For the Love...

My Mary Laslie - free pattern

2012-01-04T08:11:00.000-05:00

My niece wore an Easter dress with a beautiful smocked yoke and I needed to come up with a sweater design that would not cover up all of that wonderful needle work. This is the result and it worked perfectly.

This is worked from the top down and is a 2T:

Materials: US 7 circulars (at least 32 inches long) and dpns, US 5 circulars and dpns. Two skeins and ½ of I Love This Cotton, or about 450 yards of Worsted weight. You will also need stitch markers and a darning needle.
Terms:
WS - wrong side
RS- right side
pm- place marker
m1r - make one right
m1l- make one left
kfb- knit in front and back
You will be have to "pick up and knit" twice and I find that crochet hook makes this much easier.

CO 44 sts

Row 1: (WS) p3 (front), pm, p6(sleeve) , pm, p26(back), pm, p6(sleeve), pm, p3(front)

Row 2: (RS) K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 3: purl

Row 4: K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 5: purl

Row 6: K1 K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 7: purl

Row 8: K1 K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 9: purl

Row 10: K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 11: purl

Row 12: K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 13: purl

Row 14: K1, m1r,( knit to one stitch before marker, kfb, slip maker, kfb)across to last st, m1l, k1 (increase of 10 sts)

Row 15: purl

Row 16: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 17: purl

Row 18: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 19: purl

Row 20: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 21: purl

Row 22: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 23: purl

Row 24: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 25: purl

Row 26: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 27: purl

Row 28: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 29: purl

Row 30: K to one st before marker, kfb, slip marker, kfb, knit to end

Row 31: purl

Row 32: knit to marker and remove it, put the next 36 sts (sleeve) on scrap yarn to be worked later, remove marker, CO 8 sts, knit across the back sts to the next marker, remove it and place the next 36 sts on scrap yarn, remove next marker, CO 8 and knit to end.

You will now work the remaining sts (front, underarm, back, underarm, front) until the it measures 5.5 inches when measured on the back from the cast on edge down, end with a wrong side row.

(This is the Band) Using your smaller circular needle knit 5 rows of seed stitch and bind off.

*This is where I like to use a crochet hook to help pick up sts.*

Turn the piece so that it is RS down with the cast off edge closest to you. With your larger needles, you will need to pick up and knit 175 sts across the seed stitch "band" that you just made. Do not pick up stitches in the cast off loops; use the bumps from the 4th and 5th rows of seed stitch. The bottom of this sweater is going to weigh much more than the top, picking up sts from those two rows added some stability to the piece.

Continue in stockinet stitch until the sweater measures 12 inches from the center of the cast on stitches down the back.

Switch to smaller needles and work 5 rows of seed st, BO.

Sleeves:

Using dpns

Move all of your stitches from your waste yarn to a single dpn.

Row 1: starting at the center of the underarm, in the stitches you cast on, pick up and knit 5 sts, then knit 10 sts from your dpn (the stitches you moved from the yarn), on a second needle knit 16 more stitches from the needle, on a 3rd knit the remaining 10 sts and then pick up and knit 5 more from the cast on area under the arm.

*I know that you only cast on 8, but I have found that if I don’t pick up and extra st on each side I end up with a hole…*

Row 2: knit

Row 3: k2tog, knit to last two sts and k2tog.

Continue knitting around until the sleeve measures 9 inches from the neck.

Switch to smaller needles and knit 5 rows of seed stitch and bind off.

Edging:

With smaller needles:

Starting at bottom right side, with right side facing you, pick up and knit evenly up the right front, around the neck, and then down the left side.

Row 1: seed st

Row 2: seed st

Row 3: continue in seed st until you get to the area that intersects with the band, bind off two stitches, knit to other side and repeat at the corresponding area. (making the "holes" to tie the ribbon through)

Row 4: Work in seed stitch, casting on two new stitches on both sides where you cast them off last round.

Row 5: Cast off.

Add As You Go Flowers...

2012-01-04T07:38:00.000-05:00

Originally "Add On Flower Border"

Sick of finishing the main project and weaving in ends, then creating each flower and weaving in their ends, then attaching them to your project and then weaving in those ends...me too.
I came up with a way to add the flowers as you go! They can be placed randomly all over a project or in a row to form a nice border. The best part is how easy it is to do!

*For this example I am going to assume that the last row and current row are dc (double crochet)-adjust as necessary for hdc and sc*

When you are ready to place a flower instead of making a dc in the next stitch you will ch 2 and ss to the top of the space.

