is, "I see you. I like you. Let me rock your world."
Warning: Not all eye contact is -created equal. The signal you're sending him has to be just right.
what to do: First, your glance should start at his brow, move down to his cheekbones and, finally, let your look land around his chin. Every few seconds, meet his eyes again (you might even toss in a smile), then continue scanning his face. This needs to be quick and smooth, and only last about seven or eight seconds. Don't stare because that can seem a little, uh, psycho. He'll notice that you've checked him out, but he won't feel stared down.
why this works: Because you won't have to utter a single word, this approach is ideal for even the shyest girl. If your dude sends back vibes that he's not at all interested (like looking away or seeming bored), it's no big deal. Hey, you never actually said that you liked him, right?
----taken from here with some modification on some parts.

Stop Thinking About Your Boyfriend's Past Relationships

ynkadr@gmail.com — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:34:00 +0000

How to Stop Thinking About Your Boyfriend's Past Relationships

Can't stop thinking about your Boyfriend's past relationships?
1. Ask yourself why you are thinking about your Boyfriend's exes.
Is your boyfriend constantly bringing them up in conversation and making comments that leave you feeling inadequate?
Or perhaps it's you creating this problem for yourself, by comparing yourself to the ex?
Identify whether your need to think about them is due to his behaviour or your own.
2. If your Boyfriend is bringing them up, it's time to talk. Tell him how hurtful it is when he mentions his ex and give him a chance to change. If you see no improvement, you should re-consider your relationship. He may not be over his ex.
3. If you're thinking about them yourself, look at why.
Is your self-esteem not as great as it should be? This may well cause you to be look at his past relationships and cause you further worry. Perhaps you are a jealous person? Whatever the reason, only you can work it out.
4. Live in the moment! Those past relationships didn't work for a reason.

Tips
* Be totally honest with yourself when working out why you are thinking about relationships.
* Be kind to yourself - the ex may appear to have something you don't, but your Boyfriend clearly sees you have something to offer (otherwise, he wouldn't be around).
* By thinking about your Boyfriend's ex partners, you are only causing yourself and the relationship a problem. If your boyfriend is truly over his past relationships, bringing them back up to him is likely to turn him off!
--from wikihow.com

Serious Relationship

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Some considerations of serious relationship

Some thoughts...

A relationship coach lays out his 5 Golden Rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.

What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart.

To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is Trust! i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.

How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
> 1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
> 2. Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing".

"So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?"

Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.

You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:
> 1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
> 2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
> 3. Do they show respect?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!
> 4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others?
Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage... for the worse!"
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married".

Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own. They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with. This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person. This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you. More important yet, this person will share your children.

You need to choose wisely.

The decision should not be made based on feelings alone. You need to ask yourself some tough questions. The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner? Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?
Is he prepared to be a good provider? What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?

Will this person be a good parent? Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person? They will, you know. Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits. You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.
If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children? This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent. If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.

Does this person share your faith in God? God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school. Our job is to get them to heaven. To do that, we need to raise them believing in God. It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.

Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work. Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day. The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become. Who will be answering those questions for your children?

Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control?

Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people. Wrong!
There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel.
There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves. At times like this, other people can seem very appealing. That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women. Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex? If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty. Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.

None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision. You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you.”

You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone. Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice. Don't listen to your heart alone or your head alone.

Wait until your heart and head agree....

Communicate With a Guy After He Rejected You

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 05:30:00 +0000

How to Communicate With a Guy After He Rejected You

You liked him and he talked to you a whole lot. Then,you gave it a try, thinking he would never hurt you. But, you were wrong. You might still like him, and might still want to talk. It might be awkward, but if you try this, it's gonna be fine.
How to Make Men Commit
Learn this 1 big mistake you make that makes men fear commitment.

1. Wait for the right time. Wait until he is comfortable. It may take weeks, or maybe months, to gather up your courage, so wait for that time. Once you feel okay, you can move on.
2. Make the effort. Slowly start to sit closer to him in classes. Stand by him in lines. Talk to his friends. Make sure you glance at him in classes. And if he stares back, it's a pretty good chance he might want to talk. So, make him think your not afraid of talking with him. Now, move on.
3. Ask your friends to sit by you and talk to them like crazy. It will catch his eye. Be funny and care-free. Then, you can say something really ditzy, and hit it off. When he looks your way, start laughing and say "Well, that was really stupid!" and he likely will respond. Or, you can sing a song he knows. Make him sing too.
4. Start looking at him more. Talk to him. Make the effort. Act like he's one of your friends.
5. Be yourself! You can dress nicer and all, but just keep in mind, he might like you for you more than you think!
6. Don't see it as an opportunity to win him over, see it as an opportunity to reestablish communication and/or friendship.
7. After something so hard, give yourself time and him, so you can get rid of the awkwardness. Once you're ready, just get to know him better, as a friend. Send him small messages like 'what's up?', and it will show him that you guys are cool. And who knows? Maybe trying to befriend him will one day make him fall for you, and see what he missed out on.

* Just be friendly. Eventually if he gives hints that he likes being friends with you, you might take it up a step.
* Remember! Be comfy with him, but don't go over-board.
* Try not to give him too much of your time. When someone rejects you, it's because they're not interested, and you have to accept it. It may hurt a lot, but just keep in mind he is the one missing out, not you.
* If you're friends with the guy or became friends with him, DON'T bring up the rejection again. It only makes things a bit uncomfortable and you will regret it. It just makes him feel bad that he had to reject you, because you weren't his type, and makes it seem like you can't let go of the past.

Things You'll Need :
* Humor
* A smile
* Confidence
* Yourself ---taken from www.wikihow.com

If we act good and treat him well, i think that's all enough, beside we have to be honest to ourself.
Just show your love as a friend if he looks uncomfortable with what we did in the past.
Love have patient and full of respect of ourself and him.
Let your love enroll from your heart, but you must keep control its flow. You will reconcile your relationship with him.
And nothing to lose, if you can not have him as your lover, you can have him as good friend, and the most , you have learnt how to be honest to your feel and let your pure love enroll from your heart. Once, you will have right man loves you as you never think before.

Choose Between Two Girls

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 14:03:00 +0000

Choose Between Two Girls

Look...It's happened. You like two girls, maybe you're going out with one of them, maybe they both like you, maybe they don't. It's just that they're waiting for you to make that decision their waiting, and you'd better choose one before you lose both.

