If you’re already a forum member, you can head over there to get started right now.

If you’re not a member, you can join here: Adoption Forums

One winner will receive:

1. A copy of 97 Ways To Make A Baby Laugh.

AND *drum roll please*

2. An adoption profile review by our own Lori (Best Light) of  Best Light Adoption Profile Review. She’ll look at your profile through three lenses: its visual appeal, its tone, and its distinctiveness, and give you a 30 minute telephone consultation (value $100) with her findings and suggestions.

Good luck!!

All families change over time. Sometimes a baby is born, or a grown-up gets married. And sometimes a child gets placed in foster care. Children need to know that when this happens, it’s not their fault. When a child gets adopted they need to understand that they can remember and value their birth family and love their new family, too. Straightforward words and full-color illustrations offer hope and support for children facing or experiencing change. This title includes resources (more…)

“Years ago I was in a serious relationship with someone who, for political reasons, felt very strongly that he would never want to bring a child into this world when there were already so many children who needed families. I really thought I might marry this man, but I had always thought I would have children the “old-fashioned” way. In the end, our relationship didn’t survive (not because of this issue), but not before I had reached the conclusion that I could happily adopt a child someday.

My husband and I did not do anything to prevent pregnancy, but when it didn’t happen on its own, we moved directly to adoption, without pursuing any types of infertility treatment. We knew right away that our goal was to become parents – not pregnant – and adoption was an easy decision with that in mind.”

“I am a single parent. But even as a child, I was drawn to the idea of adoption. As soon as I began thinking of having a family, I always thought of adoption. I might have earlier thought of blending birth children and adopted children when I still thought I might marry.”

“I’ve always thought of adopting, but when I got married it wasn’t the first idea that came to mind in terms of forming our family. Then I gave birth to two kids, and that was wonderful. However, I’ve always thought three was the perfect number of children (maybe because there are three siblings in my family), and my husband and I had always agreed that it would be hard to justify bringing more than two kids into the world when it is already overpopulated, and considering that there are plenty of kids already out there without families. So when we decided not to have any more children by birth, we told ourselves that it didn’t mean “no more children at all.” And then, eventually, we decided to talk seriously about adoption, and one thing led to another…and here we are, expectant adopting parents of a four year old girl!

Another factor is knowing quite a few people in my immediate circle who have adopted–and adopted in a variety of configurations and ways (lesbian couple doing domestic adoption, single parent adopting internationally, hetero couple adopting internationally, “biracial” family doing transracial domestic adoption…) So we have had lots of vicarious experience to reinforce our initial inclination toward adoption.

I was also privileged to share closely in another person’s international adoption experience when I accompanied them overseas as a “support person” for the adoption. It was amazing to witness and be part of that process, even from the sidelines. I felt very strongly as I watched: “wow, giving birth was amazing, and this is also amazing, and I wish I could do this, too.” I feel extremely lucky because it seems I am going to have my wish.”

“As a child, my “fantasy” was not being a wife and mother, but being a mother with marriage as an afterthought. As I became a teenager I was made aware of different types of “orphans”…and began to solidify that I wanted to adopt when older no matter if I was single or married.

I was in a couple of relationships in my 20s and these guys didn’t want to adopt so I figured I would marry and have children like most people do. When these relationships didn’t end up in marriage I focused on eliminating my student loan debt and buying a home. When I completed that, I came to the realization that there is no perfect time to have children and that I could provide for a child, so adoption was an easy decision after that.

Now I’m just in the middle and although waiting is tough, I haven’t regretted my decision to date.”

“I always wanted to be a Father. From about the age of 12 I remembered telling people I was going to adopt and they laughed at me saying I will “want my own” child(ren) when I am old enough to know. Years have passed and I still want to adopt. My wife was on board for it as well. We know that fertility would be an issue for us and would require medical intervention if it was at all possible but we haven’t even bothered to try because we both agree that adoption is the only option for our family. People ask if we feel like we are missing out and we can genuinely say we don’t. The only time we think of having biological children is when we are sick of the wait but we know just because someone gets pregnant unfortunately does not equal a baby after the 9 months of waiting. I had a friend whose wife carried a baby full term when she delivered the baby was stillborn we were all devastated.
With that said we know adoption is our first and only real option.”

“When my second husband and I did not get pregnant (likely due to my age, he’s 10 yrs younger), we did not hesitate to call an adoption agency and get the ball rolling. There was no need for infertility clinics (and my doctor still felt at my age that it was a consideration). Adoption was never a “second choice” for our family. As an interracial couple, we knew there would be doors open for us and there certainly were as we went on to adopt 4 children. Although I had parented previously, my husband had not. But he says that with all of his heart, there is no way he ever looks back and wishes we could have had a biological child. Our 4 children are ours in every way possible and we are so very blessed!”