Not here:

Here:

Put two sc in this spot and turn your work clockwise so that the dc post (that is directly to the left of the metal pointer in the above photo) becomes the top of your work, put three sc here.
Turn clockwise again so that the bottom of your work is now the top and work two sc, turn clockwise again and place three sc (the post of the dc that was to the right of the metal pointer), join with a ss to the first sc.

This gives you a "base" or ring to build your flower. At this point you can *ch2, 3 dc, ch2 and ss in next sc* around for a basic flower. This base should accommodate most flower designs.

When finished join with a ss.

At this point you need to work your way behind the flower by ss in the back of the first two sc that formed the base of your flower. This puts you in a position to continue the pattern before you interrupted it with the flower. In our dc example you would need to ch 2 and continue your dc into the next stitch.

****NOTE : you started the flower by ch 2 and ss and to rejoin your progress you ch 2- so you will have an extra stitch- on the next row - dc those two chains together.

Really easier than I made it sound ;)

Felted Clogs...

2011-12-07T13:51:00.000-05:00

These slippers were knitted using the Big Snuglet pattern. I needle felted the lotus flower design on "free hand". I discovered that when you do something like this trying to get the designs to match perfectly is absolutely insane.

Advent Calendar

2011-12-07T13:43:00.000-05:00

I came up with this pattern a few years ago for my Mom's birthday. Because this pattern is so portable it works up in no time! You can use any worsted weight yarn for this project…a perfect way to use up your ends.

I kept an F hook and a little worsted in my purse and thanks to the inordinately long wait at our Urgent Care center, public school and the Flu I was able to knock my calendar out in no time.

Click here to download it free from Ravelry

Hat Tip To Christmas Vacation...

2011-12-07T13:32:00.000-05:00

Christmas Top...

2011-12-05T07:12:00.000-05:00

Love the monogram! This is the shorter version of the Double Ruffle Knot Dress...

The Pillowcase Dress

2011-10-12T09:37:00.000-04:00

The Pattern/Tutorial trend is a wonderful thing because it is not just a set of measurements and pattern pieces. In most cases they provide extremely detailed step-by-step instructions - WITH PICTURES!

One rainy day I found The Betsy Dress on Etsy and within hours I was whipping out my own dresses!

Master the basic dress and then you can do just about anything....

I found this great applique design at Trendy Stitches , added a ruffle and people are just going crazy for this dress.

With a long sleeved T-shirt and a pair of leggings and these little dresses can be worn all year. Add a few inches to the length and it's a nightgown...the possibilities are limitless.

Double Ruffle Knot Dress

2011-10-11T08:54:00.000-04:00

LOVE this pattern from Little Lizard King! The only downside is that I can't "French Seam" my way through it...going to have to learn to use the serger.

*Just to be clear- a serger is not required for this pattern, it helps, but not required.

See ya soon!

2011-09-17T10:53:00.000-04:00

Discover this...

2008-12-15T08:06:00.006-05:00

On the Discover web page:

Discover Card: Brighter. See how you can spend smarter with Discover Card

I know the #1 way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get a card in someone else's name and go nuts! All of the fun and none of the responsibility...Discover can make this dream a reality for some of your skanky neighbors too!!!

I ruined it for my neighbors...the ready to use card was delivered to the person (ME) and not the street address(SKANK THIEF).

I called Discover...only to "Discover" that they should not be allowed to use the word "Brighter" anywhere on their web page.

To prove that I was the real slim shady and not the fake slim skanky I had to drive 20 minutes to the nearest large "department" store with a customer service department. In our case that would be a Lowes....after 30 minutes we finally convinced the geniuses at Discover that I was the one and only Reevesfarm.

Once my ID was confirmed the tenor of the conversation went from hostile to apathetic. I wanted information about who had done this and they didn't give a rip. Between repeatedly saying "I don't know" and stifling yawns the fraud dept. person suggested that I file a police report. It was a Sunday so I had the pleasure of doing so at the county Jail...fun.

Later that same day I called Discover's fraud department to see if I could garner any more information about the original application:

Me: So how was the did they apply for this card?

Discover: Uhhhh...it says here...Telemarketing...

Me: Well what does that mean?

Discover: Uhhhh...by phone I think.

Me: Uh, yeah...but did you call them or did they call you????

Discover: Uhhh...it doesn't say.

Me: Was that call at least recorded?

Discover: no

Me: How did you approve a $5000 credit card when the birth date, address, and phone number did not match the name and SSN?

Discover:...............