Dont think things are going to work themselves out when you are choosing between two girls if you just let things go then you will be unhappy without the one you want.

1. Analyze your relationship with both girls. What do you actually want from each of the girls?
Just a physical relation?
Marriage?
A fun time?
Soul mate?
This is a very important decision, or you'll be stuck with something you don't want.
2. What does one girl have that the other one doesn't?
If both are good looking, which one do you enjoy being with more?
Which one are you more compatible with?
Who do you have better conversations with?
Who has the better family?
Who do you have the most fun with?
Who does your mother like the best?(She knows you the best so she will know who's best for you, whether she knows the girls or not)
Who do you try new things with (this is important if you are thinking about a long term relationship, a key factor is to have someone who keeps things light and wont get boring.)Answer all of these questions before moving on.

1. Make a table with one column for each girl, and list as many good qualities as you can think of.
2. Locate any qualities that both girls share, and cross them off the list. You are now left with a list of unique qualities that each girl has. Review these qualities and compare which ones you like best. The girl with the most and best unique qualities is most likely the one you should choose. Also if you want list the bad qualities and the one with the least bad qualities is also most likely the one you should choose.
3. Once you make your decision, be direct about it. Do not flip flop between the girls. Girls love it when you're direct. Girls love actions. Do something in front of her friends (they probably think you are a jerk.)Remember actions speak louder than words. Figure out where she is one night and surprise Go up to her and just tell her, "I can't bear to be without you." She'll melt. They go for that stuff, once in a while. Also remember anything can be fixed.

* If you aren't satisfied with the steps above, pick whichever girl you have the most in common with.
* Let the other girl down easy. Talk to her and explain the predicament. The worst thing you can do is ignore her or bottle the feelings.
* If you've chosen already and believe you have chosen wrongly, go back and fix your mistakes. It'll take some time and some bonding, but you'll be better for it.
* Not all girls are the same, some may fall for stupid silly tricks, some may not.

* Don't let the girls know you are observing them for unique traits! They will certainly put on a show if they know you are watching. You need to determine their real qualities.
* You're unlikely to be able to see both of them at the same time. If you play with both, you may lose them both. Play one, and keep something up your sleeve should it fall through. Don't lose both girls needlessly, when one will do.
* You can't have strong feelings for one person while you're going out with someone else. It'll ruin the relationship you do have.
* If you actually say "I can't bear to live without you", make sure you say it seriously, or else most likely they will laugh.

How to love

ynkadr@gmail.com — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 06:53:00 +0000

How to Love

Love is a strange thing. It can be the most amazing feeling in the world, or it can really hurt, but in the end love is something most, if not all of us, will face. While there are many different ways to define love and there are many different ways to love someone (even yourself), here is a general guide to loving.

1. Say it. When you say the words "I Love You," do they carry it with them the desire to show someone you love them or do they carry it with them is it what you want to feel? And when you say it make sure you really mean it and are willing to do anything for that special person.

2. Empathize. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations or attempt to control them, try to understand how they feel, where they come from, and who they are; and realize how they could also love you back just as well.

3. Love unconditionally.
If you cannot love another person without attaching stipulations, then it is not love at all, but deep-seated opportunism (one who makes the most of an advantage, often unmindful of others). If your interest is not in the other person as such, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not unconditional. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.

4. Expect nothing in return.
That doesn't mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving love does not guarantee receiving love. Try loving just for loving's sake. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.

5. Realize it can be lost.
If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.

* It does not make you a bad person to desire someone else's love, even if they do not love you. However, to truly love someone, you must let them be free. It is selfish to blame them for your feelings.
* There are many types of love, for example: a mother-son love is different from a best friend's love, which is different from a romantic love. Don't be ashamed to tell anyone that you love your friends as much as you love anyone else in your life.
* You have to find someone that will suit you, someone you feel comfortable with - not just someone to make love to.
* As a word, love can be found worldwide and is often used to describe compassion and/or emotional attachment. Accepting those you love for who they are is part of love. You also need to learn to accept yourself before you can accept another. If you cannot love your self, how are you to love another?
* Love genuinely. Do not compare your feelings now to what your feelings were when you were with another mate. At times, we can experience rejection.
* Realize that love is a feeling and attempt to assist, but ultimately, you are the one who must take action in order to discover love.
* Do things that make the other person feel good, but do not smoother them with gifts and attention.
* Consider some tips about what people in love do.
o People in love are sensitive to each other's needs, and endeavor to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.
o Men and women may be equal in value but different by nature.

People who truly are in love give their mates "space" to develop their potential and find their fulfillment in life.

Sometimes love is all we need
o Love does not brag. People who are truly in love refrain from rehearsing their good traits just to show off. Bragging in a relationship often is really defensiveness.
o People who are truly in love do not insist that their way is best and demand that their mates give in to them.
o People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say it is all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
o People who are truly in love look out for their mates' best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
o People who truly love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we counting on someone else to meet our needs.
o People who truly love each other do not take pleasure in their mates' disappointments or failures.
o People who truly love each other treat their mates with absolute trust. Some husbands and wives torment themselves with groundless suspicions. If you look for trouble you will find it every time.
o People who truly love look forward to their relationship growing more meaningful and precious. They have hope. Which is an attitude that happily anticipates the good. It isn't being blind and denies there are problems, but it does look beyond the problems. People who truly love each other do not allow their problems to rob them of their happiness.
* Remember there is no failure in love, because once you tell somebody who you love, that you love him/her, then you have already succeeded in love.

* You must love yourself before you can love another.
* There is always the risk of getting hurt, but that's part of letting yourself fully love and trust some one. Being hurt could be long-lasting and could hurt more than anything in the world.
* Realize what you have while you have it, and care for the person you trust.
* If something comes to an end, try to let go rather than holding on; it's for the best.
* The idea of love is fueled by childhood fantasies. The love shown in movies, as obtainable as it may be, is rare to say the least.
* You just may find your soul-mate sooner than you want to.
* If you feel any doubt of love your partner has for you, it is probably true. when you give and receive love 100%, you will have no doubt in your heart.
* Don't ask for love - you should receive love because your partner wants to give you love - not because you want it from your partner.
* Do not force love - it will come in good time, it will come.

Believe. God will give you in best time. Learn to love your self and learn to love other in right way. Soon, you'll find your soulmate.

