fjord

Man Hole!!

2011-06-09T23:45:00.000-07:00

Yep - not really that pornographic, but there was this really nice bit from the wikipedia:

"According to urban legend, a manhole cover was accidentally launched from it's shaft from an underground nuclear test in the 1950's, at a great enough speed to achieve escape velocity. The myth is based on a real incident during the Operation Plumbbob nuclear tests, where
a 900 kg steel plate cap was blasted off the test shaft at an unknown velocity, and appears as a blur on a single frame of film of the test; it was never recovered. A calculation before the event gave a speed of six times Earth escape velocity, but the calculation is unlikely to be accurate and they did not believe that it would leave Earth in reality. After the event, Dr. Robert E. Brownlee described the best estimate of the cover's speed from the photographic evidence as "going like a bat!!"

I can only assume that the urban legend edited the "Outta Hell" bit from the last line.

Also, I'm wondering, even if the calculations (for this urban myth) were off by a factor of 4 -that's pretty bad.

Nay. That's really, really, really bad! For those who are calling themselves nuclear scientists, dealing with energies most of us mortals can't understand - and even they can't really, without some super complex figures and math and stuff to deal with - these energies are beyond human scale. So even if they're wrong by a FACTOR OF FOUR, there's still 2x's the force required to achieve escape velocity for this manhole cover - and leave earth's gravitational pull, and shoot out into the stars.

Regardless if this is an urban myth or not...it kinda' sounds like to my ears, like it could have actually happened.

And as a pragmatic kinda' guy, I'd much rather a spacefaring race of aliens find a circular piece of iron that used to cover a hole, floating through space with "Made in Mexico" written on it...
than the one that has the instructions to find our planet, and how we reproduce, what our music sounds like, and our frikken DNA.

If they find the first one, they'll probably melt it down to make a cell-phone, or laser blaster, or mebee a nice side-table to hold a super-cool looking lamp. If they find the latter-well...we'll probably be working uranium mines until we die a horrible death of radiation poisoning. And I got a feeling, I don't think they'll care. Thanks to nuclear testing, and a super-nice manhole cover, we've got a 50 - 50 chance that that doesn't happen.

More manholes in space please, I'd like to up those odds.

Do you know how to create fire?

2011-05-28T13:39:00.000-07:00

(click to embiggify this awesome photo)

I ask this (the title question), only because, without a lighter or matches or a gas stove or butane torch, it's not exactly something that can be generated without some really extra-ordinary effort. I honestly don't know if I could do it - I've never had to try. Fortunately, we do have these conveniences. I may have mentioned this in the past, and maybe not, but in any case it's worth reiterating. The only thing I know, that you can get for free at a convenience store is a book of matches.

Taken at a certain level, fire is one of the most basic of human technologies. It's so basic in fact, that it might rank in the level of "needs" for survival. At least the kind of survival that I don't want to live without. Taken to its most extreme, harnessing the power of fire has fueled our entire history.

*aside here - I actually posted a ways back - about what would be a good commodity as currency for the apocalypse - and I came up with a case of scotch - which, on it's merits is still a pretty good backup - but dang, once you loose the flame, what would you trade for a book of matches?*

Anyhoo - I wanted to take a tangent from this, into salt. I was forced a while back, by circumstance, to purchase a new supply of salt for the Casa Aloha. It used to be that salt was one of the most precious commodities humans had. It wasn't that is was exactly a commodity like metal was, (hell we got along just fine with stones) it was a basic technology. Who was the genius that thought up the idea to put salt on meat? whoever it was, made the leap from "this is here in front of me now" to, "This will be here five days, or ten days, or twenty from now." And that's the beginning of civilization.

Anywise - I went to the store the other day to buy some salt. I wasn't happy about it, but I had to. Thing is, I went to the salt isle, and a pound of generic salt was 99 cents. I actually paid an extra 60 cents to get the Morton's salt girl on my container. I just liked the packaging better.

Point being, what people used to wage wars over, salt, waaaay back in the day, were wars that would determine the outcome of entire nations. And now, it's available for less than a dollar a pound. I dunno about you, but a dollar in my book, is worth almost next to nothing. And although I wouldn't be happy about it, I'd probly be willing to shell out a buck for a book of matches.

And now we're done with my little rant. There's nothing life changing or revolutionary here, but there is something to appreciate in the commonplace. At any restaurant you get salt for free. Why? I dunno, guess it's cheap enough to give away. Same idea with fire. How does this have anything to do with anything? I can't say...but yet, building on this preposterous quicksand, we've somehow managed to create

this.

Sorry it's taken so long...

2011-05-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

But there's quite a bit that I've had to tune in...

