Fly Slip-Looking for lost balls...

Ricky Ponting is Sarah Palin in disguise

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:42:00 +0000

Palin didn’t know Africa was a continent.

Ponting dint know a test was on the line.

Palin continuously went ‘rogue’ on the McCain campaign

Ponting continuously goes ‘rogue’ on his team.

Palin likes to spend money.

Ponting likes to save money.

Palin comes from a state with 3 electoral votes that no body cares about.

Ponting comes from a state that no body in Australian care about. (In fact he’s only in because of the Tassie Quota)

There were reports that McCain wanted to ‘bump off’ Palin.

There are reports that certain Australian cricket bloggers want to ‘off’ Ponting.

Sarah was slow on the uptake.

Ricky is slow with the over rates.

Palin was featured in Porno. True Story. (Try Nalin Palin on Google).

Ponting was not. (For which we are forever grateful to the Porn Industry).

Palin was a Maverick.

Ricky Ponting is, well Ricky Ponting.

Some say Ricky has fits of retardedness on the field.

Sarah Palin IS clinically retarded.

These are the bare facts. Make of it what you will.
Brought to you by the FlySlip, hatching conspiracies where there are none.

Another day at SLC Junior High...

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 01:58:00 +0000

Yesterday at around noon, Mahela and Kumar Sagakkara become victims of another vicious attack by the play ground bullies. The bullies threw their toys on the floor and chucked their lunches into the sandbox.

Mahela and Kumar had been so looking forward to their chicken sandwiches but had to go home in tears.

When the PTA meeting was called to find out why these two are being bullied so much, Mahelas rich dad and mommy showed up in raging anger.

They asked the rest of the parents "Why are you abusing our son ? Just because he is the captain of the cricket team it does not mean you can bully him like this.

He is a very sensitive boy and his feelings have been deeply hurt."

When a heckler made a comment about the size of Mahelas eyebrows, Mahela started weeping and cried out for his mother.

At this point, Kumar's father stepped in "Listen here, I am Kumars father and I am a very important man and I know more big words than Kumar, so you will listen to what I say.

Our boys just want to play cricket for their country in a peaceful manner. Why are you sending them bouncer after bouncer like this. It is wrong..". As his voice got groggy and eyes started to well up, his wife put a loving arm around him and his son and asked who ever it was to own up.

It was then that Rex's dad stood up.

"Ok fine, it was my son. But you know why no body likes your son?

You say he is the captain of our team but we found out he has been secretly playing for the team across the road"

"Has he no sense of loyalty or does he only care about maximising his profit making opportunities". said Rex's dad.

"My son bullied your son and I'm proud of it.". Rex stood up at this point, beaming.

The rest of the parents yelled "Amen to that !!".

Kumar and Mahela clung to each other, sobbing uncontrollably, snot and drool wetting their tight fitted t-shirts.

"Please just leave us alone...we just want to play cricket....sob...we only wanted to make some money...is that so wrong..sob..sob...".

"It was Arjuna who told us we could play for the other team".

It was then that, Jabba the hut, Arjuna's dad, said "My son said no such thing ! How dare you little rich rascals accuse my son !"

Someone throws a chair at Jabba the hut, which bounces off his belly and hits Rex square in the face. Who throws a rotten tomato at Kumar and Mahela.

A fight break out...

Thus ends another day at SLC Junior High.

A Canadian leads the Aussies, Tyron Henderson and the weird shindig in HongKong

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 02:34:00 +0000

Since there is absolutely nothing to report on the Sri Lankans of late lets have a look at whats happening in Hong Kong.

Its that time of the year again, teams of 6, 5 overs per team. YES Its the Hongkong Sixes BABY!

Oooo the excitement !! Settle down !!

Actually the Lankan lads are the defending champions. We managed to beat the All starts last year led by Warney.

This year the All stars look a little something like this

Stephen Fleming (Captain)

Shiv Chanderpaul

Tyron Henderson

Mathew Hoggard

Sanath Jayasariya

Justin Langer

Chaminda Vass

I know what your thinking. Justin Langer ? In a 6s team ?

And who in the hell is Tyron Henderson ?

Don't you need to have played some sort of international cricket to qualify for this. It seems like who ever picked this team just closed their eyes and picked some names out of a hat.

You know what we say to that. We say Boo!

Bring back Warney or Lara I say. Hell even Mick Lewis woulda been cool.

And whats this, a Canadian is leading the Aussies ? Only in 6s cricket !

You gotta love it.

For more weird team news go here

Australia v India, 4th Test Preview

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:00:00 +0000

And so the series that promised so much, yet delivered so little comes to an end.

So far the series has been like an old engine that refuses to start, its made some funny noises, promised to kick start but just dies on you in the end.

We now head to Nagpur, the equation is simple. Australia need to win to retain the trophy and India need at least a draw to wrest it back from the Aussies.

Australia
Who would have thought that after this performance by Jason Kreza, he would have ever been contention for test debut.

