For The Love, Money and Lust

17 Things The Girl Who Is Used To Being On Her Own Should Expect, When She Dates The Boy Who Has Only Ever Been In A Long Term Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 12:06:00 +0800

1. Expect his feelings for you to be obvious and shown early in the relationship. It’s
not that he isn’t mindful or is reckless with how new this is for you; it’s
just that he sees the unique qualities you possess that no one else has taken
the time to identify and is excited for what he knows he has found.

2. Expect him to want to communicate more than you are used to. Don’t let this scare you,
it is in his nature to truly care for someone other than himself; it is him
wanting to stay in tune with other priorities/obligations you have in your life
in hopes to stay connected even while you’re apart.

3. Expect his friends and family members to be overjoyed and even outwardly optimistic
about your relationship. Do your best to brush it off, they are not trying to
place pressure or rush you into things; they just see the spark you have
ignited in him and how happy he is when he talks about you.

4. His gentleman nature will allow him to take things as slow as you would like. Due
to his selflessness, he is okay with this, but know that internally he is restraining
himself to his limits; he wants nothing more than to display his true affection
for you.

5. Expect him to rush to the scene to try to fix things that may go wrong or be
challenging in your relationship. Do not take this as a sign that he is ignoring
space you may want; he will do his best to respect it, but in the end he feels
every second that passes is wasted time that he could be growing with you and
will most likely take action.

6. Expect him to be an open book; he will want you to ask him tough questions about
himself and in return will want to dig around to know you on a personal level
unlike anything you have experienced. He knows how tough this will be due to
your guarded nature and will be gentle but still determined. Know that while he
will stumble in his approach, it is genuine.

7. Expect him to give you affirmation in abundance. He has the ability to sympathize
being in your shoes more than you realize. In his past relationship he may have
often felt left in the dark about her feelings for him. He will enjoy considering
and adapting for you because he does not want you to feel the way he once did.

8. Expect him to give, be cheesy, and spoil you in ways that at times may seem a bit over
the top. He is not trying to win you over by acts or gifts, he simply has no
other way to express his heart without overwhelming you with the words he truly
wishes to tell you. He also does this to make up for the time prior to dating
him that you haven’t been treated the way you have deserved all along. A
glimpse of your smile is all he wishes in return.

9. Expect the way he treats you, things he says to you, and little gestures he routinely
does for you to never fade. He doesn’t feel as though he needs to uphold these
things in order for you to want him in return; he does them as a symbol that
his feelings for you do not waver over time and that his commitment to you is
not circumstantial.

10. Expect him to have a problem saying no to you. Do not grow frustrated that most of the time he is content with doing whatever you choose; He is comfortable when you are comfortable, he is happy when you are happy. No matter the activity he already gets what he wants, he is with
you.

11. He will be quick to forgive, and will often apologize even when he knows you have
wronged him. Do not label him as a pushover or mistake his grace for weakness;
his selfless nature allows him to place the burdens or struggles of your
relationship on his shoulders. He will gladly accept this role if it means you
two learn from the situation, ultimately helping to strengthen the bond you
share with one another.

12. Expect him to be spontaneous, risky, and unafraid to fail at gaining your trust. He
already expects you to pull back at some point; he has planned for it. Know
that his momentary discouragement will soon turn into a fight for your heart.
Do not fault him for this; he sees the greatness in you that no one else has.
He will do whatever it takes to show you because for him, it is a greater risk
for you to never see what he sees in yourself than for him to risk losing you
in the process.

13. Expect him to be hesitant to continually sacrifice for the relationship if he feels
you will struggle to ever reciprocate. He realizes it will take time to get to
that point but remember; he has most likely been down this road before. Due to
his nature, he probably sacrificed until he had nothing left to give. He wont
expect you to display it as frequent as he does, but in those few instances
that present themselves, he will hope more than anything you will want to step
up to the plate the way he does for you.

14. Expect him to make decisions with his heart versus his head, especially when it comes
to you. He is an individual that is filled with what comes from the heart; it
shines through his words, the way he interacts with you, and the compassion he
has for others. Sometimes it doesn’t allot for the smartest outcome and may
even push your buttons, but it is always done with the purest of intentions.

15. Expect for him to like you at your worst, more than at your best. He is unimpressed with you trying to “wow” him; you took care of that when he met you. He wants the real you that you don’t let other people see. He longs for you to come as you are, whether it be when you’re mad,
sad, being your dorky self, hair in a ponytail, wearing a sweatshirt. These are
the times he cherishes because he knows when it’s the real you, you are
becoming more comfortable with him.

16. Expect him to be everything your heart tells you he is. This will scare you initially;
you are not used to leading with your heart. Your mind will tell you he seems
too good to be true. It will be difficult for you to believe that he will
always be the way he is, that guys like him just don’t exist. You will be
waiting for him to mess up or try to convince yourself that one day you wont be
enough for him. Make him earn your heart, but once he does, let it guide you.
Then you will see with clarity that he loves being that incredible guy for you
and will continue to be; it’s just the way he is.

17. Although he doesn’t show it, he is scared too. You will be scared to get hurt; he has
already experienced the hurt you’re afraid of. He knows what it’s like to give
his best and it not be enough to make it work. Don’t let this discourage you.
He had to go through it; otherwise he would have never been ready for when you
came along. If he is who this list says he is then you already know how he
feels about you. You’ve given him an amazing hope that he can hardly contain. He
has been walking on eggshells trying to make sure he doesn’t push you too fast
but in reality he can’t wait for the future. As much as you like your normal
comfort zone, you’re not hoping for the normal relationship. At some point you
will want to take a leap of faith with that not so normal guy. When you do,
he’ll give you what you’ve been looking for, a not so normal love.

How to Deal with OCD Partner?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 26 Sep 2014 08:56:00 +0800

You’ve taken an important step in the right direction by recognizing that there’s a problem with your partner’s behavior and that it needs to be addressed. Although any intimate relationship has its ups and downs, dating or having an intimate relation with someone who is affected by a chronic mental illness such as OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) can present some additional challenges as well as opportunities for growth. Above all, it is important to remember that an illness is what a person has, not who they are.

So, here are some few but helpful tips on how to deal with OCD partner:

Trust, Understand and Acceptance

It’s not unusual for people with OCD to hide the nature or ruthlessness of their symptoms from others – particularly those they may be engaged with romantically – for fear of embarrassment and rejection. If you are in a relationship with OCD, make it clear to your partner that it is something you are willing to talk about and want to understand more about. When your partner chooses to let it slip out to you, make sure you acknowledge how hard it must have been to tell you about them. Understanding and acceptance can go a long way toward building trust and intimacy.

Be Informed

Whether you are just dating someone with OCD means that you need to be up to speed with respect to the symptoms and treatment of the illness. On the surface, many of the obsessions and compulsions that go along with OCD can seem weird, illogical or even daunting. Understanding what the symptoms of OCD are and where they come from can go far off in helping you deal with them and to overthrow the overall stress level in your relationship. Additionally, it is important to realize that many people with OCD experience other forms of anxiety disorders or depression that can confuse the symptoms they experiences.

Respect their Privacy

While your partner might be comfortable disclosing the nature and severity of their symptoms to you, they may not be as comfortable discussing these issues with family, friends or co-workers. Never assume that other people in your partner’s life know that they have OCD. An outwardly harmless comment to a friend or family member of your partner could end up being very cruel or uneasy, weaken trust in the relationship or have other unintentional consequences.

Be Honest

Being in a relationship with OCD or dating with OCD means understanding that while symptoms can often be managed quite effectively, they may never be cured. If you have concerns or are feeling overwhelmed by your partner’s symptoms, talk about this with your partner openly and honestly. This is in particular important if you believe or know that your partner’s obsessions and/or compulsions relate to you and/or matters of sexual intimacy.

Communication is very important and can go a long way in avoiding a series of misunderstandings that could eventually lead to inconsistency or even break-up. If you do not feel that you are able to talk about such issues with your partner, bounce your thoughts off a trusted friend to try to get a different standpoint. Remember, any relationship – not just one with someone with OCD – is about balancing your personal needs with the needs of the relationship.

5 Men You’ll Meet Before You Die

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 4 Sep 2014 08:02:00 +0800

They say experience is the greatest teacher and over the years, I have learned many lessons from the many, many (particularly) men I've dated, lessons I write about in this post. Another thing I've noticed is that there are certain guys who simply spell trouble. I wish I had known to watch out for these kinds of men earlier, it definitely would have saved me a lot of pain in the ass. But instead, I'm passing this info along to you.

Here it is:

1. The Guy Who Gets Too Intimate Too Soon:

When a guy is over eager it can mean a few things, none of them good. The first is he wants to get you into bed, and he comes on as being “overly” into you to speed up the process. He looks deep into your eyes, he tells you he's never felt so strongly about a girl so fast, he's extremely affectionate.

It's also likely that he isn't over his last girlfriend; this is especially true of guys who start acting like a boyfriend after only a few dates. His behaviour isn't so much a sign of his feelings for you as it is an indicator that he simply misses being in a relationship.

If he isn't getting out of a relationship, then it's very likely his strong affections are a sign of some kind of attachment issues or self-esteem problems.

2. The Guy Who Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship Right Off the Bat

It really just means he can't see himself being in a relationship with YOU! (Argh! As if he’s gorgeous like George Clooney or Johnny Depp to feel that fuckin’ way haha). Don't stick around and try to prove him wrong - run as fast as you can!

3. The Guy Who Hates His Job (and/or doesn't know what he wants to do with his life)

Studies have proved time and time again that while women gain their sense of self-esteem and worth from their inter-personal relationships, a man determines his value based on his job or capability to have an impact on the world. When a man feels like he isn't contributing or being productive, he will feel like a failure, and a man who feels like a failure is an awfully tough creature to handle.