Date on a budget

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 09:49:00 +0000

How to Date on a Budget

Once upon a time a cheap date used to be a movie and a bite afterwards. Not so anymore! That might sound like a fairy tale, but it is the truth.
A movie and popcorn is one of the most expensive dates there is today, unless you figure a burger and coke! Sure, thats cheap, but what do you do before or after?
A little thought on your part, and the right partner, can make a great date, and still leave some change in your pocket.

1. The first date should be a meeting to see if you both enjoy the same things and how well you relate to each other.
Ask them out for a cup of coffee or ice cream. Take a walk. Talk on the telephone, or email. Learn what means a lot to them, and the things that they enjoy doing. This information will enable you to prepare for the first actual date. You cannot plan, for instance, a picnic in the park, if the date is used to eating at the Ritz.

2. Have coffee in a large bookstore cafe, and look through the books, or music to get an idea of what your partner enjoys. If your partner looks interested in any particular items that they sell, or the candy on display, mark it down to memory. These things are useful when holidays or special moments come around, or when you want to just give them a gift to please them.

3. Scan the newspapers for interesting places to visit. There usually is a concert in the park, or perhaps in the Mall. This can be great fun and is an inexpensive 'date'. This also could be quite romantic, if you hold hands while walking to find a seat, or just walking the Mall. Just remember to bring her a small gift when you picked them up.
Did you remember what they were looking at when you met at the bookstore? Your date will be surprised and pleased that you noticed and remembered!

4. For women or guys who like the outdoors, spend the day on a nature trail, in the park, or on the beach and pack a picnic lunch with their favorite foods to make it extra special. End the day, by having a movie night for two, with candy and home-popped popcorn. Go together, and pick out a movie that you both would enjoy.

5. Show your partner affection and let them know you love having them close. Lunch at a fast food place will seem like a great place to eat, because you are enjoying just being together. Meet with friends later, for coffee and dessert.
When the relationship is a good one, you do not have to spend a lot of money because your date will be happy just to be with you, even if you only spend the day walking in the park. While walking you get to know each other better, and will have things to talk about when you date again.

* Hunt for gift items, at discount stores. Buy greeting cards, for all occasions, and the Dollar Card Stores. It is not the price that counts, it is the thought. Make a card yourself, and add your own words and thoughts.
* If you like to cook, pasta dinner, with salad and inexpensive wine, makes for a great budget dinner. Do not forget to have candles on the table, for that romantic touch.
* If you are really on a budget, you can borrow movies from the library (some libraries might charge you, others might not, so check first). *
Check out your local zoo or museum, usually these are inexpensive places to go on a date and explore a little. Occasionally, these places will also have Free days. Also look to see if a carnival is in town too.
* Plan a road trip to a fun place or accompany her on an errand such as grocery shopping. (This works well if you've been friends for awhile)
* Go Dutch (Sometimes women do not like having the guy pay for everything. Paying separately or have alternate between who pays can add variety)
* Remember that if you are planning on a long term relation, each partner should enjoy the other's company, not the lifestyle this person can provide. If you are supposed to pay all the time, just for the honor of having the other persons company, that relation is worthless and dangerous.
* Because of rising gas prices, a walk in town or a walk through a mall could be better ideas for those on strict budgets, this also allows you to get to know them better by seeing which stores they are attracted to.
* If there is a minor league sports team nearby, consider going to a game. Tickets to these events are often only a couple of dollars, and are a great way to spend the afternoon or evening.
* Check around your community for independently-owned or discount movie theatres. Tickets will cost less (often only two or three dollars), as will concessions. In addition, these theatres will be less crowded, so you're less likely to get stuck behind someone tall or in front of someone loud.
* Be wary of partners who window shop with you, and only show you the most expensive items. Watch to see if your "partner" orders the most expensive meal on the menu, or discusses expensive ways to spend the day. All they want is someone to pay their way, and are probably not there for a long term relationship. Make sure that when you first meet, they do not know you have a lot of money so that their choice on whether to date you or not is not based on money at all. When the money goes, so will they!

When Asked on a Date

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 04:16:00 +0000

How to Respond When Asked on a Date

Not sure how to answer a guy who has asked you out?

1. If you want to go out with him, then just say yes. If you really like him, then go for it. Even if you get embarrassed easily, it's just one word.

2. If you don't want to go out with him, don't say yes! This could just end up hurting him more - no one wants to go out with someone who doesn't like them.

3. Try to say either yes or no. Even if you're shocked, do not say maybe.

4. If you don't like the guy that way, then say no in a nice way. Don't be harsh in your letdown; it probably took him weeks to get the courage to confront you.

5. Never say yes if you don't want to be his girlfriend. It's better to get rejected than to think you have a chance with someone when you don't.

6. If you do say no try to put him down gently, but don't go on and on. It will just get boring and uncomfortable, and you giving him all the reasons why you don't want to go out with him wont help him.

7. If you want a date with him but you think the time is not suitable, just propose another time so that he doesn't take it as a rejection.

* Don't act desperate when you say yes, you'll only embarrass yourself.
* Say, "Yeah, sounds like fun!" or, "Yes, I'd love to."
* A cute, flirtatious, 'sure!' would also win the day.
* If you say no, don't carry on having stabs at him and his confidence.
* How do you know that you won't like this guy? I've had experiences where I will say, "Yes," anyways and end up having a great time! Give the guy a chance! After all, he was brave enough to ask.
* NEVER spread gossips on someone to whom you've said no. Once you've done so your point is made and there's little point giving him a hard time.

How to Reject Someone Without Breaking Their Heart

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 03:27:00 +0000

How to Reject Someone Without Breaking Their Heart

Ever wanted to reject someone without the heartbreak and tears? It's not that hard, really. Just be sure to follow a few of these ideas and you will be able to step away from the encounter unscathed.

1. Look around to make sure no one's watching. The worst that can happen is being rejected in front of other people! If there are people present, take their arm and try to slide away from the others. Perhaps if you can slip into a semi-private corner or at least to where the others are not within hearing distance.

2. Act like you feel sorry, and smile at the right times.
Make sure you smile regretfully, like you really just wish you could give them a chance but it's not going to happen. This will soften the actual blow from the words.

3. Cheer them up a little. Be very kind to the person; being kind makes it easier on them.
Be sure that your kindness does not stray into pity. The worst thing in a rejection is pity. They have put all their dignity and pride on the line, and pitying them will only make it harder on both of you to stay calm. If you act like you really don't want this person, be prepared for their reactions, mostly dejection, awkwardness and pain.

