Recently at Friendship Terrace Retirement Community we held a special breakfast to express our deep appreciation to the many, many residents and members of the surrounding community who willingly give of their time and talents, assisting us in meeting our mission.

At that breakfast I delivered the following invocation with a heartfelt expression of gratitude for all that volunteers contribute throughout the year.  We could not do what we do without them.

Oh God, we come in your presence this morning to express appreciation to the many volunteers who have made many wonderful things possible this year.

 We thank you for calling them to us.

 We thank you for their eyes that see the good in all,

 for hands extended to help,

 for their ability to go where needed,

  for their ears that hear and their hearts that care,

 for their enthusiasm that greets each task…

  and for their smiles…oh, their so many smiles,…

 …that they share so easily.

 Please bless us as we join together to thank those who have given,  and those who will continue to be giving in the year to come, here in our community and around us. 

 We thank you for all this and more,

 and with eternally grateful hearts, we say together, …Amen.

 If you would like to be a volunteer in a Seabury Resources community, go to www.seaburyresources.org and search under programs or call (202) 414-6312.  All of us at Seabury will welcome your coming forward!

Chuck Thornton is the Director of Marketing  for Seabury at Friendship Terrace.  Friendship Terrace offers retirement living for older adults and is located in the Tenleytown neighborhood of Washington, DC.  Chuck can be reached at (202) 244-7400 or CThornton@seaburyresources.org.

To my amazement, many of the participants challenged me!  It may have been that we were saying the same thing in different ways, but it saddened me that anyone would expect to be depressed!  But I suspect that many people do expect depression to be a part of aging.

That is, if they can admit to aging at all.  And I can’t say that it’s not ingrained, even my mother won’t give me a straight answer when I’ve forgotten her age.  And though I know several people who are turning 40 this year, we just don’t talk about.  I had a religion teacher once, who was asked if high school was the best time of her life.  To which she replied that “it certainly wasn’t!” and she mentioned that for her she always tried to make right now the best time of her life.

But for everyone out there who believes that depression is a normal part of aging, please listen closely, it is NOT NORMAL.  I don’t mean to belittle all the challenges.  I can only hope that I handle with grace the moment I’m told I need to use a walker.   And I suspect I’ll be a little more of an introvert when my friends and family pass away.  But I hope if I become a little too withdrawn and isolated, I will get myself help or someone around me will get me some help.

Sadness is a normal part of life.  Depression is not.

Unfortunately though, there are a lot of older adults who do become depressed and don’t reach out for help.  I was just reminded at a presentation the other day that it is thought that 15% of seniors have depression but 50% of those have gone undiagnosed and a good portion of the other half are not getting the services they need.  And unfortunately, nearly 16% of the senior population commits suicide although they are 12% of the population.  And those most at risk are white male widows.  And sadly, they’ve usually been to see a physician recently and they are usually dealing with a chronic illness.

Some of this is likely due to the stigma of mental health among the older adult population.  Some of it may be due to the attitude that this is what comes with aging.  Some is due to the disparity in mental health reimbursement.  Some is due to the need for more education among providers and society.  And I’m sure there are many other reasons.

If you know of an older adult who is depressed, please don’t let them suffer.  Contact your local Area Agency on Aging (www.n4a.org) to ask about mental health services.  Contact their physician or offer to go with them to the doctor and express your concern about depression.  Encourage them out of their isolation by bringing them with you to different activities and events.  Let them know you are there for them.

Christine Bitzer, LICSW, is the Assistant Director of Seabury Resources for Aging’s Care Management service.   Care managers work with older adults on an individual basis to advise them on a variety of issues and services; such as home care, transportation, medical/legal assistance and housing. Families are put at ease having a knowledgeable guide to provide recommendations and resources to meet their unique needs. This expertise can save families money and reduce stress and time away from work. Christine can be reached at (202) 364-0020 or email her at CBitzer@seaburyresources.org

While preparing the talk, I talked with colleagues about how we never think about alcohol and older adults and yet it’s something to consider.   Interestingly, alcohol has become such a part of our culture, that in an effort to address the wants of their residents, some senior living options now offer wine at dinner or happy hours for the residents.   In fact, I noticed in one long term care unit, a resident’s plan of care mentioned that she has two glasses of bourbon in the evening.