A guy who feels lost and at a loose end will be too wrapped up in himself to be a loving, caring partner who can be in the swing of things to your needs. This guy will just bring you down with this cynicism and will resent you if you happen to have your act together.

4. The Tortured Artist (or hipster-ish dude)

This guy is the hardest to read and the most likely to go from hot to cold with no warning and often no reason (and if there is a reason it will most likely be the most ridiculous one you've ever heard, like: you texted him back 15 minutes after he texted you, thus, indicating you are way too interested in him).

This guy will create high-flying illusions of who you are, will put you on a pedestal, will make you feel like the most “breathtaking”, “eye-catching” being to ever walk to the face of the earth (because at first, he may very well feel this way). Obviously no one can live up to such enormous expectations and you will eventually show yourself to not be the goddess he envisioned and he will die out from your life without a trace.

Show too much interest and he'll be scared away, show not enough interest and he'll be too afraid to make any moves, show just the right amount of interest and he'll get bored.

5. The Guy Who Has Never been Single

Be very cautious of the guy who goes from one relationship to the next with little or no padding in between. The chances are he has a lot of up in the air issues and painful feelings masked deep down. There is no better place to hide from yourself than in a relationship.

Whatever issues he has will inevitably seep into the relationship and you don't want to be forced into the role of his therapist--I've played that part before and it can be extremely draining.

Luckily, after meeting these guys, I’m still alive! Well, they're just men anyway. Hahaha

The Economics of Sex

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Mon, 24 Feb 2014 12:08:00 +0800

Why do men want sex and women want marriage? This animation perfectly explains the 'economy of sex':

This video broaches the economy of sex in a clinical and an academic manner, attempting objectivity but only partially achieving it. There are many layers of assumptions worked into this fairly perceptive social analysis.

This theory assumes that marriage is the endgame relationship status, paints sexuality as a binary, and ignores the fact that women themselves are often delaying marriage in order to pursue careers.

Although this analysis is rooted in social psychology and drawn from solid economic framework, these sorts of paradigms focus on broad underlying generalities.

This is a basic lens, and completely ignores the many and complicated human aspects of interpersonal relationships.

A thought provoking framing, but very limited in its direct application.

This video was produced by the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture.

Why Woman Stay With An Abusive Partner?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Wed, 19 Feb 2014 17:36:00 +0800

Battered women - violence against women continues to be a major problem in this country. It is nothing new. It has been with us for ages. Who is the battered woman? What does she look like? We are told she doesn’t come from any particular socio-economic class. She is normal with no special attributes many times that make her stand out in a crowd. Some characteristics of this woman are:

1) Low self-esteem

2) Usually is a traditional wife or girlfriend and believes in strong family unity

3) Accepts responsibility for being battered

4) Suffers guilt from it

5) Presents herself to the world as a passive person, but has enough strength to prevent herself from being killed or severely injured many times

6) Believes her situation is hopeless

7) Is financial dependent on her husband or boyfriend .

These women do not choose to stay in the relationship because they enjoy the beatings and abuse. Most of them stay for economic, legal or social-dependence reasons. Many simply have no place to go. Most people can not understand why a woman would not leave the man who treats her so cruelly. A lot of women feel guilty and ashamed and feels the abuse they realize are punishment for their sins.

Women that are on welfare or have other means of support are usually more successful at leaving these men because they can control to some degree their own finances. They stay in the abusive relationships for several reasons. They stay for companionship, fear of aging, or having to face being a single parent. They are many times afraid that they will be harmed or killed if they leave. Also, many women will leave the abusive relationship many times before she finally makes the break. With this in mind, the caregiver must not give up on them when they go back to the abuser.

They have not become strong enough to make the final break. Evidence suggests that the men who batter women learn this behavior from a significant male in their own life. They have many times grown up in families where they witnessed their dad’s abuse of their mothers. Many times these fathers have been abused themselves. They have grown up with a strong authoritarian type of male ruling the house. These men focus on weak, dependent females and seek them out. When in this position, he has a sense of power, which makes him feel better about himself because many times this is the only power he has in life. He will have low self-esteem and has learned that he can boost his ego by bullying those weaker than himself. He usually will express a lot of jealousies to his lover.

He is extremely suspicious of she does, whom she sees and whom she talks with. He will accuse her of having sexual affairs with almost any male she comes into contact with from her father to the salesclerk at the supermarket.

There are three stages of the battering cycle.

They are Phase I- The tension building stage,
Phase II- the Acute Battering Stage and
Phase III- the Kindness and Contrite Loving Behavior Stage.

In Phase I the woman usually does all she can to calm down the batterer. She may nurture him or simply attempt to stay out of his way. She accepts the abuse because she thinks this will keep matters from getting worse. She here is seen to have sleeplessness, loss of appetite, overeating and sleeping, and constant fatigue. Phase II sees the explosion. It is here where she is usually beaten.

She anticipates this is coming. Phase III is characterized by extreme loving, almost kin to the honeymoon stage. The batterer shows affection and kind behavior that resembles a newly wed. He knows what he has done is wrong and tries to make it up to her. He begs forgiveness and promises never to do it again. He is like a little boy promising that he won’t do it again.

So, what is the answer? No one plan or method seems to be working that allows battered women to get away from the man described above. Interesting enough, this woman may actually love this man. A lot of understanding from a care provider must be given, whether it is a professional counselor or another significant person.

We must all become more sensitive to the battered woman, realizing that it may seem very simple to us, but it is terribly complex problem for these women. The legal system needs to be more involved, laws need to be passed to deal with this crime and batterers need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Policemen need better training in ways to get women to safe houses. But most important of all, these males need to be taught as children that physically, sexually, and verbally abusing women is wrong and can not be tolerated.

The education system itself can be used to meet this objective. I believe that the social conscience has to be raised concerning this area. When this is done, we will start seeing a decline in this problem. There is NO excuse for ANY abuse on women, children, men or the elderly. We can't help but notice it is only a coward that would abuse anyone and that they would never abuse one who could fight back.

People don't stop to think about the different types of abuse, Verbal, Mental, sexual abuse etc. When you call your child, friend or spouce a name that is abuse, degrading is abuse, when a person says NO and you force that is abuse. I would never slap ANYONE as I don't ever want to know what it is like to get slapped. I bite my tongue even when someone says something nasty to me because I can't call anyone something that I know they aren't.

To understand battered woman's syndrome, one must first understand how someone becomes a "battered woman". A woman must experience at least two complete battering cycles before she can be labeled a "battered woman". The phases are mentioned earlier. It is also important to understand why battered women stay in abusive relationships. A battered woman tends to stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons."

Among those reasons: women are still positively reinforced during the honeymoon phase; women tend to be the peacekeepers in relationships - the ones responsible for making the marriage work; adverse economic consequences; it is more dangerous to leave than to stay; prior threats by batterer to kill self, or children; or to abscond with children; lost self-esteem; and no psychological energy to leave - resulting in a learned helplessness or psychological paralysis.

Battered woman syndrome describes a pattern of psychological and behavioral symptoms found in women living in battering relationships. There are four general characteristics of the syndrome:

1. The woman believes that the violence was her fault.

2. The woman has an inability to place the responsibility for the violence elsewhere.

3. The woman fears for her life and/or her children's lives.

4. The woman has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.

21 Dating Truths You Need To Realize

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Tue, 14 Jan 2014 09:44:00 +0800

1. 95% of the time, they didn't lose their phone. They didn’t drop in the toilet or the bathtub. It wasn’t shut off. They just didn’t want to text you. If not, why aren’t they Facebooking or tweeting you right now?

2. If you’re looking at someone’s online dating profile and there are multiple people in their photo and you say, “Who is that guy? He’s hot!”, the person will never be that guy. He will always be the person standing next to that guy.

3. No one’s ever “too busy” to hang out with you. Lots of busy people still date. Taylor Swift makes time for a new boyfriend every other day.

4. Everyone is allowed to make the first move. We put so much emphasis on seeming detached and unavailable until the last possible moment, worried we might scare them off by actually seeming interested. What if, heaven forbid, we showed them how much we like them? It’s a revolutionary thought, I know.

5. If they’re talking about their ex all the time, they are not over their ex. Did they just break up with someone? Then they are most likely not ready to date, even if they say they are. If they are actually ready, they are a serial monogamist. Don’t go to there.

6. You don’t have to rush into anything. It’s not the end of the world if he doesn’t call you his girlfriend right away. Neither of you are stricken with the bubonic plague. There’s no bomb in your chest that will go off if he doesn’t say, “I love you” in X amount of months. Slow and steady is just fine.

7. If the person you’re dating is dating you as a project or dating you to change you, they are not interested in you. They’re interested in an idea of you. For instance, an article from a couple years ago advised men on how to “subtly” tell their girlfriend she’s getting fat. If your partner subtly tells you to lose weight, subtly tell them they are single.

8. How quickly they text you back says nothing about how they feel about you, unless it’s legitimately a long time. If it takes a week, that’s a problem. But there’s no difference between 26 and 27 minutes. One less minute doesn’t mean true love.

9. Every guy isn’t going to be “the one” — and maybe no guy will. We need to stop asking every person we date to fulfill this singular role. Why not look for “the one who is good right now?” If that person ends up being “the one who sticks around,” great.

10. Your parents are not responsible for your dating life. We’re all fucked up, but we need to stop letting that be an excuse. If you don’t want to get married, don’t get married for your own reasons — not because of other peoples’. Your parents’ marriage says nothing about how yours will turn out.

