FitGunz

Schooling

2010-12-10T12:58:00.002-05:00

Meet Lola and Pam

Dear reader:

I am using my blog to document my experiences as I embark upon the new journey in my life: horseback riding and eventual horse ownership. The first part of my journey involves my reintroduction to horseback riding lessons, something I have not done since I was twelve years old.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on horses, nor am I a horseback riding instructor. This is simply a documentation of my experiences, from my perspective. The blogs serve as both a personal reflection and a written review of what I am learning. It is also the answer to family and friends who ask, “How are the lessons going?”

First lesson: Part 1 Tacking Up

My first riding lesson began with learning how to tack up my horse. Essentially this involves dressing your horse for riding. Much like people, the horse must be groomed, and properly clothed in order to be worked or ridden.

But first, the human must be dressed and ready. An hour before my ride I dressed myself in two layers of long underwear, due to the new England weather, which on this day featured temperatures low 30’s with blustery winds. The pants were a challenge, since jeans are not acceptable mainly because they can chafe and rub the rider raw. Ideally, winter riding breeches would be great, but I could not find any at the local equestrian shop in what I consider a reasonable price range. So until the ones I order on line arrive, I will make do from my inadequate wardrobe. I must own about twenty pairs of jeans, but only one pair of stretchy khaki pants, which I reserve for golfing. Since we are way past golfing season, and I am the most unorganized person on the planet, you can imagine how easy it was to find this one pair of pants. After much digging around in the closet in between bags and bags of yarn, (my other addiction is knitting) and semi-folded piles of clothing, I found them, of course, in the bottom of the clothes hamper located on the other side of the bedroom, scrunched into a tan colored, wrinkly ball. Do not tell my husband about this, please, because he does not need another reason to point out my shortcomings against the backdrop of his OCD-like organizational skills. I am just really glad he did not walk in on me while I was cursing like a madwoman dressed in nothing but two pairs of long underwear and a bra, surrounded by skeins of yarn. Back to the pants. I smoothed them out as best I could (the horse doesn’t care if my pants are wrinkled!) and pulled them on over the two pairs of hot chilis thermal underpants. Fortunately, the khakis have Spandex in them, which allowed room for the additional layers and the extra junk in my trunk that accumulated over Thanksgiving. After pulling wool socks on over my cotton socks, I was almost half-dressed. Next, I layered a thermal undershirt, cotton turtleneck and fleece jacket, topped off by a Patagonia jacket and fleece neck warmer. Lastly, I attached toe warmers to the tops of my socks before slipping my feet into a pair of black, knee-length thermal riding boots.

An aside about toe-warmers: These things are awesome. They are shaped like the top of your foot, with a peel-back adhesive strip and they stick right onto the top of your sock, over your toes (or underneath your toes if you prefer) and they immediately radiate a toasty warmth that fills your boot and makes your toes wish to curl up and take a little nap. Ahhhh. Huh? Wha? Sorry I drifted off for a moment, just reminiscing about it. I grabbed my insulated riding gloves, my fuchsia riding helmet and my consent forms. I was ready to go! I felt a lot like Ralphie’s little brother Randy, from the movie The Christmas Story. He’s the kid whose mom bundled him up in so many layers underneath his snowsuit for the walk to school that he couldn’t put his arms down. He fell over and could not get back up! I desperately hoped that I would escape that fate over the next hour.

I arrived at Renaissance Farm where an equally bundled Pam the Instructor awaited me. She began by teaching me how to tack up my horse, Lola. Let me tell you about Lola. If heaven were a horse, its name would be Lola. She is a Cheval Canadian horse. Her thick winter coat is a rich, chestnut-brown color, and her bright brown eyes sparkle despite her 23 years. She has a finely sculpted head, as if she were carved from dark chocolate. By contrast, she also has a white star on her forehead. Her coat is plushy and thick for the winter, and surprisingly soft. Her first career was in Canada as a carriage horse. I can picture her stepping lively in leather traces, eyes shining, in front of a shiny black carriage. When she came to live on Renaissance Farm, Pam had to train her for riding. In essence, she is a fellow adult learner, like me, but probably a lot smarter. Cheval Canadian horses are known for their hardiness in cold weather, and are considered“easy keepers”. Cheval Canadian mares are known to produce offspring up to 20 years of age. I could go on and on, but you get the picture. She’s a doll.

To prepare Lola for tack up, I first had the privilege to brush that beautiful coat. I learned to use first a hard rubber brush, or curry comb, moving in a circular motion over the neck, withers, back, belly and legs, followed immediately by the stiff Dandy brush which sweeps off the dirt and smoothes the coat so it is nice and clean prior to putting on the saddle pad and saddle. Lola was very patient and forgiving as I fumbled to master this two-handed technique while wearing thermal gloves and standing in the cold New England wind. I greatly appreciated the fact that she did not kick or step on me when I dropped the brush more than once onto the ground underneath her. She just looked at me with those big brown eyes. She was probably thinking, “This moron who can’t even hold a brush is going to be riding me for the next hour? Sigh. Just keep the sugar cubes coming, Pam!”

A little about Pam. First I must confess and share I was a little nervous about choosing a riding instructor, number one, because I know next to nothing about the whole thing, so how would I know if someone’s good or not, and two, I wasn’t sure I could get along with a “horse person.” You know what I mean. In this world, there are cat people, dog people, bird people, and yes, horse people. They eat, breathe and sleep the animals they love and raise. They speak an entirely different language than you or I. Their knowledge of their particular area of expertise is bottomless, and they have very strong opinions on the subject! Some of them have a lot of disdain for those of us who are ignorant of their area of expertise. Sometimes this disdain can border on snobbery. I may get a LOT of flak for saying all this, but I can’t help it, I have experienced it. I was afraid of meeting someone who not only would intimidate me but would also hold my ignorance against me. This is why I arranged to meet Pam and her horses prior to making a decision on taking lessons. My fears were groundless. The day I met Pam, she was holding her horse Avalon while the farrier worked on him. Avalon is rather large – 17 hands, which in English means VERY TALL, or as Yahoo answers says:

A 17.0 Hands horse would be:
68 inches tall or
5 foot 6 inches or
172.72 centimeters or
1.7272 meters

And this is at the withers, or the horse’s shoulder height! Perhaps Avalon should be renamed Amazon! But, I digress. Pam has short no-nonsense blonde hair, an open, friendly smile and sparkling blue eyes. She’s not quite my height (5’5”) and actually used to work at a bank. She is very down to earth and talked horse in a way I understood without being condescending. What clinched it for me was when she handed the lead rope to me halfway through my visit and asked me to hold the horse while she went inside for some paperwork. What that says to me is – “I trust you and your abilities enough to take charge of my horse for me.” So what if the farrier was also there – he literally had his hands full with that giant hoof he was trimming, which in my view made the responsibility of the horse-holding that much more important!

Throughout lesson one, Pam was patient, and imparted a constant wealth of information of all things horse. During the tacking up process, she didn’t just demonstrate what to do, she had me to just about everything myself, and the hands-on experience although a little unnerving, what with all the buckles, straps and such, was invaluable. As impressed as I was with Pam’s knowledge of all things horse-related, it was her innate knowledge of the principles of adult education that really rocked me. I am in the business of training and educating adults, so I really appreciated that she used clear, adult language, genuine technical terms and repetition, all in a respectful manner. One of the key concepts of adult learning is to treat people with respect and to take into consideration their own knowledge and life experience when delivering training to them. I felt that throughout the lesson. My nervousness dissipated, and as I relaxed, I began to feel good about the skills from my childhood lessons that came back to me, and I marveled at the new concepts Pam was imparting, and how one built upon the other.

