Scott

“Hello people!

I have a request. It’s at the bottom, I have to update you a bit first!

A few interns were working on getting a FB group up for Searching for Angela Shelton but it exists already! Nothing like sweet little miracles. The reach of this powerful film continues to amaze me to this day.

Let me remind you – I thought this movie was going to be funny! Oh well… at least it has a very happy ending. I’m alive, I made it out of hell and so did most of the other Angelas and most survivors I speak to. We hit road bumps but we prevail especially when we seek out the support we need.

So I’m seeking out for support from my group! I made the limited version of Searching for Angela Shelton which many of you have. It’s the one with my face covered by the map of the US. That’s symbolic! I didn’t know I was going to have to reveal my soul. Those copies are now pretty much sold out. Yay! There are about 30 or so left…

The new official version has never-before-seen footage and explains more because after I had hundreds of QandAs, I answered a lot of questions in the movie. It also has Closed Captioning for the Hearing Impaired, Spanish Subtitles, and a photo album. The photo album is really cool. You can put the DVD into the player and the pictures move to one of the amazing songs that is in the movie. I love it! It has a director’s commentary too. I made the new version with the uplifting image (the image of this group) in order to show what the end of the movie does for people which is all inspiration and empowerment. This movie changed my life forever and I think that I was just the vehicle through which it came and it has a higher purpose. It’s an honor to be a part of it and to be an Angela Shelton. But I have been running the machine for years now myself and boy… I’m tired and I would love some help.

I have put all of my savings into this, including my house – opps – I really need your help in continuing this grassroots movement. The production house has agreed to pause on my bill to help get the movie out quicker, the new store that has my book as well as the movie and other goodies just lowered their fee to a 1/3 of what it was, and the duplication house just cut their rates because they are fans of the film! If we sell a little over 300 movies we can pay all of them. This movie sells every single day because of the word-of-mouth but that would take me 400 days! So pretty please can you help me get the word out. There are almost 300 of you on here so if you tell 3 people to get the movie, we can pay for it and I’ll have the money to print more!

I have an issue with asking for help and tend to go at it all alone sometimes but my friends just reminded me that there is a movement behind this movie and that I should at least ask. So, here goes – Will you please help me?

The only way this movie has continued for all of these years is because of all of you. Thank you for supporting this movie and for helping me. If any of you want to be officers of this group let me know and I’ll do it! If you have any ideas on getting the word out, let me know that too! If you want to get a T-shirt if you sell more than 20 – let me know!

Until the new store is paid for the movies are still for sale here:

Here’s the new one:
New version

Here’s the original one (only one with the fart)

Original version

I have my fingers crossed.

Angela”

It has taken a year, but I have found two resources that I feel are the best resources out there for rape survivors in crisis. They are both easily accessible, friendly, and best of all, they are provided by people who know exactly what rape survivors need in order to heal. Enough from me. Here they are:

RAINN National Sexual Assault Online Hotline

Two weeks ago, I got an email from RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) informing me that RAINN has created an online hotline similar to their famous telephone hotline (1-800-565-HOPE). I almost jumped for joy. I get emails every day from readers asking me if I know of a good online support line for rape survivors, and now, finally, I can recommend one.

For those who don’t know, RAINN has been running a hotline for rape survivors since 1994. For a lot of survivors, this hotline has been their only source of support. It’s a great resource and it has helped millions of rape survivors.

However, calling a hotline can be very intimidating, and it can be even harder to talk to someone one-on-one about being raped. A lot of the survivors that I have spoken to say that they don’t use hotlines because they are afraid that someone will overhear them or that they will say the wrong thing.

Now, the new RAINN online hotline provides an alternative for survivors who aren’t comfortable using the phone. It allows survivors to communicate directly with a RAINN counsellor in a totally secure, private chatroom setting. RAINN has set the chatroom up to be completely anonymous. The software will not track you or your computer, and the counsellor won’t ask you where you live or who you are. They are just there to help you if you have been raped and you are in crisis. It is totally private, totally anonymous, and you are in total control of the conversation.

Check it out.

RAINN National Sexual Assault Online Hotline

Beginning To Heal

I get a lot of emails from people asking if I can recommend a good “first book” for childhood sexual abuse survivors, sort of a first aid guide to help get through those painful and confusing early days of healing. Until now, I haven’t been able to recommend anything, but two months ago, someone directed me to the book “Beginning To Heal” by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis.

Beginning to Heal is actually a condensed version of “The Courage To Heal,” also by Ellen and Laura, and it is set up as a quick, easy-to-follow guide to the major elements of healing from sexual abuse. It is a well-written, friendly and helpful book, and it will help you explore and understand how your abuse is affecting you, and how you can begin to heal the damage that it has caused. It’s the book I wish I had back when I was beginning my recovery.

You can read more about Beginning to Heal at the Harper Collins website and even buy a copy. Also, your local library may have a copy. If you need a guide for your healing, I can’t recommend this book enough.

I believe in the healing power of creative expression, and especially in the power of writing. Writing allows you to have a safe place to explore your own emotions and feelings, and it has an incredible way of helping you connect with your inner self. I think that if you learn to write, and you learn to trust your writing, you will be well along the path to recovery.

In this article, I am going to share some of the things that I did to get started with my healing journal, and I’ll also share some of the tricks I use to “protect” my writing.

Getting Started

The first big decision to make when you are starting a journal is to decide whether you will be writing by hand or using a computer. I always write my journal by hand because I find that it allows me to be much closer to my writing than using a keyboard. Writing by hand also allows you to write anywhere, which is a pretty big bonus. I love writing in coffee shops, but I hate lugging my laptop along.

