isn’t the answer obvious?

for many people the sheer scale of this question is mind-blowing, and they avoid answering it because they simply do not know what they really want to do with their life.

others, and you may be among them, instinctively know the answer to this question; a problem this group might face is that they think the answer is too obvious, and that everyone else would be thinking the same thing.

until this afternoon, i was in the first group mentioned above; i knew that i wanted to do something, but to answer the “what would you do…” question would require several paragraphs, covering all kinds of different subjects.

today, mrs clarity paid a visit and brought with her a realisation that the answer to this question needs to be stripped right down to its simplest form.

keep it simple stupid

(or “keep it simple sweetheart” if you prefer things sugar-coated to avoid upsetting  politically correct sensitivities; i do not)

yes, that old chestnut simplicity.

it makes sense really – if you can put your mission, vision, goal or purpose into a simple statement, then you stand a better chance of getting your head around it, and a far better chance of explaining it to someone else.

if the thing that really tangos your mango can be stated in clear, simple terms, then you will have a much better chance of getting people on your side, acquiring resources to do the job etc.

conversely, if you need to babble on excitedly for hours and hours to get the full message across – expect only a few local nutters to join your cause; all the intelligent, “normal” people will have gone home by the time you have finished.

how to get that lightbulb moment

to be perfectly honest with you, you’re not going to like the answer to this one, but here it is anyway, take it or leave it!

the way to figure out the answer to “what would i do if i knew i couldn’t fail?” is…. drum roll…. fanfare…. fireworks…

keep thinking about it until you feel the lightbulb go on, and a beaming smile fills your entire face.

that can take seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months or even years – the actual timescale is largely down to you, your rate of progression in terms of personal development, and how open you are to these processes.

if i can offer just one more tip, it is this; the answer to the question is quite likely to be far more profound than you can even possibly imagine…

oh and if you’re interested, the thing i would do if i knew i couldn’t fail is… fix the world.

it was quite liberating actually, walking alongside the swan river in the driving rain, wearing business shirt and trousers. there was nothing nearby offering cover, so there was no choice but to simply carry on walking anyway. people driving along the road, or the joggers who passed me by must have thought “what a twat”. i certainly hope so.

by the time i got up to king’s park the sun had come out and i started drying off – indeed, i was almost completely dry by the time i got back to the office. it dawned on me that as kids we would head out the back without a care in the world, get wet, muddy and worse. sometimes it’s nice to step outside of the adult world (the one wear you worry about a few drops of rain making you a bit damp) and reclaim some of that childhood spirit and freedom.

and another thing

as i was coming towards the end of the walk, which includes a few km of pleasant bushland where you can almost forget you’re still within sight of the city, i passed a “for sale” sign. it’s an apartment in a nice part of the city, with superb views over the city and river.

the apartment is a bargain at only $2,900,00.

the price tag caused a split reaction within me, one that highlights a central issue that many of us have trouble coming to terms with (well i do anyway).  on one hand, part of me was thinking “wouldn’t it be nice to be able to afford that and live in such a wonderful location – wouldn’t it be great of i could give my family that kind of standard of living?”

the other side of me was thinking “what a frigging joke – 3 million for an apartment?? the world has gone mad…”

to have or not to have

the core of the issue is right there; one half was thinking in terms of how someone might become able to buy that type of property, to afford that kind of living standard. the other half was seething at the social injustice, and how our consumption-driven society has failed us, creating an ever-widening gap between have and have-not.

which side is right? probably neither of them and both, all at the same time.

a brighter future?

it is my hope that one day soon, the world will realise the folly of the 20th century approach, the all-out consumption, the dog-eat-dog attitude, the culture of “i had to work to get where i am today, so i’ll be damned if i’m going to help someone else”.

it really is failing us all. i look forward to the day where the focus is on fulfillment for the majority, and not just luxury apartments for the minority, who make their money by screwing the rest.

would it really be too much to ask for the world to put aside some of the “adult” behaviour that’s caused so much grief, and instead regain some childlike innocence and joy?

i for one hope it isn’t, how about you?