11. Sex with another person always means something — whether you are dating casually, non-exclusively or are married. You are inside someone. How is that not a big deal? Even if the two of you are open, sex is an inherently meaningful act. Treating it like its nothing is just an indication of how you’re treating your partner — like it’s nothing. No matter your status, be honest and respectful of the other person’s feelings.

12. Their looks don’t correlate with anything else. Hot guys can be jerks, who clueless dorks who live in a bubble of their good looks. However, they can be well-adjusted people, especially if they don’t know they are hot. This, my friends, is what we call a unicorn. Hold onto that horn and never let go.

13. Did they break up with you because they “don’t want to date?” They just don’t want to date you.

14. Do all of your friends hate them? Does your mom hate them? Do people who don’t even know you hate them? Behold the red flag.

15. You’re not going to trick someone into liking you or wear them down. Pining for someone or helplessly waiting around for your mate to get interested in you never got anyone the girl. If you’ve been put in the friendzone, you need to recognize that and move on. It sucks, but the sooner you deal with the suckage, the sooner you can start getting jiggy with someone else. Even DJ Jazzy Jeff found a life after Will Smith.

16. Being nice doesn’t get you anything. There’s this weird idea that if we just put our head down and be “the good guy,” we get rewarded with Shooky-Shooky Time. However, you’re never entitled to anything. The only thing the object of your affection owes you is honesty. If you think that acting a certain way means they have to have sex with you, you’re honestly an asshole.

17. The other sex isn’t as complicated as you think. Almost all problems in this area stem from our lack of communication, our inability to just be honest or let the other person know when we feel like we’re not on the same page. People are pretty simple. You’d find out if you just asked.

18. Potential mates don’t care about your Gucci bag. Designer brands might give you personal confidence, but if we’re talking guys, trust me: they don’t care. They just want you to feel sexy and beautiful, whatever you are wearing. I personally have a thing for girls in boy shorts. I can’t help it. It’s sexy.

19. They won’t fix what your ex did to you. Don’t ask them to. You will bring your emotional baggage into the relationship, but they should not be the one unpacking all of it.

20. Also, your exes weren’t evil, and everything wasn’t their fault. They were good people (for the most part) who just weren’t right for you, just like you weren’t right for them. Taking responsibility for your share of the past will help you take responsibility for the future.

21. You don’t control your dating life. The saying goes that all women have the love life they want. I’m sorry, but that’s bullshit. I know a lot of people who are fucking miserable, and they didn’t ask for that. They just don’t know how to ask for more. We’re lost, and we don’t know what to do with ourselves. Do we just become a spinster? Do we go the mail-order bride route and just sell ourselves into a life of quiet matrimonial slavery?

No, you just get comfortable with the fact that you can’t control everything. You don’t have a crystal ball that tells you if he’s the one — or even if he’ll call you tomorrow. (You can always call him!) The only thing you can do find out for yourself, trusting in your ability to believe this one will be different. That’s the beauty and terror of dating: there’s no map and few certainties. You have to learn to go your own way. Embrace the journey.

Things You Should Never Say/Text to Your Ex

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Thu, 26 Dec 2013 17:37:00 +0800

I Miss You

Girl, you don’t miss him! He hurt you. He played you. He did something bad. There’s a reason you guys broke up. Don’t tell him that you miss him because you don’t! Once you tell him you miss him, his ego will rise and he’s going to think that you’re vulnerable and that he has you wrapped around his finger. He’s going to think that he is the coolest guy in the planet and he’s going to use that to his advantage. Most likely, he’ll tell you that he misses you too, but don’t fall for that! He may truly miss you, but there’s a reason you guys broke and he might do the same thing again. Or he could be lying to you and he doesn't really miss you. He probably just wants to make you believe that he does so that he can feel better about himself.

I Love You

Again with the ego! Don’t let his rise. Guys are prideful and if they think that you feel a strong emotion for them, they are going to use it to their advantage. They will make you believe that they feel the same way when in reality, they probably don’t. You know, if he says he still loves you, he probably doesn't. He’s probably just doing to physically use you and mentally hurt you. You don’t deserve his crap! Don’t fall for it.

Ask them to Hang Out

Girl, you guys are broken up. There’s no need to hang out anymore. For one, it could be really awkward. It’s going to be weird being with him and not calling him babe or any of the nicknames that you would give him. It’s going to be weird not holding his hand. It’s going to be weird not being able to kiss him or hug him the same way you used to. Trust me, that’s going to hurt you inside. Also, the night might not end the way you expect to. He might take advantage of you and use you physically and then you guys could go back to being strangers. Is that what you want? No. You don’t want to be used then forgotten.

Don’t Apologize!

Unless you were the one that cheated or something, you have no reason to be sorry. If he cheated on you, don’t be sorry that he cheated on you. If he hurt you, don’t be sorry for being hurt. Whatever you do, do not apologize to him. He is the one at fault, not you, so why are you apologizing?! When you apologize, it’s going to be obvious to him that you were thinking about him. And while you were thinking about him, he probably wasn't even giving one thought about you. Some people usually apologize to start a conversation. Girl, I know you miss him and all, but try your best not to talk to him. The best way to move on is to ignore him or leave him alone!

I Hate You!

Don’t ever text him saying that you regret being with him. Don’t ever text him in anger. I don’t know what it is with guys, but literally everything you say to them makes their ego rise. If they know that they have angered you, they find some pleasure in that and I have no clue why. They always want to feel superior. And they feel superior when they can affect your emotions that much. You just have to pretend that you don’t care. You have to pretend that he is un-affecting you, even if he is! I know it’s a lot to ask for when I say to pretend to not care about him, but that’s the best way to make a guy angry. Wear him down. Make him think that what he does doesn't bother you at all.

How To Get Over Your Ex?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 14:00:00 +0800

Sorry to break it to you, but it’s over. The relationship has ended. You two are no longer together. You can’t kiss him anymore. You can’t hug him anymore. And you need to accept it. The first step to moving on is to accept that it’s over. You’ve got to understand that you can’t talk to him anymore. You can’t hang out with him anymore. You can’t check up on his social media accounts anymore. You’ve got to delete those old messages. Delete your pictures together. Delete his number. It’s over. Accept it. The hurt will be over soon. You can do it!

Don’t Even Talk to His Friends

Yeah, you probably made friends with his friends. And yeah, they’re probably some really great people. But think about it, they were his friends before they were your friends. So if you were to talk to them about him, they would probably tell him. But you shouldn’t even be talking about him anyways! The reason you shouldn’t be talking to his friends, though is because you shouldn’t even be talking about him at all. You really shouldn’t even be thinking about him at all.

Friends? Nu-uh!!

It was a relationship. It might have been a friendship before that. But it is after now. And it is neither of the above choices. You guys can’t be friends. There’s that cliché line that goes like, “I think that we should just be friends..” But that line is a lie! You can’t be friends with your ex. If you’re friends with your ex, you’ll just end up getting hurt. Because he will be with a new person and it will kill you inside, even if you’ve convinced to yourself that you’re over them. You can’t be just friends with an ex. It’s impossible.

No Calls, Text, Tweet!!

You can’t hit him up! Don’t text him. Don’t call him. Don’t tweet him. Don’t even like his instagram photo. When you contact him, it shows to him that you still think about him. And yeah, maybe you do still think about him, but he doesn’t need to know that. He needs to think that you don’t care- that you’re okay and you’re complete unaffected. Because when you call or him or text him or contact him in anyway, you are making his ego grow. You’re making yourself more vulnerable. He’s going to think that he’s more superior than you because you miss him so much. Well stop! Don’t show him that you miss him.

Don’t tie every little thing to a memory of him

Don’t hurt yourself. He hurt you! He’s stupid. You shouldn’t have to remember him. It’s painful to think of him all the time. But thinking about him is a choice. You don’t have to think about him if you don’t want to. I know that everyone tends to attach memories to songs. And I understand how difficult it is to not think of a memory when listening to music, but all you’ve got to do, is change the song. Don’t let yourself suffer. Also, delete all your guys’ pictures. Throw away or donate the presents he gave you. You don’t need that stuff to remind you of what was.

Be With Your Friends!

Get your mind off of him! Do things with you friends. Your friends are great at getting your mind off stress. They’ll be sure that you do not think about them. Usually, when you’re lonely, you think about things that you don’t want to. Well, if you’re out with your friends, you’ll never have a moment of boredom and you’re mind will be completely off your ex. Trust me, your friends can help you get through a breakup. They might even help you get dates to get your mind off of your ex!

How to Deal With Selfish Lover?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Fri, 22 Nov 2013 08:08:00 +0800

“It was because all we wanted was each other's constant love and attention and for no one else to receive that love and attention, which is a selfish and difficult place to be in a relationship. We were emotionally retarded, and that was the best we could do at the time.”

― Anthony Kiedis, Scar Tissue

Occasionally, you are “that” lover. Then there are times when your partner becomes “that” lover. But when being erotically egocentric isn’t the exception to the rule, having a selfish lover can be a bit of a problem.

Despite the adage that “to give is to receive,” supporting only one person’s wanton welfare gets really old really fast.

At first, it’s hard to fault a lover for being self-consumed during sex. After all, it’s a bit of a compliment — a sign that he or she must be having a really good time. It’s sweet ... until you realize that you’re the one always left hanging. With your lover lost to the pleasuring, you’re getting zero help in becoming sexually satiated as well.

Selfishness happens. But when it’s habit, how do you handle this lover?

People are selfish lovers for different reasons. So dealing with this intimacy killer is going to come down to the type of situation you’re fielding ...

How to deal with selfish people

If you’re traumatized by a selfish person in your own life, don’t hate yourself for it.

It’s not your fault that you didn't see the signs.

No one really realizes that a partner or a friend is selfish at the beginning of the relationship.

You’d only see the signs when it’s too late, and there’s little you can do to change their behavior after that.

