Finnegan Follies

Happy Valentine's Day

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:13:00 +0000

Well, here it is, Gentle Readers, Valentine's Day, and my yearly tradition of sending things to my children and grandchildren, and having cards and candy for Marilyn and Dave, has been broken. I knew on some level that it was coming, but couldn't overcome the entropy of recovery to do anything about it. And now, today, I am sad to miss the opportunity to say "I love you" to my sweet family in a special way. And I can't even get on Dayspring.com to send e-cards because their site is overwhelmed by last-minute Valentines like me. Bummer!

So, in lieu of actually being a thoughtful daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, wife, mother, or grandmother, and since it is "Wednesday without words" day anyway, let me share a few pictures of my sweetest, most beloved people. Wishing you all the love of Jesus today!

Me with my honey, taken in December

Sweet Adeline Bell

Ben babysitting

Elsa, being a tender new mom

Emma on the llama Pampa made for her

Emma on Tim

Nikki with Ada

With my sisters Jeni and Gwen at Christmas

"GG" Marilyn with Emma

My parents relaxing late on Christmas night

What God sees...

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 22:00:00 +0000

This morning in worship, my pastor prayed that we would remember that Christ is sufficient-- that when God looks at us, He sees Christ and attributes Christ's characteristics to us. I have known this for a long time, and been grateful for that act of grace, and for the fact that Christ bears my sin, and God sees the perfection of Jesus when he looks at me. But the Holy Spirit applied this to my heart in a different way this morning. As I prayed and contemplated this idea, it occurred to me that this is not some nebulous, general sort of application. But it is specific, like all of God's promises. When I suffer, what do I see? I see myself struggle, whine, distract myself. I am selfish, I am lazy, I am unkind to others. But when God sees me suffer, He sees Jesus suffer-- and He is always concerned for others, preeminently concerned with doing God's will, patient, and never complaining. If that is what God sees when He watches me suffer, how can His response to me be anything but a tender Father's loving response to His child? What a comfort that is when my own sin and lack of holiness is quite evident to me.

If I apply this idea further, when I am hurting, and I strike back, or dishonor Him, He is seeing Jesus turn the other cheek and respond out of love. When I am discouraged or depressed and lack courage or hope, He sees Jesus, ever trusting, hopeful, faithful.

All of this is not to say that how i respond doesn't matter. The beauty is that God doesn't only promise to see Jesus when He looks at me, but to make me more and more into the image of Jesus. So the longer i battle in this life, the more like Jesus I become here-- not because I am good or pulling myself up by my own bootstraps, but because I can stand on God's promises, and His grace is sufficient for me in all things. What an amazing gift such grace is!

All That I Need by Stephen Altrogge

In You is strength to sustain me
And wisdom enough to guide my hand
Mercy enough to forgive me
And power to finish what You began

All that I need is in You, Jesus
The fountain of grace that overflows
All that I need is in You, Jesus
You are my only hope
You are my only hope

In You is fullness of gladness
And fullness of grace for every need
Rest for the ones who are weary
And beauty surpassing all that we’ve seen

You satisfy my heart
You satisfy my soul
You satisfy my heart
O help me always know

A reader already?

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:31:00 +0000

Miss Ada is already four weeks old- I can hardly believe it! And she is taking after daddy in some ways...

The expression above is the one her father wore for the first three months of his life. Who knew that expressions were hereditary?! Here she is getting a little grandma love from her Grandma Johnson.

Here is Ada in her sling. Her mama looks great, and is obviously doing a great job of caring for this little sweetie.

Big stretch- I can just imagine the baby squeeks coming from this one...

And snuggle time with Daddy. I can't wait to hold this little girl, and will try to be patient...

