Flying Frank - The Dog with the Blog

Ruud boy

2007-11-16T10:49:00.001-08:00

Yo Flying Fans,

Hope you are all OK, as for me, well it's a pretty slow life these days. I am just chilling my boots in my home in Middlesex with my fellow doggies. Nothing like being a racing greyhound. I do sometimes reminisce about the days when Jono Coleman, my erstwhile trainer, would come round with the mustard, give me a little rub and off I went. Now, no such luck - although there was some talk of overseas travel, it didn't quite transpire in the way I had hoped. I got down to the final 50 celebs for 'I'm a celebrity', alongside Bubble from Big Brother, Floella Benjamin and Orville out of Keith and Orville. It didn't quite happen for me though and the Producers didn't select me in the - something about having enough dogs in there already?

Anyway, I was pretty devastated with that so I decided to go abroad anyway for some R & R. I headed to LA where I knew I would be able to see alot of my old homeboys. Of course, I couldn't possibly comment as to whether I saw David Beckenham, LA's most famous resident...but seeing as he used to be a glass collector at Walthamstow and I used to race at Walthamstow...as they say in LA, you do the math! Anyway, what I can tell you is whilst I was there I did bump into my old chum Ruud Gullit, who is now manager of the LA Galaxy. You can see him here in an exclusive pic. he's a good mate is Ruud but I think he's got a little confused in his message....I've already got a home! He knows that already, I dread(lock) to think what else he forgets...he is Dutch, so maybe he's been spending a little too much time in one of the Dam's Coffee shops, if you know what I mean...obviously my lawyers (Ruff Justice - "No Dog too small) have asked me to point out that he most definitely would only ever drink coffee in an Amsterdam coffee shop...but you get my drift.

Anyway, I have actually just heard back from a World Famous celebrity dog - more of that in my next post

For now...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Anyone for Svennis?

2007-10-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Hey Flyer-lovers,

It's just a quick note, really.

I wanted to give my two penney worth on all the 'fakery scandals' that seem to be being reported in the papers at the moment. One minute GMTV, the next Radio One, then Blue Peter - they all seem to be conning their fans with stories that are not all they seem.

I just want to reassure my supporters that there will be nothing of the sort going on at Flyingfrank.com . I would never resort to faking-up things and deceiving my loyal fans.

That was it really - oh, see above celebrity message I received only this week from my best friend in the world, Sven Goran Eriksson.

Peace. Love. Woof

Flying Frank

Dilly Dally-ing

2007-09-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hey All,

Seeing as it's the start of the Rugby world Cup this weekend, I thought I would show you the message I received from one of my closest mates in the business - Lawrence Dallaglio ('Lolly' as I know him). From the time I have spent with him, I know he is desperate to bring home the bacon from France (DON'T get me started on the French!) and I hope he can. I've always had time for one of the most amenable guys in the game. he is such a clever guy - an articulated Lawrie, if you like - and I want to wish him and the other fellas the best for the World Cup. Come on England (apologies to all the Scottish, Welsh, Irish and Tongan followers) !

In other news, I am continuing to settle into my new domestic life. I had a great night out this week at the Mercury Music Awards. I've got a really close friend in the music business who invited me down (he's the dog in the HMV adverts, although I go way back with Amy Winehouse too, incase you were going to say it) - did we down a few bowls of water or what? We had an absolute ball and the only shame was that my oldest friend in the business - Snoop Dogg - didn't show. The rest of the week has been pretty straightforward - just a whirlwind of pup-lic appearances, after-dinner speaking and smelling my own produce. Like any other week, really.

Speak soon guys, increase the peace.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Magic-mix

2007-08-24T10:34:00.001-07:00

Hey Ho my big dog-loving public,

Me again, the bad boy of the track turned bad boy of , er, Middlesex. Oh yes.

Just wanted to share with you another picture of one of the various hotties that stalk me morning, noon and night. Incase you are not sure, the picture above is of the UK's most prominent Magician's WAG - The lovely Debbie McGee. Not only is she the wife and assistant of hocus-pocus merchant Paul Daniels but she also loves doggies. Not alot of people know that. Me and The Mcgheeabantor go way, way, way back - she is a Diamond Mcgheezer, as is her old man to be fair (when he's not up to his old tricks!) .

If I ever need a Rabbit pulling out of a hat (mmmmm, rabbit), need slicing in half or need a little piff-paff-poofing, P-Danny and his Mrs are my men.

Just thought you might like to see it...off dogging now...have a good bank holiday weekend everyone, love you all

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Denise-y does it

2007-08-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Greetings Doggers!