4. Use a calm, collected voice when speaking to them. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Take a pause before you say anything and think of the best thing to say to either end all of the attraction instantly or keep them as a friend. Act like you care when you say "No", or you may start waterworks.
------------------

* You have to understand how degrading it is for boys to be rejected.
* Don't be so rude to them! What point would there be in trying not to break their heart if you're rude!?
* If the person gets mad, stay calm and keep acting a little sorry, but happy as well to try to calm them down.
* The best thing to say when turning down someone that you do know or will have to see on a regular basis is that you have stronger feelings as friends. This gives them their answer, without giving them any hope for the future.
* If this is a person that you don't like at all, or will not have to ever see again, then keep the rejection as blunt as possible without being unnecessarily mean. This guarantees that they will not try again and will also not say bad things about you when you're not around.
* It is also possible to say that you are honoured that they have feelings for you but it is not possible at this time for you to return them, but you hope that you can remain friends.

* Do not flirt with them during or anytime soon after the rejection. It is very easy to just charm them with a compliment as you let them down, but be sure not to lay it on too thick or the "No" you are issuing will not be heard.

* If you feel,however, that although now is not the right time, but maybe someday, give them hope with clear outlines. Let them know where they stand and perhaps what is holding you back from saying yes now.

Love Hurts

ynkadr@gmail.com — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:18:00 +0000

How love hurts and several quotes from well known authors regarding how much pain a feeling of love can cause.

Love is great when it is fresh and happening and when you feel it slipping away, both the times love makes us feel there is nothing like love in our life. Though love gives a certain high at the time when both of you are feeling the same things, there is nothing more painful that your love going away.love hurts

Love hurts so much that at times it leaves you in depth of sadness which is certainly larger than the high of happiness it gave you. A breakup is the thing about love, a reason that prompts many to avoid being in love. Many simply ignore the realization that they are in love because they dread the time when this feeling will wear itself off and the remains of love will be torn to shred by arguments and fights and usual drifting away.

Many famous people have fallen in love again and again only to grow apart and feel the sadness that love tends to give after it goes away. There are very less numbers of people who have not experienced love and almost all who have experienced love have experienced the heartbreak that follows love, bar a few lucky ones. Many writers have expressed their feelings about how love hurts in most apt way and that is through quotes.

As famous poet and writer Oscar Wilde puts it, “when one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others, that is what the world calls romance.”

Love is blind and has been proven more than one time, often couples in love do not see stark differences that are obvious to others in their personality. Love often makes people do things and act in certain ways, that are surprising to others as well as themselves, heart wants to love whether or not brains allows it, therefore, rational decision making rarely takes place when people are in love.

There are quotes made by other famous literary giants like William Shakespeare who wrote “The courses of true love never did run smooth!” this happens to be true too, most passionate love affairs have ended up rather tragically, with either the couple breaking up with some one causing the breakup or one among the couple passing away. Whenever there is true love there is no dearth of troubles coming its way.

There is another quote from an anonymous author who quotes, “Why is it always that we don’t know when love happens, and we always know the moment it ends?” True some people though they do recognize the feeling of love, and they know that they are in love tend to ignore it to the extent they can. It is mere fear of the break up and the denial that love cannot happen to them makes them react in such a way to love, however whenever love has ended we accept it and face it faster than we recognized it.

End of love means end of the world for some, where people are unable to comes to terms with the end in relationship often get depressed and are more likely to try drastic methods since they cannot stand the pain end of relationship brings together. There is a proverb that proves love to be a truthful thing it is “where there is love there is pain”. Love can bring up pain in different forms not just through break up.

Love gives pain whenever your beloved is in pain or suffering. Love ensures that you will suffer as much or maybe more when your beloved is suffering just because you cannot do anything to ease out the pain and the emotional turbulence your beloved is going through.

Another quote by William Shakespeare proves how difficult it can be to comes to terms with a breakup, he quotes “Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs.” This quote speaks so much about feeling of losing out on something precious that a breakup tends to bring. No wonder people who have been through this feeling sigh away their sadness.

All pain that there is in love is given all the more aptly by George Granville, who writes “Of all pains, the greatest pain, is to love, and to love in vain.” Whenever feelings of love are not reciprocated or the relationship that one values so much is not valued equally by the partner, definitely the feeling of loving in vain would come. The feeling of not being esteemed as much as you esteemed another person will surely cause pain.

Love hurts through different ways, you can be in love and with the one you love and still be hurt, or a breakup in a relationship can hurt. It does not take a long time to end a relationship, but it surely takes a lifetime to forget someone you once loved so dearly.

Into you or not?

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:54:00 +0000

It is said that the love of a man for woman could be recognized very easily but it is very difficult to define it.

There are no clear-cut formulae to explain love. However, here are a few tips that had been provided by people who are supposed to be knowledgeable in matters of love.

* The man can't seem to stop talking to you everyday.
* He is not dating anybody else except you.
* He starts treating your mother the way he treats his own mother.
* He starts using possessive words like "we", "our", and "us" more during conversations with you, particularly when he is talking about the future.
* He is keeping a photo of yours on his desk.
* He starts keeping your favorite food items in his refrigerator.
* He bestows top priority to you over his work and other relationships.
* He keeps saying nice things about you when he talks to his friends.
* He does all your errands without the least hesitation.
* He keeps looking at you in the most admiring way even when prettier women are around.

Remember that love in real life is not as easy as it is shown in movies.

When a man is in love with you, the chances of breaking up are much higher. Even ordinary actions assume enormous importance in love, whether they are positive or negative. Hence, when you think that a man is in love with you, you should handle the entire matter with kid gloves.

Start taking a genuine interest in what he likes and dislikes, his tastes, habits, etc. It helps you in understanding him better. Further, with such knowledge, you would be able to avoid rubbing him the wrong way, which is as important as pleasing him. When a man loves you, he starts giving lot of importance to you. Open flirting might not always mean that the man loves you but the bestowal of more attention to what you say and what you like is a definite sign of love. He would hasten to act all your requests, irrespective of the time of the day. Even if you call him at 2-00 a.m. in the morning and tell him that you have headache but out of stock of the medication, he would rush to a 24-hour drugstore, get the medicine and come to your place with that.

It is very difficult for men to show their love in an open manner. Even the most courageous man would become a coward when it comes to the woman he loves. His speech would be halting and hesitant. He would start to say something, stop, think it over again and then utter what is in his mind.

