Five Rules For Life

Featured Five Rules

2012-02-22T13:15:00.001-06:00

The Featured "Five Rules" is selected by the editor, possibly with input from random strangers. The criteria is simple - I [we] liked it.

The featured contributor is Brian Johnson:

brian johnson is a marketing consultant and professional speaker; he has presented to crowds that number in the thousands, but he is most proud of being a husband and father of two beautiful daughters.

Here are Brian's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Challenge yourself.
Set goals that make you s-t-r-e-t-c-h. It is a cop-out to make things too easy - always take it to the next level and don't be afraid to fail. I would rather fail trying to do something that made me expand my abilities and work harder than I ever thought I could rather than succeed at doing something I knew I could accomplish with my eyes closed.

2.) Make yourself a brand.
Sit down and decide what you want to be, and what you want people to associate with you. Map it out and then work hard to make it a reality. When people think of me they think of three things: someone that helps organizations with their image and messaging; a captivating and entertaining speaker; a loving husband and father. That is my brand. Who are you?

3.) Realize that happiness isn't something you "obtain".
The sooner you realize that happiness is not something you obtain like a piece of furniture or a job, the more likely you are to achieve it. Most people think they will be happy if they get a promotion, make a sale, start a relationship with someone, or buy a certain kind of car. But happiness is created, not acquired. Have you ever wondered why - as a general rule - people with less are happier than people with more?

4.) Live responsibly.
This has many meanings to me - but basically it means don't ignore injustices, treat others with respect, do what is right for the world and environment, and quit thinking it is "someone else's" job.

5.) Get a dog.
A dog loves you unconditionally. A dog thinks you are the greatest, coolest, smartest, most successful person in the world. Get a dog and work hard to live up to its expectations.

Brian currently resides in New York City.

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Check back soon for a new Featured "Five Rules".

And check out the new compilation post - "Five Rules For Life" - editor's choice.

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Submitted by Charles Malet

2012-02-22T13:11:00.005-06:00

charles malet is a sales manager for an auto dealership, and a father of a teenage daughter (which, he says, is more much more demanding than his job). in his spare time he coaches youth soccer and takes his wife antique shopping.

Here are Charles' "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Use kind, encouraging words.
You will be amazed at the difference you make in someone’s day (and life) when you say something as simple as “good job”, “I appreciate your efforts”, “I support you”. Encouraging words foster goodwill, and goodwill will come back around to benefit you.

2.) Learn to say “I’m sorry”.
Most people hate admitting they are wrong, which feeds the “me vs. you” attitude that divides us. We all make mistakes, and when we do we should be quick to acknowledge them and say “I’m sorry”. We are all in this together – compassion will help us grow as a society (Rule 2A – similarly, when someone offers you a sincere apology for something they have done wrong, forgive them).

3.) Learn to say “thank you”.
I am amazed at how many people don’t acknowledge the efforts of others. Be it a waiter, the cashier at the grocery store, or the person in the drive-thru window, be quick to tell them thank you for their help. I once had someone tell me “I’m paying them, it’s their job.” This kind of self-absorbed attitude makes the world a little colder and people a little more distant; resist the urge to be stingy with gratitude.

4.) Take a step in the right direction.
You don’t have to conquer the world or achieve your goals in one fell swoop. Instead, you just need to take a step in the right direction. If you want to lose weight and look better, put on your shorts (or sweats) and go for a jog. Or take the stairs. Or go to the gym – even if it’s just for 30 minutes. Take a step in the right direction, and you will be one step ahead of the person who will start tomorrow.

5.) Choose happiness.
Happiness doesn’t come when you buy something. It comes when you realize you have the capacity for happiness inside of you, right now. It’s a decision, a choice. And it is totally up to you.

Charles currently resides in Phoenix, Arizona.

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Submitted by Xin Gu

2012-02-10T07:18:00.005-06:00

xin gu is a performance coach who helps her clients achieve success. she teaches how to become a high performer, remove mental blocks and align closely with your ambitions. to learn more about optimizing your inner achiever, visit her website and subscribe to her e-newsletter.

note from Xin - "When distilling life rules, I have to generalize. This means these rules are applicable for most situations; please read them in that frame."

Here are Xin Gu's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Seek self-knowledge.
If you know who and what you are, you will know where and how to go about your life. This is the most effective way to get to what you want. To gain self-knowledge starts with being discerning: listen to your own thoughts, be cognizant of your actions, and really feel your feelings. Whatever comes up, don’t react, just accept.

2.) Don’t react, just accept and motivate.
Negative experiences in life tend to stall us. The trick is to move on from them as fast and as effective as possible. Moving on does NOT mean to reject the bad experience, living in denial, or wallowing in it. Instead, when you encounter a negative experience, simply pause, acknowledge something bad has happened, and then find a peaceful and motivating way to move on.

3.) Be authentically successful.
If you can align what it means to be successful with your authenticity, then achieving one will allow you to achieve the other simultaneously. To be authentically successful means bringing fruition, realization and materialization to your dreams. This is a worthy goal, as this is what YOU are about.

4.) Try everything twice.
We are often too quick to judge. When we don’t like something, the impulse is to reject it. Yet, that often carries the price tag of limiting our horizon unnecessarily. One rule that works well is to try everything twice. When you don’t like something at first brush, withhold judgment, and try it again. You’ll have a much better formed opinion that reflects what you truly like or don’t like. This will be a clear road sign for you as to where to go and where not to go.

5.) Laugh.
See the humor in things, especially when you feel stressed out. Alleviating intensity allows you to be clear-headed, and therefore able to act from a place of power. One quick way to see humor in things is to simply pretend you are an observer rather than the person going through the situation. As an observer, you’ll have a much easier time to laugh at the situation. After your laugh, trust me, you’ll have renewed energy to tackle the challenge.

When you know who you are, unperturbed by negative experiences, willing to stay open, able to see the humor in things, and always align your work with your authenticity, you are bound to be successful in life.

Xin currently resides in New York City, New York.