so this post is the type of thing you won’t find on a “guru” blog, because it simply reflects a certain level of frustration that some people appear not to experience. reality is they do, they just don’t publish it. in my opinion that’s unfair to those who are trying to emulate them.

we are all human

it doesn’t mater whose blog you read, whether it’s the latest “information marketing superstar”, the current trendy “minimalism guru”, or this week’s incredibly popular “feisty business chick” – underneath it all they are still human (well, most of them anyway).

because of that they get frustrated, they don’t always have things go their way, and sometimes they have to face issues within themselves.

welcome to my day

i’ll be blunt with you (you deserve that) – today is one of those days for me. after many years of slowly putting a small business together, today the frustration got to me. it got to me because the business is still not providing a regular income despite a massive amount of hard work.

and that brings a realisation that i personally have found hard to get my head around; creating a successful business has very little to do with hard work. in fact you can work harder and harder, and get further away from your dream!

work less, succeed more

there’s a lot to be said for the expression “you’ll never make money working for someone else”. what is never fully explained is the fact that “someone else” often includes yourself.

one business model that is out there is what i call the “overpaid consultant” model – this is where someone positions themselves as an expert and commands a very high hourly rate. in this instance, working for themselves does indeed lead to much better financial reward than if they were hired out by a consultant agency.

if you find yourself in a business that doesn’t fit this model (i.e. most small businesses) then you can fall into a trap; you can become an overworked and underpaid employee in your own business!

in fact it is probably worse than being a low paid employee for someone else, because you keep reminding yourself “it will all be worth it one day”.

except “one day” doesn’t come, you spend all your time working on jobs for clients, and you get more and more frustrated, wondering when all the hard work is going to pay off.

this can be a particularly nasty trap for those of us building businesses alongside full-time jobs. it can lead to the conclusion that the business will never be able to replace the full time salary, and the frustration levels rise further.

how to spring the trap

it’s a tired old cliche in many ways, but the solution is to stop working in the business (and start working on the business).

i have started to hate that phrase to be honest – it’s trotted out by every multi-level-marketing and information marketing clone on the planet.

an idea that irritates me slightly less is the concept of switching from employee mode to that of employer.

by no longer working for someone else (including yourself) you can start to make money by paying others to do the stuff that takes up your time. this then leaves you to get all strategic and business-owner-like.

you’ve got the plans, the ideas, the overall mission in your head – if you stop doing the actual work you can create the space in which you can push those things forward, develop them further and then hand down a clear vision to others for implementation.

stay calm and don’t let the bastards grind you down

you sometimes need to tweak your strategy and approach – after all if something ain’t working, then simply pushing on in the same direction is not that likely to produce different results! perhaps more importantly though is to never, ever, let the frustration stop you.

the world of business blogs is full of trite statements like “success often happens after a failure” and “success is usually found just after the point where you are ready to give up” – to be honest, i find most of that stuff annoying. it’s written by people who have already arrived (or who are at least pretending to have arrived) and it’s essentially condescending dribble.

it does however contain a small nugget of truth; if you let the bastards grind you down, then they will have won. sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on, until the universe gets bored of putting obstacles in your way.

let’s be honest – if you’re working a typical job, it’s 30 or 40 years of frustration with no real reward, ever. at least with your own business you can see a reason for putting up with the frustration – even if it doesn’t feel like it at times!

oh and by the way… if you are feeling frustrated, i’ve got a great tip on how to help release that feeling – blog about it.

i wouldn’t mind necessarily, but most of these so-called “experts” are simply regurgitating the same shit they learned from some guru or other. sure, they put their own spin on things, but the core information is the same and they’re probably only doing it because they’ve been told it’s a way they can make money.

i know it’s true because i’ve been there

over the years, i have investigated and experimented with almost all forms of internet marketing. despite promises of vast riches beyond my dreams, i’ve never built one of those famous “successful businesses”.  in fact, come to think of it, most of those seem to be businesses focused on selling information…. about internet marketing!

my reason for investigating these things? simple – i thought it was a way to make money. reality is that it:

• is boring as batshit
• fills the internet with pointless guff about making money
• pisses people off

just don’t do it, mmm-kay?