Since the last time I blogged, I have undergone a quicker change than Nadia from Brother. After I got left Jono's kennels, I had to make the change from professional athlete to man-about-town, regular member of the public. Gone are the late nights, VIP (very important pup) passes and travelling everywhere by private Ford Transit Vans. Furthermore, now that I am out of the spotlight, no longer are the ladies trailing me, in the hope that they will be The Flyer's latest squeeze. Hee hee, just kidding...that last bit is a complete lie - of course they are. Apart from that, though, what I'm trying to say is that I have had to become normal little doggie with a normal little life.

To tell you the truth, I did struggle a bit at first and it has taken me a while to become domesticated.....yes, I do mean domesticated...and yes, I have been doing that...right in the middle of Sunday lunch last week (bit embarrassing).

It's not just that though, it's the pace of life that has taken me a bit by surprise, although there has been one bright light in my life since I became a homeboy...Denise Robertson, who I have a picture of above. For those of you that don't get to catch daytime TV, Denise is the Agony Aunt on 'This Morning' and is always on-hand to help people with their problems. Just seeing her on telly, helping people with their problems - be they ones of a personal or sexual nature, or just plain old genital warts - really helps me. Since I first saw her on telly, I got in touch with her and she has been able to help me personally. If you catch my drift. Because if there is one thing she is, it's a lady of considerable experience!

She has been helping people with their problems for years and let's just say that I couldn't have done it without Denisaldinhio (as I call her). She has been a great source of comfort to me as I try and slip into day-to-day life in my new home. There is alot to get used to, I can tell you.

Speaking of which, it's probably about time I got you a photo of how I am settling in. I will sort one out very shortly!

In the meantime,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank PR

P.S. – The Flying Frank Facebook club is now up to 640 members!

Out on a Tim

2007-07-06T10:11:00.001-07:00

Hello Flyer-Fans,

Well it's fair to say that retirement is being kind to me. when I announced a couple of weeks ago that my racing career was at an end, I knew there would be doubters. I knew there would be those who thought I'd be a failure. I knew there were those who thought my celebrity friends would desert me.

Well I've only gone and rubbed their noses in it with a picture from famous-as-famous-can-be-don't-you-know-who-I-am-Yes-Sir-you-ARE-on-the-guest-list Timmy 'Timbo' Mallett!

Timbo and I go way back and as soon as he heard about my retirement, he got back in touch. Contrary to popular myth, Timbo has gone from strength to strength since he has disappeared from Network TV. He performs live EVERY Friday and Saturday night (you can catch him at Liquid in Hanley on August 16th, followed by Pontins, Pakefield on October 27th) and he is also a massive star in Burkino Faso and The Gambia and is on both advertising billboards in Turkmenistan.

I guess the main reason for his message - and what a message it is - is to make sure I am OK and fully prepared for what the big old world has planned for me. Actually, he gave me a few bits of advice which I include here:

Timmys Top 5 tips for coping with life after fame:

1) Use the extra gaps in your diary to spend more time with your loved ones (believe me, the bitches in the kennels are already forming a queue for some Flyer Love for my next visit)

2) Don't let the doubters grind you down (exactly what I think Timbo - one mans ITV is another mans TV Travel Shop)

3) There is always Pontins in Pakefield

Unfortunately, Timmy's five tips are incomplete because they stopped there. Hey ho, he probably got called out to some important public appearance or meeting with a Television controller or some such.

Anyway, I only wanted to show the message cos I was so thrilled with it.

there's been lots going on with my new life, new home and new career. You never know, I might be sharing it with you some time soon!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Oooh Ahhh

2007-06-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

The Media bandwagon rolls on....see the Daily Star Sunday announce my retirement this weekend. The dog and bone has been red hot!!!

The Sun - I love it

2007-06-13T10:40:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

My 'top dogs' at The Sun Online have been one of the first to write an article on my retirement. You can read the full piece - and see a slideshow - at http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,3-2007270301,00.html

Peace. Love. Woof

The Finish Line

2007-06-11T08:29:00.000-07:00

Every dog has it's day - an open letter to my fans

Change isn't good or bad. It's just the way of things. Nothing stays the same.
- Anonymous -

To my wonderful army of 'Triple F's' (Friends of Flying Frank),

This is the moment I have been dreading. The inevitable. I haven't written a blog for so long because I have been dreading this moment. I have not felt this sick since that visit to the Starlight Burger & Kebab House down on Hoe Street.

So I'll get on with it:

I'm out of the traps forever.

Yes, it's true. I've been forced into an early retirement from the world of professional greyhound racing because of a career-ending injury.