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Submitted by Bennett Gavrish

2012-01-24T10:42:00.009-06:00

bennett gavrish is a software developer by day and a novelist by night. he graduated from boston university in 2010 with a journalism degree. he released his debut novel, "train wreck", last year.

...editor's note - I met Bennett on the Internets (hey Redditors), and have read his novel "Train Wreck". It is a unique story and a well-written book - I highly encourage you to check it out. He also has a site where he reviews books here.

Here are Bennett's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Make time to be bored.
I hate wasting time, so I have a tendency to over-manage my daily schedule in an effort to constantly stay productive. It's a great strategy for getting chores and menial tasks done, but it does not foster creativity. As a writer, I've found that my best ideas come to me during a state of boredom. To take advantage of that, I have to force myself to leave empty parts of the day and let my mind wander. Even if you don't consider yourself a creative person, making time to be bored can give your brain a needed rest and help you focus later on.

2.) Don't do things you have to pretend are fun.
Throughout college, I played video games on almost a daily basis. The weird part was that I didn't actually enjoy playing them. But everyone I knew thought video games were fun, so I tried to convince myself they were. This was supposed to be a form of entertainment, yet playing them felt more like a task to me. Finally I stopped lying to myself, admitted video games weren't fun for me, and stopped spending so much time on them. It was a big relief and gave me a chance to explore other hobbies and activities that I actually look forward to. Remember – entertainment is supposed to be fun!

3.) Stop drinking soda and switch to water right now.
I'm no health or diet expert, but recently I lost 100 pounds by making just a few changes to my lifestyle. I know that the most effective change was to completely cut soda and other sugary beverages out of my diet and become a water drinker. I go through almost a gallon a day and feel healthier than I ever have before.

4.) Do only one thing at a time.
The invention of computers and smartphones have convinced us that multitasking is an important skill. Too bad our brains and bodies really aren't cut out to handle it. Whether it's at home or at work, you'll be most productive if you can simplify your tasks and set out to tackle them one at a time.

5.) Put yourself in the other person's shoes before judging.
It's easy to convince yourself that your own opinion is right and everyone else's logic is flawed. Don't be lazy. Take the time to adopt the perspective of other people before making a judgement about them. That guy that just cut you off in traffic during your morning commute? Sure, maybe he's just a dick – or maybe he's rushing to the hospital to see a sick family member. Either way, showing some patience and empathy can reduce stress and make you a more attractive human being.

Bennett currently resides in Boston, Massachusetts.

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Submitted by Thomas Hanes

2012-01-10T08:08:00.004-06:00

thomas hanes is a father of two and a sales manager at a promotional products company. when he isn’t working or chasing the kids, he is trying to battle his internet addiction (but is quick to point out that between facebook, twitter, and reddit, he usually loses the battle).

Here are Thomas' "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Don't act like an ass.
I learned long ago that life is better for everyone if you don’t act like an ass. You don’t even have to be nice and kind – wherever you go, whatever you do, just don’t act like an ass.

2.) You are responsible for your happiness.
Others won't change to please you. Your happiness is your job. If you expect otherwise, you invite a frustrating life.

3.) Look at yourself first.
If you always seem to have drama in your life, you are probably the one causing the drama. In my experience, drama begets drama, rudeness begets rudeness, and ineptitude begets ineptitude.

4.) Change is up to you.
Don’t wait for external events to happen before you make an internal change. If you are waiting, you are just making excuses and you will continue to make them regardless of what happens.

5.) Mind the company you keep.
You are who you hang out with. Look at your closest acquaintances – the people you spend the most time with. Do they reflect the morals, the values, the work ethic that you admire? If the answer is “no”, then you probably don’t either. Surround yourself with people that make you a better person.

Thomas currently resides in Orlando, Florida.

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Submitted by Andy Hayes

2011-10-04T09:13:00.009-05:00

andy hayes is known as ‘that travel guy.’ he’s a small business coach, founder of a network of travel and tourism websites, and a world traveler himself. follow him on twitter, @andrewghayes.

Here are Andy’s “Five Rules For Life”:

1.) Get clear on your why.
There are a lot of things in this world that we use to “define” ourselves. Often it is our career. For others it is where we live or the friends we keep. Maybe for you it is how you dress. And if those things are so important reflections of yourself, why did you make those choices? It doesn’t matter whether you choose to live minimalist or whether you choose to be an entrepreneur or whether you have pink hair. But why?

2.) Breathe.
Do it, right now – take a deep breath, down to the core of your stomach. Now, isn’t that much better? So many of us are in such a rush we forget to breathe. We need oxygen, and we need it deep. Bonus points if you’re smiling while you do it.

3.) Get to know your gut.
Speaking of breathing deep, that thing down there, it’s your gut. Your flinching instinct. It’s usually right – but you knew that. What you probably are having a hard time with is listening to it – what’s it trying to tell you. Spend some time listening. You’ll learn what it is saying, if you listen long enough.

4.) Find someone you trust.
You can’t do it alone. It doesn’t matter what “it” is – live, life, love, relationships…. sometimes you need the external perspective, the proverbial slap in the face. Other times you just need someone to share whatever you’re experiencing. It’s hard to know who to trust. But try to find them – and once you do, nurture your relationship with them. They’re worth more than gold.

5.) Try it.
I’ve given this advice more times than I could ever count, and it is advice I could take myself more often. There are so many cliché quotes about regretting not what we did but what we didn’t do, but the reason there are so many is because we’re all afraid, and we need to push past that to really get somewhere. As Melissa Etheridge says, “Our power ends precisely where our fear begins.”

Andy currently resides in Seattle, Washington.

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Moving to Facebook

2011-10-01T16:27:00.000-05:00

I've been on Twitter for most of 2011, and I appreciate those of you that have added me to the list of people that you follow. Like everyone else, I have been trying to figure out what social media "outlet" is best for me, and after trying different things I have decided that Facebook is how I would like to communicate.

