After considerable thought, prayer, conversation, excitement and anxiety my wife and I decided to leave the south London church we were leading and head towards Pakistan. The spark which ignited the idea in the first place was a rejection by other leaders of a particular initiative which I thought essential and they did not. Anyway, all things considered it was time to go. Our last Sunday in the church was memorable. We said farewell at three meetings and one of them was the Sunday School. With 120 children and many teachers present we were called out to be prayed for. As people were praying one of the teachers started to cry, and within a few seconds tears began to roll down my face. Before long many of the children were crying. Questions flooded into my head. Was I betraying these children? How could I leave and make children cry? What sort of Pastor was I to so upset children? To me this was a demonstration of how these people and crying children were going to miss me. At the end of Sunday School my wife and I took two sisters home in our car. The sisters were about seven years old. As they got into the back seat they started to cry some more. Before we pulled away and with my guilt increasing, I turned around and asked them if they were going to be alright. Quietly they said yes. Then through her tears one of them shattered my image of what was going on when she blurted out, ‘Pastor… My rabbit’s dead’ and through more tears her sister said, ‘now we can get a dog’ and more tears rolled down their faces. A little stunned I turned back and looked through the front windscreen. I thought they were crying about my departure and the chasm that was going to open up in their lives once I had moved on. It was not so. They had felt the emotion in the Sunday School and filled it with their own meaning. Sadly, it was not about me but about rabbits, dogs and whatever else was popping into children’s minds when they saw grown people blubbering in public.

You often don’t know what is going on in yourself or others. Working out what God is doing can be even more difficult.

This can be the nature of leadership transitions. You often don’t know what is going on in yourself or others. Working out what God is doing can be even more difficult. It is also problematic to read the events and changing landscapes of our lives while seeking to work out what they mean. This is that which makes transitions so tricky.

To what do we need to pay attention as we go through these times of leadership transition? I want to articulate two critical Biblical themes; engage two scripture passages and draw two conclusions that should help and bring perspective.

Theme One: Living the Story

Every church and every leader has a story. How fruitful that church and leader becomes connects to how well their story relates to the story of God. Scripture marks out that story moving us from Genesis to Revelation or from Creation to a new heaven and earth. Creation, fall, Israel, incarnation, redemption, ascension, Church and future hope outlines the overwhelming and mighty themes of scripture. The more our churches and leaders are rooted in each part of that Biblical story the more fully alive they will be and the more glory God will have. Irenaus taught us this. For in the end the only thing that matters is The Trinity and The Kingdom of God. The story of Father, Son and Holy Spirit and what God is doing in the world through establishing the kingdom is told in the story of scripture.   If we neglect part of that huge narrative and become selective in the areas we think are preferable a price will have to be paid sooner or later. In other words, if we do not take scripture seriously both in developing church culture and our own lives as leaders we will be bamboozled in ministry and particularly in times of ministry transition.

…if we do not take scripture seriously both in developing church culture and our own lives as leaders we will be bamboozled in ministry and particularly in times of ministry transition.

Let me illustrate. If you, as a leader, neglect the story of the Fall and therefore miss the nature of your own sinful rebellious heart, it becomes very difficult to access reality. Accessing reality is a critical responsibility for a leader. If the story of the Fall is neglected or underplayed you can easily misread yourself. Having done that, it is then much more difficult to discern what is happening around you. Skimming over the story of the Fall will lead you to becoming the victim to your own eccentric biases because you will not have been able to track the true nature of your own heart. It is the Holy Spirit who gives us awareness of our broken lives in a broken world, granting us the humility to enter into glorious acts of refreshing repentance. When we repent and submit ourselves to God and what He is doing in the world our judgement and discernment return or at least has the chance to.

On the other hand, if you miss the future hope ahead and fail to anticipate what Miroslav Volf calls our ‘eschatological maximum,’ another price is to be paid. The world becomes small and you fail to make decisions in the light of the huge future intentions of God. It is only in the light of an anticipation of a new heaven and new earth that we can come to an understanding of what has happened in our lives and what is happening as we pass through times of transition. Leaders stumble when they do not have this future hope setting their hearts on fire when developing strategies and forging church cultures. Another cost of underplaying this part of the story is loss of patience. If you are leading without a rich anticipation of the future of God it is much more difficult to delay the gratifications of success which leadership often offers. Misread the future and misunderstand the present.

To flourish through times of transition we need to live the story of God and not just particular parts of the story we prefer.

To flourish through times of transition we need to live the story of God and not just particular parts of the story we prefer. All the lenses of the story need to be lined up adequately so we can see as clearly as possible the place where we find ourselves, the transition we are in and what could be the way forward in the future.

Theme Two: Permanent Transition

Walter Bruggemann explains how the Psalms work and in doing so explains how life and spiritual leadership works. He puts everything in a context of transition. He identifies three movements through which we all move.¹ He divides the Psalms up into three divisions; Psalms of orientation, Psalms of disorientation and Psalms of new orientation. David G. Firth² picking up on Brueggemann renames these divisions as Psalms of the ordered world, the disordered world and reordered world. All the Psalms are intended to be prayed as we go through these various stages of life. Ordered is when life is where we want it to be. Disordered usually describes what happens soon after we think it is ordered. Reordered is when through God’s work and word a fresh position is established and we feel ordered again.

The idea is permanent transition both in our conversation with God and in how we engage with life in the everyday.

We are on a continual journey through order, disorder and reorder even if we never move home or church.