Amazing Grace

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:40:00 +0000

This morning, from the comfort of my chair, I enjoyed the talk that Eric Metaxas gave at the National Prayer breakfast. I found him funny, winsome, and challenging. Give it a listen! (HT: Amy)

Recovery terrain

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:30:00 +0000

Recovering from major surgery, and perhaps particularly surgery that also throws one into instantaneous menopause, is like climbing a mountain road. You keep climbing, and make it over one hill, and another presents itself. It is a marathon-type event. I have been climbing for four weeks, and there is still much terrain to cover, and most of it upwards. While i am weary, I see God's goodness in the hills i been enabled to put behind me. Here are a few:

Yesterday was my last day of HBO treatments- 20 accomplished, and healing of my incisions well underway. I am very glad not to be bumping down the road to Santa Fe and back every day, which was usually painful and always tiring. The blessings amid the bumps were the dear friends who dorve me and the wonderful conversations for 45 minutes each way.
I am currently doing well pain-wise on just two regular ibuprofen tablets with meals and at bedtime. That is a huge praise.
I am slowly regaining much range of motion in both arms, and continue to work on stretching. On Friday i will meet with the massage/acupuncture therapist to begin working on my keeping my scars soft and my arms from swelling.
I am walking farther and farther in my 30-40 minute walks (usually 2-3 times a day).
Yesterday I actually did some laundry and the day before I paid some bills. All that activity made me tired today, but it is a start!
I can almost sleep on my sides- a blessed relief after weeks of having to sleep on my back.

So, I am trying to patiently climb the next hill before me on this terrain of recovery, patiently trusting God to complete the good work he has started in me. Thank you for your prayers, Gentle Readers!

Three weeks ago today...

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:21:00 +0000

...I was in the ICU at Los Alamos Medical Center, waiting for word from Phoenix. What a joy to have Adeline Bell Finnegan enter this world, after her Mama had so well carried and delivered her, and to get pictures of her little face! We have since Skyped with her a couple of times- and let me tell you, she is charming! I am hoping to see and hold her in person in a few more weeks, once I am cleared to travel. Happy three-week birthday, Ada-- and welcome to the world! We are so glad you are here!

Wednesday without words

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:57:00 +0000

Three weeks out

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 01:04:00 +0000

Three weeks out from my surgery today. Somehow I'm not where I had hoped to be, but here I am. The best news is that God is on His throne and reigning. And that is closely followed by Tim and Nikki and Emma bring here for the weekend They loved and served us, kept company and cried and laughed with us. It was a healing visit! But now my house seems so quiet...

Today may be my first day without a pain killer other than ibuprofen... although it is not bedtime yet. I still deal with pain and stiffness, swelling and fatigue. And there is just something wrong when your "normal" bodily functions take so much time and attention. But I guess the good news is that there are normal functions going on, and I am healing well. I am just recovering slowly. I still do not have the focus to read, so I'm thankful for Netflix Instantview. I walk and eat, and for the past several night have slept all night in bed, able to lean on both sides- a huge accomplishment after weeks of sleeping on my back or in a recliner. And I can now regularly walk for 30 minutes with little or no discomfort. Thank God for these steps of progress!

The instant-menopause thing has difficult days, and better days. I know the hot flashes, night sweats, and mood swings will mellow over time. And I am just glad that I have a husband I can trust, and God's grace and my experience to tell me that when my emotions tell me the world is ending, it is likely not, and I don't have to find any reason for it. I can just cry until I'm done crying, and move on.

So, Gentle Reader, healing is coming on slowly and steadily. But there is much more ahead of me. More than I thought there would be. Or at least it seems so now. I am looking forward to that day when I can say, "Hey, today seemed like a normal day!"

A snap shot of my day

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:23:00 +0000

Gentle Reader,
While this does not constitute a true return to blogging, I thought I would thank you all for your prayers- they lift me every day- and give you a snap shot of recovery, and some prayer requests. So first, here is wat my week-day schedule has evolced into:

6:45 AM: Dave wakes me for a hot breakfast, and i fight the pain from the night and the emotions from lack of hormones to have breakfast with him, and take a shower to start the day. (The first pain-pills since bedtime come with breakfast.) That accomplished, Dave reads me Spurgeon's Morning by Morning devotional as I settle into my comfy chair, and prays with me (sometimes twice) before he leaves for work. I doze off completing my morning scripture reading and prayer time.