This site is not going away, and all new submissions will still be published here. But Facebook will serve as a forum to republish popular rules, as well as other funny and interesting things that may or may not be "Five Rules" related.

If you have a Facebook account, you have two choices - you can "friend" me (make sure you say you are a "Five Rules For Life" reader), or you can "subscribe" to my public updates.

As of now, I plan to slow down (stop?) "tweeting", so I hope to see you over on Facebook!

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Submitted by Sam Baker

2011-06-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

sam baker is a mom, wife, engineer and an eternal dreamer. her latest project is to share money making ideas with students in the hopes that they will choose to make some money instead of taking on debt (and hopefully avoid some of the mistakes she made).

Here are Sam's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Learn to forgive and forget.
Especially, the ones close to you. Every one of us has our own idea of what is right and wrong, what should be said/done and what should not. It is very easy to feel slighted by little things as we rush through the rigors of every day lives. Learn to let it go. Can you live with being held responsible for every slip up or flaw in your character? Why hold others responsible for theirs, then? Learn to forgive and forget - it will come back in the form of forgiveness for your own shortcomings, which can be very liberating.

2.) Be there for your kids.
Whether it is spending some time making play-doh cookies or having long chats with them as they grow up, make a conscious effort to be there. With the kind of lives we live, obviously, we won't be able to be with them all the time, but when you can make it, give them your 100% (that means, no emails, no tweeting or thinking about your business meetings during the time you spend with them - period.)

3.) Don't just dream, "Do" things.
Vacations, learning a new language, trying out something new - all of us have some things that we wished we could do, if only we had the time, money or whatever. Next time you are wistful about something, take some action in that direction. You may not reach your final goal, but getting started is half the battle. And every time you "do" something identify the next thing that needs to be done to move forward in that direction. It will take some time but, eventually, you can make your dreams come true.

4.) Stand up for what you believe in.
It is not always easy. Sometimes, you will have to choose between which of your values mean more to you because standing up for one will mean compromising on the other. Sometimes, standing up for your values means facing down the people you respect the most. Sometimes, you will cry inside while you have to smile outside. Stand up for them anyway.

5.) Be graceful in the face of life's challenges.
You won't always be able to forgive and forget. You will make some mistakes while raising your kids. You will not be able to make all your dreams come true. You will sometimes buckle down in your stand for your values. That's just life. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Don't gloat or put others down when you win. Don't beat yourself up when you lose. It's a lot easier said than done, but something definitely worth striving for.

Sam currently resides in Austin, Texas.

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Submitted by Noah Lifschey

2011-06-08T14:30:00.004-05:00

noah lifschey is a music composer for television and a songwriter/producer in the record biz in los angeles. he has a love for great books, travel, cats, long dinners with good friends, the wilderness, and old british sports cars.

Here are Noah's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Give your pride and ego a rest.
Sure, we should all take pride in ourselves; but when it becomes a tool to separate ourselves from others and promotes a sense of superiority then we're the ones who end up suffering. Same thing with ego - this is a constant battle for me in the music business, but the times that I'm able to let my ego take a back seat are when things get easier, more productive, and more creative.

2.) Dump the drama.
This is something I picked up from my Dad by proxy. Give someone a break, accept an apology, go easy on the waiter who screwed up, let another driver move into your lane instead of rushing to not let him, actually listen when someone's talking, don't yell at someone just because you're angry, take a break from mad gossiping, try using logic instead of emotion when you're riled up. I truly can't understand why so many people prefer to make their lives difficult by being addicted to arguing, fighting, and theatrics.

3.) Dig yourself.
Yep, this is going into Oprah territory, but it really is the foundation for a content life. I'll go on record as saying that loving yourself is without a doubt more important than any other kind of love. Why? It's the only kind of love that you can truly depend on and that positively affects almost every portion of your life. I'm not talking Hallmark card love or being a pompous arse - I'm talking about simply accepting who you are, forgiving yourself when you mess up, and not comparing yourself to everyone else. It ain't easy for most of us, but damn does it make an immense difference when you can grab it.

4.) Breathe.
Most of us live in the past or the future, which are two places that don't exist. Fact: This moment is all that ever actually exists. When you think about all of the mental pain that goes along with staying mired in what happened or what will happen, it seems positively absurd to be anywhere else (even though it takes a hell of lot of practice to try and stay here). Be still for a second. Breathe. Give your mind a break from the miasma of constant thought and rumination.

5.) Don't spend your life wanting more.
More money, more love, more success, more things, more whatever...you're never satisfied. There's nothing wrong with having some goals and all, but life doesn't deal an even hand and one has to try to be content with what's happening right now. Since the future never actually happens, spending your life wanting what you don't have is a spot-on recipe for unhappiness since you'll always want something else and never actually get there.

Noah currently resides in Los Angeles, California.

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Submitted by Molly McCord

2011-05-23T19:21:00.005-05:00

molly mccord is a communications and inspirations expert who has two books coming out fall 2011: first as a contributing author to "the thought that changed my life forever" and, second, her spiritual memoir "my life as a trapeze artist". her blog - conscious | cool | chic offers - more inspiring articles and tidbits to check out.

Here are Molly's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Trust your gut.
The small voice that says "no" to a job offer or "yes" to speaking to a stranger is a reliable compass for decision-making in uncertain times. The gut delivers fast, immediate and clear messages if I'm willing to trust it. Allow that small voice in the gut to come to the microphone often.

2.) Listen to your heart.
Whispers of personal truth come through feelings. Feelings tell with immediate accuracy what I need in a situation. I’ve squashed these messages of truth down before, French-press coffee style, but the personal needs don’t go away. Listening to the heart’s true feelings allows my needs to be addressed sooner. Don’t ignore these messages.

3.) Respect your mind.
Besides being the home of every life memory, a stack of educational degrees and the list of all-time favorite beers, the mind pinpoints possibilities, actualities and liabilities. Allow the mind’s knowledge base to bring out areas of improvement, strategy and commitment. Use logic and practicality regularly. Respect what the mind says, but don’t let it rule over the other senses all the time.

