By Deirdre Fishel, independent filmmaker, writer and director of SPERM DONOR X.

When I look at my life, there are some things I wish I’d done earlier.

I’m now in grad school, so I can teach full time to complement my filmmaking career. But it would’ve been a helluva lot easier doing it without kids.

On the other hand I wish I had gotten a film into Sundance later. I was 32 and, despite my sales rep wanting me to lie that I was 28, I wasn’t ready for the intense pressure of dealing with producers and agents.

But having my twin daughters at 42 was perfect timing.  It wasn’t just that I was able to devote my thirties to my career; but that emotionally I had the time to distance myself from a complex childhood. I felt really ready to devote myself to another human being.

But, as many of us know, good timing is not what you hear when you walk into a fertility clinic at close to 41.  Instead it’s, “What the hell were you thinking waiting so long?  You’re chances have dwindled to nothing!”

As chronicled in my film, Sperm Donor X—despite the fact that I had no actual fertility issues—I was treated as a fertility problem and put onto Clomid.  After only three tries I was put onto 2 cycles of injectibles then IVF.

My story ends amazingly well.  On the sixth try I got pregnant with healthy twin girls.  But, in retrospect, I wonder if part of that success had to do with the calm that came with deciding that would be my last try.  If I didn’t get pregnant that time I would adopt.

What I felt was this really powerful feeling that I would be a mother no matter what. Stress has been proven to reduce chances of pregnancy.  So, I think it’s key to try to de-stress a super stressful situation.

For me, it helped to think about my options. How long could I do this emotionally and financially? Would I do donor egg?  Would I adopt?

Most of the time I was trying, I was dwelling on how crazy I was to have waited so long, fixated on having a fully biological child in a world that was telling me my chances were lessening – which made me feel totally out of control.

Feeling like I would parent, no matter what, put me back in the driver’s seat of my own destiny.  We all know that our percentage chances of getting pregnant in our 40’s are less than in our 20’s or 30’s.   That does not mean we should all be having kids in our 20’s or 30’s.  There are really valid reasons for waiting and it isn’t impossible!

I had my girls at 42, my friend Nina her son at 43, my friend Michele her son at 44.  Not every woman in her 40’s will get pregnant.  Not every woman—regardless of age—will get pregnant, period.  Some will move to donor egg, some will not.

However, feeling good about our choice to have kids later in life—no matter what anyone else says—is the first step, followed by thinking through our options, trying to remain calm and in the moment. After initially stressing, that was my strategy and it worked.

Notes for this blog:

Deirdre Fishel is an independent filmmaker of both dramatic and documentary films. Her documentary, SPERM DONOR X chronicles her and three other diverse women’s journeys to become single mothers via donor sperm.

To learn more about her and her work go to www.spermdonorx.com or www.mindseyeproductions.com.

During the more than twenty years I have worked as an OB/GYN I have guided mothers from the age of thirteen to fifty-three through the process of conception to childbirth. If I haven’t seen it all, I think it’s fair to say that I’ve seen a lot.

As a fifty year-old father of five, with three children having been born during my forties, I have a very personal appreciation for the issues relating to childbirth later in life.

There are some inescapable facts related to later pregnancy that should be noted. Studies suggest that good outcomes can be realized in women over forty-five or even fifty, but that the likelihood of certain complications is much higher. Such complications include higher rate of miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, fetal chromosomal abnormalities, congenital anomalies, placental abnormalities, gestational diabetes, hypertension, cesarean sections, increased risk of preterm deliveries and perinatal mortality.

These are simply facts, and should not be taken as an indictment of, or editorial against, older women becoming pregnant and giving birth.

In fact, older women enjoy certain advantages over their younger counterparts in coping with the stresses and risks associated with childbirth.

Older OB patients are more likely to be well prepared for the experience of pregnancy and childbirth, including all possible outcomes. They are often better informed, financially stable, partnered, and generally wiser about life. This allows them to better deal with the increased risks of later pregnancy, and cope with poor or difficult results when necessary.

Whereas younger patients tend to react to circumstances as they arise, older patients use their knowledge and preparation—in conjunction with their doctor’s guidance—to create and follow a plan for their pregnancy. An older patient’s birthing plan usually includes pain management and informed options for dealing with various contingencies.