This is how leadership in general, and spiritual leadership in particular, work. We think all is under control and we are doing well. Then some wave hits us and the ship begins to roll, challenging the course we have set. Then as Captain we take corrective measures and equilibrium is established until another wave hits or the weather system changes bringing a new set of issues and decisions. I don’t think there is another alternative to this model when it comes to spiritual leadership or maybe any type of leadership. This is the way it will be because we are forever engaging particular persons, fresh conditions and our own complex lives as we seek to lead people forward. We are on a continual journey through order, disorder and reorder even if we never move home or church. The only issue is the intensity of the shifting sea and the particular weather system we are living through at the time. ³

Realising that we are in a place of permanent change is critical in doing well in specific leadership transitions. Perhaps the illusion is to imagine that we are ever in a safe place of orientation, order and stability where nothing alters when in fact the world is swirling around us all of the time and we are in continual change. The time of transition from one church responsibility to another is just a change in the nature of the transition we face continually. Ralph D. Stacey explains, ‘continuing movement towards equilibrium is a failure; success requires the maintenance of a position away from equilibrium.⁴’ Perhaps he has read the Psalms. The truth is that everything is in transition all of the time be it at glacial pace or tsunami thunder. It is going to be challenging to adapt to transitions and change unless we work with these categories of order, disorder and reorder in one form or another throughout the whole of our lives. The Psalms are key texts for leaders in transition because they are the praises, prayers and complaints of leaders who have gone through it before us.

Story One: Jesus at Nazareth

Transition was intended in Nazareth. The shifting relationship between the leader and the led – or in Nazareth’s case the not to be led – is starkly explained in Mark 6: 1-6. This is how I see the story. Jesus and the disciples arrived in Nazareth which was his home town. Before long the relational and organisational distance between Jesus and the people of Nazareth became apparent. Things had clearly changed. This was not only home town for Jesus it was also small town because Nazareth would not face the big world Jesus was opening before their eyes. It seemed that the people of Nazareth could not adjust to what they saw in front of them. Jesus was the boy to them but now he was returning as the man, or even worse a leader. It appears his transformation had outstripped their ability to adapt to what he now was. Jesus even had a following of disciples and assistants. Home town Nazareth appeared struggled with this. You can hear the relational gears grinding and jamming together as Nazareth tried to work out what was in front of them and who this Jesus was now.

Nazareth failed to navigate the transition in a healthy way. They preferred their unbelief. It seems like it was all too much for them to grasp. Many were amazed at Jesus teaching but others – or the same people – took offence at him. It is as though they were paralysed in the middle of the road as the twin headlights of his wisdom and miracles bore down on them. They asked the questions, ‘Isn’t this the carpenter? Isn’t this Mary’s son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?’ (Mark 6:3). It could also be that they just decided to be offended, therefore gifting themselves a way out of dealing with the stunning realities of what was happening through Jesus. If he was what his life demonstrated then the people of Nazareth had deep challenges to face and new thoughts to think. The implications were immense.

We have in Nazareth a community that could not cope with the transition of a boy becoming a man and a follower becoming a leader.

How did they resolve this internal conflict they endured? Who can know their exact motivations of the people of Nazareth? Yet, boxing Jesus up seemed to be the solution. It appears that they needed to put Jesus into a box so they could manage him. They were not aware that the box was ridiculously small and was destined to be shattered by the resurrection. We have in Nazareth a community that could not cope with the transition of a boy becoming a man and a follower becoming a leader. The people of Nazareth had congealed into their final selves and little could be done. Nazareth refused to be mentored by the one they nurtured. It seems that they could not cope with a prophet who to them was a little boy. Their inability to change amazed Jesus and rather than it being described as an adjustment problem or some other minor weakness, he described it in much more challenging language as a ‘lack of faith’ (Mark 6:6).

Story Two: Peter and Cornelius

In contrast to the people of Nazareth are Peter and Cornelius. Their story of transition is explained in Acts 10. Cornelius was a centurion in the Italian Regiment. He was devout, God-fearing and generous. He lived in Caesarea, the Roman capital over Judea. He would have been leading up to 600 men in his Roman cohort who were probably archers. Cornelius would have worked his way up through the ranks being a non-commissioned officer.⁵ He was helpful to the poor and had healthy prayer habits. Yet, he was a non-Jew leading an army of occupation. He may well have been sympathetic to Judaism, but he was not a follower of Christ until a meeting happened in his house. Cornelius prayed at three o’clock in the afternoon and had a vision of an angel. The messenger spoke Cornelius’s name and filled him with fear while telling him to go and get Simon Peter. Cornelius sent three of his men to complete the task.

Ministry transitions do not come with much greater intensity than the one God offered Peter through his roof top vision and the obedient response of Cornelius. We know Peter well. Here is the courageous walk-on-water Apostle. He was a devout Jew and now leader in the emerging church. God had used him wonderfully, particularly after the resurrection and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. He was in the beautiful place of Joppa, which is now Jaffa, part of coastal Tel Aviv. He went up onto his roof to pray. In prayer he had a trance and a vision was given to him. For a Jew this would have been a horrific vision. On a sheet lowered down from heaven came four-footed animals, reptiles and birds. Then a voice said, “Get up Peter, kill and eat”. He replied, “Surely not Lord”! Peter received this vision three times. This is not the first time Peter has had to hear something three times.

While Peter was hesitating, doing his ‘wondering’ and ‘thinking’ he found that God has provided some leverage that gave Peter momentum. A Roman soldier and his servants were outside his house just as the Spirit had said. Peter was now in significant transition. His visionary trance was changing into concrete reality. This experience was now very real and standing in front of him in the shape of three men calling out his name. The centurion’s messengers wanted Peter to come and speak to them at Cornelius’s house in Caesarea. Peter’s world was being inverted and transformed yet he responded positively to this request.

Up to this point [Paul] was a religious sectarian but now he had the radical challenges of spectacular transition pressing against his nose.