Pam said tacking up ordinarily takes 10 -15 minutes. I can’t tell you how long it took me to learn it, because I was completely immersed in the experience. I learned that each horse reacts differently to tack up. Most love the brushing part – can’t blame them there. Lola, in particular, loves to have her belly scratched. Most do not like having the girth tightened. This is the belt that holds the saddle in place. Tightening the girth is a two-part process; once when you first put the saddle on, and a second tightening may be necessary after you mount up (get on) the horse. It’s good to tighten the buckle slowly. Some horses will try to bite if you pull too hard. Lola does not bite, but she does snap her teeth in an expression of her disapproval for the whole thing. Some horses will hold their breath during the girth tightening, to avoid discomfort. The whole point is to make the process as gradual as you can, to prevent as much discomfort to the horse as possible. And, before everything, always check for any kind of sore on the horse’s body, or foreign matter that may get between the horse and the tack and cause pain. Not only for humane purposes, but also for the rider’s safety. You may have heard of the term “burr under the saddle”. You do not want to be riding a horse when something about the saddle causes him or her pain. Like any living creature, the horse will do whatever it takes to get away from that pain. This usually means dumping the unsuspecting, innocent rider, and leaving him or her far, far behind. Always remember, a horse is an animal of flight.

Once we had the saddle on, it was time to put on the bridle. This part, Pam did herself, while I carefully studied. The bridle fits over the horse’s head and face, has a series of straps to adjust. The bridle features a metal bit, which fits in the horse’s mouth between the teeth and on top of the tongue, and is directly connected to the reins, which in concert, control the horse’s movements and allow a means of communication between the rider and the horse.

Once tack up was complete, Pam handed over the reins and we walked to the outdoor riding ring. Part one of lesson one was complete. As we walked and Pam talked more horse, I nodded enthusiastically and practically tingled in anticipation for the next part. Our only audience was the wind in the trees, and a small knot of horses who gathered at the fence, munching their hay, like moviegoers eating popcorn and waiting of the show to start.

Stay tuned for Part II!

Gunz on horseback

2010-12-08T12:28:00.000-05:00

Last week, I was so excited to meet Pam, my new riding instructor. I was on an almost alarming high afterwards, it felt almost manic like a Starbucks coffee overdose. What was this unfamiliar giddiness, these butterflies in my stomach? As I explained my plans for horseback riding and eventual horse ownership to a friend it dawned on me that horseback riding, actually, horses are a true passion for me. Now I get it, what people mean by having a passion for something. I have tapped into that child who used to ride, the one who dreamed of horse ownership, who felt wildly exhilarated when astride a horse, on top of the world, in control of a massive beautiful animal. The saddle was the one place during my childhood when I felt BIG, bigger than the adults, or anyone else, and in control of my life, for that one precious hour a week. So, I thought, THIS is what passion feels like. I like working out, I like gardening, I like chicken farming, I really like knitting, but this, this thing I feel for horseback riding and these animals, this is PASSION.

Today is my first refresh riding lesson. It is in the 30’s outside, the wind is blowing, and I am planning to ride a horse OUTSIDE for an hour at 1:30 this afternoon. I am wearing two pairs of long johns under khaki pants. I have thermal riding boots, a fuchsia helmet and thinsulate riding gloves. I have my money, my consent forms. Suddenly, I am NERVOUS. What if I can’t do this anymore? What if I really don’t like it as much as I thought I did? What if I SUCK? Maybe I am too old for this. I waited too long. I am a year shy of 50 years old. I know some people think I am crazy. It’s not as if I have talked about my love for horses for the past 40 years since I actively rode. To most, it may seem as if this dream of mine came completely out of the blue, like some insane mid-life crisis. A horse instead of a red convertible.

But… so what? So now, instead of the crazy chicken lady I will be known as the crazy horse lady. Guess what! I really don’t care! In a little over one hour, I AM GOING TO BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD, TOTALLY IN CONTROL OF MY OWN LIFE AND MY OWN DREAMS!

Back from a long hiatus!

2010-09-01T10:05:00.001-04:00

Forgive the silence since June, but it's been a busy summer here on the chicken farm! The transformation challenge completed and I did not win the contest! The woman who did (out of 1500 entries) was amazing! In my opinion, ALL of the women who competed are amazing and to varying degrees, we all improved our fitness levels and made new friends along the way. Thanks to all readers who followed my blog. Here's a comparison from Week 1 to Week 8:

Week 1

Week 8

I'm glad I did it. While nothing miraculous, I lost a few inches and certainly gained muscle. I credit the challenge with helping further strengthen my shoulder which had been injured from November last year, and the challenge was a great follow up from the physical therapy sessions I had in April and May. I also credit the challenge for getting me into good enough shape to try rock wall climbing with my sons for the first time. I proudly scaled a moderately difficult wall. Not bad for 48 years old!

My workouts have fallen off a little bit because of competing activities, such as trying to figure out what to do with five million fresh garden tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli, squash, onions, corn, melons, cabbage, etc... Seems I spend most evenings and weekends chopping, cooking, canning, freezing, and such. However no complaints here as the fresh produce is so yummy!

There is also news in the henhouse! Nancy, my cornish game hen is a proud new mother! She had gone broody and seated on an egg for nearly three weeks and greeted all of my misguided attempts at egg-collecting with a stern peck at my hand. I naturally decided to keep my fingers intact and humor her. Imagine my surprise when one morning I spied two mini chicken feet peeking out from beneath her breast feathers as she stood in the pen! The little yellow ball of fluff is now about a month old. Here is an early photo:


Nancy and Squeak

Nancy is a fiercely competent mother hen. The chick now has feathers and spends her youthful days under Nancy's watchful tutelage, foraging around her idyllic little world and learning all the best places to find the most succulent green grass, juicy bugs and taking lazy dustbaths beneath the shade of the hydrangea bush. Nobody messes with Nancy, hence, nobody messes with Squeak. I hope Squeak is a hen, because frankly, one rooster is enough. Sprite's days are numbered - although he temporarily redeemed his ornery self by producing Squeak, otherwise he has fallen way out of favor with me after intimidating my two year old niece, Freja during her visit.


Nancy and Squeak lounging in the shade

The late summer days are passing us by in a langorous heatwave here on the East Coast. Hubby purchased a mower deck for the tractor, so the field is freshly mowed and the heavenly perfume of drying grass hangs on the early morning mist and gradually wafts along the midday breeze as it passes through the screen of my office slider to tickle my nose and tempt me away from my work.

Green Acres is the place to be!

It's been a fine summer full of family, celebrations and new life. I leave you with one last dreamy summer image and promise to be back soon!