My keenest fans will recall that I sustained a shoulder injury after being bumped jumping hurdles on the third bend on the 9th January 2007, in what turned out to be my final race on my home track of Walthamstow. Following that, Jono, my trainer, advised a couple of months of rest, through which the shoulder recovered and I managed two trial races in March. It wasn't the same though. After a further period of rest, a vet confirmed the worst: I had flown round The Stow for the last time. I have sustained permanent damage to my Achilles tendon and so my racing career is over.

For those of you into a bit of nostaligia, my owners at Frank PR have written this little biography of me:

In a career that started on February 17th 2005, Flying Frank won 15 of his 56 races.

When he began his career he started his now world famous website – www.flyingfrank.com – and as a result he has attracted a huge legion of celebrity fans that have appeared on it. These include Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, Anthea Turner, Michael Vaughan, Lorraine Kelly, Lenny Henry, Jimmy Carr, Miss Dynamite and Amir Khan.

Graham Goodkind, Chairman of Frank PR, the owners of Flying Frank, said: “After some intense speculation over the past couple of months I can confirm that Flying Frank has retired from the world of professional greyhound racing due to an injury sustained in action. However, I can also reveal that we have been busy working with him on what his next career steps are to be. He has no plans to just bow out of the public spotlight and is planning a major project that will excite and probably surprise his fans. Now he doesn’t have the structure of a training schedule any more, he will some more time to meet his public and work on his future away from the track. In the meantime, he will also be available for public appearances, store openings, weddings, barmitzvahs and after dinner speaking engagements.”

Flying Frank will be leaving Claverhambury Kennels, John Coleman’s training headquarters next week. He will be moving to an address in Bushey, Hertfordshire, that cannot be revealed due to his request for some privacy at this emotional time of his life.

Very nice chaps, thank you.

Friends - as you can imagine, this is incredibly hard for me. As my man Graham says above, there is alot planned for the future. I am holding my cards close to my chest right now but, amongst other things, I am intending to father a couple of hundred or so children. Bit of luck there will be a Greyhound Derby winner in there somewhere. Something his Old Man couldn't quite manage.

So: Thank you for your unstinting support over the years. This is the beginning of the next phase for The Flyer and, with your support, it can be huge. I will be updating you about my new life and everything we have planned right here at http://www.flyingfrank.com/ . You can also email me at woof@flyingfrank.com

As always,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Read all about it

2007-04-02T06:51:00.000-07:00

Well, now you know people, I have really hit the big-time now...fresh from my celebrity liaisons on the dance floor at Charlie Chan's, my cameos on WAGS boutique and my guest appearances on Dogtor Who (possibly all true), I have now transferred my fame over to the national newspapers. On Saturday, I sat down for my morning constitutional, with my usual two reads - The Daily Star and The Financial Times. Imagine my surprise when I opened the former and discovered a very familiar face staring back at me....That's right....and straight after looking at page 3, I flicked a little further back in the paper and saw that news on me and my celebrity fans was run over a full page!

I have attached the picture above so you can see it good and proper...what a wonderful thing to happen and you can see that there are pics of some of my best buds in the world. I tell you, soon after this appeared, the old dog and bone didn't stop ringing and the emails to woof@flyingfrank.com have been plentiful too!

Anyways, I just wanted to log on quickly to tell you that whilst I am working my way through endorsement proposals, book offers and exclusive deals with OK! and Woof! magazine, I haven't forgotten about you, my fans.

Keep it all coming people!

Peace. Love. Woof.

P.S. - I raced in a trial last week - should be back in the traps shortly!

P.P.S. - A Big Lower-Thames-sized 'shout out' to my main homie and new Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank) Li-Harr for her efforts this week

Gough Mixture

2007-03-16T10:39:00.000-07:00

Little update for you...

Well, whilst my racing career hasn't exactly been flying of late, I can report that my Facebook club is going from strength to strength- 114 members at the last count. Things are really going great at the moment on there - if you are not on there yet declaring your undying love for me (why not??!), then do so! Just go onto www.facebook.com and then search for me. I should come up first.

In the meantime, I'm happy to tell you that this loverlee message snuck it's way into my inbox this week. Great timing, what with the Cricket World Cup in the West Indies and all. As you can see, it's me old China Plate, 'Dazzling' Darren Gough who's sent a message. Tell you something, I really Gough my cap to him, as he is a top bloke, a really wicket fella (as he says in the photo). Although we still go out looking for a couple of bouncers, we go way back do me and Dazzler, and now that he is a 'Strictly Come Dancing' Champion and I still love him - waltz and all.

