Foolery

Best Epic Event to Blow Off Since Y2K

2012-05-21T09:23:35-07:00

(Photo stolen from these guys)

The solar eclipse just rolled through, and correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that the biggest NONevent in the history of This Weekend?

I mean really. We live in the prime viewing zone for the thing, and *meh*. There were people who drove over SIX. MILES. to view it, or so I heard.

SUCKERS.

My daughters and I were out helping my dad put the door on the latest wing of his Winchester Mystery Bird House: The Chicken Wing, when we noticed that the light hitting grandpa had a rusty, metallic look to it. It's possible it was just my dad's effect on the sun, but we decided to be good sports anyway, and walk home to make a Pinhole Eclipse Viewing Thingy©.

Sparky opted to stay inside, close to the kitchen, when she found out Daddy had made corn on the cob for dinner, but Smedley and I rallied to the cause. We stabbed a sheet of paper, rushed outside, turned our backs to the solar mashup happening in the west, and . . . well, I tried to be Science Mom, but inside I was thinking, yeah. That's it, Smed. I'm pretty sure it's a big deal if your moniker ends in onomer or ologist or irley McLaine, but I'll wait for the internutz to spew forth the PhotoShopped spectacular versions, already showing up now.

But wait, what about all the stories we've been told about ancient people thinking solar eclipses were omens?

I Googled sloar eclispe effects on ancient poeple, then I did it right, and here's what I read:

"The Emperor Zhong Kang supposedly beheaded two astronomers, Hsi and Ho, who failed to predict an eclipse 4000 years ago."

"Eclipses have been interpreted as omens, or portents. The ancient Greek historian Herodotus wrote that Thales of Miletus predicted an eclipse that occurred during a war between the Medians and the Lydians. Both sides put down their weapons and declared peace as a result of the eclipse."

REALLY.

Forgive me my lack of imagination, but I'm having a hard time picturing Zhong Kang losing his cool over slightly rusty sunlight and fuzzy shadows. (Hsi and Ho must have deserved it.) So ancient people looked up and said, "Hey Shirley McLaine*, do you see what I see? The sunlight is 25% less intense! RELEASE THE HOUNDS!" And if eclipses could stop wars, Hell, we should have sent a lot of umbrellas into orbit YEARS ago.

I'm not usually such a troglodyte**, but I missed the word "annular" in all of the media build-up to this eclipse, so I was expecting something a bit more noticeable -- relative darkness and maybe a healthy downpour of frogs or blood or something. The average unprepared Luddite person, lacking good equipment and a scientist on hand, may have had the same experience we did.

(Photo stolen from these guys)

But things were looking up: there was still the corn on the cob.

*Thanks to Daryl for pointing out that I originally butchered the spelling of Shirley McLaine's name (DUHHHH)!

**Two things: I am sometimes such a troglodyte, but I'm also kind of pulling your leg here.

Pull Over, Marge -- Orland Has Water and Lights

2012-05-17T14:02:11-07:00

My town turned 100 two years ago.

It seems that shortly after incorporating into a town in 1909, Orland decided it needed safe water storage, and so a large water tower was built. The tower stands 126 feet tall -- maybe higher, because I don't think that accounts for its pointy hat -- and is still in use today.

I think we have more wires in the air than they had 100 years ago.

But that's not what I wanted to tell you. I told you that so I could tell you this: Orland threw a birthday party for the water tower recently, marking the tower's 100th birthday in June by lighting the tower with flood lights for the first time in its life. My good friend Gubby, who moved away from Orland years ago, was jumping out of his skin to hear all about the lighting ceremony and urged me to get "tons of photos." I got four.

Local historian (and my high school graphic arts teacher) Dr. Gene Russell stood on the back of an antique fire truck to address the assembled crowd and share water tower facts: constructed at a time when Orland was bustling and prosperous, the tank holds 80,000 gallons of water and can be seen for miles around. Doc Russell did not say why this particular water tower holds such fascination for Gubby, but I think I can help Doc out with that one: Gubby may be hosting a large brain parasite and he needs to get out more.

I haven't driven up I-5 at night to see the water tower bathed in light, but I plan to. Like Gubby, I too need to get out more. I plan to pretend I am a tourist headed north, when I espy a water tower glowing up ahead, and I'll say to myself, "Hmmmm, Orland-O . . . wonder if they have water here . . ."

(Seriously, big props to my friend and neighbor Gary Campbell, who, as Orland's Economic Development Commissioner, spearheaded this community beautification project, and others. Anything that makes my town better makes me happy.)

For a nice shot of the water tower all lit up, check out Steve Monck's photo at his Orland Bulletin article. Just can't get enough of urban water towers? Check out my friend Daryl's blog "Out and About in New York City," in which beautiful photos of water towers are a regular feature.

Asterisk

2012-05-14T22:28:59-07:00

My Mother's Day card from my wonderful husband.