Flog the Bunny

I’m 34, I’m allowed to be senile

Tim — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 09:56:57 +0000

Step 1: Remember you have more coffee waiting.
Step 2: Get up from computer, pick up cup, walk to kitchen.
Step 3: In kitchen, put cup by sink ready to be washed.
Step 4: Turning to leave kitchen, see cafetiere.
Step 5: Remember you wanted more coffee, pick up cafetiere, walk back to computer to refill cup.
Step 6: Wonder where cup is.
Step 7: etc.

Also, one of the lenses fell out of my increasingly battered spectacles yesterday, so I need to purchase a monocle to wear along with said damaged glasses, because keeping one eye closed while trying to concentrate on anything is quite tricky.

Although increasing text size on screen and leaning waaaay back seems to do the trick, though is quite inconvenient.

OR I could accelerate plans to purchase a new zoom lens for my camera and look through that at an appropriate focal length. Although it probably won’t help. I haven’t really thought this through - it’s early and I may or may not have had enough coffee. And anyway, if I buy this lens, people will probably make assumptions.

Learn the four most important English words…

Tim — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:16:00 +0000

Now, what was I on about…?

Tim — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 13:56:55 +0000

Here are some terse notes that I have found, supposedly to jog my memory of something amusing I was going to write about, and long since completely forgotten the significance.

On the 2nd of April 2010, I wanted to “write up weird showers etc thing for FTB”.

What showers? (”Pint of Banks’s mild please!” I hear you all chorus in your hilarious Black Country accents. Stop it.) I have a vague recollection of thinking about showers (as in running yourself under a big tap) of things other than water. But I can’t really remember. I bet it was brilliant though.

Then a few days later, from 5th April 2010:
“Unorthodox friends a la Heather McCartney. -> bath of custard, distraction”
I suspect I may have meant Heather Mills not Heather McCartney, but who the hell knows. I could conceivably have meant Linda McCartney. Definitely a woman, and definitely someone associated with Paul McCartney.

Any ideas? Anyone?

Anyone I mentioned these things to at the time?

Anyone want to write something?

Help me!!

Peter Pan gets bullied by swan & triceratops. (animation)

Tim — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 13:39:30 +0000

While playing around to see if I could use Aperture to control my camera (yes I can!), I got a bit carried away yesterday and hacked together this animation.

Yes it is silent. I hope you enjoy it as much as the actors enjoyed making it.

No small plastic toys were harmed, etc.

Update: Youtube link for the Flashless but YouTube-enabled.

Habitat - they’re just obsessed with Seinfeld!

Tim — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 22:41:20 +0000

It’s true! Was enjoying a perusal round Habitat in Oxford today and saw two Seinfeld-related product names.

They’re obsessed!

Or at least one of us is.

This is why I never write anything.

Tim — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 11:31:53 +0000

Something amusing comes up in a conversation somewhere, possibly an alcohol-affected conversation. I realise there’s possibly a gem of an idea that I can write about, and I make a note of it in my iMobileTelePhone.

Then a few days later, I’m going through notes in my phone and come to this: “Emailing nhs direct, fangs venom Tongue “.

WHAT?

Sleepytime?

Tim — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:20:57 +0000

Why aren’t I asleep?
Tomorrow I should perk up;
bought some Berrocca!

Nifty-fifty lens,
new plaything for camera;
clarity is mine.

Some more haiku

Tim — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 23:53:32 +0000

“Fetch more condiments!”
demanded the hungry ones
So much left, for shame.

Wa-TOOSH: sneeze surprise!
Look confused for a second,
then hear the mist fall.

Went to bed at ten,
now midnight swift approaches;
blame Facebook, haiku.

Hurty haiku

Tim — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 12:18:36 +0000

Bloody thermal cup.
When I spill tea on my hand,
It’s so much hotter.

Ow.

The ultimate computer peripheral?

Tim — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 18:05:08 +0000

Does anyone know of a device I can attach to my computer that does the following? I want to be able to dispel dialog boxes by slamming my fist on the desk (possibly requiring a pressure-sensitive pad, with USB connectivity), and shouting “enough of your lies!”, so microphone also required. This will have the effect of closing a dialog box that has focus, selecting the best option from “No” or “Cancel” automatically from context.

If there isn’t anything that works when you shout “enough of your lies!”, does anyone know of something that maybe responds to “Get thee gone, Beelzebub! You and your hellish minions!”. If anyone has any suggestions, it would be much appreciated. Oh, and existing solutions should be compatible with Mac and Windows.

And if not, I can feel a patent application coming on. Let’s say it’s non-obvious for the moment.

Alternatively, it will just sit in the list of brilliant yet un-acted upon ideas, and I will file it next to the napkin I found in my back pocket today on which is scrawled, in black biro in a rectangle of triumphant emphasis, “plankton restaurant”.