Anyway, as you can probably guess, I am less than happy about not racing. Rest assured though that this is not a permanent thing - I will be back soon, better than ever, so watch this space - and keep emailing me at woof@flyingfrank.com

Speak soon,

Peace. Love. Woof.

Good looking, what you got Facebooking

2007-03-06T11:03:00.000-08:00

Hello Hello Hello,

Well, there is good news and there is bad news...

The bad news is that my Raison d'etre, my vocation in life, my purpose, my reason for being, is still forbidden. Yep, I haven't raced for two months, since January 7th. The answers to your questions are: the cold, yes it is, I don't know and Roast Dog.

The good news is that my enforced absence has enabled me to discover a new passion in life....the wonderful world of Facebook. Being a cool dude who is down with the puppies, I pride myself on being up-to-date on the sickest trends (If you are a youth, sick means good, not vomit by the way) and there aint none as sick as Facebook. It's like a whole new world and anyone who is anyone has a Facebook presence. Infact, I was alerted to it by my main homeboy, Peter Beardsley, who you can see in the picture above. Not only did he used to play football for England, but he is well in touch with what is hot and what is not. Evidence is what he has written in his message - "Good to see you in toon". P-Beardy (as I call him) has a way with words and not only does he mean stay in touch with Newcastle United (who he played for and are nicknamed 'Toon') but he also means stay in tune with the youth and all things Bear (again, a youngsters word for 'good', not a big fat grizzly thing that ate Goldilocks). Facebook is indeed bear, P-Beardy. Clever.

My main presence on www.facebook.com is the fan club that has been set up by my devotees - you can access it by typing in Flying Frank or otherwise, this link might work. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2247087519 . It's the second best place in the world (after www.flyingfrank.com ) for my devotees to come together so make sure you get on, join up and let everyone else know too.

Right, got to go to the loo (mustn't forget my Andrex again)...bye for now.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Roy the Boy

2007-02-23T10:12:00.000-08:00

Now, I can see that instantly you may well have a few questions as you are reading the start of this blog. Well let me stop you right away pardner, and answer them:

1) No, I'm still not racing. It's been seven weeks now. Or, to put it another way, 45 days. That's 1015 in dog days you know.

2) No, it's not a waxwork in the picture. That is in fact the Grrright Honourable Gentlemen, Mr 'Raving' Roy Hattersley, or The Raver, as I call him. For those of you who are not sure, The Raver is a politician and was deputy leader of the Labour party for many years.

He's now retired and since then we have become good mates (we often get together for a Mass Debate). His message isn't a straightforward one as you can see, and touches a nerve actually. No, I can't read it either (but that's the Raver!) but it says something to the effect of "I hope that when you retire, they don't put you through the mincer". As if! The Raver obviously hasn't been down to the Claverhambury Kennels...Jono my trainer loves his dogs, we all get treated really well, looked after, fed properly etc etc. In fact, because I'm not racing at the moment, they have told me that if it is really getting me down, and if I am still not racing in a couple of months time, they will send me on an all expenses-paid holiday to Korea! You can't get looked after much better than that now can you?

I suppose the only other thing you probably want to know is WHY I'm not racing right now. To tell you the truth, this cold weather doesn't really agree with me. I am very much a warm-weather racer and if you look back at my statistics, you will see that I took a few weeks out on the beach at this time last year. In many ways, I should be a Barbados-based greyhound, but somehow I ended up in Walthamstow. Nevertheless, Jono tells me that a week or two and I should be back in fighting form. Flippin bored not racing at the moment, though! There is only so much Sudoko a dog can do! I've also been on a couple of dates as well (ALOT of women like the ruff and ready type) but I just can't wait to get back in the traps again.

Soon, hopefully. Paws crossed.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Vaughan and Bred

2007-02-08T11:33:00.000-08:00

Hiya - I won't lie to you, it aint a great time for me right now. For some reason, I'm not racing which, as well as meaning I am stagnating and not earning any money, it also means I don't have too much to write about on my blog.

I'm pretty down at the moment, I tell you - luckily though an old Pedigree chum of mine, England Cricket Captain Michael Vaughan, popped a message in the other day - you can see it in the picture, "You're a Vaughn winner", it says. Interestingly, he can't spell his own surname. Even so, me and the Vaughan-meister go along way back - we often sit around chewing the fat, sinking a few pints and taking the Michael out of people. He's a Vaughan winner that boy is and...and I can't say too much here...he certainly knows how to bowl a maiden over! He never seems to know where he is going though....sorry, the details are classified, but put it this way - his Dography is awful!

