Hopped up on Al Gore lies and Sanka, he had a list of demands that he wanted met before he would release any hostages. For the entire text of his demands, click here.

The situation is now under control after police shot Lee. No word yet if he decided to not have the bullets removed–and relieve Mother Earth of the burden of his existence.

As you know, The Snark Factor is never satisfied unless we do our own research. I discovered six of Lee’s demands not reported by any other media outlet. This is the kind of  journalistic excellence that has not been seen since the Teapot Dome Scandal.

The Lee 6–in his own words.

1- Bring back Crystal Pepsi. I loved drinking it with slow gin.

2- I want an autographed picture of Menudo. The original lineup, NO TRICKS!

3- I want a Toyota Prius filled with the following items; 6 copies of An Inconvenient Truth, Keith Olbermann’s hair brush and a ball cap that was worn by Michael Moore.

4- I want my own show on MSNBC. In fact, give me Ed Schultz’s time slot. I also want his bucket of crazy.

5- I specifically want the 15 minutes of fame owned by D.C Douglas, minus the vinegar scent.

6- I want a beer summit with President Obama at the White House. The guest list will include Kathy Griffin, Dustin Diamond, the ghost of Gary Coleman, Carrot Top, Linda Lavin, John Cusack, Joan Cusack and Snookie.

The Snuggie- Made for comfort or terrorist plot?

Through my contacts at the Justice Department(yes they read The Snark Factor), I was picked up by a Hezbollah operative and driven 5 hours blindfolded to their underground hideout.

The blindfold fell off about 2 minutes from their bunker. I was horrified with what I saw. Burned out buildings-no people for miles. Where are we I thought?

Hezbollah guy looked at me and said “You gotta love Detroit in the summer.”

Soon I was brought down into their bunker, where I saw several children working around fabric. Hezbollah guy(from now on he will go by the name Frank), told me that the kids work cheap. He got them from Kathy Lee Gifford’s sweat shop.

Frank led me into a room that had three portraits on the wall. One photo was an oil painting of Yasser Arafat–the second was of Osama bin Laden–the third was Ryan Seacrest.

Frank seemed pleased to tell me Hezbollah’s plan for us to voluntarily impose Sharia Law in the United States:

You Americans are so concerned about the mosque in New York, we are slipping this in right under your nose. The Snuggie was just phase one. Your women love it!

Plus a portion of the profits fund The Huffington Post.

But the Snuggie doesn’t completely cover a woman up, we needed to come up with something else.

I thought to myself–my God it is worse than I thought. Their plans include something that Snuggie fans will find irresistible.

Frank called it the Snazzy Napper. It covers the unsuspecting rube’s face.

Frank went on:

After your weak American women see the Snazzy Napper, they will not be able to resist its comfort. A woman will not leave her home without it on her face. No more putting on makeup. Just put on the Snazzy Napper and go.

After that we are half way home. America will be under Sharia Law by 2016.

The best part of the whole thing, the profits from Snazzy Napper get directly deposited into the Harry Reid for Senate campaign fund. Nobody can stop us! Nobody!!!

*Warning, this piece may be total bullshit…

Is…

Is this a joke?

Who in the hell is letting the President of the United States get photographed wearing that outfit???

There are pictures on the Internet of Vladimir Putin killing whales with his bare hands–and we get pics of President Grandma taking a bike ride after grabbing a fish sandwich and a Sanka at McDonald’s.

Is anyone managing the image of this man? Nice mommy jeans and helmet. Why stop with the clothes?

Hey Sally, where is the wicker basket for the front of that bike? While you’re at it, maybe throw Paris Hilton’s doggy in the basket and take her for a spin.

And people actually think this man is hip and cool?

Seriously?!?

H/T- I found the photo on Drudge Report…

Due to popular demand, I am posting my “I am going to Branson with the New Black Panther I Hate Crackers Guy” bit. Enjoy…

I was a guest on ‘The Rick Amato Show’ on KCBQ in San Diego Tuesday night to discuss The Daily Caller smearing bloggers, FTR Radio, Pamela Gorman and what makes me tick.

