Flaming Hot Cheetos

Flaming Hot Cheetos #4

2010-03-21T16:19:00.000-07:00

Hilarious. Zach Galifianakis represents a wave of new comedians that are stepping it up. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Will Ferrell's time in the sun. He gave us such great performances in Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy, Zoolander, and Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me. With that said, over the past few years, his movies and performances have been rather weak and repetitive. Has anyone seen "Land of the Lost"?... thats what i thought..

I'll definitely always be a Ferrell fan no matter what, just because Anchorman was so funny, and his SNL jeopardy skits is like a sexual explosion of comedy, but I would rather see his great career not drift off in such a sad manner, so maybe its time for comedians like Will Ferrell to step down for a moment and let these new comedians have their glory. Ferrell should take some time and come up with something original and funny, which I believe he can. In the mean time, the Zach GAlifiankis' and the Aziz Ansari's and the Aubrey Plaza's of the world can make us laugh with comedy styles that haven't been smashed in our faces over and over again.. yeah im talking about you Vince Vaughn.. I don't know how someone can portray the same type of character in a movie like Jurassic Park 2 and a movie like The Wedding Crashers.. but he does it....by golly.. he does it.

Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine

2010-03-06T14:11:00.000-08:00

Exploring new frontiers of music and creating unique auditory experiences. Musical virtuosity coupled with intense emotion. These albums make use of music as a tool to convey a variety of different feelings to the listener. The following posts are reviews of albums which I believe make contact with the listener on an emotional level. That emotion may be tranquility, rage, sadness, etc. etc. Aside from being emotionally draining these albums feature some of the greatest musical and lyrical talent that contemporary music has to offer. Emotionally driven and musically compelling. If you happen to have some time on your hands you should try and listen to the albums, leave a couple comments, and lemme know what you think. And now I present...

Rage Against the Machine – Rage Against the Machine

Vietnamese monk Thích Quảng Đức, burning himself to death in 1963, is featured on the cover of the band’s self-titled album.

An urban call to arms. This entire album is a political message meant to induce intense feelings of uprising against the political system. With the “poetic” vocals of Zack de la Rocha and increasingly heavy guitar riffs by Tom Morello the album creates a gritty urban sound through an unusually successful blend of rap and heavy metal.

I find it very fitting that the two genres which bring this album together are rap and heavy metal. While most people seem to note their musical differences, they fail to see the number of similarities between the musical artists and their devoted fans. Rap and Heavy Metal have always and continue to be the music of the working man. Classical, pop, bubblegum rock, teen pop, and even jazz music are largely dominated by a privileged upper class society with the money to afford a musical education or the status to get your daughter her own TV show along with a musical career (see Miley Cyrus).

Who needs musical talent when you have a rich daddy?

Rap and Heavy Metal, however, are genres spawned from the lower class. The poor and neglected (50 Cent and Jimi Hendrix). The high school dropouts (Ozzy Osbourne and Eminem). Those unwanted by upper society (Marilyn Manson and Tupac Shakur). Both genres are often seen as distasteful and their musical contributions are usually disregarded. It seems only fitting that a musical group comprising of these two genres would be the one to tell all of political America and the upper class society to go fuck themselves.

The album is unrelentingly brutal from the first track to the last. The listener is being constantly cajoled to stand up and fight the political powers with full force. I have never felt such a strong urge to dick-slap former President Bush before. And Obama’s gonna be next if his so-called “change” doesn’t come around soon. Rocha’s screaming preacher raps coupled with Morello's heavy metal, and at some times funky, guitar riffs serve as the perfect tool for spreading their messages of political revolution. And that it most certainly does. The music instills a sense of rage into the listener who is forced to question the government he lives in. The end result is the releasing of your inner anarchist.

Rage Against the Machine

Unlike Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” I would not recommend listening to this album while dormant. The music itself is about taking action and thus I feel the album should be listened to in a similar fashion. Listening to the album while playing fast-paced video games or while working out seems appropriate. Simply plugging in your headphones while lying in bed will just degrade the musical experience. But despite how you listen to the album be prepared for an intense experience of uprising, rage, and revolution.