But he is. Which goes to show the trouble the Aussies are having in finding a spinner or rather any bowler who can help them get 20 wickets.

The Aussies have a belief that Indians play off spin worse than leg spin. It may be based on the legendary Splendid Mendis's heroics in Sri Lanka but it would quite the push to claim that Krejza can kick it up Mendis style

Batting- Strong
As the series has gone on the Aussie batters have stepped up to the mark. Barring the 2nd test flop, the top order have been in the runs. More is expected and with Haydens return to form things are looking peachy.

Bowling- Can they get 20 wickets?
Its a good question. Australia have only collected 37 of the 60 wickets on offer in the first 3 tests. The lack of variation in the bowling was telling in Delhi. Micheal Clarke and Simon Katich offer some respite for the fast men but they have proved to be quite ineffective thus far.

Can Krejza make a difference ? It is unlikely. The only positive that the Australians can take from Delhi with regards to their bowlers was that Brett Lee seemed to have found his rhythm.

Gambir's ban for this test may just offer them a chance to get the early breakthrough that has eluded them.

India

New captain. New opener.

Although the latter would the lesser of their worries.

Needing only a draw to seal the series the Indians may opt to sit back and see how the game progresses.

Batting- Gambir absent.
But will it cost India. Murali Vijay comes into the team on the back of double hundred in domestic cricket but he will be under a different kind of pressure all together in a whole new ball game.

Needing a win to square the series and retain the trophy the 'Stralians will come hard at the new guy. This major glitch in the batting line up may just offer the opening the Aussies have been looking for to get in to the middle order.

And with Dravid struggling and Sehwag being inconsistent, the top 3 look dodgy for India.

The rest of the batting line up is solid. It will also be Gangulys last test. So be sure to keep a close eye on him.

Bowling-Solid.
If not dangerous. Ishant and Zaid have been consistent through out the series and if Harbajan is fit the Indians will have a strong bowling line up that could propel them to a win in Nagpur.

Mishra was below par in Delhi and it will be good to watch him ply his trade on another helpful surface.

Leadership- Its all about Dhoni.
India are an entirely different team under Dhoni and it was no surprise that the test they won was under him.

Dhoni is the man everyone wants a pat on the back from and to be on the good books with.

He is definitely a better captain than Ponting and may just be the difference between the teams.

Prediction- I love the underdog

Its not often that the Australians are the underdog in test cricket. But times have changed and here we are. I love the underdog so I'm gonna stick my head out and say an Aussie win.

It will be made tough cuz India will play 7 batsmen and look for the stalemate. But if Lee and the quicks get past the openers and Krejza somehow pulls something out of the bag we could be in for a treat.

Go the underdog !

Anil...

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0000

Kumble had bowled 6 overs on the fourth morning without taking a wicket. Pakistan had been set an improbable 420 to win and only needed a draw to secure the series. At 101 for no loss they were well on their way.

After lunch Anil Kumble bowled 20.3 overs from the Pavillion End and ended up taking all 10 for 47. When Saeed Anwar went, Pakistan had collapsed to 128-6.

"That's when I thought all ten was possible for the first time" said Kumble afterwards.

Kumble was carried off the field by his team mates as the crowd rejoiced. "We had won, was my first reaction.

No one dream of taking 10 wickets because you cant."

Wisden, on undoubtedly Anils greatest day on the cricket field.

Anil Kumble was a complicated yet simple man. He was a cricketing intellectual. In 1990 he arrived, bespectacled, armed with an Mechanical Engineering degree and a deep mind.

Perhaps it was this background that led him to take up arguably the most intellectually challenging of all bowling forms.

Perhaps it was his methodical mind that influenced the very nature of how he bowled. It bred on patience and accuracy. Rinse and repeat.

He was a nerd, but a cool nerd who played cricket and was fucking good at it.

He was a leg spinner, but not quite.

He dint flight the ball, he dint drift the ball.

Hell 90% of the time he dint even spin the ball. Yet he ended up with a colossal amount of wickets.

Captained India.

And leaves the game as one the most respected to have ever played it.

During the mid 90s, leg spin was well and truly alive. While Warne and Mushy were spinning their into the history books, Anil just went about his business.

Day in day out.

Bowling line and length, getting it to nip a just that tad, which is all you ever need to get a wicket.

His longevity was underlined by the fact that he outlasted both Warne and Mushy in the end.

Anil was a giant of a man. He was the very definition of playing for your team. Never hunting personal accolades, whether he batted or bowled his commitment to India was unwavering.

If you asked him to he would bowl till his arm came off. Which he did.

Which is why he leaves us now see. He cant bowl anymore. If he could he would. Age caught up with him in the end. And that was the only way anyone was ever going to stop Anil.

His way or no way.

To me personally, Anils retirement does not only end a great cricketing career for India but it also closes a great chapter in crickets history. The last of the 3 great leg spinners of the modern era have performed their last trick.

There will be no encore.

There will be no one last hurrah.

