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Below are the comma rules I use with my 8th grade English class. It is a flash video, so you might have to update Flash on your computer.

If you can master comma usage, you are probably most of the way to writing grammatically correct sentences because misuse (including omitting and overuse) of commas is the most common mistake in writing. The video includes a comma test that will help you assess how well you understand comma usage. 

Have fun!

Download Fitz's Top Ten Comma Rules Review

    These are the words that I spoke yesterday at Jay's memorial service. It was a beautiful service with two auditoriums filled beyond capacity with Jay's family and friends.  I was honored to be a part of an afternoon spent remembering one of the best guys to ever walk this earth.

     Sometimes words pale beside the greatness of a person—especially someone as great, as kind, and as memorable as the man we know as Jay, Sergei, Serg, or Mr. Samoylenko. The strands of his magnanimous life reach into the hearts of all of us—so much so that I fear my own words can only speak to a limited view of the man you know and love so dearly. I grieve as a friend and colleague, and as hollow as I feel, I can only imagine the crushing sense of loss to Seija and Lisa who mourn a father and husband—for it is Lisa and Seija who empowered and graced the actions and gestures of Jay's life; and to Amalia and Constantine, who lost a son as real and faithful as any the world has seen; and his stepparents Steve and Karen who embraced Jay into the renewed lives of their families; and to Marina who lost a dear brother, a confidant, and sometimes, I’m sure, a savior; and to his nephews Chris and Allie, and niece, Molly, who remember an uncle would always be there to help and guide them through the steady joys and inexplicable vagaries of life, and to Aunt Irene and cousin Alex and the rest of Jay’s extended family who complete the circle of relatives gathered today to remember and celebrate Jay’s life.

     The rest of us are Jay’s friends—a loyal and motley crew of students, teachers, carpenters, tutors, farmhands, academics and anti-academics, bikers, business men and women, store clerks, woodworkers, lumberman, mathematicians, townies and assorted other high and low life characters who were enriched, enlivened, embraced, and accepted for who and what we are (and often were) through the deeply egalitarian nature of Jay’s abiding acceptance of the world, the people, and the community closest to him.  

     I know that many of us feel robbed by time and fate because we reaped a greater share of Jay’s help and guidance than we have had the time to repay in kind; for though Jay was truly a self made man, he never tried to make his life his own; he made our lives a part of his life, and it is there where all of us—family and friends—share the expansiveness of his love and devotion to always being there when we needed him; and in the simple act of receiving his gift of time, talents, and presence we share a common bond during a hard and uncommon time. 

     However the news of Jay’s death came to each of you, I’m sure it came hard, unexpected—and beyond comprehension. Out of habit, I tried to put words around what had happened, but for several days everything seemed beyond putting words on a page; instead, I relied upon and leaned upon the shoulders of friends.  These words are a mix of starts and stops that I can only hope somehow captures a slice of the fullness of Jay.  So many of you know Jay in different, but equally compelling ways. But, I am sure that Jay—the man who spent at least three struggling and laborious hours on each individual advisor letter or recommendation—must be smiling at my own struggles to find and contain the myriad elliptical orbits of his many pursuits and passions and friendships.

     Everyday, I have tried to squeeze out some words to give any kind of solace, meaning, or context to what happened to Jay. I answered the million questions from my own kids about the kind and gentle man who won't be by for dinner like he has some many times before—and Pipo (who worships the ground Jay walks on) struggling to add one more thought and make one more connection, exclaims, “Man, now I will never be able to get math!”  Sometimes I just sit and can’t think, but I also smile when I remember all the times Jay and I plotted and planned our next twenty years together in the woodshop: half English/half shop—half math/half shop; you show up for practice today/I’ll show up tomorrow—and always figuring out ways to find enough jobs on the side to make enough money to get our kids through school, make tractor payments and house payments and truck payments and unexpected everything payments—and still get to be school teachers in this school we both love, with these students we both love, and with the faculty we “mostly” love—but we’d never, ever, let the system fool us; though it probably did fool Jay without even trying, for though Jay was easily the most brilliant person I knew, he was also a gentle and loving saint who accepted the good and bad, and hardship and heaven, with equal magnanimity. It seemed all the same to him to repair the barn roof on a freezing and windy wintry day then drive 200 miles to be with a sick friend in Vermont as it was to get on his beloved bike and make a quick loop around Concord and back to the farm.

    In this way, Jay always did what needed to be done, but he also had his “to do lists”—and to prove it he had a daily planner so filled it looked like the rough draft of Thoreau’s journal. I have to laugh at the sheer audacity of his approach to the number of hours in a given day: Jay did not simply find the time to do things; he seemed to create time out of some primordial substance—some rare element that only he could find and work his magic alchemy: On any given day he would wake early and do whatever chores needed to be done on a farm full of horses; he’d come to school and teach math and shop classes; sneak home at lunch to help Lisa unload some 8000 tons of hay; come back to school and drive his beloved and raucous JV tennis team or cross country team to a faraway school that Star somehow felt didn’t need an airline to reach; he’d then come back to school and make it over to the Lynn’s or the Crowley’s or the Reed’s, or Billings, or Grants, or Antonitis’s or all of them and half of CCHS to tutor in math—and life; then maybe come by our house for a plate of spaghetti and a couple of stories; and then make it to Concord Academy to pick up Seija who would be staying late to study at her school, and finally back home to Lisa and the warmth of the family and farmhouse he loved so dearly.  

    As diligent as he was about the details of his obligations to, and the respect he had for, community and tradition, he also had his own eccentric slant on things—a slant that illumined an insightful and iconoclastic thoughtfulness about everything life could put in a person’s way. Jay would start so many conversations by resting his chin in his palm, begin nodding slowly and say, “What I can’t figure out is….” But then he would slowly work out a meticulous solution to a particular problem of life with the same ease that he would lead kids through the elegant mathematical formulas scribbled on his whiteboard—and somehow he fooled you into thinking that it was you who figured out the problem, and he just happened to be there; for Jay was a teacher who taught kids, not classes; he was a friend who came to you, not the party, but above all, he was a husband and father whose every motion of the day was meant to help Lisa and Seija, not himself.