4.) Follow your spirit.
Your soul’s eternal wisdom is always accessible through a listening connection to Spirit. Quiet moments of solitude and peace bring answers that can’t be found on a billboard or in an email message. Find quiet times to just be without distraction, and the soul’s beautiful wisdom will pour forth.

5.) Alignment of gut, heart, mind and spirit: Goldmine!
Trusting, listening, respecting and following from every area of your being leads to purposeful direction and action. The gut’s compass, the heart’s truth, the mind’s knowledge and the spirit’s wisdom illuminate the path that is for your highest and best good. I like to call this combination the Pure and Utter Brilliant Path for Life Dream-making. And who would want to settle for anything less in this fabulous game of life?

Molly currently resides in Seattle, Washington.

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Submitted by Persha Davis

2011-04-19T15:00:00.004-05:00

persha davis is the author of dumpeddays, a blog offering advice to help you cope when your relationship ends and you've found yourself on the wrong side of romance.

Here are Persha's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Risk Failure.
Life presents many opportunities for us to make decisions and take actions. Sometimes, irrespective of the preparation that you have done, you hesitate. If you hesitate too long, doubts will linger and turn into fears. Yes, you may stumble. Yes, you may be rejected. Yes, you may fail. This is life. Life’s winners accept that in trying, they may have to adjust and even start again and again. The difference between successful people and others is not whether you make mistakes or even temporarily fail, but how you respond.

2.) The best person for you is the one who makes you a better version of you.
We live in a world where more and more people are looking for love, "the one" and a life of "happily ever after". In my life time, I have found that the right person has a magnificent way of making you better. When you look at who you become in someone else's presence, you learn a great deal about your relationship with that person. When you are around him or her, if you become better and happier - then that's the person for you.

3.) You can't always control what happens.
Sometimes life presents circumstances beyond your control. As much as you may want to or like to, you can't always control what happens in your life. However, you can control how you react to what happens. It is always a balance between finding, keeping, and maintaining a healthy approach to life’s obstacles, and not letting them beat you down.

4.) Close the door on the past.
The past is only alive if you keep it alive. You can’t change yesterday but you can build today for tomorrow. Don’t shackle yourself with regrets. Don’t start feeling sorry for yourself. Whatever your previous circumstances, others have gone through the same or worse. Appreciate yourself as a tested survivor. Learn from the past, but don’t assume that your past automatically equals your future.

5.) Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Life continues to throw all sorts of things at us rapid fire. Sometimes more than we think we can handle. But you can handle it. Somehow, some way, you'll make it through and you'll come out on the other end, stronger and wiser.

Persha currently resides in California

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Submitted by Jennine Birrell

2011-04-04T15:43:00.008-05:00

jennine birrell is a canadian and a crafter who runs an online craft community called ladybug markets. she is a person who thrives on creating every day, whether it be a handmade stamp or writing in my journal; it is the fuel that keeps her going!

Here are Jennine's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Define what makes you happy (literally).
If you don't know, then why do you get out of bed and thrive everyday? Give your life substance by defining this for yourself.

2.) Don't underestimate yourself or the power you have to change your life.
Ask yourself if you think your hero doesn't have a bad day, can't pay rent on time, or didn't ask their mom for help. These situations, albeit being hard to get through, truly make us stronger and this is where strength and character are born. Once we ruthlessly acknowledge where we stand right now, we can take the steps forward to change. The first step forward can just be to ask for help!

3.) Stop with the negative thoughts - they are so toxic.
If you tell yourself "I can't", you will start to believe it, and then you won't. If you are unsure, then you can start by saying "I'm going to try". You'll at least get your foot out the door.

4.) If it makes you cry, it's not really worth it.
I used to work as a hairstylist and finally after 9 years I was employed in a job that I thought was top notch. The experience was not nearly what I had imagined it to be, and I would cry in the bathroom almost everyday trying to force myself to like it. Until one day I started visualizing myself being happy again. I quit the job and moved on...to a happier place!

5.) If you love someone, just tell them.
Then give them a hug (this applies to humans and cats)!

Jennine currently resides in Brisbane, Australia.

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Submitted by Laura Simms

2011-03-22T08:06:00.007-05:00

laura simms is the coach at "create as folk", where she works with creatives to accelerate their careers, and helps emerging creatives find their calling. she is also an actor. you can learn more here.

Here are Laura's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Let Bartlet Be Bartlet.
Ah, life lessons from The West Wing. Translated: Do things your own way in your own style. Quit fussing with strategy, and just do it the way it comes to you. No apologies.

2.) Give thanks.
Gratitude is the ultimate antidote to sadness and fear. Say thank you freely and frequently.

3.) Talk to the animals.
An animal can relate to you in ways no human can. Make friends with critters. Talk to them. Learn to listen to them.

4.) Visit your oasis.
Everyone needs a secret hideout, a getaway, a retreat. Whether it's your bed, your garden, or the beach, spend time in the place that recharges you.

5.) Get twitterpated.
You have things that make you buzz from the inside. It might be live music, watching otters, travel, or planning surprises. Find these things and do them often.

Laura currently resides in Los Angeles, California.

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Submitted by Kathleen Cotter

2011-03-14T05:40:00.005-05:00

kathleen cotter is an entrepreneur who owns "the bloomy rind" (visit the blog). she is also a purveyor of outstanding american artisan cheeses, and she actively supports the movement for a local, just and sustainable food system.

Here are Kathleen's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Today, the deep end (or, be brave).
Several years back, there was an OJ commercial. It was narrated by a little girl who was gearing up for a day at the swimming pool. As she finished off her juice and headed out the kitchen door, she declared, "Today, the deep end." When I encounter things that are new, scary, or intimidating, I imagine that little girl putting on her goggles and planning to conquer the deep end of the pool.

2.) Know your farmer.
Our food system is flush with processed, chemical-filled crap - mostly made by big agricultural corporations who often put profits before farmers, consumers and the environment. When you know your farmer, you can know what’s on or in your food. You get the freshest, best tasting goods because they were likely picked that day or the day before. You’re supporting your local or regional economy. And when food doesn’t have to travel across continents to get to you, there’s less pollution created along the way.