Unless you count the IPL. (Which I'm sure you don't)

Cricket will miss you Anil.

India will miss you.

I know I will.

Adam Gilchrist vomits "horse crap"

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:00:00 +0000

Adam Gilchrist was a fine cricketer.

A cricketer for whom I had a lot of respect. But by showing his 'true colors' lately he is fast becoming a bit of a moronic asswipe.

First he had a dig at Sachin, but then he forgot that Indians are cricket crazy and his book would probably sell well there. So he sorted that out in quick time.

Now he's come out and labeled Murali a chucker. And apparently the ICC bent their laws so that Murali could bowl in international cricket.

The law was changed because half the people bowling in international cricket violated the existing law at the time. Under that law, Mcgrath, Pollock etc all chucked.

Maybe Gilchrist dint pass his science test in school or maybe he wasn't too good with the maths to go too deeply into such matters to understand what exactly happened.

Gilchrist goes on to say that Murali was protected by "Political influence". Maybe he dint even pass his geography cuz mate we are not India. We are whole separate country. With our own flag and everything.

There was NO political influence. The ICC launched an investigation and Murali was tested in AUSTRALIA and they them selves cleared him. In fact it was the Uni of WA who cleared him. Maybe some resentment from Gilly not getting a certain acceptance letter.

If anyone at all cares, the law of the 10 degree limit was extended to 15 degree because it is only at this threshold that the human eye can actually detect any flex in the arm.

But to me the final straw is him stating that allowing Murali to bowl was against "the spirit of the game".

For someone who 'seemed' to uphold this very same spirit during his playing days it is amazing how quickly he seems to have forgotten it after he stopped.

Whats the point ?

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 10:46:00 +0000

Heading into Zimbabwe is always interesting because you never know quite know what to expect.

Other than the fact that Sri Lanka is going to offer them a complete thrashing.

I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t know half the team that will take the field for the ODI series from the Zimbabwe. I lost interest in Zimbabwean cricket ever since Andy Flower left and the mass exodus in 2004.

That Zimbabwe had some grit about them. Led by Andy and Heath Streak, the batting was solid and the bowling was effective. Since then the Zimbabweans have been fielding 2nd string teams.

Which makes me wonder what the point of this series is. England would rather cancel the Sri Lankan tour in 2009 rather than face a 2nd string Sri Lankan XI.

Why must should we expect less from Zimbabwe. Or better yet, Why must we play them in the first place.

Sean Williams just pulled out to play cricket in South Africa, Brendon Taylor opted for Australia. Tatenda Taibu is in some court facing assault charges, oh hello? Tiny Taibu in an assault case?

The man assaulted apparently said “You should see the other guy”

This series going to be an absolute farce.

The only reason I am remotely interested in this series is because, couple of the young cubs I predicted big things for here, are going be playing.

Even the Sri Lankans are not taking this seriously, Jayasuriya will be just across the border, playing for the Dolphins, then he will hop on a plane to Hong Kong, to play in the 6s.

Which by the way promises to be more interesting as Sri Lanka are the defending champions.

However, for some unknown reason, they have sent King Sanga and Murali

Probably to ensure the annihilation will be as swift as possible.

Zimbabwe haven’t won a game against SL since 2004, I don’t expect this to change anytime soon.

Vote for the best no7(all rounder) EVER in ODIs

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 03:01:00 +0000

Its that time again, when you vote for the greatest ODI XI of all time.

The gist of this XI is that we get people to vote on who they think was the best in a given position in the line up. Its been smooth sailing so far. But now we have come down to the pivotal no7 position.

We would like to see an all rounder there so here are your options below.
Get Voting !

The XI so far.

Sanath Jayasuriya
Adam Gilchrist
Ricky Ponting
Viv Richards
Inzy
Bevan

Online Surveys & Market Research

Slow and steady,Aus inch away

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 06:11:00 +0000

It might not win them the race but they are getting close to the finish line.

And in this match the finish line is a draw, a beer and a sigh of relief.

Their first job was to get past the follow on and they have done that, the second ought to be to get as close to the Indians as possible because this match is not over by any means.

If the Aussies get bowled out in about an hour or so after lunch with maybe a 100 runs behind there might still be a chance for some late drama on the last day.

Good drama for India, bad for Australia.

Micheal Clarkes playing a very gritty innings, a good mixture of caution and attack.

White needs to hang in there after tea to help him out.

Meanwhile, Anils managed to get a wicket after an entire millenia.

Oh yea baby...Uh-huh!

Arjuna vs The Cricketing Mafia

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:08:00 +0000

Lets look at some facts

-SLC is running at a 600mil rupee bank over draft

-SLC sets up a potentially money earning series with England and the ECB for May 2009 to help in their financial troubles

-Which clashed with the IPL also set for May 2009, meaning most of the big names from SL would miss the 2nd IPL season

The ‘Players picking IPL over country’ debate begin

-Lalit Modi and BCCI have were going to have none of this and set up a 70mil dollar deal for the SLC, over ten years for letting the SL players take part in the IPL and the Champions League.