Perhaps the greatest advantage that older patients hold over younger mothers-to-be is resiliency. The kind of strength and wisdom unique to mature women is of necessity called upon to prepare, plan, and cope with the added risks of later pregnancy.

For this reason, more older women are experiencing successful pregnancies and the fulfillment they can bring at a vital stage of life.

Notes for this blog:

DR. BILL CHUN. Over the past 25 years, Dr Bill Chun has been a practicing OBGYN most recently in a private practice setting in Lawrence, MA.

Dr. Chun’s role as a physician, advisor, coach and caregiver to women has given him unique insight into the challenges women face as they transition into middle age. His career as a physician and his interactions with his patients has driven him to create the Haja for Life social network, an online community designed to harness the power of collaboration to improve the wellness of women over 40.

As founder and Chairman of the Board, Dr Chun oversees the Board of Directors and Technical Advisory Board to ensure the proper governance of the company and to provide the vision for the many online tools, content and programs that members can access free of charge.

Dr. Chun is a graduate of Ohio State University of Medicine and a member of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology.

It’s a widely held belief that getting pregnant when you’re older is harder.

However, it’s not necessarily so and there’s a lot you can do improve your chances of conceiving naturally. Key factors are diet, lifestyle, stress and mind-set. The food we eat and the thoughts we think directly affect how healthy and fertile we are.

First of all – and this may seem like a no-brainer – to get pregnant the ‘old fashioned way’ you need to be having plenty of sex. Vaginal fluid gets stretchy and transparent, a bit like raw egg white, shortly before ovulation occurs. This is the ideal environment for sperm to survive and swim forwards in. If your periods are weak or irregular try complimentary therapy such as acupuncture, reflexology, fertility massage or herbs (Agnus Cactus or Dong Quai) to help regulate the hormones and get blood flowing.

Then it’s a good idea to look at you and your partner’s diet. Processed food, white flour, fizzy drinks, alcohol, too much non-organic meat, sugar and dairy, especially low-fat dairy are no good for baby-making. All these products produce over-acidity in the body, upsetting its natural alkaline state and the fine hormonal balance needed for healthy conception.

The latest research even shows that the right diet can influence egg quality to avoid miscarriage and Down syndrome because it’s so important how the cells are nourished during fertilisation. Too many toxins will affect both egg and sperm and impair healthy cell division. You should abstain from stimulants such as coffee, alcohol and cigarettes, as they’ve been clearly linked to lower conception rates. Also try to avoid pesticides, environmental toxins, synthetic hormones and water additives.

To highlight these points there are some interesting studies conducted on fertility in the UK. A preconception care programme involving improvements to diet and lifestyle, enabled 89% of couples to give birth, including 81% of those who had suffered infertility for up to ten years. There were no miscarriages in the first test group and less than 3% in the 2nd. Most of the participants in the study were over 33, many were over 40 and some even over 50.

A good detox at least 3 months before you start trying to get pregnant is highly advisable. A week or two of juice fasting is effective but simply eating lots of organic fruit and vegetables and cutting out junk food will help cleanse the body. Make sure you eat lots of live foods (as opposed to processed food) that are nutrient-dense, rich in essential fatty acids and anti-oxidants.

It’s important to get plenty of B vitamins, vitamins A, C and E, folic acid, calcium, iron, magnesium, selenium and zinc. Zinc is vital for men because it’s a mineral found in very high concentrations in sperm.

It’s also important to stay well hydrated and breathe deeply – especially into the sacral area. Breathing in plenty of fresh air will flood the cells with oxygenated blood. Go for walks in nature and practice some low-impact exercise like yoga, tai chi and qi gong. Natural light is also necessary for healthy conception. New studies link lack of vitamin D to infertility in men.

Stress can be a major factor to inhibit pregnancy – especially if getting pregnant has become an obsession. The hormones released by stress, adrenalin and cortisol, are detrimental because they upset the reproductive hormones. There are various ways to combat stress and subconscious anxiety. Try relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation and hypnotherapy.