What makes a person selfish?

A selfish person is one who cares only for their own pleasures, even if it causes pain to someone else. They have no consideration for anyone else, and worry only about their own comfort. Selfish people are well mannered and nice to everyone, but they’re nice only as long as they get something more back in return from the people around them.

The irony of it all is that a selfish person wouldn't even know they’re being selfish. They’d just assume they’re nice people who care about their own happiness more than anything else. But in their pursuit of their own happiness, they carelessly and intentionally walk all over the shattered hearts of any loving person around them.

One of the easiest ways to recognize a selfish partner or a friend is their trait of always extracting more from you, and yet, they never give anything back to you in equal measures.

The mind of selfish people

A relationship is an exchange of emotions. In every successful relationship, both partners give and take from each other in equal measures without keeping count. And everything’s just perfect.

But when one partner stops giving back to the relationship, the relationship starts to fail.

When you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, they would continue to extract your love and your affections. But they’d stop giving any love or affection back in return which would leave you feeling weak, unappreciated and miserable.

So why did you fall prey to this selfish person?

In a perfectly happy relationship between friends or lovers, both the involved people consider each other as equals. But when a selfish partner or friend starts to believe that they’re more important than the other partner in the relationship, they’d convince themselves that their partner needs them more than they need their partner.

It is very important that you understand this fundamental idea, because this is the foundation of all selfishness. If your friend or lover believes they don’t really need you but you need them a lot, that’s when they expect you to do all the giving, while they extract everything you can give.

A selfish person will behave selfishly around you only when they truly believe that you need them more.

Selfish people are skilled manipulators by instinct. If you’re being used by a selfish friend who sees you as an emotionally weak target, you may even find yourself confused and lost. You may wonder why you’re the only one feeling miserable around this selfish person while everyone else thinks so highly of them. But that’s only because you lovingly handed over the strings to control you like a puppet to them.

Dealing with the hurt and the pain

When you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, no matter what you do, they’d constantly make you feel like you aren’t giving enough back to them. Even the love you have for this person would feel one sided and painful, because none of your feelings would be reciprocated.

A relationship with a selfish person would make you feel like you’re living through a heartbreak every day. No matter what you do, they’d still pick flaws with you or overlook your nice side. And even your nicest friendly or romantic gestures would be treated as ordinary and nothing spectacular.

And while you try to please them by bending over backwards, their expectations from you would constantly increase all the time. And before you know it, you’d be hurt all the time and craving for the smallest sign of appreciation from this selfish person just to feel like you’re doing something right.

10 signs of selfish person

It doesn't matter if you’re dating a selfish person or best friends with one. The signs to recognize a selfish person are almost always the same. Use these 10 signs and ask yourself if that special someone is nothing but a selfish and bad person.

#1 A selfish person is excessively friendly and will go out of their way to be nice to you, though only at the beginning of the relationship.

#2 A selfish friend or partner always asks for favors, big or small.

#3 They always squirm out of helping you when you need their help.

#4 You can sense a selfish person’s fakeness when they talk to others. They try to appear very friendly and sweet to everyone, even if you know that they hate the person.

#5 They use others all the time. And they share a laugh with you and tell you how they used someone else to get something done.

#6 Selfish people are people pleasers. But once you get to know them well, they start to show their lazy and aloof side.

#7 If you meet someone who’s a kiss-ass who’s always eager to please you with compliments or fake smiles, stay away from them. A truthful person may seem harsh, but they say things the way they see it. Excessively friendly people almost always have ulterior motives that are selfish.

#8 A selfish friend or lover never commits to anything unless they can get some benefit or favor out of it. They would never do anything selflessly for your benefit.

#9 A selfish person always has a carefree attitude and takes nothing seriously. Even when you talk about how hurt you feel, they make you feel stupid for making a big deal out of nothing.

#10 Selfish people are liars and manipulators. They never want to apologize because they think you’re beneath them. Instead, they resort to lies.

So, are you a selfish lover? Take this quiz!

5 steps to stop a selfish person from hurting you

A selfish person can hurt you a lot and leave you on the floor, feeling miserable and wretched. But there are ways to regain your strength and stop a selfish person from hurting you. Read these 5 steps and use them to stop a selfish person from hurting you.

#1 Realization. This is the hardest step, and as much as this friend or lover means to you, you need to ask yourself if you’re being used in the relationship. If you feel like you’re doing all the giving while the other person only takes, big chances are, you’re being used in the relationship. Learn to see the signs and more importantly, learn to accept it when you think you’re being used.

#2 Detachment. If you’re not happy in a relationship, you’d definitely feel miserable all the time. It’s not easy to break away from a selfish person, especially when they mean so much to you. Confronting or breaking away won’t help you, because this selfish person may not care whether you exist and that would hurt you more.

Instead, learn to detach yourself slowly, a little more with each passing day. As you start the detachment step, you’d be more aware and you’d see this person’s selfish side even more clearly. And that’ll give you the strength to move away soon.

#3 Retain your personality. Don’t change overnight. If you change overnight, your selfish mate may walk away from you the next morning and that would hurt you more and leave you feeling weaker.

On the other hand, this selfish person may realize that you’re starting to stand up for yourself and in the fear of losing you, they may start to show more affection to you just to change you back to the meek old self. Don’t fall for that ploy. Pretend like you’re still the same person, but within yourself, start the change to become a stronger you.

#4 Replicate their behavior. When you feel like you have the strength to stand up for yourself and face the situation, let your selfish lover or friend see themselves in you. Replicate their behavior, and start behaving just like they do. Try to use them or be fake, just like this selfish person. It’s time they get a taste of their own medicine.

By doing this, it would help you in two ways. It will help you get back at this selfish person. And at the same time, it will help you see for yourself how you were being manipulated by this person.

#5 Drift away. Selfish people never change. They just look for someone to use, and quite frankly, they can’t help it themselves. So if you’re in a relationship with a selfish someone, don’t try to change them. It will never work. Get back at them by behaving just like how they would behave with you, and whenever you feel like you’ve got your vengeance and have the strength to move, walk away for good.

You can’t build a relationship with selfish people who don’t have the ability to love you or care for you ever. So really, why bother?

How to Deal with Racist People

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Fri, 4 Oct 2013 07:23:00 +0800

Everyday racism has to be tackled by ordinary people.—Adele Horin, Sydney Morning Herald

Growing up in a society in which the face of racial discrimination is often masked and ignored by social media, it is difficult to see where and how we still need to change. Some may argue that we do not need to change, that racism does not exist today.

Sure there are the fading generations of racists that still dwell within small areas of our nation, but we, as a majority, have grown and evolved beyond the racist conventions that polluted our society in the past. People are no longer judged based on the color of their skin or their ethnic background. As Martin Luther King, Jr. had hoped, people are now judged by the content of their character. Sadly, this perspective is not yet a reality.

React calmly

Convey disapproval or discomfort, without provoking a defensive reaction.
Question their use of the words or action so you can gauge their intent: “Why do you say/do that?”
Convey your feelings: Let them know how the comment or joke makes you feel.
Question their fear. These can be very useful moments to question someone’s fear and ignorance.
Don’t get triggered. Racists want to push your button to get you angry. Just laugh and keep walking.
Compliment them on something: ‘Nice shirt’, ‘Nice beard’ or just ‘Love you, mate’.

Research found that speaking up is good for the bystander (lasting satisfaction of having done something), good for the victim of the racist attack (feel a sense of belonging and less damaged by the abuse) and possibly good for the offender (bystander action disproves that their prejudice is the norm and may make them less ready to express it)

React towards the issue, not the person

Proverb: Buddha says when someone fires an arrow into you, you don’t try and find out who fired the arrow and what they are all about. You concentrate on getting the arrow out.
Avoid calling someone ‘racist’. People get more upset about being called racist than the fact that their actions were racist.
Beware of professional racists. “Undercover racists” spend their whole lives trying to be undercover. They have perfected the act of flipping the script no matter what you say about them.
Point out what breaks social norms. Tell them that their message or action was racist. Doing this conveys social norms (i.e. what is considered to be acceptable).

Example response to a racist email: Reply with a very short email to the effect of: “I received [the thing] you forwarded to me. I think it is racist and was very offended by it. Please do not forward anything like that to me in the future.” Sign off as you usually do with that person (no emotions).

Example responses to a racist ethnicity comment:

Tell them that you distant yourself and your family from them because you don’t agree with their beliefs. Wish them the best in life and tell them that when they change their tune, they can apologize and re-enter your life.
Tell them that God loves every color, that’s why he created so many of them.

Example response to a racist joke: “Would you want your daughter or son to hear that joke come out of your mouth?”

Don’t follow your initial emotional response

Control your anger. If you’re getting worked up you only suffer high blood pressure and stress.
Consider them “learners”. Remember that they might be less enlightened and tolerant than you are. They might not even know that their comment or action is racist.
Remain calm. Anger is a weapon only to one’s opponent.
Expect ignorance. People’s ability to convince themselves they’re not racist is astounding (”I’m not racist, but…”).

Don’t reveal personal details

Racists love details about your life. When a friend of mine was racially challenged online he started to reveal personal details to prove his case. Don’t do that. Racists will use your data against you.

Don’t react at all

Don’t waste your energy. People give racist comments for the sole reason of getting attention. Any response, even negative, gives them exactly what they want.
Focus on other things. By completely ignoring them they are less likely to continue.

Research shows the overwhelming majority of bystanders witnessing a racist incident will remain silent and do nothing, mainly out of fear.

Don’t educate

Avoid teaching. Don’t get into a big debate or try to educate the person.
Avoid preaching. Unless you see some indication that the person was willing to listen and to dialogue don’t try to change their beliefs.