For more on Rick Amato, check out his website.

“It’s standard operating procedure” to pay bloggers for favorable coverage, says one Republican campaign operative. A GOP blogger-for-hire estimates that “at least half the bloggers that are out there” on the Republican side “are getting remuneration in some way beyond ad sales.”

Half???

I call bullshit.

There were many good responses to this Daily Caller article from;

Dan Riehl

R. Stacy McCain

Jimmie Bise

Melissa Clouthier

Look I am not going to pretend that I draw the type of numbers on this site that the big boys (and girls) see on their blogs. Nobody would be throwing big money at me to do anything (except maybe to go away).

For the record, I nor anyone at FTR Radio got a dime in exchange for our support for Pamela Gorman–but thanks to this Daily Caller piece, it raises an unnecessary cloud of suspicion on any blogger that shows enthusiastic support for any candidate in a particular race. Thanks Tucker! (asshat)

Anyone that has done this blogging thing for a while realizes that you aren’t doing it for the money. I can see why Republicans would want help from bloggers–but in a lot of ways they still treat new media like a teenager holding an infant for the first time–awkwardly (yes they are getting better).

But here is the bad news.

Alas, I must confess that I have taken compensation for writing  positive pieces for candidates and causes. Here are 6 examples of how I sold myself–and you out for not a whole helluva lot in return.*

1- In 2008, the McCain for President PAC game me half a carton of Lucky Strikes to write a post entitled John McCain is the Shizzle Dizzle.

2- In 1988 I wrote that Michael Dukakis looked great in a tank for my school newspaper. I did it because Susan Estrich offered to give me a back rub (Cut me some slack , I was 16).

3- Last year, I was given a case of Yoo-Hoo to throw my support behind a ballot proposal in Texas to ban I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

4- In exchange for writing a blog post stating that he was “totally sane”, Ron Paul gave me three coins from his pot of gold.

5- For years, Governor Palin has sent me hush money over an incident between the 2 of us in the Poconos that I would love to tell you about–but there is a reason why they call it hush money. 

6- The Daily Caller sucks. That was a freebie…

*Warning, this list of 6 may be a load of crap. Don’t believe everything you read…

UPDATE!- Shock and outrage has been voiced throughout the Internets today by the revelation that I am a two-bit whore for any politician that is willing to throw 30 cents at me.

From Robert Stacy McCain-Embattled Blogger Rejects Growing Pressure to Resign.

To Mr. McCain I say this; Americans want to know that their Fingers Malloy is not a crook. Well, I am not a crook.

But after 15 minutes of soul searching and consultation with a Priest, an Imam, Linda Lavin, Bonnie Franklin, the 1987 Boston Celtics, Kathy Griffin and Boutros Boutros-Ghali, I have decided to maybe resign from my post at The Snark Factor. I have found a home for my writing that will give me even less exposure than Fingersmalloy.com.

I just took a job at The Huffington Post…

Over the course of the weekend we met a lot of people running for office. I really dislike talking to politicians. Most give off a used car salesman vibe.(My apologies to used car salesmen everywhere)

I will never forget a major candidate running for governor that I interviewed last year in Michigan. In the course of a quick 5 minute interview he must of used the word “grassroots” 62 times.

Me; “So why do you want to be governor.”

Him; “Well the grassroots of the grassroots makes me think that the grassroots of the grassroots is grassrootyness. Yes we can.”

I am sick of focus groups and opinion polls dictating what a politician thinks, says and does. One of the reasons why we loved Reagan so much is that he had a set of core beliefs that we knew would shape his worldview. That is leadership–making decisions by focus group is follow-ship.

Why am I bringing this up? That weekend at Right Online I met Pamela Gorman. Pamela is running for Congress in Arizona’s 3rd district. I had heard of Pamela after the fallout from her gun shooting campaign ad that almost made Keith Olbermann’s head explode.

She’s different.

She lets her core beliefs guide her actions and her words. I know I am not alone in believing in her, all the folks on the FTR Radio leadership team feel the same way.

