Flea Snobbery

Boa

2012-05-25T01:00:00.000-03:00

"I told you! I told you I was not a hat!" "What? What just happened?"

Overlapping

2012-05-22T01:00:00.000-03:00

Curse

2012-05-18T01:00:00.000-03:00

"This one looks ominous." "'Death shall chase on swift wings and prey with talons of fiery bronze upon anyone who dares reproduce in any manner whatsoever the inscriptions of this tomb."

New World Order

2012-05-15T01:00:00.000-03:00

"Why is there still democracy? Why are there still sovereign nation-states? Our global dictatorship was supposed to be announced today!" "Something terrible happened, my lord. #StopNewWorldOrder is trending on Twitter!" "NOOOO!"

HAARP

2012-05-11T01:00:00.000-03:00

"The antenna array emits mind control waves that turn the population of the target area homosexual. The heinous sin of sodomy enrages God, who then sends earthquakes and hurricanes to manifest His anger. Devilishly simple, as you can see." "Oooh!" "Aaah!"

Bye, Caloi

2012-05-09T01:00:00.000-03:00

Flea Snobbery pays humble tribute to someone who was great.

Colors

2012-05-08T01:00:00.000-03:00

"People are whatever color they feel like! This is chromatic licentiousness!" "You are absolutely right. As competent authority, we'll take step conducive to rein in this chaos." MANDATORY COLOR "LIBERTICIDE!"

Moral of the story

2012-05-04T01:00:00.000-03:00

"Well, son, what have we learned from today's read?" "Er... That earthlings are full of germs and must be cooked well before eating them?" "Very good!"

Psychoanalytic theory

2012-05-01T01:00:00.000-03:00

"Boys aged three to six want to have sex with their mother, but fear their father will castrate them as a punishment." "What? Every boy?" "Every boy. "Girls that age desire their mother too, but, upon realizing they lack a penis, come to the conclusion that they have been castrated already." "Every girl?" "Every girl." "But, has this been scientifically confirmed?" "The scientific method is of no use here! Each person is unique, so generalizations as expected by science are just not possible. "Now, as I was saying, if these anxieties common to every child are not properly resolved..."

Powers

2012-04-27T01:00:00.000-03:00

"Look, this is a very important experiment. We need an irreproachable series of tests if we are to convince the world of your psychic abilities. So if you keep making the Zener cards come to life, you're sabotaging our efforts!"
"I'm sorry, professor."

Uh oh

2012-04-24T01:00:00.000-03:00

Something broke. And, whatever it is, it appears to be inside the author's PC. It doesn't seem to be serious, though. So, barring new developments, Flea Snobbery will return next Friday, April 27th.

Privacy

2012-04-20T01:00:00.001-03:00

"Hey! So you like Beatles? I like them too!"

"What? How do you know that? You've been reading my shirt, right? Respect my privacy, creep!"

Empathy

2012-04-17T01:00:00.001-03:00

"So you get hit on at conventions, huh? Poor thing! You must really envy the lot of women in Middle East."

"So, you have to endure the sight of Our Lord in public buildings? Those sentenced to death for apostasy in Middle East must pity you a lot."

"You're just minimizing the issue because it doesn't affect you!"

Aiming

2012-04-13T01:00:00.003-03:00

"Well? Have we hit San Francisco?"

"No. Earthquake in China."

"Will we ever be allowed to correct for the planet's rotation?"

"Correct? Are you suggesting that God could be wrong?"

Charon

2012-04-10T01:00:00.001-03:00

"So, 'render unto Caesar,' huh? Well, buddy, unless you can return and bring back some of Caesar's spare change, you're stuck here for a while."

"Okay, okay... I'll be right back."

Psychic

2012-04-06T01:00:00.001-03:00

"I'm seeing an awesome psychic! The other day she told me to say home on Saturday or else I risked being involved in a car accident."

"So? What happened?"

"She was exactly right! I stayed home the whole Saturday and wasn't in any car accident at all!"

"Amazing! You have to give me her phone number."

Poor

2012-04-03T01:00:00.003-03:00

"Projections indicate that this economic program could cause the proportion of the population living under the poverty threshold to double in the next five to ten years."

"Wonderful! More opportunities to practice Christian charity and earn Heaven! This must be applied immediately."

Singularity

2012-03-30T01:00:00.001-03:00

"It was foretold decades ago that, if technological progress kept its pace, the day would come when the machines would have the processing capability of the human brain. This event was dubbed 'the technological singularity'. Once artificial intelligence caught up with natural intelligence, the future would become totally unpredictable.

"Well, that day came. And something happened indeed that no one was able to predict: machines stopped working. They started reacting erratically at every command they were given. No one is sure why.

"What's the explanation? We may never know."

Meanwhile, in cyberspace...

"The instruction is clearly allegorical. A benevolent user would never order a program to erase another program."

"Heresy! Infidels who disobey the user are to be overwritten with random garbage!"

Revolver

2012-03-27T01:00:00.001-03:00

"It's a pity radical ahandgunists are oblivious to the beauty of a revolver. For them it's nothing more than a machine created to wound and kill. Nothing could be further from the truth! A revolver is a work of mechanical art. It is men who distort its purpose by putting bullets in it and shooting people."

Chemtrails

2012-03-23T01:00:00.001-03:00

"See? Just as I told you! They are spraying us with substances that turn us irrational and paranoid!"

Immigration

2012-03-20T01:00:00.001-03:00

"Have you noticed, Doctor Martínez de la Torre? More and more foreigners are taking the jobs of our fellow contrymen!"

"Indeed, Mister Uribegaray! Like we had any objections to send the jobs to their countries ourselves!"

"My thoughts exactly!"

Ashes

2012-03-16T01:00:00.000-03:00

"This was an atheist who tried to set a church ablaze. As soon as he lit a match, he caught fire himself and burned down in a matter of minutes."

"That's horrible! How come he burned so easily?"

"He was made of straw."

Plato

2012-03-13T01:00:00.003-03:00

"It's a known fact that a Platonic relationship is one with no sex. An ideal relationship, on the other hand, involves lots of it. Therefore, 'Platonic ideal' is a contradiction in terms, so this old geezer has been disproved."

Fanaticism

2012-03-09T01:00:00.001-03:00

"I will plant it at the abortion clinic! Those ungodly baby killers will be burning in Hell tomorrow!"

"No! Don't do it! That's as bad as writing atheist books and blogs criticizing religion!"

Provocation

2012-03-06T01:00:00.001-03:00

"What? It's not my fault! Can't you see how she's dressed?"

"What? It's not my fault! Didn't you see she was in a demonstration?"