It is because he is just getting to know you better and still not sure whether you would like what he says. Even though women are usually more guarded in the initial stages, men are equally nervous around the women they love. However, the man who is in love with you would take extra steps in pleasing you. He would groom his hair and straighten his dress more often, when he is with you. Such acts reveal that he wants to look good for you.

Take a mental note of them. He would talk to you in a low voice so that others would not be able to hear what he says. This would mean that he wants the conversation to be exclusively between him and you. He would compliment you not only in person but also to his friends. He would speak highly of you to others. He would go the extra mile in showing respect to your mother, if you happen to introduce her to him. He would call you several times a day without any special reason.

Whenever he is talking about the future, he would tend to use words like "we", "us", and "our" than "I", "me", and "mine". Use of such words is a sure sign of his planning a future long-term relationship with you. He would be keeping your photo on his work desk as well as in his room. He would be stocking all the food and beverage items that you like, so that you are not disappointed at any time, if you are hungry when you are at his place. He would tend to look at you in an admiring way whenever he is with you.

While you are leaving, he would keep looking at your back till you disappear from his view. He would arrive early for a meeting and would leave after you, if he is not accompanying you to your place. Even when he drops you at your home, he would wait till you have entered the house and closed the door before leaving. All these telltale signs would definitely show that the man is in love with you and desires a long-term relationship with you. Act positively and let not this chance pass you by.

Love Stories

ynkadr@gmail.com — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:51:00 +0000

A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding through the night. They loved each other a lot.....
Girl:"slow down a little.. I'm scared.."
Boy: "No, it's so fun.."
Girl: "please..it's so scary.."
Boy: "Then say that you love me.."
Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug.."

The girl gave him a big hug.

Girl: "Now can you slow down?"
Boy: "Can you take off my helmet and put it on? It's uncomfortable and it's bothering me while i ride."

The next day, there was a story in the newspaper. A motorcycle had crashed into a building because its brakes were broken.
There were two people on the motorcycle, of which one died, and the other had survived...The guy knew that the brakes were broken. He didn't want to let the girl know, because he knew that the girl would have gotten scared.
Instead, he was told the last time that she loved him,got a hug from her,put his helmet on her so that she can live, and die himself...

Once in a while, Right in the middle of an ordinary life, Love gives us a fairy tale...

"Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well"

*************************** Story 2 ***************************

Nurse: "It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's, presented to have sutures (stitches) removed from his thumb.

He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I (nurse) took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour befor e someone would to able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed,so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. Asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning somewhere else,as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease.

As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him. "And you are still going every morning,even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Good friends are like stars...You don't always see them, but you always know they're there

*************************** STORY 3 ***************************

The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with the white cane made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, using her hands to feel the location of the seats, walked down the aisle and found the seat he'd told her was empty. Then she's settled in, placed her briefcase on her lap and rested her cane against her leg.

It had been a year since Susan became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis she had been rendered sightless, and she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness, anger, frustration and self-pity. 'How could this have happened to me?' she would plead, her heart knotted with anger.
But no matter how much she cried or ranted or prayed, she knew the painful truth, her sight was never going to return.
A cloud of depression hung over Susan's once optimistic spirit. All she had to cling to was her husband Mark.

Mark was an Air Force officer and he loved Susan with all his heart. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink into despair and was determined to help his wife gain the strength she needed to become independent again.

Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She used to take the bus, but was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. Mark volunteered to drive her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city. At first, this comforted Susan and fulfilled Mark's need to protect his sightless wife who was so insecure about performing the slightest task. Soon, however Mark realized that this arrangement wasn't working - it was hectic, and costly.

Susan is going to have to start taking the bus again, he admitted to himself. But just the thought of mentioning it to her made him cringe.
She was still so fragile, so angry. How would she react?

Just as Mark predicted, Susan was horrified at the idea of taking the bus again. "I'm blind!" she responded bitterly. "How am I supposed to know where I'm going? I feel like you're abandoning me."

Mark's heart broke but he knew what had to be done. He promised Susan that each day he would ride the bus with her until she got the hang of it.

And that is exactly what happened. For two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform and all, accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses to determine where she was and how to adapt to her new environment. He helped her befriend the bus drivers who could watch out for her, and save her a seat. Each morning they made the journey together, and Mark would take a cab back to his office.

Although this routine was even more costly and exhausting than the previous one, Mark knew it was only a matter of time before Susan would be able to ride the bus on her own. Finally, Susan decided that she was ready to try the trip on her own. Monday morning arrived, and before she left, she threw her arms around Mark, her temporary bus riding companion, her
husband, and her best friend. Her eyes filled with tears of gratitude for his loyalty, his patience, his love.

She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.

Monday, Tuesday,

Wednesday, Thursday.... Each day on her own went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better.

On Friday mor ning, Susan took the bus to work as usual. As she was paying for her fare to exit the bus, the driver said, "Boy, I sure envy you."

Susan wasn't sure if the driver was speaking to her or not. After all, who on earth would ever envy a blind woman who had struggled just to find the courage to live for the past year? "Why do you envy me?"

The driver responded, "It must feel so good to be taken care of and protected like you are." Susan had no idea what the driver was talking about, "What do you mean?" The driver said, "You know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you when you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches you until you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss, gives you a little salute and walks away. You are one lucky lady."

Tears of happiness poured down Susan's cheeks. For although she couldn't see him, she had always felt Mark's presence. She was blessed, so blessed, for he had given her a gift more powerful than sight, a gift she didn't need to see to believe - the gift of love that can bring light where there had been darkness.

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her..."

So if you love someone be faithful to that person.

*************************** STORY 4 ***************************

From the very beginning, girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrelled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vents her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl:

"I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?" The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in &
agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas,continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls.
Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. when she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed.. She realized that she was badly injured.

Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could
come out of her mouth was just a sigh. she had lost her voice....

The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out fromher, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,..it's still just silence cry that accompanied her.

Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the
phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying.... The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learns sign language & started a new life. Te lling herself everyday that she must forget the guy.
One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let
him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.
A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing ainvitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.

He used sign language to tell her "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to Give. Treat every moment as is it's the last day, then you'll know how to treasure.

Treasure what you have right now, or else you will regret one day...
-----from : Ontanggabe Parulian --thanks buddy

Signs of a lying partner

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0000

How to read the signs of a lying partner

Are you being lied to?