-Arjuna meanwhile goes on a trigger happy crusade against the IPL 2020, calling it nothing more than ‘instant noodles’- which we must all agree is one of the best analogies ever made.

-Arjuna then goes on to blame the IPL 2020 for India losing the test series in SL.

BCCI and Lalit Modi start to dislike Arjuna

-ECB’s David Morgan says SLC’s agreement with the BCCI over the 70mil is ‘unacceptable’ stating the ICC reaffirmed that Test Cricket was to be the number 1 priority for the boards.

-Arjuna says the English test series will go ahead.

-And then does the unthinkable and lifts the ban on ICL players playing domestic cricket in SL.

BCCI and Modis dislike Arjuna even more.

-Modi and BCCI say the deal will not go ahead if Arjuna is around.

-Threatens to cut bi-lateral ties with SL.

-Hints it can “buy off” any Sri Lankan player if it wants to.

Dead Lock.

The message is clear. India control the money and they have the power. They are kinda like the mafia of cricket right now. Threatening to bump off or buy off anyone who dares to go against them. Their reach is growing and its all about muscling out who ever they want to, to make as much money as possible.

India’s reputation of threatening to cut ties, boycott series and tours is growing. They exercised this power in Australia- Got their way.

They are doing the same with lowly SLC- surely they will win this time as well.

Arjuna is caught in the middle. He needs to make money for the SLC. Please the ECB, Please the BCCI and the IPL and his players all at the same time. That will never happen.

We argue a lot over the fact that cricket is only about the money these days. In this case- it HAS to be about the money. SLC needs money and its quite obvious that the most amount of money will flow from the IPL and the BCCI at the moment.

When Arjuna came into power I thought it would be a good thing. He always spoke about how the game in SL needs to improve to play with the big teams around the world. He seemed to have a vision.

But somewhere between his triple upsized breakfasts and predicting India will win the 2007 WC, he seems to have lost his mind.

The IPL and the BCCI don’t care about cricket, they care about Break Even points and balance sheets and we are nothing but a small country in Political turmoil and financial crisis. When big brother offers a hand this big I think we ought to take it.

The England series was never in the schedule. Arjuna dug him self a hole by hastily arranging it. And although I was ecstatic that we would tour England again and annoyed that players seemed to be picking the IPL over the country on hindsight you have to try and see the bigger picture.

The big picture is that the IPL will give the SLC more money over a longer period of time than one test series in England ever could. What Arjuna should have done instead of shooting his potty mouth is to have initiated discussions with the BCCI and IPL regarding the participation fees he claims the SLC never got.

And SLC needs money.

Its strange because ONLY the SLC have publicly announced that they did not get any fee. Were the other boards given this money and SLC ignored ?

Arjuna is not a business minded man, he has a big ego and does not enjoy anyone going against him. He is revered in SL cricketing circles because of what he achieved as a player. And he enjoys using that power to get his way to the front of the buffet line- so to speak.

But he is clearly not the man to lead the SLC, he runs his mouth which makes the board and the country look bad.

If I were Arjuna I would step down , because that would be in the interest of cricket in Sri Lanka. It is however unlikely and as long as he heads the board Sri Lankan cricket will be in turmoil in one way or the other.

Host Monty and win 500 quid !

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 11:55:00 +0000

Yes, that’s right. Bloomfield CC in Sri Lanka are going to be awarded 500 pounds for hosting Monty for a month.

Which is roughly around 90,000 rupees. Quite a nifty amount, but the club is currently feeling indifferent about it.

I'm not too sure what the fuss is about. 500 pounds equates to about 90 000 rupees back home. Which is roughly the amount an employee of a few years experience makes in Sri Lanka for a month.

Bloomfield are miffed as to why the ECB wont pay them the 7500 pounds they had asked for.

Are you fucking kidding me?

That is roughly around 1.4 mil rupees, which can support an entire squad of 15 for a month at 90k rupees a player.

The ECB are never going to pay so much to host Monty. Bloomfield ‘claim’ that they will need to replace their captain Shanuka Dissanayake for Monty.

Ironically Shanuka might actually be a better bowler than Monty. He clicks in at 21 per wicket vs Monty’s 31.
So Shanuka is good, but not 7500 pounds good.

Bloomfield can count themselves lucky if the ECB still goes ahead with the revised 1000 quid they are now offering.

If I were them Id take the money and start mixing a welcome drink for Monty.

Fan-actics: "Stallions vs Sugar XI"

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 05:03:00 +0000

Someone who wanted only to be known as The RAT, sent this one in.

Stallions Cricket Vs Pelwatte Sugar XI (30 overs)

Date: 18 October 2008

Venue: Pelwatte Sugar Cricket Ground

Toss: Stallions Cricket

Pelwatta Sugar XI 154/9 (30 overs)

Stallions Cricket 103 all out (27.3 overs)

The 5 hour drive had little affect on the visitors and after a heavy but interesting night the day before the game the Stallions cricketers (named by the club founders after the traditional Roy-Tho tent "Stallions") took on Pelwatta Sugar XI for a friendly encounter on Saturday the 18th October.