Peter went through his normal prayer routine and his ethnical-theological world was shattered in this place of prayer. He was a Jew and was restricted in what he could eat.⁶ In his vision were clean and unclean animals and it scandalised him. Yet, this was also a staggering vision of future Jew and Gentile relationships to be expressed in the future church. Peter was being introduced to the unthinkable because of the new thing God was doing through Cornelius. This was not only Peter receiving fresh vision it was a picture of the future shape of the worldwide church. Peter said, “it is against our law for a Jew to associate with Gentiles or even visit them” (10:28) but that is precisely what he was doing. Up to this point the Apostle was a religious sectarian but now he had the radical challenges of spectacular transition pressing against his nose. God had just shown him that no race is better than another. Nothing was ever going to be the same again for Peter or for the church.

Cornelius and Peter were both on a journey towards each other, a journey that Peter would find very difficult. But it is Peter’s ability to be shaped by Cornelius that helps change him and in the end changes the world. If Peter had not made that transition the gospel could have been locked up for years in some sectarian scheme and never breaking out into the Gentile world.

What can we take from these two themes and passages when it comes to ministry transitions? What should shape our imaginations from these themes and passages? I want to focus on two areas.

Becoming accomplished in living out of control

I have always enjoyed my times of ministry transition. They have always been fresh places of thought and release but this is not so for many. Each of us has to find the grace, imagination, revelation and practice to find our own way through.

As Christian ministers and leaders we are not living our own story.

One of the reasons why ministry transitions can be so challenging is because we feel vulnerable and out of control for as long as they last. The time of transition is the time of disconnection where everything is being shifted from one place to another. This is the theme of living out of control is summed up by the ever quotable, Stanley Hauerwas who writes, ‘Learning to live out of control, learning to live without trying to force contingency into conformity because of our desperate need for security, I take as a resource for discovering alternatives that would otherwise not be present.’⁷ Eugene H. Peterson expresses much the same thing in his writing.⁸ If we are able to let go of the controls of our lives who knows what blessings may come our way that we would not otherwise have noticed if we had kept control. As Christian ministers and leaders we are not living our own story. We cannot live as if we are the sole producers of our own lives. Rather, living out of control, yet rooted in the middle of the story of God opens up our imaginations to all the possibilities offered in times of transition. We cannot control the various events and seasons which come to us as we move through order, disorder and reorder. What we can control is our response to them.

Peter was able to live out of control but the people of Nazareth were not. It was as Peter responded to his vision that revelation happened. Significant breakthrough took place in his imagination and world view as he responded to the vision when he merged back into the material reality of Joppa after his trance. Peter explained later that, through his vision, inaccurate and inappropriate judgements were challenged, “God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean” (9:28) and his parochial local world became global, “God does not show favouritism but accepts those from every nation who fear him and do right” (9:35). This only came to him as he was willing to go with the startling vision of what God was calling him to do and live out of control. Yet, it is remarkable how many Christian leaders, called to follow Jesus wherever he leads, can be so controlling when the process of transition takes place. My guess is that fear quietly injects itself into our hearts and solidifies in our heads so we can’t think straight.

Here is a challenge for this is where we are called to be exemplars. How can we call people to a life of faith and risk if we cannot be schooled in learning to live out of control, which is a prerequisite of the life of faith? It is so easy to be seduced by our own expectations of the institution or denomination for which we work and imagine that it must carry us or always find a place for us. For some it is as though there is a debt to be paid to us by our institution or denomination. We feel we are owed even though these same organisations have given us a place to live out our calling. With this sense of being owed worming around our heads we trust the institution to deliver rather than the God in whom we trust. Never confuse the Church of England with the Holy Trinity, the two are not identical. Fifteen years ago I took a sabbatical from a group I was working with. While I was considering the move one of the leaders said to me, ‘don’t do it, you will lose your powerbase if you go’. I took this as another confirmation that it was time to take the sabbatical. Grasping and clinging on to institutional power will make transitions particularly difficult. To flourish through transition we need to learn to let go. Peter could do this. Nazareth could not.

Walking through transition with others

We are being shaped and mentored in one way or another. All of our assumptions around how life works and our understanding of common sense demonstrate the influence of culture, family and relationships. We are being formed through our choices and what they come to mean for us. Right at the heart of this formation is the company we have kept and now keep. ‘Do not be deceived’ says Paul, ‘God cannot be mocked. People reap what they sow.’⁹ Our ability to cope with times of transition will be related to the company we have kept before the transition takes place. Who have been the people who have shaped our hearts and minds?

For Pastors and church leaders times of transition are intensely related to people. The work of being a Pastor or Shepherd means that times of departure and transition are full of emotional, spiritual and psychological fissures. There are high expectations emotionally, spiritually and psychologically when re-engaging with the next group of people we are called to lead. Moving on in ministry is to do with pastoral responsibility being handed over to someone else and picking up a new set of responsibilities from another once the time of transition has ended.¹⁰

Without community to teach us who we are we are lost in a desert of introspection and guess work.

Right at the core of ministry transition is mentoring. What ideas have mentored me? What desires mentor me? Who is mentoring me through this transition process? Who am I mentoring? Where am I rooted in my head and heart as the transition takes place? We cannot know ourselves alone. Without community to teach us who we are we are lost in a desert of introspection and guess work. Walking through ministry transition with others is vital to doing it well. I want to identify three areas of mentoring which will help as we navigate ministry transition.

Mentored by God

Jim Houston explains what a Christian is through stating, ‘Becoming a Christian is a demolition of one’s identity from the ruins of self- enclosure as being individualistic – literally ‘in-human’ – whereas to be human is to be a social being. Instead, one becomes more ‘open,’ not only to other people, but also to become radically reconstituted as a ‘person-in-Christ.’¹¹ Becoming a Christian is to do with the shift from just being self-defined, self-focused and individual to becoming a ‘person’ who becomes who they are because of their communion with God and their community with other people.

