.

Condom size...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:01:00 +0000

Oriental Daily reported that a youth, who asked a salesgirl for help to buy condoms at a convenience shop, dropped his pants and flashed his private parts at her.

The 17-year-old had gone to the counter and told the salesgirl he wanted to buy condoms at the shop in Kajang on Friday night.

When the salesgirl asked him the size, he dropped his pants and told her that was the size he wanted.

17 reasons why pirated DVDs/BluRays are better...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 04:50:00 +0000

My sausage is bigger than yours!

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 02:14:00 +0000

Apple and HTC might each be trying to patent a fancy capacitive stylus, but it looks like the good people of South Korea have stumbled on a decidedly more low-tech (and delicious) solution to using their phones in the winter: sausages. Apparently snack sausages from the CJ Corporation are electrostatically compatible with the iPhone's capacitive touchscreen, leading many to use them as a "meat stylus" in the cold weather, rather than remove a glove. And it's not just a joke; apparently South Korean snack sausage sales are soaring.

Drink beer...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 07:11:00 +0000

When accountants marry each other...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:22:00 +0000

MCH..cheap buffet wedding dinner at kl hotel, no wine, no alcohol, no babi, no fins, invitation card also reluctant to print (send invitation by fax / inner content only).

By knowing the hotel angpow rate is no less than Rm100/per pax.

AIDS $2.50 each

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:15:00 +0000

Stay behind the line or get sucketh!

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:14:00 +0000

Ladies, dont wear any panties if you love your partner...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:51:00 +0000

SHAH ALAM: Female students in higher-learning institutes here are being persuaded not to wear panties on Valentine’s Day as an expression of true love for their boyfriends.

The “no-panties promotion”, being held for the first time, has apparently been gaining interest among the students, who are passing the news by word-of-mouth.

Two students in their 20s from Shah Alam, known only as Ummi and Melissa, said they were aware of the “promotion.”

“I feel it is personal,” said Ummi with a smile.

“Valentine’s Day is a good time to express one’s love. And, what we use or don’t use is our right, our freedom. But we will do what is right. It’s a new world now.”

Melissa claimed that there was already a large group who planned to go ahead with it.

“We will know how many by Valentine’s evening.”

State Islamic Affairs Department (Jais) director Datuk Mohammed Khusrin Munawi said:

“We will not allow Muslim students to be taken in by such celebrations that deviate from the teachings of Islam.”

We service air conds and...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 10:33:00 +0000

I went tot his arcade game shop...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:55:00 +0000

and put a bet on the gambling machine and won quite a lot.
decided to belanja the malay guy that jaga the shop a can of coke while i bought myself a can of beer.
Kena tiu by him for not buying him a can of beer.
I jokingly said that i saw him bring his gf in just now and sure he want to kongkek tonight so cannot give him beer, too mabuk cannot fcuk.
So he went in the room behind and later call me to go over and went in the room with him.
His gf was asleep at that time, and slowly he lift up the blanket up.and asked me, "puki macam ini you nak kongkek ke?"
i saw his gf sleeping terkangkang, wearing mini skirt without panty and saw her dark unkept bushy pussy.. worst.. i also saw like there small bit and peices of toilet paper stuck on her pussy hair.. really make me wanna puke.
after that i went out and buy myself another can of beer and also bought one for him too.

An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian Chinese are in a bar..

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 09:48:00 +0000

one night having a beer. The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

He brags, "In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi is obviously impressed. When he finished his beer, he throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says, "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Malaysian, cool as a cucumber, finishes his drink, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the Indonesian & the Bangladeshi.

He says "Tiu Nia Ma! In KL we have so many Indons and Banglas that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

Smart pussies

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:45:00 +0000

Timeline of Men's Sexual Encounters

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 05:27:00 +0000

The best job in the world for men...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 11:09:00 +0000

Men with big hands..

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 07:06:00 +0000

Man Makes False Robbery Report To Skip Wedding

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 13:43:00 +0000

JOHOR BAHARU, Jan 18 (Bernama) -- Terrified of tying the knot, a technician spun a yarn to his future father-in-law that he was robbed of RM6,000 which he had saved for the wedding.

The 27-year-old man related the 'robbery' to his would-be in-law when the latter wanted the wedding date to be brought forward.

To make his claim authentic, the reluctant groom lodged a police report that two knife-weilding robbers took the money after he had withdrawn it from an automated teller machine in Kulaijaya on Sunday.

However, the police were not convinced.

They questioned the technician who eventually admitted having made up the story of the robbery as he did not want to get married.

Now, the technician is in a bigger soup.

He may be jailed for six months or fined RM2,000, or both, upon conviction under Section 177 of the Penal Code for making false report.

District police chief Supt Zulkefly Yahya said: "We knew he was lying when some of his facts did not tally.

"When we asked him further, he confessed that he made a false report to escape from being married next month," he said here Monday.

Zulkefly said the wedding date was fixed in July but the future father-in-law demanded the marriage be held next month.

"The groom-to-be did not have enough funds to proceed with the wedding and thus, made a false police report to cover his lie," he said, adding that the police found the money which was 'robbed', at the suspect's house.