"ill-discipline prior to the match may have attributed to the Stallions loss."

After winning the toss the Stallions picked up where they left off the night before and had the home team reeling at 80/7 in the 20th over. However an excellent rearguard action by the home team's No.9 and No.10 (names not available as the writer does not have the scorebook) pushed their total to a competitive 154.

"This picturesque ground was set a light as wickets and beer bottles tumbled all day long"

However when the Stallions replied they had clearly finished the previous nights "jet fuel" and after a handy opening stand on 30 by Amal (12) and Pubudu (20) lost their last 6 wickets for 23 runs, falling short of the target by 51 runs. The disappointed cricketers saw no option but to return to their accomodations to "re-fuel" themselves that night.

"The opening Stallions gave the team a healthy start but soon the batting fizzled our, much like the beers that were getting cold."

"The Stallions"

The world needs a (leg spinning) hero

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 09:27:00 +0000

With Anil Kumbles career nose diving further than the stock market these days, it brings to an end a great era in modern day cricket.

For most of the mid 90's Kumble, Mushy and Warne mesmerised, tricked and spun their way to countless number of wickets.

Each had varying styles which made it an incredible spectacle for the watcher.So with Kumble's career ending it closes the chapter on the great leg spinners of the modern game.

Cricket needs spinners. Because they are rare.

Good ones are even more rare.

And Great leg spinners are those once in a life time types. So the cricket community have been incredibly lucky that we have had 3 of the greatest in the span of a decade.

As UncleJ rambles on, leg spinners are cool. They make cricket make more interesting. They tend to capture the imagination of the people watching it. They get you fixed to the tele to see what will come out of their hand next.

And don't deny it. Everyone loves to see a batsmen looking like their shat their pants when they don't read the googly and gets castled (Ricky Ponting v Chawla).

Or when they get bowled around the legs in the last over the day (Basit Ali v Warne).

The worrying factor now is though that since 1992, when Warne made his debut, we are yet to find a leggie of the same class. Many have come and gone but none have shown the class of the big 3.

The closest to the mantle was another Aussie in StuartMcgill. But he put an end to his chances when he consumed too many Bigmacs and drank too much wine when he got side lined by Warnes greatness.

Since there there have been many young upstarts. We've heard about Nice Bryce Mcgain, many times (too many times if you count Jrods antics!), but yet to see him at the highest level.

Sri Lanka themselves have tried to blood in a leggie and failed miserably. Malinga Bandara, Kaushal Lokuarrachhi lack the class.

The best bet right now is Amit Mishra and Piyush Chawla. Both have great potential and Mishra showed he has the class to keep the Aussies and young Chawla at bay while holding his own.

Personally I'm backing Mishra, he's cool. Seems like hes ready to get down and dirty.
Has potential to get the crazy-eyes if the time comes and did I mention he bowls well.

So there is some hope.

The world needs a leg spinning hero.

Someone we can always count on to make the batsmen look like utter fools

Someone who make batsmen wet their beds at night dreaming about picking them the next day.

Someone our kids can tell their grand kids about.

Weird google searches that led people here - ep2

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 07:24:00 +0000

"googly ghost"

Seems Ricky Ponting is still not over - this

The legend of Splendid Mendis

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 10:27:00 +0000

Legend has it that Splendid was conceived at the foot of the mythical Adams peak. Thus people believe this is where Mendis draws his supernatural powers, enabling him to run through a batting line up with a mere flick of his fingers.

When Splendid Mendis entered this mortal earth, it is said that that he thanked his mother for her troubles and told his dad “Ill take it from here”.

Splendid then proceeded to create a horse drawn carriage from a few sticks outside the hospital and pulled the thing himself with his parents on board and took them home.

He later returned to pick up his dads car from the car park.

At age 7 Splendid Mendis’s legend was known only to a select few in the outer regions of the country.

But all that changed over night when, playing back yard cricket with his friends, Splendid dismissed the entire opposition by himself.

That alone might not seem that impressive.

But when he repeated the same 10 times over in the next 10 games everyone took notice.

3 years later , 10 year old Splendid completed his degrees. When he wanted to do a octagon degree – a combination of 8 different disciplines, no university offered it. So he studied in 25 universities at the same time and completed 25 different degrees.

It was a combination of Mechanics, Mechatronics, Advanced Physics, Biology and some other thing even we cant pronounce. For his dissertation he did part time consultancy for NASA and promptly discovered a new universe.

NASA offered to call it the Splendid Universe but Mendis shied away from the spot light.

Splendid was a humble man from the beginning.

At age 11 Splendid was picked by the Australian Cricket team and offered Aussie citizenship. He declined and instead went on to join the Sri Lankan army. Both the cricket team and military.