9 AM: sometime around here I wake up from my first morning nap, brush my teeth and my hair, and head out for my first walk in the brisk day. I am currently walking very slowly for about 15 minutes 2-3 times a day, and have a shorter evening walk. It's a start!
10 AM: I have finished my walk, checked e-mail, and am ready for nap #2, or if not sleepy, watch something on my laptop. If I need distraction, I watch Bones. If i need easy, I watch All Creatures Great and Small, or Psych. If I am a mess, I watch the old Cosby show.
11:30 AM: Time for walk #2. I am venturing beyond the block, but going slowly.
12:00 PM: Lunch put together by Marilyn while I watch the news and sit on the couch. It is left-overs from the fabulous meals my friends have been delivering each night. What a blessing!
1:00 PM: My ride arrives to take me to Santa Fe. These dear friends pick me up, take me to Santa Fe, run errands while I have HBO treatment for 2.5 hours, and then pick me up and bring me home. They distract me, hold my hand when i cry, and encourage me. What a blessing!
5;30-6:00 PM: I arrive home exhuasted, and receive the blessing of a new meal from some lovely person.
7:00 PM: final walk of the day. Usually just around the block, because I am worn out completely.
7:30 PM: couch time with Dave: I lean on my back against Dave while we watch something, or he reads. I doze. This is the closest to cuddling I can currently manage.
10:30 PM: take my last meds, brush my teeth, and climb into bed. I can last about 2-4 hours on my back there, then get up and move to my comfy chair for the rest of the night.

And now that I've written all that, I am too tired to give specific prayer requests. That will have to come another day. But do keep praying, Gentle Reader. This will be a long recovery, but God is with me here. Thank you!

Excellent News on Two Fronts

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:33:00 +0000

How good it our great and glorious God! We have two great pieces of news to report:

Adeline Bell Finnegan was born last night, Thursday, January 12 at 7:06 pm. She weighed in at 8 lbs 12 oz. and is 21" long. Ben and Elsa and baby are all doing well. Elsa labored successfully for 6 hours, and the baby was delivered naturally. After Ada nursed at 10pm, she slept until 4 am, giving Elsa a welcome rest.

Also, Chris had an appointment with the surgeon today and got her pathology report. All of the results came back negative. Praise God! The only cancer found was the original small tumor (that caused all of the surgery to happen). All of the lymph nodes and other tissue came back negative

We serve a great and glorious God

Thank you for rejoicing with us!

Dave

Post Surgery Update Update

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 02:48:00 +0000

Hello from the beautiful confines of the LAMC. Chris had a pretty good day today. She had three good meals and was able to get up and walk around several times today. The only difficulty was her first time getting up today. We had her standing and walking a little too long and she got light headed and had too stay in bed for a while. However, since then she has improved and was even able to take a shower just before supper (and walked to the bathroom and back.) The Dr.s are now saying that Chris should be able to go home tomorrow.

We thank you all for your prayers and praise God For His goodness endures forever.

Dave

Post Surgery Update

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:33:00 +0000

Just wanted to give you all an update on my dear wife. Her surgery went very well today. It went a little longer than scheduled but no complications. The surgery took a little over 6 hours. The mastectomies both went well. The hysterectomy took longer than expected due to some scar tissue from previous surgery, but praise God the surgeons were able to do it laproscopically and vaginally (no major abdominal incision was necessary). She took a while to wake up from the anesthatic, but she has been improving this evening. Chris has been able to sit on the edge of the bed and has had a popsicle and some ginger-ale. She will spend the night in the ICU because of the length of the surgery.
Thank you all for your prayers. God has been so good to us!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Dave

Surgery details

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 04:52:00 +0000

Gentle Readers, thank you for your prayers! We head to the hospital tomorrow at 6 AM for a 7:30 surgery, which should last approximately 4 hours (give or take a little.) We have made the best decisions we could, and are confident in our team of surgeons. Now we trust God, the Great Physician. So please do continue to pray. There are some specific requests below if you'd like to have them. And the next post here, Lord willing, will be a post-surgery update from Dave, once he can find computer access. Thank you!

