Finite Times

American Airlines To Charge For Blankets, Stewardesses

admin — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:58:44 +0000

In an expected move, American Airlines announced today that it would begin charging $8 for pillows and blankets on some flights. A bit more surprising was news that they'd also begin charging passengers for stewardess -- now called in-flight consultant -- use.

Vancouver Offers Winter Olympics To Washington, DC

admin — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:55:39 +0000

In a stunning move, sources are telling The Finite Times that the city of Vancouver has approached Washington, DC about possibly hosting the 2010 Winter Olympic Games that are slated to open this Friday.

Sarah Palin’s Palm Notes Not So Odd, Says Political Historian

admin — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:54:22 +0000

(FiniteTimes.com) - If you’ve been too busy recovering from a Super Bowl hangover or digging out from several yards of snow (howdy Washington), you might have missed the news story that’s been raging through the blogosphere, left wing: Sarah Palin wrote crib notes on her hand for a Q&A session at the so-called Tea Party [...]

Sarah Palin’s “Going Rogue For Dummies” Set To Launch

admin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:10:50 +0000

Sarah Palin announced today that her popular biography, "Going Rogue," would soon be available as part of the Books For Dummies series, a subsidiary of Wiley Publishing, Inc.

Week In Pictures: Turner Wins His Beef

admin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:54:55 +0000

Ted Turner this week won the right to 88 bison from a faltering Montana program designed to protect the animals. An overjoyed Turner immediately set to work "improving" the bison, releasing the above photo that he is calling "Colored Cow, 1".

Officials Investigating Semi-Celebrity Terrorist Cell

admin — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 16:24:36 +0000

Investigators in Connecticut and California are coordinating their efforts to investigate what they say is the most decentralized and deranged terrorist cell they're ever seen. And did we mention that it's d-list?

Military Commission: Ask, Tell, Just Don’t Be Too Gay

admin — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 14:07:44 +0000

In a nod to their Commander-in-Chief, a joint military commission has recommended that the Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) policy on gays in the military that has been in place since 1993 should be scrapped in favor of a sliding "gay meter" that would be used to determine if someone was too gay for military service.

Obama Budget Shifts NASA Funds From Exploration To “Ooo, Pretty”

admin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:01:10 +0000

The annual budget put forth by President Obama this week manages to pack much into its $3.8 trillion framework, but robust support for NASA is not one of the blessed.

Line Up Girls: John Edwards Available

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 17:15:12 +0000

Former presidential candidate John Edwards and his wife Elizabeth have officially separated, according to a source close to Elizabeth Edwards.

Republicans Plan Unconventional State of Union Address Response

admin — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 16:30:27 +0000

An emboldened Republican super minority announced today that they would forego the traditional response after the President's State of the Union Address and instead deliver a spirited response during the address itself.