Understanding ourselves as a ‘person’ in this sense is central to ministry and leadership transitions and to great spiritual leadership. This is at the core of what God is doing in our lives and is our deepest need. Kierkegaard taught us that a human being’s highest achievement is to let God be able to help him (or her). In one sentence he resets the cultural clock of the western world and explains to us what human success looks like. Success is being mentored by God in relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Reading scripture not only for information but for formation shapes the way in which we respond to God, the world and ourselves.

Therefore, right at the heart of leadership transitions are the practices and disciplines of the faith and in particular prayer. Scripture is also central to the process. Reading scripture not only for information but for formation shapes the way in which we respond to God, the world and ourselves. A prayerful contemplative engagement with scripture nourishes us on the journey during times of transition. It was in the place of prayer that Peter was mentored by God through receiving his vision and a whole new world opened up for him. His ordered world became disordered but was reordered as he listened to God.

If God does not mentor us through scripture and prayer then we will be mentored by other things which will shape our heads and hearts. Money, sex, power, fear, time and place will tend to dominate and enslave our decision making processes during times of change. Being mentored through scripture and in prayer by Father, Son and Holy Spirit will keep us nourished and receptive in times of transition and able to spot the serpent’s tail.

Mentored by community

In contemporary western organisational life mentoring is usually seen as a dialogue between two people. The idea is that someone who is a bit further along the road helps someone just beginning the journey. We have many examples of this in scripture with Elisha and Elijah, Ruth and Naomi, Barnabas and Paul, Paul and almost everyone else in the New Testament. But the weight of the mentoring process needs to be communal rather than one-on-one relationships, important as they are.

Keeping the right company is critical when it comes to shaping our imaginations and the decisions we make.

Jesus developed His disciples in community. He called the group into existence and formed it around himself as the teacher. The motivation behind His mentoring was not to discover the potential of each disciple so they could live their lives well or that they may have a sense of fulfilment. They were called together so they may establish the church. Jesus calls, teaches, walks with and releases His disciples so they will become the leaders of the emerging church. This communal mentoring theme continues into the first centuries of the church. Cyprian, Pachomius, Basil of Caesarea, and Augustine all place an emphasis on mentoring the group and not only the individual.¹² However, keeping good company in communal mentoring is important. If you were mentored by the Nazareth community it would have been a toxic experience. Keeping the right company is critical when it comes to shaping our imaginations and the decisions we make. However, keeping the right company does not mean keeping safe company.

I have been the member of several mentoring groups. Some have been built around a leader and some have been more peer-focused. The relationships built up in these groups often survive after the conclusion of the group. Many of these sorts of groups go on for decades. These relationships are vital at times of ministry transition. They often contain people who love you but are not so interested in what you can do for them or the particular ministry you have. They usually contain people who are more interested in you as a person rather than in what you can deliver. This is what makes them valuable, particularly in times of transition. They are particularly helpful in absorbing the shock of change and in working out the possible options for the future.

Mentored by a person

If you are blessed you may also have a person who is your mentor, this is a person who ‘with God-given capacity and God-given responsibility to influence a specific group of God’s people towards His purposes for the group,’¹³ mentors you. Church leadership is to do with influencing a group towards God but in times of transition those same leaders usually need someone to mentor them.

A skilled mentor is able to notice our story and see how it connects or disconnects with the story of God.

A skilled mentor is able to notice our story and see how it connects or disconnects with the story of God. They are able to challenge us and call us out of our self-indulgence and fantasies so we may re-engage with God’s story. They are often able to notice where we are in terms of order, disorder and reorder sometimes pointing out that what we considered to be disorder is actually reordering or what we considered as order needs some disordering. They can become Cornelius-like figures in our lives obediently responding to God’s initiative and preventing us from developing Nazareth-like stubbornness when called by God to change. A good mentor leads us out of our boxed up lives and points out the horizons and possibilities ahead. In doing so they prepare us for the next phase of ministry and pastoral responsibility when we will do the same thing for others who are negotiating their way through the labyrinth of money, sex, power, time and place.

Living the story of God, allowing room for our reordering, disavowing the unbelief of Nazareth and being open to the voice of God, is cultivated in us as we learn to live out of control and experience a mentored life. At least this is what I have learned on the journey so far. What is the one virtue that brings this together? Courage. We will need the courage to say no to a little life and yes to the biggest life we can possibly live. If we have the title of Minister, Leader, Pastor or Shepherd our calling demands no less. All this is preparation for the time when a weeping little girl bursts your vain imaginings by telling you, ‘Pastor …. my rabbit’s dead’ and introduces you to the realities of ministry transition.

This article is adapted from a chapter entitled Letting Go and Holding On from the book Moving on in Ministry (2013) SCM-Canterbury Press. Please do not copy without permission.

1 Walter Brueggemann, 1984, The Message of the Psalms, Minneapolis: Augsburg

2 David G. Firth, 2005, Hear, O Lord: A Spirituality of the Psalms, Cliff College Publishing

3 It is possible to live through all of these phases at one time depending on the various spheres of life we inhabit.

4 Ralph C. Stacey, 1993, Strategic Management and Organisational Dynamics, Pitman Publishing

5The Expositor’s Bible Commentary, Frank E. Gaebelein ed., 1981, Richard N. Longnecker, Acts, vol 9 p. 385

6 Leviticus 11

7 Stanley Hauerwas, 2010, Hannah’s Child, London: SCM Press, p.137

8 Eugene H. Peterson, 2007, The Jesus Way, London: Hodder, p. 276, where Peterson describes Hauerwas as ‘my theologian of choice as a conversation partner’

9 Galatians 6:7

10 The intensity of this process depends much on the model, style and ecclesiology practiced. In more collegial models this transition can be easier but it depends on what is really happening underneath the skin of the church and leadership.