There has been a lot written about the campaign in Arizona-3. Some of the best coverage of the dirty politics in this race can be found on the Arizona Right to Win Blog.

I highly recommend you check out that blog. I believe if Arizonans do their research they will realize that Pamela Gorman is the only grownup in the race.

She is conservative and will fight for the things we believe in; limited government, lower taxes, a balanced budget and secure borders. She is what we need in Congress right now, please vote for her tomorrow Arizona…

This week my special guest is Pamela Gorman. We talk about Ben Quayle and some guy named Moak. We also get in an in depth discussion about how much of a curse it is to be part of the “beautiful people.”

I am very fortunate to still have a day job. But part of my saga was discussed on the Rush Limbaugh Program yesterday-and the aftermath of our story being mentioned on his show has made it impossible for me to stay quiet about my circumstances any longer.

Times are bad for everyone; I am not looking for sympathy, just some perspective from my conservative friends.

14 years ago I was offered a very good job with a good company. The only stipulation to taking the job was that I had to join the UAW.

I’m a conservative and am not very fond of unions. But it was a good job, so I held my nose and accepted. That’s right kids; Fingers Malloy is one of many conservatives that are in a union.

14 years later I find myself in Indianapolis, working at a factory that is slated to be closed next year. My employer is looking to sell it and in the spring of this year, found a potential buyer. The buyer stated that he would only be able to purchase the facility if we were to take a 50% pay cut.

I know this is hard for a lot of people to understand, but under our current contract we are better off if the plant is closed rather than sold. If it closes, my employer will move our jobs to other facilities within the company. At that point I have the right to follow my job to another location and not take a pay and benefit cut.

If the plant is sold, it makes it harder for me to follow my job. The work will stay at this plant. In addition, I may be forced to take the wage and benefit cut.

We (in the local union) were asked if we wanted to renegotiate our contract to take the pay cut and be sold, we overwhelmingly voted no. Why should we take such a drastic pay cut when we can move to another community and have our wages and benefits stay the same?

The International UAW (which now owns 17% of my employer) refused to take this local union’s no for an answer. It ILLEGALLY negotiated a contract with the potential buyer.

Last week, the International UAW called an illegal meeting at the local union hall to discuss the new agreement. They wanted to take a new vote on opening our current contract. If the local agreed to open the contract, the vote to ratify the new contract would be taken the next day.

There are many reasons why we were suspicious of the process.

The International sent us the “highlights” of the new agreement (a small portion of the new contract) in the mail on Friday/Saturday. They then held the illegal meeting on Sunday. They wanted us to vote on the new agreement on Monday. Would you vote for something you never got to read? Why the rush?

So needless to say members in this local were angry. The International UAW put us in the middle of a public relations nightmare. We are getting hammered on all sides every day by the media, Governor Daniels, the public–all because we are not agreeing to take what now turns out to be over a 60% wage and benefit cut just to keep this plant open.

When officers of the International UAW (by the way, they just gave themselves an 8% pay increase) came into the union hall on Sunday to give us details about the new contract, we threw them out.  That made national news, Rush Limbaugh and lit up Twitter.

On Twitter and blogs my conservative friends called me things like lazy, stupid, illiterate and selfish. (for the record, I earned my BA from Indiana University and am a year away from my MBA)

I find it very hard to believe that any of the people criticizing our decision would agree to take a 60% cut in pay and benefits to stay where they are now working under new ownership—as opposed to staying with their current employer and moving to a new community with no pay cut.

To be fair, under the  “highlights” of the new agreement it states that we would be permitted to go back to my current employer. However, in the fine print it states that our movement would be up to the discretion of the new owner.

I do not know the new owner; he may be a stand up guy. But I have a family to support and I’m just not willing to take that risk.

Again, I am not looking for sympathy. I am just presenting my side of the story. The media has misrepresented what is going on here (shocker) and I want to set the record straight.

The only thing I ask is that we all do a better job of differentiating between union bosses and the rank and file members. Most of the people I work with are just trying to raise a family and pay their bills.

As you were…