actually, if in your heart of hearts you know that information marketing is for you, if you really think you’ll get a kick out of producing a report (or commissioning a freelancer to write a report) on fly fishing – then go for it!

if it’s not something you’re passionate about (and i mean jizz-in-your-pants, top-of-the-world, ecstatic passion) then do the world a favour and find something else to do….

but i want to start a business….

cool, that’s brilliant, and i seriously hope you start one and make a real success of it.

to be truly successful however, your business will need to be based around what your heart tells you, not your head.

if “making money” is your true passion, then fine. for most home-based, internet-based businesses, that simply isn’t the case – even if you initially think it is!

look at what’s in your heart first, and then build something around that.

you’ll thank yourself later on.

last week was an intense one for me, three separate areas of my life independently reached specific milestones at the same time. while I am not surprised at all by the synchronicity, it left my mind slightly blown, calm and invigorated all at once.

milestone 1

as I have discussed here previously, I actively follow a pagan, nature-based spiritual path. while I do not consider this to be a religion in the conventional sense, I am of course part of an organised group (or as we call it, a coven).

for the past 12 months I have been doing some personal development work, as part of my journey towards second degree initiation. on thursday night, this phase reached its conclusion with a second degree ritual in recognition of the work that has been done, and the progress that has been made.

I can now quite proudly describe myself as a “priest of the craft” – undoubtedly a phrase that means little to most people, but which has a lot of significance for me personally.

milestone 2

my business partners and I have been having a number of discussions concerning the mission, vision and direction of WAHM Website Success (our business). we have discussed what our target market is, pricing that matches our personal and business values and so on. we have just started working with a business coach who will help us establish the level of clarity we need around those issues and more.

step 1 of this process has been to complete a questionnaire, listing personal and business goals, values and ambitions. we also had to write a potted history of our own life to date, and complete an assessment of how we feel our life currently compares to where we want it to be.

it was a highly therapeutic process that has already helped establish a lot more clairy (for me personally at least). it also triggered some further email discussions, culminating in a sense of emergence from the initial phase of our business, with a better sense of our overall direction.

milestone 3

this year I have been working on my own health, physical fitness and wellbeing. for various reasons I have put my hand up to (eventually) run a marathon, and have been working remotely with a very good personal trainer to that end.

there is still a long way to go, however this weekend I took part in a 10km Fun Run, completed the full distance distance, and didn’t even finish last! the sense of accomplishment was amazing, as you can read here.

what’s all this milestone stuff?

so, apart from taking the time to celebrate these personal “victories”, why have I mentioned these things?

the answer to that is really split into two parts; firstly hitting these milestones provides very real examples of what can be achieved, in a relatively short amount of time, if you simply set out to do something and keep going until you get there.

they all demonstrate very nicely how if you get your thinking right, then the realisation (of what you are aiming for) will follow automatically. you’ve just got to get your thinking right, and refuse to be blown off course.

the second part of the reason is the net effect these things have had on me, and a very highly developed sense of purpose that I now have for the No More Mr Fat Guy website.

if you want to know more about THAT then you’ll have to wait while I process the ideas, thoughts and inspiration that have spewed forth into my mind!

it turns out that there IS a well thought out set of policies that match this list, with just a few exceptions – most notably taxation and decriminalisation of drugs.

even on those points, the actual policies make sense and I’d be happy to compromise on those points. the overall policy position is progressive, environmentally aware and far more comprehensive than I thought it would be.

the greens

I am talking, of course, about the Australian Green Party. many moons ago the UK greens were heavily criticised for having narrow policy platforms, with no real regard for economics and other matters that concern a government. having read through the policies of the Australian Greens, it seems that things have most certainly changed.

if you can’t be bothered to read it all (and you really should), at least watch this:

In recent times it’s become harder to determine which blog to post something to, as there are an increasing number of topics and thoughts that appear to span them all. On top of that, having multiple blogs to maintain is a really bad use of my increasingly overstretched time!

the paths converge

I have slowly come to realise that these “distinct” areas are in fact simply different aspects of my own development. As I advance in each area, so the same type of issues come to the fore, and common ground reveals itself.