    And Seija—I don’t need to tell you about the awesomeness of your dad; I can only say to you and show you what I have heard and seen from him. Every day I would make my way over to the shop to teach my fourth grade shop class, and I would plop myself down on the couch in your dad’s office and plead with the crowds of over-eager boys lugging planks of pine and poplar, tape measures and dangerously sharp hand saws to your dad’s office door, and I would plead, “Can’t you just give me my Mr. Samoylenko time?”  Because there has always been something soothing and calming about simply hanging out with your dad. Usually I’d start by telling him my latest joke, and he’d always laugh—just because it was a joke, not because he got it, for as I’m sure you’d agree, with his utter lack of guile or deceit, your dad could never tell a joke for the life of him.

    And as I sat there, he would rearrange your picture on his desk and weave you into the narrative of his day:

    And I have never heard a father tell so many stories about a daughter, or worry about every detail of a daughter’s life, or to put so much faith in a daughter’s ability to amaze, for he not only loved you and adored you, but he admired everything about you—and it was so much more than stubborn fatherly pride; it was an awe of everything you are and everything you have accomplished—and everything you will be. Your dad may be a guiding polestar, but you are his universe—and that will never ever change. 

    And Lisa—Jay will always be the husband and friend that only you knew in his completeness, and as with all other reports of husbands to their wives I should probably measure my heaping of his praises with other healthy doses of reality, but I know, even more than his love and commitment to you, was his faith in you to get through all the challenges of raising and keeping a family, keeping a farm, and keeping it all together, most especially in this most trying of years. I remember coming in the shop one morning right after your leg was broken in a riding accident, and Jay was shaking his head: “Oh, goodness gracious, [this being the coarsest language Jay would ever use] there is no way Lisa is going to stay in the house and rest her leg the way she should.” Later, after going home to check on you, he came back into the shop shaking his head again and laughing in his understated way: “Lisa was in the barn teaching a lesson.” He said it with such a natural and affectionate pride in your spunk and determination not to be sidelined when there was work to be done or challenges to be met.  Working together you built an amazing and beautiful farm, and in the same way you, cultivated, nurtured, and sustained  an amazing and beautiful family.

      During the past week and a half, I have had so many friends say, “Though I didn’t know Jay well, he was just so comfortable to be with and talk to and be around.” And, even if you feel like you did not know him well, he knew you. It doesn't matter if he only taught you in one class or coached you in one sport, or stood with you around the horse ring, or built that horse ring with you, or guided you through quadratic equations, Jay knew you—he knew the deep and intricate subtleties of what made you be you. He also had a gift for remembrance and a love for telling stories about life and friends (often some very funny stories about his friends) and so it is an even larger myth that we shouldn't laugh and tell our own stories today—for, more than anybody, Jay would not want somberness to rule over this time together—though neither would he ever want to be the center of attention and have stories told about him that he couldn’t deny, refute or challenge with his laconic and self-deprecating wit, but it is hard for me—and I am sure for you—not to remember this really fun, interesting, and engaging guy who somehow managed to make every day with him a better day for us.

    With every story told there are a hundred unspoken. I wish we had the time to tell them all. We will live better and more perfect lives if we remember Jay not simply as an amazing man, but as a parable to guide the actions of our own lives; for out of the tears, the hurt, the anger, the confusion, and utter sense of loss, Jay will always rise as a beacon and inspiration as a good person and good friend who lived a good life for good reasons. Sometimes the world takes one to teach many, and that is too true right now, so I know I will always be a better person because of Jay. How can I not? How can we not? 

    Jay was a seed planted in our lives, and it is up to us now to bear the fruit of Jay's life into eternity.

    Thank you for listening; thank you Lisa and Seija, and thank you Jay.

~Fitz

7/31/2011

    Don't let anyone tell you what makes a poem. Like a good meal, you know when you taste it. If I were talking to a farmer friend of mine and he said, "Ya know Fitz, so much depends upon a red wheelbarrow glazed with rainwater beside the white chickens," I might simply respond, "Yep, good thing you have a red wheelbarrow!" But, if I saw these same words framed in a poetic structure, I would be astonished at the power of the words:

so much depends 
upon

a red wheel
barrow

glazed with rain
water

beside the white
chickens.

    I read this poem by William Carlos Williams, and I don't think of it as a tribute to wheelbarrows as much as it makes me wonder about the importance of importance and the dependence and interdependence of our lives, and so my mind drifts into the world of poetry that somehow transcends and reinvigorates common thought. I now wonder why three simple images--none of which are all that interesting--prefaced by the simple statement, somehow become transformed into something powerful when written as a poem. 

    Sometimes a poem transforms a simple story into a powerful emotional and intellectual experience. The poem "Stopping by the Woods on a Snowy Evening," by Robert Frost, is one such poem. The story of the poem is not interesting in the slightest: A guy is driving his horse drawn wagon or sleigh through the woods on a snowy night, and he stops for a bit but then realizes he has promises to keep--and many miles left on his journey, and so he needs to get going again; however, Frost tells this story as a highly structured poem, and it becomes vivid, evocative, and haunting enough to become one of the most admired poems in the English language--and certainly one of my favorite poems:

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

    I don't need anyone to analyze or tell me why I love this poem: I simply do! All I really know is that the older I get, the more this poem speaks to me, and so I keep returning to this poem as if it is an actual physical place that I need and want to revisit time and time again. I don't think about the poem; I just let it make me think....

    For all the poems I love, there are hundreds that I have read and discarded because they did not speak to me in a powerful way, or move me, or make me want to return to their words. This does not mean they are bad poems. It probably means I was not ready for them, or I was lazy when I read them because reading poetry is an exercise, not an amusement. By being attentive when you read a poem, you become a better reader, a deeper thinker, and a better writer. You should read poetry like you are flying a plane for the first time, or climbing a precarious tree on a windy day; if you lose your concentration, you lose--you lose the poem!