Tracks to look out for:

2. Killing in the Name – The band’s signature song featuring a heavy use of profanity and a series of now widely recognizable and distinct guitar riffs. The song itself prompts a revolution against racism in security agencies.

3. Take the Power Back – My personal favorite. A heavily funk influenced guitar drives Rocha’s call to arms.

7. Wake Up – Movie fans will immediately recognize this song as the closing to “The Matrix”. The song is another full fledged attack on racism within the US government. The listener is told to wake up and realize all is not as the government says it is.

This turned out to be a little longer then I expected.

Neo is so fucking awesome.

Flaming Hot Cheetos #3

2010-02-07T00:19:00.000-08:00

Derrick Rose is a beast.

Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon

2010-02-06T22:41:00.000-08:00

So I think my next couple of posts are gonna be album reviews of what are some of the best compilations of music that I have ever heard. Each and every one of the following albums are unique in some way. In my opinion I think life should require you to listen to these albums. They explore new frontiers of music and create auditory experiences that not many musicians can duplicate. If you happen to have some time on your hands you should try and listen to the albums, leave a couple comments, and lemme know what you think. So without further ado...

Pink Floyd - The Dark Side of the Moon

The now world-famous album cover.

In my opinion...quite possibly the greatest musical album...ever. Since its release in 1973 it would remain in the Billboard Top 200 for 15 years. The longest any album has ever spent in the Top 200. It would go on to become one of the best-selling albums worldwide. And for a good reason too.

The album, in short, is mind blowing. Not just because of the technical ability of the instrumentalists or because of the mind numbing synthesizer effects. What makes this album so compelling is the themes and feelings that are evoked simply by pushing play. If the point of music is to express and convey certain feelings to the listener (which some people believe it is) then The Dark Side of the Moon achieves this goal with flying colors. The album thrusts you into a deteriorated mental state of mind and leaves you there floating in space without a sense of time or purpose. The result is a monumental musical achievement and an album so unique and unparalleled it will be remembered for ages to come.

Pink Floyd

As I listened to the album I myself felt as if time had stopped. As I closed my eyes I felt as if I had left this mortal plane and delved into a dimension like nothing ever heard before. If you listen closely you can hear cash registers, cries for help, and death. (To continue describing what I heard would be nothing short of impossible. Go get the album.) When the music/sounds had finally stopped and my eyes began to open, what felt like hours of listening had turned out to be less then 45 minutes.

If you do plan on listening to this album, I recommend you listen to it somewhere comfortable and with the lights turned off. It's an auditory experience so your other four senses should be temporarily shut down for what I believe to be the full effect. Set aside 45 minutes with no interruptions and just take it all in. It's an amazing experience no matter what genre of music you may be interested in.

Tracks to look out for:

4. Time - Lyrically one of the most impressive songs on the album.

5. The Great Gig in the Sky - The vocals on this track are phenomenal. Improvised by Clare Torry the sheer emotion in her voice is enough to knock you down on your ass. The song itself is about dying.

And that concludes our lesson for today ladies and gentlemen. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Flaming Hot Cheetos #2

2010-02-04T22:58:00.000-08:00

Why is there always that one old naked man in the Men’s gym locker room? You people know what I’m talking about. Whenever you walk into a locker room, there is usually that creepy old man just naked... standing there, not even doing anything but just standing there, like he’s saying, “hi, look at my old man penis”. I just want to know why. Why are you simply standing there naked? Is it necessary to be naked? Maybe you are a nudist? But it’s always the same situation. There is always at least one old white naked man in the locker room. It’s gotten to the point where I’m surprised if I don’t see an old naked man in the locker room. I really hope someone out there agrees with me, otherwise I’m just going to seem like some crazy person with an old naked man obsession.