Sun Worshiper

----K

Shoulder wrinkles

2010-06-24T12:51:00.000-04:00

I've turned a corner it seems, and I really hope there is no turning back. This is week 6, day 4 of the transformation challenge, and I am feeling some muscle soreness. But, it is a good sore - not injury sore. Yesterday was a chest workout. Since my shoulder rehab in April, I've had to take it easy on exercises like presses, and especially flyes. Two months ago, a push up was impossible, the shoulder would not allow it. This phase of the challenge requires the participants to increase weights. I've been gradually upping weights over the past 5 weeks, with success. The pre-injury me would not have dreamed being able to press 12 lb dumbells overhead or being able to complete a set of db flyes using 10 lbs would be an accomplishment, but the wiser me was ecstatic at being able to do so.
Fast forward to yesterday. Yesterday was chest day. (that sounds like some sort of strip joint special, doesn't it?) Anyway, yesterday's workout consisted of a series of chest muscle weight exercises, culminating with "push ups to failure".   I did DB presses on the incline bench with 15 lb dumbbells. Three sets, AWESOME. Next were Smith Machine chest presses. I began using the bar only, no weight added, ten reps, and it was easy. Too easy. So, I added 15 lbs and finished the sets. Got tired, but no shoulder pain! And this following the DB presses. OK - on to the machine flyes. I decided to try 45lbs for the first set of ten. It was hard, but I did it. Had to drop the weight down to 35 for the remaining - didn't want to risk hurting myself. It still was difficult, so that was great. Finally, the real challenge, next was push ups to failure. Real push ups, not modified. I set up my mat, took a deep breath, and got into position. At this point, my muscles were pretty used up. I was able to get 5 off. It didn't hurt, but my muscles were out of gas, and I just couldn't push out another one. So, I decided to continue with another set of modified push ups, (girl push ups on my knees with feet crossed at ankles) I was able to push out 10 of those. I considered that a victory and moved on to cardio, which was intervals for 30 minutes on the elliptical.

Here's a funny aside: The gym was a bit crowded, so I had to stake out floor space for the push ups among other gym goers. I was so focused that I realized a little too late as I did my push ups, I was positioned face-to-toe with a guy who was doing leg raises. And he was wearing shorts. Think about it. I just lowered my eyes and kept going.

So what's with the shoulder wrinkles, you may ask? Well, see, much to my dismay I noticed one day that when I raised my arms over my head the skin on the back of my shoulders actually wrinkled. Deep furrows in the flab. They actually looked like miniature butt cracks, or misguided cleavage. How do I notice these things, you may wonder. Let's just say when you get to be 40 something, you can't help but notice your skin doing weird things in weird places, particularly around the joints. Nora Ephron who wrote "I Feel Bad About My Neck" refers to it as "that thing that happens at your elbows and at the top of your knees." Well, I see that stuff but what I really took exception to (and what she never mentioned) was the shoulder wrinkles. Not fair! I wonder if Michelle Obama has those, she with the beautiful arms. Sigh.   So, I confess to you my loyal blog readers that yesterday, after my killer workout, I was admiring the newly formed muscle definition of my shoulders and arms.   I decided to turn my back to the mirror and do a little flexing (in the privacy of my own home, may I add). Something looked different, and I realized the shoulder wrinkles were almost GONE!!! I am not kidding. I swear to God, for the rest of the night I kept finding excuses to pass by the mirror and flex this way, then that, just to be sure it wasn't an optical illusion, or delusion as the case may be. I can happily report that as of this morning, the shoulder wrinkles are still nearly gone. The thing at the top of the knee, the elbows, the neck, crows feet, all still there. I'm afraid all that stuff would require surgical intervention.   But, the indignity of the shoulder wrinkles is no more!

That, my friends, is what I call a good week.    Looking at this picture, I think I should spend this weekend evening out that farmer's tan!

-K aka Gunz

Week 6 progress

2010-06-21T11:16:00.001-04:00

Week 6 has begun in earnest -the weights are heavier and things are stepping up with the Transformation Challenge. I was feeling discouraged last week, because I just didn't feel all that transformed. I decided to take some progress photos, as some others have done and when I compared them side by side with the starting photos, I was surprised at what I saw. There really is a difference! I don't look all that muscular to me, yet, but I do see a difference. So, of course I decided to share one of the photos with my compadres:
Here is the back view 6 weeks ago and next is at the end of week 5! I hope I am not imagining it, but definitely don't see those ugly "rolls" anymore.

I really see a difference! Hoping that the next three weeks brings even more change!

Feeling very focused today - was up at 6am and did the workout, fed the chickens, and watered the garden. I've decided since I can never sleep past 6am anymore, I'm just going to get up and get things done instead of lying in bed thinking of all the things I want to get done! Much more productive.
Have a great week all!
K aka gunz

Pull me up, Scotty!

2010-06-14T17:52:00.000-04:00

It is now week 5 of the challenge. This means Phase 2 has begun, and the workouts will be getting more difficult! Today was shoulders and abs, and one of the exercises required me to do three sets of wide-grip pull ups. I was able to pull myself up approximately an inch or two only. I did attempt several times and boy did I feel it! The rest of the workout went well, although I was shaking like a leaf as I did the V-sit ab exercise. However, I did complete all three sets. For cardio, I chose to jump rope out in my driveway. Remember jumping rope as a kid?
How on earth did we manage to do that so effortlessly? I recall how much fun it was. Now, it's only 5 or 10 minutes and my ankles hurt, and I am totally out of breath and drenched in sweat! I will say, it makes for a great high intensity, interval workout.

The diet also changes a bit this phase. The calories are increased to help with the increased weights. The diet combines specific amounts of proteins, fats and macronutrients, so some of the menu items are kind of odd. For example, I just had my "snack" which consisted of a tablespoon of natural peanut butter and a scoop and a half of whey protein (mixed in water). Yum-my! My body must be adjusting because I don't feel too full anymore, nor do I have indigestion. Amazing how the body adapts.

I've discovered a real camaraderie among the contestants. We chat in forums, and follow each others blogs. The women are courageous, funny, and discovering strength they didn't know they had. Most of them, like me, have competing interests, like career, family, and other fitness goals. One hot ticket wants to try out Roller Derby! That has now officially gone onto my "top 100 things to do in this lifetime" list. These women have overcome obstacles, like health issues, and weight loss problems. They are remarkable in the way they keep trying, and share their journeys including self doubts, fears and self discoveries.

I can't wait to see all of the "after" photos. For many of us, the contest may end, but the friendships will keep going as we continue on with our life's journeys.

Have a great week!

-K aka "gunz"

Self destructive patterns require some self-butt kicking!

2010-06-12T12:01:00.000-04:00

The gunz four weeks in...

Work butt off. Self sabotage. Regret. Beat self up. Repeat......

This is the story of my so-called transformation. Just ended week 4. It was a rough week, I had to work out two days at home, while nursing my sick chicken. When I don't go to the gym, I usually skip the cardio portion of the workout, which is really important. Why do I hate cardio so? I always feel so good after I do it! Still, I did get to the gym twice and I did all the days of the workout. That's a positive. Sadly, the chicken did not make it and yesterday she passed away. So I capped off my week with some major self pity, couple glasses of wine, a junior cheeseburger, some french fries AND potato chips. Please. Someone, Shoot. Me. Now. By some miracle, I am 2lbs lighter this week, and have lost noticeable inches and seem to be gaining definition.

Here we are on the verge of Phase II, where the program is stepped up. The next four weeks require the same strict diet balance of protein, carbs and macronutrients, plus heavier weight lifting AND more cardio. I need to stay away from alcohol, not because I am some alcoholic, but because of the negative effects alcohol has on metabolism. And for goodness sake, french fries and chips? Really? Anyone who knows me knows that is NOT like me at all. And what's the explanation? Grieving a chicken? Please. I need to get a grip.