    For this week's writing prompt, share a poem with us that you like and think is a really good poem. If you can't think of any poems, ask your parents or grandparents what their favorite poems are and see if those poems "speak" to you, too. Copy the poem (or poems if you wish) into your blog and write a paragraph or two about who wrote the poem, how you found the poem, and why you like the poem. If you want to go one step further, share with us a poem that you wrote. 

    And have a great week!

~fitz

    Everyday since Monday night, I have been trying to squeeze some words that give any kind of solace, meaning, or context to Jay's (Mr. Samoylenko's) disappearance and drowning. I answer the million questions from my own kids about the fun and gentle man who won't be by for dinner any more like he has some many times before. I call friends and we talk in endless circles and we all feel better for a while. Down here at the cape I sit and stare at the surf until I feel Denise's hand in mine and we walk back to be with the kids. Sometimes I just start crying, and sometimes I smile when I think of all the times he and I plotted and planned our next twenty years together in the woodshop, making enough money on the side to support our families, and never, ever, letting the system fool us--though it probably did so without even trying, for though Jay was easily the most brilliant person I knew, he was also a a gentle and loving saint who accepted hardship and heaven with equal magnanimity. He was a teacher who taught kids, not classes; he was a friend who came to you, not the party, and he was a husband and father whose every motion of the day was meant to help Lisa and Seija, not himself.

     I don't just miss Jay; I grieve for him in an almost inconsolable way.  If I have learned anything from life, it is the myth of being strong when your heart is heavy and sad.  Even if you feel like you did not know know him well, he knew you. It doesn't matter if he only taught you in one class or coached you in one sport, or talked with you once around the butcher block in our kitchen, or sat with you through a long and semi-absurd professional day. Jay had a gift for remembrance and a love for telling stories about life and stories about you (often some very funny stories about you), and so It is an even larger myth that we shouldn't laugh and tell stories about Jay-- as if somberness should rule over the joy of remembering a really fun and vivid guy. 

     From out of the tears, the hurt, the anger, the confusion and utter sense of senseless loss, Jay will always rise as a beacon and inspiration as a good person and good friend who lived a good life for good reasons. I am crying now and maybe you are, too, but I know I will always be a better person because of Jay. How can I not? He was a seed planted in our lives, and it is up to us now to bear the fruit of Jay's shortened life into eternity.

Here is this weeks writing prompt. It is our first "poetry" prompt. All of my students at school will vouch that the quickest way to a good grade from me is to write lots of poetry in their blogs. I can't say that is true, but what I can say is true is "Great writers don't always make for good poets; but good poets always make for great writers!" So try out this prompt. It's pretty easy, and (I think) pretty fun.

The prompts are not required, but they are helpful if you want to develop your skills as a writer. What I would love to see, though, is more commenting on each other's blogs. It's not as much fun if your work really hard on a writing piece and Ben or I are the only ones to leave a comment. So take a few minutes and read what your blogmates are writing, and leave a comment that is nice and supportive of his or her efforts as a writer.

Writing Haiku

    Imagine if at every meal you were blindfolded before you started eating.  Without being able to "see" what you are about to eat might make you more hesitant (to say the least) whenever reach for your first mouthful of food. As humans we are sensory creatures, and we like using our senses. Being able to see, touch, taste, feel, and hear gives us a multi-dimensional way to experience and understand the world around us. A good writer uses techniques that helps his or her readers heighten those senses when reading their writing pieces. Helping your readers to "see" in their own minds what you are creating in your mind is an essential tool of the writer.  Once your readers can see what you are writing, then you can add your thoughts to help further tell and expand the story. 

    Using images and actions to create a vivid and visual experience for your reader is a powerful method for engaging and keeping your audience interested in what you are writing--and that has to be the primary goal of all writers. The most effective images and actions are created using specific nouns and verbs (and very rarely adjectives--unless they are needed and specific). I like teaching haiku as a way to practice this basic skill of writing because haiku not only use images and actions, they also add in a thoughtful element into each poem.

     The term haiku is derived from the word "Hai" which means "insightful,"  and the term "Ku," which means "fun." (Or something very close to that.) Haiku are poems of 20 syllables or less constructed in three lines using an images, actions, and a cutting element (usually a punctuation mark that sets up the twist)  that separates the  haiku into two sections.  This might not be the definition you know, but it is the one we will use for the haiky we create this year.  It is not a bad idea to stay close to the traditional 5-7-5 syllable scheme, but it is certainly not the end all be all of "effective haiku."   Only a pedant is going to sit there and count syllables on you.  A good haiku has neither too little or too much, and it just feels like a haiku when you read it or hear it. It makes you want to say, "Ahhhhh ku..."

     Here are my three Haiku Techniques that are time honored traditional ways to approach the writing of haiku--and it will help you with any other kind of writing, too!

Technique # 1: Image and action + cool twist: See the description below

In her nest of grass
The robin sleeps all day;
It must be Sunday.
     ~fitz

Technique # 2: Image on Image + Cool Twist or Thought: Juxtapose images + actions that helps us see those images in a new and interesting way:

    This is  where you use "prepositions" to place two images in relation to each other, and then you add an action that adds some kind of cool twist--as in my poem above, or this final haiku that might also go with the scene from chapter ten.
               

Outside the bombed cottage
the old soldier smiles
and flips the pancakes.
     -fitz

    Technique #3: Big to small, and small to big: This is not only a haily technique, but it is an effective way to approach any kind of writing. It goes along with one of my favorite sayings: "Give me a stone and I'll show you the universe.  Show me the universe and I'll give you a stone." The point is that whenever you are writing about a large and/or broad subject, it is important to break it down or narrow it down to something your reader can relate to an a more specific level; likewise, if your topic or subject already feels narrow, then it is important to relate your subjuct to something larger and more universal.

All that's left
of the long winter--
a mitten in the daffodils
~fitz

Here is a way to practice technique #1:

    First create a series of images and actions and make the first two lines of a "potential" haiku.

    •    Nature, and especially the seasons, is the best raw material for haiku.  Go outside and watch nature.  (Yes, move away from your computer and grab a notebook and a pencil!) Find a place where you can just sit and observe what is happening around you. Whenever you "see" something happening, write down that image and action using only nouns and verbs--and occasionally a necessary adjective, and rarely an adverb! The most common sights often make for the best haiku.