3.) Speak kindly to yourself.
I have to admit, I’m still working on this one. But take a few minutes and listen to your inner dialogue. Would you be friends or colleagues with someone who said the same things to you that you say to yourself? If the answer is no or probably not, it’s time to be a little nicer to yourself.

4.) Raise a little hell from time to time.
I am profoundly moved by protests going on here and abroad. When there are injustices, we all need to speak up in whatever we way we feel appropriate...whether it’s protesting or boycotting, letter writing, voting with our dollars, or just calling out the jerk in the bar who’s slinging bigoted comments. Stand up for what’s right. Stand up for yourself.

5.) Ditch the debt.
Becoming debt free (except for my house) is the best thing I’ve ever done. It lightens the load more than I could have imagined. Yes, I drive a ’98 Accord, which isn’t all that cool. But that ride is paid for, y’all. I stay in simple accommodations when I travel, but there’s no credit card hangover when I get home. I could go on, but you get the idea. Debt sucks. Pay that sh*t off!

Kathleen currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee.

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Submitted by Laura Holden

2011-02-21T18:28:00.007-06:00

laura holden is 22 years old and currently studies tourism.

Here are Larua's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Live.
It’s your life, don’t waist it. You don’t want to make up one morning and realize that you never followed your dreams. Life is too short to say "I’ll do it tomorrow" or "I’ve got plenty of time to do that". Be happy now, because you will not get a second chance.

2.) Love.
Don’t be afraid to love. I’d rather be heartbroken than never to have loved.

3.) Feel.
Follow your feelings - only your heart knows what you need. The key to happiness isn’t to always be happy and smiling all the time. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. But if you tend to be sad all the time, try this instead: you’ve got five minutes - and only five minutes - to be sad, angry or whatever other feeling isn’t happy. Cry all you want, but when those five minutes are over, breathe, smile and be happy.

4.) Don’t make decisions when you’re angry.
You can destroy everything you’ve been working for if you act when you’re angry. Breathe, smile and wait - if you do, you’ll realize that you aren`t so angry about what happend...or it may just fix itself.

5.) Be who you want to be.
The people that love you will accept you just the way you are. So, for them, just be yourself.

Laura currently resides in Valdoviño, Galicia, Spain.

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Submitted by Karen Beth Martin

2011-01-26T07:50:00.001-06:00

karen beth has a degree in english and art and runs a community market through her day-job. in her spare time, she is active in animal rescue, runs a successful online vintage boutique and has been busy renovating a 109-year-old bungalow.

karen had emergency open-heart surgery 18 months ago at the age of 32, so she knows how very important it is to listen to your body. follow her on her blog here.

Here are Karen's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Have respect.
Not just for your elders or authority but for everything. Animals, the oceans, plant life, our planet, insects, your neighbors. Everything. We all affect one another each and everyday. You aren't the only one here. To expect respect, you have to give it. Freely and abundantly.

2.) Never lie.
Ever. Not even white lies. If you lie once, you will be tempted to lie again and you will end up weaving a web that you can't find your way out of. More times than not, the truth is a lot easier anyway. It may not seem easier right at the beginning, but it will end up being easier. I know this from experience.

3.) Listen to your body.
It really doesn't lie. If you feel bad, there is a reason. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it is "all in your head". Your body will tell you when it needs to move, when you need sleep, when you need water, when you just need to zone out or when you need to be in nature. If you don't know how to listen to your body, tune in and learn. It is one of the most valuable lessons you can learn and can literally save your life. This goes for your intuition as well.

4.) If you think something positive, say it.
I have what I call "bursts". If I have an overwhelming feeling of love or gratitude for someone at a certain moment, I say it. Right then. I don't wait. When this began, I got some odd looks but now people associate it with me and it is accepted and appreciated. Don't wait. Burst at the seams with positivity and gratitude and love!

5.) Do things you want to do.
We all have responsibilities. We all have to pay the bills. But, when you get home and have time, do what you want to do. Don't let your time be eaten up by mindless TV or video games or computer surfing. Do you love to cook? Cook. Do you love to read? Read. Do you like to walk in nature? Walk in nature. Get out your journal, watch a favorite movie, put on a CD that you love and enjoy, draw, meditate, do yoga. Spend the time you can on things you like to do. I had my TV service cut completely off and have never regretted it. My time now is spent on mindful things that matter to me.

Karen currently resides in Corinth, Mississippi.

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Submitted by Ruth Gendler

2011-01-26T07:33:00.007-06:00

ruth gendler is an artist and the author of three books: Notes on the Need for Beauty, Changing Light, and the long-time bestseller The Book of Qualities. she has taught writing and art since the mid 1980s; she is both a long-time student and teacher of creative process. you can visit her on her personal site, or at red room - "the online home of many of the world's greatest writers."

Here are Ruth's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Ask questions.
And listen for the questions inside the question, listen for multiple answers. Let yourself stay with one question over time. One of my long-time favorite questions is: Who gave you your eyes? Inside that question I have found other questions: Who taught you to see? What do you like to look at? What don’t you see? How can I see with more clarity and compassion? How can I see with less fear? From this question I have remembered art assignments and science teachers, loved ones and friends who have taught me to see. Looking at how to see and how I see I have been able to see more beauty.

2.) Walk.
Walking brings the physical world of light and air, shadow and scent to our imagination, feeds our senses, gives us a felt sense of the distance between where we have been and where we are going. Even if your head is in the clouds, your mind is still in your body. The brain is connected to the spine, the nervous system, the fluid that holds the organs. Nerve cells extend the mind through the meat of us, our flesh. Walking, we sense that intelligence lives in the whole body - the skin, the senses, the ankles, the soles of the feet, the toes. Walk to make sense, to marry the rhythm of thought with the rhythm of feet. Walk to find yourself in the world, to appreciate the everyday beauty in our lives.