Mendis once destroyed an entire fleet of rebel battleships with nothing but a leather ball and a flick of his legendary fingers.

When not destroying rebel battalions Splendid was destroying batting line ups in club cricket at 12.

He has taken a 1000 wickets in every season he has played in with a average of –(minus) 155.

A recent poll conducted revealed that 99.99% of the males in Sri Lanka want to be Splendid Mendis. The 0.01% was Mendis himself.

Another poll revealed that 87% of the worlds women want to sleep with Splendid. 100% of the men want the same.

Mendis can drink 50 kegs of beer in one go. And still do 100 Everclear shots one after the other.

Splendid was in fact picked for the Sri Lankan test team at age 13 but he declined as he dint want to steal the spotlight from Murali.

The official name for Sri Lanka is actually The Republique of Ajantha Splendid Mendis, but its more commonly know as Sri Lanka, which is one of the many nick names for Splendid Mendis.

The Large Hadron Collider project was actually in ruins before Splendid offered his help. He dug the tunnel and connected the tubes in 15 minutes.

The first particle they will collide will be Splendid running in opposite direction at the same time.

The Sri Lankan test team hired Mendis as a bowling Machine as net practice for their test tours to India but soon gave up the plan after 300 000 balls of playing and missing.

Splendid coached Terry Jenner.

His bowling average has reached minus infinity. Thrice.

Shane Warne said he was glad he is not playing in the Era of The Splendid.

Splendid doesn't use pick up lines. He merely looks at women and they want give him their number.

Women have been asked not to look directly into his eyes. If they do they will shudder with multiple orgasms.

Splendid has been nominated and has won the greatest human ever award in each of his 20 years on earth. This has largely gone unnoticed to the world because he has requested that his name be kept out of the papers.

And Finally, Don Bradman has said that he would never have got a test run if Splendid had been around when he played.

These are but a mere snippet of the folklore surrounding the great man.

Many of his legendary feats have been lost through the times or been forgotten. However flyslip has dedicated himself to unveiling all the great stories surrounding Splendid.

2020 CL Draw- Sharad Pawar puffs the magic dragon

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 00:42:00 +0000

I kid you not,

See for your self

Sharad Paward on the puff

See the rest of the show here

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Important questions to come out from the Draw are

- can the ICC ever host a good show?
- are Harsha Bogle's homo tendencies getting out of hand. (Hint Shane Watson, Hint, Hint, Hint)
- was sharad pawar on the puff ?
- can Mike Hussey ever pose for a photo without looking like a fucking alien.

And of course, do we really care about all this ?

Redbacks make Younis Khan spasm with excitement

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 10:47:00 +0000

Khan debuted for the Redbacks just yesterday against the Speedblitz blues
It was a magnificent day.

Not for Khan. He made 3.

But the Redbacks won a nail biter off the penultimate ball of the day, off a misfield when they needed 2 off 2.

I'm glad I'm not that fielder.

What was most interesting to note was though Khans reaction when they did win.

He was fist pumping and hugging players he probably does'nt even know yet. Like the commentator said 'it was like he'd won the world cup'.

For a minute, you'd be forgiven for thinking he was having some kind of weird whole body orgasm.

I've never seen Khan that excited in my life.

Maybe he is just happy to be playing some cricket again.
Maybe's hes happy not to be in Pakistan with Ijaz Butt going crazy.

Or Maybe he was trying to shake off the jet lag.

But who cares, its good to see these international guys show passion for this type of game.

Specially a Pakistani, who as well all know by now wont feature in a test match this whole year.

Keep the spirit alive Younis. And hopefully some runs next time

The most rated, under-rated player in the world

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 01:55:00 +0000

Is undoubtedly, Daniel Vettori.

Check it, the mans just had a sensational test match against Bangladesh, might not warrant for much, but the Kiwis were in a spot of bother at one stage before Vettori saved their asses, AGAIN.

Daniel, glasses and all, is a man who carries his entire countries fortunes, at least the cricketing ones, on his back.

Dan Vettori is New Zealand. New Zealand is Dan Vettori. ( KingCricket thinks its got something to do with his glasses.)

To drive home this point, picture the Kiwis without him. They would be no better than Bangladesh.

It really would be a battle of the minnows.

He does everything.

His bowling is brilliant. Proper world class.

His batting is a comical collection of good shots, ugliness and excruciatingly frustrating blocking. But it gets the job done.

The captaincy has not affected his cricketing ability one bit. When Stephen Fleming stepped down it left a huge void. He was someone everyone looked up to and not too many can remember a time when Flemming dint captain New Zealand.

Vettori stepped up. His batting and bowling averages are a huge contrast to his career figures as captain.

With the bat he averages 41 from his usual 27. With the ball its down to 30 from 33. He is rated the 2nd best all rounder in test cricket by the ICC.

Add to all this the fucker is only 27. That's at least another good 8-10 years in the big league.

He is not afraid of a scrap either.

With some new stars coming into the team the Kiwis are currently in the process of developing into a good team

There is no better man to lead them through this haze of changing landscapes in world cricket.