Tonight I have taken the first step to re-combining blogs, by importing the “flipping the wheel” posts and pointing that domain to this blog. This blog is now home to all posts relating to personal development, paganism/spirituality and business mindset stuff.

I intend to include health/fitness/wellness content as well; the daily journal however will continue to be posted on No More Mr Fat Guy (it is an easy way for me to share info with my trainer and get feedback!)

better for some, maybe not for others

I’ve no doubt that this re-combining of content will make the blog less relevant for some people, on the other hand it may prompt thoughts and ideas on a broader range of related topics.

It suits me, the time feels right to have the blog represent the “whole” me – I hope it ends up suiting you!

“If you realize that you have enough, you are truly rich”
Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

what is minimalism?

For me, the word “minimalism” brings forth images of monk-like Zen enthusiasts, dressed in white linen and walking barefooted around their white-walled, wooden-floorboarded apartment.

Sure there are some people like that, but it turns out that this is an extreme minority of the minimalist “movement”.

More “ordinary” minimalists are really pursuing a little less clutter and more simplicity in their lives, with the idea that this will enable them to live a fuller life, with a greater focus and clarity around the things that truly inspire and motivate them (be it work, family, adventure, travel etc.)

my interest in minimalism

I am quite a hoarder and have always tended to be quite cluttered, disorganised, messy and untidy. I am not a “neat freak” but I’ve always been a little pissed off that I am not tidier.

I’ve had an interest in the notion of a less cluttered life for a very long time, I just never really found a way to change things. In recent years though I have become increasingly frustrated and annoyed with the need to find space for things I hardly touch.

Much like the idea of getting fit and healthy, this is an issue that has been burning away inside for a long time. It has simply lacked any real or sustained action.

what might my version of minimalism look like?

First of all, I would NOT sell everything and become the owner of one shirt, one pair of jeans and one pair of shoes. That (in my opinion) is a bloody stupid idea.

Furthermore, the fact is that I live with my wife, 3 year old son, 2 budgies and a young greyhound. No matter what I do with MY stuff, there would be no point in holding some vision of a “post-modern minimalist” living space (you know, the sort of things that you might expect form some pretentious overpaid yuppy stockbroker!)

No, I think my version of minimalism would be more focused on simplifying, packing things of sentimental value and storing them neatly. It would also be more about removing non-physical clutter, with a view to being more focused, more organised and more productive WITHOUT adopting a 23 hour working day.

finding minimalist inspiration and ideas

For those interested in simplifying their lives, removing clutter that is perhaps making life less enjoyable than it should, or simply interested in reading up on the subject, these blogs are great places to start:

The Everyday Minimalist
Becoming Minimalist
mnmlist
zen habits
Exile Lifestyle

Photo by Steve A Johnson

“Parliamentary democracy is, in truth, little more than a means of securing a periodical change in the management team, which is then allowed to preside over a system that remains in essence intact. If the British people were ever to ask themselves what power they truly enjoyed under our political system they would be amazed to discover how little it is”

Tony Benn – former UK Labour Cabinet Minister 

I just don’t get it, I really don’t. After thousands of years of existence, how come the human race is still so screwed up?

Why do we tolerate things that make no sense? Why are we so determined to make life so hard for ourselves?

is the notion of equal rights really that hard?

Point 1 on the list – gay marriage. I’m not even sure why we are even having a so-called debate about this. Nor why we seem to tolerate idiots in power, who continue to exclude a certain group of people from certain aspects of life.

Seriously people, why do we let them get away with it?

It’s not hard – stop making laws about who can and can’t get married and let people do what the hell they like.

don’t impose your fairy tales on me

Religion… oh my, oh deary deary me. What a clusterfuck THIS has become!

Grow up people – ignoring the fact that organised religion has been used as a tool to control, deprive, acquire power etc. all religions are someone’s version of “how it all began”. It generally involves a bearded bloke in the sky, and has as much chance of being proven as the existence of Father Christmas.

It ought to be harmless – everyone has the right to view the world, their place in it, and the ultimate meaning or purpose of life in any which way that they choose. But that’s not what happens…

The major religions, over the years, have managed to act like dickheads on a school playground – fighting each other, shouting “mine is best” and forcing people to choose which version they believe is true.