At least he has a left a message of encouragement which, in these hard times, is like manor from heaven for a mutt like me...you can also keep them coming to woof@flyingfrank.com

I hope and pray with all my heart that the next time I write I can tell you of news about my next race...fingers, toes, paws, everything crossed.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The life of Ryan

2007-01-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

Watcha,

Well, listen I suppose first things first. I've got to say something about the picture that is beneath this posting. She's been in the news alot recently, has Miss Lloyd, and you are probably expecting the usual fare from me about her. The whole thing has been a bit unsavoury hasn't it? I think I'll leave it at that.

So anyway, there I was the other day, minding my own business in the dole queue and who should I bump into? None other than the fella who used to be in the pop group Blue...what's his name now? I've got it here somewhere...erm...Lou Ryan! That's it! No....Lee Ryan! sorry, it's very difficult to remember these people when they aren't on T4 anymore, isn't it? Anyway, he's a lover-lee bloke with the voice of an Angel. A Hells Angel you might say...no, he never leaves me feeling Blue, which is perhaps the most obvious pun in the world. Anyway, I need all the support I can get right now BECAUSE I AINT FLIPPIN RACING. Ask my trainer Jono why, but this is my reason for being, my livelihood and vocation in life AND THE FLIPPIN BLIGHTER WONT RACE ME...ahem, not that I'm getting a little bit concerned.

I suppose that the one saving grace is that my brief hiatus has allowed me to go into the studio and lay down some tracks in the studio with Lee and the other Blue boys (and Bobby Ball - we are calling it the 'Big Balls up'). Our tracks are going to be a combination of West African-influenced mozart-hip hop, all played on a ukaleley. Or something like that - he's a bit of a loose cannon is that Lee.

Right, so I am off.

Big shout out to my main man AB who is catching some rays for the next few weeks. Remember the open necked shirt/smart-casual look is fine, you know it makes sense.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Every nook and Dani

2007-01-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Hello Campers,

I hope 2007 has been treating you well so far. For me, well it's been a slow start to the year - one race (this last Tuesday) and I came fourth. Bumped by some mongrel on the bend, wasn't I? Darn it.

What's more, one of my very sexy lady friends has only gone inside the Celebrity big Brother House! That's right, Danielle Lloyd, Miss Great Bristol's herself, has gone and got herself on the telly. LUCKILY THOUGH....before she went in, she managed to send me a very special message, which you can see above.

The Playboy bit is of course a reference to the shoot she did for the magazine..she actually asked me whether she should do it..."what's the Big Bother" , I said? I suppose the rest is history but I hope that when Sigmund, as I call her( as in Sigmund Freud...Lloyd), leaves the TV show she still has time for the love of her life, The Flyer.

I'll tell you this - when we are together we have one Danielle of a time. When she's out, if she doesn't pick up the phone and give me a Davina McCall, I will no longer consider her a model friend. Doubtless she's made a few new pals whilst she's been in there, but as I was Leo Sayering to someone only the other day, she hardly leaves me (Carole) Malone usually, so I am sure she hasn't forgotten where her bread is buttered.

And as for that Teddy Sheringham chap she's 'dating' - she don't need a nip of Sheri when I'm a-hound, let me tell you!

That's all for now - keep it all coming to woof@flyingfrank.com people. Love you all.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

The Other Flying Frank

2006-12-22T08:36:00.000-08:00

Merry Crimbo my old chums. Actually, Christmas time always reminds me of...erm Christmas.

I don't think the above picture needs much of an introduction. Eager readers of www.flyingfrank.com will know that this is the celeb picture I have been after for a while, the big one - the other Flying Frank, Lampard, who named himself after me.

I was delighted that the Chels-flea and Eng-grrrrr-land midfielder has finally been able to admit he is a fan and show some overdue respect to the one and only Dog with a Blog. I mean, I am already good pals with alot of the folk over at Chelsea - like my close pal Didier Dog-ba and old Pedigree Chum John Terry-ier. Because of that, it was good to finally grant the young lad an audience with his idol. It all came about when I was doing some of my now-famous Christmas visits to those less fortunate than me. I am not sure whether it was the Mourinho-meister or not, but someone phoned up Jono, my trainer (and self-styled Abramovitch of the greyhound world), and asked if I would make a special visit to the Magic Lamp (as I call him) and some of the other underpriveldiged kids at Stamford Bridge who were feeling a bit blue (they have to work on Christmas day you know!).

