Fingerprints On My Window

My Mother's Purse

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sun, 07 May 2017 15:15:00 +0000

Yesterday was a sad day in the journey of taking care of my mother. I cleaned out some clothes from her closet and found her purse in a drawer. I asked the beloved care provider at the home about the purse and she confirmed that mom does not use it or look for it any longer.

A little over a year ago, my Dad left this planet and with him, the best medicine my mom ever had for her dementia. They were a brain trust! He talked to her and oriented her to the day's events and she fixed him food and cared for him like no other.

My parents were together for 50+ years. They blended two broken families crippled by the loss of a parent, into one family and raised 10 kids. They worked together selling medical books, a job my mom took over when my dad "~~retired~~" stopped officially working. She was 16 years younger than my dad and the love of his life. She was smart, capable, organized and had a successful professional career as a book salesman and regional manager, that started when I (her baby) was in high school.

Twenty two years ago when we invited my parents to move out to some land and live next to us, we promised to take care of them as they aged. I had no idea what we were promising. My help which started out with taking care of their bills and travel arrangements, grew to running a staff of five and being "on call" at all hours to assist my parents with whatever they needed.

One of my favorite examples of this is the time they called me to tell me the phone wasn't working. I questioned this, as I pointed out we were talking on the phone at this very moment. They insisted it was a miracle we were talking and most of the phones in the house were "going down". I raced home to help rescue the sinking ship of phones.

Once Dad was gone, we moved Mom to a board and care facility with memory assistance. I visited often and took her out on the town for mexican food, church, manicures and hamburgers. In the home she was always asking and looking for my dad, her purse and me. A little over a year has passed and my mom is slipping away without my dad's diligent reminders and frequent nagging. She is more settled in the home, but she is too weak to take out on outings and no longer is looking for her purse.

It took me aback when I stumbled onto it in her drawer. I am thankful she is more settled at her facility, but sad she is not missing her purse in a strange way. Another piece of my mom slipping away.

I brought the purse home and it sat on my desk for a while. Then I forced myself to go through it. It doesn't feel right to go through someone's purse before their body has left this planet. It dawned on me, I never pictured doing this unless I had said my goodbyes and attended her funeral. But this is not the case with dementia. The standard rules do not apply. I placed her wallet in the financial box I keep my parent's paperwork in, next to my dad's wallet. Again the strange feelings washed over me, for my Dad was physically gone, but my mom is still here. I had an urge to put her wallet back together and place it in her purse and rush it back to her. I pushed those urges away as I wiped away a tear.

My mom is leaving this planet slowly, painfully and ever so slightly every day. Her grey curly hair and blue eyes are still with us, but her grasp on who she was is vanishing. I am thankful she still recognizes me and can laugh at my silly antics, but the body that I visit holds just a whisper of my mother.

Her purse now sits by my door and I am thinking of taking it to the goodwill or other charity organization where I have deposited far too many of my parent's belongings. The purse may have to wait and go back in my closet until my mother's body and mind are together once again some day in heaven. Perhaps, Then and only then will I truly believe she doesn't need it anymore.

I am back.

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Mon, 01 May 2017 05:51:00 +0000

I am back! I have returned to my Blog after a long break.

I didn't intend to take such a break, it just seemed like Facebook stole my blog. Then as human nature would have it, once some considerable time passed, I lost my account info.

A lot has changed in the seven years since my last post.

My Artist is in college working on his multi-media production degree.

My Bookworm is finishing up her senior year in high school and will be leaving the nest this fall to study chemical engineering.

My father passed away last year a few months after celebrating his 100th birthday.

My love and I keep carrying on, working in the vineyard and working at our jobs.

I will once again try to capture the moments of our lives and work on the craft of writing.

Bookworm and Artist

Harvest 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 22:35:00 +0000

A feeling of familiarity washed over me this year at harvest time. Now in our fifth harvest, everyone knows the rhythm and routine of the activities. The guys are in the vineyard first as I rise early to brew coffee and wake the kids. We all head out through a layer of early morning fog to greet the tractor and bins just starting to be filled with fruit. The kids join in with the picking crew and I start my routine of dumping bins. I check on all the workers, find the fullest picking bin, and exchange it for an empty so the crew can keep picking without interruption. This also provides my love with an even flow of fruit to sort and check. Moving through the vineyard, carefully gathering and switching full bins for empties, one by one I lift and dump the fruit.

This year my son’s friend and my niece joined in the fun. My niece tried out all the various jobs, but settled on working the large bins with my love for quality control. My daughter, son and his friend stayed on picking duty, and I continued my workout of dumping the little harvesting bins into the big ones. Our good friend and vineyard photographer captured our harvest through photos which is always appreciated and The local press came to film. My parents joined in as the harvest was finishing up.