Please pray that I would rest in Christ, and be comforted by him.
Pray that the surgery would remove all cancer, and find clean lymph nodes.
Ask that the breast surgeon do an excellent job on the mastectomies.
Ask that the gynecologist be able to perform the hysterectomy laproscopically, without a major abdominal incision.
Ask for merciful pain management.
Ask for good waking and coming out from the anesthesia.
Ask for an infection-free recovery.
Ask for comfort for my family and friends.
Pray that we would all learn to trust God better through this, and rejoice in him.
Praise God for his many provisions to us in this time of our need.

Hope and trust

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:08:00 +0000

Dwell in the light of thy Lord, and let thy soul be always ravished with his love. get out the marrow and the fatness which this portion yeilds thee. live up to thy privileges, and rejoice with unspeakable joy.
~C. H. Spurgeon, Morning By Morning, Jan. 9

This morning I slept soundly until 4 AM. Then I prayed quietly, trying not to wake Dave, until 4:30, at which point I had to get up. Six sound hours of sound sleep was pretty good before a busy day! Today I have to head to Santa Fe in the icy fog to have an HBO treatment at 7:30, followed by acupuncture and massage therapy to help me avoid problems with lymphedema after surgery. These are both healing activities intended to prepare me for tomorrow's surgery. What a blessing! Then I head directly back to Los Alamos to meet with the breast surgeon for her pre-op visit, and then to the surgical floor for their pre-op. By later today I should have times and details all sorted out, Lord willing.

And once again, in the words of Spurgeon, I find my marching orders for today: live up to your privileges in Christ! And then I read Psalm 33:

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, that he may deliver their soul from death, and keep them alive in famine. our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.
~Psalm 33: 18-22

So I am fortified by truth and the substantive promises of God for what lies ahead. And I head forward into this fresh, new day, with hope and trust.

Praises and plans

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 16:33:00 +0000

If God cares for you, why need you care too? Can you trust Him for your soul, and not for your body? He has never refused to bear your burdens, He has never fainted under their weight. Come, then, soul! have done with fretful care, and leave all thy concerns in the hand of a gracious God.
~C. H. Spurgeon, Morning by Morning, January 6

I began my day reading these lovely reminders. (Click above to read the rest.) God is, indeed, caring and providing for me, and I am trying to relax into His able arms!

Yesterday we got the good news that all my genetic markers are negative, which is a huge source of praise. It has cleared the way for surgery next week. I also got news that Tim, Nikki and Emma are coming to visit in three weeks, and that Dave has made airline reservations for us to visit Ben, Elsa and Ada in six weeks (the soonest I am allowed to travel post-surgery!) Additionally, there is a little movement on Ada's part to enter the world, and we are so excited. Please rejoice with us in these praise-worthy items, and pray for Elsa and Ada as the time draws near for Ada's birth.

So the plan now is for surgery on Tuesday, Jan. 10. The details are still being worked out as far as time, length of stay in the hospital, etc. But my breast surgeon and gynecologist will work together under one anesthesia to do both surgeries (bi-lateral mastectomy and complete hysterectomy.) Then, let the healing begin. I will be continuing HBO treatments at some point, and doing physical therapy for lymphedema prevention at some point as well. On Jan. 24, I'll see the oncologist, and hopefully all my final pathology will be back then, and we can set our course for the future. We'll make our final decision about chemotherapy then (though it doesn't look like I will need it or radiation this time around-- another praise!) and we'll discuss a daily med for a few years to help prevent recurrence. It is a blessing to have a plan.

So, please keep praying for me, Gentle Reader:
~Pray that I would rest in His capable arms, trusting Him for my care, and finding my image of myself in Him.
~Pray for surgery to be successful, recovery to be smooth, and pathology to be negative.
~Praise God for His amazing provision in all these things, and the peace that passes understanding that is keeping my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 15:00:00 +0000

This sweet corner is all ready for Miss Ada to make her entrance. Her parents are ready. Her Grandparents are ready. And yet we wait on God's perfect timing. We are very excited to meet this little girl!