11 James H. Houston, 2002, The Mentored Life: From Individualism to Personhood, NavPress

12Edward L. Smither, 2008, Augustine and Mentor: A Model for Preparing Spiritual Leaders, Nashville:B&H Publishing, p.90-91. Smither also points out the importance of correspondence and Church Councils as critical mentoring tackle.

13 Robert Clinton, 1988, The Making of a Leader, Colorado Springs: Nave Press, p.245

Jim Elliot was a passionate young American Missionary. He was born in Portland, Oregon in October 1927 and died 8th January 1956. His body was found in the Curaray River, Ecuador along with four others, Ed McCully, Roger Youderain, Pete Flemming and Nate Saint. These missionaries were murdered by about 10 members of the Auca tribe who understood that these five young Americans meant them harm. The Auca were one of the most violent cultures ever documented. In the middle of the 1940’s 60% of deaths in this tribe were murders because of family and clan warfare. The word Auca in their own language meant ‘savage’. Jim Elliot was aware of this but he and his friends went to explain the Jesus way of love and forgiveness anyway. Before going to the Auca and on page 174 of his diary of 28th October 1949 Elliot wrote, in reference to his own life ‘he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose’ and he was probably quoting Philip Henry an English non-conformist preacher (1663—1696). The phrase has shaped much of the modern mission’s movement and the church is bigger now than at any time in history. ‘He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose’ is a succinct statement of what is going on when you follow Jesus Christ.

In reality, the phrase comes out of the words of Jesus when he says, ‘Those who want to come after me must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For those who want to save their lives will lose them, but those who lose their lives for me will find them.’¹ What is Jesus saying when he said this?

Save your life and lose it

How can we seek to save our lives and end up losing them? We have huge forces working away inside of us. They are shaping our culture and our own lives. Let me just mention four of them. These are our systems of salvation or the horses we put money on in the hope that these will save our lives. On one level all four look good but each can have dark forces working away within them. In our own way we can be just as dangerous as the Auca Indians if some of these forces are let loose in our lives.

I must achieve my own goals

Simply, the way I will get life is through achieving my hard targets and goals. What is wrong with this? Nothing except for the knowledge that Jesus said, ‘what good is it for you to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit your very self’. In other words what is the price you will pay to achieve your own goals and is there a possibility you may lose yourself in the paying? Do you want to be wealthy? What is the price you are prepared to pay to be wealthy? Will it be at the cost of everything else you value? Do you want a successful career? What price will you pay to be professionally successful? It is sometimes tempting the follow Nike and the Nike swoosh rather than Jesus. Nike was the winged goddess of victory and she helped you achieve your goals but the goals may be damaging and the victory worthless.

I must win rather than lose

Winning means different things to each of us. A few years ago I took my Canadian sister-in-law to watch a football match. I think I made a mistake in taking her to watch Millwall football club in South East London. Her vocabulary of English bad language was expanded in the stand at ‘The Den’. How did the Millwall supporters re-define ‘winning’? This was important because they are not that successful as a football club. You discovered their idea of winning from their distinctive chant. It went, ‘No one likes us, no one likes us, No one likes us, we don’t care, We are Millwall, super Millwall, We are Millwall, from the Den, no one likes us, no one likes us, no one likes us and we don’t care. We are Millwasll, super Millwall, we are Millwall from the Den’. There is some punk inspiration there.

How do we define winning? Personally, I don’t care about winning a Gold medal, the Eurovision song contest or a Nobel Prize but if I had the talent I would have had a go at them all. But I know a little bit of my dark heart in this area. Winning for me is being liked, loved and noticed. I am and extrovert I want attention. So, winning for me is getting an invitation to speak at the right conferences, having influence over the right people, knowing people read my books and maintaining my personal sovereignty. This is always problematic and God has had to wrestle me to the ground on a number of occasions and get me to submit. All of these ‘winning’ snakes in the grass have to be watched and dealt with regularly.

I must be powerful and significant

The great cultural indicator of power and significance is busyness. When someone says to us ‘you are always so busy’ we feel it is a compliment. They may have intended it as an insult but we feel that busyness must be a good thing so we hear it as a compliment. Often our busyness is the twisted expression of a sigh in our hearts that we need to be noticed, we need to get attention and we need to be seen as moving ahead.

In the Old Testament the tower of Babel is the great image of this. Before they built the tower they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the earth’.² They wanted a name and they wanted to address their fear of being nobody so they built a tower of significance. But God came down and scattered them anyway. We build our God-free and self-made towers and through them create a huge ‘face’ which we present to the world. We do this so we may not be scattered and that we may avoid being nobodies. Maybe this is one of the reasons why Jesus hung around with prostitutes and sinners. Maybe he was flagging up to us watch how I do this. I am hanging around with those who have little ‘face’, power or significance and who have already been scattered.

This is why affluence can so seductive. It masks and smears over the cracks plastered on our towers of Babel. Affluence can make you feel powerful and significant when inside fear and loneliness creep silently around your heart.

My desires must be fulfilled

The Americans have their Declaration of Independence. In it Thomas Jefferson wrote about the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. People have latched on to ‘the pursuit of happiness’ phrase. But when Jefferson wrote this he was thinking in terms of not being locked up for being in debt or for being a Quaker or Baptist. But that phrase has morphed into the notion that we have the right to pursue whatever makes us happy.³ But if we just pursue our own dreams and happiness we develop a life where we use people and love things when we are intended to love people and use things.

With only these four things in place you can get the world but lose yourself. Everything is expanding well on the outside but the losses are on the inside, eventually emerging on the outside in relationship at home and work.