3.) Learn how to wait.
And when to wait, and what to wait for. Creativity has a different schedule and a different rhythm than other forms of work. It doesn't like to be rushed but sometimes it is urgent. Investigate the difference between procrastination, avoiding work and gestation, waiting for the work to ripen and oneself to grow into it. Sometimes there is a great difference between gestation and procrastination; other times they borrow each others’ clothes. Sometimes we need to invite the creative into our lives with attention, awareness, personal rituals. At times we are waiting when we need to act. Other times we are busy trying to make things happen when it is time to wait.

4.) Attend to your dreams.
Listening to and writing your dreams, drawing them, dancing them develops respect for our immense imagination and the inner coherence of the psyche. As one seventh grade student wrote "A dream is made when your soul writes." In our dreams we never stop and say "I am not creative. I don’t know how to finish writing that line of dialog or describe the attic room with the old white furniture. I don’t know how to draw a sycamore or paint a bridge." Dreams, like poems, operate on many levels at once; they teach us about fear, courage, and transformation, humor and mystery.

5.) Learn a foreign language.
Studying another language is a much more lively way to understand what English is and what language can do than studying grammar and vocabulary. Playing with the sounds and structures of another language invites us to appreciate the richness and idiosyncrasies of our language. It reveals the way language and thought are intertwined, but are not the same. Likewise listening to everyday idioms and etymologies wake us up to the images that live in our words. Language, like the body, is alive, expressing the soul, the self in breath, phrase, and tone. Language whispers and weeps, walks, dances and sings. Find your language.

Ruth currently resides in Berkeley, California.

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"Five Rules For Life" - editor's choice (third installment)

2011-01-26T07:27:00.000-06:00

Every 60-70 submissions, I do a compilation post based on what I think are some of the most compelling, unique, and thought-provoking rules across all submissions. This is the third installment (see the second installment here and the first installment here).

It is not an easy exercise, as every rule in every submission carries great value. But these stand out for reasons I cannot fully explain.

Enjoy!

No one is responsible for picking up after you.
You are responsible for you. No one will make you a success or a failure. No one will clean up your mess. No one will force you to do the right thing or prevent you from doing the wrong thing. Accept 100% responsibility for yourself right here and right now, and then act like it. Take responsibility for your decisions, be accountable for your actions, take care of the environment and the Earth.

- Tom Carson, read Tom's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Focus on the opportunity not the challenge.
Behind every innovation and solution is a story about someone who said there has to be a better way. I bet Henry Ford was walking behind a horse when he had the idea for his automobile.

- Shamelle Perera, read Shamelle's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Say thank you.
The person who bags your groceries, the spouse who cleans the dishes, the stranger who holds the door - they'll all notice and appreciate it.

- Deena Rafferty, read Deena's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Appreciate the little things.
A bunch of good "little things" strung together are like little lights that glow along the path of your life, brightening even the darkest of moments.

- Kristi Miceli, read Kristi's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Always have a dog.
Dogs love unconditionally. They think you are awesome. Try to be the person your dog thinks you are.

- Allison Furmaniak Delashmit, read Allison's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Don’t worry.
I once heard that worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair - it gives you something to do, but ultimately it gets you nowhere. Instead of worrying, do something about it - and if you can’t, then let it go. This is not giving up, it's accepting that some things are just not up to you.

- Angie Rivera, read Angie's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Accept help.
When people extend an olive branch, grab on to it with both hands and don't let it go. There is too little time to sit and be stubborn, too little time to be so proud that you push away those you love. Even when you feel alone, there is someone wishing they were right by your side. Let them be there.

- Claire Harnett, read Angie's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Be competent (expertise).
Finish everything completely - a task half done is worse than a task not started as it robs you of time.

- John Biasutti, read John's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Be here now.
Goals are essential, but never let the future or the past obliterate the present. It is the only thing you truly have - now. There are no guarantees of the future. The past is over. What you have is today. Make it a habit to revel in the moment at least once or twice every day. Carpe diem!

- Tara Waechter, read Tara's "Five Rules For Life" here.

"Nobody has to live in your skin but you."
This one comes from my Dad, and he tells it to me all the time when I'm wavering on my principles or beliefs. My Dad never tells me what to think, he just reminds me that no matter what decisions I make, I'm the only person who has to deal with the consequences - positive or negative.

- Cora Harrington, read Cora's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Treat people right.
Listen, care, use your manners, and don’t objectify people. Remember:

"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good." - Samuel Johnson

- Anna DiTommaso, read Cora's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Be your own hero.
Much of our pain is caused by our belief that happiness depends on something external to us. The day you realize that you and you alone are responsible for the quality of your life is the day you become free.

- Analiese Marie, read Analiese's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Believe in Karma.
I believe that what you put out to the universe is what you will get back from it. Therefore it is important to live your life in a way that honors this. If you don’t want an action or attitude directed at you, don’t direct it at others.

- Kylie Philips, read Kylie's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Eat the baby octopuses.
It frustrates me when dining companions turn up their noses at foods they have never tried because it "looks gross", "is slimy", or they are a "meat and potatoes person." A huge component of success is trying and learning new things, so when someone is not willing to try a new experience it says a lot about their potential for success.

- Chris Elliott, read Chris's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Live, love, and laugh.
These three L's encompass happiness in our life. Live in a place you enjoy residing in. Love the company you're surrounded by and eliminate the poisonous people in your life. Laugh with your friends and family however you can and whenever you can. You have only one life. You don't have time to put limits on any of these.

- John Anyasor, read John's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Make positive changes.
Simply stated, it is our responsibility to leave this world a better place than when we first arrived.

- Matt Corker, read Matt's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Question everything.
Don't just accept what you are told. What's right for someone else might not be right for you. I don't know at what age we lose that curiosity that we are born with, but we need to find it again. Learn something new every day.