Before transmissions commence - there is this nice little ditty that came from the BBC.

(It's eveidence of what might be the first war ever...probly not, but, um, it's on!)

And before this actually becomes something, I'd like to thank the Beeb, for being an online preseance that for all this time, still supports it's archives. I'm a little pissed at how many of my youtube vids have been rendered inoperable to the most attractive of blog readers...but we can't get stuck in the past - no! No! Know! We have to move forward into the digital frontier - and it don't look like twitter or facebook, it's not updates, or 120 character posts, it looks like paragraphs, and sentences and text bullshit that actually means something.

Since my chops ain't quite up to speed yet...lemme drop you one that is.

Here's a great little bit about space suits.

As per always:

Thanks for swingin' by.

A Can of Raid Ain't Big Enough For The Job

2011-04-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Fjuckin' digital spiders!

Just Sayin' I know

2011-04-09T12:31:00.001-07:00

yep

2011-04-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

Wow!

2010-04-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

Whelp, it looks like the spiders have just about taken over this joint. Sadly, as much as I know about spiders, there's only one way to keep them at bay.

Atomic Head-Boot

2009-08-14T11:19:00.001-07:00

Just somethin' I was messin around with...

I have nothing to add to this

2009-07-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

Eyes Clean?

2009-07-13T11:25:00.000-07:00

Good...cause this'll put a little dirt back into 'em.

I dunno if it's really that impressive, or if it just seems like it is. However, this is a little presentation that had some ideas worth pondering.

"

Something to clean your eyes with

2009-06-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

From the Fjordstyle Files

2009-06-09T11:55:00.000-07:00

Look at this car.

It's the Aston Martin DB4 GT Zagato

I'm not a guy who desires much, but this thing makes me drool. If there is a design
that can ooze "things happen around this object," it's right here, in this car. You'd pretty much have to shower, shave, and put on your tux, just to drive this thing to the store for milk. Of course at the store, you'd somehow stumble across a fantastically attractive superspy chased by evil-doers, which would lead to an action-packed chase scene. Obviously you'd get away - I mean, look at this Gjoddang car!

At which point you'd get a nice thank-yoo smooch, and the thanks of a grateful government. Unfortunately, you'd still need milk.

Pics from Jalopnik - where there's a ton of info if you like this thing.

The future we live in

2009-06-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

There's a good quote by William Gibson that goes something like this...

"The future is already here, it's just unvevenly distributed"

Which is absolutely perfect for what it says. But how can someone compare the quality (and I guess I should add "meaning") of the future-now, with that of the the stuff built in the past that's lasted up till now?

Obviously this question is too huge to have a real "answer" but I'll tap dance on it for a bit. Take buildings as exhibit "A."

Here's a fine example of some new residential construction in L.A. that sums up a whole lot of new development here.

Now, I won't nitpick too much on the asthetics here (even though I should) but I'll add, these things are probably super-duper energy efficient, wired for hi-speed innernet, and up-to-code for being able to withstand a pretty potent earthquake. Regardless, someone somewhere thought that this was what people wanted, and spent a fortune to build it. Maybe they're right. Maybe people will call this home. But the problem is this isn't just one new development that has this look - it's one of thousands.

Now - I know this is apples and oranges, but have a look at Venice Italy here for a second.

Now here we have some charming exteriors, but there have to be some issues right? I mean, these things probly have bugs and rats and mold, all of which are gross. Wired for broadband? Dunno, but I'll bet the electrical wiring isn't up to 21st century standards. Still, it's nice to look at.

Speakin of nice to look at, here's a recent addition to L.A.

Futuristic? Check. This thing will look futuristic for a long time, which is a good thing. Like when someone built this one...

I guess I'll just finish this by wondering, how many people who have the money to develop new construction consider they are building something that will be there for sixty, or eighty, or two hundred years. Of course, it costs a lot of money to build something, and it costs way more to build something ornate. But after a while, your expensive new building is just an old building...and who wants to live or work in an old ugly building?

Sunday Style

2009-06-07T15:43:00.000-07:00

Here's a deck of cards with vintage pin-up girls on em. I found this set at yeeeeee where you can see a whole buch more.

Okey...here's a couple

2009-06-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

English Military History (for dummies)

An here's a stroke of genius from the Onion.

Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire

Ya, Somtimes You Go Thru Time...

2009-06-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

and suffer.

Like this here video, that basically sums up the last couple weeks. Let's just say the ram is life...and I am the Toyota.