Lose your life for me and save it

Jesus addresses his disciples and says, ‘Those who would come after me must deny themselves’. He is addressing those who would be people who would ‘come after’ Him. He is saying you regain your life and true self when you pursue Him. On the voyage of discovery for yourself you find out who you are as you discover Him because every revelation of God to you is a revelation about yourself. Simply, you get your life back when you place it into the loving hands of Father, Son and Holy Spirit then life and revelation begin to take place as you pursue Him. If you just pursue your own goals, the need to win, power, significance and desires you do not get Jesus so do not receive all you were intended to be.

Why? Life is not found in building your own tower of Babel but in entering into the kingdom where Jesus is the King. Jesus is the King and the reason he came was to break the strangle hold of the enemy through his death and resurrection and set up his kingdom. Jesus taught us to pray this, ‘thy kingdom come thy will be done’. Eventually, the whole world will see that he is King of Kings and Lord of Lords as his will in heaven is displayed on earth. It is with this King and in this kingdom that you discover your true self and life.

What is His kingdom like? It looks and feels like:

• Freedom. Jesus walked into a synagogue and read the text ‘the Spirit of the Lord is on me because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor … freedom for prisoners … recovery of sight to the blind … releasing the oppressed’⁴ and applied it to himself and what he was doing in the world.
• Healing. Jesus paid attention to people then they were delivered, restored and healed with some being raised some from the dead.
• Forgiveness. Jesus told the story of the prodigal son who tried to save his life in his own way but eventually needed the welcome and forgiveness of his Father so he would be free.
• Celebration. Jesus, offered lavish celebration along with forgiveness. When the prodigal son returns to the Father his response is, ‘Quick bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate’.⁵
• Wisdom. Jesus told stories of wisdom. From the story of the wise and foolish builders through to the story of the shrewd manager and all that is said in the Sermon on the Mount, he taught us how to live our lives.
• Hospitality. Jesus invited people into his company then loved, mentored and instructed them until they are released into the world to do the same with others.
• Transformed hearts. Jesus focused on the heart so that it will be changed. He knew that being in love with him changed everything. As Pedro Arrupe says, ‘Fall in love with God and let that decide everything’.

If you want to follow Jesus this is – more or less – what it will look and feel like. Because Jesus is King Tom Wright says, ‘he commands his hearers to give up their other dreams and to trust his’.⁶ It is in this kingdom that you discover your true self and all the freedom, healing, forgiveness, celebration, wisdom, hospitality and transformation he offers.

Take up the cross and follow

How does this work and what is our part in this? We have to make some decisions about Jesus. Is he merely going to be our life accessory? Will we just select him as our lifestyle attachment? Much to my embarrassment years ago I wore a red badge which in bold white letters read, ‘Jesus is my lifestyle’! To find your life means to acknowledge Him as King, which is the first move and then deny yourself which is the inevitable second move.

Thousands of people were put to death by the Romans. They liked crucifixion as a way of keeping order. A condemned criminal was forced to carry one beam of his cross to the place of crucifixion. Once the process was started the condemned man was on a one way journey, he would not be back. If you follow Jesus you can expect both death and resurrection.

Taking up your cross means a daily death to our own self-made goals, ideas of what winning looks like, our hunger for significance and living life just to fulfil our desires. You die to a whole way of life and you do it daily. Self-help is no help at all in this. You go through the death of your self-made life and enter into his reign of freedom, healing, forgiveness, celebration, wisdom, hospitality and a transformed heart. Taking up your cross does not mean the passive acceptance of a difficult life. Anyone can do this and many do. I don’t just take up my cross, I follow him.

• Taking up the cross can mean I will decentre myself so that others may develop and grow.
• Taking up the cross can mean I will let God decide who are the winners and losers in life.
• Taking up the cross can mean that I am willing to take a path of insignificance so that what is really significant may flourish.
• Taking up the cross can mean that some of the desires I have may never be fulfilled until the new heaven and the new earth emerges.
• Taking up the cross can mean discovering the Auca tribe in Ecuador, realising they are slaughtering themselves and putting yourself in a place where you might be their next victim. You do this as an act of service so they will hear the message of love and forgiveness in Jesus Christ.

Our lives are found, saved and discovered in the freedom of taking up your cross daily and following Jesus who said, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden is light’. This is how we find ourselves.

Life through death

I was in India in 14 years ago and while speaking at a meeting felt my strength ebbing from me. I felt a pain in my chest and sick in my stomach. I cancelled the meeting and went to lie down. Then I felt a pain in my arm. Up to this point I thought I was responding to curry or jetlag but now I know I needed help. I called out to a friend who brought another friend who had received a heart triple by-pass. He told me I was having a heart attack and we needed to go to hospital. I said if we did that it would ruin everyone’s day but he insisted. After being in intensive care for a little while an Indian doctor came to my bed and said, ‘Mr Thomas, my name is Dr. Vishwenath, you are having a heart attack right now. There are two things we can do. One will work the other may work. What do you want’? I said, ‘let’s do the one that works’. He slapped me on the shoulder and said, ‘good decision’.

As he walked away I felt like someone had taken me to the top of Dorchester hotel in London and had pushed me off the top and I was falling. In those minutes after he left my bed I felt aloneness and fear as I have never felt it before. I felt like I was going to die when I hit the pavement below. In my fall and in my imagination Jesus appeared to me and started falling with me. He held my hand as we fell together. This is what I call my moment of presence. In the middle of the fall he turned the tables on me and began celebrating my life. He told me that I had not lived a perfect life but I had lived my life in the right zone. I was stunned by this. Yet, I was unsure if we were going to hit the ground together and my life would come to an end or what was next?