Continue on to Adoption As A First Option (pt.2)

“Maybe not exactly what your asking, but my dh and I each had bio children from previous relationships. We never even discussed trying for babies with each other, and actually took measures against it. For some reason, both of us felt drawn to adopt older kids for “our” kids.”

“We did not try to conceive before we adopted, (or ever). Our oldest son was our foster son, and we were called right after his adoption was finalized to see if we were interested in putting in our home study for our youngest. We weren’t even looking to adopt either time, we’ve just been absolutely blessed!”

“I felt very early on, in childhood, that I wanted to adopt. When my husband and I met and dated, we knew before we ever married that adoption would be more important for us than giving birth. We were both of the opinion that the earth certainly had enough inhabitants already; and there were many babies/children who needed parents.

After being married for a couple of years, we had a ’scare’ of thinking we were pregnant (totally unplanned). It turned out that I wasn’t, but it brought our minds into thinking of having children within the coming years (rather than waiting longer); and before we’d ever have an unplanned pregnancy again, we started the paperwork for genetic testing. (We felt passing on possible traits within our family tree was very unfair, and we wanted to know the odds of doing so.) It was also a way to make us feel more committed to adoption and having the justification to prove it, if necessary.

We filled out endless papers for the testing; were given an appointment; but before we could attend that appointment, we were sent orders to move overseas and we canceled the appointment. Once we received orders, we felt this was the best time to try to adopt, and made this clear to friends and relatives before we moved to Japan.

Once there, we soon saw the only adoption agency on the island (Okinawa) and were told they would start our homestudy, but needed to wait a couple of more months to be officially married for three years. (Requirement of the agency). Not only did we have the endless questions and papers to fill out; but we also had to hold an appointment with an MD to ‘justify’ our reasons to adopt, rather than give birth!!!! We had to actually ask the MD what were the chances of passing on genes we felt were inferior…and this, we did. He told us that even though we didn’t have these actual diseases, the chances were actually 50/50.
We were thrilled to have this comment, had him write this on the paperwork supplied by the agency, and were finally allowed to submit our homestudy to Korea.

On more than one occasion, we’ve been required and asked to explain our ‘wanting to adopt, rather than give birth’ to an agency. We’ve always felt this was ridiculously rude and insensitive that we should have to ‘justify’ our desire to NOT want to further populate the earth and/or pass on genetic traits we felt were unfair to pass on to future generations!!

To be sure we wouldn’t ‘birth’, we made provisions to ‘guarantee’ this. After our second child (baby) was adopted, we sought out the military to perform (sterilization). The Air Force refused, stating that they felt we were too young to decide this. However, during a ‘leave’ to the USA, dh’s childhood general physician agreed to perform the procedure and it was done.

The only time I have ever felt giving birth would have been more beneficial, was when I became totally frustrated with the waiting process…realizing that getting pregnant is usually much faster—-AND easier! (BTW….dh has NEVER felt giving birth would have been better!)

That’s our story of adoption being our first choice in a nutshell. It’s been over 26yrs that we made that choice and we’ve not regretted it.”

If you have also chosen adoption as your first option, please tell us about it in the comment section.

We’re having a new contest in the adoption forums! It’s been a while since we had one (I think the last one was here at the blog) so I decided it was time.

If you’re already a member, you can head over there to read about it. If you’re not a member, you can join here:
Adoption Forums

Good luck!!

Family connections are vitally important to children as they begin to find their place in the world. For transracial and transcultural adoptees, domestic adoptees, and for children in foster care or kinship placements, celebrating the differences within their families as well as the similarities that connect them, is the foundation for belonging. As parents we can strengthen our children’s tie to family and embrace the differences that make them unique. (more…)

Actual customer reviews:

“I Don’t Have Your Eyes” helps kids go beyond ” blood” and “genes” as the only important ties between family members. Instead, Carrie gently points out, even more important, shared strengths and similarities. Congratulations to Ms. Kitze for carefully considering the needs of the adoption community as she publishes her ‘adoption and empowerment- themed’ books.”

“I find this book to be very inspiring. I wish I had A book like this when I was a child. As an adult adoptee, I feel this book touches upon the most important connections we need to make with our children.”

The answer should be obvious: a safe, permanent and loving family. Unfortunately, the U.S. government and many aide organizations do not seem to agree. In fact, the U.S. sometimes spends millions of dollars, ensuring just the opposite. And while beloved organizations such as UNICEF keep millions of children alive, many believe it is better for children to live in temporary foster care than in a permanent family.

The children of our world need your help to make a change. They need your help to live in a permanent family. As a founding member of the Families For Orphans Coalition, Joint Council is proud to announce that the first step in making this much-needed change is upon us. In a bi-partisan effort, landmark legislation was introduced into Congress, which will ensure that U.S. government programs, policies and funding are directed towards a singular goal: a permanent family for every child.