Time to re-focus. Next week, I have plans to get together with my "Little" sister, attend book club, knitting group, and work is going to be busy as well. Time for me to get outside of my own head and my own crap, and do something with and for others. No excuses. Starting today, I am going to kick my own butt harder than anyone else could, except maybe Jillian Michaels!

Thanks for reading the rant.... time to go to the Muscle and Fitness Hers message boards for a boost of motivation.

--K aka Gunz

Update on Big Red

2010-06-11T15:19:00.001-04:00

This really isn't a true Fitgunz blog, but for those who have followed the saga of Big Red the chicken, I have sad news. She passed away today, in her little infirmary box. When it became apparent to me that she wasn't going to recover, I put her in the coop to spend her last hours with her flock. Her companion chicken, Cera, aka Little Red, spent the day in vigil, crooning over and over again next to her, and I checked this afternoon, and Big Red was gone. When I opened the human door, the other chickens filed in, and milled around the box. It was as if they held their own little "chicken wake" paying last respects.Even the rooster seemed very subdued. I called Jon (hubby) into the coop and we both said good bye. It was so sad. We both apologized to her for not taking better care. Then we left, and all the other chickens, including Cera, walked out behind us. Crazy, I know, but it was somehow touching.

Live and learn as the saying goes.

- K aka Gunz

2010-06-09T21:38:00.007-04:00

As I have shared before, I work from home as a telecommuter. I also raise a small backyard flock of chickens. The job allows me the freedom to monitor the coop and the chicken activity, and it's an amusing and stress-relieving diversion from the day to day chaos of the corporate world. Two weeks ago, the diversion became a stressor that has come to occupy the top of my priority list.

When you allow your chickens to free-range, the result is beneficial to all involved. The chickens are happy, well-exercised, and very well-fed on a diet of greens, bugs and whatever other organic tidbits they can scratch up. The humans enjoy delicious organic eggs and the joy of watching the flock interact. My chickens stay in a pretty nice radius within eye and earshot of the house and office, occasionally hopping the stone wall to visit my neighbors compost pile, fortunately, with their blessing. My dog is a faithful guardian who successfully keeps predators away from the girls. Every evening, the rooster shuffles his little rooster dance among the girls and herds them to safety before sundown, inside the tightly shut coop, where, after a brief tussle over positions on the perches, the girls and Mr. Roo settle in for the night. My end of the day ritual consists of walking through the "human" door, counting the hens and bidding them all a good night followed by the ceremonial closing of the chicken door. Then it's lights out and into the human house for me. A very peaceful and comforting ritual to end a happy day of foraging for the chickens and egg collecting and observation of their quirky antics, for me.

This all changed two weeks ago, after a very stressful day in the office. I finished a very late dinner then dragged myself out of my chair where I had been dozing, and fell into bed. It was midnight. The dog began pacing the floor, standing at the open window, sniffing at the screen and becoming very agitated. "What's wrong with him?" I muttered. My husband said "Did you close the coop?" I shot bolt upright, jumped out of bed and grabbed the flashlight and with the dog, ran to the coop with my heart in my throat. Immediately, the dog made a beeline in the direction of the stone wall which runs behind the coop. He was obviously in pursuit of something. I threw open the "human door" and began counting chickens. They all looked normal, except for Nancy, my little Cornish hen, who incidentally survived a previous daytime predator attack last year. She was pressed up against the chicken wire, on the floor in the corner. I quickly noticed two missing girls; one of my new Aracaunas, Lucy, a beautiful strawberry blonde and black feathered girl, and Big Red, our largest Rhode Island Red chicken. My heart sunk. I closed the door and headed around back with the flashlight, and saw a terrifying sight. There, lying motionless on the ground at the end of a long trail of feathers, was Big Red. Dead. I looked everywhere else and could not find a trace of Lucy. It was devastating. I went in the house and told my husband. He said we couldn't just leave her body out there, and we both headed back outside. I didn't have the heart or the fortitude to look at her, so hubby took the lead and bent over her. "She's still breathing," he said.
My heart sank; all I could think was now we had to euthanize her. He bent to lift her off the ground and as he touched her, she leaped up on both feet and began squawking like a banshee! She was quite alive.

So, for the past two weeks, we have been nursing Big Red back to health. For a week, she stayed inside the coop. (Can't blame her for that!) and didn't do much. She didn't seem to be eating or drinking much but the cut on her neck looked like it was healing. Every day I brought her water, and coaxed her to drink, but she showed little interest. The day she finally dipped into the water with enthusiasm and took food from my hand, my husband and I rejoiced as if she were a sick child. That same day, she ventured outside with the rest of the flock and all seemed well.

Then, two days ago, she relapsed and we discovered there was a bite we missed, underneath her feathers at the base of her leg. I did some research on line and began administering first aid to clean her up, flush out the wound, (WARNING: GRAPHIC DETAIL ALERT) which by that time had become infested with maggots. I am a very squeamish person,but realized I had a responsibility and managed to roll up my sleeves and treat the wound with peroxide, water, then a special spray to kill the pests and keep them away. Big Red was not happy, but she was too tired to protest much. She spent the day sleeping in a box next to my desk in the office and then she survived the night. Today, I repeated the wound cleaning and dressing, and coaxed her to drink water, which yesterday she was not doing. All day she rested in her box, and by the end of today, she was alert and watchful, and managed a couple of mild indignant squawks when I checked on her. When I work on her, she fixes me a level gaze with her golden-colored eye as I speak softly to her. Her life is in my hands. When I leave her, she closes her eyes and rests. She is truly a brave soul and she deserves a chance to fight through this.

When you raise chickens, predator attacks happen. You lose some chickens. It's part of "farm" life. It's painful, but you do your best and move on. This was difficult since it only happened because I forgot to close the coop. I dropped the ball. Because of me, the flock was left totally vulnerable when they should have been their safest. I need to forgive myself and move on, and at some point I will. I hope Big Red makes it through. If her spirit is any indicator she will. My morning ritual has been altered. I check the "infirmary" first, sighing in relief when I see the red head pop up over the box. Then, I open the coop and let the others out for their morning forage and feed. A little of the sheen has worn off the country living experience, replaced with the reality of the responsibility raising chickens (or any of God's creatures for that matter) entails. I have a fully stocked first aid kit and a newfound bravery for administering not-so-pleasant care. Hopefully, I will never forget the door again, and in the future, I will be better prepared for an emergency.

Transformation challenge still goes on. During the chicken nursing emergency, I worked out at home and did some modifications.

Today was shoulders/abs and I was able to leave Big Red and go to the gym. I am still sore from my leg day three days ago! I have a feeling the abs will be sore tomorrow or the day after. Today I was able to add weight to the workout - a significant gain, since the shoulder has been recovering. It's definitely becoming stronger! The eating plan seems to be wreaking some havoc on my digestion; the frequent meals are keeping me feeling full, but maybe a little too full! I only started the meal plan in earnest two weeks ago; prior to that I ate cleanly and counted carbs, proteins, fats, but didn't really do the 6 meals a day. Could be the body adjusting. We shall see!

Here is a link to a video blog demonstrating how I adapted one of the exercises to work at home. Fortunately it is not sideways, so you won't get a crick in your neck when viewing!

Have a great week, and keep your fingers crossed for Big Red.

K - aka Gunz

Week 4 - Where'd my mojo go?