As a result of my pep-talk with The Flyer ( not me, him) I took him down to see me at Walthamstow last week, where he could view a real champ in action. I think he got alot out of it (must be the Scampi, chips and pint which HE STILL HASN'T PAID ME BACK FOR)...and best of all, he got to see me romp home to a cheeky victory just before Christmas.

Actually, Christmas time always reminds me of the time I met Frank's lady friend, Ellen. ho, ho, ho and all that.

I don't have much more to say to you - if i don't speak to you before have a great Christmas and keep your eyes peeled for my next race.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank (The original and only dog with a Blog)

P.S - A big you-never-write-you-never-call-i-never-even-got-a-bleeding-christmas-card shout out to my owners at Frank PR who have just won 'PR Agency of the Year 2006' for the second year in a row...you can check them out at www.frankpr.it

Turner-ing the corner

2006-11-17T09:48:00.000-08:00

Yo Blair! (as I once said to the Prime Minister)

What a week. What a only-the-most-important-race-of-my-life week! After a year of plying my trade in the Ryman Premier League of greyhound racing (shout out to my pal Marvin, the Bergkamp of Borehamwood FC), on Tuesday night I graduated to the Chumpions League of the sport. Bit more later on that, first a bit of housekeeping:

That race I told you about in my last post, I came third. W (it stands for Whatever. It's what all the young dogs are saying down the kennells, whilst they listen to Snoop and Pawtishead on their i-pups). Who gives a Flying Frank? got bigger fish to fry...

...like this race on Tuesday night just gone. 'Twas the Racing Post Festival down at The Stow. It doesn't get much bigger than that I can tell you. Even Sky Sports were there, complete with presenter legend Gary Newbon, or The Borbon as I call him (he really takes the biscuit). £1000 on offer for the winner of my race - as opposed to the usual ton (which those tight-fisted hoodlums at Frank PR never show me anyway). A massive crowd was there to cheer me and the stow was busier than the family planning clinic on Essex high road.

So why on earth did I stuff up big time, come fifth and embarass myself infront of literally dozens of avid SKY TV greyhound fans?

You tell me. Answers on a postcard to woof@flyingfrank.com

Anyway, as I woke up in a bout of depression on Wednesday morning, I had a note that dropped into my basket. It was from my good friend (and one-time lover) Anthea Turner, who sent the above message to me. Bunsen as I call her (Bunsen Burner - Anthea Turner), has always Turner-ed me on. I met her through her sister Tina and ever since then she has kept in touch. Infact, since she got married she has taken to sending me regular boxes of Cadbury's Snowflakes. Enough already - surely it's someone elses Turn.

It could be that Bunsen's chocolate has been what has been hampering me in recent races. Since Wednesday I have had a pure diet of only Water, Pedigree Chum and Ladies. I am focused for my next race - this Saturday night, 8.15pm at The Stow.

Watch this space, racing fans.

Enough for now,

Shabbat Shalom

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Seeing Red

2006-11-02T11:16:00.000-08:00

Hello fans and fellow Triple F's

Some timely advice this week, as you can see in the message from my good friend, confidant and bank manager, Jamie Redknapp.

"Don't get caught Red-knapping" the former international midfielder and heart-throb muses.

And I tell you, he knows as much about conditioning The Flyer as his old man does about Football management. You see, I won last week and I need good friends like Redders to keep my feet on the ground. As a result, I was only too happy to take on his advice. You see, I have known him and his wife Louise for some time. An Eternalaty, you could say. He was a great lad with a ball at his feet and he hasn't changed since he retarted from football. If you know your French you will understand what I mean when I say: J'aime Jamie. The only thing that really annoys me about him is that he is so flippin' good looking and so flippin' good at football. I mean, surely you should only have, as a maximum, one of those things?

Anyway, enough about the JamieRedknapptheonewhousedtoplayforLiverpool-meister and more about The flyer-meister. Following my victory last week, Jono my trainer has entered me into a race tonight at the Stow. 19.58pm is the time of the race and if you are smart you will see that that is in half an hour. You are probably wondering how I am writing this so close to the race....I'm keeping it under my hat for now, but answers on a postcard...

Enough for now.

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S - Shout going out to the Frank PR posse - loved what you came up with!