I am thankful for another harvest and for the people who make it happen. Our harvest team encompasses an age range of 10 to 94. Being goal oriented, I love when all the fruit is delivered and there is a sense of completion to the growing season, but of course the work is never really done. Next week we will remove the netting and start to put the vineyard to bed for the winter.

Wedding Bells

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:42:00 +0000

Last July I traveled to Texas to attend a niece's wedding. This niece was the flower girl in my own ceremony in 1991. I traveled by air with my daughter and parents in tow. Many from my big family made the trip. I have two siblings who live in Texas so we stayed with my sister. My brother, the father of the bride, had his hands full getting ready for the wedding.

We had 16 people staying in a five bedroom house and we used every inch of the floor plan! My daughter and I camped in the front living room with more female kins folk. It was wonderful to be with both of my sisters and all our girls (the sistercousins).

We were having fun shopping, doing nails and generally staying up way to late. We had several fashion shows trying to determine what to wear and what not to wear to the wedding.

The low point = 16 sleep deprived people in one house with a 4 cup coffee pot!

The high point = Watching my 94 year old father dance with my 10 year old daughter, (these two danced the most of any one that night.. the oldest and the youngest.)
Reflecting back on my own wedding 18 years ago. Witnessing my flower girl now a bride, make one of the biggest commitments in life.

My hope for her... that she will enjoy the journey of building a life together with her love as I have with mine.

Check Out Those Turtles!

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 22:35:00 +0000

On a trip south to meet some friends at the beach, we took a break at a favorite park in Santa Barbara. We were surprised to find so many turtles ...

My children who love to count things, counted 80 on one bank alone. I think there were hundreds in the whole pond. It reminded us of the turtle we found in our own pond.

"Don't forget the plastic bags!"

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 15:00:00 +0000

Being a California girl, I love the beach. When we decided to move to the country and plant a vineyard, I was more than pleased to find a vineyard location not too far from the coast. I faithfully take my kids to the beach every summer. Unlike Southern California where I was raised, the summers on the central coast provide very cold water temps. The importance of wet suits for my kids was a reality I learned early on. The problem is getting wet suits on and off caused an enormous scene on the beach. I would struggle every summer getting my kids into the wetsuits. We provided endless entertainment for onlookers as I would pull, prod, peel and push trying to get my kids in their suits.

Finally frustrated with this this routine, I googled solutions for the problem. We stumbled onto the plastic bag solution. You place a standard plastic grocery bag on the child's foot and put their foot into the wetsuit, once the foot is in you slide the plastic bag out and off. Repeat this step for each foot and hand. Miraculously with the child's foot in the bag it glides easily through the wet suit.

Let a plastic bag give you a helping hand!

Now as we head out for the beach my children are usually yelling, "do you have the plastic bags?", "Mom get the plastic bags!".

The Mystery of the Missing Frying Pan

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 16:17:00 +0000

A story from last summer's heat wave...
Each night for the past week I kept looking for my medium size frying pan.

I have been looking every where.

I checked with my mother, I scoured the cupboards, I started to believe I was loosing my mind. Where could it be?

Several nights I would end up cooking one item in the large frying pan then transferring the food, followed by washing the pan and cooking the next item in the same pan.

HELP

Fast forward to Friday night, I finally get around to asking my two guys about it. They quickly respond " oh yeah .. it's outside by the truck on the lid of the trashcan." My son continues "I was doing an experiment to see if I could cook an egg in the pan on the hood of the truck in the high heat and it cooked most of the way!"

Mystery solved and I am relieved I am not loosing my mind, at least not this week. Why both family members of the male persuasion thought it was perfectly acceptable to leave the pan outside by the garbage is beyond me.

Artist Artist, how does your garden grow?

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sat, 30 May 2009 20:26:00 +0000

My son the artist made the decision in April to grow a garden. I take on a lot of activities on the property, but gardening is not one of them. I don't do much outside unless it is in the vineyard. He took the initiative, worked the dirt, found the pots, and planted the seeds. He even decorated with some extra stone and mulch scavenged from dad's piles.

The garden is doing very well and he faithfully waters it every day!

Lights...Camera...Action

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Thu, 21 May 2009 06:15:00 +0000

A fashion themed birthday bash for my bookworm's tenth birthday!

Nine guests + the birthday girl makes ten. Fun outside with the sunflower house and the swing set.

A Fashion Photo Shoot.

We hung a sheet as a backdrop and used fans and lighting for the before and after photos.

Lots of props.... beads, gloves, fans and make up.

A chocolate fountain rounded out the fun.

My own version of Design on a Dime

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sun, 03 May 2009 06:28:00 +0000

Last weekend, I felt as if I was the star in my own design on a dime special.

My Bookworm is turning ten and we are redoing her room for her birthday.