Making Sex Video: The Pleasure and Disorder

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Wed, 7 Aug 2013 16:16:00 +0800

“If you want to be famous, just make a sex tape.” - Demi Lovato

Like Kim Kardashian, Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton and many more celebrities are once involved in sex videos controversy. However, not only Hollywood personalities and other entertainers engage in the practice, but also sports figures and politicians even for normal people. Being part of a modern couple that doesn't subscribe to traditional sexual mores, you've even talk about it with your partner. Making sex video may be a great idea, but it's a very fragile art and not one to be leaped into lightly.

When done right, videotaping yourselves (may) bring you closer together as a couple. However, there are several pitfalls that must be head off to guarantee that your video is a make rather than break moment for your relationship.

I have quoted these theory of Resty S.Odon's blog about “Why do people make sex videos?” post stating that;

To have a souvenir of love and sex conquest, in a perverse sense of personal achievement/fulfillment?
To have something titillating to watch over and over again when bored?
To imitate in real life what they often watch online, porn, thinking carefully staged porn portrayal to be real and thus normal?
To have a handy evidence in the future just in case the lover denies the relationship/what happened?
To have a means to get back at the lover someday by blackmail in case she opts out/drops him for another?
Because having a sex video is cool nowadays, not something sick; after all, Hollywood stars do it all the time?
Because sex and women have become dirt-cheap?
Because men unknowingly hate women so much they would want to use them then embarrass them then discard them like used condoms?
To demonstrate one's sex prowess? To earn bragging rights or something to boast to friends over a few drinks?
All of the above?

To put my two cents here, I’d like to add a theory as an “EGO” argument for why your man wants to make a sex video . I think this has to be the most plausible reason for dude’s making sex tapes. I mean, I get how making a video can be sexy. You get to act like porn stars. Pretending you’re being filmed or watched adds a naughty, exhibitionist rush to what’s basically a role playing game.

But sometimes I can’t help but think that there are men out there who thinks of sex video as a trophy. Who knows? They watch them when their self-esteem is low? Or maybe the plan is to be able to watch themselves in their prime, nailing hot tight bodies when they are old.

In MedpageToday.com's website, Michele R. Berman MD the author of “What Were Theythinking? Why People Make Sex Tapes”, she stated these disorder:

Exhibitionistic Disorder (DSM-5, proposed)

A. Over a period of at least six months, recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, or sexual behaviors involving the exposure of one's genitals to an unsuspecting stranger.

B. The person is distressed or impaired by these attractions, or has sought sexual stimulation from exposing the genitals to three or more unsuspecting strangers on separate occasions.

Voyeuristic Disorder (DSM-5, proposed)

A. Over a period of at least six months, recurrent and intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or sexual behaviors involving the observing of an unsuspecting person who is naked, in the process of disrobing, or engaging in sexual activity.

B. The person is distressed or impaired by these attractions, or has sought sexual stimulation from observing three or more unsuspecting persons who are naked, disrobing, or engaging in sexual activity on separate occasions.

Both exhibitionism and voyeurism are paraphilic disorders (others include fetishism, sadomasochism, transvestism, frotteurism and pedophilia). Pathologic narcissism falls into an entirely different category of mental illnesses referred to as personality disorders which also include paranoid, antisocial, borderline and obsessive-compulsive disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder and bullying will be the subjects of a future story.

When making sex videos...

It may be tempting to let out your inner exhibitionist, think over this consequences:

Your boss will know what your O face looks like.
Thanks to Google and YouTube – your next generation will be able to see that.
When you're in bed with a new guy or babe, you'll always wonder if he's grabbing your boobs and thinking, "Hey! These looked a lot bigger on my phone!"

Get an App!!

Yes, an app! There's an app for making sex video where you can create, share, compete and of course protect your sex videos/sex tapes using IntiMate app;

Features:

Shoot tapes or even pictures directly IntiMate app.
It has “DELETE FOR EVER”, the sex tapes are only stored n their IntiMate system and cannot be copied or shared without your permission.
It has “SHARE from STRANGERS” where you can screen all social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, Email, your phone or even geographical areas. Your sex tape remains “INVISIBLE” to anyone connected less than 3 degrees to you.
It has also a “PROTECT” option wherein IntiMate will encrypt with password only to you, so whenever someone will rob your phone, SD card, or even your computer/laptop, they can never access it because password is always requested to view it.
It has “Share Ownership” wherein your sex videos owned by you and your partner, if you deleter your partner deletes the tape, one can't access it anymore.
(I find it funny) but, intiMate app has “CHALLENGES” option wherein you can compete with other couples or team and even vote for the best sex videos. (Wow!!)

Download now!

Do it for Fun and not for Blackmail!

It should go without saying that making a sex video should only proceed with the permission of both partners.

With a little knowledge and preparation, you can be sure that your first sex video won't be your last.

Top 10 Signs That He’s Just Not That Into You

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Tue, 30 Jul 2013 09:21:00 +0800

Have you recently met a guy and have been pondering whether or not he’s into you? Telling if a guy is actually into you is much easier than most women think. Often time’s women let their own personal feelings get in the way of their thinking and later realize that they have been wasting time with a guy that doesn’t actually like them.

Regardless of age, or level of dating experience, reading men’s interest in you can be a struggle. Many men prefer to stay mysterious, go for privacy in all areas of their lives until they are ready to make a serious commitment. Lucky you if he will tell you his purposes up front. But for most men, grasping on to their subtle (and not-so-subtle) cues can be an easier way to get their message and avoid unnecessary heartbreak.

Relationships are really complicated, and understanding guys are such a pain in the ass. So, how to tell if a guy is not just really into you? Since most of my friends are guy, I have collected their views on what do they do if they don’t like the girl and these signs (according to my guy friends) will help you decide whether you’re on the right track or wasting your time with the wrong man.

During the first date…

1. Eye contact

Whether you're on a first date or celebrating your first anniversary, if he won't make eye contact you may be seeing the beginning of the end.

2. You always initiate the conversation

If you're always the one who ask questions or tell stories about anything, and you have to carry the conversational ball whenever the two of you are together, it may mean that his mind is on something (or someone) - other than you.

3. Roving his eye

Men look at other women once in a while, BUT if he spends more time scanning the room than engaging with you, then, he’s just not into you.

4. Bring-a-friend

If he suddenly starts bringing a friend along when you thought the two of you were getting together for a little one-on-one time, it's an unquestionable sign that you are no longer the focus of his attention.

Hint: If he often talks about other person you both know; flattering their assets and spotting how much you and that person have in common, he may be encouraging you to move on without wanting to hurt your feelings with an actual rejection.

After the first date…

5. He is not asking you out!

When a he likes you, he can’t stop himself – he is eager to know you more and he’s going to want to take it further. If he’s not making a move, it’s not because he is “scared”. The only thing he is scared of is how not attracted to you he is.

6. Communication

"I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting." – Mary (He’s Just Not Into you movie)

· Phone

When he says, “Sorry, I’m busy” (didn’t have a moment in his busy day to call you) that’s a red flag! The real reason is that you are not on his mind. If a man leads you to expect he will call and then doesn’t follow through on such a little thing, he will never follow through on big things. Be aware he is okay with the idea he is disappointing you. I know everyone gets busy, but c’mon, the whole world also has caller ID these days!

If you are the one who initiates the call and he repeatedly fails to answer his phone when you call, your timing perhaps isn't the only thing that's bad.

· Text message and E-mail

If it now takes him hours to reply to your text messages when he used to be lightning fast, it may be a sign that he's not just into you. Texting only takes a few seconds and can be done everywhere, even walking along the street, so what's the hold up?

By doing so, he avoids the “getting to know you” conversations. He really isn’t interested in moving things forward. He wants the down and dirty. So, the big question is, when can he see you (again)? If you have already had sex, his text or e-mail is to set up his next booty call. He usually navigates the conversation towards telling you how sexy you are and how he can’t wait to see you again. (Yeah right!)

7. The Bubble

If the guy you're dating disappears for days or weeks at a time without explanation - just dropping out of sight and not responding to calls - it’s a clear sign!

But if you've been dating for a while…

8. That “Something!”

If he invites you to hang out, coffee, watch a movie or something, “Something” means having sex (now you know). If you always go to the restaurant, because it is his favorite, he isn’t trying to please you. More than likely, he goes to different restaurants with different women. A guy that is really into you will plan a date. Even if the date doesn’t cost him a dime, he will plan.

9. He’s late, always!

Anyone can get held up at work or hit heavy traffic now and then, but if he is always late for his dates with you, then you're not as high on his priority list as you should be.

10. In his place…

If you've had more than a few dates and you've never seen where he lives, ask yourself why. He may be trying to stay incognito, and out-of-the-way, in case things don't work out - or he may be hiding something. Hmmn…

Sometimes, there are those time we can do nothing but to admit that the guy we like doesn't like us. We can't spend our time speculating, "Why isn't he calling? Why doesn't he care?" Well, it's time to break your daydream and face the reality; he's just not that into you.

He never really was into you , he just wanted to hook up.
So, move on!!!
Don't call him first or text him sometimes if you don't want to lose contact at all. If he doesn't like you in first month, there's no way for you to drive him there after that so.
So, get the truth. Don't go and ask, "Do you like me, or will you ever do in this life?” Though you really want to know. Calculate the probability in his words with your true mind without any wishes or hopes. Ask something about love life and see how he answers. Just because he doesn't call you for 3 days, don't jump in the conclusion and rush into another guy.
Love yourself before loving anyone else!