For example:   

• In her nest of grass
  The robin sleeps all day

• A single earthworm 
  Inches across the wet pavement

• Three painted monarchs
  Dance around a single flower

• Lightening flashes
  And distant rumbling

Next, take those images and actions and create a haiku by adding a short thought, question, or statement. In traditional haiku this is called the "cutting."  The cutting adds a "twist" into the poem and lets your reader experience the image and action in a new (and often profound--and sometimes funny) way.  A good way to set off this cutting is by adding a semi-colon, double dash or colon at the end of the first section. I generally use a semi-colon in place of a comma and conjunction (so, yet, and, or, nor, for, but).  I use a colon to introduce a statement or a list.  I use the double dash when I want to add a cool thought or sudden insight to complete the haiku.  Try to keep this line between four and seven syllables.

In her nest of grass
The robin sleeps all day;
It must be Sunday.
~fitz

A single earthworm 
Inches across the wet pavement:
Stop the speeding car?
~fitz

Three painted monarchs
Dance around a single flower--
Sweet waiting nectar!
~fitz

Lightening flashes
And vague distant rumbling:
Somebody's getting wet.
~fitz

    These may not be the greatest haiku in the world, but I hope you get the basic idea of what I want you to try to do.  The important part of this exercise is to practice creating images and actions using nouns and verbs and essential adjectives. By adding the cutting I want you to see that even the most common of experiences can have profound and unique meaning.

Here is a way to practice technique #2:

First you need to create juxtaposed images--especially if the images are "out of place"--that are usually connected with a prepositional phrase. 

For example:

• The rubber ball
  in the new snow

• A dark puddle
  on the dry street

• On a withered branch
  the black crow

Now add an action of some sort  to the beginning or the end that helps add a new dimension and twist to the images and so create a haiku:

The rubber ball
in the new snow
will soon be lost
~fitz

When will the kids find
the dark puddle
on this dry street?
~fitz

On his long grey branch
the black crow
waits all day.
~fitz

Here is a way to practice technique #3:

The technique of expanding or narrowing is effective in all types of writing. To use this technique to create haiku you simply need to start with either a big or a small image.

For example:

• The last oak leaf [small]

• The moon in the night sky [big]

Now expand upon or narrow down the image:

Yesterday's winds:
strong enough to carry away
the last oak leaf.
~fitz

The moon in the night sky
walks with me
down this wet road.
~fitz

 NOTE: Haiku never have a title, but you should note the author's name just below the haiku. Haiku work especially well when paired with a black and white photo.

    If some alien linguists came to earth to study how we communicate with each other, they would probably return to Alien World University and tell their scholarly alien brethren how we create and assign words to our thoughts, and then we share these words either by sound (by talking with each other) or by changing those sounds into a strange and silent written language (written words) that tries to recreate the way we humans talk with each other. Further study would show that we group our thoughts (and hence words) into blocks that we call sentences and paragraphs. Sometimes we group a series of related paragraphs together into an essay, or a speech, or a story. In short, they might say that we communicate using a trinity of expression: a sentence is a thought fully expressed; a paragraph is a thought fully explained; while an essay (or any longer writing piece) is a thought fully explored.

    The perceptive alien would notice that we humans have no difficulty speaking in sentences and paragraphs, but we sometimes have a heck of a time trying to do the same when putting our words into writing because most of us humans do not really know (or even have to care) what is and what is not a paragraph. But we should care, because a well-spoken or well-written paragraph adds detail, clarity, and beauty to even the most common thought. It is important to remember that a paragraph is always born in a single thought, and that paragraph ends with the original thought more fully developed and explained. In a way, a paragraph is like caterpillar that transforms into a butterfly. The original thought ends the same, yet different.

    How long it takes for that caterpillar to become a butterfly is up to the writer. There is no minimum length for a paragraph.  The maximum length is just before the writer drifts or shifts away from the original thought. Generally speaking, the more deep and complex the original thought, the longer a paragraph needs to be; however, if a writer is simply presenting the facts of a story (as in the news) the paragraphs are often remarkably brief--oftentimes just one or two sentences. Check out CNN or The BBC News and see how long their paragraphs are in today's news stories.  Now check out the longer lengths of the paragraphs in a recent New Yorker article about the basketball player Yao Ming. In short, a paragraph simply needs to do what you (as a writer) need it to do.

    All of this might fly in the face of those of you who have been told that a paragraph needs to be five sentences long, or have three supporting facts, or a topic sentence at the start, or it needs a quote. Really all a paragraph must do is explain, elucidate, expound, and/or explicate an idea, thought, experience, or fact.  Once that is done, after ten words or ten hundred words, it is time to end the paragraph and move on to the next one.

    One of the ironies of my life as a writer is that I have always felt that writing is an organic process that tries to recreate the voice that speaks within us; but, here I am as a writing teacher creating all these "rubrics" and "formulas" to help my students write more effectively. My hope is that the rubrics will help them any aspiring writer find and develop that inner voice that is completely and uniquely his or her own. 

     This formula for narrative paragraphs is based on the way we would naturally talk about something: we introduce what we want to talk about; we narrow it down to something specific and more focused; we offer proof that we have had the experience, feeling, or thought, and then we add some commentary or further explanation. Anything less than this, and we run the risk of sounding disjointed, confusing, and random. There are no laws for writers, nor are there really any rules aside from what teachers or employers impose, but there is an audience out there, and if confuse them, you lose them. At the very least, if you try this formula, you will write a focused and logically structured paragraph; moreover, with a little bit more effort, you can write paragraphs that ring with beauty, clarity, and resonance!

    So, here is my formula for writing a good narrative paragraph. In narrative writing we write about our own lives and thoughts and feelings, and so we write in the first person (except where noted).

Week Four Writing Prompt: Upload the narrative paragraph rubric. Download Fitz’s Narrative Paragraph Rubric  Using this paragraph rubric, write a paragraph about an experience you have had that has taught you a life lesson--a lesson that you feel will be valuable for other people to hear. When you are finished, post your paragraph on your blog, and we will all comment on your work.