I was then moved to the operating theatre and discovered I was going to be awake while they did the emergency angioplasty. It was like I was in the valley of the shadow of death. After working away speaking in Hindi and English with his fellow doctors my surgeon turned to me and said, ‘Mr Thomas that was a 100% blockage but the procedure has been 100% successful’. Two hours later he came into my room and said, ‘You are a lucky Bastard’. And he told me not to do it again. I had the blockage in the ‘left arterial descending’ chamber of my heart, otherwise known as the ‘widow maker’. The descent was now over and the sensation was resurrection. No longer the fall or the valley of the shadow of death I was on the rise with God. I may also have been experiencing the euphoria of pharmaceuticals.

The point is the journey. In that heart attack journey I lived through fear and aloneness through to presence and celebration. It can be fearful to die to our own systems of self-salvation, it usually is. The instruction to take up your cross and follow me can look terrifying. Critical in that journey is that he walks with and sustains us on the voyage from death to life. He is with us as we walk away from our self-made lives and learn how to discover life in Him. As Jim Elliott wrote, ‘He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose’.

1 Luke 9:18-27 see also Mathew 10:39-39; 16:24-25; Mark 8:34-35; Luke 14:26-27; 17:33; John 12:25

2 Genesis 11:1-8

3 Jan Johnson, Abundant Simplicity, p.26.

4 Luke 4:18-19

5 Luke 15:22

6 Tom Wright, Simply Jesus, 2011 SPCK p.55

In John 2:12-22 we get a warning regarding how different and wild Jesus could appear, ‘In the temple courts he found people selling cattle, sheep and doves, and others sitting at tables exchanging money. So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple area, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said, “Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market!”

Who is this wild leader?

Jesus Christ of Nazareth is God’s speech. He is God’s Word, God’s articulation. The story of the Christian gospel is that Jesus Christ is God made flesh and this reality must be revealed in the entire world. Every move he made revealed God. He was revealed in every conversation he had, all the acts he performed, each look he conveyed, all the healings he did and the attitude he struck. Finally, the revelation of God comes through his cosmos-transforming death and resurrection. So, Jesus Christ is the light; he is God made flesh revealing the luminous, radiant and incandescent glory of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The passion of the Church is that he must be discovered by everyone in every place throughout all time.

What was this wild leader like?

In chapter two of John we have one story that looks like grace and another that looks like truth.

‘We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth’ says John (John 1:14). God has come to us in flesh so God’s skin is full of bone, blood, lungs, intestines, ligaments and sinew and yet all mixed up with two things; grace and truth. When He was present anywhere grace and truth were present everywhere and that is how you could recognise Him.

In chapter two of John we have one story that looks like grace and another that looks like truth. In the first story Jesus graced a wedding by changing water into wine and filling glasses with celebratory drink. But in the second story he went into the temple and filled it with challenging, table-turning, stress-inducing, truth-telling and reordering zeal.

How is it that Jesus behaves so differently?

The water-into-wine story looks like ‘grace’ and ejection of mammals from the temple looks like ‘truth’. But He was full of ‘grace and truth’ all the time. Both stories are full of grace and truth with different aspects presented in each one. In Jesus Christ grace and truth are always held together. It is vital to Christian leadership that we pay attention to this because when these virtues are present we can contemplate doing the wild and radical. The presence of grace and truth enable us to do the wild and radical well. Being wild and radical without grace and truth usually emerges as foolishness and/or disaster for all concerned

Why did Jesus drive sheep, cows and people out of the temple? The main problem was not graft or corruption although this might have been an issue.¹ They needed to have animals to sacrifice and money did have to be exchanged so they could pay their taxes. The deeper problems were much more subtle than graft or corruption. The problem was how these leaders related to God. This brings this story much closer to home.

Jesus normally ate meals and drank wine with broken people, bringing his peace into those everyday situations, just as Christian leaders normally do. But these problems were exceptional and so deep that Jesus made a whip of cords; drove sheep and cattle out of the temple area, scattered the coins of the money- changers and turned their tables over, while shouting to the dove sellers, ‘Get these out of here!’ There had been what Michael Stocking calls, ‘the quiet gravitational pull of the status quo’ or what some others refer to as the normalisation of deviance.

What were their problems?

Leadership problem one: Loss of Direction

We have some older friends who went on a driving holiday to Italy. They had their maps, intelligence, experience and a Satnav. However, they leaned heavily on the Satnav. It was only when their wing mirrors were touching both walls along a very narrow street in a northern Italian village and they were shouting at each other that they consulted the map to changed direction.

I remember early in my marriage – well before the days of Satnav- heading off for dinner with my new wife. The only problem was I had confused Chorleywood with Chingford. It was very confusing for me driving the car and even more confusing for my wife who trusted me in this matter. We were two hours late for dinner in Chorleywood. If my memory serves me well much of the drive from Chingford to Chorleywood was in deep silence.

With the loss of direction came a loss of orientation. They were disorientated and disordered. Their leaders had lost their way.

Jesus cleared the temple because there was a loss of direction. What was intended as a place for communion was turned into commerce and what was a place of worship became a place of trade. The place for adoration of God was taken over by animals and money-making. Worshiping God, animal sacrifice and money-making were all important, but a blurring had taken place because their leaders were not paying attention. “How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market” exclaims Jesus. With the loss of direction came a loss of orientation. They were disorientated and disordered. Their leaders had lost their way.

So, Jesus gave them direction, some order, and it was a temporary ejection from the temple. In rugby this would be a period in the ‘sin bin’. After a serious foul this is the place where you pay a penalty, cool off and think again so you can come back and participate in the game.

Leadership problem two: Loss of Memory

They had lost their way because they had lost their memory. This temple was meant to be a house for the nations and it appears the leaders had forgotten this. The outer court of the temple was also called the ‘Court of the Gentiles’. This was a place for the rest of the world. This was intended to be a ‘house of prayer for all nations’ (Mark 11:17).