Me: No signature, no recording of the call, nothing and you gave them a $5000 card in my frickin name!

Discover:............

Me: Can you give me ANY information that was collected in the application that might be helpful?

Discover: No

At some point I talked to another Fraud Dept. person, she told me that if Discover does not lose money that they do nothing. After providing me with NO additional information she did say that she would be happy to talk to the local police Investigator handling my case. I got her extension so that the investigator could reach her directly...he left a message and she did not return his call...or had not a couple of days later. Thanks so much.

When the investigator told me that he could not get the people at Discover to return his calls I tried again. The investigator was finally able to speak to someone...only to find out that Discover could not even tell him if the caller/applicant was male or female.

The geniuses that applied used their real address and phone number...but there are 4 adults that have access to that phone...when Discover can not even narrow the applicant down to male or female it makes my chance of successful prosecution slim.

There is always going to be that scumbag who steals from hardworking people...but having a company like Discover behave in such a reckless and callous way is mind boggling. I should be able to file criminal charges against you for abetting the bad guys.

Good burps gone bad...

2008-12-12T06:12:00.002-05:00

So yesterday...right after lunch...two boys in MonkeyBoy's grade greeted each other by burping their names. The first boy got through his friends name with no problems...the second looked great through the first name and then he VOMITED ALL OVER THE FIRST BOY as he attempted to start his last name.

For lunch: chocolate milk, ham & cheese sammies, and raspberry sherbet....

Good times.

Magnuts the hawkeye...

2008-12-09T06:08:00.001-05:00

Making a pass through the Christmas section in our local Wal-Mart Magnuts spotted something amazing...

Do you see it?

That's right...the word "ASS" is clearly printed on the right side of this box....and every box we checked.

After a little investigation we are pretty sure that it was supposed to say "Celebrity Backstage Pass" not..."Celebrity Ass"

I laughed...I snorted...I may have even been wheezing a little by the end of it....

Meet Penelope...

2008-12-01T07:58:00.001-05:00

When Miss-D went to close her bedroom doors this morning before school she found her bird in this odd situation. Miss-D had left the little lid off the top of the bird seed container and Penelope squeezed her feathered butt right through the small circular opening in the top. She was either unwilling or unable to get out...I am leaning towards unwilling considering that she tried to bite Miss-D repeatedly as she tried to extricate the goofy bird.

Free at last...free at last...Great God Almighty I am free at last...

2008-11-23T08:13:00.011-05:00

So I finished painting and thought I would post some pics...

(Click on the pics to enlarge them)

By the back door:

Where we didn't eat for 2 weeks:

Kitchen:

China cabinet side of kitchen:

Den:

Still painting...

2008-11-18T08:32:00.001-05:00

But I have a few questions...

Do any of you have experience with the GigaBall?

It is 51 inches in diameter and is essentially a human hamster ball. It claims to be for indoor or outdoor use and is made of heavy duty plastic.

Just wondering if anyone has actual experience with these....

Also...

Have any of you ever used the "stretch" slip covers for sofas?

Did it keep its shape...did you have to curse a lot while putting it on?

If you own these products or know someone who does, please leave a comment to let me know what you think about them.

This is the job that never ends...

2008-11-13T07:32:00.002-05:00

It goes on and on my friends....

Still painting the kitchen...hope to finish in the next 7-10 days. My hands ache and my muscle are sore...but it sure looks good. I took "before pictures" and am taking them as I progress...can't wait to take "after pics."

In the mean time check out these frickin adorable "crocs" I made:

Painting and Pests...

2008-11-10T10:00:00.002-05:00

Painting a kitchen and all of the cabinets, cabinet doors and drawers is not #1.

Day 8...or yesterday, I was sitting on the floor, knee deep in cabinet doors, hardware and paint when I noticed blood dripping off my nose. As I am determining that the blood is coming from a tiny cut that I have no idea how I got the boys come banging in to the room arguing.

They have been driving each other, and me, nuts.

I get that having the kitchen turned upside down is stressful...FOR THE ADULTS. The only inconvenience the FlyMonkeys have dealt with would be the abundance of fast food they have been "forced" to eat because the kitchen is not functional. Or the Diet Sprites they have been allowed to drink because I could not get everything together to make juice.

At the beginning they helped empty all of the cabinets...but now I just really need them to stay out of the kitchen. So I let them play...there are a thousand things that they could be doing alone or together...things that would keep them quiet. Problem is that they are knuckleheads who choose, over and over again, to do things that end in conflict.