So much of our lives seems to be made up of waiting. I guess that reminds us that we live in the "not yet" part of our existence. The waiting and longing reminds us that this is not really our home. Our home is in eternity with the Lord, and this life is a mere reflection through a flawed glass of what will be. So we long for the perfect to come.

I long and wait for decisions to be made, for healing to begin, for grandchildren to arrive... May God meet your longing today, Gentle Reader, and may He meet mine!

Wednesday without words

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:13:00 +0000

HBO- and NOT about movies

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 18:53:00 +0000

On Friday I began HBO treatments- HyperBaric Oxygen. This is requested by my breast surgeon. She has lots of experience and has frequently worked on women who have had previous radiation therapy. The radiation damages the tissues and the blood flow to the area, and often these women have a difficult time healing, HBO creates angiogenesis (new blood pathways) and super-saturates your body with oxygen to aid healing. I trust my surgeon, and got approval from my insurance, so I began that adventure, and will continue up until my surgery, and then after my surgery for a total of 15-20 treatments. The down side is that each tratment is quite expensive, and take 2.5 hours in addition to the commute to Santa Fe (45 minutes each way), and I need to have them 5 days a week when possible. So it is a sink of time and resources. But i am hopeful that it will be good for me.

One amazing and promising sign is that my painful dermatitis on my thumb (several huge and sore cracks that are usually with me all through the winter) have healed right up after one treatment. Imagine! I am taking that as a little comforting sign ffrom the Lord that He is provinding through this for me healing.

And while my HBO is not really related to the movie-showing cable channel, I do get to watch movies. There is a little video screen on the top of the chamber that I can watch. ~90 minutes of Pride and Prejudice are behind me, with ~210 more ahead! ;-)

I appreciate your continued prayers, Gentle Readers. Here are a few specifics for you to join me in taking before the throne of grace:

Last week and this I have had a cluster of migraine headaches after not having any for almost a year. Please pray that this cycle would stop.
I have also developed a mild cold. Please pray I could effectively treat it and be cleared to go ahead with my HBO treatments tomorrow.
Please continue to pray that we would get back the final genetic testing information. That is the final piece we need before making our final plan.
Pray that the caner would not spread, and would not be found in my lymph nodes, and that my post-surgery pathology would be clear.
That surgery would go well and that recovery wuld be uncomplicated.
That God would bring healing through all these processes, and that i would rest in Him.
That this would be my last breast cancer battle.

Update

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 04:03:00 +0000

Cancer treatment is such an emotional roller-coaster. What really amazes me is that I could have forgotten. You struggle to understand your options, and get one piece of the puzzle settled and ten things happen that call it all into doubt and you are back at square one. You feel at peace about everything one moment, and totally unsettled the next. And above all, it is emotionally exhausting!

Tomorrow I begin hyperbaric oxygen (HBO) treatments that we hope will make the surgery on the side of me that previously underwent radiation treatments bear surgery well and heal better. It is a bit of a gamble, but God has opened that door, so we are stepping through it. But I would appreciate all your prayers, Gentle Readers! Would you please pray that:

The cancer would not spread, and that it would remain small and lymph nodes would be clear.
The genetic tests would come back soon, and without any positive markers.
That the HBO would be an effective healing agent in my pre- and post-op.
That I would be able to have surgery on January 10, as has been tentatively scheduled.
That I would make a good post-surgery treatment plan with my oncologist after surgery.
That I would rest in God's hands and wait hopefully for that peace which passes all understanding.

And would you praise God with me for...

His amazing love and grace that is sufficient for every challenge.
His working out of approval by the insirance for the HBO treatments.
His provision of excellent medical care and advice.
My tumor being low-risk, low-grade, found early, and having a good prognosis.
His provision of ,y wonderful husband for support.

Wednesday-- with a few words

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 04:28:00 +0000

These are photos taken on Christmas Day with my new camera- a lovely gift from my sweet husband. I don't really know how to use it yet, but I am looking forward to learning!
(In descending order: 1. My sis, Jeni; 2. My parents; 3. my nieces; 4. me with my sisters Jeni and Gwen.)
I have much to be thankful for!

