Follow The String

Food Adventure: Gram & Dun

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 18:28:00 +0000

Most people know I’m crazy about food. I’m getting really into the making and technique of it, so when I have the chance to go to a new restaurant, I always find lots of inspiration and try to figure out how to do it at home. (My FAVORITE food blogger, Ali, is fantastic at taking restaurant recipes home at Gimme Some Oven.)

I’ve cooked for the last 3 nights and was ready for some inspiration at another of the newest KC restaurants to open – Gram & Dun. This beautiful renovation is in the former Baja 600 on the Plaza. I’ve quickly become a HUGE fan of Bread & Butter’s restaurants and their unique twist on seasonal ingredients. I love Urban Table & BRGR, and with each new spot, they keep elevating American farm to table food in new and exciting ways.

The renovation is GORGEOUS, and all the beautiful KC people (and some tourists, I imagine) were out in force on a Tuesday to check it out. The restaurant was almost full. Our waitress kept a nice, relaxed pace, and one of the things that surprised me most was that you’re only started with a drink menu. Although it took about 20 minutes to sift through that (with her expert opinion, I ordered an Old Fashioned to warm me from the inside) and get our drinks, before we saw a dinner menu, it was nice to not dive into business straight away.

A note about drinks: I’m not really into cocktail creating, but after sampling new creations on area menus, I’m wondering about delving into it. Their Old Fashioned was so inspired! The (literal) cherry on top were housemade maraschino cherries that were large, sour and sweet candied things that were a lovely addition to the syrupy bourbon and bitters. I’m hooked.

We decided to pace through each course and split everything, which is usually our approach.

Our menu:
French Onion Dumplings (gruyere, sweet onion broth, brioche crouton)
Seared Ahi Tuna Salad (watercress, bean sprouts, wontons, peanuts, seasame, chili ginger vinaigrette)
Duck Pappardelle Pasta (duck confit, red wine, roasted fennel, orange & watercress)

Drinks:
Hubs: Goose Island Matilda
Moi: Old Fashioned (sugar cane, orange slice, bitters, Maker’s Mark, luxardo maraschino cherries)
*Descriptions from their menu

The first course was BY FAR my favorite. 6 toothpicked bites came out on a rectangular platter - carmelized onions are wrapped up like a coin purse in a wonton wrapper with broiled cheese oozing down the sides, swimming in the soupy, savory broth. I damn near licked the plate and will try to make these perfect little pillows for my next party.

Our server suggested we didn’t have them split up the salad course, since it was a “presentation,” and she was not kidding. They stacked the layers of wonton, tuna and veggie elements in 4 colorful layers - sort of like a pile of edible sheets of paper. Raw, red tuna is so beautiful, and it really starred here against the green and yellow shades of veg and the orange/red drizzle of dressing. The dressing was a little on the spicy side, but a sip of hub’s beer cut through it perfectly. (The bourbon and spice had my mouth dancing a little bit.)

By the time we got to the pasta, I was winding down, but the slow cooked, tender duck was a beautiful pair with the (what I assume were) housemade ribbons of papardelle in the red wine gravy sauce. (I love this style of pasta since it holds chunkier meats and sauces well.) I’m not sure that I’d go back to this entrée again, since I didn’t really catch the brightness of the orange and fennel, but it is an excellent savory choice for winter. Next time, I’ll be nose deep in their short ribs.

Lately I’ve been craving desserts at dinner, but we skipped it last night since it was late and our tummies were full. Hubs read the menu, but I wouldn’t even peek at it. On our next trip, I’ve got to see if their Gram & Dun bar is anything like a Snickers (one of my favorite things).

All in all – we had excellent service, and a great experience. The beautiful new interior and inventive food makes G&D a perfect place to go for a night with friends or family. You should definitely check it out. It’s a little loud for an intimate date, but I saw plenty of people on one, and overheard a sweet conversation at the table next to us. It reminded me of our first dates, and the many new restaurants we explored as we got to know each other better. Good times.

The more things change...

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:39:00 +0000

Hey guys…remember me? It’s been awhile since I’ve written here, and I’m not sure anyone outside of the people I’ll let know will even remember who I am.