Plus the ladies just adore him.

Harry Potteresque, Nerd or just plain old guy next door, what ever you may be Daniel,

Under rated, you are no longer.

Ricky Ponting; the law abiding captain

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 07:48:00 +0000

So in case any of you are still wondering why Brett Lee dint bowl in the first session of Day 4 we went ahead and asked him

Well not we, but Mark Nicalaus.

So apparently its overrates that Lee dint get a the nod from Ponting.

This is very hard to believe, How can you not bowl lee, the premier fast bowler in the team cuz of Overrates?

Things might not be as peachy as it looks in the Aussie camp. And its not looking too peachy right now.

Tier A Preview : Tamil Union

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:06:00 +0000

Profile.

The story of Tamil Union is one of always being the brides maid, but never the bride. They are the Tasmania of Sri Lanka.

Not too many of the TU players get into the test team but when they do they make it count. Tamil Unions favorite son is also every body’s favorite son. The goggle eyed one aka Murali.

Came in 3rd in Tier A last year and will be strong challenger for the title this season.

Leadership
28 year old Muditha Maduwantha should be leading the side out for another season. A make shift player who can bat both at the top and lower order and bowls first change.

But what the Union will be looking for from him is some inspired leadership and to maintain consistent performances throughout the season.

A feat they couldn't accomplish last year winning 4 and losing 3.

Batting- Hit and miss.

A decent batting line up with national player Lanka de Silva leading the way. He is ably backed up by veterans Sajith Fernando and last years player of the tournament Muthumudalige Pushpakumara.

The biggest challenge for the team however will be to put up consistent scores. Last season the batting was a cacophony all sorts. Scores of over 400 one day and less than 150 the next.

To be a legitimate candidate for the title this year the batting needs to take on more responsibility to ensure the bowlers have good totals to play around with.

Bowling-lacks the punch

This is where Union will struggle. Although they have good variation, their in ability to pick up wickets last season was one of the reasons for their inconsistent performance.

A lot will be expected from captain Maduwantha. However all eyes will be on the off spin of Muthumudalige Pushpakumara, the Unions highest wicket taker in the last season. Having made the move to the Tamil Union last year be finally delivered on his much hyped talent. More big things are expected this season.

Right of passage
There are a couple of young uns to keep an eye on here. Suranga Lakmal in his debut season led the attack well. With some experience under his belt he will be required to provide more early breakthroughs this season. If Tamil Union are to make a severe dent in the table you’d have to back this young fast bowler to deliver.

Gihan de Silva has been loitering on the talent he has got. An average of 26 in 3 years of first class cricket doesn’t sound like much but all that can change this year if he gets his act together.

Playing in the middle order at a pivotal no5-6 positions de Silva, coach Brendon Kurruppu will be expecting a lot more from this 23 year old this season to back up his keeping.

Prediction

Tier A:2nd or 3rd

Kiwis wobble as Ian Smith recites mantra's

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 05:07:00 +0000

As Australia heads for one of the biggest losses in their recent history, Lil Bangladesh is slowly working their way through the Kiwi top order.

Right now the key remains Vettori and Taylor.

A partnership of some substance will see the kiwis home.

But a couple of wickets will make have them singing a different tune.

Sakib is having an absolute sensational game. With still 100 + runs in the arrears this spells a very close prospect.

However, with Flinn, Mccullum and Oram to come, Kiwis are odds on favorites.

I'd love to see the Bangladeshi's pull off a win here.

Meanwhile reports are now coming in that Ian Smith has been shun in commentary box as he becomes increasingly distraught with each kiwi wicket that falls.

Smith has apparently covered him self in a bedsheet in the corner of the press area and has been heard to be reciting mantra's hoping that the Kiwis can pull off the win.

Some say he's even got the crazy - eyes on him. People have scrambled to locate Jessie Ryder to nip this disaster in the bud ,but as so far been unable to find him since he left the dressing room for an early lunch.

Edit: as I post this Taylor goes!

Fan-atics :"Captain Malik or Captain Mistake?"

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:44:00 +0000

A Distraught Pakistani and dear friend of the flyslip, Zaid, sent this one in.

Captain Malik or Captain Mistake?

I feel that twenty twenty cricket is the easiest form of the game to captain in. Shoaib Malik, Pakistan's young skipper, failed badly vs Sri Lanka in both matches. The first match he got away with, but if it was test or 50 over cricket the result would most probably be very different.

Malik's Mistakes vs Sri Lanka

1. (first match) captain Malik wins the toss and choses to bowl first on a pitch that is getting harder to bat on

2. (first match) Captain Malik brings Umar Gul on in the 15th over so he can only bowl 3 overs max (note gul took four wickets in those 3 overs)

3. (first match) Captain Malik comes into the match and plays one hell of a slow innings forcing other batsman to take risks and get out

4. (1st match) Captain Malik sends in Sohail Tanvir ahead of recognized batsman Fawad Alam and makes Pakistan's task more difficult

5. (2nd match) Captain Malik brings on Umar Gul too early and well...just watch this to see the result

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6. (2nd match) Captain Malik brings on Akhtar in the 15th over...now this is where Gul would have been brilliant as shown in the next over Gul bowled who took a wicket and should have had another

Now after that Akhtar over the match was over. Now you say "why bring on Gul? he got hammered by a rookie!"