Nifty at Fifty

2006-10-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

Just a little note to say I've now reached my half century of races! Not bad for a dog from the backstreets of Cork, eh? And they said I'd be glue before you know it! My record, for the aficionados amongst you, is:

Run: 50
Won: 11
Ladies: 94

And my sight is still perfect! To celebrate, I'll be running in my 51st race, tomorrow night at the Stow, 7.44pm. And they don't come much bigger: three hundred notes to the winner, plus trophy, plus first dibs on the future Mrs Flyer when i get back to the Kennels.
Will let you know how I get on - watch this space!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

A Sweeney Prod

2006-09-08T03:02:00.000-07:00

Anyhow, been a very busy few weeks, my recent results looking promising...infact I have had two massive wins (& trophy's) in the last ten days, with my most recent victory coming last night down at the Stow. There were a few things that I was very pleased about from last nights performance:

1) My starting price was 5-1. That's a few more english pounds under my vest, let me tell you (and boy, did I celebrate - hair of the dog this morning or what!)

2) My biggest prize money to date - £175. That'll be sent home to the family in Ireland I can tell you.

3) I beat that Club Jewel dog. Always riled me has CJ, and it pleases me no end to be giving her an absolute walloping on an ongoing basis

The only fly in the ointment is that the boys and girls from Frank PR couldn't make it last night. They 'claim' that they didn't know I was racing...hmmm, not sure about that one. See you on Saturday Chaps/Chappesses?

Anyhow, seeing as this is my only day off before I race again tomorrow (Can you believe it?!), Jono has decided to let me get near the yaptop and post online. Imagine my delight too, when I log on and see that my good friend and Thespiana (for that is the correct term for a female actor) Claire Sweeney has decided to drop me a line (see above) as well as a photo of support. What a great girl she is - I know she is busy at the moment up on stage with that Fattrick Swayze fella in 'Guys & Dolls' but she is such a sweeneyheart and always has time for her old mucker, the Flyer. Infact, I could not make this any more Clairer than it already is - we are very, very close friends and whilst I can't divulge the exact nature of our relationship, I can tell you that only last week I visited her London hotel and gave her a right royal.....sorry, my lawyers tell me I have to stop there. A right royal shake of the hand, followed by a lengthly debate on Economic reform, I think is what they would prefer I say.

I need to get off now to go and prepare for tomorrow. Around 7.48 at Walthamstow if you're interested.Byyee for now...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Busy Bee

2006-07-30T03:38:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a busy time, the last few weeks or so.

You will notice that the last time I blogged was the 6th July. "Why so long ago?", I hear you asking (I have very good hearing you see and I can hear you asking that from all the way over here in Claverhambury).

Is it because The Flyer doesn't care about his fans anymore? No way, Jose. That's not the case, I need all the fans I can get (Jono's turned the air con off, you see)

Is it because 'The Regime' don't like this blog? It's true, they don't like it but there is nowt they can do about it, so worry ye not

Is it because The Flyer has run out of celebrity fans to put on flyingfrank.com? YOU ARE HAVING A GIRAFFE. I have got more 'sleb friends than you could shake a stick at, but I choose to put them up in my own time. Mind you, I am still after the real-life Flying Frank Lampard. IF ANYONE SEES HIM, LET ME KNOW, I AM DESPERATE FOR IT.

No, the simple reason that I haven't posted is that I have been busier than David Beckenham's tattoo artist. Run off my feet I have been, with a mammoth six races in the last 24 days. It's busy this hurdling lark, but you won’t find me complaining. No Siree. It keeps everyone happy, not least of all the boys and girls who own me at Frank PR, who have seen me win again. My results in that time have been:

6th July - 5th place
8th July - 3rd place
15th July - WINNER
22nd July - 2nd place
27th July - 4th place
29th July - 5th place

Up and down results, I'll grant you, which is why it was good to hear from my good mate, Gaz, lead singer of the band Supergrass. His message reads "Flying Frank - you are a Superdog". Good lad - He's Alright, is Gaz. We met a few years ago and found that we had alot in common. We're young, we're free, and we both keep our teeth nice and clean, that sort of thing. And if anyone can name any of their other songs for me to make a couple of jokes about, let me know at woof@flyingfrank.com

Right, best be off then. It's Sunday, which is visitor’s day at the kennels. It's the day when the owners of the dogs are invited to come and visit. Except my owners are probably too busy making some PR or whatever (they never write, they never call...).

See ya for now - and anyone who comes across Flying Frank Lampard, you know where to find me...

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Club Tool

2006-07-06T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I didn't do fantastic in my race last week....fifth in fact. Never really got going from the start and my fast-becoming-nemesis, Club Jewel didn't fare much better. Luckily my handler, Dave the part-timer, kept us well apart at the track, otherwise CJ would have found himself getting well and truly Flying Franked.

Anyway, the wannabe, pretender-to-the-throne has sent me the following message:

Dear Frying Flank,

I see we’ve been scheduled for a re-match tonight. Bring it on!
The public just can’t get enough of us.
Don’t expect to get anywhere near that winner’s podium though cos there’s a spot reserved for me and there certainly ain’t room for the two of us.