We’re finally beginning to understand the profound effects belief has on our system. Our health is to a fair extent determined by our thoughts and emotions. By believing you can and will get pregnant when the time is right and trusting this belief means you’re more likely to manifest a pregnancy. And don’t forget the spiritual aspect of bringing a child into the world. Let the love flow and believe in miracles.

Notes for this blog:
Claudia Spahr is a journalist, author and speaker on women’s health who gave birth to her two children after 40. She is the author of Right Time Baby – The Complete Guide to Later Motherhood, published by Hay House UK. www.claudiaspahr.com.

Here’s a link to the Foresight studies:

http://www.foresight-preconception.org.uk/research/research-figues-2002-2009.aspx

“Your forties is not a time to be thinking about getting pregnant,” she is quoted as saying.

The article states she has no desire to be the “poster girl for older mothers,” and on motherhood after forty, she revealed “it is not a good idea.”

Whether intentionally or not, the Desperate Housewives star—who began fertility treatments at 44 and later gave birth to twins—has added fuel to the recent negative public backlash against later life mothers.

For women in their forties who—much like Cross herself once did—“desperately” pine to become mothers, her comments can only further enhance fears and insecurities over their own ability to be mothers.

Ironically, less than a week after this article appeared, the Mail penned another, featuring the latest American study demonstrating that women getting pregnant over 50 using donor eggs face no greater risk than women under 42 who conceive the same way.

Women from both age groups were found to have the same likelihood of developing gestational diabetes, or premature labor.

According to work by Dr. Mark Sauer from the University of Columbia Medical School, the women over fifty “do pretty well.”  This study was published in the February 2012 issue of the American Journal of Perinatology, and is the largest so far on pregnancy in post-menopausal women.

Interestingly, Dr. Sauer’s findings fall in with two previous U.S. studies on older mothers. A 2007 University of California study found that women having children after the age of 50 can cope with the stress of parenting just as effectively as younger mothers in their 30’s.

Earlier, a 2002 study published in The Journal of the American Medical Association concluded: “there does not appear to be any definitive medical reason for excluding [healthy women in their 50s] from attempting pregnancy on the basis of age alone.”

Forgive my spelling, but you can almost hear Jan Brady whispering between the lines…Marsha, Marsha, Marsha…there’s more to later motherhood than desperation.

Notes for this blog:

Links to UK Daily Mail features:

Marcia Cross: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2093948/Your-forties-time-thinking-getting-pregnant-Marcia-Cross-doesnt-want-poster-girl-older-mothers.html#ixzz1ljwFnTN3

Dr. Sauer’s Study: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2096285/Pregnancy-IVF-patients-age-50-carries-risk-women-42.html

If Goldilocks were trying to conceive she would have asked the question, “Is my timing to early, to late, or just right.” Depending where you are in your personal life and in your reproductive life, timing and perspective for those 3 issues may be very well aligned are totally out of sync.

On the one hand, when you look at the tabloids and the magazines in the checkout line of the grocery store, it seems like anybody can get pregnant at just about any age. There’s just no end to conception. The truth is, there is likely never a perfect time to have a baby. You may be single, building your career, are just waiting for the financial circumstances to become more favorable. However, as women consider the timing of when to start a family, age plays one of the most important variables that factors in to the ultimate success of family building.

Let’s start with the facts. A study published in the journal human reproduction showed that female fertility starts to fall off gradually around age 27. By age 35 and beyond, women who want to become parents may have to wait even longer before coming parents. The researchers found that women between the ages of 19 and 26 with partners who were similar in age, had approximately a 50% chance of becoming pregnant during any one menstrual cycle if they had intercourse 2 days before they ovulated.

For women aged 27 to 34, the chance was 40%, and for women over the age of 35 the probability dropped to 30%. At age 40 the chances for conception in a single month drop to 5% and after age 42 they are even lower. In a study that I published looking at women who were trying to get pregnant who had no fertility problems but were using donor insemination to conceive, about 60% of the women got pregnant within 4 months, about 75% of the women were pregnant within 6 months, and about 95% of the women got pregnant within 12 months. This means that even if you don’t have any fertility problems, it can take up to one year to conceive.