I like the fact that it’s offered.  It’s certainly an option I would want when I’m older.   Certainly, in this area, where we have so many high powered business people, diplomats, government and military employees, it’s expected for them to attend and host many dinner and cocktail parties.   And this is certainly true for the seniors we work with; alcohol has and is very much a part of their life.

That being said, it’s important to educate our clients about how alcohol effects an older adult differently, otherwise one of our clients could end up being  one of the 15% of the older adult population who are either at-risk or problem drinkers.

Alcohol guidelines recommend no more than 7 drinks in one week, (not more than 3 in one day), for those 65 and older.   The reason for this is because our bodies change as we get older.   There is an increased sensitivity to alcohol, a decreased liver metabolism, as well as a decrease in body mass.   All this means that alcohol isn’t processed like it was previously which in turn makes the impact of a single drink greater and the time it takes the system to recover, longer.  Complicating the issue are the many medications, vitamins, herbal supplements and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs that we take as we get older.   Unfortunately, we forget to discuss alcohol use with doctors putting them at a disadvantage to diagnose and prescribe medications appropriately.   Alcohol can interact with any pills we take; it might enhance or dampen a medication’s effectiveness leading to under or over prescription of medication.

So even if your loved one has ‘always had two drinks’ in the evenings, it’s still a good idea to make sure they’re educated about alcohol’s impact.

Regrettably, some older adults turn to alcohol to cope with the loss and pain (emotional and physical) that might come with aging.   Unfortunately because alcohol is a depressant any emotional high that comes with drinking is quickly replaced with a low, leading to a vicious cycle of drinking more to maintain the high.   Some also mistakenly believe it can be used to induce sleep.  But alcohol induced sleep is shallow, short, and non-restorative.  And if used with sleeping pills it could fatal!

As with most things, prevention is key.   Making sure we and those we love or work with know how aging effects alcohol is a start.   It’s being supportive of family members when there is a change in their life- a move, the deaths of someone close to them, a new diagnosis, etc.   Getting them out and involved in new things, helping them get an accurate diagnosis and appropriate medications, etc.

Signs of alcohol issues include mood changes (anxiety, depression, irritability), frequent falls and bruises, memory loss, changes in hygiene and appearance, not eating well, or isolating themselves.    If you feel there is a problem reach out for help.   Although this is not an issue we tend to discuss, once you begin talking with people, you’ll realize that everyone wants to help, doctors, senior living administrators, even the community liquor stores!  And make sure as a caregiver you get assistance, even if your family member does not believe there is an issue.

Christine Bitzer, LICSW, is the Assistant Director of Seabury Resources for Aging’s Care Management service.   Care managers work with older adults on an individual basis to advise them on a variety of issues and services; such as home care, transportation, medical/legal assistance and housing. Families are put at ease having a knowledgeable guide to provide recommendations and resources to meet their unique needs. This expertise can save families money and reduce stress and time away from work. Christine can be reached at (202) 364-0020 or email her at CBitzer@seaburyresources.org

Last week’s events renewed my belief that society can embrace and celebrate aging. Multiple generations stood in admiration at the shuttle, no longer in its prime, making its final flight carried on the back of a modified 747. The wear and tear of 39 flights into space was clearly recognizable on Discovery; the scorched underbelly and discolorations of the shuttle adding to its beauty and character. Former shuttle astronaut Piers Sellers shared his acceptance and appreciation for the aged Discovery in a quote in the Washington Post. Sellers, who flew on Discovery in 2006, stated, “She’s old and venerable.” “We had sheets of paper that said, ‘When this alarm goes off, ignore it’, or ‘this fuel gauge doesn’t work’. She had a lot of little quirks, but her heart was solid.”