2010-06-07T13:34:00.007-04:00

Beginning week four today and looking for my mojo, which somehow got lost last week at the week’s end. My husband and others are beginning to notice changes in my appearance, more definition, and smaller clothes are fitting better. Hubby and I went clothes shopping yesterday, and – girls you will know exactly what I mean when I say this – I actually did not hate what I saw in the dressing room, under those unforgiving lights. So, even though I am not staying perfectly on the diet 100 percent of the time, and I occasionally miss a gym day, all the work I AM doing is starting to show.

That said, today is a typical Monday and I still want to slack off from the gym! Energy levels have not been optimal, but a lot of that is due to the humidity we had last week, and over the weekend, I think. I had a wonderful weekend with my sons visiting. I just love it when they are both under the same roof with me, overnight. Of course, we went out to dinner, and yesterday I made a big country breakfast with bacon, fresh eggs and blueberry pancakes. We enjoyed looking at my eldest son and girlfriend’s vacation pictures, and I overall enjoyed my boys’ sense of humor and good company. When everyone left, it was pouring rain, so hubby and I went clothes shopping and followed that with dinner out. I had some really great steak kabobs and substituted the rice with a baked sweet potato (no butter) and side salad with oil and vinegar.

Maybe it is the high protein, or the frequency of meals, or both, but have been getting a lot of heartburn. During the week, I eat the small, frequent meals, but often on weekends, it’s fewer meals and larger portions. This seems to be when I have the issue. I guess I need to learn to keep the portions low on weekends. Maybe just too much change for the body to handle. Yesterday’s meal out was just too much steak, I think, and last night I had to take something to feel better. Today, I still feel full, so for breakfast I had a protein shake with greek yogurt, soy milk, blueberries and some whole oats and flax seed blended in. I just didn’t feel like solid food first thing today. I still feel a low-level malaise, and really will need to push myself to do the workout today.

Not sure what’s going on, but onward I continue to go!
K, aka gunz

Sometimes ya just gotta say……well I won’t say it!

2010-06-01T18:46:00.011-04:00

Remember the movie, Risky Business? Remember Joel's buddy, Miles the one who gave him the advice "Sometimes ya just gotta say f-it!"? That advice comes to mind when I think back on my Memorial Day weekend.

This week its week three of the challenge and I’m already a day behind on my workout schedule! Yesterday was Memorial Day and I attended a family picnic, replete with Mohitos, burgers and potato salad. Oh boy! I’m hoping the two eight hour days spent gardening makes up for it.

I was so darn tired this morning, couldn’t stop hitting the snooze button , but finally had to face up to the fact that the work week is back, and three glorious days off are over. Today was shoulder day for me. Shoulder workout begins with military presses, and I practiced making an amateur video of that in order to spice up the blog, but I can't figure out how to change the orientation of the video, since I positioned the camera sideways to get more in the frame, well, now the video just looks like it's sideways. Hopefully I will figure that out. Meantime, I recommend watching the video from a sideways reclining position, munching on a healthy snack, like carrot sticks, with a bowl of rotten tomatoes handy! Just be careful not to choke when you are laughing so hard! Disclaimer: I am not a fitness professional, please regard this video for entertainment only, not as an instructional how to LOL.

Here it is! (don't hurt your neck trying to watch)

Last week I did every single workout and followed my prescribed eating plan. Then came the holiday weekend and I just took a powder! I indulged in wine, a Mohito and burger on Saturday, and potato chips. I confess I was BAD. On Monday, I capped it all off with an ice cream cone. Was it worth it? In a word, yes. I thoroughly enjoyed my family, friends, and husband this past weekend. We spent around 16 hours total digging boulders, planting, digging more boulders, raking and hustling around the field carrying tools, water and other garden essentials.

Here's photo of us in full gardening mode (and regalia) on Saturday. Yes, that is a pink bandana on my head. The color scares away the bugs, and deflects the sun from ruining my youthful reddish-brunette with foils hair color which I pay so dearly for every six weeks! The bandana has become the essential gardening accessory! I fully expect to see women everywhere rushing to the dollar store for one of their very own.

At the end of our day, we enjoyed a nice dinner on the deck of a local restaurant where I had a nice piece of fish and some good wine. The next day we worked again and then sat by the fire with that sirloin burger and chips he had been craving. Monday, we attended a traditional family barbecue with the usual menu items and that ice cream cone.

Regrets? No. I am a firm believer in balancing hard work and life’s pleasures. It does mind, body and spirit good to take an occasional vacation from the discipline, the routine and the single minded focus of the job, the program, the workout, etc. Just as long as it is a brief vacation and you come back to center when it’s over.

Here's to finding center again! As soon as I get un-sideways.

-Kim aka Gunz

Transformation Challenge Week 2

2010-05-24T18:48:00.006-04:00

Day 1 Week 2 - today was shoulder and ab day. Getting to the gym in the am is definitely the best time to go. Though it was busy, all of the equipment I needed was pretty much wide open, including the cardio machines. The shoulder is holding up very well; all the physical therapy really seems to have done the trick. I was able to up the weights and get to fatigue without hurting. I just go slowly and am extremely careful about form. One exercise for example, was seated smith machine military presses; I did three sets without adding any weight to the bar. It was still hard work, but I didn't overstress the shoulder. By watching carefully in the mirror, I could see if something was off about my form, correct it immediately and view the muscle being worked. I've really learned how to focus my attention on which muscles are being worked, and really feel the movement.

Recently, my employer (company name omitted) began a new Wellness program, and I pulled together a few of my fellow telecommuting colleagues to form a team. We call ourselves "Damsels in De-Stress". We each received a pedometer in the mail. At first, I just left it in the box, but when I posted my
individual results I saw my teammates had posted thousands of steps taken and this is part of how the competition is being measured! I was remiss not to have worn mine. Just today, I wore it to the gym (and all day afterward)where I did my shoulder workout then 30 minutes of intervals on the elliptical machine. I just logged my progress for the day - 21,235 steps taken! Wow. Even the web site where we enter our progress seemed doubtful - it asked me to check the numbers and click "ok" again! These little gizmos really can be a motivational tool. I think everyone should add one to their arsenal of fitness tools. Hopefully, I won't lose mine in a porta-potty like my hapless sister-in-law. Maybe I need to get a back-up!

Last week, I confess to having missed my leg workout day. My schedule got too crazy at the end of the week. I did spend the entire day Saturday gardening, hauling compost, raking manure, digging and walking the property hauling water to the blueberry bushes. I really hope that makes up for it somewhat, but this week I cannot miss a single day. This challenge only lasts 8 weeks which is not a lot of time to make a visible transformation!

Speaking of transformations, the newest Aracana hens in the flock now have names: Henrietta and Lucy. Although they don't seem to know it yet, they are just about as tall as the rest of the girls. They still panic and hide when the coop fills up, but they do venture out less timidly and have actually begun to leave the coop for the little outside pen. One of these days, I will see them basking in the sunlight or dusting themselves up in the garden, and I'll know they are growing up. Sigh. Don't they all just grow up so fast?

Happy Monday everyone and have a great week!