Have fun! 

FITZ'S NARRATIVE PARAGRAPH FORMULA

1. BROAD THEME: Write a short declarative statement that touches on a broad theme [the theme is simply the main thought you are writing about] that all of us can relate to in some way or other.  This acts as a "hook" that will attract your reader's attention. Despite what you might wish, no one really cares about you when they read; a reader cares primarily about himself or herself. This broad theme is a theme that almost any person can relate to on some level, and hopefully it is intriguing enough to make your reader want to read on.

    For example, if you want to write about the importance of family, here is an example of a broad theme:

It is only our immediate family that gives us unconditional love.

NOTE: Because you are trying to show the universal nature of your theme, do not use the I voice in your broad theme. I did not write: It is only my family that gives me unconditional love. Omitting the I will help your reader feel that your paragraph is for them as much as for you!

2. NARROW THEME: Narrow down your theme by writing a sentence that captures how your chosen theme is used in a specific way in an experience you have had, a feeling you have felt, or a thought you want to explore. Make sure this sentence is "clear, concise and memorable" because it is what you want your readers to remember "as" they read your paragraph. Don't make it a long sentence--unless you are writing to very sophisticated readers! This is the sentence that "steers" your reader in the direction you want your paragraph to go, and in that sense, it is what your paragraph is going to be about. Many writers call this the "topic sentence."

NOTE: The broad theme and the narrow theme can be combined into one sentence by connecting the two sentences with a semi-colon or a conjunction (so, yet, and, or, nor, for, but) or you can simply leave it as two sentences.

It is our family that we turn to when there is no place left to go.

3. ONE/TWO PUNCH: Follow your topic sentence with one or two more sentences that add detail or explanation to your broad theme and narrow theme. These sentences can (and maybe should) be longer sentences.

When we are alone in the world; when nothing is going our way, we know that the door of family will always open for us and welcome us back into the arms of those people who love us without reservations.

NOTE: For dramatic effect I used two clauses starting with the word "when." Using repeating words, phrases, and clauses in your writing is called parallelism or anaphora. For whatever reason, used wisely, it helps to add more power and passion to your writing.

4. SMOKING GUN:  Since you are writing about a personal experience, chose a specific personal experience you have had that explicates, illustrates, and amplifies the theme of your paragraph. This experience is proof that you have been there and done that. It is like text support in a book review, or indisputable facts in an expository essay.

At no other time in my life was this more obvious than when I returned to my family home in Concord after a three-year's journey to the Himalayas to discover the essential truth about life. Broke, disheveled, and disenchanted, I stood on the doorstep and tentatively rapped on the door. No smile was wider than my moms; no arms were wider than my dads as they pulled me into their arms and into the living room I left so long ago.

5. HEAD & HEART: Show your reader your thoughts! Write as many more sentences as you "need" (but at least three more) to illustrate and elaborate upon whatever you introduced in your topic sentence.

It didn't matter that I left home without even telling them where I was going. It didn't matter that I had once criticized their lives as dull and meaningless, and it didn't matter that I never called and never wrote.  It only mattered that I was home again.

NOTE: Here I used parallelism again, but this time I used the same repeating structure "It didn't matter..." three times.  Writing in groups of three is called a tri-colon. It is another technique of writing that seems to work well because it captures our attention, it sounds good, and it creates a natural rhythm to our writing. (See, I just used it again:)

6. GET OUT or GO ON! This sentence either wants to close out your thoughts or, if you are writing a longer piece, transition to a potential new paragraph.

For me, it only matters that I will never turn my back on my family again because when times are tough, family is all that really matters.

    Here is the complete paragraph.  At 220 words, this is what I (and probably most English teachers) would call a "full" paragraph.  

    It is only our immediate family that gives us unconditional love. It is our family that we turn to when there is no place left to go. When we are alone in the world; when nothing is going our way, we know that the door of family will always open for us and welcome us back into the arms of those people who are love us without reservations. At no other time in my life was this more obvious than when I returned to my family home in Concord after a three-year's journey to the Himalayas to discover the essential truth about life. Broke, disheveled, and disenchanted, I stood on the doorstep and tentatively rapped on the door. No smile was wider than my moms; no arms were wider than my dads as they pulled me into their arms and into the living room I left so long ago. It didn't matter that I left home without even telling them where I was going. It didn't matter that I had once criticized their lives as dull and meaningless, and it didn't matter that I never called and never wrote.  It only mattered that I was home again. For me, it only matters that I will never turn my back on my family again because family is all that really matters.

    This paragraph might not win me a Pulitzer prize, but it does what it sets out to do, and that is the primary aim of all writing.   As with everything you write, always go back and re-read what you have written. Find three areas or sentences that you can make better. Often you can find a better topic sentence somewhere else in the paragraph. You can almost always find a more clear and effective way to write a sentence than you wrote on your first try. If you have too many short sentences, try combining sentences using conjunctions (so, yet, and, or, nor, for, but) or semi colons; likewise, if you have sentences that feel too long and confusing, try shortening the sentence into two or three sentences.

    The more you use this formula, the better you will get at writing paragraphs.  Keep at it.  Your efforts will be worth the time and effort you put into it!

We all have people in our lives that are really important to us.  A "Memoir" is a story we tell about that person.  This week, try and write a memoir about a person in your life who is important to you. This person can be a friend, a grandparent or parent, brother or sister, or aunt or uncle--anybody whom you know well and who helps you feel special and loved, or who has helped you through a hard time in life, or who is inspired and inspiring.

There are many ways to write memoirs. Here is a simple and straightforward way to write a prose memoir. Here it is in rubric form. Click on it to upload:  Download MEMOIR RUBRIC

1st Paragraph: Set the scene. Start with a scene where you and your memoir person are doing something together. Describe everything about that scene.  End the first paragraph by telling the one thing you like most about that person.  That becomes the "theme" of your memoir.

2nd Paragraph: Say what you mean. Write about why this person is important to you. Tell us your thoughts and feelings, and describe the specific "actions" this person does for and with you that makes him or her so special. Try and write at least five sentences--more if you can write more!!! 