Fill My Cups in Singapore

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 04:38:00 +0000

A NIGHTCLUB in Singapore is offering free drinks to women according to the cup size of their bra, reports China Press.

The OverEasy nightclub came out with the idea to attract customers by organising the event themed “Fill My Cups.”

It is said that those with A cup would get one free drink while those with B cup would get two glasses.

Those who wore C cup would receive three drinks.

Women with D cup would be given a bottle of alcoholic drink worth S$168 (RM408).

The daily said the “special offer” has drawn mixed reactions with some seeing it as a creative marketing gimmick while others felt offended and said they would not support such an event.

Does your eyes deceive you?

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 12:49:00 +0000

A dental clinic somewhere in Malaysia...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 11:54:00 +0000

Famous car vandal got apprehended and charged in court

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 03:07:00 +0000

The Five answers men have waited for...

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 10:18:00 +0000

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?

A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?

A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?

A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

Look before you poke

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 04:40:00 +0000

A British man got his penis stuck so firmly in a steel pipe it had to be cut free with a metal grinder.

The man, aged in his 40s, waited nervously for 30 minutes as seven firefighters help cut him free from the pipe in Southampton on Tuesday, The Sun newspaper reports.

Earlier attempts to free the man failed because the pipe had restricted his blood flow and left him in a state of arousal, a spokesman for the Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service said.

"It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting,” he was quoted as saying.

"It's certainly an unusual call-out and I'm sure the man won't be getting into that situation again."

The man was taken to Southampton General Hospital with bruising and swelling but was otherwise fine.

He did not say how he became stuck in the pipe.

2009 Darwin Awards

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 06:10:00 +0000

Unfortunately, the 30-year-old had not realized he was on a bridge and fell 65ft (19.8m) to his death.

Award organisers said the accident proved you should "look before you leak".

Police revealed Mr Motero had been drinking at a bar in Pompano Beach before his tragic death, adding: 'He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't.'

The first woman to be nominated for the award came in at third place.

Rosanne Tippett drove her moped through a police road block - straight into a flooded river.

TWO bank robbers who blew themselves up trying to make a sizable withdrawal from an ATM have been declared the 2009 winners of the Darwin Awards - while the first woman to be nominated came in third.

Organisers say the annual "prize" is given to "those doing the most to improve the human gene pool ... by removing themselves from it".

This year the dubious first place went to the pair of bungling thieves in Belgium who wildly overestimated the amount of dynamite they needed to rob a bank.

They both were killed when the blast demolished the entire building the ATM was housed in.

Police only found the body of the second robber some twelve hours after digging through the debris. They had initially assumed he had made a getaway.

The bankrobbers just edged ahead of Florida man Shawn Motero, who was stuck in a traffic jam when nature called.

He got out of his car and jumped over a concrete wall to find a more secluded spot.

After being rescued by police she jumped back into the water to rescue her vehicle - and drowned.

Before embarking on her final journey the 50-year-old had phoned her mother and told her: "My moped has two rubber wheels, Mom, I'll be fine."

Her mum later admitted: "She loved that thing."

Other nominees for the 2009 awards included an armed robber who used gold spray paint to disguise his face as he raided a convenience store.

The paint released toxic fumes and Thomas James, from South Carolina, collapsed and died shortly after the robbery.

To add insult to injury, the disguise didn't work - with witnesses having no problem identifying the 23-year-old.

Dont mess with Monkey

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 06:08:00 +0000

THIS Chinese monkey trainer was floored when a group of his apprentices turned on him in a vicious revenge attack.

Entertainer Lo Wung, 42, taught the group of monkeys some basic taekwondo moves to entertain shopping centre crowds.

But when Wung took a tumble one of his pack turned and decked him with a kung-fu kick to the head.

The turncoat gang then swarmed all over their master — with one even grabbing his stick and cracking him over the head with it.

Hu Luang, 32, who snapped the pictures in Nshi, in eastern China's Hubei province, said: "I saw one punch him in the eye - he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose.

"They were leaping and jumping all over the place - it was better than a Bruce Lee film."

Wung only managed to get the monkeys under control by tangling them up in the rope that had been used to stop them running off.

Mr Luang said: "He was really furious, he made the monkeys kneel on the ground with their hands tied behind their backs to punish them and make them show remorse for their nasty attack.

Another man falls to the temptation of Nasi Lemaks..

noreply@blogger.com (louyeh) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 05:45:00 +0000

A DOCTOR jailed for sucking the breasts of a mum-to-be has told of his "regret and remorse" in a letter from his prison cell in London.

Michael St John, 59, who is also convicted of intimately groping the patient, aged 28, pleaded with the General Medical Council to let him continue his 30-year career when he is released from jail.

St John sexually assaulted the Muslim woman, who was seven months pregnant, after telling her to remove her hijab at Stepney Health Centre in East London.

A London court heard St John sucked her breasts "like a baby".

Nimi Bruce, for the Council, said: "It is difficult to imagine a more heinous breach of trust."

The hearing continues.