Counting my blessings

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 16:25:00 +0000

I was encouraged by this post this morning, and thought I would try my hand at remembering some of the highlights from the past year as the new year approaches. Here are some of the things I can thank God for bringing my way in 2011:

Our first granddaughter, Emma, turned one year old, and is the delight of our lives.
God forcibly removed Ben from the track he was traveling down, and gave him a jog he never knew he would love.
I got to spend several weeks with my daughter-in-love Elsa, and while we worked hard, it was a treat to get to know her better.
Granddaughter #2 is on her way, due on January 2, and we can't wait to meet Adaline Bell!
We enjoy amazing and beautiful relationships with all of our kids- Ben and Elsa, Tim and Nikki.
We enjoyed several great times with family- our children, our parents, and our siblings.
I had the privilege of teaching three mornings a week, and got to know a whole new slew of amazing young people.
Our neighbors came for desert one evening, and visited our church on Christmas Eve.
I have been able to run about half of my 30-minute jog.walk time, which is a huge accomplishment for me.
Dave and others made my Christmas wonderful. I have a new camera (look for photos once I figure out how to use it!) and a lovely home-spa basket from one sister, and a kindle reader from another! I am blessed with all their generosity.
And the cancer... So much wrapped into that thanksgiving. I am thankful it was discovered very early, and that we have treatment options that give me a good prognosis. I am thankful for the way I know God will use it to draw me closer to Himself through it. And I guess I am grateful that it works to further wean me from the things of this world and turn my eyes to heaven.

So while the new year approaches with much uncertainty, my certainty is in Christ, and my sure knowledge of His care for me in the past, and His substantive promises to do so in the future. May you be similarly blessed, Gentle Reader!

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 23:15:00 +0000

[T]he people dwelling in darkness
have seen a great light,
and for those dwelling in the region and shadow of death,
on them a light has dawned.

~Matthew 4:16

This Christmas Eve has been a busy day. We cut and wrapped caramels, Dave wrapped presents, I finished up grading for my VPSA classes and turned everything over to my co-teacher and friend since she will be covering my classes for some time beginning in January. We ran and showered, and baked, and cooked, and now are preparing for worship.

This Christmas, as we face a new cancer battle and imminent surgery, the idea of living "in darkness" and dwelling "in the region and shadow of death" is even more poignant to us. This life is certainly full of darkness and death. But it is not a darkness without light. The good news of Christmas is that Christ, eternal God, descended to share our humanity, and do what we could not: make peace for us with God, and restore our relationship to our Creator. Because Jeuss did that, I have a relationship that will last for eternity. And while I grieve that I must fight this cancer, I do not gireve as one who has no hope.

My prayer for you, Gentle Reader, is that this Christmas you glimpse the eternal in that ordinary birth in Bethlehem. Rest your hope on that baby. Then the threat of darkness and death can hold no terror for you, because eternity is won.

May this be your merriest Christmas ever!

Christmas Update 2011

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:49:00 +0000

Well, Gentle reader, friends and family, another year draws to its close, complete with blessing beyond measure and trials to be faced. And through it all, God has never ceased to be faithful. He makes us the apple of his eye, and hides us in the shadow of His wings.

Let me update you on the various parts of the family...

Marilyn continues to be healthy and active. At 85, she still drives, and goes to the YMCA a couple of times a week. She also walks with a friend a couple of times, does volunteer work at the local nursing home, and is in charge of the church library. She works hard around here, too. And she has done some lovely traveling this year: to Pennsylvania to visit daughter Kathleen, to Scotland and England with son Jon, and to Ruiudoso, NM with daughter Michelle.

Ben and Elsa have had a year of change, with more ahead! Last spring Ben completed a second Masters degree at Indiana University (one in Latin, and one in Greek.) He took a job teaching in a charter school in Phoenix, and Elsa packed up their home, put it on the market, and headed to Arizona. They are now settled into Peoria, and Ben is a much-loved teacher of 5th grade ancient history and 7th and 8th grade Latin. Elsa quit her day-job in Bloomington, and is taking on a much more important job: mother! Their little girl, Adaline Bell, is due January 2, and we are all excited to meet this new Finnegan baby!