Here are some things you can do to improve your chances for conception at any age.

1) Eat a healthy diet.

2) Don’t smoke.

3) Take a multivitamin daily

4) Exercise regularly

5) Avoid excessive drinking or taking any street drugs

6) Make an effort to control your level of stress through exercise, yoga, meditation, prayer or whatever works for you.

7) Have intercourse about twice per week.

Here are 3 tips on when to see a fertility doctor.

1)   If you are 30 to 34 years of age and don’t get pregnant within 9 months

2)   If you are 35-37 years of age or older and you do not get pregnant within 6 months,

3)   If you are 38 years of age or older and thinking of starting a family, see a fertility doctor at that time and don’t wait. Time is the most important commodity in having a baby as a woman ages beyond 35.

This isn’t to say that many women won’t be successful starting their families as they age. It’s just important to realize that making the baby takes time. To see a short cartoon video called Making a Baby Takes Time, click here.

Notes for this blog:

Machelle (Mache) Seibel, MD, a pioneer in many areas of women’s health and a member of the Harvard Medical School faculty for 19 years, treats women in perimenopause and menopause with gynecologic disorders interfering with mental health and/or sexual function and creates award-winning educational content for women (http://www.HealthRock.com). (http://www.DoctorSeibel.com)

Dr. Seibel is also noted for working with companies and organizations to help them reach, teach and motivate their audience to stay well with award-winning health educational content through his ground-breaking interactive product, “HealthRock®.”

A growing number of women are seeking to get pregnant after 40 and—for many—this means taking the path of finding a suitable egg donor.

There are many reasons for delayed motherhood. Some of us wait for Mr. or Mrs. Right.  Some of us never find him or her or, when we do find them, it is later on in life.

Some have put off having children until we feel secure financially, emotionally, spiritually, or are where we need to be in our respective careers.

Ultimately, this means that many of us are over 40 when we decide to begin a family.  It also means that our bodies may not cooperate as we had hoped or intended, which is frustrating and often painful for would-be mothers.

The good news – Just because our eggs may no longer be viable due to age or illness doesn’t mean the door is closed regarding pregnancy.  Technology through Advanced Reproductive Technology (ART) Donor Egg cycles are happening all over the globe and more and more women over 40 are pregnant and having children often for the first time.

You may be asking yourself: “I need an egg donor, now what?” Let’s start with the basics.

• Find a great therapist that is experienced in infertility and loss. “Your doctor tells you that you need an egg donor.” First of all, take a deep breath. This is bound to be one of the biggest decisions you are going to make in your life, and it can feel very overwhelming. Give yourself time to wrap your mind around egg donation, what it means, and the steps it will take to complete an egg donor cycle from start to finish. It is normal to be sad about losing our genetic link to our future child. For some women, it can be a lengthy grieving process. Give yourself time to grieve this loss. Sometimes seeing a counselor a therapist can help sort through complicated feelings.

• Do your homework and understand clinic statistics. One great resource is SART(www.sart.org). So what the heck are these success rates, anyway? Clinics performing fertility treatments are required by law to send statistical information each year to SART (Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology) and the CDC (Center for Disease Control), who then compile that information into reports that are released to the general public. The reports contain percentage-based success (pregnancy) rates regarding in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycles and IVF with donor egg cycles at every clinic. SART releases a report each year, whereas the CDC releases their report every other year in order to record a live birth rate (as opposed to a clinical pregnancy rate). Becoming familiar with SART and CDC statistics is instrumental to choosing a treatment program. Parents Via Egg Donation has compiled a list a questions for you to ask your clinic when interviewing clinics for your specific situation.

• Do your homework before you select an egg donor agency. Egg donor agencies come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some are very large and well established, while others are small and new to the egg donor industry. Regardless of what egg donor agency you end up selecting, you need to be educated, savvy, and informed.  Above all, egg donor agencies are service providers, meaning you are in the driver’s seat. Parents Via Egg Donation has put together the following questions before you commit to any egg donor agency.