I unloaded the contents of my daughters room into the hallway and got ready for my very talented friend to come over and paint.

Meanwhile the phone rings and this same friend was at a special antique show that had come to town. She encouraged me to come check out a vanity she thought would work in the room. Our plan was to ditch the dresser, put more clothes in her closet, and refinish an old armoire. My love and I both wanted to add a vanity to the furniture, but hadn't found one yet.

My friend's find was awesome, so I bargained a little and got a very good price and purchased it. We ran to her house, got her truck, loaded it up and headed home. I went in to town for dinner and paint supplies. While in town, I dashed in Ross to look for a small seat, but found a black wire dress form instead. After a little stewing and some phone calls for advice, I went back and bought it. I had already purchased the black wire Eiffel Tower. Still more to do, but the room is well on it's way.

Now the rest of the house doesn't look so hot. Of course I have done no laundry and very few dishes. My son is running out of clean clothes and the piles are piling up. I will get caught up somehow, after the flurry of creativity dies down.

Paint 24.99... Wire Mannequin 34.99.....Antique Vanity...125.00... Eiffel Tower 19.99

The look on my daughter's face...... priceless.

Our Dog Loves Hunting For Eggs Too...

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 21:24:00 +0000

Time to dye the eggs.

We had two cousins in town, so four kids for dyeing and hunting. Our dog wanted to help with the egg dye too!Hunting Time.

Our dog loves Easter and is happy to hunt along with the kids.

She doesn't need a basket, when she finds a real egg she eats it.

If she finds the plastic kind she tries to break it open to get to the candy.

She never tried to steal the kid's eggs, she played fair and square and only kept what she found. Here she is just happy to watch my boy empty his eggs.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Signs of Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 06:47:00 +0000

I love spring with the green hills and blooms bursting. Our property has many bunnies hopping here and there. I have not captured one on film yet, they are pretty fast. Beyond the bunnies and the blooms, I will be playing Handel's Hallelujah Chorus and reflecting on my risen savior, Happy Easter.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Thin Mints in My Glass

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 15:00:00 +0000

So I have written more than one blog post about strange things in strange places. I have written about rocks in my dryer and mud in my hallway. But this is a whole new experience, you can imagine my shock when I placed my glass up to the ice dispenser and out came pieces of thin mints in addition to ice.

My kids had been putting thin mints in the freezer since the girl scout cookies came home, how they got into the ice maker is a mystery.

Love and Faith was his message

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 03:32:00 +0000

A young boy fighting cancer from the age of seven. As a Church we prayed for him and all rejoiced when the cancer went into remission. Many in my church, myself included, struggled over the next 11 years when we heard he was sick again three more times. You finally come to a place where you accept that maybe this was his purpose, a visitor on our earth for a short time to help us all realize what's really important. He liked to say that we are all going to die but he was given the gift of knowing when. A very interesting way to look at it, a person's perspective can have such a profound affect on how they live and die. A very good friend of mine once did a semester long internship with a Hospice agency. I remember her telling me that people die the way they live.

This life challenges me and I am thankful for the reminder and the challenge.

Clayton'sstory.com

Gum Alley

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 00:00:00 +0000

In a neighboring town there is an alley the locals call gum alley.

A little alley tucked away in the downtown. It is called gum alley because since the 1960's people have been putting their chewed gum on the wall. We finally remembered to show our kids the alley last fall.

Most of the gum is just a single chewed piece, but some people get elaborate and write words and draw pictures with the chewed gum.

It is weird, gross and sort of amazing all wrapped into one. My offspring who are germ phobic and love hand sanitzer, voted for mostly gross!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Photo Story Eye Spy

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 04:58:00 +0000

Look closely.....my very own version of Eye Spy
Do you see two people in those trees?

My Artist is in the tree above in a white shirt.

My Bookworm is in this tree in a red shirt.

We have since had a talk that they were way too high!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

To see more photo story posts click here.

My Bookworm on a Photo Safari

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:52:00 +0000

Today I was running to town to take my Artist to a Birthday Party. I left my Bookworm home with My Love. Sometimes when Dad is busy working on the property, he hands our girl the camera so she can entertain herself. She started surprising us a couple of years ago with some really great shots. This is a sample of the best of what she captured today.

Final Curtain

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 20:12:00 +0000

What do you take your 14 year old boy on closing night, while all the girls are getting flowers?

A money bouquet.

He did a great job and we are so proud of him. We are all a little relieved and sad it is over. Yesterday a stranger approached us in the grocery store to say "Hey you were great in that play!"