Knowing whether you are being lied to or not, does not require mind reading or psychic power.

Understanding the difference between the truth and a lie can all be determined by a person's behavior, and if you pay attention to these behaviors, you will be able to have a better idea of whether you are being lied to or not.

The most important thing you should always remember to do however is to trust your instincts. If you feel you are not getting the entire truth from your partner for some reason, then listen to your instincts.

Most people are in good touch with their instincts, but rather not listen to that inner voice because they refuse to believe that their partner would deceive them in any way. Staying in touch with your instincts will help guide you in the right direction.

Though instincts are a great help, they can be tricky. Majority of the times, your instincts will not lie to you, but there are times when your instincts can be influenced by your fears and insecurities. For example, you may already have fears of being cheated on, therefore you may feel that your partner is lying to you and cheating on you, when in fact he or she may be telling you the truth and completely faithful to you. This is why it is essential to understand the behavior of a liar, so that you define the difference between really catching on to a liar, or just being paranoid that your partner is lying to.

signs of lying

One important thing to remember is that the body never lies. If there are changes in the way your partner moves (or not moves) his/her arms, hands, head and the way his/her eyes shift, then you are most likely being lied to. The reason the body language changes when a person is lying is because the person now has to think of a way to seem convincing that he/she is telling the truth. Since he/she knows that whatever they are telling you is a lie, the behavior automatically changes, because they are now trying to act truthful, instead of actually being truthful. One big sign to look out for is in the eyes. If your partner avoids eye contact with you, then he/she is lying to you. There is a fear that you will see through him or her if there is eye contact, so eye contact will be avoided.

Whether you realize it or not, your body also communicates when you talk. When you are enthusiastic about telling your partner something and are telling the truth, you will move your hands around and will look into his/her eyes to make a connection. If your partner is lying however, he or she will tense up, will most likely tone down on the hand movement and eye connection and will seem different than other times. If your partner is the type to still move his/her hands around even when he/she is lying, then pay attention to the timing of the movements. Timing is everything and can define the difference between the truth and a lie. When a person is telling the truth for example, his/her hands (and whatever body movement he/she does) will move at the same time when telling you something. When he/she is lying however, the body language will be off and will usually come shortly after he/she has told you the lie. This is because they have to think about acting natural, and this thinking causes them to be off key, not to mention they are not really telling you the truth.

Another sign of a lying partner is if he/she touch his/her nose or face a lot while talking to you. They will feel nervous about telling you lies and will want to occupy their hands somehow as a way to cover up their lie, such as touching the nose, rubbing their eyes and so on. Your partner may even clear his or her throat more than usual than talking to you, look away a lot and/or say 'umm' when lying to you. They are using these as time killers so they can think of how to tell you the lie in the most convincing way possible. These are just some of the signs of a lying partner and are the most common signs.

Remember, it is always important to trust your instincts first. If you feel that your partner is lying to you, start paying closer attention to his/her behavior and if there are any changes, then you will be able to catch on to the lies better and can further investigate from that point.

Five Reasons to get married and Five Reasons not to get married

ynkadr@gmail.com — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:38:00 +0000

To Marry or...

Getting married is once in a lifetime decision for many people. When people wish to get married, invariably all of them expect a full life together. Very few would think of marriage as a short-term exercise. Hence, it is very much necessary that all aspects of a life together be fully analyzed before tying the knot. Usually men and women tend to have different perspectives about married life. It would be better to have open and honest discussion to sort out the possible future irritants or at least understand them so that some sort of compromise could be arrived at.

The reasons that a man looks at while desiring to marry her are innumerous. However, a few of them top the list in order of priority. For most men, the need of a woman in life is necessitated by the motherly love that he had received in his early life. He needs a woman who can show him the same love and who could fulfill his physical and emotional needs. That is why many men look for the same qualities in a woman that their mothers possess. The second reason is to have a lifetime companion, who can share his desires and needs. The third reason is love. When a man feels that he loves a particular woman, he wants to own her fully. This might appear to be a wrong reason but that is the way humans are made. Everybody likes to possess what he or she desires and human relationships are no different. In some cases, the man might marry a woman because she has become pregnant and is carrying his child. Certain men wish to marry a woman who is having the same career as his, so that they would be able to adapt to each other better. It is quite usual for a doctor to marry a doctor and a lawyer to marry a lawyer. They would be able to understand the work pattern and the workload of each other. However, few others are very particular that the woman is having a different profession, so that their interests do not clash. This choice depends on the outlook of the individual.

In short men marry women for the following main reasons.

The wish to continue the motherly love received in childhood.
Desire to have a lifetime companion.
The love the man has for the woman.
The woman having become pregnant by him.
To have a woman who has a similar career for easier adaptability.

Women also marry men for nearly the same reasons. However, one important reason that women have in marriage is to escape from parents that they do not like or from a parent who is abusive. Sometimes, men also marry for this reason but the number is much lesser than women. So the reasons for a woman marrying a man can be enumerated as follows.

Wish to escape from parents.
Desire to have a lifetime companion.
Love for the man.
Having become pregnant by the man.
To have a man having a similar career for easier adaptability.

The reasons for getting married are quite obvious. On the other hand, the reasons for not getting married are much more complicated. In fact, it would be difficult to mention reasons for not getting married. However, the reasons for a marriage becoming a failure could be discussed with more ease. There are several jokes about marriage but nearly all of them are at the expense of the woman. There should be some strong reasons for that. Probably, the main reasons are the innumerable needs that women have that drain the purse of a man and the continuous nagging that women indulge in after marriage. One joke says that a successful man is one who can make more money than his wife spends but a successful woman is one who finds such a man. Many women tend to nag the men too much after marriage. They try to compare their husbands with other men who are more successful in life, which is resented by the husbands. Wives also tend to give free advice to men as to what they should and should not do, which is also not liked by many men.

Infidelity is one more reason that could harm the institution of marriage. Both men and women, who are quite possessive, would be repelled when they come to know about extra-marital relationships, leading to separation. Physical incompatibility is the cause for break-up in several cases. Even loss of interest in sexual relationship after some time could lead to a break-up of the marriage. Finally, the conflict in tastes and interests that appeared insignificant before the marriage starts to take a larger picture in married life. Disagreements increase, resulting in final separation.

Even though it would look absurd if we list reasons for not getting married, we could list the reasons that break-up marriage.