The individual spiritual viewpoint, development and practice ought to be a matter for the individual, not a piss-poor excuse for people to blow each other up.

Grow up FFS!

a fair and just society – surely we all want that!

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? I mean… who can deny the value of a world where no-one starves, everyone lives without worrying about the basic needs of life, and we all get to experience the things that life has to offer?

Apparently an awful lot of people can, in practice. I’m not sure when people started to be such self-centred pricks, but we’re certainly doing a great job of perfecting that “art”.

You can see it everywhere:

• feeling like you’ve done your bit by donating a gold coin to some charity or other
• swallowing the line that there are huge armies of dole bludgers trying to take all your money through taxes
• getting all uppity about refugees
• being a complete twat because someone else is a bit different to you
• shrugging your shoulders and believing that this is how it is and there’s nothing can be done about it

It really just needs people to calm down, stop listening to the media, to the corporate wankers, to the grubby, self-serving corrupt tossers we call politicians… and then realise that life doesn’t have to be hard after all.

Think about it – take some issue that you think is dragging your country down (for example). Think about it deeply, think about it until you realise it’s all a load of shit.

I approached Water in much the same way as Fire; I’ve had a watery desktop wallpaper for a few months now and have directed my thoughts in that general direction.

Water has been full of surprises; not quite the shock and drama of Fire yet equally unsettling in a much gentler manner.

I guess that initially I had some pre-conceptions about working with Water, what it would entail and the feedback I would get. These mostly centred around the ideas of emotional expression, empathy and effective control/management of emotions.

While these themes have played a part, they were definitely NOT the main event…

it all went to plan for a while

In the first few weeks, even perhaps the first month or two, things were going pretty much to my pre-conceived “plan”. I began to notice my emotional reactions more and even found I was able to actively manage them more readily. At times it was as if I was a detached observer to my own emotions, able to take an objective view of those emotions.

I also found myself mentally standing back and assessing, before responding to other people’s emotions. Taking time to understand and empathise; even perhaps making allowances for emotional outbursts.

It felt as though Water was going to be a cushy little number – I just needed to get control of my own emotional triggers and master them…

a funny thing happened on the way to the forum

Actually, not the “forum”, but Facebook. A group was started up where people could post up memories and photos of the town where I grew up. School photos, town centre photos, people posting “do you remember…”

All fairly standard nostalgia for those of us who are in the viciniy, or slap bang in the middle, of middle age.

I was enjoying seeing the photos, posted a few myself, bumped into (in a virtual world sense) friends from many moons ago… it was all very pleasant and brought back many happy memories.

Then it happened – Water timed its attack pefectly, and bubbled up to the surface many not-so-great moments, experiences and “regrets” from the past.

your life really can flash before your eyes

During the course of a half hour walk, my mind did a virtual walkthrough of my life so far; from the earliest age that I can consciously recall, to the present time.

Along the way it highlighted for me, at different stages of my life

• personality defects
• negative influences
• foolish things done or said
• the impacts of these things on my confidence, ambitions and actions
• the lessons to be learned

It was an amazing experience, and has to go down as the best walk I’ve ever had!

gently washed away and cleansed

Now I do have to say that there is no seriously “bad” skeleton in my personal closet, but there are certain issues and events that have remained unreconciled and unfinished without me even really being conscious of the fact.

Until that walk, I had no idea just how much of an impact this “unfinished business” was actually having – turns out it has had a massive overall effect, over the years. Small things building on top of each other, feeding each other and growing like compound interest can grow a small sum of money.

At each life stage “shown” to me on that walk, I also saw the benefits and lessons to be gleaned from that and, once taken on board, the issues seemed to fade away.

By the end of the walk there was a sense of calm, a feeling of having been cleansed. Water had brought things to the surface, cleaned them off and then gently washed them away!

what happens next? 

Overall I find it quite sad that this blog post represents the end of another stage of my personal journey. At the same time it’s been very rewarding and there’s also a sense of excitement about the start of another stage…

Based on experience so far, whatever comes next is sure to be exciting, meaningful, relevant and of course completely surprising in shape, form, timing and impact!