If you decide to write by hand, the next thing to do is get something to write with, and something to write on. Pen and paper. Here’s where you get to have a little fun. Go out and buy yourself a notebook and a pen. Treat yourself. One of the big secrets about writing is that it is actually pretty enjoyable, and it is great to have a good pad and pen, so splurge a bit.

Once you have picked out your notebook and pen, it’s time to start writing.

Just Write!

In her book, “The Artist’s Way,” writer Julia Cameron teaches a form of journaling called “Morning Pages.” I have found morning pages to be one of the best ways to keep a journal, and they are also a very good healing tool.

The instructions for writing morning pages are very simple. Every morning, before you do anything else, you write three pages in your journal. You can write about anything. If you want to write a story, write a story. If you want to make a list, make a list. If you can’t think of anything to write, just write “I can’t think of anything to write because…” and keep on going. Write whatever you want, and then go on with your day.

Morning pages take a while to work. It took me about 3 weeks of writing morning pages before I began to see a difference in my life, however once I got into the habit, I began to notice subtle changes in how I felt. I noticed a drop in my anxiety and I found it easier to manage stressful situations. As time goes by, you will begin to trust your morning pages as a safe refuge. No matter what is troubling you, you will know that next morning you can write about it in your morning pages.

In additional to morning pages, I also write in my journal every night. In the evening I usually try to review my day. I write a few words about what happened that day, how I feel about it, and any questions or concerns that are bothering me. I find that writing these evening notes helps me rest my mind before I go to sleep so that I’m not lying in bed awake, stewing over things, and when I wake up, I’m ready to write about the questions that I wrote down in my evening notes the night before. Together, morning pages and evening notes form a daily cycle that keeps me grounded and stable.

Privacy

When I began keeping a journal, one of my biggest fears was that someone else would find it and read it. To be honest, I still worry sometimes that someone will get hold of my journal. I’ve got all my private thoughts and fears in there, and I’d be devastated if someone else read my journal without my permission.

That said, I also find that keeping a journal makes me feel very secure. There is something comforting about having a place where I can write my deepest fears and highest hopes. It’s like having a secret refuge.

There’s no foolproof way to protect your journal. When I first started writing my journal, I used a computer, so I could password protect the files, but now that I am writing by hand, I don’t really have any way of protecting them. To be honest, I usually just toss my journal on my desk or nightstand and don’t think about it.

However, if you are just starting a journal, it is important to find a way to protect it. Some people buy locking notebooks, or lock their journals in their desks. This can provide a sense of security. Some people carry their journals with them all the time.

If you are living with people who you can trust, another way to keep your journal private is to tell them that you are keeping a journal. That way they will know that if they do find your journal, they aren’t supposed to read it.

Sharing Your Journal

I almost never share my journal. It is far too personal and I usually find it very difficult to explain what I mean when I try to tell people about what I have been writing. Plus, a lot of what I write in my journal makes me feel very vulnerable, and I’m not always ready to open that vulnerability to other people.

My advice is that you should only share what is in your journal if you are comfortable doing so. It is your journal, your thoughts, and your feelings. If you want to share them, then share them. If you want to keep them to yourself, then keep them to yourself. Your journal is for you only. There is no reason for anyone else to read it.

As you get more into the habit of keeping a journal, you may find that it becomes easier for you to talk about your thoughts and your feelings without feeling exposed or vulnerable. When I was in therapy for PTSD, I rarely shared my deepest thoughts with my therapist, but because I was keeping a journal, I found that I could talk to him more openly about my fears. It’s as though the journal gave me a safe place to look at my thoughts and choose which ones I felt safe taking to my therapist.

There will be people who say that you should tell them what you are writing in your journal. They usually begin by saying something like “I’m afraid that you are writing things about me.” Well maybe you are. It is none of their business. Don’t let anyone pressure you into revealing what you have written. It will only leave you feeling betrayed and vulnerable.

Reading Your Journal

Every 2 months or so, I’ll go back and quickly skim through my journal. I used to read it every week, but I found that didn’t really help me. I would see that something I didn’t like (”my boss was such a jerk on Monday!”) and then I’d get it stuck in my head. By waiting longer to read it, I found that I was able to see things in a broader perspective. (”Oh that was when my boss got mad at me. I found out later that he was having problems with his boss.”)

When I read through my journal, I try to see what I have been thinking and whether there are any patterns emerging in my life that I have missed. Sometimes I’ll write down certain keywords or recurring themes, or I’ll write down notes about relationships or issues that are bothering me. These reviews let me get a better idea of the big picture and they help me keep a better perspective on my life.

Healing

It can be difficult to sense how your journal is helping you heal. I find that keeping a journal keeps me feeling grounded; that no matter how much something bothers or confuses me, I can write out my feelings. I have also found that keeping a journal has helped me understand some of the larger patterns in my life. One of the greatest gifts of journaling is how it can broaden your perspectives.

In my opinion, the greatest benefit that journaling can bring, is that it can give you a very strong sense of safety and security. Writing things down has a way of making problems seem a little less scary and a little easier to manage. The first time that I wrote about the man who molested me, it made him seem less frightening. He was still a monster, but he was a monster who couldn’t stop me from writing about how he made me feel, and by writing down how he made me feel, I gained a bit more safety and he became a bit less scary. Even now, when
something is really scaring me or making me sad, I always write about it and I always find that the writing has made me feel a little better about things.

That’s really the gift of writing. It gives you a place where you can be completely honest with yourself, where you can talk about your pain in safety, and where you can connect with your innermost thoughts. Writing may not be able to completely heal the pain and frustration of mental illness, but it does help you build a safe, solid foundation in your life.