Life has changed a BUNCH.

What fun to go back and see where the story left off – almost exactly 3 years to the day. In the interim I:

-Got married to Mr. Man a year ago

-Moved back to the KS side of our city

-Decided that the church nonsense below wasn’t worth it, and God walked us around in a circle until we ended up back at the same place again with a different viewpoint

-Got our car stolen…and returned 8 days later (There’ll be a post about this. Promise.)

-Have dealt with serious family illnesses and a death, and am seeing what is emerging from the chaos

-Saw an upheaval in my friendships and have an almost new community

-Learned to cherish and respect my immediate family more as we went through the wedding process

-Have begun the process of starting our family and am sifting through what it means when it isn’t coming together quickly

-Have come to love (and laugh at) how we repeat the same patterns in our lives. Mine is usually larger and more full of upheaval than most everyone I know.

-Spent more hours than I thought possible in my kitchen. And I’m pretty damn good in there.

-Oh yeah, and I turned 30.

So this is a totally new decade. And I’m ready to talk about it. And dream. And see what the hell comes of it all.

I’ve missed this, and you guys. 

the church part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:15:00 +0000

Thanks to all for the encouragement, feedback, etc. That's what makes this all so rich. We still don't have it figured out, but I thought I'd ruminate a bit to see where this new stuff settles.

I'm realizing what sort of power the church as community shouldn't have for me. Sometimes (and as Myles referenced) people leave churches...or friendships...or families for entirely too few reasons. They are proud or bruised or selfish or afraid. I've reached out harder and stuck through the pain to not be one of those people.

We were driving home from Thanksgiving when Mr. Man made a brilliant observation: We're not trying to leave this particular church. It just seems to be leaving us.

I'm reminded of all those moments in my early faith where people counseled me to reach out and rebuke some sort of sin in the people around me. To be sure, there's time for that, but I'll be damned if it's gonna come unsolicited from people I sort of know.

This would be dangerous if I didn't have anyone else, but that's what I've got my friends and family around me for. I've chosen to trust them and give them that sort of freedom to speak unto me. I also trust God pretty implcitly to do this. (He's got a damn loud voice.)

But I haven't given this churchy group of people, who though I like and respect, that sort of reach. It'd be one thing if I surrounded myself with yes men and women, but I haven't. (As those of you who know my girls can attest.)

I've chosen to surround myself with people who empower me and trust in my ability to make the right decisions. I've earned it after making some really bad ones, and working through some horrendous ones, I know the boundaries of a healthy life for myself.

But back to the issue of abandoning or sticking it out: Churches, and a lot of well-meaning people in them, have really bought into the idea that we need to stick and get beat up and wrestle with our "church." I know that Paul talks a lot about the body, but where is this Biblical idea that we're supposed to spend our lives in one community? We change and evolve and find natural reasons to go different places. Shouldn't our ultimate devotion be getting to find God?

If a good thing is the church as an ultimate testing ground, we can find it in other places too. We go to work and encounter lots of people who will give God plenty of space to push us. I'm just thinking that the main place you go to find him and be vulnerable shouldn't be this frought with chastisement.

We get to thinking that true nobility or righteousness involves some sort of struggling and wrestling. And a lot of the time it does. But we have the choice of whom we'll hear that truth from. Life is far too hard and precious to spend it wrestling with people, who, from what I've seen proved, seem to not want to care about us beyond our circumstance.

So I've actually let go of quite a lot of the hurt. And I'm glad I've felt it. I'm hoping to go and sit in the back of our church in the next few weeks and see if I still feel anything close to comfortable. Because like it or not, you've gotta be able to be true and vulnerable to see a semblance of God.

happy day

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 00:41:00 +0000

so to cope with the issues of late, I'm enjoying:

-wine
-the fact that a 4-state tour with family is ahead of me
-iTUNES!!!! they're back on my computer after a 1.5 year hiatus. first purchases: John Legend's Evolver and Amos Lee's new stuff.

gobble gobble with a groove, y'all.

The church

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:27:00 +0000

I've stolen away some time this evening to be by myself and reflect on a situation that's yielding some tough questioning, doubt and hurt.