It was surreal to watch my Artist on stage singing and acting. Five years ago he almost didn't go to the charter art school because he might have to be on stage! The beloved secretary who is known as the queen of the school, assured him he would never be forced to perform on stage. Now in his last year at this school he is front and center and loving it. It is so important to remember children are a work in progress, what they hate one year may be their greatest passion the next. This experience of acting and singing will stay with him, I hope as a reminder that everything and anything is possible.

To make a money bouquet you curl the edges of the bill away from the center then twist the center and place on a wooden stick, use dark twist ties and keep going. we gave him an even dozen!

Oh Brother

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 04:59:00 +0000

Two of my brothers and their wives came to town to visit. One from out of state and one from a different part of California. My two brothers who live close by also joined in the fun. We were pleased to have the company of three of my beautiful adult nieces.

Highlights included:

My brother recording our 93 year old father reminiscing about his life. (3 hours worth!)

Some live bluegrass music, courtesy of two brothers and some good friends.

Alot of laptops, we are quite a "techie" family.

At one point there were five of us with laptops running.

I love my big brothers and their families. I feel very blessed to be part of this big family. We had a fantastic visit. To check out more photostory friday posts click here.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Drama Mama

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:34:00 +0000

I have been neglecting my blog and wine sales, while helping out with my son's school play.

Kudos to all you Soccer Moms and Dance Moms. I have done the Karate Mom thing and now my daughter is in gymnastics, but nothing has been as consuming as this Drama Mama gig. Since I don't sew, I signed up for program duty. I was blessed with a wonderful hard working mom, who is helping me.

My duties include; selling ads for the programs, collecting ads and money, and developing flyers for all of the above. I was also in charge of taking pics of the kids for the program. I took a group shot of the; principals (9), daughters (14) , police (17) and pirates (twenty something). Thank goodness for digital photography! Out of 15 shots of each group I had one or two where I actually had every kid looking at me with eyes open. I also helped out with tracking down feathers for the costumes.

I am so proud of my son, he is doing well with all the rehearsals and memorization of lines. I loved my high school drama teacher and am so excited that one of my children is dabbling in one of my passions. It is a production of the Pirates of Penzance.

My Kids Thoughts on my Bloggy Hobby Revealed

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:43:00 +0000

On the way to a friend's house...

...an interesting traffic jam presented itself that was making us a little late.
As I tried to take this photo, my children started in...

14 year old Artist, "Why are you taking a photo, Is this for your blog?"

9 year old Bookworm, "Hey she needs to prove why we are late."

Bookworm, "Why don't you like her blog it is just a way for her to remember good things in our life, like the turtle." "Do you remember the turtle?"

Artist, "What turtle?"

Bookworm, "See you don't remember it, but her blog has it all remembered."

Artist, "oh whatever."

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek For more photo story friday posts click here.

Goodbye 2008

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 17:09:00 +0000

The last day of 2008 a friend and her family were visiting.

We headed to the beach to enjoy the beautiful coast of California.

The Sand at this beach looks like tiny polished rocks.She brought her four kids and added them to my two.
That makes six pairs of shoes and twelve socks to keep track of.

The weather was surprisingly warm.

The kids enjoyed running in the water and getting their feet wet.

Maybe more than their feet got wet.

I love the spirit of children, rarely do they do something half hearted. The kids ranged in age from 14 to 2 and there was little difference in their approach to experiencing the water and waves. In the end everyone was very wet and sandy. The men were flustered and the women were laughing. We were not at all surprised, with lots of laundry and rocks in my dryer.

For me, as someone who loves the beach and enjoys the company of children, it was a wonderful way to say goodbye to 2008. My new year's resolution is simple for 2009...

Try to experience the beauty of life more like a child,

without reservation, jumping in with both feet and eyes wide open.

Visions of Sugar Plums

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 03:40:00 +0000

I purchased two different gingerbread house kits this year.

Then we added some additional candy.

My kids had so much fun... What a mess...

But it was worth it.

The Christmas Tree Farm

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:36:00 +0000

Going to the tree farm and cutting down our own tree.
A tradition born with our move to the country twelve years ago.

My Bookworm found a baby tree.

We finally decide on a White Fur.

To see more Photostory Friday posts head over to

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Twelve Days of Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Elle) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:00:00 +0000

I continue to have a love/hate relationship with Christmas letters.
I love getting letters from others, I hate trying to write one for our family.

This year I came up with a way to let people know what we have been up to while giving a nod to the familiar 12 days of Christmas song. I had to change some numbers to reflect the real frequency of things in our lives.

In the year 2008 my true life gave to me …

1000+ ground squirrels in the vineyard
106 gymnastic classes
88 karate lessons
25 cases of wine
21 play rehearsals
12 beach days with boogie boarders
10 bins of fruit at harvest
8 diving classes
5 furry kitties that make sure there are …
NO MORE MICE
4 wine events
3 school calendars
2 sets of keys locked in the truck
And 1 black belt for my true love