• Do your homework before you select an egg donor. The most important aspect to remember regarding donor selection is simple: “The baby you are meant to have is the baby you are meant to have.”  No matter which egg donor you select, a DE (donor egg) child will be one you and your partner (if you should have one) create and give life to. Parents Via Egg Donation has put together a comprehensive article regarding donor selection, what it means to be anonymous, semi known, or known during the egg donation process.  Most importantly, do your homework, research, ask questions, and if something doesn’t sit well, listen to your gut. Don’t be led to believe that if you pay a top price for an egg donor, you will get a premium donor.

• How much is all of this going to cost? That’s a complicated question with many layers.  Not many women have insurance that covers infertility or anything remotely to do with donor egg IVF cycles.  The cost can be anywhere from co-pay’s and donor compensation to upwards of $50-60k  depending on what treatment center you select and if you have to travel to the facility of your choice. There are also legal fees to be added to the mix – a contract between the intended parent and the egg donor.  Get it all in writing so there are no hidden costs and no surprises.

• Where can I get support? Thankfully the internet is interconnected and full of resources and I will list a few off the top of my head:   Flower Power Mom has a great forum for support, IVF Connections has a forum and because I am biased Parents Via Egg Donation I feel offer the most complete list of resources and support regarding all things egg donation and surrogacy. PVED offers a private forum where thousands of other women are embarking upon the same journey.

Notes for this blog:

About Marna Gatlin, Founder and CEO of PVED

After many years of struggling with infertility, PVED founder, Marna Gatlin, discovered that the technology to have a child through egg donation was available. She was curious, excited, and above all, hopeful that this process might be the conduit to finally achieving her lifelong dream of becoming a parent.

Marna ensures that all the needs of egg donor recipients are met, maintaining a high standard of ethics and confidentiality. Marna advocates and assists recipient parents helping them arrange for the highest quality patient care, wherever in the world they reside. Her experience and knowledge related to the complex emotional and physical needs of individuals dealing with infertility makes her an essential asset PVED.

As a previous recipient, Marna is uniquely qualified to provide caring and timely services. Marna is truly dedicated to compassionately guiding couples experiencing infertility through their treatment process.

Marna is joined by several dedicated and knowledgeable support staff that all work together clearly dedicated to see the success of PVED. These include clinical psychologists, reproductive endocrinologists, attorneys, as well as a talented business and public relations team.

Marna attended Eastern Oregon University and Portland State University majoring in Business, Psychology, Social Science, and is a member of the American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM), the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE) and the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART). Marna a writer, is married, has a son, and does some of her best thinking and creating atop of her John Deere tractor mowing and cultivating her back forty.

Growing interest has been international–FPM has been contacted by publications and television programs in the U.S., as well as Canada, the UK, Europe and even China who are scrambling to cover this subject. On our home turf, Dr. Oz, Anderson Cooper, and AARP have all filmed shows. I can assure you, a bouquet of documentaries is also on its way.

It would be safe to say that Lisa Miller’s controversial piece in New York Magazine in 2011 did much to fan the embers of existing media fascination into flames, albeit, not always with the most supportive editorial outcome. But at least the dialogue has begun.

Since  2008, I’ve lived, breathed and dined out on the subject of later life motherhood. In that time, I’ve connected with some incredibly knowledgeable and accomplished experts in fields from fertility, pregnancy and birth, to parenting, menopause, aging, social issues.

Over February, I’m inviting many of these experts to share the fruits of their wisdom and help us to enhance the quality of our lives in respect of all aspects of later life motherhood.

Please feel welcome to share your point of view, debate or ask questions in the Comments section of each blog post. If you’d like to be a Guest blogger, or recommend an expert, please contact us at: editor at flowerpowermom dot com.

Angel La Liberte is the founder of the website Flower Power Mom.com—The Truth About Motherhood After 40 (www.flowerpowermom.com), a regular blog featuring commentary, real mom stories and expert advice about motherhood after 40. She regularly campaigns for more supportive attitudes towards women having children in midlife and more awareness on the realities (social and physical) of being a later life mother.

Angel also hosts “A Child After 40”, an online community to empower all women on the journey of motherhood after 40. She gave birth to her children at 41 and 44 after conceiving naturally.