Self-Love is Good: Surprsingly Health Benefits of Masturbation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 22 Jul 2013 16:06:00 +0800

Hand job, Wanking, Onanism, Jack off, Jill off, Jerk off, Frottage, Clicking the five-fingered mouse, Ringing southern bells, Choking the chicken, Playing with Rosie palm and her five sisters. Whatever you call it, we’re talking about masturbation. And though you do it (or don’t do it), there is nothing wrong with taking some “me” time to pleasure, getting to know your body, and discovering what turns you on.

We’ve long known how important a healthy sex life is to everyone’s health and well-being. Yet, according to Martha Cornog, of "The Big Book of Masturbation", self-cultivation is certainly the second most common human sex act. And, regardless of its hot history, that’s proving to be a good thing. Turns out this once taboo behavior have surprisingly health benefits for your sex life.

Why masturbate?

Some people use masturbation as way of releasing tension or passion, while others use it to get ready for sexy time with a partner. Even others might masturbate together as part of a relationship or hook up; masturbation is actually the safest form of sex out there.

Megan Andelloux, BS, ACS, a board certified sexologist and executive director of the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, “Masturbation is one of the healthiest ways a person can explore and enhance their sexuality, not only does it allow someone to own the sexual feelings and sensations that might be coursing through their mind and body, but it also provides people with the privilege of autonomy,”

Megan Andelloux said that there are not only emotional benefits but health benefits too; “Masturbation circulates blood flow to the genital region, keeping the tissues and the veins in a healthy, active state. Masturbation has been found to boost the immune system – keeping colds and sniffles away, and elevating moods if someone is feeling slightly depressed,” she said.

Benefits for Men

Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist in Athens, Ga., said, “It relieves stress and keeps everything about your body—your heart rate, blood pressure, reproductive system, brain chemistry—in very good shape, Men are doing themselves a favor with regular ejaculation, it cleans out the plumbing."

Regularly flushing your system, so to speak, keeps your semen healthy and prevents the buildup of cancer-causing chemicals.
Masturbation also helps combat premature ejaculation.

It fights depression. Masturbation releases the mood –enhancing substances serotonin and dopamine. No more need for Prozac!
No chance of sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy.
Building his resistance to prostate gland infection.

Benefits For Women

Ladies, if you are having trouble masturbating aside from using your fingers, try to experiment with vibrators - a common way for women to learn to achieve orgasm.

Vibrators can be helpful to boost your sexual repertoire.

Building her resistance to yeast infections.
Combating pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with their menstrual cycles, like cramps.
Relieving chronic back pain and increasing her threshold for pain.

This video is really helpful about masturbating, as Moushumi Ghose said, “...just because you are in a relationship and having sex doesn’t mean you stop masturbating” “Masturbation does NOT replace sex.”

Nowadays, masturbation is a normal and healthy process with a lot of benefits that will enhance your sex drive, mood and overall well-being.

Orgasm while masturbating release certain “sleep hormone” which helps you get a relaxing sleep. Men emit a hormone known as Prolactin, which is associated with the need for the refractory period or “resting period” in between before going at it again. It also is known to aid in feeling tired and sleep right after. The other 2 hormones Oxytocin and Vasopressin also help in feeling satisfied and sleepy after an orgasm. So if you’re dealing with sleep issues, just have some “me” time and have a good night sleep.
For men, it helps increase the amount of time you can keep going at a stretch during sex as you can control your ejaculations better. For women it increases strength and longevity which allows for multiple and intense orgasms.
It also helps heighten pain threshold in general and specifically when it comes to sex.
It boosts immunity and releases mild sedatives which helps in body aches and relaxes your body.
It helps prevents illnesses.
Masturbating will help you direct positive emotions towards people you care about.
It helps boost your self-esteem and your sexual interactions with your partner.

But are your self-pleasure habits normal?

If masturbation is interfering with your sleep or work, you should see a therapist.

Self-Love is good!

Getting familiar with your body through masturbating is also a good way to know what you like, to know what turns you on, and can be a fun and thrilling thing to introduce to our partner, too.

Masturbation will not put hair on your palms, make you go blind, kill a kitten, cause infertility, or make you turn gay – if it does, there would be a much bigger LGBT population!

What is does do is let you to understand your body better, help you to release tension and track sexual pleasure on your own, provide an option for a safer sex activity with partners, and let you explore your own fantasies.

So, go touch yourself!

Oral Sex: A Down There Disease Risks

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Wed, 5 Jun 2013 09:58:00 +0800

After Michael Douglas’ interview of his throat cancer revelation - diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago, was quoted as telling The Guardian newspaper his strain of cancer had been caused by HPV (human papillomavirus). Although the biggest risk factors for throat cancer are smoking and drinking heavily.

However, he was also right that HPV - which can be transmitted by oral sex - also poses a risk. Since oral sex is a pleasure and a healthy part of relationship. But there are some things that many people don't know about oral sex. Here are the facts that might surprise you.

What is Oral Sex?

Oral sex involves giving or receiving oral stimulation (i.e., sucking or licking) to the penis, the vagina, and/or the anus.

Fellatio - is the technical term used to describe oral contact with the penis.
Cunnilingus - is the technical term which describes oral contact with the vagina.
Anilingus - (also known as “rimming”) refers to oral-anal contact.

Studies indicate that oral sex is commonly practiced by sexually active male-female and same-gender couples of various ages, including adolescents. Although there are only limited national data about how often adolescents engage in oral sex, some data suggest that many adolescents who engage in oral sex do not consider it to be “sex;” therefore they may use oral sex as an option to experience sex while still, in their minds, remaining abstinent.

Moreover, many consider oral sex to be a safe or no-risk sexual practice. In a national survey of teens conducted for The Kaiser Family Foundation, 26% of sexually active 15- to 17-year-olds surveyed responded that one “cannot become infected with HIV by having unprotected oral sex,” and an additional 15% didn’t know whether or not one could become infected in that manner.

Does oral sex really linked to throat cancer?

It's not oral sex, per se, that causes cancer, but the human papillomavirus (HPV), which can be passed from person to person during sex, including oral sex.

What are the risks of HPV?

Human papillomavirus is an infection that causes genital warts. In England, they are the second most common type of sexually transmitted infection after chlamydia.

In most cases, genital HPV infections cause no real symptoms and clear up by themselves without causing any problems.

HPV comes in more than 100 different strains and some can trigger cancers.

Most cases of genital warts are caused by 'low-risk' HPV types 6 and 11, meaning they do not pose a significant cancer risk.

High-risk types include HPV 16 and 18 which can cause cancer of the cervix in women.

High-risk HPV infections are also associated with cancer of the penis, vulva, vagina, anus, mouth and throat.

Other types of HPV can cause visible warts and verrucas, such as those commonly seen on the hands and feet.

Although HPV is implicated in some throat cancers, smoking and alcohol are far more common risk factors.

How is HPV spread?

Genital warts can be spread during vaginal or anal sex, and by sharing sex toys. However, you do not need to have penetrative sex to pass the infection on because HPV is spread by skin-to-skin contact.

HPV infection can also be spread through oral sex.

It can take up to one year for warts to develop after infection with HPV. Therefore, if you are in a relationship and you get genital warts, it does not necessarily mean your partner has been having sex with other people.

HPV is most likely to be transmitted to others when warts are present, but it is still possible to pass the virus on before the warts have developed and after they have disappeared.

Condoms do not provide complete protection because it is possible for the skin around the genital area (not covered by the condom) to become infected.

How do you know that you have genital warts?

Some infected people will show no signs, while others will have visible warts.

In women, warts occur on the inside and outside of the vagina, on the cervix (neck of the womb) or around the anus. In men, genital warts may occur on the tip or shaft of the penis, or around the anus.

Other down there diseases

Several sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV, herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, HPV, and viral hepatitis can be passed on through oral sex.

"Oral sex is not safe sex," says Terri Warren, RN, owner of Westover Heights Clinic in Portland, Ore., a private clinic specializing in STDs. "It's safer sex, but it's definitely not safe sex.”

The risks depend on a lot of different things, including how many sexual partners you have, your gender, and what particular oral sex acts you engage in.

Using barrier protection can reduce the risk of getting any disease. A barrier can be a condom covering the penis, or a plastic or latex "dental dam" placed over the vulva or anus. Instead of a prepackaged dental dam, a condom cut open to make a sheet is also an acceptable barrier.

Remember you can only pick up human papillomavirus (HPV) from someone who has one. However, it is not always easy to know whether you have an HPV or not. Most cases are either symptomless or have symptoms which are mild and go unnoticed. Often the only way of finding out whether we have HPV is by having a checkup and the relevant tests.

Condoms for Women: Safe or Shame?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 16:12:00 +0800

Yes, you read it right, a female condom. Although the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved female condoms in 1993, they haven't just been embraced. While the proper use of a male condom is frequently demonstrated using a banana, health workers show how to use female condom using a vagina model or a hand.

It has flexible rings at each end. Just before vaginal intercourse, it is inserted deep into the vagina. The ring at the closed end holds the pouch in the vagina. The ring at the open end stays outside the vaginal opening during intercourse. And during anal intercourse, it is inserted into the anus.

By covering the inside of the vagina or anus and keeping semen and pre-cum out, condoms reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

How Safe Are Female Condoms?

Almost everyone can use female condoms safely. Actually, female condoms can be used by just about any woman who can use a tampon. They are also safe to use during anal sex.

How to use female condom

Put spermicide or lubricant on the outside of the closed end.
Find a comfortable position. You can stand with one foot on a chair, sit on the edge of a chair, lie down, or squat.
Squeeze together the sides of the inner ring at the closed end of the condom and insert it into the vagina like a tampon.
Push the inner ring into the vagina as far as it can go — until it reaches the cervix.
Pull out your finger and let the outer ring hang about an inch outside the vagina.
If you want to use the female condom for anal intercourse, follow above instructions for inserting it into the anus.
During vaginal intercourse, it is normal for the female condom to move side to side. Stop intercourse if the penis slips between the condom and the walls of the vagina or if the outer ring is pushed into the vagina. As long as your partner has not yet ejaculated, you can gently remove the condom from the vagina, add extra spermicide or lubricant, and insert it once again.