(seriously, this is pretty fun)

(Found by these guys)

Here's some neat space footage

2009-05-22T13:35:00.001-07:00

Lookin' at the news for the last three weeks

2009-05-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

and it's hard to go anywhere without seeing "Torture!" "Gitmo!" "Enhanced Interrogations Techniques," and "My God If We Didn't Torture We Would All Be In A Smoking 9-11 Crater!"

I was gonna add my two cents, but after writing something, it made me feel dirty, and it made Fjord feel dirty...and besides, you can find people's opinions about it everywhere.

Instead, I'll tell ya the funny thing I thought about today. Remember Marky-Mark and the Funky Bunch? How funny would it be if you met a musician and their biggest accomplishment was being in "the Funky Bunch."

Question...

2009-05-20T17:33:00.000-07:00

You've got a team of five writers at your disposal for 3 hours - what do you have them write?

Me...I'd be going for a story about cannibal robot zombies.

But that's just how I'm feeling right now.

Buggin Me

2009-05-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

So there's this idea that mass transportation will be the solution and salvation of society. Build trains, and development will spring up around it...and everyone will use it, and it'll be great! We'll stop global warming, and utopia will follow.

But there is never a real discussion about what goes down on the street level of this kind of people mover. I've used public transportation in a bunch of cities, and love it. Sometimes it was out of necessity (like um, 5 years of no car, and building up capital here in L.A.) sometimes it was more practical. (beat downtown parking prices by 90% in Minneapolis) But all of this was also while I was a non-family man, just doing my thing. Most of the time, public transportation is nothing more than blank-space...like being at the laundra-mat. But sometimes public transportation drops you into a confined space with a super crazy person...like the dude in the wheelchair that had a knife and was pissed as fjuck and lashing around with it (I wrote about in '05 and I'm too lazy to look it up now.)

Anyways, as a fellow who can appreciate "the crazy" because it happens in cities everywhere, and for the most part, it's kind-of-free urban entertainment. I wonder how someone not versed in this particular human interaction (like the new train line just got to the suburb where a father and mother are excited about taking their newly turned 5-year-old to the new Disney movie) would be shaped by their first (or first family) mass transit experience.

Then what? Then they never ride the train again. The SUV is just safer for the family.

Not saying this is right...but literally all talk about mass-transportation, and all it's advantages ignores the problem of "human-mass." At least 1% of all humans are totally crazy.

2,000 Posts on this dinky landmass!

2009-05-12T17:08:00.000-07:00

(9 years too late - but now we're Fjord2000!)

I been thinking about musicians and athletes - successful ones (of course) and wondering, why do they bother? Like, make enough money and be smart with it - why strive to be better? If you got 15 million bucks in the bank, and the bills are all paid, why not spend the rest of you life in the jacuzzi?

I guess there's something to be said about a person with financial means being more productive than people with less. Some sort of responsibility that leads them to keep going, and pressing the edge of the envelope. Maybe it's related to something else, like the desire to be the best, and has nothing to do with money at all.

Maybe it's got nothing to do with any of those reasons. I'm broke as fjuck, unfamous as hell, and still troglodyte'in around in the backwaters of blogger world. And yet, what would I be doing if I was rich as fjuck, famous as hell, and getting 370,000 hits a day...

Probly doing what I do every day...wondering what I should post about, wondering if it was entertaining enough. Altho I'd be happy to switch places with my opposite, in order to find out.

Yers,
Tsunami

What I would like right now

2009-05-11T14:26:00.000-07:00

1) maid (preferrably not French, but dressed like one)
2) sweet, sweet income.
3) Off-street parking.
4) About 10 times the inspiration I have now.
5) That's it. I mean, I could go on about how I want to pilot the Goodyear blimp, or be travelling via flying boat through the tropical islands of the Coral Sea, or be smuggling illicit goods with a speedboat, or be planning my next cat-burglar heist, or be preparing to duel Dick Cheney over a matter of honor. But really, for now...right now, that's it.

It's Been A Long Time Coming

2009-05-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

But I've finally taken this FJORD

thing

MULTI-MEDIA!!!

For our first (and likely the last - at least for the near future) piece of original programming,

I give you

TANGENT!

(and thanks for watching Channel Fjord)

For no apparent reason

2009-05-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the D.C. Madam and why that story was so fishy. I mean, she was going to jail...okay - but suicide? That was waaaay to fishy, especially when she was basically threatening to reveal a buncha' govmt types who used her girls. All she had to do was last a couple years in the slammer - and she's got enough fame (or notoriety) that she's doing fine. I mean, are you under the impression that Heidi Fleiss was totally ruined after going to prison? Anyways...no apparent reason for thinking about this now.

Wolverine?

2009-05-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

Nope - haven't seen it, and probably won't. From the trailers...I suspect it looks a lot like
this...(wolverine in 30 seconds)