Well a few days before captain Malik said Gul is the best bowler with the old ball, so why bring him on in the 5th over and then why not bowl him when the opposition is under pressure rather than giving it to the out of form Shoaib Akhtar.

All this one a short T20 match. Malik's time as skipper is running out. I would take anyone as captain now- Afridi, Misbah, Younis, or even Yousuf

Australias bulldog grit sees them through

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 11:33:00 +0000

This is why this teams best test team in the world.

Its hard to see too many teams that can recover from the position Australia were in today.

The key to the whole thing once again was being aggressive. Its amazing what a positive mind set can do.

At 57-4 most teams would scurry into their shell, but Micheal Clarke and Brad Haddin proved their worth in the team. Although another failure from Haddin might cost him his spot.

There were some reckless shots being played by both but once they got their eye in slightly , most started connecting. Clarke especially looked good when coming down the wicket.

However, doing this when the partnership is going well and with India slightly on the back foot is one thing. Doing this tomorrow might not prove too successful.

Tomorrow will ask for a different set of skills from the batsmen. The skill to survive the first wave of Indian onslaught and to weather the second.

To turn the pressure back onto them in the 2nd session.

And to cling on for dear life in the 3rd.

If any team can do this its the Aussies.

Another joyous test match cricket awaits

We'll be Singhing when we're winning

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 09:35:00 +0000

Well I did predict an Aussie win here and it seems there are quite resolute in making me loose my money here.

47-0 to 57-4.

Singh on fire. Sharma all over Ponting, again.

Hayden started with a bout a trillion fours but that was short lived.

Can Australia last the day ??

And can Bangladesh loose another test?

Stay tuned.

Edit: 58-5

100 dollars Australia wont last the day.

Tier A Preview: SSC

noreply@blogger.com (Damith S.) — Sun, 19 Oct 2008 13:07:00 +0000

I have been long since intending to do a domestic preview. Living away from home doesn't help this cause. Having next to no access to match information is another.

Since many of you are probably alien to the domestic set up in SL, I will make an analogy to your teams to a county or state team in Australia so that you get the general idea of how that team is perceived back home.

Our system is much like the English county system, with two 'Tiers A, B'. One team gets relegated and another promoted at the end of the season.

Of course this may not happen this year since some fuckers decided the relegated team wont be demoted. No one knows why.

Understandably the other teams aren't happy about this. 18 of the 20 teams are threatening to boycott. So these previews might end up being the most useless time Ive spent blogging.

Any who, Tier A is where all the shit goes down and like Division 2 in England , no one gives a stuff about Tier B.

Profile
SSC are the undisputed King of the jungle when it comes to Sri Lankan domestic cricket. A whole heap of National starts are bred on this infamous club.

They are what NSW is to Australia. Half the national team is from the SSC and which is extremely annoying.

Leadership.
Last year the reins weren't exactly stable. Avishka Gunewardene was the captain for the season, he later joined the ICL so SLC dint really like that too much.

Then Sri Lankans very own Probot extraordinaire, Thilan Samaraweera got the nod, but he too left for international duty and more probotting around the world.

The keg fell to Tharanga Paranavitana, and he led the team to Tier A victory as they regained the Tier A championship from Colombo Cricket Club.

This year though, Id like to see the captaincy go to Thilina Kandamby, who has led the A team with distinction and is proving himself to be a strong candidate for the job.

Batting
Strong.

The top 2 run scorers for last season came from SSC.

In Paranavitana and Jeewan Mendis they have strong opening pair. The middle order is solid with players like Kandamby, Kaushal Silva coming into their own in the A team in recent times.

Big numbers are on the cards.

Bowling
Strong.

23 year old off spinner Sachithra Senanayake was the only bowler to get 50 wickets in Tier A. A repeat of the same dose is expected.

Backed up by current internationals Thilal Thushara and Dammika Prasad, SSC can expect a few early wickets on a consistent basis. Prasads big made and fires it at a quick pace, and Thusharas in your face attitude and left armers add great variety.

Kaushal Lokkuarrachi offers the leg spin option.

SSCs got all the bases covered.

Right of Passage
In Shalika Karunanayake, SSC has a player who has come up through the ranks. A star in the U-19 team this will the season he takes things by the balls.

At 21 hes still plying his trade. A genuine medium pacer and a strong batsmen I expect consistent and dominant performances from the kid all season as he grows his pubes and enters into manhood.

Sachithra Sennayake was a sensation last season with 50 wickets. More of the same pls Sachithra.

Prediction
Tier A- 1st or 2nd.