If anybody is a fan of awesome Television, watch Breaking Bad! I just started watching it and it tickles me in all the right ways. That sounded really bad. I just started watching it and it is the bomb. The show is about a high school chemistry teacher (played by Bryan Cranston, the dad from Malcolm in the Middle) who finds out he is terminally ill and decides to start a life of crime by cooking Meth. Meth!! Meth!!! Meth!!!!

Okay, I guess that’s all I have to write about for now so here's a funny video:

Batman: Super Hero or Super Zero?

2010-01-22T16:16:00.000-08:00

So February 5, 2010 marks the premiere of the new Smallville episode "Absolute Justice". A 2-hour event with the most costumed heroes to be featured on a Smallville episode. Superman! Green Arrow! Doctor Fate! Martian Manhunter! Hawkman! And More!

------------------------------- - So excited!!!

And as I lay in my lounge chair smoking my blunt and pondering this new Smallville episode, I finally realized...Batman is pretty f***ing useless. It's pretty sad knowing that his most impressive abilities are throwing boomerangs and making unnecessarily guttural growling sounds while attempting to talk.

----------------------------- WHERE IS HE!!!

I mean, what could Batman possibly do that any other member of the Justice League can't do? He has no powers! No magic rings! No super abilities! Take any member of the Justice League and substitute them for Batman in a Batman comic. Did you do it? Fast right? The story probably ended after three pages.

Joker's about to kill the mayor! Oh wait, Superman just flew in, caught the bullet, and literally froze the Joker to the ground using his Ice-Breath. (Which has yet to be featured in a Smallville episode.)

Commissioner Gordon has been kidnapped? Where could he be? Oh wait, the Flash just found him after searching every building in Gotham City in about .74 seconds.

Get the picture? Why is Batman even a part of the Justice League? Even some of the less-then-glamorous heroes are more useful then him. Hawkman, for example, can fly.

------------------------------- Can Batman Fly?

------------------------- No. He's falling with style.

Aquaman is best friends with Jaws and the Loch Ness Monster! What's Batman gonna do for back-up? Call the 12 year old boy in green underwear that he has living in his basement? (And now you know why Batman isn't allowed within 200 feet of any school in Gotham City.)

If this is your idea of "back-up" then you have a serious problem.

John Henry Iron's battle armor is so souped up he makes the Bat-Suit look like a bullet proof vest. Oh wait, the Bat-Suit practically IS a bullet proof vest. Can someone please tell me why Batman hasn't died yet?! I don't care who you are, you cannot run around in a tricked-out Kevlar vest throwing boomerangs in the middle of gang-land and expect to live.

Wow. This has certainly become quite a rant. So I know there are going to be a lot of angry people who read this blog...so please leave a comment or two. I'm a comic book geek so I LOVE to argue. I also love flamingos. And sexy Asian chicks. If you have any please feel free to leave some of them too.

Live long and prosper true believers.

Flaming Hot Cheetos #1

2010-01-21T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm with team Coco. Its sad to say that Conan O'Brien's last episode hosting the Tonight Show is upon us after only 7 months! Almost everyone knows the story, and has thrown in their opinions on Jay Leno and NBC. I wont bore you with my opinions on that matter, but I will say that Conan O'Brien is a class act and he will hopefully be back on air as soon as September. I think I might boycott NBC, which to me means that I won't watch NBC anymore, but they do have some good programs... like The Office (dope), Parks and Recreation (aubrey plaza is da bomb), and 30 Rock ( Tina fey is all kinds of sexy). I guess there is always Hulu.

Anyways, Conan is a very intelligent and witty comedian, and I believe he has many options. I thought of a few things Conan could do in his free time, besides the ones he mentioned on his show ( such as porn). Conan could write an episode of The Simpsons, and bring back the glory days of when the show was actually funny. Have you seen The Simpsons lately? Its pretty much the worse thing on air since The Jay Leno show.

So earlier, when I said i thought of a few things Conan could do in his free time, I lied. The Simpsons idea was the only one i had. Id figure I would come up with another one by the time i finished my thought on the Simpsons, but uh.. yeah. Heres a picture of a Cat!