Over-spending by the wife and living beyond the man�s income
Continuous nagging, comparing the man to others more successful, and giving unwarranted advice
Infidelity
Physical incompatibility or sharp decrease in sexual interest
Conflict in tastes and interests leading to disagreements and fight

-lovesession

Your Love Personality

ynkadr@gmail.com — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:43:00 +0000

It is an obvious fact that we can learn and know what true love is. What we are often not aware of though, is that there are different love trends. Does it even matter if we understand love trends? If we are in a happy relationship, then that means it is all fine, right? Yes and No. Although, your love with your partner might run smoothly for a while, it can take a turn we often never expect. This is why knowing about love trends is helpful.

What may have turned you or your partner on at first, might not be a turn on later. How is this possible if they seemed so crazy over certain things before? The reason is quite simple and reasonable. When we first get involved with people, the attraction and lust is so strong (not that it would not be later), that the way one seduces the other is not truly focused on, but simply instantly appreciated, since they are so drawn to one another.

As the relationship proceeds and the bond builds, you will start getting in touch with your own style of loving and expecting your partner to match up to it. At times, this will be just the case. Couples can share the same love trend, but at other times, they can differ. If your trends do differ, do not look at it as negative, but as a way to combine them and form a creative love trend together. It should not be one way or the other. There is no such thing as the wrong way to love, except for obsession, controlling and abuse, of course-which is not love anyway, although some feel it is.

How do you even come about recognizing the love personality of yours or your partners? It is not difficult, but does require quite a bit amount of observation. Start by making notes of your romantic qualities and ideas of what great romance, sex and seduction is to you. Do you like walks on the beach and dining at cozy, romantic restaurants? Or do you like setting up your sexual activities by setting up a scene and playing along with it, or just going with the flow? By knowing what trend you follow, you will then be introduced to your romantic identity and know what you need from your partner.

There are several types of love trends that you should know about. It will help you come to a deeper understanding of what type of lover you are and your partner as well. People, whose personalities follow the emotional trend, are lovers who pay attention more to the meaning behind things, instead of the thing itself. A man who does not really care for picnics on the beach may still love the event due to the intention behind it. He sees the effort his mate put into it and sees the love and caring meaning that his mate had when the idea was thought of and planned. Emotional lovers are sensitive and love sharing with their partners and are also very spiritual. They do not hold back from expressing their true feelings.

A Creative trend follower on the other hand, may have some of the same traits as an emotional lover, but focuses more on discovering new things and trying them out, taking risks for a bigger thrill. They love to plan and be a part of interesting activities with their lovers because they like going through adventures and new territories together. These types of lovers are found to be quite exciting because they seem to be more mysterious and full of surprises and imagination.

Then you have the traditional trend follower, who likes to follow the rules of what society considers the right way to handle a relationship. They believe in having one partner, following the dating and romance guides to the point (bringing a girl some flowers when picking her up at the door for a date, just to mention one). They also believe in being organized, being financially responsible and planning the events that will take place in their lives with their partners.

Those are the main trends that most people fall into following. This does not mean that a person who has a certain love trend cannot carry qualities from other trends, however. It just means they in general carry that love personality. There is no trend better than the other either. Each trend is unique and interesting in it�s own way. When two people follow the same trend, it is fabulous because they both know exactly what the other is fond of and what to expect as well. There are hardly mixed signals. Having different trends is also a wonderful thing. When a couple has their individual love personality, it opens the door for each one to learn new ways to love expressions and can create a great trend combination!

Considering and accepting our partner�s different trend of love is extremely important to do. If you do not, it will seems like you are just determined to have the romance in your relationship to go your way, by your trend. This will definitely cause unhappiness and have a very high possibility for your mate to back away from romance with you, because he or she will feel that there is lack of attention towards their needs and trends concerning romancing. So remember to be considerate and learn to adapt to their ways too.

It feels fabulous when our lover is being considerate of our trend, respecting it, following it with us often. You cannot be the one always being considered however. You will then become what is called a Constant Receiver. Constant Receivers are always on the look out for themselves. They never look beyond their trend and the needs that are involved with it. They always observe whether or not they are getting what they need and want from their lovers, and if they feel they could be getting more, they grab more. What about your partner? What are his or her needs? Have you even considered what their trend is about and how you can compromise and follow theirs sometimes? Never let these questions go unnoticed. If you find yourself being a constant receiver, it does not mean you are a bad person, but that you have been a little careless. When you realize this, stop yourself and look deep down. You will probably realize that you are aware of your over receiving, and have been so flattered by it that you got carried away. Once you have sorted this out, you can start returning the favor back to your partner.

Being a Constant Giver also has its down side. Yes, you would be always pleasing your partner, but what about you? Is having your trend considered not important? Of course it is! Do not be too furious with your mate if this happens. Just remember what you just learned about Constant Receivers. Your mate most likely did not ignore your trend needs on purpose, but just got carried away with being pampered. After all, you did you create this situation when you were over giving! So many people fall under this category of giving too much. This is because most people believe it is more important to please their lovers than having their own needs and wants fulfilled. Caring about pleasing your partner is good, but disowning your own romantic identity and needs, is not. Get back on track by getting your guilt in order first. Know that you should not feel guilty for wanting or needing something from your partner. You are entitled to having those needs fulfilled. You also should not look at giving as the good thing, while receiving is the bad thing. They are both good when equally exchanged. Start bringing your romantic trend and needs to your mate�s attention. You can do this by bringing up a good movie that is coming out and letting them know that you really want to see it. Re-teach them that they should give too, instead of always receiving from you.

Just highlight the fact that there are different love trends and that they are all unique and deserve to be followed and participated in. As a couple, you will not only please each other, but learn more about the other as well! As long as you do not forget this and understand the importance of an equal share between giving and receiving, your combination of love personalities will live in a content environment.- Love sessions

Choose The Right Man For You

ynkadr@gmail.com — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 05:44:00 +0000

by freedating datingsitecash

1. Choosing the obvious ones to avoid: addicts, childabusers, chronic gamblers, felons, “boys”, etc. If you always fall in love with the wrong type of men, you should get help. Please seek it. You need to fall in love with the right person

2. Going by sexual attraction alone. That’s a choice your reptilian brain is making which is to say not a choice at all. “Choosing” means weighing alternatives and being rational. Never in life do you want your reptilian brain in charge. It doesn’t “think.”