We can and should embrace getting older. Our past accomplishments big and small are all worth celebrating. Our scars, wrinkles and “quirks” are lasting impressions of our experiences. They shape who we have become. Discovery’s retirement reminds us that we can redefine our purpose and provide valuable contributions long after our primary role is over. I’d venture to say that NASA’s principal purpose of Discovery’s final flight had nothing to do with opening America’s eyes to the beauty of aging, but I’m glad it did.

Stephanie Chong, LICSW, is the Director of Seabury Resources for Aging’s Care Management service.   Care managers work with older adults on an individual basis to advise them on a variety of issues and services; such as home care, transportation, medical/legal assistance and housing. Families are put at ease having a knowledgeable guide to provide recommendations and resources to meet their unique needs. This expertise can save families money and reduce stress and time away from work. Stephanie can be reached at (202) 364-0013 or via email her at SChong@seaburyresources.org.

Know your Senior Living Options

These days, it’s hard to tell a new upscale apartment/condo complex from senior living community. In fact, that’s the hope; you’re not supposed to feel like you’re in a nursing home, because it’s not. To be fair, they cover the spectrum from new and modern to older and homey. The independent living spaces may be exactly like an apartment building except they have a community dining room and may offer a meal program. They’ll have a few ‘hidden’ services, such as a medic alert button in all the bathrooms. The obvious difference is there are activities going on all the time; the garden club, book club, day trips, etc. etc. My condo doesn’t come with that- though I suppose it could.

An assisted living is not too different, except a nurse is available 24/7, and caregivers are available to assist those who may need some assistance, and to clean your apartment and linens. And all of your meals are available in a dining room because there aren’t usually cooktops. Nursing homes have modernized, but they remain a more obvious medical setting since most of these individuals need a lot of care and attention.

Before ruling out the option of senior living visit a few. Find out what’s included. Not every senior community is for everyone, but there is a senior living community for everyone.

Bringing Services into the Home

Another option is to bring services into the home. We automatically think about the caregivers that can be brought in and this is a primary service. However, nowadays almost anything can be brought into the home; hair dressers, doctors, sometimes even dentists! Groceries and meals can be brought in or a caregiver can assist. Universal design specialists can make changes that make it easier to remain in place- for example, widening doorways to fit a walker or wheelchair, making bathrooms accommodating and safe for everyone, adding stair glides or elevators to transport seniors from one floor to another and the list goes on. Keep in mind, all of these services cost money. And they do take some preplanning.

The Discussion

Knowing that all these services can be brought into the home, it’s obvious that it is possible to remain in place. But is this always the best decision? The challenge is making the decision soon enough so that we can enjoy our home or our time in the community and more importantly when a crisis situation rears its ugly head we’ve already prepared the ground work. Otherwise, that “crisis” may dictate our options during a time in which we’re already overwhelmed and too ill to make decisions for ourselves. Consequently, planning ahead and being realistic about our capabilities and our finances are key.

Consider the following:

• Look at the senior living options. There are places that can be affordable. And there is likely one that fits your personality.
• Take a look at what you do each day. Have you made concessions because it’s no longer easy? For example, do you ever get more than a bath at the sink anymore? Are you not eating regularly because cooking for one person is too much trouble?
• Are you keeping up with the home maintenance or are you letting things go?
• How about the seasonal work- shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, maintaining the garden?
• How often are you late in paying bills or getting to read an important piece of mail?
• How limited is your mobility in your home? Can you get up and down steps? Are you confined to a room or two? Are you able to get to the bathroom or is it on a different floor?
• Do you ever miss a dose, or two of medication?
• Do you feel safe in your home, in your neighborhood?
• How connected are you to your immediate community? Are there neighbors who stop by and check in with you?
• Have you done a cost comparison of what it would take to maintain you in your home verses living in a community?