I decided that if they were going to argue they might as well do it while knocking out some chores. I told them to grab the clippers and get to work on the out-of-control bushes in front of the house.

One day I am going to give them directions and they are just going to go do it...no questions, no "what ifs" or "but I"'s......yesterday was not that day.

So after a 1/2 dozen questions I said:

"JUST GO CLIP OFF ALL OF THE REALLY TALL PIECES GROWING ON THE TOP! MAKE THEM ROUNDISH SQUARISH BUSHISH SHAPED! JUST GIVE THEM A HAIR CUT! CUT THEM LIKE ANIMALS...I DON'T CARE MAKE DISNEY CHARACTERS ALL THE WAY AROUND THE HOUSE...JUST GO DO IT AND BE QUIET..."

They walked very quietly to the door...and then I heard a snicker....

"DO NOT CUT THEM LIKE PENISES!"

Louder snickering....and they were gone.

The Plague

2008-11-07T07:55:00.001-05:00

MonkeyBoy missed all last week with Mono (for those of you keeping up...that makes 13 absences before Halloween). I was very happy to take all three of the FlyingMonkeys to school Monday....

I had purchased all of the supplies to finally finish painting my kitchen...I took a little 4 year break....

I began the process of moving everything out of the way. Removing the cabinet doors and all of the hardware...all of the drawers. Scrub EVERYTHING with very hot soapy water to ensure a clean work surface. All told the area that I am working on took three days of prep before I even started painting the primer.

So I was not so happy to discover, Tuesday morning, that Miss-D had two rashes. Her mouth was full of ulcers...it looked horrible and painful. Turns out the little red blister/bumps on her hands and the ulcers in her mouth were the result of Foot/Hand & Mouth Disease...a first for us. The little red rash on her torso was the result of the awesome case of Strep Throat she was sporting.

Antibiotics, steroids, Magic Mouthwash and she was a go for school on Thursday....as was my date with a giant can of primer.

I had finally managed to contort my round little body in such a way that I could paint primer inside an oddly cut corner cabinet when the phone rang.

It was the school...of course. The nurse was calling to let me know that MonkeyBoy looked terrible...spots on the roof of his mouth and a fever. So clad in my funky work clothes with paint in my hair I drove to the school to pick him up.

It occurred to me as we headed home that it was a frickin miracle that Magnuts was still well. In a 1 week period he had been exposed to Mono, Hand/Foot & Mouth, and Strep.

Guess who has a mouth full of painful ulcers this morning....

I just finished using my limited kitchen resources to make oatmeal for MonkeyBoy and Magnuts....

Y'all pray for us.

Better than Nicorette....

2008-11-06T06:08:00.001-05:00

So I started working on this dollhouse right after I quit smoking...something to do with my hands....

It took over my kitchen...and I loved building it.

Even staining the 800 little shingles....painting, sanding, re-painting...

And then one day I was done.

The kitchen was clean, the house was finished...

I had so much fun.

8th grade poetry....

2008-11-03T07:42:00.003-05:00

Once in a village in Japan
Lived a young woman named Woo-Chan
She felt like a fool
When she fell in the pool
And everyone saw she was a man

Thank you Miss-D...

Dear Lunch Lady,

2008-10-29T06:41:00.003-05:00

I am pleased to see that you have a sense of humor. Oh how you must have chuckled Friday as you added the 55 gallon drum of cherry pie filling to the serving line as the "fruit of the day."

Did you wet your pants just a little as you watched the the little kiddies vibrate their way back to class? I would have...it was a good one...I bet the teachers thought it was HILARIOUS!

The only thing funnier than allowing little kids to serve themselves all of the cherry pie filling they could mound on one tray is letting them do it twice!

Freezing the leftovers over the weekend and re-serving it Monday was genius.

Thanks again!

Laura

Not dead...

2008-10-09T06:47:00.002-04:00

I just need a break.

I may not be back until after the election. I allowed myself to come almost completely unglued about the bailout. I was so angry that I felt physically ill...if I am going to have a massive stroke I would rather it not be caused by a bunch of a-holes in Washington.

Some people listen to music when they clean...I have the news on. Well had. I just need to chill.

I have determined that not only am I a true conservative I am also a Political Hindu...not a fan of pork. I am frustrated with all of the political offerings...how about a candidate who runs on an "Common Sense, Personal Responsibility and Accountability" ticket.

Anyway...

Everyone is healthy and we are all pretty busy. I have just decided to take some time off...time to not think about how congressional term limits would solve a lot of our problems...time to enjoy football and the coming Holiday season.