Mr. Man and I find ourselves at odds with our church over our living situation and whether that will limit our ability to serve as members in volunteer positions. Of course it's much murkier than that, but that's the jist.

To start - I'm going to try really hard not to bag on the people, though we disagree. It's been a beautiful place and this hiccup is just making me a little confused. Though they've been better than other churches we've encountered, that we were approached at all is causing us to reassess. After my 3 years there (and his 7+), do we feel like it's still our home?

The point that is puzzling my puzzler tonight is about how much authority the church should be granted. Most of you know that I'm inclined to ceede very little, thank you very much, to people I don't personally choose. But is this reality? Is my membership in any large organization part and parcel with some sort of "right" to tell me what's what? This gets even murkier when the Bible gets involved and all sorts of scripture about pastoral authority gets bandied about.

I'm proud of us for sticking in the muck and sorting through it without just huffing off mad. Stuff that stings this much and feels invasive has the tendency to grow and change us - though the process can be awful. It's my hope that God will keep doing what He's always done and lead me into something that is relevant and speaks to my life now. He's been all about moving me forward and healing me, and no frustration or hurt from other people will dispell that truth.

So to be clear - I'm not having a crisis of doubt about Him. It's about how I learn and follow Him.

One thing I'm tossing out there - and will honestly welcome the dialogue about - is the role of leadership or servants in a church and what standards can be expected of them. I'm of the opinion that unless you are exhibiting destructive behavior that affects others, there's really nothing that should stop you from being a full member. Maybe this belief will lead me towards another community of more open-minded believers (I've been looking at the United Church of Christ), or maybe it will lead me to the conclusion that church can be seperate from your own community (and mine is FULL of open-minded believers).

So that's the rub this fine Sunday night. I've gone from being pissed to humble, back to pissed and am settling on something close to adult reflection. More to come...

My heart melts with gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 03:38:00 +0000

My favorite women gathered in my home tonight for a beautiful feast.

My favorite man came home early to make a turkey for us.

We had such a wonderful time laughing and making connections.

The food was lovingly prepared and wonderful.

Craig held Jonah as he fell asleep.

I laughed and looked around my home as it was filled to the brim with love.

There is nothing wrong in my world. I am so lucky and blessed.

Yes we can

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:47:00 +0000

...elect a president who rewrites history
...again become a nation that strives to succeed and fail TOGETHER
...overcome the divisiveness that has ruled Washington and bled into our towns
...vow to remain committed to our local communities and ride this wave to local changes
...pledge to hold our MO election board accountable for HORRENDOUS voting conditions
...swim around in this moment and take a breath knowing that we've been heard
...hold Obama to his word with our communications to a man that will listen
...see this nation as a hospitable world neighbor again
...know that this is the day the Lord has made
...walk taller and prouder
...start searching for a woman to break history in my lifetime

Dear clamoring reader(s)

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:53:00 +0000

:)

I start and end with Ms. Anne Lamott's genius: "Life is terribly time consuming." Agreed. Life has been full of new schedules and all the things that life becomes. Since I last wrote:

-Obama appears poised to make a real go of it (GET OUT AND VOTE ON NOV 4!!!!)

-The new job has begun and it's great. The people at the University of Kansas Hospital are incredibly smart and professional. I had my first event last week and it went well. I'm getting used to totally new systems AND the fact that my wardrobe needed a serious business upgrade. No jeans EVER. For real.

-I'm trying to dig myself out of merely existing. I've been kicking a cold for a week or so now and with all these changes, I get home and camp out on the couch for a few hours. It's not making me smarter, but it is getting me caught up on Heroes. Which you should all start watching.

-To that end, I'm hoping to revive the old flames of my fall inspiration with getting my hands on some Wendell Berry and sitting outside for a bit. Nature brings me back to myself and reminds me of how big God is.

-Mr. Man and I are getting into a really fantastic time. We know each other's foibles and quirks. (We love and are loved in return as Mr. Berry would say.) In the midst of this, because we live together (in sin, some assert), we're facing some pretty craptastic scrutiny from people I haven't given permission to. So we're loving each other harder, giving thanks for those of you that love us, even if you wouldn't make the same choice, and we are remembering that God loves the mess out of us no matter what.