-K AKA Gunz

The Transformation Challenge Week 1

2010-05-19T19:51:00.006-04:00

Well, it is officially day 3 of the Muscle and Fitness Hers Transformation Challenge contest. The magazine suggests workouts and diet changes over the course of 8 weeks to help women lose body fat, gain lean muscle and transform their bodies and physical health, and the after photos will be judged. First prize is a trip to California for a photo shoot and a chance to train with famous trainers. There are over 1500 women competing! And some of the before pictures look like after pics to me! Wowza. But, that’s ok with me because I am discovering there is a camaraderie among these ladies and a lot of support being given in the online discussion forums. Further, many women are blogging about it. These blogs are a glimpse into the lives of other women, many like myself, who are trying to make healthy changes in their lives.
I’ve seen a lot of courage out there already. There are women with young families, women who want to lose that last ten pounds, some who want to wear that two piece bathing suit and others who really need to make a change in order to live longer and enjoy their lives. They are courageous. They are posting their progress AND before photos on their blog. So… in the spirit of accountability, and inspired by their courage, here are some before shots of me.
First the stats:
Starting weight: 133
Measurements:
thigh 21.5
chest 36
waist 28
hip 36
B 11
calf 15
Now, for the before pictures… sigh. I hate this part.

I’ll keep blogging about my usual health and fitness related stuff, and periodically will check back in with status updates or challenge topics.
Thanks to all my friends and family who support this crazy 48 year old dreamer who would just love to get back to California!

--Kim AKA Gunz

Clean eating and my love affair with Jillian Michaels

2010-05-17T14:13:00.013-04:00

OK, I admit it; I am absolutely in love with Jillian Michaels. She has officially topped Oprah on my list of women to admire. I would love the privilege to work out with her just so I could get yelled at and broken down into a silly sobbing, sodden mess so she could zero in on my biggest insecurity – the one thing that holds me back from achieving my goals and being everything I want to be, and feeling good about it all. It’s so fascinating to watch her cut through the BS and help people see what really is going on inside their heads and hearts that got them to the obese and unhealthy place in their lives. Some may not agree with her tactics, but I firmly believe breakthroughs like that can’t always be achieved with kid gloves and sympathy. The layers of denial we build on our journey through the Amazon jungle of life are incredibly strong and it takes some pretty tough stuff to break through. She seems to have the formula to open up cracks in a person’s armor and then gently lift up and brush off the wounded person within and start that rebuilding process. I always hope that the person who emerges has gained the self-knowledge to never go back to that awful place again. Some may call me a sap for loving this kind of stuff, I can live with that.

I promised to talk about clean eating this time and so I will. There are a plethora of books and articles about clean eating, but here’s what it boils down to for me: Eating clean means eating foods that support a healthy body. This translates into a combination:

• healthy fats
• complex carbs
• lean protein

Additionally, choose as many all natural, organic and non processed foods in the above category as possible. I am not a nutritionist – so I can’t prescribe what is right for you but I can share what works for me. Coming from the corporate world, I’m big on results that can be measured. So, aside from feeling a whole lot better in the last three years, achieving new levels of fitness with a much healthier body, the numbers just don’t lie. After about 6 months of following clean eating guidelines, the results of my annual physical surprised me. The nurse who phoned me with the results said “You must exercise.” Next, she commented that I must be a healthy eater. All in all, I had reduced my blood pressure, raised my good cholesterol, and lowered my bad cholesterol from the previous year. How’s that for Return On Investment? I was exhilarated to actually be able to measure results on paper.

My clean eating is based on numbers as well. Every day I target certain grams of protein, carbs, sugar (as little as possible of that!) and a high and a low calorie target as well. On active days I consume a little more, non-active days a little less.

Tips and Tricks I have used:

• If you can’t afford or access a professional nutritionist or fitness consultant, find free on line calculators to determine your numbers.

• Use a food scale. Mine cost 4 dollars at a second hand shop. The food scale is an easy way to accurately measure portions in grams and ounces.

• Track your food with Fitday.com. This is a free web site where you can enter your foods consumed during the day and see where you are at within your numbers. You can view both a list and a pie chart, great for the visual types among us.

• Use seasonings instead of butter – try lemon juice, or italian seasonings on your veggies.

• Use olive oil and balsamic vinegar on your salads, rather than bottled salad dressings.

• Put veggies into your sandwich – sprouts, cucumbers, tomatoes, leaf lettuce – pile those high they have lots of fiber and fill you up, plus they taste good.

• Try sprouted grain bread instead of regular bread.

• Zap an apple with cinnamon in the microwave to satisfy a sweet craving (do not add sugar!) it tastes pretty good and cinnamon and cinnamon is said to have a positive impact to LDL cholesterol and blood sugar, among other health benefits.

It can be daunting and overwhelming to think about what you put in your body every minute of the day. It takes real discipline in the beginning, but over time, as you start to feel better, that becomes enough of a motivation to keep you in line. It’s not a diet, as they say, it really is a lifestyle. And, let’s be reasonable – no way am I perfect, I am a realist, and so I still allow myself to indulge in some favorite not-so-clean foods OCCASIONALLY AND IN MODERATION. But to be honest, I don’t really even like to eat sugary or fatty foods anymore. A couple of bites and it just doesn’t taste that incredibly good to me like it used to. So don’t bust my chops if you run into me at the local ice cream stand – although, they DO have very tasty sugar free ice cream, LOL.

My advice to newbies is to read up a little on clean eating and take the time to read the labels on the foods you buy. Try it out for a month. You can make little changes like eating brown whole grain rice instead of white rice, cutting butter and mayonnaise, make your pancakes out of oatmeal (lots of great recipes out there for oatmeal protein pancakes), eat egg white omelets – stuff like that. Or you can go all out like I did and totally remake your eating habits for bigger results. You will find you feel much more satisfied and not as hungry, and your numbers will definitely improve.

Guess I’ve gone on enough – it’s time to be my own Jillian and get my butt to the gym before the day is over. Thanks for hanging in and reading again and hope you have a fantastic week!

-K aka Gunz

Lessons Learned

2010-05-13T18:16:00.000-04:00

the author with her
white silkie chicken.

Wow, it’s been a while since I blogged, and topics are just piling up in my head. On this beautiful spring week following one of the most enjoyable and relaxing Mother’s Days in recent memory, I’m reflecting on lessons learned. From day one, I was always the type that had to learn the hard way. No matter how gently my patient mother (and father) guided me, it seemed I always contrarily chose to make a stand and do it my way, whether it be a two-year olds insistence on holding that beloved toy over the edge of a two story balcony and inevitably dropping it, to stubbornly refusing to stop dating that bad boy who was nothing but trouble, and subsequently experiencing a very shattered heart in the end. Why should I be any different today? When I first hurt myself in November I chose to push through the pain, as if I were some world class Olympian, ignoring common sense, life experience and the hard truth about being 40-something - no not old, by any means, but still, not as quick to recover as in younger days.

But before I wax all philosophical, first an update on my progress: I am two weeks into the program for the Muscle and Fitness Hers Transformation Challenge contest , and my shoulder has been officially cleared for exercise. I have progressed from barely being able to lift my coffee cup off the end table next to my recliner (my lowest point) to completing three sets of modified push- ups and other arm/shoulder exercises with low weights and no pain other than normal muscle soreness caused by a workout. What I have learned: Being injured and going to physical therapy for a month and a half with two great therapists Amanda and Pam, taught me to slow down and focus on proper form using lighter weights first, and to pay attention to my body. No more burning through my routine thinking about things like the grocery list or work problems! When I focus on the exercise and pay attention to the body, I can feel the muscles engage. Now I can tell if my trapezius is taking over for the weaker mid-back muscles, and therefore make an adjustment to my posture or know when it’s time to stop and let the fatigued muscles rest. I realize though it was painful and frustrating, this injury was a gift that made me a better weight lifter. Isn’t life so much the same? When we don’t pay attention, or fail to live in the present, we make mistakes and miss the important stuff, and sometimes, someone gets hurt. So pay attention! And…have patience. Mom always said “Patience is a virtue, Kim.” Well, Mom it took 48 years but I finally get it. For today, anyway!