• There is no reason why you can't add more paragraphs in here as there must be several reasons why this person is important to you--and each reason should have its own paragraph.

3rd (or last) Paragraph: Finish it clean. Start your last paragraph by telling us why everyone should have a person like your memoir person in his or her life. End the paragraph with one short sentence that"captures" why your person is so great--and use an exclamation point at the end. For example: "Uncle Tony is the coolest guy in the whole world!"

You can do other things like add pictures or video to help add another dimension to your writing piece.

One of the hardest things to do as a writing teacher is to get my students to write focused paragraphs. To help them (and me) I have created a series of rubrics to help create and organize all sorts of writing genres. One of my most popular and useful rubrics is my book review rubric. 

For this weeks writing prompt, use my rubric to write a book review about any book that you have recently read. The rubric can be uploaded by clicking here: Download Fitz’s Book Review Rubric  It is a Microsoft Word document.  After you have uploaded it to your computer, save it with a different file name. If you use a mac and need a Pages or pdf version of the rubric, please let me know, and I will send you one.

When you are finished writing your review in the Microsoft Word document, upload a picture of the cover into a new blog entry by using the insert image icon in the toolbar on the dashboard (the place where you write entries). Set the image to 300 pixels wide by clicking on Custom when you upload your picture. If you cant figure this part out, dont worry about it. Cut and paste each section of the rubric as separate paragraphs.

I know this seems like a lot of work for a book review, but believe me, it works, and once you get the hang of it, you wont need to use the rubric! I can guarantee if you use this rubric, you will receive awesome grades from your teachers whenever you write a book review. [With a little bit of tweaking, you can also use the rubric for movie and game reviews, too!]

Keep writing your regular journal entries and be sure to post comments. I know a lot of kids are off at different summer camps, but if you are around, keep writing. Nothing makes me happier than to look in the blogs and see a new entry.

If you feel like you need some more help, I am around on Thursdays. We could meet then.  Just send me an e-mail if you would like a private tutoring session.

I hope your summer is going well so far. My summer is great. I am doing a lot of writing, reading, and recuperating from my knee surgeries. 

All the best,

~Fitz

Here is an example of a good book review, written by none other than our own master blogger, Adam Jolly:

     The Odyssey is an epic story of full adventure, love, hope, suffering, and pain. Written by the famous Greek poet Homer, this 500 page poem is naturally a "classic." Although written in the times of Ancient Greece, the version being reviewed was copyrighted in 1990 when Robert Fagles did a new translation of the story.

     The story is actually in epic poem form. The author in this case, is telling a story about great, cunning Odysseus. Odysseus is a relatively old war hero who became stranded on an island after his war-ship crashed on the way home. The book starts out when Odysseus is leaving the islandof Calypso. He had been trapped for around twenty years, until Goddess Athena stands up for him. This part was a little confusing because it doesn't say how he got to the island until the middle of the book. Then he gets stranded at sea, again. He goes through all of these hardships until he finally gets found by some young ladies. They bring him back to the kingdom, and he tells them the story of all that has happened. Here he talks to the King about giant beasts, water-monsters, and Cyclops. Meanwhile, Telemachus, Odysseus' son has set off on a journey to find his dad and get rid of all the suitors from his home. Odysseus' one goal is to make it home, and Telemachus' goal is to find his dad. This is a very strong sense of fatherly love. Does Odysseus ever come home? Will the suitors ever be drove off from Odysseus' old castle?

     This book has made a different person. It has taught me to stay strong when things are hard and to persevere through even the toughest times. It also taught me how important family is. Most of us take our family for granted. For example: how many of us say, "I love you mom!" when she drops you off at Fenn each morning? I have learned to not take my family for granted when I read this book. One thing I noticed when reading this, is that you get something different out of it for each age you are. For me, I was relating myself to young Telemachus. While older people might compare themselves to Odysseus.

     No matter how old you are, you will love The Odyssey. It is a story that has endured many years for one main reason: It is a great story.

 Adam Jolly

3/7/2011

~Rating: ***** 5/5

    It's good to be a woodshop teacher as well as an English teacher. The palpable smells and sounds of sawdust and hand-saws mixes with the intense focus and energy of a pack of ten year olds trying desperately to cut along their laboriously measured and scribed lines.  After class one day, I asked them what they accomplished. They all said they worked on their toolboxes. I asked them to be more specific about what exactly they did, and they told me, "We cut wood." I asked them one more question: "Did you cut the board all the way across?" They looked at in curious disbelief: Yes—they did cut the board all the way across. Who wouldn’t?

    The English teacher in me thought that this is how we need to approach our writing. We don't have to make a tremendous project everyday, but we should, at the very least, cut a metaphorical board all the way across; we should get from the start to the finish of our thoughts, and we should follow our thinking long enough to create a complete thought—a board cut all the way through—a line finished. Whenever, wherever, and whatever you write, don't stop until you've finished cutting along the line. Make everything you write, no matter how brief, have a beginning, a middle, and an end. If you are writing a song, finish a verse; if you are writing a story, finish a scene; if you are writing in your journal, finish what you are describing or thinking. Always leave your page with some semblance of success, be it a large or small success because something in me is convinced that getting from the beginning to the end is the life-blood of a writer and a thinker. It is up to us to make the time and make it a practice to cut the board all the way across and finish what we start.

    So tell the whole story: mark your line; make your cut, and leave only the sawdust behind.

       Sometimes I hate it when cliche's ring true to my own life, but it is tough to argue with the notion that our attitude towards something shapes and alters that very "thing" that we are dealing with, trying to do, or trying to nurture in our own lives. Every shift in the season rings in the opportunity to live differently, to do and try new approaches to old problems, to subtly change our attitudes and actions, or even to make a huge paradigm shift in the way we live. But if we do not seize the moment, we often lose the opportunity--and when we lose opportunity, we lose the chance of bettering ourselves. We can convince ourselves that we can try again tomorrow, but making pacts with the future is not a way to live out today. I need to wake up every day and remind myself that I teach writing because I am a writer who believes in the mystery and majesty of words and who believes that it is my duty to pass on what I know about writing to those who are interested in learning. 