Tim, Nikki, and Emma continue to thrive in Tucson. Tim continues to gain responsibilities at Raytheon, and Nikki is a fabulous wife and mother. And Emma is the Joy of our loves- almost ready to talk on the telephone, but not quite! We never get enough time with her, but we are grateful to have everyone back on this side of the country. Ben and Tim are now just 2.5 hours from each other, and either one is about 8 hours from us.

Dave and I have had a lovely and blessed year, enjoying travel and family, and God's abundant blessings. I have enjoyed teaching and Dave has enjoyed his work at the lab. As the year closes, a new trial has entered our lives: Chris has been diagnosed with a new breast cancer. The last two weeks have been full of tests, appointments, research, grieving, and trusting. We are still awaiting test results and working on a plan for treatment. Next year promises to begin with challenges.

We are continually amazed at the grace of God in our lives, that is always sufficient for the needs of our days. At this time of the year, Gentle Reader, may you know the love of God that was so passionate that Jesus left heaven, and came to earth that we might be with Him. May He draw you close to himself this season, and forever!

Things that bring joy

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 20:47:00 +0000

Today I am wrapping gifts, and letting my future worry about itself (at least for the moment...) I have been reflecting on the things that bring joy to me: my husband and his corny jokes, even in grizzly circumstances; my kids and grandkids; the way Jesus loves me lavishly even though I don't deserve his love. In my reading from Spurgeon's Morning by Morning this morning, I read this:

Let us note that Christ delights to think upon His Church, and to look upon her beauty. ... We cannot look too often upon that face which we love; we desire always to have our precious things in our sight. It is even so with our Lord Jesus. From all eternity "His delights were with the sons of men"; ... When the world was set upon its pillars, He was there, and He set the bounds of the people according to the number of the children of Israel. .... Never were they absent from His heart, for He had written their names upon His hands, and graven them upon His side.... We may often forget to meditate upon the perfections of our Lord, but He never ceases to remember us. Let us chide ourselves for past forgetfulness, and pray for grace ever to bear Him in fondest remembrance. Lord, paint upon the eyeballs of my soul the image of Thy Son.

And so, Gentle Readers, we who are loved so lavishly only have reason to smile. May you know the love of Christ that is greater than any circumstance.

I will leave you with a few photos of things that make me smile, too, since I didn't get pictures posted on Wednesday this week.

The whirlwind

noreply@blogger.com (MagistraCarminum) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:18:00 +0000

Dealing with cancer is like living in a time whirlwind. Sometimes you find yourself at the center, with an eerie calm, and you are unsure what to do. The rest of the time you are being driven in the gale-force wind. The last 25 hours for me has seen two doctor's appointments, a trip to Santa Fe to pick up scans and slides, a new appointment with a new doctor for Monday morning, a blood draw, a visit to an office to sign a release form, and lots of questions-- some answered, some not- and lots of phone calls. It is exhausting. And I find that even on good days I am worn out by the evening, and have to cling to God to keep my footing. He is good to never let me completely slip.

After the appointment on Monday, I may be able to post a more-sure plan. But for now, please keep the following items in prayer, Gentle Reader:

Ask that the results from the oncotyping would come back showing a low-risk, no-chemotherapy-needed cancer.
Ask that the results of the genetics test will be clear and help us make treatment decisions.
Ask that we would make wise decisions about surgery: how much, which things to do in one surgery, which to put off, which to ignore.
Ask that while all of these decisions are being made, that little tumor would not become any more nasty.
Ask that I could rest in God, find me peace there, and wait in hope.

And please praise God with me for:

A great support team, headed by my best friend and sweet husband. God spared his life 20 years ago from a "terminal" cancer, and now he is here with me. Praise God for His generosity to me in Dave!
A good local breast specialist who has some great ideas about how to make pretty massive surgery bearable and successful.
Dear doctor friends who give me their opinions, help me get in to see doctors i otherwise wouldn't, and who are all-around great friends.