Before I close this blog, here’s a valuable tip I’d like to share: If you have been injured, or are recovering from an injury, follow your workout with ice massage. Take an ice cube, partially wrapped in a paper towel, or water frozen in a paper cup (peel the cup to expose a layer of ice) and rub it over the injured or sore area for about ten minutes. Ice will help increase circulation and interfere with pain signals. It is also an anti-inflammatory agent that helps speed healing. When I practiced massage therapy I used this on sports injured clients with great results. If you are a baseball fan, think about the times you have seen great pitchers sitting in the dugout between innings with their arms wrapped in ice packs. It actually feels great. Just keep a towel handy for the dripping water! Hot muscles melt ice cubes quickly!

Next time I’ll talk about clean eating. Thanks for paying attention to my ramblings!

…. K aka “Gunz”

A Woman on a Mission!

2010-04-27T18:21:00.003-04:00

A couple of days ago I posted a rather vague Facebook update: "Day 1 is TODAY". Of course it prompted some curiosity amongst my friends and I got a little shy and thought perhaps I, Ms. Mouth Almighty, should keep this one on the down-low. Why? Well, because, it feels downright silly, this new goal of mine. And to reveal all would mean it's time for true confessions and bare-bones honesty, the kind of naked honesty where one reveals one's insecurities and risks having those securities confirmed, or worse, ridiculed. It also means becoming accountable to others.   So, what's the big deal, you may ask?

Ok, well first, a confession.   I am a huge (no pun intended) Biggest Loser junkie, and an even bigger Jillian Michaels groupie. I LOVE that show, because I love fitness and healthy lifestyle, I like watching people when that light bulb comes on in their heads during that moment when they realize that healthy lifestyles are empowering. I'm in awe of these contestants. I believe they are so very brave to stand up in front of the world and be scrutinized while they embark on life saving journeys. I'm envious too, that they get to participate in that show, get the privilege of being yelled at by Jillian Michaels, get to live on a ranch where every day is a journey to higher levels of fitness and health. And they can win big bucks! Many times I have complained to my hubby why can't they have a "smallest loser" program where someone like me can compete and get to that NEXT level of fitness. Of course, that wouldn't sell as much Jennie-O ground turkey, now, would it?

Then, the other night, I was thumbing through my latest issue of Muscle and Fitness Hers magazine and what do I see? A CONTEST FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME!!   It is called the Transformation Challenge and it is an 8 week intense program to lose fat and build lean muscle and the prize is a chance to train with Nicole Wilkins Lee and Kim Oddo photo shoot in California. Oh, I am so there! Of course, many women will no doubt compete in this challenge, and they will likely be both more photogenic and younger than I, but you know what? I don't care! I am in, with bells (dumb bells that is) on. Sorry- that was bad, I know.   My hubby is going to take my before photos tonight and I am entering. The workouts are actually very doable, in fact, the beginning four weeks are easier than the ones I had been doing with my mentor and trainer, Akanke Birmingham before my injury. I will need to be very strict on my clean eating and food intake, and very disciplined with the weight training AND very careful with the healing shoulder/arm. But, what have I got to lose? At the end of 8 weeks, I will be in great shape, and able to wear my bikini for the summer - at the very least. At the most, I could be flying to California to work with a famous trainer and be in a friggin magazine! It's not entirely impossible.

Some may call me vain. Some may call me delusional. Still others may say things I have heard before - "You're not 20 anymore", or, "You don't want to look like one of THOSE women". My answers to those who would say all these things are as follows:

Yes, I am vain (aren't we all, just a little? )
No, I am NOT delusional - just ask the women who compete in figure competitions in my age group and older!
I know how old I am, thank you very much.
Well, maybe I do, just a little! And so what?!

So, there, my secret is out. Wish me luck!

-K

Running for your life

2010-04-02T14:42:00.001-04:00

It is a glorious spring day in New England, really the first such day so far. Today and this weekend promise to be near 80's and sunny. The sky is an incredible cornflower blue and the breeze is light. My chickens are happily foraging around the yard, decorating my little country bungalow property like lawn ornaments here and there. A couple are lounging in the lily beds, soaking up the sun and dusting themselves in the dirt. A few are digging in the garden for worms and bugs, while others are hanging around the deck hoping to be given kitchen scraps. The daily trek to the mailbox made me want to linger, checking for buds on my rose bushes and picking up stray Christmas light bulbs that had fallen off and been buried in the snow. All the windows of the house are open and I am just waiting for lunchtime!

This weather gets me dreaming of running outside instead of inside on the treadmill. I need to do a cardio workout today. Usually I do the elliptical machine at the gym. I love the elliptical; running is really not my thing. There I said it. All my life I have have admired people who run. In high school, friends of mine convinced me I'd be great at track, and so I joined up. I guess I didn't learn my lesson from the times I accompanied Dad on his runs. It seemed like a great idea, both an opportunity to get some time one on one with my father, and a chance to impress him. No matter how I tried, it just gave me a stomach ache. Running just made me sick! As a child, I prided myself on my speed - nobody in the neighborhood could outrun me. Sprinting anyway. I was small and fast. When I tried out for track as a teenager, the coach pegged me as a miler. Practices were brutal. We ran 5 plus miles at a time. This was ok, because I could just lag behind with the slower of the pack. We ran all over the town, and I particularly recall a girl who suffered massive shin splints. I wondered what on Earth motivated her to run in that kind of pain, and keep coming back for more? But, the coach thought I would be good at this, and I just was dying to impress someone . My Dad was very supportive. I will never forget that first track meet. I wore my school track uniform. My dad took a cool picture of me and my friends lined up on the track, arms thrown over each others' shoulders, big, happy grins on our faces. Then came the event. The first couple of laps, I was in the lead, and people were screaming my name. This was a heady experience, they were cheering for ME! I visualized finishing in first place, my Dad snapping pictures, everyone suddenly recognizing me among the crowd, a standout leader in the mile. Unfortunately, I had yet to learn about pacing myself. Let's just say I did finish the race, in last place. Back in those days, I quickly abandoned things when they became too difficult. Although looking back, I am sure nobody thought badly of me,at the time I felt humiliated and worse, I felt I let myself down and so I never went back. I told myself and others I was too busy trying to keep up my academics, which seemed like a respectable reason to quit. The truth was I was afraid to fail. Twenty years later, my youngest son joined the track team at the same high school, and unlike his mother, he persevered and did very well. He was a distance runner and I knew just how much it took to excel at that. For that, I admired him and felt oddly vindicated by his success. I also realized, coaches watch you and over time, if a certain event is not the one for you, they encourage you to try something else. If I had been more patient, less self-critical, in time, I may have found a niche. If I weren't so quick to quit when it got difficult, I may have found success in a more suitable kind of race. Live and learn.