        At the summer camp where we spend our summers there is a huge rope swing attached to an old maple tree that hangs like a great fishing pole from the shore of a cool and dark New Hampshire pond. Every afternoon at camp there is a shivering line of campers and counselors waiting their turn to climb the rickety wooden platform that leads to the swing. After the rope is handed to you, and after you find the courage to leap, you soon find that there is no turning back--the rope is not going to swing you back safely to the platform; and so you need to let go--in a sense, you simply "put yourself out there." It is at the moment of letting go that the show begins: for first timers it is usually a feet dragging, face-planting dose of humility, but it is also an epiphany because it is never as hard as you supposed it would be. You survived and were now part of a club of "doers" who tried and did something new, and it is a rare person that does not get right back in line intent on redeeming the day with an even better and more impressive leap. I always think to myself that writers, too, need not only to make the leap, but to get back in line for more.

        Every summer for the past eight years I have run several small writing communities for both kids and adults. The communities are built around each person having their own blog within a larger community of writers and writing what they want to write over the course of the summer. My job is that of provider, nurturer, cajoler, and provoker. I try to create a safe and supportive place for people to write at whatever level they are at, but I also try to roil them out of their comfort zones and to help each person engage writing at a higher and more engaging and attentive level. It works if we all work; it works when I care and my students care, but it falls apart as soon as one of us does not hold up our end of the bargain: if I am lazy and begin to rely on cookie cutter assignments, my students will inevitably sense an opening to produce cookie cutter responses; if I expect or accept minimal efforts I get what I deserve, and my students don't get what they deserve; likewise, if a student puts in a minimal effort, they should expect minimal growth as a writer.

        It is easy for me to say, "Write what you want to write," but it is certainly hard for new writers to do that because they don't really know what they want to write about or sometimes even how to start writing about something. If I assign writing prompts, they only work for a small percentage of people because the prompt may not even remotely spark his or her interests. So we have to meet somewhere in between. My students need to be willing to climb the tower of the metaphorical rope swing and make the leap, and I need to be there to help make them leap again, or to try a new spin move, flip, or dive, knowing that every new swing develops more confidence, more strength, and more skill; moreover, I need to continually recognize that each new writer is a unique person with a unique perspective on the world and, most importantly, a unique reason for being in the writing community.

        The beauty of our humanity is our commonality. We are inextricably bound by our common interests and uncommon empathy--what interests us invariably interests others, and what we "feel" is likewise felt by others. This should not humble us; it should energize us to share in words what we feel in our heart, and know in our heads, and wonder about in our curiosity because "words" are the currency with which we buy and sell and share our thoughts and feelings; otherwise, no one will really know who you are, where you stand, or what you believe. If you want to leave a gift to the world, let it be your words, for words will always outlast the ravages of time. The time to start creating those words is now.  There is nothing stopping you. You are as wise now as you have ever been: your life is full of experiences that have shaped who you are and taught you right from wrong and good from bad; you have tasted fruits both bitter and beautiful, and you have an opportunity before you to seize or shun. The choice is yours. The interesting (and revealing) part is that no matter what you do, you will have made a choice.

        For my students who are reading this, I want you to make the choice to begin this summer by living like a writer, and a writer is simply a person who has made the choice to make writing a part of their everyday lives and who is willing to learn the craft of writing by practicing the tips and tricks and techniques of good writers--for the writer is no different than the woodworker in his shop or the athlete on the playing field: each of them does what they know they need to do to be a better woodworker or a better athlete. I will not tell you what project to build or what sport to play, but I will teach you things that will help you build anything you want to build or to be a better athlete at any sport you choose. I have listened and learned from many teachers and writers who came before me--and I continue to do so! Now it is your job to listen, to learn, and to write. 

        But remember, it is what you make of it, and it always begins with writing. 

        So start writing. 

~Fitz

The parting is the hardest part of fate—

The slow untangling knot still left unwound;

We pause as if the hour is too late

To divvy fair the treasure we have found.

Our words like fingers pointing at the moon;

Whose light reveals the shadows that you teach;

And this goodbye that seems to come too soon

The pulsing tide returns you to our reach.

With each soul you shaped the morphable clay

And lay to rest the fickle thorns of time;

You gave us all an ordinary day

Below some harsh summit we could not climb—

I’ve never asked, but I’ve wondered how and why

You somehow managed to teach frogs to fly.

(For Lorraine Ward on her retirement:
a good friend, mentor, and amazing boss) 

Somehow I managed to get six kids to clean the house tonight simply by asking them. No complaints: They broke ranks and somehow figured out what needed to be done:  EJ is washing the dishes; Pipo is sweeping the floors and finding all sorts of knick knacks; Tommy is “organizing” the cubbies; Margaret puts on music and sorts the bad mail (bills) from the good mail (Tom and Margaret Curtain 50th wedding anniversary); Charlie seems to find soccer balls everywhere; Emma is chanting, “When in doubt, throw it out.” I am on the couch pointing with my crutches and telling them to disregard the mess on the coffee table (my mess). If I could get this miracle to repeat itself daily, you would see me on reality TV: “Superdad Reveals His Secrets to Subservient Children”.

One by one they break out of their routine and sprawl on the couches and on the arms of oversized leather chairs and laugh at some Disney Channel inanity. Tommy sits next to me with a plastic turtle he made for me (found in the recesses of his cubby) and asks when is Father’s Day?

I give him a hug and tell him: “Today....”

Many of my daily entries over the course of the summer are essays and reflections that I share with my summer blogging students.  These entries are part of a compilation about writing that I am editing and revising for a future book length workbook for my work in the classroom. I apologize if you find yourself reading something that you may have seen in my blog before in some way shape or fashion. I included this reflection today because I had dinner with a friend last night who told me that she uses this formula with her third grade students to help introduce essay writing.

Snap you fingers in 4/4 time and repeat: "Set the scene and state the theme. Say what you mean, and finish it clean!"

• Your teacher or your boss (and perhaps your parents and friends) will read what you write because they either have to or they love you enough to care about what you write.
  