Harvey Cox, who used to lecture at Harvard said, ‘In keeping with the vision of their prophets, the builders of the ancient temple in Jerusalem designed it to be a house of prayer for all peoples. There was an inner area where only Jews were admitted. Here stood the Holy of Holies, which only the high priest was permitted to enter, and that only once a year, on the Day of Atonement. There was also a section explicitly named “the Court of the Gentiles.” Throughout the ancient world, many Gentiles worshipped with Jews without ever converting to Judaism. The Jews welcomed them as “God-fearers,” and their presence in the temple reflected the age-old Jewish hope that one day all nations and peoples, including “strangers and sojourners,” would join in praise of the One who created them all.’ Harvey Cox (Common Prayers p.1).

If you do not remember well you not only lose your memory but you also lose your vision.

The leaders had a huge gap in their memory. They had forgotten the words of the prophet Isaiah, ‘for my house will be called a house for all nations’ (Isaiah 56:7) whom Jesus quotes in Mark 11:17. They had forgotten that they were to be a light to the nations. They had forgotten that they were to ‘bless’ the nations (Genesis 12). The Christian leader’s first task is to remember, not to innovate. Innovation only works well when grounded in the right memory. If you do not remember well you not only lose your memory but you also lose your vision. You begin pointless journeys like a spider trying to walk out of a bath.

Leadership problem three: Loss of Authority

Alistair Darling, the ex-chancellor of the exchequer said, “You know when you are no longer a government minister when you get in the back of a car and it doesn’t move”. The leaders of the temple were losing power but did not know how huge would be their loss.

Authority and power were shifting away from the leaders of the temple and heading towards Jesus. The leaders of the temple wanted to know by what ‘authority’ Jesus caused this animal and table-turning chaos. They asked, “What miraculous sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?” Jesus answered, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.” John explains that the temple Jesus was talking about was his body. The Jewish leaders did not understand this; they thought he was talking about the physical temple in Jerusalem.

Jesus was explaining that his act of throwing the animals and tradesmen out of the temple was an indication of a much more profound change. The act was an indication that a dynamic shift in authority was taking place.

We know now that a new temple was being revealed through the body of Jesus and particularly through his death and resurrection. The shift was away from a physical temple towards the new dynamic of participation in the life of Father, Son and Holy Spirit. No longer would it be walking on the stone flags of the temple. From now on it would be walking in the life of the Holy Spirit in the power of the resurrection. Everything was changing for the temple leaders. They had to adjust or be left behind.

So in summary, why did Jesus make a whip of cords and turn tables over? Why did he communicate in such a radical and wild way? The leaders had lost touch with where they were going, what they were for and who was in charge. For Jesus this was outrageous neglect and demanded a response. This situation had to change and Jesus changed it in a most dramatic way.

If Jesus was to come into your church or organisation:

•   What table would he want to turn over?
•   What would he like to scatter?
•   Where would he like to bring some temporary chaos?

On a personal level

•   What does he want to turn over in our lives?
•   What would he want to drive out?
•   What would be his Word to us?

How should leaders respond to losing direction, memory and authority? How do we learn wild leadership?

Cultivate a rich relationship with God

Jesus was able to be wild and radical because he was full of truth and love. If we are going to lead with wild leadership it will be because the virtues of love and truth are being cultivated in us. Gengis Khan, Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler could all be wild and radical but all it led to was destruction. The Jesus who scattered the money on the ground is also the Jesus who turned water into wine. He is wonderfully complex in his love and purpose. We need to understand and feel his love for us while living out his purpose for our lives if we are going to get his sort of wild leadership.

Open up your senses

Without opening up your life to the realities of the world you do not know where to deploy the gift of wild leadership you have.

Keep your eyes, ears, nose, fingers and tongue working. Watch, hear, smell, feel and taste so you don’t lose touch with what is happening around you. Don’t congeal into your final state but develop awareness with all the capacity God has provided for you. Read, converse, worship, pray and engage the world. Wild leaders learn to engage the world in its fullest sense. Without opening up your life to the realities of the world you do not know where to deploy the gift of wild leadership you have.

Become familiar with what has colonised your imagination

We have all been colonised by something. What had colonised your head and heart and what does it mean? Who or what is in there, shaping what you say, do and model? What are the repetitive images and phrases that shape you? The first act of table turning needs to be in our own heads and hearts. We need to be scattered and confused so we can be put back together in a healthy way with our imaginations colonised by the Holy Spirit.

Anticipate God’s wildness towards you

God is a God of surprises. You don’t know what this wonderful wild Jesus is going to do next. Keep your pants on tight! Remember that He is full of grace and truth and anticipate doing the audacious in his name. Jacki Pullinger was advised to get on a ship, travel a long way and pray so she would know when to get off. Her remarkable work amongst drug addicts in Hong Kong was the result. It may be that God’s surprise for you is more mundane but just as magnificent and wild in its own way.

With these things weaving through our hearts and head we can ask some other questions:

•   What outrage does God want us to respond to?
•   What tables does God want us to turn over?
•   Where does God want us to enter into leadership that is radical and wild yet full of grace and truth?

As we head out on this journey it will be worth remembering the words of Henri Nouwen; ‘The need for a heroic self-image is the biggest barrier to service for Christ … when I have nothing to lose I have nothing to defend. Only then can I have everything to give’ Henri Nouwen, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life.

Are we on a journey towards being more like Jesus or temple leaders? Do we have the freedom for wild leadership or shall we just play it safe?

1 DA Carson says, ‘This is true even in the parallel synoptic accounts (Matt 21:12-17; Mark 11:15-18 and Luke 19:45-46) where in most translations Jesus accuses the merchants and money-changers of turning the temple into a “den of robbers”. The Greek expression suggests zealotry not thievery.’