- Nicole Watkins, read Nicole's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Visualize your success daily.
Napoleon Hill said "whatever the mind can conceive and believe, you have the ability to achieve." You must see your success in your mind daily. If you can consistently hold thoughts of success, you will begin to believe that it’s possible for you. Once you believe it’s possible, you will begin to take the actions that will make those thoughts a reality.

- Mr. Self Development, read Mr. Self Development's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Place more importance on what you have done rather than what happened to you.
You have no control over how tall you are nor what kind of looks you were born with. These things just happen to people. Give more importance to what you have attained through choice rather than what happened to you through circumstance. Obtaining an award for demonstrating your skills beats winning an award for being the best dressed girl/guy.

- Kristine Fetalco, read Kristine's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Smile often.
It's the key to a healthy heart.

- Abigail Woolston, read Abigail's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Relax.
Stop. Breathe. Look. Listen. See the birds, hear the water, listen to a dog bark, smell the air. Watch your cat. Close your eyes and picture yourself in a serene location - on a beach, by a stream, on a mountain. No matter how busy your day is, you can find a couple of minutes to do this every few hours.

- MEDITATIONSHIFT, read MEDITATIONSHIFT'S "Five Rules For Life" here.

Turn off the technology for an hour a day - no cell phone, no Facebook, no TV.
I don't want to wake up one morning and wonder what I did with my life. I would hate to have spent all of my waking hours reading about your life and not living my own. So, with that said, get your butt up and go live life!

- Dondrea Brownlow, read Dondrea's "Five Rules For Life" here.

Listen to music.
It doesn't matter what kind of music you listen to - put on your favorite CD and get lost in the world of someone else's thoughts. Music has personally saved my life and been a voice for me when I couldn't find my own. It has been an outlet and a release. Never underestimate the power words and melodies can have on you.

- Andrea Towers, read Andrea's "Five Rules For Life" here.

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Submitted by Dondrea Brownlow

2011-01-26T07:25:00.000-06:00

dondrea brownlow is a 29 year-old accountant who punches a 10-key by day and wields craft scissors by night. you can read her blog - butterscotch opinions, here.

Here are Dondrea's "Five Rules for Life":

1.) Laugh at yourself. Often.
I do something everyday worthy of laughter. Whether it's tripping over my own foot, talking with a Southern twang as I tend to do when I'm overly comfortable, or cursing out the folks in traffic - totally laugh worthy. Now that I think about it, I do things to make other people laugh too. Especially if they're witness to any of the above situations.

2.) Organize your purse or wallet.
Nothing makes a suckier morning than having to fish through your purse for keys in the morning. Or holding up the Starbucks line because you can't locate change or that stinkin' debit card that decided to hide along the bottom of your bag. If you're in line in front of me with that mess, I'm cutting you the evil eye and making it a laugh-worthy event. (See #1. Cue the cursing folks out - in my head, of course.)

3.) Have a guilty pleasure, and INDULGE ... in moderation!
My guilty pleasure is chocolate. My absolute indulgence is chocolate covered strawberries from Godiva. Enough said.

4.) Get a dog, preferably a Shih Tzu.
Brinks is one of my bestest friends. He curls up next to me and lets me rub his stomach even when I'm in a bad mood. He gives me puppy kisses ALL the time. And he even lets me tag along on his evening walks. Oh yeah, he's small and in charge! Seriously, he's one of the best things I've ever done in life. He's made me more responsible and more caring than I was before he came. He's truly brought out the mommy in me.

5.) Turn off the technology for an hour a day - no cell phone, no Facebook, no TV.
I don't want to wake up one morning and wonder what I did with my life. I would hate to have spent all of my waking hours reading about your life and not living my own. So, with that said, get your butt up and go live life!

Dondrea currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia.

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Submitted by Peter G. James Sinclair

2010-12-24T05:51:00.005-06:00

peter g. james sinclair is in the "heart to heart" resuscitation business, and inspires, motivates and equips others through his highly inhalational Motivational Memo Blog.

Here are Peter's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) There are no rules.
Imagine a world with no rules. Think of a life that can be lived with no constraints. Feel what it is like to have all chains broken. Breathe the "ruleless" air. That's why Napoleon Hill declared many years ago, "whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, he can achieve." So there is absolutely nothing stopping you from being who you desire to be and from fulfilling whatever you wish to complete in your lifetime. Why? Because there are no rules.

2.) Create your own rules.
The rule canvas is completely blank awaiting for you to create your own rules. What will they be? Maybe they could be love God, love people and then every act that you make is for the betterment of the world that you live in. You have complete control over the rules that you write. What will they be?

3.) Rule your mind.
It's all in your head. The battle for mind superiority, that is. Henry Ford boldly stated that "if you think you can or if you think you can't - you're right". So the choice is yours. You can either yield to the negative thoughts that bombard your mind, or else you can fill your mind with such positivity that there is no place for a minuscule negative gremlin thought to reside.

4.) Let passion rule.
Life lived without passion is a living death. So don't live one moment without plunging into the depths of your passion. For from those depths will be birthed greatness and uniqueness that will encourage others to pursue their passion.

5.) Be unruly.
To be unruly does not make you a rule-breaker, but rather positions you to be a rule-maker. For it is the unruly ones who have lived in the past that have created our present - the misfits, the outcasts, the contrarians, the "beyond the box" thinkers, the dreamers, the inventors, the non-conformists who have created such a beautiful kaleidoscope that we experience in our world today. Be one and create a glorious future!

Peter currently resides in Australia.

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Submitted by Andrea Towers

2010-11-08T07:47:00.004-06:00

by day, andrea towers is a fundrasier for a religious organization and, by night and on weekends, she moonlights as an indie music promoter and amateur photographer. you can read her daily thoughts and inspirations on her blog, "a cup of chic".

Here are Andrea's "Five Rules For Life":

1.) Love thyself.
We spend our entire lives trying to please everyone who thinks we should be a certain type of person. There is no "right" or "wrong" way to be - no one else in the world is like you, so why try to be someone you're not? The sooner you let go of what other people think, the sooner you can experience the true feeling of freedom and a level of happiness that is beyond description. Friends, family and lovers can offer perspective, but the only one who can truly be happy with yourself is YOU. Once you accept that, you're on your way to truly being happy.