If your partner has ejaculated outside the female condom into your vagina, you may want to consider using emergency contraception (morning after pill). Emergency contraception can prevent pregnancy if started up to five days after unprotected intercourse. The sooner you start it, the better it will work.

To remove the female condom
Squeeze and twist the outer ring to keep semen inside the pouch.
Gently pull it out of the vagina or anus.
Throw it away. Do not flush it down the toilet.
Do not reuse the female condom.

And there’s a video of how to use it. Sadly, it’s animated. Hahaha

Male Condoms vs Female Condoms

Availability: Male condoms are certainly available whereas availability of female condoms is quite low.

Price: Female condoms are relatively expensive then male condoms.

Effectiveness: Both the condoms provide effective protection against sexual transmitted diseases (STDs) and unwanted pregnancy

Lubricants: With female condoms you can either use oil-based or water-based lubricants. If you are using male latex condoms then only water based lubricants can be used. But, if the condom is made up of polyurethane or lamb intestine then you can safely use any kind of lubricant.

Usage: Male condoms are placed just before intercourse. Female condoms can be inserted 8 hours before sex.

Comfort: Some people complain that it is difficult to insert female condoms, particularly the inner rim of the condom. Some criticize them for the fact that they move during the act and is really confusing. On the contrary, male condom tightly fits around the penis and stays on its place while you have sex. If you are not using right size then it can slip or break.

Types of Female Condom

FC Condom

They are also known as “reality condom” with lubricant. A loose fitted plastic tube which is worn inside the vagina wherein the open end remains outside the vagina while the closed end covers the cervix.

FC2 Condom

Made from synthetic nitrile which is somewhat cheaper that FC condom, where the inner ring facilitated insertion while the outer ring helps condom to be on right place during the intercourse.

Path Women's Condom

Path condoms are made of polyurethane. Many women complain that the inner ring of the condom cause pain so it is been replaced by foam dots. Inner ring of the condom is replaced by foam dots for easy insertion. Besides this polyurethane is refined to get softer and thinner product, this provides more comfort to the person using it.

VA Wow condom

It is made up of latex material and has flexible V frame along with foldable inner sponge that holds the condom during sex. VA Wow condoms are lubricated and claim to have 97% customer satisfaction.

Being Jealous Is Healthy!

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 06:58:00 +0800

“Jealousy is not a sign of no trust but a sign of possessiveness. And it is not a sign of immaturity but rather love.”

Being a jealous partner is typically not seen as a great feature, but a latest survey has shown that a significant number of people thought jealousy was good for their relationship. Cupid online dating conducted the survey and found that 72% of women thought that a bit of jealousy was a good thing, matched to 65% of men.

People described that a little jealousy showed that their partner cared, with most preferring a green eyed boyfriend to one who was less devoted. We're all a little bit guilty of being envious too, with two thirds of men and women admitting to experiencing the feeling themselves.

A spokesperson from Cupid online explained that even thinkers such as Sigmund Freud cite jealousy as a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Too much and it can be damaging, but feeling a little bit vulnerable or protective is an animal instinct, and it's totally normal.

But you must keep in mind, everything in moderation. A little bit is fine, stalking your partner is not.

The X-Rated - Kamasutra Sex Position

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Tue, 23 Oct 2012 09:09:00 +0800

Who said that guys are the only ones who love X-Rated things? The X-Rated position gives you total control, so try with different types of stimulation to see what thrills you both most. Your man will love relinquishing power and watching you taking charge of your own orgasm. It doesn’t hurt to add some X-Rated noises, moans and yells, letting him know just how good he feels.

How To:

He lies face up on the bed; you turn around and straddle him, so your back is toward him. You then lower yourself onto him. you have to extend your legs back toward his shoulders, relaxing her torso onto the bed between his feet. With both your legs and his forming an X-shape, you start to slide up and down.

You can use his feet for added thrusting control. Keep things moving in all directions by using your vaginal muscles and move your buttocks up and down or back and forth to heighten the sensation even more. It’s up to you to decide what to do. To him, nothing could be steamier than a sexy woman calling the shots.

Why Do People Fall Out Of Love?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 18:41:00 +0800

I have been in love many times and it is a great feeling and experience for me. But time came when either my partner or I fell out of love. Let’s just say I do not feel the same anymore. I saw a quotation that says “I wanted everything to stay the same ... but feelings fade and people change.”

That is indeed true but why do people fall out of love? How will they say to their partner that it’s not them who they want to be with anymore? People fall in love for reasons and many relationships failed because they are all the wrong reasons for being in love. Some people get into relationships because they feel empty or worthless when they are single. Some people get hooked because their friends are in relationships and they feel aloof in the game of love. Some might be constantly interrogated by family as to when they are settling down. So there is pressure, either direct or indirect, on both men and women to fall in love.

Distance can be one of the factors, most long distance relationships that I knew never last (well that depends on the people involved, right?) and at the end they will just break up and think that it will not work out. As for my experience, I have been into that kind of relationship; to be honest I cannot bear the distance.

Lack of communication wherein one is unwilling to discuss relationship problems is another reason. Don’t hesitate to talk with your partner regularly. People fall out of love because they don’t talk through their relationship bothers with each other. If you’re in a new relationship, fix things up early on to keep the love alive over the long haul. It is much easier to address issues earlier in a relationship than later, just as it is much harder to mold cement once it has dried and hardened. I had a partner whom never talks when we have some petty fights and God!, the silence is killing me, (because I’m very argumental person).

The key is have an open communication. If you don’t like her expressions, say it to her face, if you cannot bear her anymore then tell her. Couples fall out of love when they can’t find a way to make the partnership healthy for both people involved. Creativity and open minds are the stuff of lasting love; silence and blaming, though? Not so much.

People change. Maybe they get bored with each other. Over time, people can change or become who they really are. Someone who loved his longtime girlfriend may suddenly realize he always wanted to be with anymore, people evolve; circumstances change — and sometimes, relationships can’t be sustained as a result. The kind of change that leads to love lost is always about a buried longing to be someone that’s suppressed inside. Have time to know your partner to avoid this lost-love syndrome, in other words, don’t neglect someone you care about.

No matter what the reason, all problems can be fixed if couples are willing to commit to each other and work towards building and strengthening their bonds. Men and women should not think their partners are mind readers. You have to talk to each other. Relationships flourish only where there is trust, understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. It is important to be truthful to yourself to be truthful to your partner. Love heals every scar.

G-Spot Jiggy Position: Pleasure From Behind

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Thu, 11 Oct 2012 17:34:00 +0800

One of the best sex positions a woman could get! This position will keep you asking for more and more and more, believe me! *wink*… Anyway, if you haven’t did this, try it and you will see.

How To Do It:

Get down on all fours with your man kneeling behind you and have him plunge inside you, holding of your back for balance. A little firm, well-placed stroking of your G-spot can open up a whole new orgasmic world. If he’s the exploring kind, let him thrust far enough inside you so that his testicles hit your rear.

Once you have a G-spot orgasm, you’ll crave for more. Also, there’s something very important about doing the deed from behind that brings out the monster in even the most behaved dude.

If the doggy-style pose does not make you hot enough, accessorize! You may use, it will definitely boost up the action. Plus, bringing a toy between the sheets could take your relationship to a whole new level since a touch of taboo is always a turn-on.

There are many direct variants of Doggy Style position, some of the more common are:

Both of your are standing.

Lowering your chest so that it is resting on the couch or bed.

Your chest on the bed, but his knees on the floor.

The most traditional version of the Doggy Style position is straightforward; you on all fours with your partner holding on your butt or sides. Although Doggy Style is a huge hit with just about every guy, some women need time to open up to it due to the lack of face-to-face contact. That being said, once you tried it, you will become big fan of it as well, like me! :)

New Love After A Heart Break? - How Will It Work?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Wed, 3 Oct 2012 08:48:00 +0800

Find out that your best friend who just broke up with her long-time beau is dating this new hot guy in your office. Or saw the newspaper and your favorite Hollywood stars are hooking up to this one sought after bachelor? For example, Ashton Kutcher is rumored having a romantic relationship with "The Black Swan" star, Mila Kunis., whom just broke up with his cougar lady love Demi Moore.

So how these people do it? How they manage to find a new love right after their break-up or rather why? How do they begin a new relationship right after the old one ended? Well, it is because it is one of the best ways to get over heartbreak.

When you find someone that you like to be with right after a painful break-up, this new person helps you forget the excruciating pain, make you feel better and comforted. It’s similar to being stuck in a hailstorm and then coming home to a fireplace and blanket.

After a break-up you find yourself disoriented, unstable. You might find yourself breaking down all of a sudden; find yourself getting emotional for the most small of things. A new person in your life brings with him/her stability, a much needed support, like a crutch when you have had a fracture. He/she lifts your confidence, your self-esteem to where it formerly was, makes you happy and keeps you from doing senseless things like calling your ex after getting drunk. Falling in love right away will plug the holes and keep them from leaking.

And what if this person is the original Mr. or Ms. Right? What if the lessons you learned from past relationship actually help you in choosing the right partner this time around? It can happen. Your internal radar may actually lead you the perfect partner. So, go with your instinct. Just like with every relationship, don’t over analyze. Give it time to simmer, let the color show.