The Families For Orphans Act (Senate Bill 1458 and House Bill 3070), sponsored by Senators Mary Landrieu (D-LA) and James Inhofe (R-OK) along with Representatives Diana Watson (D-CA) and John Boozman (R-AR) demonstrates our collective commitment to the millions of children living outside of permanent parental care and proactively address a global gap in the most basic of human rights – the right to a permanent family.

While the introduction of the legislation is an important first step, there is much more to be done. Now we must ensure that the Families For Orphans Act becomes the law of the United States. To do this, your voice is needed. Speak for those to cannot speak for themselves by supporting the Families For Orphans Act and joining our Call To Action.

What can you do?

Sign the Families For Orphans petition, make three simple phone calls, and get the word out! Here are the details…

1. Sign our Petition!
Sign the Joint Council Families for Orphans Petition
The Petition will be delivered to the U.S. Congress

2. Call Congress!
On July 28th, 29th, and 30th, call your three Members of Congress (two in the Senate and one in the House of Representatives).
You can find your Representative at http://www.house.gov/
You can find you Senators’ at http://www.senate.gov/
Ask to speak with the Legislative Director or Chief of Staff
For maximum effect, we are asking you to make these calls within this 72-hour window!

3. Get the word out!
Send this email to friends and family. Post to your Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, blog or website

What should you say or write to your Members of Congress?
This is an issue that is critical to children in need, so speak from your heart. Tell them why ensuring more children living in families is so important to you! Ask your Senators and Representatives to become a Co-Sponsor of the Families for Orphans Act. Please feel free to use the following text as a guideline when speaking with your Members of Congress.

“As a constituent of we are requesting that you support the Families For Orphans Act by becoming a Co-Sponsor of the legislation. For information on becoming a Co-Sponsor, please contact Senator Mary Landrieu, Senator James Inhofe, Representative Diane Watson or Representative John Boozman. Thank you for representing your constituents by becoming a Co-Sponsor of the Families For Orphans Act (Senate Bill 1458 and House Bill 3070).”

More Information
For detailed information on the Families For Orphans Act visit:
The Joint Council website (http://www.jcics.org)

This blog has lots of information for parents who’ve adopted and those who are starting the process. Take a look at the “Posts Of Interest” in the right sidebar or you can use the tags in the left sidebar.

If you’re interested in joining our private adoption support forum, please scroll down to the next post.

Thanks!!

PS: If you’re the Marion County or the surrounding area and are looking to join an adoption support group, leave a comment here and I’ll put you in touch with the person running it.

It’s important for those of us who adopted our children to interact (online or off) with others who understand and can empathize with us. Equally as important is for pre-adoptive parents to have a safe place to ask questions or vent. You are not alone.

The adoption forums at Forever Parents are private and there is a process to joining. The process is not hard or time consuming but it’s in place to help us determine if someone has ill intentions and wants to join for the wrong reasons. The privacy and comfortability of our members is our priority.

Another way that we help maintain a safe and caring environment is to require that all members participate. No, that doesn’t mean you have to post every day, it just means that you have to show an interest in our community and participate on a regular basis. This is especially important for new members that we haven’t gotten to know yet. Inactive members will be periodically removed.

Interested in joining?

1. Go to our adoption forums and click the link that says “register” in the upper left corner. We will have to approve your account before it can be activated.
2. Once your account has been approved, please post a little about your connection to adoption, in this forum. Your first post will have to be approved before it will be visible.
3. When your post has been approved, it will be moved into the rest of the forums (they’re private and can’t be seen) and you will be given full access.

If you have any problems with completing any of these steps, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment in this blog post.

Thanks and see you in the forums!

Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, a signature program of the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, began in April 2004 with 7 pilot sites and has grown to 120 grantees, operating in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Canada. The Foundation awards grants to local adoption agencies to hire recruiters and execute aggressive child-focused recruitment programs targeted exclusively on placed foster care children in loving, permanent adoptive families.

“We work very hard to raise funds in partnership with Wendy’s restaurants, distribute them effectively and hold our grantees accountable to achieve our mission of a family for every child,” said the Foundation’s executive director, Rita Soronen. “The investment in our Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program has resulted in the creation of an effective, replicable model to find families for the victims of child abuse and neglect who have been waiting the longest in U.S. foster care. To date, more than 1,000 children have been adopted as a result of the program.”

Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption is a nonprofit public charity dedicated to dramatically increasing the adoptions of the more than 150,000 children waiting in North America’s foster care systems. Created in 1992 by Wendy’s founder, Dave Thomas, who was adopted as a child, the Foundation works to fulfill its mission by implementing result-driven national signature programs, awareness initiatives and advocacy efforts. The Foundation is driven by the vision that every child needs a permanent home and a loving family. To learn more, call 1-800-ASK-DTFA or visit www.DaveThomasFoundationforAdoption.org.