-So, we end in a place of hope and faith. For political hope. For a new job that fulfills. For a love that flourishes and is appreciated. We go on as Anne Lammot asserts: "Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Indeed.

Sayanora

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 16:15:00 +0000

I have less than an hour left at the Zoo, and it's a bittersweet moment. This place is beautiful and fantastic, and I learned so much last year creatively.

It is, however, time to move on.

But before I get to that, Mr. Man and I are taking a little road trip for some much needed relaxing and we're off this afternoon. Keep your fingers crossed for great weather and fun stories.

So to my Zoo buds, I'll miss you much. To the new folks I'll be working with...I'm coming your way!!!

selah, part 2

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:41:00 +0000

Some mornings I wake up and spend some time in prayer. When I do this, my day begins calmly. I feel an all-pervasive sense of peace through my spirit.

Monks and other devout followers of Christ are used to employing a daily set of readings to pause on the hour or throughout the day in set, reflective prayer over the scriptures. A helpful guide for me has been a book of daily prayers called The Divine Hours. This morning, I read this.

What caught my heart was the gospel reading:

Jesus taught us, saying: ‘And so I tell you this: use money, tainted as it is, to win you friends, and thus make sure that when it fails you, they will welcome you into eternal dwellings. Anyone who is trustworthy in little things is trustworthy in great; anyone who is dishonest in little things is dishonest in great. If then you are not trustworthy with money, that tainted thing, who will trust you with genuine riches? And if you are not trustworthy with what is not yours, who will give you what is your very own? No servant can be the slave of two masters: he will either hate the first and love the second, or be attached to the first and despise the second. You cannot be the slave of both God and of money.’
Luke 16:9–13

It gave me pause to think of how I spend my last days here at the Zoo. Will I be productive and good to these people, leaving them in good stead, or will I abandon the privilege to serve them? I make that decision several times a day and lately, I most often choose to abandon service for laziness. If God trusts me with the smallest details and compels me to handle them with duty and mercy, then I must do so. I was humbled.

Following this moment of reflection I turned on the TV to hear a commentator interviewed by Meredith Viera about Sarah Palin’s inconsistencies on her foreign policy record. When asked if he had a problem with her campaign asserting that she’s been to Iraq and Ireland (she’s been to Kuwait, and her plane LANDED in Ireland, so that was close enough for them), he said these were “small” details we shouldn't be concerned with.

My friends – are we really that sort of people? People who will not directly answer a question or will out and out deceive each other to win? I do not aspire to be that sort of person. I will not elect those sort of people to assist with our governance.

As I reflect upon yesterday’s post and the comments section, this is what I meant to convey.

Every day we make little choices about how to live with honor. The first way we demonstrate that is in our smallest behaviors. We further show our devotion to God by not being afraid of the truth, and speaking it.

I am not perfect. Barack Obama is not perfect. Sarah Palin is not perfect. But we must tell the truth. We must esteem and elect leaders who do the same.

selah...

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 20:52:00 +0000

"But I know that I'm your favorite
And I said "Amen"
Neko Case - Favorite

There’s been a lot floating around my noggin lately, so I felt like sharing.

First, the election. I just know that deep, deep down, I really believe in all that Barack Obama is about. He doesn’t lie, he’s held to his positions, and most importantly, we think pretty darn similarly about things. I do believe that people should vote for who they believe in, so it’s taking a lot of tongue-biting (as Ms. Lamott does far more eloquently) to understand why people are supporting McCain/Palin when there’s been so much lying as of late. I won’t snark about it, because lord knows enough commentators are doing that, but this sh*t isn’t bending the truth as politicians often do. It’s out and out lying, and Sir, Madam – I am offended that you think we’re too stupid to remember what you’ve said 2 days ago.

Regardless of whether you’ll vote for a man I think could revolutionize equality in this country through health care, economic stimulus and the general willingness to dialogue, I encourage EVERYONE to register to vote this year. Do it today. There's an easy to use tool on the Obama site that lets you check your status. I thought I was registered, and it turns out I wasn't. That would have sucked on Nov. 4.