3. Choosing based on external qualities alone. It’s nice if he’s a hot hunk, but not if he's just another pretty face. Are you choosing a 37' powerboat instead of a man who owns one? His face will change. His toys may disappear. It's "for better or for worse," not "for as long as he can buy me Gucci handbags.” Seek TRUE love!

4. Rushing. Date him long enough to go through actual situations that test what you can't see and touch -- his values, priorities, manners, morals, and interests.

At first you’ll go to hockey games, WWF matches and beer drinking just to be with him, right? Do you really see yourself doing these things every weekend for the rest of your life?

On the same point, is he being nice to your kids just to get to you? Is he willing to go shopping with you and to the museums? Only time will tell.

5. Rushing. Give it time so he can sort out his feelings. Men tend to go from desire to action without thinking .This is why we see them make such poor choices in women, and then do the same thing again. You may be sure, but is he? Follow your heart AND your brain.

6. Rushing. You need time because even a workaholic will give you attention 24/7 at first. Only 6 months down the line will you discover that once he’s “got you,” and knows you love him, so he neglects you. Work comes first, then his golf. He’ll call you when it’s your turn.

7. Not checking out his attitude toward women.
How does he treat his mother? Your friends? His sister?

8. Trusting only your intellect. This means gathering facts, reading experts, not checking in with your intuition, and listening to advice blindly without looking into your heart as well.

Let’s say your best friend, who’s very perceptive, tells you he’s a womanizer. I’d give that some weight, but I’d check it out myself. It won't be hard. Give it time, stay awake and you’ll see.

Another example – You made the list of what you wanted. There he is in front of you, lacking 3 of the 6 items on your list, but you adore him. You really click. That’s a good time to go back and rethink your list. You’re alway sentitled to change your mind.

9. Trusting only your feelings. Come now, do you really think you can make a life with someone who is (admittedly) darling and sexy BUT hates your religion, has different morals and ethics than you do, has already alienated your father, wants kids while you don’t, refuses to “let” you work, and has already ordered you to get rid of your cat? This is like allowing yourself to fall in love with a married man. Just go stick an ice pick in your eyeball instead.

10. Misunderstanding the nature of feelings. Our emotions give us information. They don’t demand behavior. When I was a teenager I was dating a creep. My father told me I had to quit seeing him. “But I love him,” I said. Said he: “Love someone else.” No, you can’t manufacture feelings, but neither do they have to be acted upon. They can be taken “under advisement” and thought through.

Never say..

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:26:00 +0000

I've got an email with this attachment file. After you read this you can send your comment or even your true story of love life..to share with us.

Never say 'i love you'
if you really don't care

Never talk about feelings
If they are not really there

Never hold my hand
If you are gonna break my heart

Never say you are going to
If you don't plan to start

Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie

Never say 'hi'
If you really mean 'goodbye'

If you really mean forever
Then say you will try

Never say forever
Coz forever makes me cry

What men think about women

ynkadr@gmail.com — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 09:39:00 +0000

Men always find women attractive and try their best to woo her.

A woman always needs to be loved and taken care of. In today�s society women have taken up powerful corporate and social positions and are making headlines. Carly Fiorina of ex. HP CEO and Indra Nooyi of Pepsi are just two examples.
A woman, no matter how powerful, always needs support from a man and vice versa. Men have always lent their shoulders for her to rest on. On the flip side, men have certain complaints about her and we are here to discuss that. annoyed man Imagine you are busy in an important meeting and the phone keeps on ringing, even though you disconnected it a couple of times.
Certainly you would find it dislikable, and this is one point that men find annoying in a woman. Women sometimes fail to understand that her partner or husband have other work apart from answering her calls and tending to her constantly- it makes them seem too needy, which usually a big turn off for a man. Many men find it quite irritating when their partners shout at them because the shirt is not at the proper place or the trousers are lying on the ground, for example- because it comes off as a nagging attitude.

A Man always wants his woman to take active interest in his work and indifference in that aspect definitely annoys him, because he feels she does not care if interest in not genuinely expressed. These factors do not really cause a dent in a relationship necessarily, but definitely small ripples are created. A man and a woman should be careful of not invading into each other�s personal space too much.

Men sometimes do not like the self centered attitude of women. Women are sometimes so worried about themselves that they forget there are other people around. Over possessiveness, jealously and undue interest in other men are certain traits that a man dislikes in a woman. Imagine you both having a coffee and suddenly a good looking man walks in. Your girlfriend suddenly starts to talk about him and gives undue attention and starts comparing you. Is this something that you would appreciate? Certainly not! After all we all have our own feelings and being compared to another man without any justification surely hurts. There are several other factors that can turn off a man�s feeling towards a woman. If a woman tries to exhibit too much of manliness that can definitely turn off a man.

Women often fail to take care of their physical appearance after child birth or after being with their partner for a while. This is something that bothers men, as they are visual creatures. While women do not and should torture themselves to look a certain way and be a certain size, a woman should invest her best efforts in staying in healthy physical shape- for herself and to please her partner.
There is nothing wrong with men and women doing things to please each other, as long as it is done in a healthy manner and no one is being criticized in a hurtful way or having unrealistic expectations put on them.
Some Women are too worried about the materialistic things in life. They forget the finer points in a relationship and become too worried about that big car or a big house. This fact sometimes annoys men, especially if he is not able to fulfill her requirements or it seems like she is never pleased.

To maintain a happy relationship, a woman should always try to understand the parameters of her partner and not push him too hard for materialistic things. Spending too much money on jewelry, clothing and ignoring the needs of her partner sometimes disturb men and make him think of the relationship with doubt.
If you already married, there is another important factor that can play spoilsport in a relationship is the lack of interest in sex. After a certain period in relationship women tend to lose interest in sex. This is something that bothers her partner and leaves him confused. If there is a genuine reason it should be discussed between the partners to enjoy the bliss of togetherness.

Some of the factors mentioned above are truly disturbing for men. The silver lining is all this can be sorted out if the partners try to accommodate each other and share their opinions. A woman should always discuss her problems in a relationship with her partner, rather than gossiping with friends or keeping it all inside, assuming he will figure it out. This may further deepen the dent in a relationship.

Every man craves for a certain amount of importance from his partner. He feels good if he gets priority in the finer things in life from his partner. It is always important for a woman to display her feminine characteristics to the best of her ability. This, along with team work can make a man happy and drive a relationship to the pinnacle of happiness.