Thanks again for all of your concern and feel free to email me...

HOT 102.7!!!

2008-09-19T06:46:00.002-04:00

The FlyingMonkeys seem to be trying for "high score" on our digital thermometer....

MonkeyBoy went back to school yesterday. He managed to last the entire day...meanwhile MissD was home with a temp of 103....

In other news....

Mrs. Ruth thank you so much for bringing by the kid's new favorite dessert. The FlyingMonkeys absolutely devoured it...they want more...I will need the recipe.

Thanks again...hopefully this plague will pass soon and I can get back to normal blogging...

We are gonna need a note from the doctor...

2008-09-17T07:10:00.006-04:00

It all started innocently enough last Monday. MonkeyBoy woke up with a fever and headache so I kept him home from school. He was home Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday complained of a headache so bad that it was making him nauseous.

So Thursday afternoon we went to the Urgent Care clinic. Lucky for us my cousin and the Dr. she works for were running the clinic that day. While we waited for some of the test results to come back the Motrin I had given MonkeyBoy hours earlier began to wear off. His fever and headache came back and he looked horrible. The Doc became very concerned when he came back in the room. The tests for Strep and Mono had come back negative and he didn't like the way MonkeyBoy looked.

The Doc made a few calls and determined that we should go to the ER. They felt that there were a few tests that needed to be done that could only take place at the hospital.

***Those of you who live in this city stop yelling at your computers. I know the hospital stinks...we only went for tests...tests that would be done with my supervision. Plus I had already called my Dad (a doc) and discussed this all with him. So stop clucking your tongue and shaking your head...

For those of you who have no idea what the above paragraph is about...our local hospital - Edge Memorial is nicknamed Edge of Death. People joke about only going there if they are dead...or so close to death that they are unable to protest. In the last few years they have changed management and have attempted improve their service. I can say that the nurses and techs were VERY good. The Doc, who for this story will be called - DrDingus, is a prime example of why it is important to cull your nuts.

DrDingus acted as though he had an ER filled to capacity instead of just a few patients. He appeared overwhelmed and seemed to be unable to focus on the task at hand. He came to our cubicle, did a physical exam, ordered a battery of tests and we did not see him again for hours...when all of the results were back. He said that based on MonkeyBoy's X-ray that he had acute bronchitis/pneumonia. I, of course, questioned this diagnosis. MonkeyBoy had been sick for a week...but in that week as he got worse he never coughed or had so much as a sniffle.

DrDingus did not care for my questions. Before he could leave I asked him about the headaches that were so severe that they were causing MonkeyBoy to be nauseous. He blew me off and would not even write MonkeyBoy a prescription for something for the nausea. I left with a prescription for antibiotics and a decongestant.

Later that night, or should I say early Friday morning, MonkeyBoy woke with a severe headache that caused him to vomit all over his bedroom floor. DrDingus is very fortunate that it was 1:30 am and I could not get my hands on him.

By Friday afternoon MonkeyBoy was even worse. His head was pounding and his legs hurt so badly he didn't want to walk. I ended up taking him to a new doctor. A really good pediatrician that my Cousin was able to get us in to see. The new doctor, who we will call DrAwesome, finally made me feel like things were going to be OK. He wanted to test for Flu before anything else was done...the Flu test was negative...

I have written and deleted this part 5 times. Each time I write it it just seems so dramatic and that just makes me feel silly...but being told that your child will need to be admitted to the ICU and that they will need a Lumbar Puncture is dramatic.

MonkeyBoy was admitted to the ICU Friday afternoon and was having a LP later that evening. Everything about his spinal fluid was fine...they were able to rule out bacterial meningitis. We were released late Saturday afternoon...

They are pretty sure that he has Viral Meningitis. We won't know for sure until the lab reports come back...and that could be a while. He is still staying home from school. He is tired and still has headaches and leg pain. I think the worst of this is over...he no longer has fever and he says that the headaches are not nearly as bad.

So we wait.

BTW-when MonkeyBoy was released from the hospital they told me that the X-Rays were clean-unremarkable....yes...those would be the X-Rays taken in the ER. DrDingus indeed.

Also...after all of this I failed to get a single note from any doctor to make sure this is an excused absence....

AWAH?

2008-09-05T09:00:00.001-04:00

I will have to give Magnuts homework more than a cursory glance in the future...especially his English.

Yesterday's assignment started like this:

"There once was an evil jar of peanut butter that escaped from the cabinet...his name was Hugh Jass..."

***

Yes Mom, that would make it a Hugh Jass jar of peanut butter...