Aging in place is possible, but it does require thinking ahead.  And there are professionals, like Geriatric Care Managers or Consultants, who are willing to assist with this process.  It’s also important to recognize that everyone ages differently, and sometimes the best laid plans need some adjustment or just don’t work out the way we expect.

Christine Bitzer, LICSW, is the Assistant Director of Seabury Resources for Aging’s Care Management service.   Care managers work with older adults on an individual basis to advise them on a variety of issues and services; such as home care, transportation, medical/legal assistance and housing. Families are put at ease having a knowledgeable guide to provide recommendations and resources to meet their unique needs. This expertise can save families money and reduce stress and time away from work. Christine can be reached at (202) 364-0020 or email her at CBitzer@seaburyresources.org

Our agency is blessed to have over forty volunteers at our nutrition sites and office.  Most of our volunteers are over 60 years of age and we couldn’t properly operate our sites without them.  Our newest office volunteer has already contributed significantly to our social work department and brings a special touch to her interactions with our clients because she is also a social worker.  How wonderful to reap the benefits of years of experience from these seasoned individuals while providing quality services and programs to those who deserve it.

How will you participate in these annual commemorative events?  Please think about one of Seabury Resources for Aging’s housing or program locations to make your meaningful difference in the life of an older adult.  Sharing your time and talent with others will certainly enhance your life as well.

Dawn M. Quattlebaum is the Director of Ward 5 Aging Services for Seabury Resources for Aging.  Ward 5 Aging Services plans and directs aging services for older adults and caregivers in Washington DC’s Ward 5.  Services include nutrition sites, case management, nutrition education and support, transportation coordination, and social events.  Dawn can be reached at (202) 529-8701 or via email at DQuattlebaum@seaburyresources.org.

However, what rules exist post-retirement?

There are no “rules” for aging.  In a country with rising life expectancy and an aging population, older adults and their children are left to navigate aging issues on their own.  Many have limited knowledge of what to expect for the future.  Adult children who are caring for their parents have no personal experience to draw upon.  There is often little understanding of what assistance is available, what is appropriate at a given time and what the financial implications of long-term care are.  There are no age designations to help guide decision-making or identify when to expect change.  When one’s life experience is based on increased independence and predictability, reduced independence and uncertainty are unsettling and can lead to frustration and family conflict.

While I’m not in favor of changing laws to create aging predictability, I do think there is something we can do to prepare older adults and their families for the future.    My recommendation is to educate ourselves when we are young and healthy.  Learn what is available to age in place, the costs associated with long-term care and the benefits and stressors of caregiving.  Read about the warning signs that alert you to the need to bring in home care or make a move.  Talk to others who have had experience with an aging adult and learn from what they share.   Research opportunities that will enrich your life post-retirement.  Personal growth is possible at every age and stage.  It’s important to remember that growing older does not mean that we must stop enjoying life.

Let us know your thoughts and experiences.  What are you doing to prepare for post retirement?  What experiences have you had in planning for yourself or a family member?

Stephanie Chong, LICSW, is the Director of Seabury Resources for Aging’s Care Management service.   Care managers work with older adults on an individual basis to advise them on a variety of issues and services; such as home care, transportation, medical/legal assistance and housing. families are put at ease having a knowledgeable guide to provide recommendations and resources to meet their unique needs. this expertise can save families money and reduce stress and time away from work. Stephanie can be reached at (202) 364-0013 or via email her at SChong@seaburyresources.org.

“Who am I and what is my purpose in life?” and “What of value will I leave behind?”

Each of these we must answer for ourselves and the answers do vary from person to person.

This conference shifted the emphasis from the pathology of older age (disease, impairment and deterioration) to a whole-person view of older people and examining the role of purpose, engagement and belonging even in the face of the “pathologies”.