Dating someone new right after heartbreak is a great idea. However, be sure you take a little time off in between. You need some time to heal, to get back to full condition, some time for yourself, to take a breather, to reflect on how the last one went and how you want the future one to go. Eventually, you will need to take some time off to resolve past relationship issues, gain some closure. When you do feel sad or hurt because of your past romance, don’t take it out on your present partner. Instead, discuss it with him/her. Be open about how you’re feeling. Remember, it’s not them, it’s you.

All in all, falling in love immediately is a wonderful thing, but just be sure you set the pace for the relationship –where you don’t feel too rushed, and ensure it isn’t a rebound. So, go forth, survive the pain with a new, fresh beginning.

First Date: To Kiss Or Not To Kiss?

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Sun, 2 Sep 2012 10:32:00 +0800

First Date: To Kiss Or Not To Kiss?

If you are presently dating someone and new at this, be aware that first dates can be an exciting experience with many stroppy moments. If that first date is magical, then the big question will pop up at the end of the date. The question is to kiss or not to kiss? What do you think?

So, is it a great idea to kiss on the first date? Not the usual goodbye/goodnight smooch on the cheek, but a long passionate one. Well, the first date kiss, if it happens between two people who are really into each other and think that they may have found someone special can be a very thrilling experience and one that should not be taken too lightly.

But then again, there are times when the first date kiss is a bad idea when the other one is not comfortable with it and is forced upon, especially when the initiator is drunk. When that happened, that will be the last kiss for the rest of your life. Also, you should not kiss someone if you are not sure you want to see that person again.

Then again, if both of you find yourself very much attracted to each other, a kiss will just seems like a natural moment and it should happen naturally and there should not be any uncomfortable moments. However, it is best to keep the kiss light as if the kiss is too passionate, your date may think that you are doing this to your every other date even though it may not be true.

There is another reason for keeping the kiss light. It shows that you are in control of your emotion and respect your date. You will also leave your date wanting for more and to leave you the night with self-respect and dignity. This in turn shows that you have respect for your partner too and will be valued.

Remember, if your kiss is too eager, even if both of you like each other, it may lead to spending the night together in bed. Exciting as it might be, you probably have only known your date for only a few hours and already you are having sex. What will you think of her or him the morning after or vice versa? Will your partner think that you are cheap or you thinking of your date the same way?

Why take the risk of putting doubts in an unprepared relationship? If both of you truly like each other, the passionate magical kiss thereafter will come when you have more confidence in the relationship and are sure that you are meant for each other. Wouldn't that be nicer when you are finally kissing someone you know who have a special place in your heart and one who is willingly spending the night with you because of true love?

So the question is, should you or should you not kiss on the first date? Only you will have the answer to that. Happy kissing!

Bucking Bronco Sex Position: Controlling The Manuever

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:19:00 +0800

This is one of best sex positions: it is great if you like being on top and having most of the control during sex. It is almost similar to Octopus position but is much easier and less tiring to execute. To do bucking bronco position, your man needs to lie down on his back. You then need to get on top of him, facing him.

When he is inside you, lean backwards and put your arms behind you to keep yourself balanced. Then put your feet so that they are either side of your man’s head. The wider you spread your feet, the easier it will be to balance yourself.

Now you will be able to bounce up and down on your man, making it easy for you to switch reverse cowgirl position.

What Girl Does?

When you are doing this with your man, you will be doing the majority of the work, lifting yourself up and down on your man. This will quickly get tiring if your man is not helping you out. To take a break, try sitting right down on your man and rocking yourself backwards and forwards.

What Guy Does?

If your man is mostly lazy, then he doesn’t have to do anything. But if he is concerned in both of you having a good time, then he needs to be active too. Keeping his legs straight and together won’t allow him to thrust into you with much force. Instead, he should lift his knees and bend them a little bit, then plant them on the bed. This will allow him to get leverage and thrust harder. He can also turn his hips while remaining deep inside you.

Remember these things when performing this sex position:

If you find that your shoulders/arms quickly get tired, then try leaning back further and rest on your elbows instead. Just be careful as you will be putting extra strain on your man’s thingy.
Alternatively, try leaning further forward.
A third alternative is for your man to raise his knees up far enough so that you can comfortably lie back on them so you now longer have to use your arms to support yourself.
There is a good bit of room for you to move around in the bucking bronco position, so make sure to experiment a bit until you find an angle that you really enjoy.

The Torrid Triangle: Not The Ordinary Missionary Position

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Thu, 9 Aug 2012 16:55:00 +0800

This is a great position for women who like to maintain control over the session, giving your man an illusion that he is in control by being on top.

At first look, you might think this is just the same old missionary position with your man on top and you on the bottom. However, he is on his knees and you need to raise your hips, but he will not lie on top of you. Instead, the rest of your body has very little contact that is the twist! With you beneath him, ask him to get up on all fours. Then raise your pelvis up to meet his penis. Tell him he has to stay put as you start moving your fanny up and down to get frisky.

Why This Position Rock:

Don't be misled by being on the bottom — you are definitely the one calling all the shots here. By lifting your pelvis, you are in charge of the timing and speed of every single thrust so move according to your nasty impulses. What's more, as long as he obeys your stay-still orders, you also choose the depth of the penetration: the harder you push, the deeper he goes and the more you and your man moan. That is why the torrid triangle position is one of the best sex positions ever made!

Another tip is that you take a moment and enjoy your power trip; here is your chance to be teased mercilessly by pushing half way toward him. This assistance will focus all the sensations on the tip of your tool hypersensitive. Then, when least expects it, go ahead and get to the end of a race surprise pleasure.

Sexy Scissors Position: Rocking Your Way To Orgasmic Heights

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 14:40:00 +0800

The scissors sex position varies from the more common sleeping beauty position because you and your partner’s legs are intercrossed or “scissor-ed”. Although this does increase skin contact and allow for a more unique angle for penetration, it comes at the partial expense of comfort. A lot of people don’t like this position because they find it uncomfortable to position their legs without causing one of the partner’s impatience or pain, but it does have a solid following amongst those who can find the erogenous spot!

This allows for an exceptional angle for penetration, but it comes at the partial expense of comfort. Make a v-shape with your bodies and rock your way to orgasmic heights! To do the scissors sex position with your man, start by lying on your side with so that one leg is on the bed and your other leg is right on top of it.

Next raise your leg and bend it so that your man has easy access to your vagina. Your man is also going to be lying on his side. But he will be lying so that his head is close to your feet. He now needs to slip his lower leg underneath your lower leg right by your crotch.

Then he will put his upper leg over your lower leg and move his crotch towards you until he can penetrate you. So your lower leg will be between his legs. You will be lying on your side, facing away from your man and he will be facing towards your back. After he enters you, he just needs to start thrusting.

A Girl Must…

When you are in the scissors position with your man, you first need to get comfortable. As you will be lying on your man’s thigh it can feel a little awkward.

Once you are set up in position with your man, then all you need to do is ‘go with the flow’ of your man. In other words, gently thrust back onto your man as he is thrusting into you. You’ll find that you are using your entire body to thrust back into your man, both your arms and legs. You can grab hold of your man’s leg(s) to give yourself some leverage to thrust back onto him.

A Guy Must…

Your man also needs to make sure that he is comfortable in the scissors position. You will be resting part of your weight on his leg after all! Once he is comfortable, then he can just focus on thrusting in and out as you thrust back onto him.

He’ll be able to easily grab hold of your top leg to pull him in towards you as he is penetrating you.

There are also types of scissors sex positions:

The woman should lie on her back with her legs in a 90° angle. With the man at her side, she raises the leg nearest to him and rests it on his body, allowing him to enter from under her thigh. The man’s nearest leg should cross her body. This position is very intimate; the couple can hold one another and kiss.
Another type is for the woman to lie on her side, turning slightly on to her front and supporting her upper body with her arms on the bed. The man gets close into the back of her just as in the Spoons position, and then puts his upper leg over her hips as he penetrates her.

Orgasmic Tip: When you perform the scissors position in front of a wall, you can push back against it with your hands for stronger thrusting.

Keeping The Fiery Romance

noreply@blogger.com (Jannah) — Tue, 29 May 2012 16:08:00 +0800

Without a sense of security, a relationship will fall apart just as soon as it starts. Some says that if you do nothing wrong to your partner, then there is nothing for you to be afraid of. But, this might not always be true since couples may misinterpret the needs of security and assurance.

Remember that you partner is also an individual who have a different views of what he or she expects from you and vice versa. So, it will be easier for you to know how to deal with it. Below are some useful steps to keep your partner wrapped around you.

1. Avoid Pre-judgments

Time will come when you do not understand your partner. Do not jump into a conclusion by judging him or her. Keep calm, this kind of situation is normal. Avoid calling each other names to prevent destroying the established security. Instead, support your partner by recognizing his behavior. Encourage him to let it out on you, assuring him that you will not hold it against him.

2. Keeping An Open Mind

Think that people have different expectations with regards to their sense of security due to their past relationships and experiences. You may discuss these with your partner with an open heart and understanding mind. Be truthful to yourself and to your partner.

3. Build An Open Communication

You and your partner need to spend time learning how to determine, label and understand your feelings. Learn to get to know each other as much as you can. Patiently listen to him and understand his feelings, but do not be afraid to voice out your sentiments as well.

4. Let Your Partner Speak

Provide your partner a chance to express how he or she feels at a given moment, whether it be happiness, anger, worry or sadness. It is very important for you to know that you cannot dictate nor stop your partner's feelings when yours is not in tune with his or her. This will make him comfortable to be himself, with no pretensions, whenever he is with you.

5. Supporting Each Other Emotionally

The couple's ability to offer emotional support is the most important factor in establishing trust and security. Learn how to read your partner's emotions at given situation. Next, give him the support he needs. In that way, positive changes in your relationship will happen and trust is build and kept.