It's never too late to learn a lesson. Since then I have occasionally succeeded in running 3 miles on the treadmill and my mile, although it remains around 8 minutes at best, is better than in high school. I've learned something about motivation. And I no longer have anything to prove except to myself and my own goals. When I run, it's for the sheer joy of being able to. I run for my health. I run so I can keep up at other sports. I run in memory of my grandmother who lost a leg to diabetes, and later died of lung cancer. I run in honor of dear friends who don't have the same health as me, and who would run if only their bodies would allow it. I remember my father telling me how, on his 40th birthday, he got up and ran a mile, just to prove to himself that he could do it. I know what he meant, now. I'm 48 years old, and although it is not too late, I don't expect to compete in any running events anytime soon. But, it's nice to know that if I wanted to, I probably could. And, maybe, just maybe I wouldn't come in last place.

Happy Easter everyone!

-K aka Gunz

Broken Gunz

2010-04-01T09:55:00.001-04:00

Oh, how did it come to this? Just returned from my twice a week PT appointment. I've been living with a very sore arm and shoulder since December. My advice to anyone trying to work out with a sore shoulder/arm or any other body part for that matter: Don't do it! Although it flies in the face of that famous Nike phrase I love so much, trust me - don't heroically push through the pain, listen to your body.

It all began in November when I spent a couple of exciting weeks visiting my sister, her husband and my lovely nieces in Switzerland. During that time I carried my 14-month-old niece around in one arm, while we went shopping. I toted her on my shoulders - hey I lift weights - and subsequently experienced some soreness which of course, I ignored. Truth is, I used some baby-carrying muscles that had been lying dormant for some 20-odd years. First mistake. Then, I received a Wii for Christmas! There followed many bowling matches, trying in vain to crush my husband, and it did not stop there. Despite my increasingly sore arm I moved on to tennis, and then, golf. Of course, that was followed by my Golds Gym Cardio Boxing because goodness knows, I had to stay fit, above all! And, it's easy to obsess over getting in that perfect punch.

One day, I literally could not complete a push-up, the arm just wouldn't go. And it protested in excruciating pain. Hmm. This was around the time of the Winter Olympic games, and I thought, "Well, a REAL athlete just applies some ice and pushes through the pain." Hubby very helpfully told me I am not an athlete of that caliber...and that just got my dander up enough to push on ahead anyway. I'd show him!

I'm sure the reader (if I am lucky enough to have at least one) has figured out by now, that was just plain stupid of me. Now, I spent 5 years as a massage therapist, and I know better. Why did it take me months to get some help? I guess it's because I didn't want to believe that my body could actually stop working for me. Especially since I work out and lift weights on a regular basis. I finally broke down and went to the doctor. An X-ray revealed a little bit of arthritis, which I am told, is not unusual for someone my age. Oh how I hate to hear any phrase that includes "someone your age!" The physical therapist diagnosed shoulder and biceps tendonitis. Twice a week, she guides me through simple exercises, applies massage, and something really cool called iontopheresis. Iontopheresis is a device that uses a small electric charge to deliver a medicine through the skin. Basically an injection without the needle. Her advice regarding my workout was, "don't do anything that hurts". After the first week of therapy, what felt so good was the absence of pain - I hadn't realized how constant it was.

So, guess what I did? I felt so good, I thought a few bicep curls wouldn't hurt. (Well, a few sets actually - hey I am an athlete!) That was Friday. By Sunday night I couldn't sleep due to the pain. I applied heat for the first time and thankfully that helped. I felt very sheepish on Monday morning when I had to break the news to Amanda, the PT, who modified her advice to "Don't do any upper body for a week." Of course, you know that means I will double the lower body stuff and probably next need therapy for that! LOL.

Meanwhile, my mouse hand was really starting to cause pain as well. If only it meant I had to lay off work a week! Alas,that is not an option. My husband made himself useful (for once) and located a wrist rest in the supply drawer. That has made all the difference in the world! I almost forgive him for the "not an athlete" comment.

I'm learning from this experience. First, that I am really not Super Woman, as I was so deluded into thinking. Secondly, a true athlete pays attention to the signals the body is sending and it is not weakness to take care of the body. Finally, it really is true what my friend Akanke told me: It's the sum of all the little things you do that makes the difference.

To all my athlete friends out there: Take care of yourself!

-K aka Gunz

Introducing FitGunz blog - mid life mama in search of the balanced, fit life!

2010-03-31T12:58:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time, I went to the doctor for heart palpitations and a stomach ache that would not go away. My regular doctor was out and in walked a physician's assistant named Cindy. In horror, I realized Cindy was someone I graduated from high school with, and never did like. She was one of those smug types who somehow pulled off brainy AND popular. In further horror, I listened to Cindy recommend that I "LOSE SOME WEIGHT!" Not only had I never once been advised to lose weight, having been one of those people who had to work hard to gain weight, but I was also being told this by someone I hated in high school, some 20 years prior. Someone who never had nor who ever would, have to lose weight.

It didn't take me long to ditch the doctors office and lace up some running shoes. Running was easy when I pictured all the stressors in my life - kids, coworkers, cranky spouse, ugly boss - and of course Cindy -standing in my front yard as I ran away down the street, putting blocks and blocks and soon, miles between us. They could all just eat my dust. Soon I graduated to tennis shoes, punishing the tennis ball with as much gusto as I wished to punish all of the Cindys in my life.

In a few months, I dropped 20 lbs and the heart palpitations and gastrointestinal distress all disappeared. I learned the direct connection between healthy mind, body and exercise.

Fast forward 10 years. Exercise and reasonable diet had sustained me through drastic life changes- divorce, empty nest, pursuing my own delayed education, subsequent career rebirth. I was hungry for more. I felt good, but wondered just how far a 46 year old woman could take it? As it happened, the universe delivered a top-notch woman into my life - a fitness trainer who has become my personal guru, and friend. She taught me the benefit of weight training and clean eating. My body reached levels of fitness as never before, and I felt fantastic. This level of fitness freed me - to enjoy skiing, hiking, biking, an improved golf game, and the exciting ability to say yes to new physical activities. I mean, how many other women's 20-something sons invite them wall climbing?

There have been setbacks - debilitating family losses, the indignities of getting older, especially as a woman living with the changes of peri-menopause and beyond that, menopause. That really requires another whole blog in itself! There have been challenges - juggling busy career and personal interests with time for the gym, for example. Struggles to manage personal demands on my time and the need for balance. Then there are the naysayers. If I had a nickel for everytime someone in my life said things like "Be careful, you don't want to look like one of *those* women!", when I extoll the virtues and pleasures of weight lifting. Really? And why not? Or - and I love this one - "You're not twenty anymore so don't expect your abs to look like *that*!" hmm, apparently you have not seen the 50 year old competitor in my latest issue of Hers Muscle and Fitness!

Now, I want to share my experiences with others so I am starting a blog. It may be a sometimes daily journal of my fitness journey - maybe just some observations and hopefully a place where I can just let myself think freely, and speak the truth about fitness for a woman on the verge of age 50.

Nobody special, nothing extreme, just little old me.

I call this blog FitGunz because my trainer, Akanke nicknamed me Gunz a couple of years ago and I just thought it was funny because anyone who knows me would not EVER expect that would be a nickname referring to ME. I added the word fit so nobody confused my blog with some gun nut, which I am definitely NOT. LOL.

Oh and before I forget - thank you, Cindy!

- K , aka "Gunz"