Notes for this blog:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW0Swjx6gFU

Lynn Laszewski—from our “A Child After 40” online community—who had her son at 51, kicks off the program with her story. After Laszewski, I was interviewed on controversial social issues, including maternal ageism, and the rising need for FPM’s continued advocacy for later life mothers. To watch the video, click here. Click here for info on A Child After 40.

We were followed by a debate between Elizabeth Gregory, Director of the Women’s Studies Program at the University of Houston, and author of Ready: Why Women Are Embracing the New Later Motherhood and Bonnie Steinbock, professor and medical ethicist at the University of Albany.

An over-40 mom herself, Gregory came out in support, quoting figures on the rise of later motherhood—in the 1970’s, 1 in 100 women gave birth over 35, compared to today’s figure of 1 in12. She focused on the amount of preparation later mothers tend to put into child bearing.

Steinbock voiced serious doubts about long-term health and ability to cope with teens. She had several key concerns, and one of the most significant was the use of reproductive technology by fertility doctors to aid menopausal women in becoming mothers.

Steinbock advocated for informed decision-making between parents and doctors. However, she also mentioned Carmen Bousada de Lara as the oldest mother on record–information which is now dated. (For more on “world’s oldest mothers”, see “Elephant Mom”.)

Steinbock’s talk on the gender-based double standard for parental age would have been better supported with a mention of the health risks faced by children who come from older men’s sperm.  This would have further emphasized the irrational foundation for the maternal age bias. (Click here for “Legislating Larry”, a blog on medical research, and “Our Dirty Double Standard” on Dr. Oz.)

“Menopausal motherhood”—meaning women who have reached menopause and still wish to become mothers—is today’s hotbed of debate and is likely to continue in a snarl of ethical as well as moral issues. Yet, some experts argue that menopause is “evolutionary relic” and outdated in modern childbearing. This is covered in more detail in “Do You Look This Old at 50?” and in Lisa Miller’s now notorious New York Magazine piece.

According to Laszewski, who was disappointed by the negativity against later mothers in the recent debate on Dr. Oz, the Inside E-Street program was a step in the right direction.

“I was very pleased to see that Lark and the two professors did a nice job of presenting the issue rationally and realistically”, she says.

“All in all, I think it is the first rational explanation I’ve seen of the issue”, concluded Laszewski.

Notes for this blog:

AARP’s Inside E-Street program, aired on PBS: http://www.aarp.org/health/conditions-treatments/info-01-2012/babies-after-age-50-inside-estreet.html

FlowerPowerMom.com was invited to write web content in support of this show, and I focused on deeply rooted cultural issues that have a negative, or even hostile, impact on midlife mothers and need more exposure: “Why Are We Against Later Motherhood?”.

While the program focused on important fertility facts—and highlighted a growing awareness of the need to educate women on the truth about how much fertility declines with age—there’s still a significant need to deal with issues hiding in plain site. We seem reluctant to explore our deeper emotional reactions to older women becoming mothers.

Recent developments in oocyte cryopreservation are providing the first opportunity for young women to freeze their unfertilized eggs at peak fertility. Given our growing longevity, by our daughter’s generation, the whole medical issue of maternal age may be moot.

The real hotbed of issues regarding later motherhood will be a social one. To read more, please go direct to my article on Dr. Oz’s website. For details on the program, click here.

Notes for this blog:

Dr. Oz Show: When Are You Too Old To Have A Baby?

http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/when-are-you-too-old-have-baby

Angel LaLiberte for Dr. Oz: Why Are We Against Later Motherhood?

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/why-are-we-against-later-motherhood

Angel LaLiberte for Dr. Oz: The Pros And Cons of Later Life Motherhood

http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/pros-and-cons-later-life-motherhood

About Angel LaLiberte

Angel La Liberte is the founder of the website Flower Power Mom.com—The Truth About Motherhood After 40(www.flowerpowermom.com), featuring commentary, real mom stories and expert advice about motherhood after 40. She actively advocates for more supportive attitudes towards women having children in midlife and to raise awareness of the real issues related to later life motherhood.