Moving a bit closer to home, I’ve been tending my garden and life’s starting to yield some exciting fruit. My peeps already know this, but I just got a new job and I’m really excited! I’ll be staying in marketing and event coordination, but the pace will be easier to manage throughout the year than what I'm doing. My last day at the Zoo will be Sept. 26 and then I'm taking some much needed R&R with Mr. Man on a little road trip to Nashville by way of St. Louis and Memphis. Any travel suggestions are welcomed :)

The job gift is another example of how incomparably cool God is to Ms. Ally. We spent a medium amount of time talking on my front porch about this, but ultimately, I think we crossed an important threshold of conversation. The process worked like this: I know that He’s God and loves me. I roll forward excitedly in the new plan. The new plan doesn’t happen as quickly as I like. Freak and panic ensues. God provides and we move on. The threshold crossed: the old Ally would have freaked and panicked around 3 more times. Good show.

But wait, there’s more! Part of this job move and my front porch prayer time is an exciting new opportunity to return to school as soon as January. I’ve been swimming around in the idea of teaching high school English and there’s a program here that would let me pursue a master’s while simultaneously completing any undergrad requirements I would’ve needed. I’m just starting on this path, but after visiting my first classroom a week ago, I’m anxious to see where a little instruction could send my heart. It’d be about 3 years from now, but I get sort of giddy about the idea of reading Pablo Neruda with a 16 year old who just had her heart broken (Tonight I can Write the Saddest Lines).

So that's me. It's been a crazy summer and from what I can see, the fun doesn't slow down anytime soon. I'm trying to learn how to be still and find quality ways to rest in all that life brings. Things have changed a lot since I started writing this, and I hear that this is the way life goes.

The ride continues, dear readers. I hope you are all well and if you're around in KC, let's sit and have a Fall themed ale soon, shall we? You can find a way into my heart by sending congratulatory gifts of this. I'll even share.

Those who put their hope in you

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:36:00 +0000

I give up and You give in and meet me in the middle. You redeem me, pull me up and remind me that you care for all your creatures.

A secret: I long to possess a deeply abiding love that reaches out even when hurt. I ache to do good work. I am sick and need you to resurrect me from this lazy boredom. I'm still afraid deep down inside.

But your love, the truest, most selfless love is the answer to all of this. When I return to my heart and its deep pulsing, I return to the quiet truth - when it's not all about me, this life is technicolor. It's full of peace and grace and struggle and the real marrow of things. It's about community.

It's time. It's time to truly return - to let go of my frustration and lack of clarity, giving up on my selfish self for a minute or a day.

I hope today to be a primed canvas, a sharply listening ear, lips primed for prayer.

chuckle

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 20:07:00 +0000

I’ve never been good with patience or waiting things out. I wish I could say I felt bad about this, but that’s just not true. I suppose that the essence of a spirit that likes charging ahead is that it’s most comfortable with being in control. Quite simply, patience seems to be the antithesis of progress. Ergo, patience isn’t something I’ve wanted to “practice” in my free time.

I sort of figured that God in his divine beauty would be cool with this. Here’s the rub: God seems stubbornly convinced that I’m due a lesson.

As I’ve gotten quiet each day to talk through what to do about schoolandworkandmakingmoneyandtimingandloveandlifeand
successandwhatI'dbehappiestdoing

(breathe)

He speaks simply to me and gives little by way of answer except these whispers:

Trust in me.
Know that I provide for the lilies of the field.
Surely I’ve got something in mind for you.

My heart knows this. Each time we meet each other, I’m driven to tears by that truth. My head knows this. As I read verse after verse after verse to testify to it, I know it deep.

So why can I not learn it into behavior?

I think this may be the real test of our faith, the real building up of it. God simply tells us that he has it covered, and we are to wait. Faith is born. If this process happens enough over our lifetime, it works itself into our marrow. Maybe it works itself so deep that our head and heart no longer need reassurance. At that point, it is as natural as breathing to us.

I can only hope that this is the truth I walk towards as God and I tug and pull and tussle so. For the millionth time, I wait on the Lord. I have made such little progress as we’ve walked this road, save this: Today, I can laugh at it.

I laugh that we have been down this road so many times. I chuckle to think of the absurdity of a spirit’s reconviction and repentance. Each time it feels so novel and new and worked up. God must find this as hilarious as a child who tells the same joke over and over again. We will always return for the show. For His approval and guidance. And every time, he’ll laugh and clap and give us feedback.

So, laughably, I will wait on Him and keep moving forward. He is a God who shuts doors just as easily as He opens them. So I will stumble and laugh and keep going with my gut.

Gobama...Gobama!

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 14:17:00 +0000

Holy buckets. So, you know I love our boy Barack. I've been a little nervous the last few days with all the excellent Clinton speakin' and Biden taking off the gloves. I was worried when he first came out and waxed poetic for awhile. For the Hilary supporters and undecideds, he needed to spell.it.out. And DAMN. Did he ever.

I loved pretty much everything he advocated for, but I'm a little hazy on exactly how we'll cut our dependence on foreign oil in just 10 years. I guess he'll be out of office by then and it'll be Hilary's problem, right? :) More details to come, I hope.

I knew he had this in him. Obama was in KC earlier this week and I heard part of his speech where he talked at length about how he'll implement social security reform (taxing the bracket from $100-$250K at a higher level) and how he'll make college affordable for all kids (giving reimbursements for volunteer work...though I'm unclear on where the cash comes from). I was excited to hear a prelude to what I saw last night. He's getting so good at anticipating what needs to be said. I'm proud to support him.

So, this morning I got an email from Biden and read the best line that has ever been added to a donation request:

"This new phase of the campaign will move quickly. By the time you read this, we may even know who John McCain has chosen to be the next Dick Cheney."

Way to pull the rug out from under McCain's Veep pick. I love you Joe Biden.

my favorite words

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:46:00 +0000

Everyone has a triple word score word. A gem of a word that is kept in your verbal arsenal for unexpected gatherings at a friend's home where snooty English majors might appear.

I love such words. I file them away in a mysterious mental catacomb that I imagine looks like the files of one mixed-up Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.

These are my cherry picked favorites...at least upon quick recollection:

minutia: A small or trivial detail.

supercilious: Feeling or showing haughty disdain.

xenophobe: One unduly fearful or contemptuous of strangers or foreigners.

lexicon: A specialized vocabulary.

catbird seat: A position of great prominence or advantage .

beleaguer: To harass: beset.

flummox: To confuse: perplex.

onomatopoeia: The formation or use of words such as buzz or murmur that imitate the sounds associated with the objects or actions they refer to.

tuesday night plans

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:40:00 +0000

I do wish that I wrote something for fun or reflection every day.

Not practicing the craft leaves your brain wandering. The first few sessions in front of my computer are merciless.

But if I visit my journal, and spend some time surrounded by nature, the pen begins to drip.
drip drop, plip plop
We wrestle and writhe in furious bouts
of languid prose.
I am a step ahead of my hand,
able to correct small errors in a single neurological tic.

Ahhh...we become one, the surrounding land and my humanness. I feel more free when I depart. Ready to tackle life's minutia again.

Getting ready to jump OR Big decisions for Ally

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:17:00 +0000

I woke in bits, like all children, piecemeal over the years. I discovered myself and the world, and forgot them, and discovered them again. – Annie Dillard

I am waking up bit by bit these days. The murky fog of frustration has sat heavy upon me. It has followed with such persistence that I chuckle at the resemblance I must make to Linus from Peanuts.

I have tried to push my hands through the film to glimpse a sliver of daylight. Its crystal clear realization has been a long time coming and it flooded in like pure white hope.

The next part is apparent. It is just past the ledge before me. I am so very close. So ready to jump discover a new part of myself. So ready for the next chapter.

Upon my approach, I am quaking a bit internally, but sure as I’ll ever be. (Besides, I’ve seen that all the good jumps make your tummy flip-flop a bit.)

Closer and closer we inch…

****
Tomorrow: stretching before the jump

sounds of the city

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 20:44:00 +0000

The humid air licks my toes while a soft breeze picks up -
a welcome respite from our oppressive heat.

A secret dream:
My spirit wriggles and writhes in anticipation of the fall.
When we'll wear sweaters and dance, snuggled tightly,
holding hands in the cool twilight to keep warm
(and because our hands search each other out without thought).
There will be a next new season for us in our home.

The sounds here are unfamiliar and only mildly full of nature.
We're surrounded by small patches of grassy lawns
and the noises of bugs that exist everywhere.

Something rubs its legs together,
making an insect's musical soundtrack to a Saturday.
A handyman tinkers and pounds away on something nearby
as his wife leaves him to his own devices
(and a moment's peace to subdue his dominion).
Air conditioners and cars hum and whoosh -
we are a city people,
our bikes locked securely.

That bee buzzing nearby doesn't annoy today.
I welcome the company on this porch
so removed from the vast peace of nature's fields.

Mercy Me

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 21:18:00 +0000

When I went to Kenya, it was for such a smattering of different reasons, but I didn't realize that I was going to meet my heart there. For years it had dripped and ached with the desire to help. It'd gotten mad, fighting mad, plenty of times over how hard it is to reconcile ourselves with this world.

When I found my heart in the sky and laughter of that gorgeous country of God's, two things happened that made me positive of God's existence on earth.

1. Encoring my unsolicited solo performance of "Amazing Grace" with an entry in a Kenyan prayer book of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For."

2. Meeting Mercy. I don't know how you can not give birth a child and still feel that you own some part of her, but it is possible. I want her to be provided for, appreciated, thriving in a way that even feels different than desiring that for a sibling. I have woken up in the middle of the night with an inkling that she was thinking of me.

For those of you who know me well, you know that Mercy has become part and parcel of that time. She reminds me of my heart, of my humanity, of how very little we have to do to change the world.

Josie recently sent me this picture from her July trip and it appears that she's becoming a confident little leader.

Glory and praise to God. If this is the only prayer he answers for awhile,

keep it up, ok?

the bloodbath at the westport corral

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:54:00 +0000

Last night we went for a trivia fest at Westport Flea Market.

I swaggered on in to that little beer-soaked den of sin ready for a fight.

The fiesty, bald ringmaster looked to be a worthy competitor and the way he sucked down them sprites told me he'd been to this rodeo before and wasn't gonna be taken down by a budweiser or 12...unlike the the rowdy band of brothers to my left at 8 o'clock. Their team name, "cunning linguists" let me know they'd be victorious in any movie rounds but largely unthreating if women's lib should appear as the final category.

I settled in with a Newcastle in hand, cocky with English courage and ready to whoop up on the young'uns around me.

And then it started: A barrage of questions worthy of opponents like Ken Jennings or Roger Ebert or a flag afficianado (who knew what sort of flag Bulgaria trumpets off its capital building?)

The winning team celebrated with pitchers of frosty brew and a score of 67 points. I cannot remember their name as my pride had retreated to the parking lot and my ego was following it at a steady run.

Team Craptor finished up with a measly 28 points - our previous high score of 48 squandered on the last two categories at 10 points each: "bloodiness" and "the olympics"

I hang my head today. Not only did we lose, but I owe laundry duty and unsolicited peanut buster parfaits to the bf for my lack of trust in his ability to know the Swedish group that had 4 more gold records than any other group in history.

Abba, you broke my heart. Craig was right to trust that Roxette knew a little thing about love.

But it's over now...

The challenge of Christ

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 19:59:00 +0000

As I read this op-ed in today's NY Times, I'm reminded of the temptation we have (especially in government) to wipe out or punish away societal problems when we could also be intervening early on.

This article specifically addresses Georgia's problem with child prostitution and warns against the temptation to continually escalate the punishment for those who violate the law. (Apparently GA has some of the toughest penalties on the issue.)

First, the editorial calls for increasing outreach and education programs to spot potential recruits into prostitution and to get current practicioners out of that lifestyle voluntarily. This strategy is so often missed because of the time, patience and care involved. It certainly isn't cost or time-effective to really listen to youth in our community, but it is what we are challenged with.

The article also mentions a mayor's brilliantly creative turn with regards to the solicitors:

"The men who drive the sex trade by patronizing prostitutes rarely figure into
discussions of the problem. Shirley Franklin, the mayor of Atlanta, has changed
that through advertisements underscoring the damage that these men do to their
communities."

Many solicitors are able to relinquish their culpability as they erode the self of another human being. As advertisements point out what the emotional and financial impact of their actions are, hopefully the temptation is tempered.

I have long believed that we are simultaneously challenged and gifted with the societal ability to treat a problem long before we see the disease. The most apparent course of action is to punish or limit destructive behaviors (and certainly there is merit in that), but the action should not stop there.

At the risk of drawing ire, I see this punishment/lack of treatment problem especially with the abortion debate. I sincerely believe that most people regret having to make that final decision, but are so helpless or restricted that they cannot see a way around it. As with the GA law, when we move to outlaw the practice altogether, we miss intervening in all the steps leading up to that act. We also miss the opportunity to restore a spirit, and instead condemn it.

If as a people, as a church, we reach out to our community before these potentially avoidable situations occur, we might negate the necessity to outlaw something we find troubling. If we identify groups of young women who aren't practicing safe sex or are lonely, depressed, in need of attention, could it not be an opportunity to befriend, listen, counsel and mentor before the choice is made?

I do believe that our lives face a difficult choice. Will we be receptive to the needs in the people around us, or will we find ourselves drifting into self-absoption? It is not an easy choice, but as more of us make it, the burden is shared and the world can become better.

a day of prayers

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 21:13:00 +0000

I just keep finding them today. Reciting someone else's prayer is so good for the soul...

Oh yes, fix me, Jesus, fix me.
Fix me so that I can walk on a little while longer.
Fix me so that I can pray on just a little bit harder.
Fix me so that I can sing on just a little bit louder.
Fix me so that I can go on despite the pain,
The fear, the doubt, and yes, the anger,
I ask not that you take this cross from me, only that you give me the strength to continue carrying it onward `til my dying day.
Oh, fix me, Jesus, fix me.

--"Fix Me, Jesus, Fix Me" African-American Spiritual

It is well with my soul...

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:17:00 +0000

Glory be to Thee, O God! Thou art the God Who hath existed before all things, Who will exist after all things and will last beyond all things. Thou art the God Who knoweth all things, and is supreme over all things. Thou art the God Who dealeth mercifully with all things, Who judgeth between all things and Whose vision embraceth all things. Thou art God my Lord, Thou art aware of my position, Thou dost witness my inner and outer being.
Grant Thy forgiveness unto me and unto the believers who responded to Thy Call. Be Thou my sufficing helper against the mischief of whosoever may desire to inflict sorrow upon me or wish me ill. Verily Thou art the Lord of all created things. Thou dost suffice everyone, while no one can be self-sufficient without Thee.

- The Bab

branchin out

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:18:00 +0000

I'm stretching myself a bit:

-Sometime soon I'm going to go swing by the 3 neighbors' places. I've met everyone in awkward introductions but since this is the first time I've had bonafide next door neighbors I want to take them something to get a conversation going. I'm thinking I'll make some cookies or take veggies from the farmers market or something (though an invite to stop over for a glass of wine is probably a better idea). Just call me the reverse welcome wagon.

*For the record, Cass, you're still the best surprise EVER in an apartment complex best buddy.

-I'm also exploring other life options in my head and it's oddly freeing and totally scary in one little bundle. Sort of like big-kid daydreaming. The edges are starting to come into focus and that's pretty cool.

favorite lyrics

noreply@blogger.com (Ally) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:24:00 +0000

I'm thinking about words tonight. I've resurrected mine and am tweaking and playing with them. I ran across a piece of paper with lyrics inked, heavy. I'm especially moved and affected by music, so I share this with you. It is how I'm feeling now:

"Buildings and bridges were made to bend in the wind
What doesn't bend breaks
What doesn't bend breaks"

- Ani DiFranco

What lyrics stick with you?