I just hope you like the view of my backside - that’s all you’ll be seeing come 7.58.

I’ll treat you to hare ‘n’ chips after the race to show there’s no hard feelings.

See you tonight, Dog Breath.

Altogether now - 1,2, 3: WHATEVER!!

Yes, it's true, we are racing against each other tonight and I suppose it's a kind offer from CJ to treat me to hare 'n' chips after the race, although I can do without him rabbitting on all night. We shall see.

In any case, a really good mate of mine, Tricky Trevor Brooking, has sent a message in (see above) which should leave you in no doubt who his favourite dog is. Sir Tricky Trevalot (as I know him) is an old mate, not to mention loyal. Although you already know that, seeing as he played for West Ham for many years. Always went on about blowing bubbles. Strange fellow.
Anyway, on with the William Hill stakes, at the Stow tonight, 19.58pm - a trophy race, no less.
wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Racey fella

2006-06-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

Thought you might like to know when my next personal appearance was going to be...er, tonight.

Jono has booked me into an open race tonight at the Stow. Open race meaning that any Tom, Dick or Harry can try and take on the Original Frankster. Bring 'em on, I say. It's the 20.48 'Four Handed Retirement Hurdle' race, which reminds me of a very good night some time back....anyhow, it'll be tough, but I'm looking forward to it.

Bit of a pain actually, because I was already booked to do a meet and great Jumpin' Jaks in Darlington, my old haunt. Shame. That's thirty quid (plus expenses) I'll never see again.
The main competitor I have in the race tonight is some fella called Club Jewel. Club Fool, more like. Let's just say we have a history. He's owned by a syndicate called the Four Tops and I will put it like this: When we are flying round the bends, he better not so much as Reach Out - (cos) I'll be there.

Wish me luck!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

Frankie's Beck in Town

2006-06-27T01:36:00.000-07:00

Watcha Peeps. It's onwards and upwards round these parts, I tell ya. At the start of the year, it went from bard to verse. Then I ditched the Shakespeare and I took some time out. It's an open secret that a 'rest' was forced on me by Jono, my trainer and I wasn't too happy about it. We nearly had some 'artistic differences', lets say. Or, to not put too fine a point on it, Jono nearly had some enforced 'artistic differences' with certain areas of his anatomy. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have now retrained as a hurdler and last Saturday night was my third race in my new discipline.

As you can see from the brief posting below, I came fifth in my first race and runner-up in my second. Well on Saturday night I was back where I belong. Biggest night of the week at Walthamstow, all the lovely ladies done up to the nines, the smell of scampi and chips wafting through the air....and a lovely present promised to be from my current squire if I do the business.

There is only one option in these situations, one thing I can do. Run like the clappers, in the true spirit of Flying Frank Lampard (my hero) and give it everything.

Guess what.

I only flipping well won. What a night, what a result. I won. I burger-flippin, chip-frying, chilli-sauce pouring, salmonella catchingly-well won. Top of the pile, King of the hill. I'm back.

As if that wasn't enough motivation, when I got home, there was this lovely message (see above) from my good friend Becks. You might not know this, but he actually used to work at The Stow as a glass collector in his youth. Ever since then, we have become bosom buddies. I guess the seeds of our friendship were sown when we went for a really expensive slap-up chicken meal at a fancy restaurant. Always did have a thing for a Posh Bird. After that, we would meet up all the time, especially for me to give him fashion advice (although once I got it Sarong it was embarrassing). Anyway, we still keep in touch now that he is at Real Muttrid (Grrrronaldo is another good mate) and I was touched with his message.

I don't want to go into it too much, but there was a little embarrassing incident that happened at the weekend with me and the big man. You know how he was sick in the middle of the Ecuador game on Sunday? Well...guilty as charged! Let's just say we got together the night before and let our hair down, the next thing you know it was: one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR**!

Hey ho, onwards and upwards got to go and do a celebrity appearance at Bluewater shopping centre with The Chuckle Brothers. Will let you know when my next race is!

Peace. Love. Woof.

Flying Frank

P.S. - A big shout out to my latest homeboy and Triple F (Friend of Flying Frank), Mr Ian H, who now joins the flyingfrank.com Hall of Fame with the other members. Keep spreading the FF love, Sir!

** David Beckham's lawyers have asked flyingfrank.com to point out that Mr Beckham did not stay up the night before the Ecuador game drinking Tequila and that this tale is in fact made up by Flying Frank. It was Bourbon.