2.) Listen to music.
It doesn't matter what kind of music you listen to - put on your favorite CD and get lost in the world of someone else's thoughts. Music has personally saved my life and been a voice for me when I couldn't find my own. It has been an outlet and a release. Never underestimate the power words and melodies can have on you.

3.) Say "I love you" once a day.
This is a big one for me, and I adhere to it regliously. Say it to family, friends, your pet, your significant other, the sky or whoever you want. Let someone who is important in your life know that you care for them and verbalize it. You never know when three words might make a difference to someone.

4.) Make a bucket list - and work to cross as many things off as possible.
No one says that you have to include such lofty goals as "go skydiving" or "learn chinese." While you should reach as high as you can, the beauty of a bucket list is that it's uniquely personal to you - you can choose to accomplish whatever goals you feel are important, no matter how big or small.

5.) Slow down every so often and appreciate the small things.
We often get caught up in life by thinking of the bigger picture and running ourselves ragged trying to fit as much as we can into one day. But how often do we truly stop and appreciate the little things? The smell of morning coffee, savoring those 10 minutes before sunrise in the quiet on a work day, a clean apartment, thumbing through your favorite book...it's these simple pleasures that bring balance to our busy lives and remind us that we don't always need to be perfect or constantly busy in order to live a full, happy life that we're proud of.

Andrea currently resides New York City.

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New logo, new look

2010-10-01T05:16:00.000-05:00

I wanted to call everyone's attention to the new logo and "look and feel" of the site. If you keep updated through a reader, you might want to click through and check it out.

Special thanks to Toni Leathers for her creative efforts - view her design portfolio online here, and contact her about any project you might be considering - nothing is too small or large!

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Submitted by Abigail Woolston

2010-09-06T06:46:00.009-05:00

abi is a fifteen year old girl who would love to live in new york. she recently started a blog, which is mainly based on styles and fashion. she says her rules apply to anyone who wants to read them, but she has mainly based them on people near her age group (purely because that's what she knows best).

Here are Abi's "Five Rules for Life":

1.) Play the "Glad Game".
I learned this from watching a film called "Polyanna" a few years back. When you have done something you regret or are just having a bad day in general, think of something glad that has come from it. For example, although you may have lost all of your unsaved work from your laptop, be glad that you can even afford a laptop.

2.) Do what you want, not what others think you should do.
This rule does come along with exceptions. For example, this rule does not apply if you are stressed and feel like you might hit the nearest object - or person - for that matter. But if you are filling in a college application and your parents have planned out your life for you, tell them - nicely of course - that it is your life and you will choose what you want to do.

3.) Don't get embarrassed.
This is a rule that I am still battling with. I share a house with two awfully cringe-worthy parents and, although she'll deny it, an equally embarrassing sister. But I love them, and for that, (as cliche as this sounds) I wouldn't have them any other way.

4.) Eat what you want to.
As a self-consious teenage girl, I am fully aware of the impact that glossy magazines and adverts can have on somebody. But, in this world, there's at least one person that loves you. Now think about how much you must mean to them. I'm sure that they wouldn't have you any other way, aren't you? Now go eat that packet of cookies you've been craving all day.

5.) Smile often.
It's the key to a healthy heart.

Abi lives on the outskirts of London.

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Submitted by Salmaaan Shah

2010-07-25T08:48:00.005-05:00

salmaaan shah is a 15-year old high school student. you can find him on the internet here and here, and salmaaan says:

"when i get sad, i stop being sad and be happy instead."

Here are Salmaaan's "Five Rules for Life":

1.) Have a goal in life!
Stop dreaming about now and try to plan the future. Decide what you really want in life. And make sure it is well-defined. Only well-defined goals can be achieved.

2.) Define who you are.
Design the person who you want to be. Build in your characters. Work to bring this person to life within yourself. If you are not the person you want to be than you will have to change yourself.

3.) Do what you must.
Do what you must and not what you want to do. The real conquerer acts on fact or logic and not on will.

4.) Keep your promises.
Always keep your promises. Be a man of your word. And stick to the your promises.

5.) Aim for excellence.
Aim for excellence and you will naturally get success. Excellence is static. Success is relative.

Salmaan currently resides in Bangalore, India.

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Submitted by Amelin J.

2010-05-18T15:00:00.002-05:00

amelin j. is 18 and (at the moment) a law student. she loves writing and says:

"The premise you propose is something that I keep thinking about. Should you have some rules or should you live without them? Anyway, some rules are needed - they can help you to get off society's rules. Rules are worth it if they are your OWN rules."

...editor's note - Amelin says "sorry for my English"...but, her English is great!

Here are Amelin's "Five Rules for Life":

1.) Smile.
It can be surprising how easy it is to change your outlook when you smile, even if you don't feel like doing it.

2.) Be positive.
It goes side by side with the first rule. If you are sure that things are going to happen and you act as if they will, a lot more will actually happen.

3.) Be passionate.
For me it is the most important rule, but I put it in third place because if you can't smile or you can't be positive, being passionate will be hard for you. Being passionate is loving everything you do. It means smiling a lot, dreaming the biggest you can, kissing with passion, crying when you want to, taking chances, saying what you want; in the end, being passionate is living consciously and being fearless. Being passionate is what you want it to be. It is living your own way.

4.) Be aware of your conscious.
Everything you do affects others as well as yourself. Living without a conscious will end up making you miserable. Be aware if you're giving or taking from others.

5.) Live!
Don't hesitate, don't complain about everything, be thankful, do what you want and you won't have regrets. After all, living is about being happy. That may mean crying and other things that we usually don't associate with happiness. These things make us feel alive, so don't worry if you feel miserable today - it's part of being alive and the power you have to get over it is what will make you happy.

And remember: LIVE IT YOUR OWN WAY!

Amelin currently resides in Argentina.

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