Morning speakers spoke of Carl Jung and his teachings and their reflections.  I know I want to explore more of his teachings such as:

“The afternoon of life is just as full of meaning as the morning; only its meaning and purpose are different.” Carl Jung, Vol 7, Two Essays on Analytical Psychology, 74

“A human being would certainly not grow to be seventy or eighty years old if this longevity had no meaning for the species. The afternoon of human life must also have a significance of its own and cannot merely be a pitiful appendage to life’s morning”  Carl Jung, CW, Vol 8, Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, “The Stages of Life”, 387-403.

The afternoon, though, was action-based, with panelists in the fields of aging and geriatrics providing local metro-DC and national examples of how the view of whole-person aging is impacting our medical care now.  Exciting leaders speaking yesterday were from the Univ of MD School of Social Work, National Center for Creative Aging, George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health and the Medical House Call program at MedStar, Washington Hospital Center*.   Each of these speakers have exciting innovative programs and each also made the client/patient part of the treatment team. What a concept to ask the patient for his/her treatment goals!

*And, here is a shameless plug for Seabury’s Leadership in Aging Awards in June: this year’s awardee’s are Stuart Rosenthal, Editor and Publisher of The Beacon newspapers AND the Medical House Call program at MedStar, Washington Hospital Center.   Truly, these are leaders in the field of aging.  Join us.

Key to successful aging to me are resilience, continual learning and exploring, strong relationships and community as well as the willingness to let go of whatever no longer serves me (the latter might include material goods as well as people in my life who drag me down.)

Ask me to talk more about what I learned at the symposium! And, I’d love to hear from YOU: What, to you, is successful aging?

Annie is Seabury’s Director of Congregational Resources working with congregations to help them organize programs and services by and with older adults. She can be reached at (202) 414-6314 or via email.

After my beach vacation a few weeks ago, I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly and bought 2 large bags of peanuts.  Large bags of Peanuts.  I’ve now eaten my fill.  This weekend I tossed a few outside in the yard.  Then I threw more.  And more.

With that first toss, life in my garden has grown increasingly exciting.  And not only because of the flowers popping up and blooming.  Blue jays squawk, and dive-bomb or chase one another.  Squirrels hang upside down or race along the trees.  Even the Red Bellied Woodpeckers and tiny chickadees are getting into the act.  I’m part of this play time: the critters are watching and waiting for every toss.

And, I laugh and laugh as I enter the spirit of this game.

I recommend this “medicine” of laughter and play.  It is truly the “pause that refreshes” and recharges us to face our lives with vigor and with fresh eyes.

What are you doing to refresh and recharge yourself so that you are enabled to face your life’s activities?

Annie Shaw

Annie is Seabury’s Director of Congregational Resources working with congregations to help them organize programs and services by and with older adults. She can be reached at (202) 414-6314 or via email.

There are many reasons why our Agency’s employees work as hard as they do.  They are a very dedicated and committed group of people who blessedly work well together.  We know that our clients need the services and programs we provide.  But we strive to do our best because of the smiles we receive and the knowledge that our efforts improve their quality of life.  It is gratifying to know that on a daily basis we make someone happy.  Whether it’s providing transportation to purchase essential grocery items; serving a delicious meal that is enjoyed with friends; delivering a meal to a homebound senior knowing you are the only person they will see that day’; or working beside a senior volunteer who is sharing their talents at one of our nutrition sites. It all brings smiles to the faces of those we serve and to the staff as well.

Of course there are other duties we perform that aren’t as exciting but just as important.  However, there is nothing like seeing the shining faces of those we serve and know that our teamwork results in such a wonderful emotion – happiness.

Dawn M. Quattlebaum is the Director of Ward 5 Aging Services for Seabury Resources for Aging.  Ward 5 Aging Services plans and directs aging services for older adults and caregivers in Washington DC’s Ward 5.  Services include nutrition sites, case management, nutrition education and support, transportation coordination, and social events.  Dawn can be reached at (202) 529-8701 or via email at DQuattlebaum@seaburyresources.org.