• A reader who is already interested in your topic will more than likely slog through anything that discusses what they are already in reading about. For example, I will read anything that has to do with building wooden boats or sailing across lonely oceans.
  
• People will read anything written by writers who have proven that he or she writes great stuff and who never seem to let you down (or let you put their writing down). Wendell Berry falls into this category for me! Dr. Seuss is another writer who developed an extremely loyal fan base. I’m sure you have some writers that do this for you!
  
• Finally, (and this is the best one) sometimes you start reading something and you just can’t put it down. Through practice, imitation, and experimentation, the best writers develop of way of writing that is interesting and rewarding to read--even when they break every rule of writing.

Imagine you are cooking dinner and your stove catches on fire. No problem, because you bought a new fire extinguisher the other day, and it's hanging on the wall right next to the stove. You grab the extinguisher and quickly read the instruction label. It reads: “My fascination with fire extinguishers began when I was a young child--early in 1963 as I recall...”  I doubt you will think to yourself, “Wow, this will be really interesting to read!”  You might rather that the instructions read: “Point extinguisher at the fire, pull the metal pin, and squeeze the black handle.” Knowing your audience and the reason you are writing goes a long way towards defining the style, tone, and content of your writing.

    These were the same kids who diligently armored their bodies every afternoon with helmets and pads on the hottest of September afternoons to push a five hundred pound sled around the football field, while coach LoPresti snarled at them with the sympathy of a South Boston townie—and this they did for two hours everyday--every mistake; every slip of the foot; every wheeze from tired lungs laid out for all to see.  They did it because they love the game, and they knew that it was just what you had to do to be a football player.  But they didn’t know—even after eight years of schooling—many of them in an elite prep school, is what it takes to be a writer.  For these kids, there was no literary equivalent of Tom Brady to inspire their practiced motions; there was no scrimmage at the end of class to showcase their hard fought efforts, and there was no game at the end of the week to make every bruised bone worth the effort. In short, there was no real joy in writing. Writing was just something done in class for a teacher and to the teacher. There was no game, only an endgame—that single grade at the end of each term.

    None of us can write well unless we scrimmage in our backyards. If my kids have a pickup soccer game going in the backyard, I won’t rush out back and set up cones for them to practice their dribbling skills.  I am simply happy they are out there playing the game they love to play. More than just practicing soccer, they are figuring out on their own how to be a better player. They know the rules; they’ve had plenty of town and school practices, but there is never enough time to play with the joy and abandon of a backyard pickup game. The key to becoming a great writer is to find “joy” in writing—any kind of writing, and to play whenever the opportunity presents itself.

    The basic rules of any type of writing and the basic rules of any sport are pretty simple—or  at least they should be. The best place to start writing—and find joy in writing—is to write what you like to read.  If you love reading the sports section of The Boston Globe, write about sports.  If you find yourself reading Gothic romance novels, try your hand at writing a short story in that genre. If you are moved by poetry, write poetry.  Imitate who and what you love and who and what inspires you, and you will come to love writing; and, when you begin to love writing, you will willingly find the time to practice the skills you need to become a better writer.

    For this weeks writing prompt I want you to do a few things. First, write an entry about what you really like to read. Be specific by naming writers and what type of writing they do. Secondly, try writing a piece in the genre of writing that you know you love.  Don’t worry if it is good or bad writing.  I’m a horrible basketball player, but I will still play whenever I get the chance for as long as my creaky knees will hold up.  Finally, spend an hour or so “practicing” the punctuation skills that are common to all writing. This is like the strength ad aerobic training that is useful for any sport! Start by making your way through the links on the “Punctuation” sidebar on your blog.  Begin with comma usage—everything seems to flow out of good comma usage! If you are feeling inspired, read parts of “Elements of Style,” which is also on the sidebar of your blog. Remember that these prompts are just the minimum I expect of you,  More is always better, especially if you are enjoying what you write.  I know that I enjoy everything you post and comment on the blogs!

    The key is to be like those students of mine out on the football field and spend the time to both practice and play. The game is what you write.  The crowd is the cheering of the writing community you are in. I know that many of you are off at camps and on vacations, but if you are near a computer, log in, have fun, and be a player.

     Becoming better at something is not rocket science; it is, as Thomas Edison said, "...90% perspiration and 10% inspiration. In other words, reaching a new level in any skill or endeavor requires old-fashioned work. In writing, this means that you need to learn some of the basic skills of punctuation so that the depth and power of your words are delivered to your readers as effectively as possible. Luckily, most people are able to read through errors in punctuation without becoming completely confused. One of the best writers in the English language, Cormac McCarthy, uses punctuation sparingly. However, I am also sure, he knows darn well how to use punctuation if he needed to use punctuation, and I am also sure that your teachers, SAT graders, and potential employers will appreciate that you utilize proper and effective punctuation in your writing.

After many years of writing and teaching writing, I can say with confidence that the ability to use a comma correctly is 90% of the punctuation battle; furthermore, 90% of knowing how and when to use commas is being able to know a clause or a phrase when you you see it (or write it!).

Take the time to study my comma rules and common comma errors, and view the attached  powerpoint on clauses and comma usage: It is also on my blog:  Simply go to my Punctuation links. There is a link that will take you to a page with numerous punctuation powerpoints. View: "Clauses: Essential Building Blocks" and the "English House of Commas." This should prepare you for learning more about comma usage (and misusage). 

Here is the "Conquering the Comma" powerpoint, which will work for you if you have Powerpoint or Keynote (for mac) on your computer. Download Conqering the Comma Powerpoint

Whenever you use (or don't use) a comma, you should soon know which rule you are using.  And when you know the rules, you will write with more confidence and clarity, and, like Cormac McCarthy, if you know the  rules, you can break them!

Have fun.  After you feel like you know what you are doing, try some of the online quizzes at the bottom of this page to find out if you have conquered the comma--or not!

I will send this weeks writing prompt, "Writing a Memoir," to you later today (to give you time to practice commas:)

Thanks for all of the great writing posted on your blogs. Stay inspired, keep writing, and keep commenting.

Fitz

The Top Ten Comma Rules: