Bonus points if you can identify who’s uniform he’s wearing.

New character Tuesday!

No it’s not, actually. It’s just a regular Tuesday. With a new character. Oh well.

As an adult in the real world I find myself faced sometimes with problems specific to, and characteristic of, having a regular 9-5(ish) day job. Most of these problems are boring and not worth talking about. But one in particular that I have been trying to address is that of fitness.

I sit at a desk for a third of (nearly) every 24 hour day. I lie in a bed for another third. The remaining hours are mine to do with what I like. I have decided to devote some portion of my life to drawing funny things and posting them here on this magical place we call the internet. I also frequent such places as facebooks, twitters, and other various websites.  Factor in the occasion video game and movie and what you are left with is a fantastic recipe for unhealthiness and couch potatitude*. In an effort to fight the slow trudge of time and the harrowing effects it can take on a body, I try to exercise. But unfortunately, ‘motivation’ is the constant enemy of that most dastardly villain…’procrastination.’ And procrastination can be a hard tyrant to break.

In my quest for greater fitness and better ways to keep myself incentivised, I have found a place here on the internet that has proven to be an ally. It is a site that blends the mystical qualities of a videogame (that can keep you working on that last achievement long after you should have gone to sleep) and the supportive platform of social media to help promote exercise and better health. The site is called fitocracy.

Here’s the basic rundown: You sign up for the site and create a profile, much like with any social media platform. You can join groups and follow other’s workout exploits. You can encourage them and comment on their posts. You have the ability to log your own workouts for others to see. Its pretty standard fare up to this point and is really not much different from facebook or Google+ in these respects. The innovative part is that for each workout you complete, you are awarded points. The amount of points awarded varies based on the intensity, length, and difficult of the specific workout (ie. climbing a mountain would yield a lot more points than climbing a few flights of stairs). As you progress, you level up and gain achievements. They even have ‘quests’ that you can embark on that are structured to get you to try out new forms of exercise that you may not have otherwise tried. And of course, as with any video game, you level up based on teh number of points you earn.

I have been using the site for a few months and I am very very pleased. My experiences have struck just the right mix of encouragement and peer pressure that have definitely kept me more accountable than I would have kept myself otherwise. I highly recommend checking it out if you would like some support in your gym going activities. If you do join, be sure to find me.

Also in an entirely and completely unrelated note, I drew a picture of Fionna. She is the female version of Finn in the Cartoon Network smash hit “Adventure Time.” Why draw her you might ask? Because I am a hopeless and unrepentant nerd, I hypothetically respond.

This picture is dedicated to my friends Josh and Ashley, without whose angelic influence I might never have watched Adventure Time.

*Note: Couch potatitude is not commonly accepted as a real expression in the English language. Yet.

That’s what’s up. Bros.

IT’S REAL.

You’re welcome for knowledge with which I have inundated you. Actually, I’m sorry. Terribly, terribly sorry.

"Is he from Lord of the Harry Potter or something?"

When I showed the sketch to my wife (sans the word bubble) I asked her if she knew what it was. She responded “Yeah, it’s Scott Pilgrim dressed as Han Solo. Duh.” I’m pretty sure 13 year old me would just totally high five me for hours if he knew the kind of classy lady I managed to bag.

Anyways, I’ve been thinking about a totally different topic. And that topic is Mount Rushmore. I will regale you with my ever so slightly embellished history of the glorious mount:

Back in 1927 the United States government decided that mountains weren’t awesome enough. No indeed. They must be classed up. But how? The question weighed heavily on the minds of the nation’s forgoing politicians because, hey, we weren’t in a war, the Great Depression was still a couple years away, and all of the trusts had already been busted by everyone’s second favorite Roosevelt. After several heated debates and suggestions (I’m guessing, probably), president Coolidge lived up to his name and laid down the law. He said something to effect of “Yo losers, we’re not carving buffalo or flowers into that mountain. That stuff’s for hippies and suckers. I say we carve the faces of the most awesome Americans into the living rock.” The meekest of the politicians pushed his glasses back onto his nose and managed to squeak out but a single word, “How?” President Coolidge who was at this point looking wistfully out a window with his back turned to the other men calmly began “I think we should use…” and then turning around he whipped off his sunglasses (that he’d timetravelled to buy from a mall in 1983) and said “dynamite, baby.” They decided on four of the The US’s most premier ballers: Washy Wash, Jeffers, Links, and the Tedster. And the rest is history. 

What really blows my mind with all of this is that we actually spent government money to carve giant faces in a rock. Other countries’ governments were probably thinking “Man, we thought we were doing a good job by just protecting everyone’s rights and having a functional postal service and everything. But then there goes America being ridiculous again.” I feel like if a president or congressman were to suggest something like that today they would be laughed out of the Capitol. I think that is a little unfortunate. I’m all for trimming the fat in the federal budget, but sometimes (as is the case with bacon) that fat can taste pretty darn good.

Gifts like that are clutch in these trying economic times. How else are you going to save up for your child’s rapidly increasing projected college cost.

WHATEVER.

This has been bouncing around my head for some time. I finally felt like I’d learned enough about GIF creation to do it justice. Now I just need to post it on some reddit thread and be the hero of the internet.

Here’s a link to the image by itself if you’d like to use it [link].

But, the main character is a samurai post-apocalyptic version of Buddy Holly. And that is something I can certainly rally around. While watching it, I was inspired to immortalize the main character in digital inks. Check it out.

I sincerely considered just writing a flowchart that points directly to the word ”YES” but I think this version is a bit more entertaining.

Despite the best efforts of friends and family to dissuade me, I am starting once again down that most futile and hated road of growing a mustache.  I have failed in the past, but I only hope to have a greater resolve on this go around. We shall see.  Maybe I’ll soon look like my dream self.

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Transcript: English

Should you grow a mustache?

Is it the 1970’s?

Are you a pirate?

Are you a magician?

Are you a villain in a Disney movie?

Are you Burt Reynolds?

Are you a motorcycle traffic cop?

Yes. Grow that glorious lip garden.

Screw it, grow one anyway.

Written by AmosskaWhitelaw