Angel also hosts “A Child After 40”, an online community to empower all women on the journey of motherhood after 40. To join, go to: http://flowerpowermom.com/a-child-after-40-online/

Angel gave birth to her children at 41 and 44 after conceiving naturally. For her full story, go to:http://flowerpowermom.com/my-story/

According to a new book—Eat To Defeat Menopause—The Essential Nutrition Guide for a Healthy Midlife, by Karen Gilbin and Mache Seibel, MD—the onset of “the change” can feel like “a raging case of PMS.”

I have to admit, the message struck home when I read: “Your hormones act as though you’re going through puberty, only backward.” (Click here for link.)

It never occurred to me that I’d be having tomato-faced hot flashes by the time my daughter was in first grade.

In fact, have your kids anytime after 40 and you could be dancing the Virginia Reel with the red devil by the time Junior is out of pull-ups.

How can you handle the heat in the hormone kitchen, especially on those occasions your kids are performing the preschool rendition of Apocalypse Now?

According to co-author Dr. Mache Seibel—director of the Complicated Menopause Program at the University of Massachusetts Medical School—the cure is culinary.

“Food can play a key role in a woman’s midlife transition,” says Dr. Seibel.

“Our food choices have a major affect on weight and where we carry it, sleep quality, digestion, mood and in symptoms such as hot flashes.”

Although Dr. Seibel admits that women may need further treatment than changes in eating habits, a “menopause-friendly diet” will make other treatments more effective.

Ironically, many of the do’s and don’ts he recommends very closely resemble diets known to enhance a women’s fertility.

Avoid caffeine and limit alcohol—those, along with spicy foods, can trigger hot flashes. Foods that contain plant estrogens or phytoestrogens such as soy and flaxseed can help reduce them.

Complex carbs like whole grains can increase the release of tryptophan, an amino acid that helps the brain manufacture serotonin—the same hormone that many antidepressants increase.

If you’re a later life, new mom and breast-feeding, Dr. Seibel says that what you eat is just as important—foods rich in calcium, healthy fats—like monounsaturates found in olive oil, omega 3’s, or walnuts are the prescription.

Eating protein, fiber and iron are also important, as well as whole grains, lean meats, and dairy.

Easy shortcuts that tempt stressed out midlife mothers such as fast food, processed sugars or quick processed meals tend to decrease overall health and lead to obesity—a risk in midlife women.

Karen Gilbin—co-author and founder of Red Hot Mamas, the largest menopause education and management program in North America—is passionate about getting the diet message across to later life women.

“In my mother’s generation, menopause was one of those forbidden topics,” she says.

“Having been thrust into early menopause at 40, I needed to personally work on developing a comprehensive management plan that would address healthier alternatives like good nutrition.”

Gilbin began looking for clues as to what she might be doing to stimulate challenging menopausal symptoms—eating habits seemed an obvious choice.

“I didn’t want to be at the mercy of doctors who would give me medications to quell my symptoms,” she adds.

As she began to address her menopausal symptoms through diet, the seed of a culinary revolution was planted.

“Over the last twenty years—through our Red Hot Mamas Menopause Education Programs—I’ve heard many women’s stories of debilitating physical and emotional experiences.”

“I was driven to write this book because I feel that good dietary habits are a prescription for beginning a health life at menopause.”

Packed with recipes from chefs around the world, it’s hard to believe that Eat To Defeat Menopause could even vaguely resemble a “prescription.”

From “Wild Blueberry Granola French Toast” to “Lobster and Duck Chow Mein”—I’ll be mood-swinging with my fork on over to dinner.

Now, if the book only came with a babysitter, I’d be set up for the evening.

Notes for this blog:

Karen Gilbin is the founder of Red Hot Mamas, the largest menopause education and management program in the United States and Canada. www.redhotmamas.org.

Mache Seibel, MD, is the director of the Complicated Menopause Program at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and is the founder of HealthRock, a health education program that uses music to make learning a fun experience.

www.DoctorSeibel.com

www.HealthRock.com

Eat To Defeat Menopause—The Essential Nutrition Guide for a Healthy Midlife, by Karen Gilbin and Mache Seibel, MD is available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Eat-Defeat-Menopause-Essential-Midlife/dp/0738215090